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Carla’s Niche
Avalon Journal
Copyright © 2006 L/L Research
Saturday, September 3, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Yesterday was an offsite work day. Bear was to meet me at the Shack at 9:00 AM so that we could drive together to Shelbyville. He arrived at about 8:35, a perfectly reasonable time, but I had overslept and was still in bed. How embarrassing! I sleepily heard the truck, wondered at the sound, then abruptly sat up, throwing cats off with the covers and scrambling into my jeans.
We drove down to Shelbyville to help a friend move some concrete stairs. They proved heavier than we anticipated, at over 400 pounds! In return, this friend generously donated four solar panels to the project. WOW! What a blessing! The panels are a few years old, but appear to be new in the box and are of extremely good quality.
I needed to continue my own work day at the computer there, so Bear went out in search of food stores and cheaper gasoline. He returned at 5:00 PM to pick me up.
Later in the evening, this same contributor phoned us. He has a farm (I don’t know where yet) with a building on it that he intends to demolish at some point. He has offered to let us have a look at that building and scavenge any usable bits and parts we can carry away. Woo-hoo! Gifts from heaven!
Today, I arose about 8:00, and put the Shack to rights again. I sorted and put away all the food Bear acquired yesterday, did some minor rearranging, ate breakfast and hung the new shower curtain for the big shower stall. Then I sat down with my stash of saved and washed baby food jars and moved our seed stores from their paper packets to new, airtight storage.
I was still at it when Bear arrived. He disappeared with the new weed whacker and its attachments to see about clearing some of the hillside. He also investigated the newly acquired solar panels, and noodled out a way to integrate them with our existing system. We took some more measurements of the Sumai site, and I called Carter Lumber for specs on the pole barn we hope to erect.
Specs in hand, I proceeded to begin yet another sketch of the Sumai layout. This is something like the “dozenth” time I’ve done this, and you would think it would be easy by now. It’s not. I wrestled with it for a while and decided to quit burning battery time. I watered the seed-starter-boxes on the porch, perused the garden with its cracked tomatoes and dying cucumbers, and talked with Bear about what needs doing next.
My list keeps getting longer. I kid myself into thinking it’s all manageable by sorting it into categories: construction to do list, computer to do list, bookkeeping to do list, Camelot project to do list, etc. Someday (maybe this winter?), I’ll get it under control.
Sunday, September 4, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Today will be the first day of L/L’s new season of meditation meetings. I had thought I would be there today, but alas, it didn’t work out that way.
High on my list today was to check the sun line so that we can find the best place to put our new solar panels. So, betwixt and between, I dashed over to the Shed area (we can only run wire so far) to track the sun’s progress across the sky. Blessedly, we had a perfectly gorgeous day, and my view of the sun was unimpeded.
Of course, no matter where we go, we encounter trees, and there will be a lot more tree clearing in the days to come.
But we also need to winterize the Shack. I kept trying to get to a point in my list today that I would pull the shelves away from the walls in the office and begin gluing up foamboard. I never quite got that far.
I did, however, stack the latest batch of sawn wood into a tidy pile to begin its seasoning process.
I also began marking trees down by the creek that I would like to keep. That is to say I would like NOT to clear them. Much of the afternoon was spent pulling vines off of the trunks of trees so that I could see whether their leaf coverage was their own. We have Muscatine vines that climb for a bit and then lean outward, becoming branches easily mistaken for a part of the hosting tree. Once cleaned of vines, I also pruned the lower branches of those I marked to keep, so that we will be able to comfortably walk among them and keep the undergrowth down.
Upon watering my seed-starter-boxes, I discovered (to my astonishment) that several have begun to sprout! As Carla said recently—we have indeed learned that Avalon will try to grow anything. However, we have also learned that we have a few major challenges to manage: drainage, drought, and BUGS. Of the summer veggies we attempted, we learned that peppers (both sweet and hot) do best. We’ll put them on the list of possible Avalon “crops.”
Tomorrow will be a half day, as I am needed down at Camelot for a few hours. I’ll take Mocha with me; for some inexplicable reason, she has been vomiting all evening, and most of what comes up is grass, even though she has not had access to grass in several hours. I need to keep an eye on her.
Monday, September 5, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
I woke up this morning exhausted. Again. It’s not supposed to work that way, but it seems to be becoming the rule. (Sigh)
Spent about 30 minutes cleaning out the dying garden, then printed out the layout work I did last night so Bear could look it over. I pulled together my things for the trip down to Camelot … Mocha was still decidedly unwell, so she went with me.
The afternoon at Camelot went well, and then I trekked back to Avalon. Arriving at the top of the hill, I phoned the Shack to see if the road was clear. There was no answer, so I had to assume it might not be. I shouldered my cat and hiked down the hill. On the way down, I met a young man on a four-wheeler coming up. Since I was struggling to hang onto my cat, we did not stop to chat, only smiling and nodding at one another. I wonder who he was; perhaps he’s the son of one of our neighbors?
It turned out Bear was out on the backhoe, excavating the Sumai site. I didn’t want to get in his way, so I busied myself in the Shack pulling down the things on the walls in preparation for winterizing. Soon, Bear was done and I was scratching my head over a new challenge.
I met him outside and we walked over to the Sumai together. From there he showed me around the clearing that he has done toward the southwest end of the valley. The ruins have collapsed completely (without our help), leaving us with yet another challenge. Those ruins will need to be further flattened and tidied, as they remain extremely unstable and dangerous.
We discussed … no, that’s not true. Bear talked while I listened and pondered. He talked about water flow through the valley, and the challenges of directing it.
We came back to the Shack and Bear examined my still ill cat, coming to the conclusion that she probably has swallowed something that was not food. Her little system seems to be struggling to pass it—whatever it is—on through.
Bear gave me a ride to the top of the hill, where I left my car, and returned home for the evening. I went to Madison to pick up an eyedropper so that I can force fluids into my swiftly dehydrating feline.
If I can stay awake for a while, I will re-work the Sumai layout tonight to accommodate Bear’s request for more efficient utility access.
Tuesday, September 6, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Still exhausted. I think maybe I’m too tired to sleep. Does that make any sense?
I had another crack at the layout this morning. Bear liked the plan I had drawn up but had a couple of requests. I was still sitting at the computer when his truck came down the hill.
We went to work on the satellite dish. First, Bear checked on tools while I moved the seed-starter-boxes out to the picnic table. Then, as it turned out, the dish needed to be moved. So, Bear got up on the roof of the Shed, I got into the attic and we sweated through it. It is indeed a LOT more secure, now.
After a water break, he gave me a quick tutorial on the use of the branch cutter attachment of the weed whacker; then we tilted—Don Quixote style—at the big box elder tree by the Shack. I’m getting better at riding in the loader bucket of the backhoe, but it’s still unnerving at times.
Branches down and brush hauled off the road, Bear went back to D’s.
I decided to do further clean up of the brush. First, I was side-tracked by the “poison ivy post” lying there with one end in the firepit and the other sticking out the back. This untidiness had been bothering me for some time, and now seemed as good a time as any. I did not want to risk the new branch cutter (mini-chainsaw) against possible nails in the wood, so I went to work with my small handsaw, sawing the post into thirds so it would fit into the firepit. About 2/3 of the way through on the second cut, it sounded like I hit a nail. I heard metal-on-metal, and the blade sang. So, I set aside my saw and I jumped up and down on the post, to see if it was breakable. In short, I ended up whaling on it with a 3# sledge for about 30 minutes. The 10# sledge would undoubtedly be more effective, but I was tired, and did not trust my hands to manage the larger tool. At last the post did break, and before tossing the pieces into the pit, I examined them. There was no evidence of a nail. I don’t know what I hit, but my blade was not hitting metal.
I returned to my agenda, sorting the downed limbs into deadwood and green. Then I pulled my firewood boxes out of the Shack and set about breaking down (cutting where necessary) the deadwood pile into grades of kindling. By dark, all I had left was a pile of large branches, 4-6 inches in diameter, to be cut into manageable firewood. The green wood was heaped next to the firepit.
Dinner was chicken salad, eaten at my computer. I thought I was going to solve the ventilation for the Sumai layout, but became stuck in fixing elevation issues with the overall plan. By the time I had them sorted out, it was 10:30 and time to quit.
My whole body aches. I believe I will sleep tonight.
I hope.
September 7, 2005
LoneBear's Log
Been a while since I updated the photo journal; we’ve done lots of things, so here is a quick summary.
Morning at Avalon
Caught this picture about 9am in the morning; a typical view of the morning mist at Avalon, spreading the sun’s light into rays beaming thru the trees.
Sumai Building Site
Finished the excavation of the Sumai site and associated root cellar, which will be in the back from this view. We’ve cut down 8 feet into the back hill to provide good insulation for the root cellar. The Sumai, itself, will be two stories high, extending about twice the height of the cut at the back.
Herb Garden
In looking for a place to dump all the dirt we were removing from the Sumai site, V. created a “garden spot” for the future, so I could move dirt now and not have to spend all day hauling it off to a different section of Avalon. Even saved the topsoil and place it over the clay that built up this future garden area. We don’t have any plans to plant now; but it will be there when we need it later on.
Mini-Pond
The drought took a severe toll on our available water. This spot in the stream, however, never went dry. Used the backhoe to widen and deepen it somewhat, so it now holds over 1000 gallons of water, about 4 times what was there before—in case we get another drought this year!
Outhouse Gone!
Now that we have the composting toilet for full-time use, we’ve removed and filled in the old outhouse area. No immediate plans for the spot, and it still needs some more clearing of scrub out of the area. But it does open up the shed area nicely.
Box Elder got a Trim
Using the backhoe and the recently acquired pole saw, we were able to trim off the majority of the dead branches from the box elder that hangs over the Sugar Shack. This relieves a lot of concern that one of those branches that would fall and onto the ancient roof, and go right thru it!
The tree is feeling a lot better now, with all that dead wood gone.
Field Widening
Though it is not easy to see in this picture, I’ve been working on widening the existing field by thinning out the trees. Finally got around to removing the entangled cherry patch to the left; the blob on the right side is a pile of vine and tangled up tree limbs that was left over. Perhaps a bonfire later this year?
A Fork in the Road
Over on the other side of the creek, I’ve improved the access considerably, which can now handle 4x4 trucks, as well as the backhoe and tractor. Just added the road off to the right, which proceeds in a big loop around the south side of Avalon, past the old ruins, and back down by the tent … all in all, about a mile of extra road. This access now gives us the ability to get equipment in there and reclaim the old south side field.
New Road
This is a shot of the new road running the loop on the south side of Avalon. Still rough, but passable. The brush needs clearing, and the trees need to be thinned some, but it’s a start.
Shower Stall
One of the visitors that came for the Law of One conference brought us a shower stall, so now we can have a hot solar shower at Avalon.
I refer to it as the “pylon”, from the old Saturday morning TV series, “Land of the Lost.”
More Seeds
V. put together some seed starter trays, and we got some test crops for the fall. The summer crops had quite a bit of problems; glad we did it. The biggest success was peppers; next were tomatoes. On the “not too good” list was cucumber and squash; and radishes just do not seem to work well. No one anticipated the intensity of insect problems, and how hard it is to get rid of them.
Red Oak Named
The 150-year-old red oak that resides near the south side of the property finally got a name. While clearing the overgrown under it, it came to me that this entity, who has been sitting here in the SGC for years without a name, needed one. What else could it be for a Stargate SG-1 fan but “Walter”!
“Chevron seven … locked.”
Ruins Collapsed
The old ruins, formerly a two-story house, collapsed shortly after hurricane Katrina came by. We think the wood got saturated with water, and the extra weight brought the century-old building down.
Wednesday, September 7, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
I awoke at 8:30 this morning, having actually slept the whole night through! For the first time in ages I felt rested. Woo-hoo!
Today was Wednesday, and began with my mother’s phone call. We chatted for over an hour, and then I needed to get yesterday’s journal entry edited. While sitting at the computer, I heard a truck come down the hill. I thought, of course, that it was Bear and simply continued with my work. However, the truck pulled into parking area, and did not shut off. I got up to look out the door in time to see a royal blue Chevy pickup truck pulling out and heading back up the hill. I’m guessing it’s the same guy I saw yesterday on the four-wheeler. He probably is used to coming down here to hunt.
I finished my computer work, shut down my computer and got out my handsaw. The pile of greenwood from yesterday’s box elder pruning awaited me, and I wanted the yard cleaned up before Bear arrived.
I stacked the spindly leafy parts in the firepit, and started a pile of usable branches. Then I hunted down a rake and cleaned up the worst of the debris from the grass. The pile of large branches still waited by the Shack, so I fired up the branch cutter and made firewood of it. I had just shut down the cutter and sat down on the front step to catch my breath (and congratulate myself) when I heard Bear’s truck coming down the hill.
He remarked on the clean yard, and how it sure didn’t seem like much once all the wood was broken down and stacked. Indeed, the tidy little piles are hard to reconcile against the pile of large limbs we saw yesterday.
Shortly, Bear had felled another tree. Two, actually, as the first caught on a small one nearby and pulled it down. The sycamore was a big tree and we spent the afternoon reducing it to a manageable pile. There were water breaks, of course, and a discussion about website development, but at the end of the day, we simply sat and rested our weary muscles.
Bear offered the use of the hot shower at D’s, an offer I could not refuse. He also offered to buy dinner, another offer I could not refuse. Showered and fed, I was too tired to think, but managed to drive home to the Shack.
Unfortunately, I appear to have poison ivy! How that happened, I do not know, as I have always been immune. I guess I’ll have to start saying I have “an unusually high tolerance” rather than “immunity.” (Sigh) In any event, I have an astonishing crop of little red bumps that are beginning to itch fiercely. The pattern would suggest I acquired whatever-it-is the other day when I was marking trees down by the creek.
Thursday, September 8, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
My day began with phone calls. I needed to call mother, as there was something about which I forgot to tell her in yesterday’s conversation. That conversation got a little out of hand, as it lasted another full hour. Then, I phoned S to arrange for my offsite workday on Friday. Finally, I called the satellite internet access people, walked through some technical stuff, and ultimately called an installer to arrange a day for someone to come out and have another look at our dish.
Then I sat down at the computer and began puzzling out the ventilation in the proposed cellar of the Sumai. That is where Bear found me when he arrived.
The afternoon was another of felling trees. Rather, he felled and I helped haul away. He gave me a refresher on driving the backhoe, and I happily drove the piles of limbs off to the “chip pile.” I even learned how to operate the backhoe itself (until now I’ve only worked the loader) and hauled the trunk of one of our trees off into the meadow.
Bear commented on his own case of poison ivy—it isn’t acting like poison ivy. Neither is mine (although if it weren’t for Bear’s description, I wouldn’t know it). This is curious, to say the least.
After Bear left, I stripped and scrubbed down (cold water this time). All that sweat today drove my rash of whatever-it-is to new levels of distraction.
Last thought of the evening … there are leaves all over my yard again.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Ahhh, back at Avalon!
Friday evening, a young man, P, flew in to visit L/L and Avalon. I picked him up at the airport and brought him back to Camelot to meet the crew. He stayed through the meditation yesterday, and we drove out here last night. Unfortunately, we arrived just after dark, so there was not a lot to see. Still, I gave him the nickel tour, explaining the composting toilet and showing him around the Shack. He seems to resonate well with the place.
Today was a clean-up day. We chipped brush, sawed down trees, weed-whacked vines, hauled trunks, and generally wore ourselves out.
I don’t know if I mentioned it, but my rash IS beginning to look JUST like poison ivy. It is blistering up, itching like mad, and spreading. (Sigh) I guess I’ll just have to face the fact that I am not in fact immune to poison ivy. I wonder if I have a high tolerance, saturated by my activity out here, or if my immunity has reversed itself and become a sensitivity. Sheesh. Life is never simple.
Anyway, all of the work outside today had me running with sweat, and fighting to control the desire to scratch. I changed my shirt three times. Last night, I tried the poison ivy treatment (called “Tecnu”) that Bear has told me works very well. However, it did not work for me. In fact, I seem to have become worse. It is as though the Tecnu only spread the irritation around. Although I am willing to cope with the idea of being sensitive to poison ivy, I still cannot quite believe this is poison ivy. I keep thinking of all that lichen, falling from the bark of the trees; all that lichen that I could not get off my skin because it adhered to my sweat. Hmmm.
At the end of the day, P generously offered to take us all out “for protein.” Bear and I gratefully accepted, and we journeyed to Madison and Ponderosa for dinner. Yum!
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Up at 9:00. P appeared as I was heading out for my GoJo scrub. There is something extremely satisfying about a complete rubdown with degreasing, pumice-filled soap. You would think I had scrubbed all my skin off about three times over by now, but still I itch and the rash continues to spread. Ack! This is not the behavior of poison ivy. If it were poison ivy, the urushiol should have run its course by now. Bear mentioned mites yesterday (ewww), but I still feel fungus—lichen—is a more resonant possibility.
About 10:20, the StarBand installer arrived to adjust our dish. He called in for our polarity info, using his “backdoor number,” and still ended up waiting on hold for the better part of an hour. Still, this man knew his business, and got our internet connection up and running! Wheeeee!
I downloaded my email, which has been languishing in webville, awaiting this very day. Of course, I still had to sort and process all of it, which took a little while. P also took the opportunity to check his email. Looks like the Shack is sailing into the 21st century in fine style.
Meanwhile, Shawnee has made it clear she is not ill (did I mention she had stopped eating?). She is feasting on all the mice that our tree-clearing activity sent scurrying into the Shack. She is in high spirits, and getting fatter every day. Mocha remains well, though she is wary of turkey (which I must say is really odd for her) and no longer inclined to eat everything in sight, whether it is in fact edible or not. I dare to hope she has learned something from her misadventure.
I spent a bit of time on the computer, catching up on my stuff, and trying desperately not to scratch my burning skin. P and Bear went out and cleared a couple of trees that were occasionally interfering with the satellite signal.
At the end of the day, they were out of breath and starved. I felt gloriously pampered, in that I had not had to go out and sweat, so I offered to take them out for pizza. We went to Pizza Hut in Madison and stuffed ourselves. It was a delightful evening of satisfying food and excellent company.
Oh—at Bear’s suggestion, I tried colloidal silver on my rash yesterday. At some point this afternoon, I realized that the areas in which the rash seems to be calming down are those on which I sprayed the colloidal silver. I reported this, and Bear declared that meant it was indeed a fungus. Before and after our pizza outing, we stopped by Radio Shack and WalMart for supplies to create more colloidal silver. I’m going to need gallons of it.
P and I sat out on the porch and yakked until 1:00 AM. Then, I tried to go to bed, but couldn’t quite manage it. I stayed up and read until 2:30. On the occasions that I stepped outside, I saw his light on in the shed. Apparently, he’s not sleeping either. Boy, are we going to be tired tomorrow!
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
We had a quiet day today.
My mother called at 9:00 AM, as is her habit. We had a nice chat, and about 10:15 I was free … off for my GoJo scrub.
When Bear arrived, P and I were sitting on the porch, talking. Rather, I was talking (again) and he was politely listening. Bear said hello and began to rig up our colloidal silver “generator.” LOL. My skin eagerly awaits the results.
The three of us sat and talked, and eventually I felt compelled to get on the computer. Yesterday’s success with internet access lent me impetus to get into MS FrontPage and update the Avalon journal website with all the back entries that I’ve been sitting on.
I certainly didn’t get all the entries loaded, but I made a pretty good dent. Now I’m only one month behind, instead of two. (Sigh)
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Brush-clearing day. Whew! With P still visiting, we got a LOT done.
We started out with Bear using the chainsaw to down dead trees over to the NE side of the meadow while P and I chipped the pile that had been accumulating near the well. Once the well site is clear of brush, we hope to use the backhoe to scoop out the mud and debris in the bottom. Then we’ll go down in hip waders and start lining the bottom and walls with rock again, backfilling to create a true “well” (as opposed to a hole in the ground).
Later, Bear used the backhoe to drag the downed trees out. P helped him with hooking and unhooking chains, etc, while continued I chipping.
My poison-fungus rash burns and stings like fire when I start sweating. I really wish I could just get lost in the work and forget I have it for a few hours, but the rivulets of sweat only serve to spread the discomfort. Oi! The colloidal silver DOES work, but it doesn’t stick. I start sweating, and, “Pffft!”
We three—Bear, P, and I—talked late into the night again, and “Wow!” can P suck down the information! He’s like a sponge. Usually, an intense mental exercise will wear someone out in a few hours, but he seems to almost get high off it. Yesterday was a twelve-hour stint, and tonight was at least another five hours. I’m pooped.
Tonight is P’s last night on Avalon. He’s starting to get a little melancholy. I don’t think he wants to leave.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Road day. Funny how, even when you do lots of other things, your memory seizes on the miles of road you stared at in between.
The guys squeezed into my little mustang this morning. P is slight of build, and would normally be quite comfortable in my car. But, because Bear is not so slight, P had to ride in the backseat. Well, it’s an ‘88 mustang. The backseat is more of a nod to space behind the “real” seats. Add luggage, and it was cramped.
We drove to Louisville, and dropped in at Camelot. Bear was set to have lunch with Carla, and P wanted to say his goodbyes. About twenty minutes and a bathroom break later, P and I were off to the airport. Then I ran errands … best to get ‘em done while Bear didn’t have to ride in the passenger seat. I visited the Bank, Post Office, pet supply store, etc., and arrived back at Camelot about five minutes after Bear and Carla.
Various smaller projects attended to there, we were back on the road about 5:30. We stopped at Cracker Barrel in LaGrange for dinner, and got back into Milton in time for Sci-Fi Friday.
September 17, 2005
Carla’s Journal
Jim and I drove some wood up to Avalon this morning and it was entirely comfortable in his truck, which, at age 15, has no air conditioning and can be warm in summer weather. The day was gray-skied and cool, the temperature in the ‘70s, the slight wind making the wayside Queen Ann’s Lace and goldenrod nod. Our spice trees along our access road are blooming with berries and there are some tiny golden flowers along the woodland lane that I must identify some day.
Jim dropped off the wood and he and Vara loaded the trailer with a bedstead and mattress and springs we had stored at Sugar Shack over the last couple of years, since the Huge Yard Sale where we finally cleared out Camelot of all our excess belongings and made a community home out of Jim’s and my home plus the new people and their goods and chattels. I just knew we would need some beds down the road and so saved my hospital beds, which are hard to find, and an old bed of Don’s Mother’s that is made of cherry and quite pretty. We brought back the cherry bed and shall re-arrange our guest beds, now that Vara has shrunk her needed space back to one room in the Camelot dwelling, for maximum sleeping possibilities. One never knows when a new intern may need a bedroom! Spirit has wonderful ways of sending us the appropriate people from the home clans! Since we still need people, Spirit will be sending them! Now we will be a bit more ready.
Much has been accomplished since we were last there for a real visit. I was up there last with the film crew in May so I had a summer’s work to see. Many trees have been cut and more pruned to be happier and healthier. The meadow is much clearer. The last of the trash pile which was near Sugar Shack when Jim and I bought this land in 1988 has been moved. The Ute was wired and furnished with a good workbench, all the original solar panels’ batteries in place and a wonderful donation from Steve F. of more solar panels, which will double our power, waiting for installation. Bruce and Steve traded work recently, with Bruce and Vara pitching in to help move some construction materials Steve needed, and Steve donating these top-of-the-line panels, worth several thousand dollars.
The old sheltering area for farm equipment which Jim made some years back has been redone completely, made much larger and leveled. It is now the parking area for both equipment and vehicles. Several culverts and a slew of other drainage pipe has been dug out, laid and otherwise installed and so the road, even though it is not yet re-graveled, is in great shape. There is also a loop of new road Bruce and Monster (the back hoe) have made across the feeder creek to the Sumai area out of the scree gathered while clearing the stream bed and Sumai site. In addition to the branch that jogs starboard across the feeder creek off to the Sumai site, it takes off across the broad reaches of Locust Creek and through the part of the valley which includes the new Intern/Ranger tent in the upper meadow and the now-completely-downed ruins of the two-story building that used to grace our acres. Bruce and Vara intend to scavenge the ruins thoroughly for good lumber and then take the rest of the dwelling completely down.
I asked Avalon how she liked all the changes and she was happy! I asked about the Indians and they said, “Hey! We’re here!” The let me feel their joy and peace, laughing with me gently. I also asked after the white man who had died on the property, who had also been included in our memorial service last spring, but there was no answer except from Avalon, who said he was at peace now but quite dead. The love of the land which would have given him a lasting inner-planes presence if he wished after physical death as part of the land itself was missing. He was no longer with the land except in his body’s dust. I asked if Avalon had any concerns and she said she was wondering about water. She wanted to give us better water. I said that was great. I promised her that we would listen for any hints she could give us and also dowse for water. I promised her we were OK. Bless her heart; she was concerned about us frail humans and our plants and trees.
The land is so alive! I talked with Vara while we toured Bruce’s road loop by the ruins about writing down some of the Myths of Avalon. I just know that between all the spirits Bruce and Vara have seen, the Indians who talk with us and all the other creatures of the place coming to know and trust us, we can find out some good stories. Every place needs its stories! And especially Avalon! It has such vitality! I never met a piece of land more eager to serve. She loves us dearly. And we love her.
Naturally, I had to stop a while and sing for Avalon. I went over to the edge of the Sumai site and sat on the dirt pile to worship and commune. Here is a sample of my Matins:
Spirit Divine, attend our prayers,
And make this house thy home.
Descend with all thy gracious powers,
O come, great Spirit, come!
Come as the light; to us reveal
Our emptiness and woe,
And lead us in those paths of life
Whereon the righteous go.
Come as the fire and purge our hearts
Like sacrificial flame;
Let our whole soul an offering be
To our Redeemer’s Name.
Come as the dove and spread thy wings,
The wings of peaceful love;
And let thy folk on Earth become
Blest as the folk above.
Spirit Divine, attend our prayers;
Make a lost world thy home.
Descend with all thy gracious powers;
O come Great Spirit, come!
I felt full of thoughts and musings on the way back. Vara had told me a story and so had Jim. Here is Vara’s story:
A Zen master in charge of a garden told the apprentice to tidy the garden. He hurried off to do so. He raked and weeded, patted and plumped and soon had the place neat as a pin. The master viewed the work and suggested work was still to be done. Everything must be used. So the student took the brush, leaves and waste and chipped it to make mulch. He stacked the wood to burn, used the waste stone to fortify places needing more drainage and so forth until there was no more waste. Again the master viewed the garden. All was tidy, stewarded and beautiful. “It needs one more touch,” said the master. He went to the trees and shook them a bit, then shook the flowers until a modest amount of debris had fluttered to dot the grounds. “Ah,” said the master. “Perfect.”
Jim’s story goes like this, and it is one he first heard from his beloved teacher, T. D. Lingo:
The master and his student were living in a cave. There was a stony field nearby and the master asked the student to build them a sleeping hut. It took the student weeks to select the stones and stack them, plan his building and then execute its construction. Finally all the stone was laid, the structure was erected and the master came to view it. “It is not quite right,” said the master. “Take it down and rebuild it.” The obedient student did so. After many weeks the master viewed the work and again instructed the student to take the work down and rebuild it. The master repeated this exercise nine times in all. The ninth time, the master accepted the work. “It was never about building a hut,” said the master. “We have a cave. It was about learning patience, faith and obedience.”
Avalon is not about building buildings, at least not entirely and not primarily, although we very much need these structures to give some form and support to the functions we hope to fulfill there. It is about the lessons we are learning as we build both these structures and the relationships between us all in the community of Avalon. Patience and faith, the boldness which can take down and rebuild when we feel that is needed and above all, perhaps, obedience to a voice not our own but that of the Spirit, call to us. We are not tidy. We are a half-step down from chaotic. And yet, in my heart, I know Avalon is perfect. We are growing well.
As we wended our way back to Louisville, Jim and I started singing a song he wrote when he came to Kentucky. I suggested we change the last line of the chorus to make it our Avalon song, and Jim agreed, so his line “You’re my home,” is now, “Home on Avalon.” It goes like this:
Well, the city life was killing me;
I couldn’t take no more,
So I said, “Hey, Kentucky,
I’m a-knocking at your door!
If you’ll let me live within your hills
I’ll sow my life like seed
And learn to live the simple way
Where love grows like a weed.”
Hey, Kentucky!
Oh, Kentucky!
Yeah, Kentucky!
Home on Avalon.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Ah, the sweet sound of a successful boot-up!
The latest additions to my computer system had resulted in it “hanging” during boot up. So, I finally bit the bullet and decided it was time to upgrade my OS. Back when XP first came out, I was living and working in Silicon Valley. We had some nightmarish rollouts at work and I swore I would never load XP on my PC. I would wait for something better.
Hah! The universe loves it when we silly humans declare in absolutes. “Never say never!” Nothing better has ever come out, except “winServer 03” (or something like that), which is inappropriate for my PC. So, I have languished in Win2K-land, updating here and patching there to keep my system running.
The time had come. I had to move to XP. Everyone I talked to said, “It’s been fixed. It’s stable now.” More than that, they said, “You won’t have any problem upgrading.” THAT made my hair stand on end.
I built this system. I love this system. But, I have a strange relationship with electricity, and therefore with anything electrical. For the most part, we get along just fine, but there are moments… like the time I blew a 4” hole in the side of my car battery… but that’s another story…
Suffice to say I DID have problems upgrading. In fact, there came a point at which I could not boot normally, I could not boot in Last Known Good Configuration, nor could I boot in Safe Mode. Thankfully, I’ve been around this block before, and have developed a protocol of keeping all my programs on the c: drive, but all my work on my d: drive. So, I could wipe my c: drive and start clean.
This, I did.
The fun began yesterday afternoon. It has been about 36 hours, and I have a functional, updated, system. I don’t have all my programs reloaded yet, but all the essentials are here, and I’m off and running again.
Whew!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
General clean-up day today.
I stopped myself long enough to eat breakfast this morning, which is becoming imperative. I get on a “must do something” kick, and forget to eat. By the time lunch comes around, I have enough Gatorade in my system to make it think it’s full. Then, dinner arrives and I’m too tired to do more than a can of soup. Time to change my habits.
Then, I re-stacked the woodpile. I had accumulated a couple of small piles in front of the Shack that belonged with their brethren. Also, the “big pile” was too wobbly for my liking. So, I huffed and puffed and managed to restack the pile to my satisfaction without covering myself in more lichen. Yes, I’m just a bit phobic at the moment. I’ll get over it—probably when the itch goes away.
Then I tidied the Shack, scratching my head over the tool clutter in the office, and trying to formulate a plan to get it all away from the walls while leaving enough space to maneuver. I need to apply foamboard to the walls—gluing it—to mitigate the air leakage this winter. There are many areas where I can see daylight right through the walls. If I’m to be anywhere near warm this winter, that’s got to be fixed.
I managed to ooch and scoot things here and there, leaving room to open the door to the back room (where the foamboard is stored), allowing about 18 inch of space to get at the walls, and just enough open floor space that—if I shut the front door—I could lay the board out and cut it to fit.
I had the first piece fitted and was preparing to glue it when Bear arrived. We talked out a better plan. It’s time to transition the tools to the Shed for real. It IS a “tool shed” after all. I’ve got my work cut out for me.
We also discussed the “parlor”… otherwise known as my bedroom. Currently, the stove stands in the middle of the room, and its pipe runs out through the SE window. We looked up the specs for the stove online, and formed a plan to rearrange the room so that I get not only a safe stove, but a warm room. We decided it would be best—and safest—if I could open the windows in the bedroom, to provide ventilation. We also discovered it would be impossible to salvage the existing glass to create said windows.
We ran to Madison for more glue, pricing on windows (of which we ordered two), and pricing on stovepipe. We will have to order the stovepipe online.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Mother called this morning. I remain grateful for that call, as it continues to give me a marker by which to track my week. If the phone rings at 9:00 AM, I can be 99% certain today is Wednesday. LOL!
We were off the phone at about 9:45, and I was off and running.
First, the Shed attic needed tidying. I swept it out (on hands and knees), and rearranged. I moved the taller of the short shelves down to the main level, and put items on the remaining shelf—linens, pillow, etc—to get them off the floor.
Then, crunch time. There were two mattresses on the floor of the Shed. I picked up the first one and oofed and grunted until I had it muscled up the ladder to the attic. It was heavy, awkward, and tiring, but do-able. After Gatorade and a break to catch my breath, I put down furniture pads as a barrier between the mattress and the floor of the attic. Then, I tackled moving the second mattress. This one was not quite as heavy, but neither was it as cooperative. It was softer, and kept scrunching down the ladder … it wouldn’t allow me to push it! Oofing and grunting escalated to whimpering and gasping, but I succeeded! YAY ME!
Complete muscle exhaustion had me trembling for a while. The cats looked at me oddly when I tried to pet them; I imagine it felt a little strange. But, the deed was done, and the Shed was nearly ready for tools. There was a box of more furniture pads and blankets; I heaved that up the ladder, earning a protest from my left shoulder. So, I stopped to rub it down with FlexAll before trekking over to the Tent to retrieve an empty shelf unit.
It was a little sobering to realize I was rubbing down with FlexAll, and it was only 1:00. Hmmm. Gonna be a long day?
Shelf retrieved from the Tent, I banged around until I had the shelf-heights of the ½ unit from the attic, and the full unit from the Tent adjusted to my satisfaction. Then, I hauled the boxes I’d been saving from the Shack up to the Shed. I got down on hands and knees with my tape measure, straight edge and box cutter … and began cutting liners for the steel-rung shelves.
At last, I began moving tools! Back and forth, back and forth … I reflected that this was good. Very good. The movement would keep my thigh muscles from tying up after the mattress silliness. One shelf set (18 inch x 48 inch x 72 inch) filled, I readjusted in the office, moved a now-empty unit from the Shack into the Shed, and repeated the exercise: haul another box, cut more liners, move more tools. BTW, some of the tools, gardening and pruning, ended up on the shelf on the porch.
I was running out of daylight. Out came the broom, and I swept out the Shack—first the porch, then the bedroom, and finally the office.
Foamboard! Now I had to trek to the Shed to retrieve my tape measure, square, box cutter, and the tools to bang out the worst of the warps in the walls. Back and forth, back and forth… I only got one more sheet of foamboard up before giving in for the night.
I’ll bet I’m going to sleep well tonight!
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
I think it’s time to declare my poison-fungus rash GONE. All that work yesterday, and I only somewhat noticed the discomfort. Plus, it didn’t wake me up even once last night. I slept like a rock.
Yes, the body is a little sore today. I got off to a slow start … and kept going … slowly. Surprisingly, my shoulders are equally sore. My left is no more annoyed with me than the right. I guess that FlexAll yesterday was a good move. My thighs, however, are definitely tired. Thankfully, they aren’t shrieking, but neither are they bouncing to go for a run. It’s kind of an odd sensation—I can move just fine, I just can’t move quickly. I don’t even hurt per se, unless I move suddenly. Nice and slow, that’s the ticket today.
Unlike yesterday, I remembered to eat today. Amazing how that works—when I slow down.
The early afternoon was spent cutting, fitting, and gluing foamboard. Bear came by and we made a run to Madison for gasoline. With Hurricane Rita moving in, chances are the gas prices will go haywire again. Time to stock up.
Somehow, the later afternoon slipped away from me. Bear and I talked about what might be done to seal/insulate the ceiling, but I cannot recall the rest of the conversation. Too tired, I guess. He headed back to D’s, and I returned to the foamboard. I tackled the badly warped back wall of the office, which required cutting out a couple of sections of board. They simply could not be hammered back into alignment.
The project certainly slowed me down (theme for the day: SLOW), but I’m happy to say two full walls of the office are completely covered. While I’m at it, here, I might as well admit that I finished the second wall at 2:00 in the morning. I was unrecognizable under all the filth, and gloried in a moonlit shower, falling into bed around 2:30. Surprisingly, I didn’t fall asleep until near 3:00.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Yesterday, I worked offsite. Left by 9:00 AM, and returned after dark. I did make a run to Harley Davidson for a part that Bear needed to fix his motorcycle, and I stopped at Sam’s for a couple of staples. Then, it was the season finale of Stargate Atlantis and Battlestar Galactica on Sci-Fi Friday up at D’s. I got back to Avalon after midnight.
Astonishingly, it had poured while I was away, and the road was uncertain. So, I parked at the top of the hill and hiked down in the dark. Of course, I had worn my cowboy boots to town … the rocky descent turned my ankle a couple of times, and must have thrown my lower back. Ever since coming down, I’ve had a pinched nerve in my right hip that makes any kind of movement dicey.
Therefore, I stayed quiet today, working on catching up the journal entries online. At long last, I am caught up! I think I’ve been no less than a month behind all summer—often longer. It feels REALLY good to have that up to date.
I shall stretch (trying to ease this nerve problem), and get some sleep. I hope I’ll awake tomorrow with the difficulty gone.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
No luck with the pinched nerve. It is still biting at me whenever I step or turn on my right leg. So, today was another quiet one. I did some small foamboard work around the front door, trying to plug the holes, but couldn’t quite do the ladder.
I rearranged again—I seem to do a lot of that. As I apply foamboard around the room, I need access to different walls, and my next wall was behind the existing location of the fridge and microwave. Moving very slowly and carefully, I adjusted the shelf units and moved the appliances away from the NW wall by the front door.
Finally, I took some personal time on the computer. My hip was giving me grief, and the time had come to just sit for a while.
Rita moved in on us, and it started raining. As I was closing down for the night, I realized that I hadn’t checked on Bear’s trailer … sure enough, the vent was standing open. I closed it, and as I turned to go, whacked my head—hard—on the doorframe. Very hard; I almost fell to my knees. I bellowed and swore like a sailor for a moment. When I returned to the shack, my cats were under the bed. I sat down and muttered.
With my head throbbing in time to my heartbeat, I laid low. I pulled out a book I’ve been reading and, crawling into my sleeping bag, laid as still as possible, reading into the wee hours. The cats eventually forgave me for scaring them, and curled up with me.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Carla had a channeling session scheduled for yesterday afternoon, so I drove to Camelot. Her appointment did not show, so I began the bookkeeping a little early. I had a dickens of a time pulling my concentration together. Just couldn’t seem to complete this while thinking of that. Taking it gently and one item at a time, I got through it. Thankfully, it was a light week. However, I did discover I had completely forgotten to enter Jim’s daily logs and invoice his customers for the time he’d spent. Duh!
I enjoyed dinner with the L/L crew, and stayed up late with the television, watching a movie.
This morning, I had my haircut. My stylist commented on the bruise on the top of my head … about 4+ inches around. Wow. She asked, “Are you sure you don’t have a concussion?” My mouth fell open—I watched it in the mirror. That would sure explain a lot. Yes, I think I do.
After haircuts, Carla and I had our L/L planning session over lunch. Yum! Comfort food! What a treat! Upon returning to the house, I reopened the books and entered Jim’s daily logs.
I left in time to stop at the courthouse in Bedford and—finally—change the address on my driver’s license. I arrived back at Avalon around 5:00. My body did not want to cooperate, so I sat down and watched Bear defrost the refrigerator. I told him about my concussion, and he agreed I should lay low for a while. He went back to D’s, and I took a nap.
This evening, I tinkered with a CD label and jacket for a Q’uo session that Bear felt was CD-worthy.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
Sunshine! Wheeeee!
Mother called, faithful as ever, and filled me in on the news from MN. We hung up around 10:20. I microwaved my leftovers from yesterday’s lunch, and went out to sit in the sun with my meal. Ahh, simple pleasure.
I puttered in the garden most of the day … cleaning up the tomatoes, which I have been ignoring for some time now. I also planted the seedling peas that have in some cases reached almost a foot tall. They’re in the ground, now, and we’ll see what they can do before winter sets in.
I tinkered some more with the cd label and jacket, and laid low last evening. I plan to drive to MN this weekend to spend my mother’s birthday with her. I had to watch myself carefully for the afternoon—to make sure I was, in fact, well enough to drive.
About 5:30, I realized I was getting low on cat food. I called Bear and told him I was making a run into town, did he need anything? He gave me a list of things to bring from the shack, and asked me to pick him up. We went into Madison, got the cat food, got his other grocery items, and went to Ponderosa for dinner.
Tonight I feel pretty good. I’m no longer fatigued or feeling like I must lie down. In fact, I have some energy, and I’m getting better at tracking multiple conversations. This is encouraging. This was, I know, only a mild concussion. I can’t imagine how frustrating it would be to recover from a severe one. I’ve had no trouble with vision, balance, or memory—only focus and fatigue.
I will curl up with my book again tonight, grateful to have a head of nearly solid rock. LOL!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Hotaru’s Journal
More sunshine! Could this place possibly get any more beautiful? How I love autumn!
Tonight, I leave for MN. I prefer to drive at night, because the only people on the road late at night are the truckers. And, generally, truckers are the most courteous drivers on the road.
I spent the morning resting. I was up very late with my book … a terrible habit I have when I get down to the last 100 pages or so. I just have to finish!
Mother called again and we chatted for a half-hour or so. I changed the linens on the bed, so it is ready for Kathleen when she visits next week. I took out the garbage, and checked the rain gauge, which showed 1/2 inch of rain last night.
I revisited the shelving situation in the office; finished cutting the liners and got a few things moved, clearing the floor again for the first time since Saturday. Floor clear, I again tackled the foamboard around the front door … what a mess! There were gaping holes and daylight showing through most everywhere. I got it somewhat cleaned up, and discovered that I really oughtn’t continue toward the windows until Bear has had a crack (pardon the pun) at repairing them.
I hung a divider curtain—two, actually, back-to-back—in the now empty doorframe between the office and the “parlor” (my bedroom). That should help this winter when I need to be efficient with my heat. So, now the rest of my afternoon will be spent in 1) posting these latest journal entries, 2) tidying up, 3) making a CD of computer stuff for my mom, and 4) packing for my weekend.
Hmm. I should eat.
As I type this last entry, my cats are enjoying the shelf liners. They’re trotting all over the office, hopping up onto shelves and poking their noses in all the things they couldn’t previously reach. Shawnee has found a sunbeam and looks like she’ll settle for an afternoon nap.
I hope to leave about two hours from now, so I’d best get busy. I’ll be back at Avalon on Tuesday, with P again (who chose to return sooner rather than later) and my step-mom.
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