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L/L Research Transcripts

ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF THIS TRANSCRIPT: This telepathic channeling has been taken from transcriptions of the weekly study and meditation meetings of the Rock Creek Research & Development Laboratories and L/L Research. It is offered in the hope that it may be useful to you. As the Confederation entities always make a point of saying, please use your discrimination and judgment in assessing this material. If something rings true to you, fine. If something does not resonate, please leave it behind, for neither we nor those of the Confederation would wish to be a stumbling block for any.

CAVEAT: This transcript is being published by L/L Research in a not yet final form. It has, however, been edited and any obvious errors have been corrected. When it is in a final form, this caveat will be removed.

Sunday Meditation

June 25, 1989

Group question: Concerns self-esteem or self-worth. There are a lot of people in the world who, on conscious reflection of their life patterns, do not feel that they have produced enough worthwhile information, inspiration or products or service—enough things—to feel that they deserve to be on the planet, alive and living. Now do we, in the spiritual sense, look at ourselves and come away with a justified feeling of self-worth? In other words, how can you feel that you have a reason and a purpose and a value in your life? How do we measure such things spiritually?

(Carla channeling)

I greet you in the love and the light of the one infinite Creator. I am known to you as Oxal. It is a privilege to be called to this group, as we have not been for some time. This question, however lies more, shall we say, within our area than most of your queries, and we thank you that you give us this opportunity to offer our service, humble though it may be. We share the information that we have, knowing that we do not know the whole story, and hoping and encouraging each to realize also that we do not know the whole story. Therefore, we ask you to take that which is of value to you and leave the rest behind, for we would not mislead you or cause you to stumble on the spiritual path.

This instrument asks the question to which she knows the answer so well that we are very surprised we must channel to this instrument. However, we find that in this instrument the pathways which lead to tolerance of self are blocked. Therefore, we will speak in general about this blockage and about how one may estimate spiritually one’s progress towards self-esteem.

Consider the cul de sac, the dead end alley. This is what the entity which judges itself chooses. One runs into the end of oneself. The human self can never judge the human self, for that is an illusion judging an illusion, and neither your consciousness nor your behavior are in any continuum most normally but that of space/time. Self-worth is a time/space activity and a tremendous inner discipline, and we would suggest none feel cocky or confident in any way, for each of you is at the beginning of a long refining process, as if you were crude oil and the distillation was to begin and continue until the finest of oil was made.

In this density you do the big muscle movement, shall we say, of the dance of creation: you choose your partner. Shall you choose a Creator that is loving and giving, and shall you be loving and giving? Or shall you seek a Creator that is self-serving and hungry for praise, and you yourself be self-serving and hungry for praise? This is your dimension; this is your choice. This is where you make the choice. You are in the right place. Each of you has made the choice, yet still each wonders about the spiritual excellence of the self. And each judges the self as the person would never judge another. The self is always hardest upon the self, for it is privy to its stream of consciousness and very aware of what this instrument would call the clay feet.

Thus, we would suggest that none upon your planet may feel self-esteem of any height, for each is barely beginning the refinement process. At the same time, you must realize that within each is the perfect Creator-self. Each of you has taken upon himself that Creator-self, has realized that the Creator does lie within, that the answers do lie within, that the great question of “Who?” only has its answers in silence. And so each of you spends time seeking the truth, hoping for advancement and probably judging yourself harshly for mistakes which you have made over things you have not done, but could have.

It would be simple to tell each simply to release the low self-esteem, to let it go, to loosen its bonds from the personality and see it drift away, but it would not be apt, because those who are saddled with the lower opinion of themselves cannot let anything go. There is a tightness and a tension to the self-destructive attitude that is as heavy cord, binding the thought form to the self. Attempts to change the thought or to let it go mean nothing, for one is virtually tied to the concern and worry. This is to say that one cannot, in one’s human self, remove oneself from one’s self-esteem being low and instead produce a new self with good esteem, good self-worth and a sense of normalcy. The capacity of the entity which you are at this time is finite. Consequently, each seeker must realize that it cannot, of itself, esteem itself, but can only esteem itself within the Creator that is the true self.

Now, this Creator exists before it behaves, before it thinks, before it acts. The creation is made up of the Creator’s thought, the great original Thought of Love that is within each. Now each has the free will. In an immature entity it is willful and you are moved by the will as one may be moved by the tides or the wind. In others, willfulness has given way to willingness, willingness to work, to share, to love, to be a part of the good of creation. This is the basic struggle of third density, the taming of the free will, the discovery of true free will, which can be found only when one has decided completely and dedicated oneself utterly to one of the two paths and is following that path in a daily way.

Now, we have explained to you why everyone should feel low self-esteem and why all should feel quite high in self-esteem. We’ve also indicated that the progress or maturity which one attains upon the spiritual path within this density has to do with the use of will.

To will to do all things for the love of the Creator is not a very specific will. But when it is translated into practical ethics and workaday situations, one finds the Creator looking very odd sometimes—in the face of a strange woman or a peculiar man, someone who is attempting to get your attention, but who is irritating you. Or perhaps today the Christ appears in another way. Always there is that which may engage the self in selfless giving. Always there is the opportunity to be one who gives.

Now, when one who is willing to give is not able to give all because of bodily distress, as we find this instrument’s case to be, or because of any other reason for limitation, we do not find that the being of the self has changed at all, but rather that the attitude becomes self-destructive because the entity judges a self which no longer exists. And in some degree, this progress of less and less activity as one becomes older, of less and less ability to have energy to help with projects and so forth, is universal and not to be mourned, but to be investigated as any other situation. There are many useful things about a situation in which there is much time for contemplation and thought. There is the opportunity at all times to do whatever one is doing for the love of the one infinite Creator. In that adoration, in that worship, lies the light of the consciousness of your planet.

This is your basic work and this is your basic worth. When you can bring into manifestation that which vibrates in service to others, the universe is happy with you, and those who receive the bounty that you give are happy with you. But if there is no production, if there is only the being and that beingness remains joy-filled and filled with thoughts of the one infinite Creator, thoughts of love, thoughts of unity, thoughts of peace, the entity continues, then, to function fully as one whose work it is, whose mission it is, whose job it is, whose choice it is to serve others, to help lighten the planetary consciousness at this time with so many brothers and sisters which have also come from afar.

We find among your people that low self-esteem runs rampant. There is a shocking effect of the speeding up of things occurring which is characteristic of a change into fourth density. There is the polarity of the evil, shall we say, or negative and good or positive, each showing more polarity. Of course, it is those of service-to-self polarity which normally are considered newsworthy, but there are many, many more who are polarizing positively than negatively at this time. Why does each have low self-esteem? Few escape the difficulties.

We gaze upon humanity and realize how deep the illusion is with you. You see yourselves as a rather pinkish-colored, two-footed creatures, with eyes so and mouth so, and hair this, and clothes that. And that is what you think of as you. We will tell you how we see your density. We see energy fields. Some energy fields are radiant and beautiful. Some come together as yours and make a light that we cannot describe, for it is truly said when two or three are gathered together, there is much universal power.

We think, perhaps, that there is no way to escape low self-esteem, given the willfulness of the natural entity. Even the most disciplined entity will from time to time be unable to deal with the spiritual path because of exhaustion or confusion or anger or fear. And then we say to that person, remember you are not alone. You have support. You may call us angels, you may call us UFO contactees. We do not care what you call those of the inner planes who wish to help. It is enough for you to know that you are never, never without comfort if you ask for it. And if you ask for it, you shall find it—a comfort that you cannot give yourself because you are limited, but a comfort that can be given to you because the nature of the Creator is love and compassion.

If you are able in this incarnation to serve others more than half the time that you are doing something, you have succeeded, and we are not speaking of ritualized ways of aiding people, such as the job and so forth, nor are we speaking as if one could not be of service to others in solitude. But it is the person whose will has been brought so into alignment with the desire of the infinite One that those things which one has to face each day are faced, realized for the lessons that they are, and assimilated. There is seldom going to be a perfect day, shall we say, for a human entity, because each entity has biases because of willfulness in past lives. One cannot explain these biases. One is merely aware that one has somehow fallen short. Indeed, that is part of the human condition. Indeed, each has fallen short. This is an excellent lesson for each student of truth. All fall short. All fail. No entity may find the kingdom of the Father by itself or with any ease. There must be dependence upon love, a realization, a brave willingness to realize that the Creator is real, that the Creator loves and forgives and has forgiven all that is mis-done, that the Creator has no low self-esteem, but rather, work for you to do.

Thus it is that one who would remove the self-esteem look to service to others, move into those places where something needs to be done and help with a glad and merry heart, a song upon the lips and a smile upon the face. Each day it is possible for that to be the day in one’s own mind. If one meditates and centers oneself during the day, it is often possible to find a rather blissful rhythm to a period of daylight and a period of darkness.

We hope we have not confused by looking at the problem of low self-esteem from several points of view, but we simply wish to point out that it is not a simple question, and spiritually one cannot measure oneself; one can only attempt to improve the use of the will that it may desire the desire of the Creator. For the Creator has things for each entity to offer today in love and in light, as a flower its bloom, as a tree its leaves, as a house its shelter. Each of you moves through each day purposefully, you know not why. The purpose will be unknown to you until the moment it is revealed. It is the centered and canny watcher and observer that spots the opportunity for love, that finds the place to give a smile of hello or a welcome handshake, a cheery word or a pat on the back. It takes a will to serve others to bear the questions in between the lines of the questions entities ask you, that you may minister unto them according to the knowledge that is within you. All of these things are what should occupy the mind.

The judgment of the self we need not say is inappropriate to this illusion from within this illusion, for those within the illusion cannot even see that they are energy fields with consciousness. Each thinks each is solid and pink and two-legged. We ask you, how much more distorted a picture of the self could one receive? Yet, that is how you perceive and are perceived. Consequently, never judge the self, but each day groom the will to desire to seek the love and the light of the one infinite Creator, and then, if there is aught to do for the Creator that lies before you, do it with a glad and merry heart and singleness of vision for only one reason—for love. And that is your salvation.

We speak to you thusly not to keep you from being humble. We simply wish to allow you to see things as we see them. And, indeed, there is a glory to third density from those who have chosen to discipline their will to that will which is called divine will. May that be your goal in each day. And may you each cease thinking about the self. To the extent that low self-esteem even enters the mind, the mind needs to be concerned with how others are doing, what may be needed and so forth.

It has been a pleasure to speak through this instrument. We are at this time going to close through this instrument, that we may speak through the one known as Jim. We leave this instrument in love and in light. I am Oxal.

(Jim channeling)

I am Oxal, and I greet each once again in love and in light. It has been some time since we have had the opportunity to utilize this instrument and it will take some amount of adjustment in order to make our contact both comfortable and clear. We thank this instrument for offering itself in the capacity of speaking our thoughts, and we would at this time ask if we might speak to any queries which are upon the minds of those present.

Carla: Well, just the one thing that wasn’t touched on—it was my question. I felt real bad because the instrument, Jim, has to give up so much of his life in order to help me have a life. I’d just be in bed without him, I think, and it doesn’t seem right that one person should have to spend so such time with another person’s upkeep. Do you have any comments on that?

I am Oxal, and would speak to that query by reminding you, my sister, that there are those who wish to accomplish somewhat more during a lifetime than do others, and more than, shall we say, the entity may have attempted with previous incarnational patterns according to the needs both of the entity and of the entities that it wishes to serve within an incarnation. The fact that there is what you may call a norm for relationships within your culture that proceeds from the ordinary activity and range of motion upon the mundane level is not particularly good reason to assume that a pattern that deviates from that normal pattern is either better or lesser than that pattern, to be thought less of or to be embraced, for in the ultimate estimation of the entire range of possibilities available to third-density entities, the situation in which you find yourself falls only somewhat more toward limitation and intensity of experience in a certain manner than does the great majority of life patterns upon your planet.

Thus, the individual point of view is that which is of paramount importance in any situation, for each incarnational pattern will contain the challenges and the resources to meet those challenges, and each incarnational pattern will have the potential to increase the intensity of the experience if that is the desire of each entity involved. That each moves through your illusion as a function of the exercise of free will is of primary importance, for some there are that prefer one type of lesson over another, some there are who prefer greater intensity to lesser intensity. Yet each chooses freely to engage in that which it is felt will be of the most assistance in both the learning of those lessons which are placed before the entity and in the providing of services to others as a function of giving of that which has been learned. Thus, there are various ways of operating within your illusion, of moving the self along the evolutionary path, and each is quite capable of allowing the seeker to explore those realms which it desires.

We recommend that each look at the situation that comprises the life pattern, and if there are areas which do not please the discerning eye, then we would recommend that these areas be investigated even more closely with an eye that sees with a somewhat different focus, looking for that which has not previously been found, the opportunities which lie waiting, waiting for the careful gaze of the patient seeker.

Opportunities abound, my sister. Where there is limitation and discomfort, yet do opportunities abound if one is able to look upon the life pattern with the discerning eye which does not allow itself to be confused by comparison to that which is more normal or ordinary within the daily round of activities for many of your peoples.

Before asking for a further query, we shall pause in order that this instrument might tend to its recording devices. We shall pause at this time. I am Oxal.

(Side one of tape ends.)

(Jim channeling)

I am Oxal, and am again with this instrument. Is there another query at this time?

Carla: In The Ra Material, some people are spoken of as coming from outside the solar system, coming from Deneb. Do they have a different set of archetypes? Do they have an archetypical mind that is different from the archetypical mind of this particular star system?

I am Oxal, and we consider your query, my sister. Those whose origin is of the Deneb system, as those whose origin is from any system outside of your own, will of necessity bring with them the archetypical resonances of their own system, which is enough different from your own that there is of necessity a blending of certain facets or features within the deep mind, so that there might be the continuation of the spiritual journey that calls upon these deep resonances in an harmonious fashion. Thus, all those who have joined your third-density experience from those solar systems outside of your own add to the richness of your own archetypical system, which may be seen as a kind of a blueprint or structure of evolution that provides resources for the enhancing of the use of catalyst within your illusion.

There may be some confusion for those who pursue the study of the archetypical mind in a specific and quite conscious sense when attempting to grasp qualities that may seem alien. However, when most of your entities engage themselves in the study of this portion of the deep mind, there is that quality of awe and wonder that easily accepts that which seems foreign within the realm of the personal experience in order that it might enrich that experience, for when the deep mind is explored in a conscious fashion, there is always the feeling that this is not only holy ground, but ground which the self in its smaller sense is walking for the first sense. Therefore, the additions of exterior, shall we say, archetypical influences offers less of a difficulty than it offers greater richness.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Carla: Well, the reason that I asked that question was because I had been praying for peace in China—not military peace, that has happened—but a democratic peace that didn’t happen. And I’d like to continue praying for it, but I was thinking perhaps I was sort of holding up hope that somehow it would work out, that China would make it, and so I was sort of using that archetype as we know it from the Tarot that we studied with The Ra Material. But I wondered if there was a useful difference that I could add to my visualization that would make it more powerful to that other archetypical system of imagery, so that my prayers would be mate to them, to their aid.

I am Oxal, and your query is a thoughtful one. However, we feel that at your current level of development, shall we say, it is the sending of the love and the light in the general form, the simple vibrations and intentions for harmony and peace within the heart, that may with hopefulness be sent, and it then be realized that as all healing vibrations, these shall be used and be translated, shall we say, in a most general sense by those to whom they are sent.

The ambiance, shall we say, of the inner planes as they are related to this particular culture is enhanced so that there is a greater feeling of goodness, shall we say, of nurturing, of support that may be drawn upon by those which have distortions or biases in this direction. Thus inspired, these receiving such vibrations will then allow the resonance of these vibrations to influence the life pattern to some degree. All of this, of course, operates upon the most basic and general of levels of spiritual existence, thus enhancing the mundane life pattern which grows from that foundation.

Is there another query, my sister?

Carla: No, thank you, Oxal.

I am Oxal, and thank you, my sister Is there another query at this time?

(Pause)

I am Oxal, and would take this opportunity to express our great gratitude at having the rare opportunity to address this particular group. It has been a great portion of your time since we were able to speak through this group. We are most appreciative. We hope that our words have been of some small assistance, and we hope that you will disregard those which have not. We await your further calls with joy and the desire to answer such calls with that which we have found helpful upon our own journeys of seeking. At this time we shall leave this group. We are known to you as those of Oxal. Adonai, my friends.

  Skip Navigation LinksL/L Research Library Transcripts - Table of Contents 1989 June 25, 1989

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