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L/L Research Transcripts

ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF THIS TRANSCRIPT: This telepathic channeling has been taken from transcriptions of the weekly study and meditation meetings of the Rock Creek Research & Development Laboratories and L/L Research. It is offered in the hope that it may be useful to you. As the Confederation entities always make a point of saying, please use your discrimination and judgment in assessing this material. If something rings true to you, fine. If something does not resonate, please leave it behind, for neither we nor those of the Confederation would wish to be a stumbling block for any.

Sunday Meditation

May 13, 1990

Group question: The question this evening has to do with the concept of the division of the Creator into many, many portions, each of which seems to become an entity, or a person such as we are, and we were wondering at what point in the evolutionary process does each portion of the Creator become unique, and how does this differentiation, one portion from another in order that each becomes unique, occur? Where does it occur, how does it occur, and when we’re in this third density and we have this quality of uniqueness added to by the experiences that we have through each incarnation, when we die is there something of this Earth plane that we take with us that becomes part of that risen body that goes on in evolution? What do we retain, what do we leave behind? What is the core nature of our being?

(Carla channeling)

I am Q’uo. My beloved ones, I greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. There are no words to express our joy at sharing this circle of meditation and seeking, at sharing so intimately the beauty of each consciousness, of experiencing the trust you have in each other and in the Creator. We shall do our best to speak through this instrument in such a way that no part of that trust, that love or that call to us is in any way harmed, but as always, we ask you to remember that we are your brothers and sisters, and we come to you because we sorrow at your sorrow, and we yearn to soothe the ache of unanswered questions that you have.

As to the truth of your being, you must know that we are liable to error and quite capable of being mistaken. We are not other than you, but only more experienced. Our love is the one love. Our Creator is the one Creator. But what we have we share, as it is our service to you that enables us to grow, as any teacher may tell you. In teaching, it is the teacher who learns, far more than the student. And so, we who are hoping to be of service to you, know, paradoxically, that you are already of inestimable service to us, and if there could be one light that held us all that you could see, that would be the physical manifestation of reality of the situation within your circle and its contact with us at this time. We are one with you. We love you, and all of us love and serve the Creator, and seek the truth.

Your question this evening will stretch this instrument’s vocabulary, for she does not have conscious knowledge of mathematics or of physics, but in some ways this is good, because those to whom we speak do not have those languages either, and perhaps it is better that we lose some accuracy in being more understandable in that which we have to share. You ask this evening about your selves at a level deeper than most ever consider. You ask about the most fundamental uniqueness, the uniqueness that is your essence, not the uniqueness that learns, or does not learn, not the uniqueness that lives and is biased, not the uniqueness that you experience as personalities, but the imperishable uniqueness of you who were before time and space.

We ask you to consider with us an impossible-seeming concept. This is not your first creation, nor will it be your last. You are the first children of the one infinite Creator, created before time and space. You are timeless, you are spaceless, and you are each unique. We are aware that this is not an easy concept to grasp. Where is the memory of all this creation? Where is the buried treasure of this infinite beingness? Where is any awareness whatsoever of this situation? You are not aware of this situation in the same way that you are not aware of the energy fields of your body, of each atom and its paths of energy that hold it together in a field, of each combination of atoms into molecules, of all the fields that interact with each other to form the complex of your physical vehicle, of all the time/space fields of energy that create your mind in such and such a way. Have you any awareness of all this activity? No, my friends, you have not. It is not your business. It is not your purpose.

It is not necessary for you to conceive of yourself in mathematical terms, but to explain your uniqueness using this faulty instrument—and making apologies for lack of specificity of terms—we ask you to move away from all concept, all beingness, all idea, all structure, all awareness, all consciousness, and move back into the unaware, infinite intelligence of the one infinite Creator, whose nature is absolute love. This is an impossible concept to ideate, and we ask that you switch off the brain that ratiocinates, and move into your artistic, feeling being, and feel the unawareness, the everlastingness, the infinity of the utterly passive, unconscious, intelligent infinity. It is only by moving to this state that you may grasp your uniqueness.

The first distortion or change from utter passivity of love, love dwelling without thought, without beingness, is what you may call free will. As love is absolute passivity, free will is absolutely various activity. As love never changes, free will always changes. If you can conceive of free will by considering the wind, you know that you cannot predict, influence or have any impact whatsoever on whether the wind shall blow, nor does absolute love have any power, nor does it desire to have any power, over free will.

Now, absolute love may be seen in your system of physics as that which you call the speed of light. This is incorrect information, but it is as close as we can come to demonstrating the absolute constancy of love. It does not demonstrate the passion, the intensity of this love, but merely its constancy. Love cannot change. Love is what is. Love is beingness before beingness begins. This love has a small portion of its infinity, which is in itself an infinity.

Again, there are calculations we could give you—but not through this instrument—indicating that there is an apparent difference, but no true difference, betwixt love as intelligent infinity, and love which has decided to know itself. The first distortion of love is in itself an absolute equal to love, but at the same time subject to a different system of mathematics in which the energy of that which is free will being absolutely various falls away—as love does not—with distance from fields of energy which are created by the joining of love and free will. The Creator wished and wishes and will always wish in that infinitely small portion of its infinite self that is active, to manifest love, to love and feel the self of love in action.

And so it created its children, children of love and free will, one unit of absolute love that can never change and will never be unique, and [an] absolutely equal portion of infinitely various free will. That is your nature. Your uniqueness lies not in that you are children of love, but in that no two unions of love and free will are the same. To the outer, or mathematical eye, to any measuring instrumentation that could be imagined, this uniqueness could not be discerned, for free will, when bonded with love, takes upon itself the quality of love. The free will portion of it, the active portion of it, is forever, and in a way that mathematics cannot describe, various. Each of you has an absolutely equal, identical portion of love, and each of you has an equal and unique measure of free will. These differences cannot be used either in time/space as you know it or in space/time as you know it, for you are timeless beings.

You are the children of love before there was a context for you. You have been in many contexts, and each of you has shared many gross congruencies. You have been formed in time/space and in space/time in what seems to be identical fields of love/light or what you call electromagnetic fields. You have taken, not consciously, but by the very nature of this bonding, the rotations that form light, each of you being thus, first of all, light, and have gone from that first manifestation of beingness to more and more complex rotations and combinations of rotations and grades of rotation to form every field that has ever been examined by those who study such things empirically.

In the scientific world, therefore, it cannot be said in any scientifically provable way that one entity differs from another. It can be shown that some fields of some entities vary. It can also be shown that many of what you would call the cosmic fields of energy have anomalistic variations. Scientists cannot deal with anomalies, for they are not predictable. Thus, if you accept a scientific explanation of who you are, that you are this and this and this, a body, a mind, a spirit, organs working in a certain way, brain working in a certain way, and so forth, you shall never be able to describe how to know, how to feel, that of you which is unique.

There are gross uniquenesses, such as personality. You are well aware that these are a portion of the illusion in which you find yourself, but this is not your true uniqueness, my friends. Your true uniqueness is that each of you is free in a different way. You know, those of you who have had children, that no two children are alike, that each child moves into life with the personality biases strongly set. Each parent is aware that it can do nothing more than guide the arrow which has already been made. It is not the Creator which caused these unique children to be unique; it is the free will which was the creator of the children of the Creator.

Now, we have said that the difference between love and free will is based upon the fact that, though absolute in its variation, love will, in a time immeasurable to yourselves, lose energy, and gradually, as the end of a creation approaches, begin to leave—not in the sense of departure, but in the sense of strength of field energy—that which is you, so that eventually, at the end of a creation—and you know we speak of millions and billions of years—eventually [Love] calls to love in such a way that your uniqueness becomes a latent portion of love, and you are drawn wondrously, effortlessly, magnetically, and in a way which this instrument cannot describe, but which has to do with field theory, back into the great gravitation of Love. Love has taken a breath, has expelled from the Self love, and has breathed back into Itself love, but that which is free will has given to this absolute Love more and more experience of itself, because each child is unique in its core beingness, in its mathematical description, and as we say, there is no mathematics, even did this child know that language, which could express the kind of field which caused free will, or which bonded free will to love.

We shall have to ask you to accept that these things are so, that they are not mysterious to one who is capable of, not only unified field physics, but that physics which is of time/space. Thusly, we bow to the impossibility of explanation at this point, and ask that you trust that we have some little understanding of the creation physics of each field which is you. We can only say that as free will is infinitely various, so the children of love and free will are infinitely various in their expression of that which is absolutely identical in each. You are unique to the core of your being. You are mathematically unique. You are unique in ways that have nothing to do with opinion, or understanding, or any way of describing time or space.

Now, we are aware that we are taking much time, but we shall attempt to go forward with other questions having to do with uniqueness, and apologize if we speak too long. We shall attempt to be as brief as we can, knowing that all of you laugh inside at our foolish words, as does this instrument.

In all compassion, gaze upon your imperishable, infinite selves. How many, many choices, learnings, adventures, cruelties, forgivenesses and experiences of all kinds have each of you had. Not one of you will react as any other one of you to the same stimulus, and why? Because everything concerning your time/space beingness and your space/time beingnesses is based upon that which is unique in you. It may be immeasurable, it may be subtle, but you cannot be the same as another, as free will cannot be the same as itself. It is free. You are free. Yet you are free to do one thing only: to distort, to play, to experience, and to learn about love, that portion of yourself which you all do indeed have in absolute common.

Now we ask you to narrow your focus unimaginably. Let the infinity of illusions and creations and billions and billions of galaxies and stars and atoms and fields of energy fly from your mind. They are illusions which follow certain rules. We wish now to narrow your focus to that which you bring into this incarnation and that which you leave behind. You bring into this incarnation an inexorable difference from all else in the universe. When you were a rock you were an unique rock, and people who are sensitive to these things will tell you that there is a consciousness—and not the same consciousness, but various consciousnesses—in rocks. It is not strong enough yet to be obvious, but it is there. Your movement through these densities of experience until this third density of choice is the movement of the awakening of the free-will faculty.

You are now, at this moment, aware that you are children of love, and that you are children of complete freedom of choice. What many are not aware of is that all things that can be imagined, be they dark or light, are distortions of love. The only thing about which you may choose is love. It is often unrecognizable, so clever are you at distorting it, but your choices have to do with love, and in this density it has been created that this imperishable self that will go through this entire very, very long, to you, creation, make a choice within the illusion with such force, such willingness, such a surrender of absolute freedom of will, that you bond your free will in a general way, either to learning and expressing love by loving all that there is, yourself, love itself and all children of love, or choosing to deny that any but you is unique, that you are the center of the universe, that you are to be loved.

And you are loved. This is not an error, it is simple free-will choice. They say that the Creator has made it easier to follow the path of service to others, because it is a path that contains more truth, and that which is truth is that which will smooth your way. Those who deny that others are like the self are those who are depending very heavily upon free will, not depending upon love, and therefore depending on that field, or way of making a part of a field, which will in time become weaker, and finally will not be strong enough to fool the self that is aware into believing that only the self is love. It becomes apparent, in what you would call the sixth density, that all beings are love, and if you love yourself, which negative entities are excellent at doing, then so, against all previous understanding, must you love all that is as you are.

The courage that it takes, in this heavy illusion, when free will is at its strongest, to take that free will, and in the middle of the night with no light to guide you but the moon, working in shadow, working by faith, working without vocabulary or understanding, choose to discipline the free will, which is the great triumph, the great challenge, of entities who are experiencing their free will at its very strongest, to choose to discipline that will in such a way that it becomes not willfulness which is eternally various, but willingness, a will to do that which is chosen: this is the greatest and most courageous step an entity can take in this illusion, for it goes against all sense data. It is only one who trusts love, by faith alone, that asks the will to choose to will the good—if we may use that word—the radiant, the positive, the caring, to choose to emphasize those things about each which are the same, and that is love.

It takes an equal amount of courage to become so self-involved that a choice is made to ignore any truth but that which the self has chosen for itself, and thus disciplines the will to ignore all incoming data, to focus only on gaining power and an intensity of love for the self which is, by definition, a love of the Creator. That others are like itself is simply denied, and understandably so from the point of view of the negative entity. The negative entity is one whose free will is of a certain quirk, shall we say, that makes it seem obvious that the differences are greater than the similarities, and that love owes to love, the self owes to self, the aggrandizement of the self into the nature of the Creator, love itself.

This is seen by those who are neutral or working positively, as negative, because the negative entity will of course arrange, control and create its universe [in the way] which is most comfortable and advantageous to it. It does, however, have its own logic, and should never be treated with disrespect, but with the understanding that there are those whose uniqueness creates for them a free will which seems to be more paramount than the love that binds one to another. There is no less worship, there is no less sanctity in the negative than in the positive. It is simply a different distortion of the one love.

When you drop behind the tattered physical vehicle that has served you so well in this illusion, you will discover that you enter this illusion hoping and praying that you would choose, and choose with the utmost purity of which you are capable, one side or the other, because evolution calls in a way that has been spoken of by your scientists. Evolution [in the physical sense] is not incorrect, but incomplete. Spiritual evolution goes on, and on, and on, and the call to evolve is always there. Consequently, as you experience the many challenges and difficulties at this time, know that you put yourself where you are, that you may more and more passionately and purely choose the way you shall love.

We ourselves are those who have chosen the positive path, and we speak to those who have chosen the positive path. We encourage you never to be downhearted, but to pick yourselves up after every failure, knowing that this is part of the illusion, to move in rhythm with the varieties of your experience, looking for ways to learn how to love. You are not in your preincarnative state, incarnated in this density to be loved, to be understood, to be consoled, to be companioned, to be happy. These are goals within the illusion. The goal that will stay with you after your physical death, if you have chosen with purity, determination, persistence and will, is your path of service. That is not perishable, for it is a bias that is deeper than your personality with which you carry on existence within this illusion.

We believe that we have made a beginning at an understanding of the nature of your uniqueness, and are aware of the lack of specificity of some of our speech due to this instrument’s lack of knowledge. We do not apologize, however, for as we said, we speak to those who need to be able to understand with their hearts, and not with their measuring devices or their scientific instruments. We thank this instrument for handling concepts that were new and foreign, and we appreciate the concentration that this instrument gave to us, which did make a fairly difficult subject somewhat clearer than it could have been. Shrugging with the knowledge that we have spoken incompletely, as was inevitable with this instrument, we would wish to move on to the instrument known as Jim. We are those of the principle, Q’uo, and we leave this instrument in the love and the light of the infinite One.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and light. At this time we would offer ourselves to any further queries that may be of service to those present. Is there a query at this time?

S: Yes, Q’uo. When one seeks spiritually, one needs to learn discipline, and in learning discipline, it sometimes seems that we learn a kind of power over our own personality. My understanding, though, of the difference between the positive and the negative path, has very much to do with power. I wonder if you can speak to the question of the different ways of seeking, some having to do with power, and being what I understand to be occult ways of seeking, others having to do with powerlessness, and being of a more mystical variety. Does discipline involve power over oneself?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. (Inaudible) discipline of which you speak, for whatever purpose used, is a discipline over that focus of energy which you call love, much as a hose with the nozzle focuses water that it moves in a specific and particular fashion, able to do work of a physical [nature]. The discipline that you exercise when you focus your desire and the energy of love that is yours may be used for whatever purpose, be that purpose to master the personality, to control events or entities, to seek more knowledge of the mystery of creation, or simply to seek union with the One, that whatever may flow from that union may flow through you, as you are a hollowed vessel that has given itself in service to the One, that each of its portions with which you come in contact might be blessed and benefited. Thus, discipline is a tool as any other that may be used for whatever purpose is chosen.

Is there a further query, my brother?

S: Yes, my understanding is that in our seeking we reach plateaus, where we dwell sometimes, and then push ahead, and this constitutes a kind of stage, a procedure in stages. Are these stages marked off by what is called initiation—can you tell me something about the nature of initiation?

I am Q’uo, and we shall speak but briefly upon this topic, for it is one which deserves a far greater amount of time and effort than we feel is left within this group this evening. It is true that there are cycles or stages in the journey of union that are likened unto transformations of the entity from quality to quality as that which is heavier and more grossly constructed within the personality is refined and burned away, shall we say, by the fires of experience, so that that which remains is burnished and bright and serves as an honestation for the Creator.

There are various stages that an entity will be available to pass through during an incarnation that are determined before the incarnation as general categories in which lessons shall be attempted. As an entity assesses the upcoming, shall we say, incarnation and the potentials for growth that it wishes to include it will survey the kind of transformations, or initiations, as they are often called, that will be necessary to undergo as a portion of the learning process, much as a student within your colleges would determine what courses of mathematics would be necessary in order to master that particular field of study.

There are also times during the incarnational experience that what you may call a plateau of another nature is reached, this being determined by the entity’s overall needs for some respite from the arduous journey. All journeys at some time tend to fatigue the pilgrim, for there are those times during which the steps are taken in directions that were not planned, that necessitate more expenditure of energy in order to learn the lessons of those steps than is readily available on a constant basis to the seeker. These plateaus are more obvious than are those initiations or transformations of which we had spoken previously. These, the initiations and transformations, more frequently occur in an unseen or unrecognized manner where the entity is totally immersed in some quality or distorted quality of its being as balance is attempted and attempted again and again until the transformation is complete.

Looking back upon the incarnation one may see times of difficulty and intensity as more likely having been the experience of such a time of transformation, during which time the entity may well have felt that there was no progress being made, and that indeed it would seem to the entity that it even moved backwards. The testing, as it were, however, transforms, and a new being moves forward.

Is there a further query, my brother?

S: Yes. It seems to me that these transformations are less than unique to each individual, having to do with the course in evolution that individual has been upon. Still, when it comes to the very difficult business of balancing, one looks for help where one can find it. Is there something that you can say about this help that is available to those of us who are seeking these transformations, and balancing and (inaudible)?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. No one walks alone. This is important to recognize. As alone as one may feel in the most difficult experiences, there is always aid that is available, especially to the entity who seeks in a fervent manner using those rituals that you may call prayer or invocation, or in the sincere and heartfelt pleading that comes from that place deep within where the personality retreats when it has been stretched to and beyond, it would seem, its limits.

Each entity has at its beck and call, as it were, teachers, friends, guides and the force of light imbued with love, that move to support and inspire the entity through dreams, meditation and the presenting of the appropriate person, book, program or experience at the appropriate time within this process of learning. Thus, the entity that perseveres beyond all hope of success and who seeks ardently that assistance from within, shall move most efficaciously through whatever difficulty surrounds the process of learning which carries the entity on to a new plateau of beingness.

Is there a further query, my brother?

S: No, thank you very much.

I am Q’uo, and we thank you, my brother. Is there another query?

Carla: I’d like to follow up personally on what S said at the beginning. It has been my perhaps mistaken presumption that whether you seek positively or negatively you gain the same amount of power over yourself, it’s just that you use it differently. I didn’t exactly hear that, and S was talking about powerlessness. I realize that it feels like powerlessness to surrender to a self that you only know that you are by faith, because you can’t feel it, but it seems to me that you are still very powerful, but it’s only that you are dedicating your power to the will of the self that you carry within a deeper part of yourself. So, the apparent powerlessness is instead, by faith and will, a force with greater power than you could by yourself consciously ever have. This is my understanding. Could you correct it?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. It is well stated that the greater power is that which comes through the entity rather than that which comes from the entity, for one is infinite, and the other finite. To surrender one’s will to a greater power is to open a door through which the power of the universe may move in a more or less undistorted fashion.

Each entity, during the daily round of activities and the manner in which it expends its energy through various rituals and dedications, is given a certain amount of energy that powers the activity. The entity that attempts to harness this energy, for whatever purpose, harnesses that which, in effect, has a limit. To use this energy to surrender, as you have spoken, in faith to the greater power of the One is to offer an energy in service that far exceeds that which is the daily gift, shall we say.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Carla: Yes, but you don’t have to answer it, it just may be too much. A friend of mine is going through an extremely painful period because she is full of faith, but she is going to the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and the board, which is so conservative, is saying you must believe this and this and this or you do not have faith. It is something that I’ve told her, and I’ve told many people, that belief is antithetical to faith, that you can’t give up your power of discernment to anything that is personalized, not even something that is called God, if you have to believe this and this, and everything else is wrong, because faith is faith without an object such as (inaudible) and love and things being all right.

Have I served my friend well by speaking to her in this way, or could I speak with her better?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. We feel that your words have wisdom in them, and would not alter them, for the tendency towards beliefs is a tendency towards narrowing the opening of the door that we have spoken of before, and thus is also that which tends to reduce the ability to apprehend and to receive the blessings of love.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Carla: No Q’uo, you have given me a tremendous sense of relief with that answer, thank you very much.

I am Q’uo, and again we thank you, my sister. Is there another query at this time?


I am Q’uo, and we are most grateful to have been invited this evening to this circle of seeking, for it is one in which we have had the opportunity of greeting many old and dear friends, and we thank each for the love that has been offered to us, and for the opportunity of returning that love to each. We bless each upon the journey which we all share. We shall take our leave of this instrument and this circle at this time. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. We leave each in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.

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