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L/L Research Transcripts

ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF THIS TRANSCRIPT: This telepathic channeling has been taken from transcriptions of the weekly study and meditation meetings of the Rock Creek Research & Development Laboratories and L/L Research. It is offered in the hope that it may be useful to you. As the Confederation entities always make a point of saying, please use your discrimination and judgment in assessing this material. If something rings true to you, fine. If something does not resonate, please leave it behind, for neither we nor those of the Confederation would wish to be a stumbling block for any.

CAVEAT: This transcript is being published by L/L Research in a not yet final form. It has, however, been edited and any obvious errors have been corrected. When it is in a final form, this caveat will be removed.

Sunday Meditation

September 30, 1990

Group question: The question this evening has to do with why is it so difficult when we have ideals that we believe in: that God is love, that all are One, and different interpretations of how we would treat people using these ideals. Why is it so difficult to keep that ideal foremost in our mind? Why do we find ourselves slipping and having negatively oriented thoughts, talking to ourselves and others in negative terms, rather than living up to those ideals which we cherish?

(Carla channeling)

I am Q’uo. Greetings to each of you in the love and the light of the one infinite Creator. It is such a pleasure to share this meditation with you. We cannot express the joy it gives us to welcome those who are not new to this group and those who are new, especially the one known as S, the one known as B. We bless each, send love to each, and thank each for calling us to share our fallible opinions with you. We do not, in any way, shape or form, declare ourselves to be infallible, and ask you please to use your discrimination in listening not only to our words, but to all words, for the truth you shall recognize as though you remembered it, and it shall resonate within your being. That is your truth. Other truths may be other people’s truths, but they are not yours. So let them not be a stumbling block in your life, but be straightforward, and to the best of your best ability work upon your own path, and your own truth.

And that is what we shall speak of this evening, for you ask us to speak about how it is that a pilgrim may know to a nicety the various names appropriate to a situation, yet be quite unable to halt the self from speaking amiss or acting inappropriately according to subjectively perceived rules of conduct. We shall have to do some groundwork first, so please excuse us if we seem to be a bit off the subject; we simply must move into it from a larger viewpoint than one life, one will or one circumstance.

Each of you is quite familiar with the fact that the Creator was generous and brave and foolhardy enough to give to His own creation free will. Each of you, and each of us, are the creations and the children of the Father, and as the Creator has its nurturing side, the Father/Mother perhaps would be a way more appropriate, to your species, to speak of infinite intelligence. In truth, the Creator is Love Itself, which is father, and mother, and all.

Now, each of you is created of this love. Consequently, there has never been an unworthy spirit incarnate upon this planet which you now enjoy, for through all behaviors the birthright of your creation remains, as it must, precisely the same. That which is of love does not change, go away, or run out. You were love when you were created, before all that you see of the cosmos. You are love now, in the midst of this heavy illusion, and you always shall be love, until at last you return to Love Itself, and become truly one once more with the source, the alpha and the omega of all that there is.

There is, however, another portion to your being. It was impossible to create a manifestation out of love, for there is no motivation, ambition or curiosity in love. There is, however, in the first distortion of love, which is free will. By the use of free will the Creator chose to allow a small portion of its infinity, if this non-concept may suffice, to fly apart in sparks of love. Free will was bonded to each spark, free will being as absolute as love, and its antithesis; that is, free will is never the same, while love is always the same.

So, that creature which you are is quite often confused with being a single being, but is actually made up of all that your consciousness is plus all that the physical vehicle is (which you think of as yourself but which is in actuality a highly developed second-density animal). This instinctually perfect entity agreed, before it was given this life, to be the physical vehicle which carries you about, which gathers data from all of its senses, and which makes available to your consciousness the biocomputer which is your mind. To that animal, that body, that vehicle, all thanks and praise should be given always, for its sacrifice has been complete, its instinctual behavior bowing always to the will that has learned, and that accepts, allows and loves each characteristic of that physical vehicle.

Thus, perhaps the first way of gazing at your conscious behavior that so often is not what you wish it would or could be, [is to realize that] you well may be gazing at instinctual reactions which occur faster than your mind is able to respond. In no way, when this occurs, should the physical vehicle be blamed. In no way should the mind and the spirit governing this vehicle be dismayed or discouraged. There are times in this extremely dense illusion when the survival instinct of your physical vehicle will take over, simply because the computer of your mind keeps the entity alive as a first priority. It is not your spirit that wishes your life to linger, it is your body.

The second and very common reason, or cluster of reasons, which keep the spirit from moving only from its center, is the emotional, mental and spiritual distortion of self-worth that you may call low self-worth or low self-esteem. Blessed and well planned are the lives of those entities whose childhoods did not leave one with an inner conviction of low self-worth. All the more blessed they because they are rare among your peoples. All of you have baggage of which you must let go. Why is this so? Why should you let these things go? Why is your opinion not respected by yourself? Even if it is negative, after all, is it not what you think? The answer to that is much too complex to receive either a yes or a no. The voices which echo in the mind may echo from many, many decades ago, from early childhood, from early traumatic time in which many, many negative signals were given to your spirit, either by yourself or others. Those who are seeking in the service-to-self path do not have the problem which you have, for they of course would refuse any guilt, or any judgment of the self as being less than perfectly worthy. It is the entity who desires to be the humble servant of all mankind that most finds itself trapped by its own feelings of inadequacy.

There are several things one may do to work upon this challenge. First of all is the daily meditative period. We suggest at least a few minutes of meditation each day. We do not advise long meditations, except for those who meditate all the time, and are aware of how much power there is in the silent, listening meditation. Rather, we recommend approximately fifteen minutes. We also recommend that mated couples attempt to do this together, as meditation brings change, and it is well that each understand the other’s discomfort as the change occurs. Change is always painful. Thus, to the pilgrim we offer love, it is true, but discomfort, dustiness, feelings of aloneness, and all that goes with doing that which is seldom attempted within your society, and almost never understood. That is your first great resource.

The second great resource is your own observational powers; this instrument would call it paying attention. We do not mean to say that you should pay attention to other people’s foibles, or to the right and wrong of argument, but rather we ask you to pay attention to your own consciousness. We encourage you to be truly self-conscious, to know the exact thing that was the catalyst for your moving away from the center of love and light. It can be an excess of happiness, or an excess or despair, doubt, disbelief, dislike, the feeling that darkness lies all about you and you do not know where to turn. These dark nights of the soul, as they have been called, are very much a part of the path of the pilgrim, and it is difficult at those times to see that one has ever made one iota of progress. Never, ever judge yourself or others.

At the end, however, of each day, as you have been paying attention, without judgment, to those things which move you, especially to those things which have made you uncomfortable and might be a stumbling block in your ability to deal as you wish with others, we suggest, at the end of each day, the consideration, either intellectual, for those who have strong analytical powers, or by feeling them again, for those of you who depend mostly upon your hearts for decisions. As those are by far the majority among those who seek spiritually, we will simply say that which this instrument is already aware of from the Law of One material, that is, that the emotion which was deemed inappropriately off center and negative by the pilgrim be allowed to exist again, to be affirmed by you as being completely acceptable. Let it, in fact, become as sharp and dramatic as it will be, allowing the energy within that to express itself. As you are forgiving yourself, then, as you sit in meditation, allowing this feeling to wash over you, gradually notice that that feeling is receding as a wave, and in its place comes its opposite, the other side of its coin, the antithesis or its thesis.

So, if you have experienced anger, and intensified it, and forgiven yourself for that feeling, you spontaneously begin to feel forgiveness, and caring. Prayers may be said for the one who has acted in a way you would describe as hateful, and all is forgiven, the other self, your self, and the transaction between the two of you.

You have often called these times failures, and berated yourself because of them. But do you not see that you must make the mistakes, you must err, and be bold about it, be yourself, in order to learn who you are, to find where those soft and sensitive areas are that cause you to move away from your center? You must go through the process of knowing yourself, truly, truly knowing yourself, for in your life lies the universe, the creation and the Creator, in a part of you so deep that it is not within this illusion for you to penetrate that portion of your informational store with any ease whatsoever. The veil hides it completely, and that is why meditation is so helpful, as it makes that veil between conscious and subconscious more and more semi-permeable.

When you have done these two things for a while you will discover that you have tucked away in a corner of your heart a brown paper bag, unmarked, crumpled up and shoved as far back as possible, out of sight, but never out of mind, for the true mind as you know lies in the heart. Within this paper bag lives all the things that you have said about yourself. How do you come to be able to say about yourself such negative, negative things? Do you not know that thoughts are objects in the world very close to your own? Do you not know the weakening effect that these negative sentences told to the self by the self have upon you, upon your self image?

When you hear yourself saying that about yourself which could be construed by yourself as negative, simply speak again, and place yourself in some positive perspective, for this illusion is not a place where perceptions are objective. You may perceive your universe as you wish. All things are your choice. You are never imprisoned in your mind unless you take yourself into slavery. No one can do it to you. No one.

So we ask that you think of yourself—this entity has a bit of difficulty with this concept, but we shall move ahead—to think of yourself as an employee to which you are the boss. Evaluate your behavior towards yourself. Have you been a good boss today? Have you been kind to yourself? Have you loved yourself? As you worship the Creator, have you loved yourself enough to give the gift of yourself in complete surrender to the will of the infinite One, knowing that it is truly your will also? Perhaps you have not, and if you have not, it is undoubtedly due to the fact that a state of forgiveness does not exist between your self and your self.

The reason that we are being so insistent in talking about being able to do that which you wish to do, in speaking of loving and forgiving yourself, is laid out very simply by the teacher known to you as Jesus the Christ, who said that the new covenant was to love the Creator with all one’s faculties, with the uttermost passion possible, and to love the neighbor as the self. Loving the Creator is often difficult not to do, in our opinion. On a sunny day, can anyone decry the Maker of such beauty?

When one is familiar at last with the concept that the Creator loved us first, is it any wonder that our instinct is to love back and to wish to serve, as children always would their parent? But in order to love others, which is the service-to-others path, one must first love the self, for one can love others only insofar as one has learned to love the self. We are not speaking of a narcissistic love which demands an echo, a pat on the back, a recognition, a thank you, or a noticing of any kind for any other entity which walks your sphere.

If you love others as you love yourself, and you love yourself, then your point of view shall be enough changed that you will surprise yourself, because you will find that you have, in the difficult times of hollowing the self out to be a channel of this love, become able to shine with an infinite love that reaches and touches people. They do not need to know the rationales of love, they only need to know that they are loved. It is the greatest feeling in the universe.

And as for each of you, you did not come here to be loved; you came here to love. Much blockage and distortion of communication betwixt peoples, especially mated people or people intimate in their friendship, is that each has expectations of the other. We strongly suggest that love be conceived of as that which supports, that which puts the other before the self, that which is loyal, that which does its very best. And if that very best fails, then it fails, with the love intact. And if compassion is learned in the failing, were you never to make the pushing of the envelope turn into the breaking of the envelope, were you never to suffer from having done your best and failed, in other words, you would never have the kind of compassion for others that you do after such an experience, for you know you have tried your best, and you know that when you reach your limits and go beyond them, it will seem a failure, and in an outer sense, of course it is. But in the inner sense, if you intended with love to do all that you could, absolutely all, holding nothing back, then metaphysically speaking you have acted as one who runs the straight race.

Again we say to you, never condemn or judge yourself, for you know that you have been redeemed, you know that you are in a state of grace. You do not need to keep telling yourself of your poor habits. You do not need to be hag-ridden by a conscience that looks for ways to criticize you. What you are looking for is not that entity who ruthlessly shoves below the level of consciousness all that is not positive. We do not even suggest that you attempt to control your moods. We suggest going through the process, the painful learning process, and discovering how you are programmed, in other words, who you are in this illusion.

Your consciousness is not programmed, but your mind is. Your mind is a machine, biochemical in nature, and much like a computer in that, through a series of yes/no decisions, a very, very small percentage of all that you see, and hear, and feel, and taste and touch, is filtered, ruthlessly, so that you may gain the picture that your biocomputer has chosen to show you, which gives you the greatest amount of information concerning the survival of the entity’s physical vehicle, and the safe storage of one’s habitual thinking processes. This is for the mind what comfort is, that is, stasis, or lack of change. It is just as though in meditation you opened up to yourself a large body of data which you may begin to allow to be programmed into your biocomputer. It is what we may call a metaprogram, a program which will change, and sometimes dump whole programs as it realigns those yes/no choices concerning that about which it shall prioritize its report to consciousness.

The longer that you have had a mental habit, the harder it is to remove that program, and the more painful the removal. However, it is inevitably successful when the seeker is persistent. You see many who speak of results. We speak of work. We speak of learning to become willing servants of humankind. By nature you are programmed to think of the self as master of the Earth, and perhaps master of the cosmos. You may see the amount of the programming that is necessary when you consider attitudes such as this, plus negative attitudes towards the self that have been picked up so long ago that their origin is almost forgotten. Yet, there is no need for these half forgotten melodies to crowd the mind, if they are not attractive, if they do not sound sweet, for is not your life the gift you wish to give to the Creator as you enter larger life? Then make of it that which is beautiful.

Perhaps this is what this instrument would call a cliché. Yet it is well to gaze objectively at the self, as one attempts to weave the tapestry of a genuinely impassioned and intensely lived life, for there is no lukewarmness about the creation; it is only a distraction from the creation that causes people to consider the nature of things as being everyday or mundane. Indeed, if one has found within the self, love, then one is full of love, love of God, love of others, and love of self.

It is time for us to come to an end. If more questions are considered appropriate about this subject or any other, we shall have the opportunity for the asking, and may we also say that if there seems to be a query which may benefit from a longer discussion, there is much material in this area which we have not covered this evening.

Come with us, yokefellows. Bend your shoulders and follow, for carry we burdens, carry them we must, but we may carry them with joy, for we know they are only the disbursions given to us as catalyst, that we may die to petty things and be born to imperishable things. Much of the basic second-density mind does need reexamination as a conscious spirit. May you do this without discouragement, without self-criticism, and with much merriment, for to laugh is to worship. Love each other. This is the answer to so many questions, and remember to love yourself, to forgive yourself, and to live in the resonant, infinite presence whose love you wish to practice and be.

We would at this time wish to transfer this contact to the one know as Jim. We are those of Q’uo, and leave this instrument with thanks.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and light through this instrument. At this time it is our privilege to offer ourselves in the attempt to speak to any queries which those present may have yet remaining upon their minds. If there is a query, we shall be happy to speak to it at this time.

Carla: If you are really upset with someone, is it better to go ahead and communicate, or is it better to go into meditation (inaudible) forgiving (inaudible) without having communicated your feelings?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. As a general rule, for most effective use of catalyst in the life experience, it is well to allow one’s spontaneous feelings and thoughts to be spoken if they are not of such a severe nature as to be damaging to another entity. In most cases, the thoughts and feelings are well to speak, as well as one is willing to take the responsibility of continuing the communication until there is a resolution of difficulty, realizing that all difficulty is but a means toward an harmonious end. It is not well to remain within the condition of anger, and oftentimes it is only through the communication of such anger that one is able to allow its movement through one’s being in a manner that will allow resolution in an harmonious fashion to result.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Carla: There is, but it’s on another subject, and I think I’ll give (inaudible) an opportunity first.

(Pause)

Carla: I guess all the questions are mine tonight. I am equally puzzled as to why we can’t stop some tapes from running to their end. I’ve tried the Jesus prayer, I’ve tried (inaudible) to help me, or for the (inaudible) to help me, although I much (inaudible), I’ve tried spontaneous prayer, I’ve tried sticking my head in a book or turning on the TV or going to sleep. Actually, none of these things truly works except going to sleep and waking up again. Why is it that a person who is genuinely living a life in faith cannot use that faith to place the bar against unwanted behavior? Because it seems impossible not to err, it happens no matter how strongly you try not to.

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. That quality that you have called faith is a quality which is, shall we say, recently developed within most entities who recognize its value. Those qualities which seem to propel one’s actions and thoughts in what you have called erroneous or sinful manners are those qualities that run much deeper within the creature that is human, and are there for the purpose of moving one in a manner which will place one in the position that will allow the learning of that which is appropriate for each entity, for only by experimentation within your illusion are you able to discover what are your potentials, what are your limits, and what are your lessons.

It is not meant that all should be harmonious within your life pattern, for the life of contentment is that life which does not change, does not grow, does not expand the point of view beyond that which is comfortable. Thus, you move beyond the boundaries of comfort, the boundaries of self, the boundaries of that which is known, in order that you shall grow through the exercise of free will, and grow in a manner which is most auspicious for you. That you may call some portions of this growing, trial and error, success and failure, is a definition which is not always helpful when viewing the overall process. Thus, we urge each not to judge, the self or any other, for none within your illusion have eyes which see far enough to accumulate wisdom and understanding. It is that newly developed quality of faith, propelled by the will to continue, that will allow you to continue in a manner which is helpful to your overall growth and the growth of those about.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Carla: Yes, it’s on another subject. I’ve been completely sidelined recently, and I’m having a great deal of trouble sitting up. It doesn’t seem to be at this point possible for me to recover from the waist up, and consequently there are some indications of nature along the lines of a two by four applied to the forehead in my case, that I will probably (inaudible). I’ve been (inaudible) a long time anyway.

My question is, when you look at that situation which I have, you think of it as you wish. You can think of it as something against which to work, to enable yourself to get in as much use as possible for as long as possible, which is what I’ve been doing anyway, trying to find physical therapy which would just exercise my legs and things like that. There’s another way to look at it, at least one more, that being, why not cut the (inaudible), why not accept the fact that there is a disability, that there is a discomfort and (inaudible). Why not become one who is able to (inaudible) the beautiful things, but perhaps not be (inaudible), or who is content with going to church, but not being (inaudible). The poorest person may be wonderful (inaudible) exception, and instead being (inaudible).

This could be done fairly easily by me, at this time, or at any time in the future, as we have other land that is extremely cheap to live on. I do not know which path (inaudible) to working against (inaudible) what seems to be (inaudible), and cooperating with it, to go ahead and be (inaudible) for a contemplative life, which would be further out than this and with less people around. Do you have any comment at all that you can make? I know you can’t answer specific questions.

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister, and you are correct in your assumption that we may not speak with great specificity upon this particular topic, which is one which strikes quite close to the heart of your incarnational pattern, and it is well for each pilgrim to make those kind of choices for the self. One cannot delegate such to another. However, we shall comment by suggesting that you have learned well a part of your personality structure is that which moves against limitation and exercises the will and the faith mightily in this effort.

As you are aware, there is great virtue in this kind of pattern of behavior, for it continually stretches the limitations and strengthens the will in so doing. There is also, as you have mentioned, great virtue in being able to accept one’s limitations, accept that which cannot be changed, and look for the door that is opened when another is closed. It is well that one in your position develop the ability for such acceptance, for the limitations, as it is well known to you, are relatively set.

The balance between these two modes of being is that balance which, when finally struck, will allow the greatest amount and quality of growth within your life pattern. It is the nature of this balance which is best discovered through your own efforts. However, we shall say that you have done well in your diligent pursuit of this balance, and we would counsel a quieting of concerns to a large degree in this area.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Carla: Thank you, Q’uo, but I don’t think so, not at this time. As the energy is pretty low, perhaps the instrument is even (inaudible).

I am Q’uo, and again we thank you for your queries, my sister. May we ask if there is a final query at this time?

Questioner: (Inaudible).

I am Q’uo, and we thank you, my sister, for offering to us the query upon which we may offer our service, for without such queries and such calls for our service we would have no beingness within your experience, and it is a great joy to walk with each of you as you seek more and more of that which you call the truth.

At this time we shall take our leave of this group, leaving each as always in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.

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