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L/L Research Transcripts

ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF THIS TRANSCRIPT: This telepathic channeling has been taken from transcriptions of the weekly study and meditation meetings of the Rock Creek Research & Development Laboratories and L/L Research. It is offered in the hope that it may be useful to you. As the Confederation entities always make a point of saying, please use your discrimination and judgment in assessing this material. If something rings true to you, fine. If something does not resonate, please leave it behind, for neither we nor those of the Confederation would wish to be a stumbling block for any.

CAVEAT: This transcript is being published by L/L Research in a not yet final form. It has, however, been edited and any obvious errors have been corrected. When it is in a final form, this caveat will be removed.

Special Meditation

June 21, 1993

Question for S: The question this afternoon has to do with walking through the valley of the shadow of death in our daily lives, and in our metaphysical apprehension of our lives. Can you talk to us about what it is like, metaphysically, to feel the feelings of hypocrisy, of being worn out, burned out, angry, resentful, feeling that the Creator and the creation have, more or less, let you down? That things aren’t the way they should be?

(Carla channeling)

I am Q’uo. Greetings in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. What a privilege and a blessing it is to be with this group. To blend our vibrations with yours, and to welcome the one known as S. We are most blessed by this opportunity to share our humble service with you and thank you for calling us to this session of working. How radiant is this circle. How deeply does each wish to know the truth and to bear witness to it. The courage of those who choose to live a life governed by blind faith astounds us afresh each time we are able to blend with this dedication of self in a circle such as this one. We ask as you listen to our thoughts that you use discrimination and accept as truth only those things which seem to you to be your own personal truths.

We use this instrument’s knowledge of the context of the phrase, “The valley of the shadow of death,” to quote that part of one of your holy works, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil for thou art with me. Thy rod, thy staff, comfort me.”

This psalmist whose works have praised the infinite Creator and given voice to many a desperate prayer, spoke most truly of third-density incarnational experience. Third density is the first self-conscious density; therefore, it is the density in which consciousness deals with the paradox of life and death.

To the flower, there is only the experience of the moment. The flower is whole and entire. Each moment of its life, its nature is fixed. It responds to love and to light; it is moved by these things and flourishes and thrives, or wilts and dies in utter contentment with its lot for it knows only the seeking towards the light. Though these second-density creatures have no wit and no voice, yet they manifest wisdom, which is lost in the migration into third density.

The tasks of humankind, then, are marked by the first consciousness aware of its own surcease. This life and death is the first of many self-contradictory and paradoxical opposites or pairs of opposites that are met in this density of the valley of the shadow of death. The magnitude of this shadow and its complexity and reach is hidden from those of third density not yet ready to awaken to the call of the inner self, to make the choice of light or darkness. When a seeker first becomes aware of the hunger to know of the mystery it has apprehended then comes the time of the taking up of the journey of pilgrimage, which [is] the life lived in faith.

At each juncture, each pivotal choice, the entity who seeks first becomes aware of a new level of unknowing and then finds itself in the position of dealing responsibly with this new level of awareness. One word for this quantum move from level of awareness to a fuller level of awareness is called initiation. It may be called that or any other term as long as the seeker grasps that at this level there is the full flowering of previous work and study. The onset of a new awareness of the depth of the shadows of death is in this way a compliment which destiny pays to the seeker. For as the new level of unknowing strikes one, as one begins working with the raw materials of the universal self thrown up by this new awareness, all that has been learned before is now integrated into the wider and deeper awareness of that universal self. In this way, when a time of testing comes, this time, in addition to being a beginning, is also the servant well done, which resounds within the heart of self.

A seeker who has a keen awareness of suffering is also a seeker who has reaped the bloom and blossom of much effort before.

Do we then suggest you rejoice at the new awareness that bites like a sword at the consciousness? Yes, my friends, indeed, we ask you to turn to the one infinite Creator and offer thanks and praise. Then we ask further, that the seeker be aware that in addition to thanks and to praise there are those communications which the one infinite Creator delights in hearing. These are those confessions of anger, of disappointment, of sorrow, and of suffering. To share these gifts with infinite One, it is to give to this mystery the most precious of gifts, for as each emotion whatsoever goes through the continuing process of refining and purification, so does the infinite One become infinitely more than It was. This is the greatest gift, to share all things, seemingly positive and seemingly negative, in a continuing and honest, heartfelt dialogue with the infinite One.

This is a dialogue whose part is silence. This is the inner working of consciousness and it is a great gift that each offers, as each continues to seek steadily, doggedly, persistently, unwaveringly for the truth, the light, the fuller awareness of life moves to the heart.

We wish each of you to do this now. Focus the attention upon this energy center. Touch, if you will, into that pool of sorrow. You are a stranger in a strange land. You seek amidst the deepest illusion. You are lost in solitude of spirit, feeling abandoned, stranded upon an alien shore. Allow this sorrow to become intense and then give it to the infinite One.

We pause briefly …

(Pause)

We are again with this instrument.

As you allow these feelings their silent expression, there was the answering expression … silent and unmanifest. Truly, each sorrow is a treasure and the thankfulness and love of the infinite Creator speaks directly to that deep heart within, wherein lies a true intelligence and true knowledge.

This walk through the valley may be seen with the eyes of faith as other than it seems. It may, if the seeker chooses, gradually begin to seem not only the valley, but also the high place. Not only the dark path but also that path which streams, full of light, (inaudible). Both perceptions are equally true and to refrain from seeing things both ways is to refrain from wholeness.

This instrument spoke earlier of a phrase we have used, “The healing of the incarnation.” We feel that as a third-density incarnational experience begins to mature and to be shaped by the growing consciousness within one distortion is added to another. Until, bias upon bias, the life has attained its characteristic shape. Within this shape, in virtually every instance, there is a fairly regular system of distortions which need a certain kind of healing which is unique to each biased yet balanced entity.

As the self does enough work in consciousness to have the capacity of looking upon the life experience as an whole, then the opportunity comes to offer a new level of commitment to the spiritual path, or what this instrument would call “The King’s Highway.”

We do not urge any to make commitments that do not feel right to the seeker, but we suggest when that time of testing comes and the new lesson of love begins, there is the opportunity to turn deliberately and with greatest desire to the mystery of all that there is and say, “Yes, I accept this lesson and through harsh experience, rediscovering the joy at the heart of my self.” Do not do this quickly or before there is the inspiration to make this commitment to the forces of life, evolution and destiny, but when there is that moment when the grand Quixotic quest is clearly seen and there is that foolish, heartfelt impulse to accept, again, the process of healing and self-forgiveness, then we encourage each to leap in joy and faith with that affirmation that through long experience can be carved out of what would otherwise be a wilderness of sorrow.

You cannot, of yourself, create order out of the chaos of suffering. Any manmade order imposed upon such, in order to avoid pain, also avoids further knowledge of the self and diminishes the self’s capacity to know and heal the self’s balance within.

The road recedes before each. It shall continue, as far as we are aware, to do so infinitely.

Turn in mind and heart so in strength then to that companion that is never absent, the higher self or spirit within. Welcome all those, such as we, who move in thought to love, support and undergird the seeking strength of those who call upon our names and turn ever and again to those precious ones whom you serve and who are for you companions upon the way. To love one another. To share one another’s sorrows and to walk hand in hand, rejoicing and singing upon that precious, dim, shadowy walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

Life and death are but shadows. The Creator is all that there is. Rest then in shadow and in sunlight, and feel compassion flood you in your innermost being for your own courage, as you struggle with light and darkness and choose again and again, in blind faith, the manifested light.

We would at this time transfer this contact to the one known as Jim. We thank this instrument. We are those of Q’uo, and leave this instrument in love and light.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and in light through this instrument. It is a privilege at this time to ask if there might be any further queries to which we may speak. Is there another query at this time?

Questioner: I have a comment and see what you can say about it. A feeling this whole year has been that it has not been my third density personality, fourth density, whatever density personality that is going through the difficulties that I, in the past, have always gladly with light heart and, as Carla would say, as “keeper of the watchtower” offer back to the Creator gladly the hardships that I would travel and meet. But something has happened this year that has, I feel very firmly about, has affected my magical self, a part of me that I never really thought would ever be attacked, because of my utmost naiveté and faith and automatic turning to the light.

The valley and the shadows that I have been walking through have shaken the very foundation of my magical place, something that I find frightening. It’s only been because of the habit of turning to the light that I have held on. Because I have heard self say, “No.” And that in itself … something has happened, and it’s only been in the reservoir of having led the life on the magical path that has kept a darkness at bay, but I am concerned because I am finding myself, my magical self, growing less purposeful in experiencing and giving back to the Creator the experiences of my magical identity, the purpose for my being here. I need to know more than just giving back to the Creator the experience that seems very arrogant, the purpose of my magical identity, because the price this year has been incredibly high and the pain, incredibly deep.

I am Q’uo, and we listened with great sympathy to the pain and anguish which you describe and we feel a great kinship with you, for each of you who walk through the valley of the shadow of death that is the third-density illusion walks with great courage and as you have said this day, a kind of naiveté, that is at once a shining light and a protection to those who walk in the valley of illusion.

We would hasten to suggest that it is not your magical personality that has suffered the blows that you have felt, for each entity such as yourself that has come to this illusion to serve in the light has a magical personality which is unblemished, as is yours. That which you have experienced as your magical personality is, in relation to your true magical personality, but the barest beginnings of a description of its fullness.

For as you work in magical sense in this illusion, you establish a contact with this personality that is truly magical in its essence. This contact is made of but the finest fibers of light and love, constructed with the greatest of efforts by you in your work that is metaphysical in nature. As you continue to travel this pathway, this light and love woven thread leading to the magical personality, you strengthen this pathway, Even the strongest of magicians, shall we say, in your third density illusion, touch only a portion of that personality which resides, safely and securely, within the six-density level of experience.

What you have felt in this past year, as you have described it, is more the pathway becoming less and less accessible, or so it would seem to you in your experience. Yet, may we also suggest that this pathway is accessible though it may seem to be not so accessible as previously. This is as because as you go through those experiences of difficulty which we have described as initiation, there is the changing perception of your third-density personality as it seeks for that which it once knew as a pathway, and finds brambles and stones and dryness of experience.

This is a part of this transformative experience which, when completed, will have served to temper even more precisely and finely that pathway which you travel to the magical personality, but there will be a new you, for the third-density entity which you have been, and are now, is that entity which is being transformed by the difficulties of the experience. Thus, the tempering is by fire and seems to destroy that which once was.

As the …

(Side on of tape ends.)

(Carla channeling)

I am Q’uo. We shall continue. Those of your friends and your guides and teachers are with you always and are aware of your difficulty and give aid where they can and guidance where it is possible. However, this particular kind of transformation is that which requires the one undergoing the transformation to seek with one’s own efforts, as fully as possible. Thus, the darkness seems far more black and full of difficulty than has any previous experience.

However, we assure you, my sister, that there is aid at hand, and even though you feel there is no response to your call for assistance, there is the love and the light sent by all those whose honor it (inaudible) is to walk with you upon this journey.

We counsel you to have faith and take heart that in these times of trials and testings that you will survive. You will make the feeling of unity that once was yours become again as the steady state of your experience. This testing is a great gift that is given, both to you, as you experience it, and given by you to the Creator, as you are victorious in your testing.

We can say to you that you are doing well, though it may seem such is not the case. Be of good spirits, my sister, for we walk with you, always.

Is there a further query?

Questioner: No, thank you.

I am Q’uo, and we thank you, my sister. Is there another query, at this time?

Carla: I have one. You said, “Don’t be afraid.” You said it somewhere. “Take courage,” I think you said and the verse says, “I will fear no evil.” But it is scary. It is terribly frightening. It’s terrifying, especially when you feel like the negativity’s right within yourself and it’s you and you’re sort of attacking yourself, in the end.

I had that after Don died. I really just felt very suicidal and hopeless and the only thing that kept me going was, like S said, the habit of turning to the light. I just was determined to keep my faith, but it didn’t make it the less hurtful or terrifying and I had lots of nightmares.

Is there some way that you can reduce the terror factor while you’re having to go through it? I mean, I realize what you’re doing is building a whole new personality that takes in the fruits of everything that was learned before and I know that means pain, because change always mean pain. But how can you get comfort when you’re so wretched?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. We must suggest that there is but little comfort in this transformation experience. There is the strength that comes from faith, continually exercised. Faith that there is an end to this experience. Faith that there is strength within to overcome that which seems to be overwhelming, and we can assure each of you that as you move from this illusion and look back upon your experiences here, you shall rejoice at those areas of darkness, that you have been blessed with light, with love, and with the faith in your journey and in your efforts and in the unity of all things.

Is there a further query?

Carla: No. Thank you very much for that.

I am Q’uo, and we thank you, once again, my sister. Is there another query, at this time?

(No further queries.)

I am Q’uo, and as it appears that we have exhausted the queries for the nonce, we shall once again express our great gratitude at being invited to join you in this circle of seeking. It is not often that we are able to bathe in these vibrations of harmonious interaction that are born at the meeting of these entities present. We especially are grateful for being able to speak with, and walk with, the one known as S.

At this time, we shall take our leave of this group and this instrument, leaving each, as always, in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.

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