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L/L Research Transcripts

ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF THIS TRANSCRIPT: This telepathic channeling has been taken from transcriptions of the weekly study and meditation meetings of the Rock Creek Research & Development Laboratories and L/L Research. It is offered in the hope that it may be useful to you. As the Confederation entities always make a point of saying, please use your discrimination and judgment in assessing this material. If something rings true to you, fine. If something does not resonate, please leave it behind, for neither we nor those of the Confederation would wish to be a stumbling block for any.

CAVEAT: This transcript is being published by L/L Research in a not yet final form. It has, however, been edited and any obvious errors have been corrected. When it is in a final form, this caveat will be removed.

Special Meditation

June 14, 2002

Questioner: I feel difficulty in just plain loving so much of the time. What blocks have I created to the love within me? Where or how am I preventing that infinite energy from reaching my heart? What can I do to love and accept my family more? Is there anything I can do to bring healing where it is needed in this family, my father especially? I seem to be very stuck in orange-ray concerns which keep my focus on myself. What can I do to finish my own processes enough that I might place that focus outwards and work to actually serving another?

(Carla channeling)

We are those known to you as the principle of Q’uo, and we greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator, in whose service we come to you. We thank you for creating this opportunity for us to communicate with you through this instrument. It is indeed a great blessing to join your meditation and we thank each who has laid aside the concerns of the day in order to form a circle of seeking. It is a great blessing to us to share the beauty of each of your vibrations and to be able to serve as we hoped to serve when we joined the inner planes of your planetary sphere. For being called upon to speak upon such subjects as love and its increase is that service which is that which we hoped to offer and so we offer a thankful expression of gratitude for this opportunity and are happy to share our humble thoughts with you, asking, as always, that each choose the thoughts from those that we offer that seem to have virtue and leave the rest behind without a second thought.

When we come to the subject of love we find that there are as many ways to approach the subject as there are stars in your night sky and yet, the energy of each star has its center in the one great original Thought that created all that there is. The expression of discomfort and distress shared by the one known as G is an expression that is very common to those who dwell upon your planetary sphere at this time. It is an ironic truth that before awakening from the planetary dream the mind of an entity is effectively asleep in a metaphysical sense so that the discomforts of being conscious and fully aware of the situation around one are muted by the dream of consensus reality. Whereas upon awakening it becomes obvious that the consensus reality is, in fact, an illusion with a gaudy surface but very little actual content, and that which was before a comfortable sleep becomes an all too sensitized awareness of the seeming gap between that which truly is, in a metaphysical sense, and that which can be expressed by the life of the everyday chores, and duties, and honors of being in the human condition, shall we say, whereas once one was able not to question but simply to abide by those suggestions of that which is worthwhile and that which is not; that which is good and that which is bad. Upon awakening, there becomes the awareness of the state of pain, and difficulty in identifying one’s nature, one’s goals, one’s service and one’s path ahead. The life stretches out before the gaze, full of days that are empty of true meaning and vital energy. Within this condition there is one hope, one call, and that hope and call is the call of love. For love calls not only within the being but surrounding and emanating from the being. There is the hope of multiplying, by the actions of the self, the love that is available to the world without one, and the soul begins to wonder if it will ever find that seemingly secret path through all of the twists and changes of the winding road that seemed so straight, when one was asleep, but now opens out into an increasingly mazed and seemingly confused pattern of turns and twists and dead ends.

Many are the souls that sit upon a rock by the edge of this winding road alone, feeling dry as the desert, aching for company and yearning for true purpose. And this is the feeling of the desert within this dry time of awakening and getting one’s bearings. It often seems as though the road truly does go on forever with no relief from the smallness of detail in the daily landscape or the yearning of the heart for greater and more abundant surroundings. We come to this group this evening with a very simple message, and that message is that this experience of dryness, and aridity, and difficulty, and discomfort is as the shell or the husk of the self and the worlds that are full of vitality, crammed and stuffed with essence, with meaning, and bursting at the seams with opportunities to be of service to the self, to the Creator, and to the world about the self. Yet, how could eyes that are so open and so aware be missing that oasis of plenty and comfort in the midst of this vast desert of experience?

We would move back with each of you, backwards in time and in mind, to a point before birth, before the approach into this illusion that you call third density. Each of you had undergone a process of planning and prayerfully, thoughtfully choosing the relationships that would serve to bring forth the patterns of catalysts that were those patterns that would engage the self in very precise and intended ways, with certain key lessons that had to do with love, with learning how to love, with learning how to accept the love of others, and learning how to be of true service and how to accept the service of others towards you. Resting in that very supported environment of guidance and planning, gazing at the incarnation ahead, may we say that each of you felt fairly confident that you would not forget your purpose, your dreams, your goals, your hopes, and your desires for learning and for service within the incarnation to come. From that viewpoint beyond the veil of forgetting it truly looked as though it were going to be enjoyable and all too brief an experience. As this instrument has expressed it, each thought this is going to be fun. And then that point of view was lost in the rush of coming into third density fully, of beginning to breathe in and breathe out, of experiencing the limitations of the physical vehicle that must be fed, and clothed, and comforted with sleep and rest in order that it may survive, let alone be of service.

The one known as G wonders why the bulk of its thoughts and concerns at this time revolve about the self and about personal relationships. And yet, we would say that in each entity’s life experience there is a constant and never-ending need for the processes of investigation into the nature of the self, and those relationships about one that have been so carefully chosen before times. In each life experience, no matter what the expectation has been beforehand of how enjoyable this experience would be, the illusion itself creates a most efficient feeling of being completely overwhelmed by the ocean of experience. The waves mount upon one another, seemingly often without rhyme or reason, and when one is washed up upon a shore in this archipelago, that shore may well be created from confusion and unanswered questions. We can only suggest to each of you that this is precisely the position in which you desired to be before incarnation. Carefully, studiously and with great love and compassion for the self, each of you planned this descent into seeming madness and chaos. Not to punish yourself, but to give yourself the opportunity to be lost within the body, the mind, and the experience of being fully vulnerable, fully blinded, fully submerged in this puzzle which is never fully worked but which cycles around so that once the puzzle is worked one way, the pieces are tossed into the air and come down to form a new pattern, a new maze, a new puzzle, in order that the incarnational lesson may be viewed once again, and then once again, and then yet again. Again, not to punish but to provide a continuing classroom in which the self begins to know the self, begins to know the mind and the heart of the self, begins at last to refine the self in the sense of coming to a new balance in that winding road of love and light. For balance there needs to be, and it has been your judgment before incarnation that just these lessons and just these relationships would give a rich and varied diet to the soul of choices to make, of puzzles to solve, of keys that unlock chosen doors within.

There is concern within the one known as G that there is a selfishness within that is causing too much the concern of the mind and the heart to rest within those knotty problems of self, and yet we would say that this is precisely that concern which needs to be upon the mind of the individual who is young in years, and, indeed, in a cyclical manner, this process of discovering the heart of self recurs regularly throughout the incarnation. There is no sense ever of being finished. That is a vain and shallow hope, that has nothing to do with the soul within. There is not a curriculum which one may learn and then be finished. Rather, there is an opportunity, for as long as the incarnation lasts, to place oneself in what this instrument would call the refining fire, to allow the soul to be distilled again and again in the distillery of incarnation so that each time the cycle moves a round of catalyst, experience and learning, the soul is more known to itself, more available to the conscious mind, more open and unafraid, more vulnerable to joy and sorrow, and more comfortable in the midst of suffering as well as in the midst of happy times.

Within this cycle of experience at the very center of self lies that same original Thought of love which shines out of the night sky from each star. Each soul within incarnation is also a star. Each drowning in the sea of confusion is also a master. And yet the goal is not to remember the masterhood as much as [to] begin to sense the lack of necessity for understanding. The goal of this sea of confusion is to drive the attention at last from trust in the logic, and the sense of the mind and the intellect, into the heart, to release at last the demand that the life experience make any certain kind of sense, and the creation of that energy of fearlessness that is able at last to say that, “I know that I do not understand and yet, I know that I live in a world that makes complete sense. I know that I do not understand the plan and yet I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a plan. I know that I shall never understand what I am doing but I have come to know that I cannot make a mistake.” Then, at last, the soul within is free to take that which this instrument calls the leap of faith, where the meaning and the sense of life, in the metaphysical way of looking at it, begins only when that leap into midair is taken. The demands of sense and logical neatness are abandoned in favor of the full confidence in the support that comes in midair.

Perhaps each of you has seen the cartoons where the coyote dashes off into midair, chasing the roadrunner. Finally, the coyote looks down and realizes that he has run out of cliff, and once he realizes that he is running only on air he sinks like a stone and plows into the ground below. This is the human condition, yet when it becomes possible for the spirit within to cease looking down, each will find that midair is a very firm support. It is written in your holy works that the one known as Jesus was walking upon the water, in the darkness of night in the Sea of Galilee, and when those who were within a boat saw this entity walking upon the water, one of those within the boat started out to join his beloved teacher, and he, too, was walking upon the water until he realized what it was he was doing, and when the conscious mind took over the faith was lost, and the one known as Jesus had to reach out his hand, and when those hands met, the one known as Peter was once again able to navigate the water, and was able to get back safely into his boat.

The daily life is much like this small fishing boat. It is apparent to the conscious mind what is needed. A support is needed so that one does not drown, and, yet, to the soul within, it is perfectly possible to walk upon the water, or, indeed, to move into the water and breathe the water as if it were air. For the soul within is a citizen of eternity and is not limited by those things which seem to limit that human body, which each of you now experiences life from within. To the outer mind, all is this detail and that; to the spirit within, it is a unified experience. Water flowing into air, flowing into stone, flowing into fire. All things transmuting and changing, yet remaining harmonious and connected in a way that is rhythmic and musical. There is a harmony and a dance that is hidden within the folds of the everyday.

The one known as Jim presumes that he is taking large machinery to the cutting of grass and yet, in the metaphysical sense, this entity is merging his energetic being with those spirits of grass, and bush, and tree, and breeze, and dancing with them in such a way that the environment is redolent with the odor of his energy, and the energy of the grass, and the energy of the air, all combining to create a pattern of love and joy. The one known as G has experienced the large machinery of forklift and the bulky boxes and loads which are moved back and forth endlessly in that which is called the warehouse and yet, in reality this entity too dances, in a dance with wood, and dust, and air, and light, in such a way that the atmosphere is forever changed in a harmonious and loving and joyful fashion. For there are no boundaries within the metaphysical world, and that which seems most humble and most usual from the outside in is in fact simply one more way to love, one more way to share the self. So that there is no work that is better than other work, there is no service that is more appropriate than another service, but, rather, there is only that moment in which all that is needed is there, and all that needs you is available for you to touch and bless by your being.

How does one find this being within? Certainly, there are periods of time in which it is appropriate for the entity to be almost consumed with concerns about the self. This entity was speaking earlier of the concept of critical mass, and it is as though within the awakening being, there comes a time of critical mass when that which has been must be laid aside, and that which is to come must be taken up, and it is just such a season that this entity, the one known as G, is experiencing at this time, and, indeed, each of those present happens also to be experiencing a point within the cycle of the experience of learning, where there is the letting go of the old and the embracing, reluctantly or enthusiastically, of that which seems very new. Such times are times when one must move within, more than seems perhaps appropriate to one who wishes to serve others and yet, perhaps we can give you the model of the light bulb in which that light gives light to others only because it is appropriately connected to the source of power, and develops that power in such a way that the filament of that lighting mechanism is activated. An entity is not designed simply to serve others. There is an inner loop of service which is entirely appropriate, which needs to be not only created but maintained so that the filament of self within is whole, and perfect, and free of blockage that it may glow with the love and the light of the infinite Creator. No matter how much energy is developed and given out from such a light, the light itself needs to retain enough power that it may continue to serve as a light. This loop, shall we say, of power within, is fed by a self that sees the value and acknowledges the worthwhileness of that self within. Can each see that it is perfectly appropriate to retain some energy for the self? This instrument has often spoken of being transparent to the energy …

(Tape change.)

… and yet until that instrument is properly empowered it cannot be a lighthouse, it cannot fulfill those services it has intended and for which it took breath.

The love that lies within is waiting at all times and in all places and conditions. There is never a time when this love is not resting quietly, glowing incandescently within the heart of self. The love of the Creator dwells within the heart, and it is the self in its concerns that often lead one away from connecting with the self in the search outward for sources of light and guidance elsewhere, and so we would complete the beginning part of this message by suggesting that for each entity there is a most congenial way to enter into the self through the use of silence and the resting in trust. It is as simple as releasing the breath and the energy of striving so that there is deep breathing in and out, that is not stressful but rather greedy for that life-giving fuel of air that fuels body and spirit. It is possible to breathe in peace and to breathe out stress, to breathe in light and to breathe out weariness. The key always for this kind of inner work is silence. We would encourage the one known as G to take deep breaths of that infinite love and light which are always flowing from the source of all things in infinite supply. There is the desire to love, and yet love is already present. There is the desire to serve, and yet by the beauty of being, each already serves.

We would at this time transfer this contact to the one know as Jim in order that the one known as G may ask any further questions that it wishes to ask at this time. We thank this instrument for its service and would leave this instrument in love and in light and transfer this contact at this time. We are those known to you as Q’uo.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and in light through this instrument. At this time it is our privilege to offer ourselves. We attempt to speak to any further shorter queries which the one known as G may have for us. Is there another query at this time?

G: Yes, there is. For several years now I have been unbearable fatigued. Some days I can literally feel my vitality being sucked from me, I can’t find that life force and I’ve recently begun to suspect an infection called candidiasis. Can you tell me the cause of this fatigue or a measure that I can take to alleviate myself of this condition and ways that I can find that vital energy within?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. We find that there is some information which we may share without infringement upon free will, however, there is the boundary of infringement which we must serve, for there is catalyst here that is of use in the spiritual growth of your being at this time.

The viewpoint of the self standing upon a prominent precipice and making the self ready to take a leap of faith into that which is your destiny is the basic situation with which you deal. There is the eagerness and the anticipation of the adventure that awaits, for it is that soul’s destiny which you have created before this incarnation as the pattern for the incarnation which you feel is now ready to unfurl before you, as the marker, the guide post, the beginning of the great work. The dual feeling of anticipation and weariness is not so surprising when one considers the nature of spiritual paradox. Knowing beforehand that there is a great work to accomplish and yet seeing this work within the eyes of the work-a-day world, the illusion of this density, and translating the amount of work that lies ahead into the ordinary terms, causes one to feel a great burden, a great weight upon the soul, and this expresses itself in various ways in the physical vehicle, in the emotional vehicle, in the mental vehicle, and to a lesser extent within the spiritual vehicle as well.

If you choose to see this configuration of energy within your being at this time as this or that disease, and determine that you shall treat the disease, even in a superficial sense, as well as other levels of interpretation and application of remedy, then it is well to do so and to use the various healing modalities available to you as means by which you shall clear a path for full energy flow through your vehicle.

Thus, this particular catalyst can be used at any or all of the levels previously mentioned to enhance the personal understanding of your need to make a choice, to take a leap, to begin a journey, and to be of service in every manner possible for you, and to learn that which is yours to learn, to give and to receive the love that you feel is within your being awaiting release. It is a choice which you may make upon various levels and it is the key to beginning a great work for you.

Is there a further query, my brother?

G: Yes, I have had many recurring dreams of being in school, of missing homework, not showing up to class, missing deadlines … also dreams of playing in the school band that I was in and having difficulty playing basic songs. Can you give me any insight into what these dreams are tying to tell me? What am I missing?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. We would again refer you to the beginning of our previous response in which we suggest that it was a matter of a point of view. This point of view in this instance being that opinion of yourself and how you feel that you have responded in your past to various opportunities and challenges that have been significant for you in your own growth in this illusion and within your own spiritual journey as well. It is a point of view which may be enhanced by seeing the self as the Creator, as a co-Creator of all that you experience in your incarnation.

Is there a further query, my brother?

G: Yes, by definition of being a spiritual outsider I am a wanderer. I was wondering if you can answer me whether my spirit is native to this planet or not?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother, and can respond in this case with the suggestion that you are of another planetary origin, of another density of origin, indeed, that which has been called a wanderer by those in this group, who has a mission to accomplish upon this planetary sphere, and who now seeks the nature and the heart of that mission.

Is there a further query, my brother?

G: Yes, I haven’t experienced a loving relationship with a female in quite some time now and was wondering if I am, I don’t know, meant to have one and where … is…she out there, is that person, if there is such a thing, out there for me? Will I experience something like that?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. Ahh, this one wants dessert before the main course. There is a great deal of work, my brother, that lies before you before, indeed, you find this friend upon your journey, for those of the nature of the wanderer are quite often solitary for a certain period of time, during which they find the heart of the journey, the road upon which they wish to travel. When the feet are firmly set upon this road then perhaps one day you shall notice another set walking closely beside you.

Is there another query, my brother?

G: Yes, if you need a description I will give you description but I’m sure you can read my mind in a sense. What did I experience the night of June 11th at two a.m. in the morning?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. We are not usually of the disposition to speak to that which has not been spoken, yet, clearly in this instance we can suggest that this was an indicator, an initiatory experience that will find further repetition and permutation within the life pattern in the days to come.

Is there another query, my brother?

G: Thank you for offering me all these chances to ask my questions. When I am able to meditate, when I’m not very tired, I feel as if I am on one side of my head or my energies somehow are distorted; I’m angled, I’m twisted. Can you offer me some sort of explanation as to what is happening? What this is?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. As your inner sensitivities become more sensitized to the experience of a metaphysical nature which is being born within you, these sensory perceptions of an inner nature will begin to be aware of the flow, or the blockage of the finer energies as they move through your chakra system. Indeed, as you feel that you feel you are distorted in one direction or another, this is a fairly accurate perception of how energies currently are configured within your metaphysical or time/space being. These energies are those with which you begin to work now as you seek the heart of your journey. The opportunity to balance them shall come to you in each daily round of activities as you are given the opportunity to express various levels of response to the catalyst that awakens these configurations. Thus, we recommend patience and persistence in working with that which is given to you each day.

Is there final query, my brother?

G: In my mother’s—if this isn’t too long to answer—on my mother’s side of my family there’s been a big family blow-out, and my mother doesn’t speak to her six brothers or sisters, and I’ve tried to find ways to mend fences and have not accomplished that. I know, I guess anything can be healed and the possibilities are infinite, but do you see it being probable that healing can take place within that family, within that situation, and, if so, can I do anything?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. Indeed, there is always the possibility of healing, yet the desire to do so being absent in this case from many of those who are involved in the loss and seeking for love, there may yet need to be a time for the inner reflection, even upon the subconscious level, of some of these with whom you are closely aligned, and your part in this process may simply be to offer yourself as you are, to be spontaneous within the moment, guided by love and offering that which you feel, without dedication to any particular outcome. In other words, shining the light of your love as best you can and letting what comes of it be as it is. Perfect in it’s own balance, though mysterious in it’s manifestation.

At this time we would thank each present for making those sacrifices necessary to join this circle of seeking and for inviting our presence within your seeking this day. We are always most grateful to join you here, upon that dusty path which each pilgrim seeker of truth travels within the great density of choice that is yours at this time. We would remind each that we are but your brothers and sisters, who seek perhaps a bit further upon this same path, and who offer our opinions to you as those who have experienced what you now experience and who wish to be of service to you. Take those words and thoughts of ours which ring of truth and leave all else behind which does not ring of that truth for you, for we would not be stumbling blocks upon your path. Realize that each step you take is perfectly planned, if not upon this level of experience then upon that pre-incarnational level which anticipated the great range of experience that would be yours within this illusion, that you have within you each capability of meeting each catalyst with a successful processing and ability to blend those lessons to the great tapestry of your life experience. Know that others of an unseen nature walk with you to help, to guide, to teach. And finally, we would recommend that each give praise and thanksgiving to the one Creator each day for all experience, whether understood, confused or distraught. For all is a great opportunity to learn the heart of love.

We are known to you as those of Q’uo. At this time we shall take our leave of this instrument and this group. We leave you each in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.

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