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L/L Research Transcripts

ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF THIS TRANSCRIPT: This telepathic channeling has been taken from transcriptions of the weekly study and meditation meetings of the Rock Creek Research & Development Laboratories and L/L Research. It is offered in the hope that it may be useful to you. As the Confederation entities always make a point of saying, please use your discrimination and judgment in assessing this material. If something rings true to you, fine. If something does not resonate, please leave it behind, for neither we nor those of the Confederation would wish to be a stumbling block for any.

Special Meditation

June 17, 2005

Question from D: Since 1997 I have suffered depression and anxiety as my awakening occurred. My previous view of reality changed completely. In 2000 I broke down completely. I’ve had the feeling that psychic greeting is involved in this illness and breakdown. I sensed I had inadvertently invited thought forms into my life which were not friendly. Can you confirm this?

(Carla channeling)

We are those known to you as the principle of Q’uo, and we greet you, my brother, in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator, in Whose service we come to you this day. May we thank you for setting aside this time for sacred seeking and for offering to us the beauty of your vibrations. We share in them with the light and return our infinite love to you. It is our privilege and our pleasure to share with you upon any subject which you would have the pleasure in asking.

As always, we would ask a gift of you and that is that you listen to those things which we have to say with a jaundiced and judgmental mind. Be ready to ignore us if anything that we say does not ring true to you. We are not infallible beings nor are we authorities; we are your fellow seekers. If you will take responsibility for responding only to those thoughts that resonate to you as if they were memories that we helped you to recover, and to lay aside all other thoughts that do not ring true, then that will free us up to be able to speak with you without being concerned that we would interfere with your free will or be a stumbling block to your progress. We greatly thank you, my brother, for this consideration.

To respond to your question concerning psychic greeting and the experiences through which you have gone, we would begin by saying that we can indeed confirm that that which you would call psychic greeting has occurred and indeed there are two separate types of psychic greeting that have occurred. We are able to share this information with you because we feel that you have a somewhat crystallized concept of what is actually occurring and we are simply deepening your understanding.

Firstly, in considering the question of greeting, we would say that there is a type of psychic greeting, as it is generally known among your people, although some call it psychic attack, that is indeed from an entity that is not of your density. This is relatively rare and occurs when an entity, for some reason, has attracted the attention of a service-to-self entity of the unseen or inner planes. You attracted the interest of such an entity by the purity and the focus of your seeking of the light of truth. You were ruthless in this seeking. This is, my brother, what is needed. You cannot have pity upon the personality shell which you enjoy at this time if you wish to uncover a deeper portion of the reality or essence of yourself. You must simply ask and, after asking, not look away. And this you have done.

There is a quality to this kind of courage which is what this instrument would call ethical or moral. Those who seek with such intent stand close to the light that they seek. For you see, my brother, that which you seek is already with you and in asking, you have received it. In receiving truth, you receive very pure light and this is what caused the attention of what we would call a mischievous service-to-self entity who wished to distract you from your journey of seeking to come to you.

In the process of the suffering which ensued, you burned away the opportunity for this entity to disturb your life. It is not that this entity wished to go away, nor does it still, it is that you have achieved the ability to love it, to accept it, to embrace it, and to know it as part of yourself. It is very frustrating to this entity to be so loved. And so this entity, most of the time, is forced to retire from propinquity to your spirit, mind or emotions. From time to time you may feel that you are being greeted once again. This is an old friend, is it not, and you may say to it once again, “Old friend, you are part of me. I love you, I accept you, and I embrace you.” And it shall react as it will. You, however, shall be unharmed. It cannot touch you in any substantive way.

We would then, secondly, speak to that other type of psychic greeting, as this instrument would call it, which is far more common among your peoples. We were speaking earlier in talking with the one known as I concerning the crystalline nature of all entities. You are as a crystal, receiving, transmitting and transducing energy. There are some kinds of light that come into your being which you dearly love. You develop those aspects of self. You turn the crystal of self to the station that receives that light and you work with it, patiently and endlessly, with joy. And so those portions of yourself develop, become refined, and strengthen their connections to the one infinite Creator.

There are other facets of this gem that you are at which you have not enjoyed looking. Therefore, you turn them away from the source of light and choose not to develop them. Could we ever blame an entity for not wishing to work with the murderer within, with the thief, with the liar, or any of those roles or facets of self that do create valid and worthy parts of the circle of being that you represent? You are all things. You are not simply the good part, as it is known among your people or in your culture. You are everything. You contain every emotion. You have every thought.

The psychic greeting that is common among your people is the greeting of self to self. [It is the] greeting of the self by the projections of that self, seen in the mirror of the self’s thoughts or the thoughts or the actions of another self that resonate to you and call forth from you the necessity to look at and to experience to some degree that portion of yourself which this facet represents that has been evoked. The facets of the shadow self have not been developed by you. You have not yet appreciated the poignancy and the profundity of these energies. What lies behind the eyes and thoughts of one who wishes another harm? What lies behind the door of fear? What lies behind the capacity of an entity to fend for itself when it feels that its survival is threatened?

How difficult these things are to examine. And yet this is the work that you came here to do. You came to develop the undeveloped portions of the self and so to integrate into your circle of being, that they too may become able to catch the light, to focus the power and the peace of the one infinite Creator, and to integrate themselves as the deep underside of your being that gives to you your grit, your determination, and your persistence. These are wonderful parts of yourself. When developed, they constitute the best of you, just as every facet of your being constitutes the best of you. And as you integrate them and begin to see the commonalities throughout the circle of being, for the first time in your incarnation you become able to love yourself.

Why is this important when the whole point of a service-to-others incarnation is to love and serve others? My brother, we say to you, the point is that you cannot love another beyond your capacity to love yourself. When you have ceased to judge yourself and have forgiven yourself for being error prone and human, for having undeveloped light that you didn’t find yet, then you are able to understand and forgive the frailties of those about you. You become, in your very being, a nurturer and a lover of souls, and this you have craved and sought.

And so these harsh and unremitting periods of suffering came upon you, not to punish you and not to distort you in any way that you chose not to turn but rather to allow you the time and the space to behold yourself; not simply the pleasant bits, the parts you could trot out and show to family and friends, but, more importantly, those parts of yourself with which you had hard work to do. What a nightmare it is the first time you see a part of yourself that has simply gone neglected and lies like a rubbish heap at the depths of your soul! How you would wish that it were not you! But all things are you and you are all things.

You have come through this fire. Yet this is a fire that shall never burn down within incarnation, for this is your opportunity to refine your being. Therefore, these patterns of seeing the undeveloped parts of the self will continue. Think of it as if you were on a spiral, moving ever upward towards the light. As your incarnational themes come around again like the leitmotif in the opera, you hear the tune. “Ah,” you say, “Parsifal has arrived.” Or, “Ah, it’s Peter,” or “the Wolf.” Such are the experiences within your orchestral works for recognizing characters that are part of yourself that have come around again, singing their song and telling their story to you. Do not be dismayed. You came here to meet these parts of yourself, to go on a journey with them, to listen to their music, and to hear their story. Each time that this theme repeats, the motif shall lead you into a different level of work. You do not repeat the work. You are at a different place in the spiral each time the repetition of them occurs. So do not assume that you know that story yet. You have not heard this version! But rejoice in the occurrence of this work. And as you take it up with joy, rather than reluctantly, the motif shall come to greet you and shall be generous with its truth.

This instrument has often talked, in the context of her life in community in the last several months and years, of the experiencing of community as a hall of mirrors and she has often said, “The most you can hope from the hall of mirrors is that the mirrors speak to you gently, lovingly and honestly.” Everyone that you meet is a mirror to you. My brother, most of them are not kind and they are certainly not capable of being honest. Therefore, you feel as though you are in a carnival, in the house of crazy mirrors that show you to be too tall or too short or too fat or too thin to represent your true image. Let this be so. Let the distortions be as they are and then say, “What do I see in this mirror that can help me to grow?”

You will come to appreciate the mirrors that give you a true image and, indeed, they are priceless.

May we ask if there is another query at this time?

D: Is such a so-called greeting, of a seemingly unfriendly nature, a bad thing? Or is it just part of the process of awakening? Please comment in any way you might find helpful.

We are those of Q’uo, and are aware of your query, my brother. We would certainly feel, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this process, while harsh, is extremely helpful and indeed is a necessary part of your particular path. You have not chosen an easy path. You have chosen to hew to a very precise upward-spiraling line of light. You want the truth.

We would say to you at this time, my brother, to keep that focus but to release the harshness of your determination and accept instead the knowledge that that determination has matured. You will not deviate from your seeking. You do not have to put guards upon yourself at this time. We would give you one word and that is, “Remember.” Whenever you have doubts as to the benefits of this process of refining the self in the fire of experience, ask yourself to remember and that will bring back to you the entire flood of knowledge of self and of all through which you have been. We hope that you can begin to respect the suffering that you have endured for what it is: a service to your own seeking.

For some, the choice of focus is one which does not take on this laser-like quality. There is a softness to the focus. You would even perhaps see it as fluffy or marshmallowy or sweet. That does not mean that they are not doing their work. It means that [what] they are suffering will be of a different quality. It would be, shall we say, of a quality that you might call messy or vague. Yet they are suffering and their process will go on much longer than your own in terms of getting to the point where they can begin to relax into their own truth. You wished for a steeper path on hard rock and so you have been climbing a mountain. And now, we must say to you, here is another challenge. Have you heard the saying, “First there is a mountain; then there is no mountain; then there is.”? This instrument knows these words by the song by the one known as Donovan. It is time for you to see no mountain but only the love and the light of the mystery of the one infinite Creator.

There will come a time for the laser view. When it comes, put on your hiking gear, grab your pitons, and go forth to scale the mountain. But know that you are in a world of illusion, when you so climb, that is somewhat different than the world of illusion in the stage when there is no mountain.

Now, the world where there is no mountain is a mystery too. A laser-like view has no value for it can bore through infinity forever and still there is no mountain. There is only a state of being in which the truth expresses itself in essence rather than in light. To say this another way, at a certain point you enter that nexus of self between the balance of love and the balance of light and you move from light to love, from wisdom to love, from articulated understanding to essential understanding. The adjustment to accept a mystery you cannot plumb and you cannot express is substantial. Give yourself the time to make these deep settling-in motions that you would feel when you settled into a new chair or when you first took the controls of a new car. It’s a little different to drive the car of essence than it is to drive the laser beam of seeking the truth. Know that you have not stopped seeking the truth but that you must balance such precise work with periods of allowing all that there is to be the ocean in which you swim, the air in which you breath, the earth upon which you walk, and the fire which warms you. You cannot get hold of things in this period to talk about them or to penetrate them. In a way, you are in mid-air. You have walked off the precipice. Shall you fall or shall your faith that all is well keep you comfortable and safe?

We believe that this entire process is precisely along the lines that your higher self and you chose when first you considered entering incarnation upon planet Earth and that all is indeed well. This is our perception. We hope that you too may find some truth to this perception and that you may give yourself that release from worry or concern that you may have missed a step or suffered in vain. We believe your pattern is unfolding in absolute perfection and we are with you, my brother, as are many entities and essences of spirit as you move forth in courage, confidence and peace.

Is there another query at this time, my brother?

D: Could you talk about the spiritual principles involved in the kind of extremity of suffering which I feel I’ve sort of had, through which I went, the kind of extremity of suffering through which I went?

We are those of Q’uo, and are aware of your query, my brother. The spiritual principle involved in the suffering which you have undergone is the principle of balance. Let us say that a great desire to serve can pull you away from the point of balance which is most helpful for your body, mind and spirit within incarnation, rendering you less useful than you were as an instrument for singing the song of your soul. You have a very individual, unique song to sing for you are a one-of-a-kind singer, as are all instruments of the one infinite Creator.

When such imbalance has occurred, through distortions created and enhanced during childhood especially, the inner self must choose its method of coming into balance again and becoming once again a more true, tuned instrument. The Creator wishes to play you most sweetly. The decision that you made was to pierce through the gloom of confusion, and so you did. This was a costly decision in terms of the suffering involved. It was also highly efficient. You burned a great deal of accumulated confusion. You polished the facets of your gem with great vigor and nerve. And we salute you, my brother, as a man of fire and principle, as a slayer of the dragon, shall we say. You have created for yourself a very friendly dragon who still loves the fire but will make you toast. You have come more and more into balance.

Where shall this search take you? We do not know, this is entirely your decision. But by such extremity of suffering, you not only climbed upon the cross of your perceived incorrectness, you have also freed yourself from that cross and ascended to your next paradise. There you shall also find ways to suffer, ways to learn, and ways, above all, to be kind and compassionate to yourself. As you rest in the mid-air of faith, know that you are a creature of unconditional love and that as you achieved the cross of suffering, so now you have achieved the redemption, the understanding of yourself.

This point of balance is always moving and your work shall never be done, any more than anyone’s work is ever done. The road, as it is said in this instrument’s [memory] of songs sung, goes on forever. The group is known as the Allman Brothers and this instrument greatly loves that song. The road, my brother, indeed, goes on forever. Nothing is finished, it merely spirals upward, ever seeking the love and the light that lies not without you, for you call it down into yourself by your seeking and seat it in the depths of your heart. Therefore, in that mid-air of faith, know that you rest in your own open heart.

May we answer you in any further way, my brother?

D: No, thank you, that’s fine. Thank you very much.

We thank you, my brother, and we would ask this group who has come together in sacred seeking if there is a final query at this time?

(No further queries.)

In that case, we leave you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. Thank you for giving to us this precious gift of time and space and such beauty as we cannot express. We are those known to you as the principle of Q’uo. We leave you, as we found you, in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai. Adonai.

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