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L/L Research Transcripts

ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF THIS TRANSCRIPT: This telepathic channeling has been taken from transcriptions of the weekly study and meditation meetings of the Rock Creek Research & Development Laboratories and L/L Research. It is offered in the hope that it may be useful to you. As the Confederation entities always make a point of saying, please use your discrimination and judgment in assessing this material. If something rings true to you, fine. If something does not resonate, please leave it behind, for neither we nor those of the Confederation would wish to be a stumbling block for any.

CAVEAT: This transcript is being published by L/L Research in a not yet final form. It has, however, been edited and any obvious errors have been corrected. When it is in a final form, this caveat will be removed.

Sunday Meditation

July 11, 1993

Group question: The question this afternoon has to deal with the fact that life seems to be composed of gains and losses, and we’re wondering about how we can use the losses that we feel in our life as means by which to increase our spiritual seeking or our service or our knowledge of ourselves. In a world of dualities, how is this duality of gain and loss, especially the loss, of help and of a tempering quality, shall we say. How does it aid our spiritual evolution, or how can we use it to aid our spiritual evolution?

(Carla channeling)

I am Hatonn. Greetings to all in the love and in the light of the infinite Creator. It is our privilege and blessing to be with you this day. We are most grateful to be allowed to share our thoughts with you and to enjoy not only the blending of our vibrations, but also the beauty of your surroundings as we see them through your consciousnesses. You ask us to speak about a certain kind of harvest this day, that plenty which is reaped, and garnered, and treasured when the seeking conscious self is faced with loss.

We would at this time transfer to the one known as S. I am Hatonn.

(S channeling)

I am Hatonn. We give to this instrument the concept of passion, and we would note that passion has its sorrowful side as well as its joyful side. We find that a life lived with an eye only to joy is a life which is bereft of half of life’s full passion. The task, not just for the conscious spiritual seeker, but for any who walk upon the highways and byways of this existence you now share, is to fully immerse oneself in the process of living, to accept life in all of its many colors and all of its many hues, to feel the full brunt and carry the full weight in all earnestness. To live a life of passion means to love living, and this includes even one’s sorrow.

At this time we would transfer the contact to the one known as M, expecting that M shall give our greeting and then pass the contact to the one known as Jim. In the love and light of the one Creator, we are those of Hatonn.

(M channeling)

I am Hatonn, and greet you again in the love and the light of the one infinite Creator. Transfer now to the one known as Jim. I am Hatonn.

(Jim channeling)

I am Hatonn. The passion with which one lives the incarnation is that energy which assures one that there shall be the joy and the pain combined in full so that one may experience the total vibrational frequency of this illusion and have at one’s disposal the full range of responses that one makes and which one may utilize in the formation of the character of the conscious spiritual seeker. Were there less range and choices, the seeker would have less to utilize in this construction. It is for advanced work, shall we say, that the seeker remembers that all is one, and that there is no true loss or gain, but a realization of unity that becomes more finely tuned as one feels the joy and the pain.

We shall now transfer to the one known as Carla. I am Hatonn.

(Carla channeling)

When the seeker beholds the harvest of joy, it seems natural and right to give praise and to offer thanks for the bounteous harvest which one may embrace with all of one’s passion. However, this passion seems to grow weak and ineffectual when presented with the bounteous ingathering of deep and deeply felt loss. The passionate heart cannot reason how to embrace, to praise, and to give thanks for this plenty, although that same entity may easily observe how much this harvest is an aid to the seeker of truth and love as it looks back in memory to reconfigure for the mind’s own understanding of self how the path to a new level of awareness was first graded and made passable by that very difficult harvest of loss.

We now transfer to the one known as S.

(S channeling)

I am Hatonn. The sense of loss bespeaks a separation. It is a separation, in the case of one who has died, that is easily understood, for one is no longer able to communicate in those old familiar ways with the beloved one. At a deeper level, however, the sense of separation registers as a kind of disharmony with all that is. One perhaps feels torn out of the sense that one may have had of being rooted in, or belonging to, an environment that is nurturing and welcoming, staring now at a hostile and unforgiving land. The separation then cuts quite deep.

We would at this time again transfer the contact to the one known as M, expecting once more that this instrument shall give our greeting, express whatever thought may come to mind, and then again pass the contact to the one known as Jim. We are those of Hatonn.

(M channeling)

I am Hatonn. I greet you in the love and light of the Creator. I would again transfer this contact to the one known as Jim. I am Hatonn.

(Jim channeling)

I am Hatonn. To feel the pain of loss is to feel, firstly, to awaken those inner sensing qualities that are also the same qualities that may experience joy. Loss is a way of sensitizing one’s fine perceptions, shall we say. This, of course, also includes the necessity for healing the self that feels torn and overly sensitized to pain. The healing that works upon the pain comes when the feeling of loss is placed within a larger framework for the mind, the emotions, and the spirit to feel as whole, thus placing the entity within a harmonized universe, yet retaining the increased sensitivity to all stimuli. With this increased sensitivity, the seeker then goes forth to renew its gathering of the harvest of catalyst.

We shall now transfer to the one known as Carla.

(Carla channeling)

I am Hatonn. How hard it is for those in your illusion to become able clearly to perceive any sense of comfort or nearness of truth or spirit when this cutting edge has cleft the world that was in twain. It is as though the seeker were suddenly stranded upon a hostile beach, from which stretched forward mile upon mile, mile upon mile, nothing but heat, dust, dryness and the thirst and starvation that comes to one far too long unwatered and unfed. How to grasp that larger picture which sees the true value of this dark bounty? How to stay within that desert in authentic mindfulness, and from that desolation bring forth that thanks and praise that is, seen in retrospect, the faith at this point [that] is truly, utterly and completely blind.

We now transfer to the one known as S.

(S channeling)

I am Hatonn. Though the vocation of the wayfarer involves an inveterate blindness, yet still the seeker yearns to see; and through the tears of anguish and the groans of pain may make out a sense of a greater meaning lurking and looming behind the events, the very events, which seem otherwise so dark. The seeker, bereft of all comfort and alone, finds yet there is some prospect of help, some prospect of solace in knowing that there is a meaning and a value to the experience which is currently endured, though the precise nature of this meaning lies just beyond the outstretched fingertips.

While it would often seem, oh, so easy to have resort to the wisdom that this experience after all is but an illusion, the sense of loss but a temporary blip on an ephemeral radar screen, yet to resort to this feeling overmuch is simply to anesthetize the self and to rob it of the very experience which it seeks.

There is a universal passion that one may aspire to. Did the teacher known to you as Jesus the Christ not have a passion which reached out to the very sorrow of humanity itself? In order to appreciate the enormity of the task of this teacher, however, one must realize that the passion of the Christ was not a comfortable experience. It was not a wise experience, but it rather was an experience in which a humble seeker reached as deeply as it could reach into a compassion which opened as on to a floodgate of pain. The pain, my brothers and my sisters, was there to be felt. It is not to be circumvented.

At this time we would transfer the contact to the one known as M. We are those of Hatonn.


(Carla channeling)

I am Hatonn. We thank the one known as M and assure this instrument that the amount of seating or grounding that has been accomplished during this time of working is quite excellent. The new channel being opened is still delicate and the energy of the beginning of the message is much like your starting load upon your electrical appliances wherein a great deal of energy, more than is needed for running, is needed for starting to run. This opening intensity which is required at the beginning of a contact has fairly thoroughly numbed the channel, and this is quite normal. We therefore encourage the new instrument and suggest that each attempt at bearing this starting load, as it were, refines and deepens the channel which has been opened in a tuned and focused manner so that there comes the time when that starting load is easily borne and is not that which takes the full focus and energy of the instrument.

We would at this time transfer to the one known as Jim.

(Jim channeling)

I am Hatonn. The loss of any portion of that which is perceived as important within the life experience makes one equal, shall we say, to all those who have suffered such loss. It is hoped that by working with loss the seeker will develop compassion, first for the self and the healing of the self for the loss, then in compassion for others who feel the same kind of loss. Eventually, this will hopefully develop compassion for all entities who suffer any loss. And as the seeker looks deeper within its own being at the many experiences gathered during the incarnation, it begins to see that all entities share the same in this illusion: the joy and exhilaration of being alive and of gaining those things which have value in this illusion, and the use of such for the growing and serving of others then balanced with the pain of loss, the removal of that which one thought was irreplaceable and of inestimable value. To realize that all is but temporary and illusory causes the seeker to find a means to understand, to use a poor term, the meaning of the life as it is lived. This impetus to search is yet another great fruit of loss.

We shall now transfer to the one known as Carla.

Carla: Could we please sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”? Chocolate Bar (a cat) has just caught my attention and I’d like to retune.


(Carla channeling)

I am Hatonn. We thank each for aiding this instrument in reestablishing the depth of contact that this instrument prefers. The purring of the kitten that shall mystify the scribe which places this message upon paper is that joy which rejoices in the …

(Side one of the tape ends).

(Carla channeling)

There is beyond this joy a passion and joy which contains a fullness which is the eventual realization of the great blessing of those desert times, those seemingly insufferable limitations, losses and agonies which take that which was the awareness of the self by the self and remove, while still living, that tissue of personal structure that seemed quite necessary.

The hollowing out of the rock by those forces of nature which cause the caves to be made, the hollowing out of clay which makes of the lump upon the potter’s wheel the empty and waiting chalice … this hollowing, this refining, this harvest of that which shall be transformed—how painful, yet how full of the terrible beauty that is that which we greet you in—the one great original Thought which is love, love that is seen in creation, love that is seen in destruction, love that speaks with thunderclap, as well as flower and tree and bird. How blessed are those who suffer. With what riches are they furnished. Only the one who has found the strength to offer praise and thanksgiving, not in spite of but because of suffering, may speak the greater and transforming passion and joy that endures throughout experience.

We would, if we could, spend your time in whatever amount you allowed us. However this instrument requests that we move onward. May we say how exhilarating it is for us to be able to work in this way, to be able to use the mind’s experience of each channel as we express our thoughts. We do thank each, and especially the one known as M, for the acceptance of our contact, and also for the desire each has to become ever more carefully and aimlessly aware of our contact, allowing our thoughts to flow throughout the group. This is indeed an advanced lesson, but we do feel that the results of such work are those which have the strong tendency to more and more balance those who function as channels in their willingness to be without need for knowledge of the portion of the information which is yet to come.

We would at this time open the meeting, therefore, for queries. If there is a query, please ask it at this juncture. I am Hatonn.


I am Hatonn. Again we thank each, and would at this time close through the one known as S. We leave this instrument in love and in light and transfer now. I am Hatonn.

(S channeling)

I am Hatonn. It is a source of tremendous joy for us to be able to participate in an offering which is like that of a table spread before a robust company of hungry guests. There are many servers at this table, and it is somewhat tempting for each who would serve to offer all that bounty the table has to supply. Yet it takes a certain faith in the greater process of serving and being served that one serves only that portion which is most readily available to one and leaves for others that service which is theirs to give in the conviction that all that shall be served shall in this manner find its home. We are most pleased.

We are most especially pleased to be able to greet the one called M into this robust company of guests and servers, for all serve. Those who remain silent serve just as surely as those whose tongues wag the most eloquently, vibrating with the joy of overt service. We, too, serve as we may, and we feel that it is most propitious now for us to serve again in silence. We are with any who request our presence in silent meditation. You need only ask. We are those joyful servants of the one infinite Creator, Hatonn. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.

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