camelot_2005

The weekend! It is always a time for rejoicing for those who work Monday through Friday at a job, and Jim is no exception. We rested until a luxuriously late hour and then rose to have a late morning offering. Jim cooked two of the four new dishes needed before lunch while I worked at cleaning up the e-mail Inbox.

After lunch, Jim went to the Camelot yard and undertook vast amounts of hedge clipping, tree grooming and chipping and shredding while I straightened the desk and slowly got to some general e-mail. Gary came in from work to finish his two recipes and by dinner time we were all set for food to eat this next week.

I continue to struggle to breathe. Mostly, I rested today, but was pleased to get the office cleared of desk work, the house cleared of boxes and household items to put away and the Inbox general e-mail answered up to September 10th. Never have I been more grateful for Flexall and hot pads!

October 2, 2005

The difficulty I have been having in breathing was not at all helped by my cat, Sedgwick, who decided, during a nap time this morning, to climb on to my chest. His twelve pounds or so seemed to re-disturb something in my chest and ratchet up the pain level. Further, the medicine I have been given seems to create a substantial side effect in blurring my vision and hearing. After attempting for a while to respond to e-mail I decided to pull back and work on something less challenging yet needed, so I worked, until 3 PM, on straightening out my Inbox folders better. I was working backwards from the end of the alphabet and got through half the “s” names before Serge’s visit.

Serge had come in to meet Jim and me. He showed up for his appointment an hour before the public meeting and we had a good talk. He said that our work had changed his life and he felt the need to come see us and tell us so. Serge has the hope of creating a web site (or niche on bring4th—he shall need to look into that) for people in need of prayer. I will put him in touch with Bruce and Jeremy as he has some programming skills we might be able to use in developing the bring4th site and he is willing to volunteer his expertise if we can use it. We are most fortunate to have the greatest volunteer help one could ask for in creating this whole labor of love that is L/L Research’s various efforts to build community on-line.

We had a silent meditation today because of my very weak condition. It was just splendid, a very good group, with Rob N, Melissa T, Gary B, Serge, Tom F, Jim and me in the circle of seeking. I do enjoy going into the silence and when I do this in a group setting, I seem to be more able to sustain the silence. I hope we will be able to make up the channeling next week.

October 3, 2005

Ah, the joys of starting the day with a hospital-type lab test! I showed up at the lab for an injection which has to be put into the body three hours before the actual test and the tech found a vein on only the second drilling. TGFSF! I was appropriately outfitted with three shots, all radioactive, apparently. The tech suggested gently that I drink a whole lot of water today to flush the stuff back out of my system. I’m drinking, I’m drinking!

The test itself went well. However, the first scan showed nothing. The doctor mentioned that only “gross results” show up in the initial picture. There are five pictures to examine. So hopefully tomorrow will yield more complete information and perhaps a diagnosis. I can heal from this without a diagnosis but when you “know” the cause of a pain or limitation it helps the ego to deal with it, so I would be glad of the knowledge. I would not be surprised, however, to have this remain a mystery. That would make it more of a challenge for me.

And that could well be part of the plan. The strategy of a psychic greeting which included substantial and rather claustrophobic pain, where I cannot catch a deep breath, is not just the pain but the emotional rattling of my cage, as I have a tendency towards claustrophobia. It is also demoralizing to be in pain for extended periods of time.

What is it to live the law of one? That is what our L/L Research life and the journals are all about. And when I cannot work, in the sense of getting things done on line with correspondence, editing and projects, I must fall back and do the work I can do, which is to live the Law of One in my essential being, in my thoughts, prayers and projections.

I have visualized myself in this crisis as a knight going forth with my armor of light and my lance of truth. For my armor of light, I fundamentally rely on following my Christ. He personifies service with no holds barred. I will follow my Master. To cheer me and focus my energies, I choose the Shaker song penned so long ago, in the 18th century, called “Simple Gifts”:

‘Tis the gift to be simple; ‘tis the gift to be free;
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
“Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained
To bow and to bend we shan’t be ashamed.
To turn, turn will be our delight
Till by turning, turning, we come ‘round right.”

Does this make linear sense? Not really, although I could make a case! But my sense of this issue is that somehow my ego got the idea that my outward gifts are important. While they may be helpful, they are not my essence. Outward gifts, in my case, involve complexity, subtlety, intellectual work and cleverness with words. They take up ego-driven issues like my “importance” to L/L Research. And if I am important to this effort, it is NOT in the above.

It is in how I am living the Law of One. It is in who I am. It is in my simple being. So this is my song, my visualization of my work ahead: to be simple, natural, and carefree. It does not matter if I do another thing in this life, if I can simply live the Law of One n my heart and in my thoughts. To live in my own open heart will bring me “‘round right” whether that means I live or die, thrive or perish. My soul and heart will live forever and the sweetness of my being, if I stay on my mighty steed of faith, shall prevail.

I tie a scarf to my lance. It is given me by the Holy Spirit, my guidance and my joy. She says to me in clarion tones that faith, persistence, firmly held hope and patience are my way. As the Bible says, “In quietness and confidence are my strength.” So my scarf, fluttering in the wind of change, reads: “Faith: the Final Frontier.” And I know that all is well.

I was in dire pain today. However, I was working as hard as ever I can or could, just working to BE, to be true to my heart, to be true to my faith: to be truly me. When outer work is stripped away as it is for me today, this is my agenda; this is that work that remains while breath is in my body: to know beyond all telling that all is well and that the work I came to embody in this life is perfectly working itself out.

Gary pulled a double shift so was only home for the Gaia meditation and the good conversation that followed. It was a day of conversation: Vara and I talked in the morning between the injection and my bone scan. Then Bruce showed up while Vara was collecting Kathleen and Parnell at the airport, and we had an impromptu planning session about the bring4th re-do. We are coming along well with that.

When Vara and the crew got back from the airport we had a good discussion of the week ahead. Bruce and Parnell shall go up to Avalon immediately and get started on work there, continuing on winterization, while Vara and Kathleen stay here one more day. Vara will do the books and I will find work for Kathleen I am sure!

Parnell installed a new CD changer for our meditation tuning songs, as our old one had ceased obeying our requests for songs and was playing pretty much what it wanted to, which was not helping the smooth running of the meetings! Hopefully the new machine will follow instructions from the person working the clicker!

Meanwhile Bruce, Vara and Kathleen went on a shopping trip looking for solutions to adjusting our recording protocol. Many options were tried but no decision or purchase made yet. We are getting closer to deciding to run the main recording off Traveller, my laptop, on CD, while retaining the recording on audiocassettes for backup.

After a communal dinner we conversed until I sought my bed, too tired to think any more! It was an unalloyed blessing to welcome Vara back from her trip and Kathleen and Parnell for their sojourn here. They should have a wonderful week to come, up on Avalon!

As for me, I believe I am getting slowly used to the new anti-inflammatory. I am only seeing one row of lights on oncoming cars now, and hearing better. Thank you, Lord!

October 4, 2005

Kathleen had arisen early along with Jim and me so she joined our Morning Offering. I worked on entries for previous days in the Camelot Journal and then stopped for the luxury of coffee and conversation with Kathleen, who was a workshop attendee back in the ‘80s and whom I greatly enjoy. After coffee I went to the notes for Vara’s and my upcoming planning session, getting those ready for our meeting later.

Then I worked on the to-do list for the transcribers group and for all our sites, which is currently named “So You Want To Help Camelot.” That’s to distinguish it from the other list we’re working on between Bruce, Vara and me, called “So You Want To Help Avalon.” We are trying to identify ways that people can volunteer their time and talent as well as their treasure. It is fairly easy to identify the ability to contribute money. You can simply say, “GIVE!” You can write fetching copy which makes people reach for their charge card. There is a huge amount of work to accomplish and money is always very helpful, period. I can’t tell you how it lifts my heart when people contribute! I can only wish people who can only give a little would catch fire with doing so! If a number of people started donating a dollar a month or five dollars a month, that would really mount up and really help. Or just pay in a dollar a download for sessions and so forth. A ton of hard work goes into producing each online session transcript.

However, it is far harder to enunciate and detail the oodles and scads of other ways to help us. That’s what these lists are intended to do, however, so we’re thinking out loud and working to put together a really cogent list of ways to volunteer time and talent. As well, we are trying to identify equipment we need, as some people are in a good position to donate that.

So I spent the remainder of the morning trying to list the various ways people can help get more of our library archive on line and otherwise safer and better preserved. We have huge amounts of reel-to-reel tapes and audiocassette tapes, for instance, which need transferring to CDs for sheer preservation.

It will take some time to get the work done of fully identifying our needs but I really do look so forward to sharing these to-do lists! I know help is on the way. But we do have to ask, and ask in such a way that people can see how they can help.

Vara, Kathleen and I went to the most divine of venues for the planning session, as Kathleen’s treat—my favorite restaurant in Louisville. It is a little place on the Ohio River called the Captain’s Quarters. You can sit outside under ancient trees and watch the barges and boats ride by on the sweetly flowing water while the sun glances through the branches and off the small waves of the river. We had a good session indeed, as is always the case with Vara, possibly the world’s best admin. She immediately scarfed up the to-do list, not to add anything yet but to note that it needed her re-design pronto. I believe she wants it in Excel, and heavily reorganized. My skill level is to do a table in Word and this has little to recommend it compared with what Vara can do! We also massaged my current channeling schedule and re-scheduled John P’s session as it conflicts with Vara’s schedule. I need to have a third person (besides the client, who is attending by telephone or in person) at my sessions and Vara most kindly makes the time each week to sit for a session while she is down at Camelot from Avalon, doing the books and any other items reserved for the amenities of town, like errand runs and supplying the larder on the farm.

Before Judy C got here at 4 PM I managed to write Ian, Bruce and Vara, following up on in-house issues on the web sites and sending Vara the to-do list to massage into better form and also to add her suggestions for good volunteering chores. Then Judy arrived and we had a wonderful Reiki session, the second of three she felt I could use at this time. I was floating in a state of peace and joy and in a new level of comfort when she left.

I had hoped to hear back from the lab sometime today but that did not happen.

The remainder of the day was spent at leisure and I even had an impromptu nap before supper and bedtime.

October 5, 2005

This was scheduled as a “new-editing” day. However the e-mail was rich in in-house e-mails and so the morning was spent in catching up with various issues. I wrote Bruce and Jeremy concerning the bring4th redevelopment. Ian had responded to my questions about whether he had any of our books already scanned with the welcome news that he has scanned Secrets of the UFO, A Channeling Handbook and A Wanderer’s Handbook, Abridged Version. This means that my hope of putting up the complete books instead of just the first three chapters of each book on the archive site is far more close to being done than I had dared to hope. So he and I discussed priorities. We agreed that the first priority was to get recent channeling up on site. As of right now, we are lagging behind by a couple of months on that score. When that was accomplished, then Ian could perhaps spend some time placing the printed books in the Library on www.llresearch.org.

Mark H had written me back about the filming he had done here and at Avalon in May to say that he has not had time to get to the editing of that work. I had told him that we had 19 hours of film from the Wooded Glen gathering and that I would be interested in knowing how he felt about combining the footage from Wooded Glen and his footage from May in creating an L/L DVD set. Mark had severe doubts about the production values of the Wooded Glen footage and so I suggested two things in my response to him: that he do a check on one of the WG tapes for production values and that he take a copy of the sound from his May footage so that I could get our transcribers group to work on making a complete transcript both of WG and the May footage. If the production values for the WG tapes are OK, we have a good deal more to work with than if we simply have the May footage. And with a transcript in hand of all the footage, either Mark or anyone else would have a far better idea of how to edit together the footage available.

I also invited Mark to attend our gathering this winter on the archetypes. It will likely be a small group that gathers to work on this topic, which is fairly arcane. The workshop will most probably be held either here or at Steve F’s place, which is a veritable mansion but still a private dwelling which he would donate the use of, thereby saving a good deal of money compared to having to rent hotel space. It would be great to have the meeting here at Camelot in terms of the convenience of such arrangements. However we can only accommodate three or four people here. If we collect more than that as attendees, we shall need to travel the half hour or so to Steve’s place each morning in order to have a more comfortable place for the larger group to work for the day. Steve also has enhanced kitchen and dining facilities compared to Camelot, where we have no dining room whatsoever, having traded in that space for our office here. Mark could create more footage during this gathering.

I also finalized, or thought I finalized, a channeling session with John P. All went well until I found that John expected us to do the session for him for free. I find that hard to fathom, since it was clear in earlier correspondence that not only did I need to reserve my time for the work—and it is work—but also I needed to reserve Vara’s time, which involves an expensive drive down to Louisville from Avalon and an overnight stay for her. As well, there is the commitment to taping and making a transcription of this material and sending both to him. In all, it is a commitment of considerable womanpower and hard-learned skill. Sometimes one simply has to shake one’s head in wonderment at what people are thinking.

Writing the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday finished the morning work time. After lunch I edited V’s personal channeling session which had taken place on September 5th. That session had a main question which concerned dealing with worsening health and more physical limitations and I was eager to revisit the session. It turned out to be a real treasure trove of good thoughts for me today and I was very glad to be doing this work right now.

Just as I finished that editing and had barely gotten started on editing the second half of the Forest Row speech from June it was time to go back once again to doctorland and have a bone density test. Gary kindly took me to that. All went well, with no one asking me for a vein, no contrast dye, no blood needed! I was cheering! They reported that the bone scan results were not in yet from two days ago, but promised to call me with the results of both tests whenever they came in.

After we returned to Camelot I went back to the Forest Row edit and made good progress on it before bath time. Then I went to choir practice at St. Luke’s while Jim went to the airport to collect Romi, who is returning from his visit to the Czech Republic to visit his mother.

Later in the evening Jim chose to have a work period, keeping the L/L Research books for September up to date as he has done for 25 years. I went back to the Forest Row speech and got about 2/3 of the speech edited before bedtime.

October 6, 2005

My rebellious nature surfaced early this morning when I awoke early and realized I was “supposed” to be working on old editing today. On the other hand, I had gotten partway through the second half of the Forest Row speech yesterday and had a desire to see that through to the end. So I yielded to my own whim and used the very early morning to steam most of the way through the editing of that second half of the speech.

After morning offering Jim went off into the glorious sunshine of our very last summery day for this year to mow and Gary took off to do a double shift at Cracker Barrel. I got the entry in the Camelot Journal posted and then it was time for my rhythmic massage appointment at Fox Hollow. Dr. Johnson has prescribed this series of massages as a means of further balancing my body systems at the etheric level, where he believes a lot of my health concerns arise. According to him, I have never fully “incarnated.” With one thing and another, I know I am working on that now!

I returned in time for a quiet lunch and then it was time to square off and tackle the office, which had gotten sadly cluttered. Jim’s new work shoes had come in and I uncrated them and placed them in his room. Our new toner supply for Jessica, our printer, was unboxed and stored. Medicine I receive by mail was unpacked. The mail had not been worked for a while and so I had a little mail-opening festival, marveling at the abundance of wasted paper that crosses our path in the form of catalogs. I believe some companies send them out weekly. In one day we might get three inches’ worth of them to recycle. I mourn the trees! Yet I do a lot of catalog ordering, so call me a whitewashed sepulcher! That’s a hypocrite with Biblical overtones for those of you who don’t do the Bible!

Back to the editing at last, I managed to finish the speech and send it off to Ian. As well, I printed out the personal session for V which I had finished yesterday, in its rough draft form, and got that ready to send off to her. That was the last document we were able to print, so those toners came in just in time. I tried to figure out which toner needs replacing but my first attempt was unsuccessful. I sent off a note to Vara asking for advice!

There were quite a few books which had come in to the Library and I took the time to access them before tackling the Book of Days project. By this time it was almost 5 PM and I got very little done—five days’ worth, up to Day 37. That’s a very small amount of work, but at least I made some forward progress on what I was supposed to be doing today! And oh, it felt so good to have the Forest Row speech done. At our last planning session, Vara had offered to take that speech and create a slide show to display behind the talk. We both felt it was perhaps the best of the British speeches. Now I can send her that whole speech so she can play with it at her leisure.

For the first time, today, I was able to move through the day with only the relatively mild chest pain that never causes me to grunt! I still must move slowly and carefully and with thought. I still must keep the pussycats off my chest. But the double vision that was a side-effect of the Etodolac seems to be gone; I can hear OK again; the dramatic pain has been reduced to a manageable ache and in general, my world has returned to some semblance of normalcy. What a great blessing! I still await some news of what in the world this chest pain signifies but I do not need to know what the source of it is in order to heal from it. If I am very fortunate, the cause will be something ephemeral like the change of season affecting some joint I don’t even know I have in the chest wall. Here’s hoping! For the season is poised to change! It was a sweet day, full of roses blooming and clouds fluffing up in a mackerel sky, with no indication yet of the chill predicted for overnight. I spent the last of the twilight walking the yard, enjoying the warmth and seeing the first of the massive color changes in the redbuds, dogwoods and maples. It is a lovely, bittersweet, poignant moment in the cycle of seasons.

October 7, 2005

The morning dawned gray and misting, as chilly and dank as yesterday was warm and inviting. Jim could not mow, so after we got his ailing truck, Sybil, to the radiator repair shop for replacement of that essential part, Jim settled in to a morning of alternate work, trading some Saturday work for Friday. He mailed off some book orders and then got the recipes together, made a grocery list and went off in Stanley, my Outback, to hunt and gather the groceries for cooking for next week. I got the Camelot Journal entry up for yesterday and settled in to a morning of forum posting. It was most enjoyable. I enjoyed responding to some posts and reading them all on the bring4th forum.

Lunchtime came all too soon! Jim treated me to one of his specialties, homemade French toast, and then he went off to mow at last. I was supposed to take the rest of the day off but I found myself greatly torn, as I had not made it to the other forums to catch up. I tried reading the other posts but found that the level of thought in them was excellent, too high for me to slough off with scanning. Very reluctantly—and this just goes to show ya, I am a woman who loves her work—I yielded the day to the concept that I need time off each week just for me. I found it amazingly hard. Just one more e-mail! No, just one MORE e-mail. And so forth. I finally disconnected myself from this process of cheating my own time off at about three PM and did enjoy kicking back with a good book for the rest of the afternoon until about seven.

It turned out that Jim was mowing quite late today, so I got back on the computer in the interest of updating my Christmas gift list and got that set for this year before quitting entirely for the day. On came the TV and I fell asleep in the chair!

Vara and Kathleen stopped in to check on me and on Jessica, our printer, which had shut down yesterday. Jim had changed the black toner and Jessica was purring again, so they gave me a hug and took off for Avalon for a little more time there before Kathleen’s vacation time is over. She reported having a wonderful time there! They both reported soreness from all the activity of winterizing Sugar Shack as well as from laughing prodigiously at humor shared with Parnell. I’m excited that the winterizing project is moving along so quickly. Hopefully, by the time warmth is needed, warmth will be there! Fortunately the wood stove works well and the supply of winter wood is stacking up nicely as Bruce and crew clear various places needing to be groomed for one reason or another.

Romi stopped by to join us for the Gaia meditation, as he often does, and brought pictures of his stay with his Mom and brother, Dushon, in Brno. His brother lives in the USA also, but they both were visiting Mom in the Czech Republic, their birth home, and seeing to some repairs on her apartment which the landlord would not do. He was still experiencing jet lag so we were both dozing while watching the Stargate saga on TV. We said our goodnights at 11 PM and headed for bed.

October 9, 2005

I awoke with a fair amount of chest pain, a discouraging recurrence. However I decided to move ahead with the day and was very glad I did, as the activity did not seem to affect the pain level at all, and I enjoyed the activities of the day. The morning routine of doing the puzzle, scarfing down my luxury-food doughnuts from Krispy Kreme, attending choir practice and singing the service at St. Luke’s ended with my getting a fast-food feast for Jim and me on the way back from church. The sermon today had a good bit to say about the advantages of pruning back one’s activities so that the Lord could find some room in our lives for new growth. I thought that was most synchronistic with my trying to taking time off and do “nothing useful” for two afternoons, yesterday and the day before.

After lunch I worked on general e-mail for a while, then Jim and I had our bath and we welcomed the folks who showed up for our L/L meditation meeting. Vara and Kathleen came down from Avalon. Melissa, Romi and Tom joined us and Tim called in from Australia to join us telephonically. We enjoyed a good round-robin discussion and then a make-up channeling session, as we had missed our usual channeling last Sunday due to my illness. Afterwards we settled in to a conversation with refreshment provided by Romi—he prepared tea and cookies and had brought back some liqueur-flavored chocolates from the Czech Republic as well. A votre sante! Both Vara and he had pictures to share, which is always enjoyable. Vara had pictures of her home town of Winona, Minnesota, a lovely place on the Mississippi River rich in water and trees, from which she had just returned after visited her Mom for her birthday. Romi’s pictures were of his “home town” of Brno, where his Mom lives, and a castle nearby where he went with her for a holiday tour. I thought to myself, now, that castle is big enough for all our L/L Research doings! I could definitely find room for our Library there!

While Jim watched some football I worked more on the Inbox folders. I believe I have now finished the initial clean up, dividing Personal e-mail people from Web-site people and sorting out the transcribers and others who do special jobs for us from the general folders. Some of the people had three and four folders holding their mail in different parts of the Inbox. It felt great to comb out this mess!

October 8, 2005

Jim worked in the kitchen cooking for next week while I whittled away at the general e-mail in my Inbox. I got up to September 12th by lunchtime. Gary came in midafternoon and finished up the last recipe, so we’re all stocked with food for next week.

I took the time after lunch to do some e-mail to in-house people on ongoing concerns before drifting off into a nap. When Jim finished maintenance on his mowers for the week, having been hampered from doing that on Friday because of late mowing due to rain Friday morning, he came in and turned on the football—both U of Louisville and Nebraska were on the tube—and we watched that together for a while. I decided to clean up a bit at the desk in the late afternoon and worked on my Inbox folders. What a mare’s nest! This will take a while!

I could feel the beneficial effects of taking these two afternoons off. In both cases I had a late start, but eventually did disconnect from L/L Research concerns and ended up greatly enjoying napping, reading and generally fooling around with minor, personal concerns. Admittedly the Inbox clean-up could be considered an L/L concern, but it is such a low priority compared to other things that it becomes a personal matter. I just love straightening things out!

Jim and I talked about the garden here at Camelot. We need to order our tulips in order to plant this fall. Jim will check out local tulip suppliers with his wholesalers before I order from the catalog source. Jim will also check on azalea bushes to replace lost plants in the cruciform patio area.

October 10, 2005

The day began with doing the Camelot Journal entries for the last couple of days and preparing for the planning session with Vara. Vara and I then sat down together to deal with current issues. She asked if I would call Falk Audio Services to track down the Master we have for Nurturing, a channeling session tape which we had been offering for sale. It has taken over ten years to sell out of its 100 copies and the hopes we had of producing a whole series of channeled sessions for sale did not come to anything. We still feel it is worthwhile to prepare a series of sessions for people to purchase but we need to find a better way to offer those. Meanwhile, I need to get Gary Falk to send me back a copy of that master so I can find out what date that original session was done and if we even have it transcribed online. Back when we copied that session for use, Ian had not yet gotten older sessions up on line so we may never have transcribed this session. We sold out the last tape without noting its date of channeling—a definite oversight! LOL.

We’re waiting on the T-shirt supplier’s OK on Vara’s design on our brand new T-shirts for Avalon and the hang-up is getting troublesome, as Christmas is coming and our readers like to give the T-shirts for gifts. Vara will write Tracy and I will write Jamie—the husband and wife team who create our T-shirts as a service to L/L Research—asking them to check on the hold-up.

Vara and I went over the “So You Want to Help” page for Avalon and found many ways to improve the introductory text, bringing that up to date. I will rewrite that and send it back to Vee for her final “boo” before the planning session with Bruce the Bear this coming Friday to get the text in as good a shape as possible. The text needs to be followed, in its on-site form, by a really good table of how people can help in terms of money, donations of equipment and machinery and ways they can help by working, offering the various skills that are needed. Hopefully Bruce will be able to move forward far more easily with these latter three tables/lists after seeing the improved intro text.

Lunchtime came just as Vara and I finished up and Jim and I had a most pleasant treat—lunch together! After that break I got back to the computer and checked to see whether my Inbox folders were finally straight. The answer was a resounding “No” as I found a whole mare’s nest of at least 100 folders which had somehow been segregated into a large folder named “mail for Carla.” I spent an off-task, off-topic but wholly satisfying couple of hours distributing that back mail into its proper folders. Now my Inbox finally makes sense, and hopefully now every piece of mail is sitting in the ONE folder assigned to each person, rather than being distributed over several folders for that person in various places on my Inbox! This is the goal, anyway! I had spent some fruitless and frustrating time lately just trying to find documents I really needed, so it is most satisfying to have created order here!

I worked with both Ian and Bruce by e-mail on the issues involved with creating one order form for all sites which has all options on it: PayPal, charge cards and e-checks. This is more complex than it might seem! It will probably take an extended conversation to work out the glitches in doing this, but it is a worthy effort. Currently, we do not have a good order form, only one you can print out and send or fax, which is a drag for our readers. The new form will be one people can use right on line.

I called Gary Falk to ask him to send us the “Nurturing” tape. Then Judy arrived for our Reiki session and I settled in for an hour of heaven. The Reiki energy is such a joy to experience. I know it is charging my batteries! Judy’s love and dedication just open my heart.

My health situation does not seem to be improving, either in the area of the chest pain or in the area of gut distress. I have an appointment later this week with a specialist who will follow through with the intestinal distress. I believe my current options for determining a diagnosis for the chest pain are ended, so I will visualize healing without needing to know any diagnosis!

The day ended with Jim’s and my bath and supper, a Gaia meditation and a most pleasant time watching the Stargate block of shows with Vara and Gary before bedtime.

October 11, 2005

I slept gloriously late, arising after 7! That’s the latest I have slept in months! What a treat. However, I was scrambling to get downstairs in time to be on schedule with Jim, who needs to be out the door on time to get his full day of gardening and mowing done.

After our morning offering both he and Gary were out the door to work and I opened the e-mail to find that some in-house work needed doing to progress on the matter of a new order form for all our web sites to use. It’s a bit complicated, since on Ian’s www.llresearch.org site, the present form has a good deal of explanatory material that he very much wishes to keep, although it does not meet the needs of Bruce’s www.lawof1.org or www.bring4th.org sites. The llresearch site is run by a web guy, Ian, with one personality and the other two sites are run by a guy, our Bear, with a whole other personality! Their approaches are very different. Ian, of llresearch, really appreciates that L/L Research works by donation and all our prices are suggested donations. So he has a good bit of text explaining that.

We have a policy, honed over long years of service, for people who write in saying they cannot afford our books. These are mostly prisoners, although we have also had people in the free book program who are very young, very old or simply very poor. The policy is that anyone may write in, explaining that they need the books but cannot pay. They can select one book and we will mail it out for free. When they are ready for another book, they can again write us and ask for their next selection, and so forth. We used to send out more than one book at a time. Then we found prisoners were using the books to trade for items like cigarettes. There is always a way to abuse generosity! Speaking of generosity, thanks to all those who donate to support our aid to prisoners and others who ask for free material! No one has ever been turned away.

Bruce, on the other hand, is very comfortable with the concept of selling the books, making some money for L/L Research and having a store. (And we do need the money for funding our various and very good works!) So his approach is quite different. I welcome both approaches to the issue of sending out books and tapes. If one takes away the various biases of society, the issue is much simplified. Whether it is a donation or a retail cost, money changes hands and we need an order form to handle the details!

Bruce has worked up a PayPal order form so that it functions for us, which is way more than we had before on any site. Our previous form did not work directly online; it had to be printed out and faxed or mailed. This one will work right on the web sites! As well, it will handle PayPal, charge cards and e-checks. Our designer, Vara, will now take a good look at that form and create a better looking version of it. It will be available on all the sites, once it is finished. This is so great! Many thanks to the Bear, whose initiative this was, and to Ian and Vara for their aid also.

After this matter was taken care of with e-mails all around I got the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday written and turned to general e-mail clean-up until lunch while Vara finalized the financial books for this week.

Kathy G had a personal session with the Q’uo group first thing after lunch, so I tuned while Vara set up for the session. Kathy called in right on schedule, a nice change from two no-show sessions in a row in the last couple of weeks. It was a transparently beautiful session, I thought, surprisingly sweet and gentle in tone. The question—she had several—the Q’uo chose to dwell upon for most of the session was a question about how to get more specific contact with one’s guidance. Kathy was most appreciative and I had the sense that it was a very good session for her. It did go long, but the energy was there for it and Vara and I enjoyed doing it with Kathy. Vara’s service here is exceptional, I must say! It is a real treat to do a session with her assistance, as she is an excellent battery as well as being able to handle the technical aspects of the taping and also to get the needed information from the client with panache.

After sending Kathy her tape and finishing the e-mail clean-up I got to the supposed task for the day, editing! I edited the channeling which finished the Wooded Glen gathering and sent that off to Ian. It should be up on site soon, as he is taking a vacation from his current project, which does not have to do with us at all, in order to catch us at L/L up on site work. Bless him! Ian also wrote to say that A Wanderer’s Handbook, Abridged Version, is now up on line in its entirety in the Library on www.llresearch.org. He is next going to tackle putting up the five volumes of the Law of One series as coherent books. (We already have the work online in the Transcripts section of the Library session by session.)

My health remains marginal, with intestinal woes added to chest pain, making getting around a bit of a challenge today. However, Judy, at yesterday’s Reiki session, shared with me her impression that it was very important for me right now to know that all is well and to keep the faith. I felt that was vitally true and central to my process at this time. For those of you who read this journal and are concerned for me, please include in your thoughts and prayers this certainty that all is indeed well and in perfect order.

I have had poor health, in terms of both intestinal woes and rheumatoid and arthritic difficulties, for many a decade (intestinally, since birth; rheumatically, since age 13 and I am now 62) and in the ‘80s and early ‘90s I hovered very close to death for a long time. So this level of ill health I am now experiencing is relatively mild. It cannot be said to be comfortable and yet I am able to lead a fairly normal life, which is cause for rejoicing. So please share in my thankfulness for that, and for being here on Earth at all. It will be wonderful to embrace fuller health, and I know that will come as I gradually come back into balance. The summer virus knocked me off that fragile balance and I have yet to re-find it. But I will! And meanwhile, I believe that what is occurring is perfect and exactly what needs to happen. So rest with me in faith, and thank you for your love and prayers.

October 12, 2005

This morning was spent playing catch-up with in-house issues to do with the web sites and our order form in-the-making. When the latest round of communication was done there I spent some time working with the transcribers list, finalizing the new list. After all the old transcribers were written and asked if they still wished to volunteer, they had until two days ago to respond, a bit less than two weeks. That time has now passed. We have 13 out of 30 old members continuing, which I think is a wonderful rate of sustained activity. The transcribing task is an exacting one. It is time-consuming and at times can be maddening, as tapes are sometimes hard to hear and the words are unclear. It is no wonder that some have found it not to be possible to continue. To have almost half the members re-enlist was a marvelous thing.

I spent some time creating a letter to the newly signed-up members and one for the folks who did not re-up. However, I need to get the complete list of things to do for Camelot’s portion of L/L Research up on Ian’s site before sending the letters out so they can go to the site and that list directly, see their choices and let me know what project they would like to tackle. I sent Vara’s new and improved Excel version of my Camelot needs-and-wants list to Ian and asked him to put it up on www.llresearch.org. He was glad to do so! But he does not use Excel and his computer cannot read it. So I went back to Vara and asked her if she could change the Excel spread sheet into a Word document which Ian’s software can read.

After lunch I went to work on the Avalon needs list. Vara and I had massaged that text last Monday and I went through it several times re-writing it, trying to create ways to help Bruce organize the many wants and needs we have at the farm for money, equipment and volunteer skills. Sometimes organization makes all the difference in terms of being able to create a good level of communication on a complex project like Avalon. I felt at the end as though we had a document that was much better as a starting point than we had before. We shall see at Friday’s planning session with Bruce how effective the re-write actually was.

I started editing Jim C’s channeling session from late August but had to stop in order to keep a doctor’s appointment, following through with Dr. Aboud’s looking into reasons for my continued intestinal woes. This specialist did not seem helpful. He drilled again for four tubes of blood for various tests and talked vaguely of other doctor’s mistaken diagnoses and the possibility that I had something called sprue. Now there’s a new venture! I believe, in sum, that this was a total waste of my time and his. Medically, this is often the way things are! Especially in the area of internal medicine, AMA doctors have no clue.

After Jim and I had our bath I went off to choir practice and then Jim and I went to listen to jazz. I write a column for the Louisville Jazz Society Newsletter telling stories people, both musicians and fans, tell me about their experiences in the local scene. Here in Louisville we have a lively jazz community, remarkable for such a small city. It is fun to talk with friends old and new and hear and repeat the tales that make us laugh and enjoy each other.

We heard some great sounds from Greg Walker and Jeanette Kays and I obtained no less than three e-mail addresses from new people who promised to reminisce online for me.

I call these my red-hat nights since that’s my signature as a columnist—I have a red baseball cap I wear most jazz nights, with the logo of the Louisville Jazz Society on it, unless I am going to a more uptown venue to listen to music, in which case my red hat will be more conventionally “dressy.” I have ended up collecting quite a few red hats since I began writing this column a couple of years ago as a favor to the president of the Jazz Society who is an old, old friend. You know how it is—once people know you are a red-hat person or that you collect anything, they tend to produce red hats for you, or whatever you’re collecting. Most gift hats, however, are too large for me as my head is tiny, a child’s head really.

My Dad was a jazz drummer and a member of the Louisville jazz scene from about 1950 through 1990 or so when he died and was one of the LJS founders back in the ‘60s. So it is open-heart work and a good memory of Pop to do this column.

October 13, 2005

I woke early on this wonderfully misty day and spent the early hours writing up yesterday’s journal entry and going through the new e-mails. After morning offering I got documents ready for tomorrow’s planning meeting with Bruce, with many thanks to Vara, who had read through my rough drafts on the want lists for Avalon and Camelot and made many suggestions.

Then I wrote Ian on the interesting subject of future projects and thoughts for our archive site. He is thinking of system-wide changes to modernize but does not want to leave users with older browsers behind, so we must change slowly and carefully.

That brought me to time to go to Fox Hollow for the third of a series of four rhythmic massages Dr. Johnson feels will improve the balance within my electrical body or chakra system. What a pleasant hour that was! I fell asleep on the table and woke feeling most relaxed.

I came home to find it was time to grate cheese. I am fond of omelets made with blended cheeses and I had run out of my previous supply. Gary had thoughtfully provided me with the raw ingredients and I used my Mouli grater to secure a new, abundant supply. Then I found some leftover onions to chop and made bacon, fried the onions and created an omelet for lunch, which timed out perfectly with Jim’s getting home for our treat—lunchtime together.

I edited on the Book of Days up through Day 45 and then was overcome again with sleep, which fit in perfectly with my plan to take a half-day off. For the rest of the day I read and watched junk TV. Jim and I discussed the garden and we decided to add some azaleas in the back yard and re-order tulips for the front planting along the parking area and for the “Wuthering Heights” stone garden in the front yard.

Gary cut the lawn and trimmed up the borders at Camelot today. The oaks are yellowing, the dogwoods and redbuds are changing color and autumn is with us. Jim changed out the blades on his big mower, Thetis, so she now has “Gator Blades” to tackle what will be an ever-increasing leaf fall from now through the end of the mowing season. The gator attachment chews up the leaves so finely that they become invisible but useful mulch and almost all of his customers prefer that way of dealing with the leaves in the fall.

October 14, 2005

When Jim and I had gone out for our red hat night listening to jazz we had found that Stanley’s tail lights were not working. So our day started with an early ride to Bachman Subaru’s service department to get them fixed. I had hoped that they would find it was a fuse. No such luck was mine. I had to leave the car there, which was not at all my wish as I needed to get up to Avalon for the planning meeting with Bruce.

I spent the morning reading up on the forum posts and responding to a few. At the last possible moment I heard from Bachman. They had not been able to get Stanley to malfunction and so were ready to turn him loose. The tail lights were working perfectly. I was shuttled over to Stanley and I set out for Avalon a full half-hour behind schedule. I picked up Bruce and we had burgers and worked through a full agenda at our planning session.

We reviewed my suggestions for working with the Wooded Glen material. He felt they were straightforward and would work fine. Jeremy, fresh from his honeymoon, with a new place to live and a new job, had disappeared below radar, most understandably, and nothing had been done in developing my ideas by him, so it was good to hear from Bruce that the basic plan was OK as far as he could see.

The bulk of the meeting time was taken up working with the need lists for Avalon and Camelot. The Bear liked the idea of separating the needs list for Avalon into projects. However, while he felt the present arrangement of projects was good in the text, he felt strongly that the approach was bad. He gave me some suggestions as to how he would like the text to be altered and corrected a good many details throughout the three pages of text. Bear feels we need to create a text with pictures. I asked him for the pictures and he offered to create a CD for me which has all his Avalon pictures on it, so that I can choose my own. Before I rewrite the text—now for the third time—I shall need to get those pictures from Bruce.

We worked through the Camelot needs list together and again he had several excellent suggestions. They will all need considerable follow-through efforts on my part.

We discussed the details of his gradual shift to spending more time on Avalon. We sadly lack warm quarters for him, and we talked about options without coming to any conclusions. He would like eventually to spend all his time on Avalon and not have to waste time coming and going as he does now. I have heard this before, from Peter B in Britain, a bio-dynamic farmer there who said his chief hope was to be able to live on his farm, as that morning and evening time, now lost to him, living afar off, would then be available. He said, wistfully, “That half hour before breakfast is such good time.”

We set up a better protocol for sending our session tapes to him. Bear has been working with our channeling session tapes for the last few months to produce streaming audio versions of those tapes. He would like to do more of that and saw some possibilities for creating an income stream from the sale of these audio versions of the special sessions. It is a most interesting idea and ties in with Parnell’s and Blue Eagle’s thoughts concerning the possibility of creating an L/L Research e-zine between them.

We stopped back by Bruce’s computer so that he could teach me how to get on line and use the forum software that has stumped me in the past. I managed a test e-mail! We shall see if I can duplicate my success when alone! The way it works baffles me still, as rather than seeing each day’s new entries by chronology, one must go after each subject which exists in its own little stream. I much prefer receiving the new day’s thoughts on that day. I shall have to see what I can do to accommodate myself to this. Unlike other forum posters I do not come to the site each day to see what is new but rather work with forum posts on a weekly basis. I imagine I will find a way!

Then I dropped in at Avalon. The place was humming with winterizing activities and was full of good fellowship. I did not want to stop the activity so did not stay long but went to sing to Avalon and was on my way home by 6 PM. I feared keeping Jim waiting at bath time but he, too, had been late in finishing his day’s work. By the time I had landed, put away my gear and disrobed, the bath water was just ready. We had a lovely Friday night of sci fi favorites and a leisurely evening together.

Gary got in from his Army duties in time to join us for the Gaia meditation. He was excited to realize that he has only five more training weekends before his Reserve duties come to an end. He has great hopes that he will be rotated out, for good, without his unit having been called up for duty outside the United States, This is his devout wish, as he is not one who feels we as a nation should be in the middle of the Iraq civil strife. Having been of active-duty age when Viet Nam was going on back in the ‘60s and early ‘70s, I know what it feels like to be in a fight where one feels war has been used as a tactic to control resources and sway policy in American interests where it should not have been chosen at all as a tactic; where diplomacy should have been our “weapon.”

I remember, in early childhood back in the ‘40s, the immense pride all Americans took in the fighting and outcome of World War II. There was no equivocation. We were in the right. I believe that was the last war we Americans have been in which felt like a righteous battle. The bad guys were clearly bad and we Americans were clearly heroes.

Further, when that war was over we spent time and money restoring battlegrounds and relationships with the nations which had served as battlegrounds.

In no conflict since then have the ethics of the fighting been so lucid and clear. In this latest go-round, the role of our troops is quite badly compromised, although I am sure the troops themselves are doing their level best. And Americans are no less patriotic. This is just a “bad war.” Aggression is simply a bad policy which should come last of all alternatives, not rushed into with loud talk.

As Americans we have been sucked into following a leadership whose rhetoric sounds more and more like those who are acting as an empire bent on world conquest. Not only does that kind of thinking dismay me as a believer in the rights of all the nations of the globe to govern themselves; it seems to me to be bad government and bad judgment. It certainly has landed us, in the Iraq conflict, in the middle of a toxic civil war. We really have no business there, except to protect our oil interests. And these interests need to be addressed with the tools of diplomacy and international government rather than tossing cannon fodder at the situation. So I greatly sympathize with Gary! I pray our government rethinks this situation drastically in the months to come.

October 15, 2005

Ah, what can be better than a sunny, brisk autumn day? Gary was off again very early for Army duty but Jim and I got to enjoy football season. The morning was taken up for Jim with yard clean-up, hedge trimming and flower-bed weeding. And once again we are in draught, so all day Jim was switching the water around the yard, getting our little acre’s plantings happy again. Meanwhile I took my time working to catch up Journal entries. I had two days to catch up on the Camelot Journal and an entry to make for Avalon as well. Then I began to process the substantial notes and reminders that I’d developed during Bruce’s and my planning session.

After lunch I rested and read, enjoying my two hours “off”! Well, I gave that day-off thing a nod and a whistle, anyway! I will do better next week, when I do not have a channeling session scheduled! The channeling session had come about because Sandie and Steve could not come to have a session with me during the week, as Steve has responsibilities of the 9-to-5 type. Sandie is like me in that she has plenty of responsibility but all she needs is a computer and time: she can work at home and so can make her own schedule. Steve is President of a software management company and so needs to be on hand at the office for his staff during the day. So their only available time to do a session was the weekend. My Saturday mornings are usually spent cooking, and my Sundays are booked from stem to stern with church and our meditation meetings. Saturday afternoon was our best bet.

Sandie is editor of an e-zine called Planet Lightworker. Do take a look—it’s a marvelous publication. Sandie has several very successful books out (just Google Sandie Sedgbeer or key her name in at www.amazon.com to see her work.) Planet Lightworker Magazine’s address is www.planetlightworker.com.

Previously she had excerpted a portion of A Wanderer’s Handbook in that magazine and the response from the readership had been very favorable. There were also continuing requests from the readership for channeling and so Sandie conceived of the idea of our doing a special monthly series of Q’uo sessions using questions that came in from the magazine’s readership. We had created a whole range of possible questions to inaugurate the series and all through September those questions were up on Planet Lightworker Magazine as a poll for the readership to vote on. The question people overwhelmingly chose was one about densities and rates of vibration. So we sat down after I tuned for the session and asked the Q’uo group about densities and vibrations and how to work with these concepts. The session seemed to go very well.

Jim stayed home after the session with his two football games—he was watching both U of L and Notre Dame get upset, and got upset himself to the point of venting a bit when I got back home—while Steve and Sandie treated me to a lovely dinner at Applebee’s. I got back just in time to connect with Saint James for the Gaia meditation, after which Jim cleaned the kitchen, starting into his weekend cleaning routine.

Gary arrived home and made a dash for his bed, as once again he will have an early start for his last Army day this month. Jim and I ended the day with Jim doing my nails, at which he is surprisingly good, compared to my abysmal talents, and then we had a strengthening, comforting and altogether grand snuggle before bedtime. There’s no Compline service better than simple touch between mates who are grounded in the Creator.

October 16, 2005

It was a radiant day, brilliant with sunshine and drenched in beauty. The leaves are just beginning to turn here, at least two weeks late in this warm, warm fall. I wore a suit to church which felt perfect in the chill of early morning. By the time the service was over it was in the 70s and the jacket was de trop. The service was a delight, with good preaching and music wonderful to express and fun to sing. I really have found a new church home! It is a precious gift.

After a fast-food lunch Jim and I both did desk work, answering e-mail. Soon it was time for a bath and the public Sunday meditation and study meeting. We had a very small crowd today, Connie M coming in from Columbus, IN and Tim calling in from Australia. Jim had a question for the Q’uo on the issue of being dedicated to an outcome. They seemed to enjoy that question a lot and we had a good meeting.

After the session Connie offered a long and luxurious Reiki session to me. Romi usually fixes tea for the group after a session but he was away at a Peace Corps event so Jim made the tea and Connie had brought cookies. Gary came back from his Army stint and we all enjoyed dinner together and some good conversation. All of us have been aware of tremendous energies flowing through our lives in waves. Many of our friends are experiencing life-changing disturbances that seem very negative. So we swapped stories and musings on the new-age experiences we are all going through!

After the Gaia meditation we made it an early night.

October 17, 2005

Sometimes the day is such a whirlwind that one feels swept up in it, and this has been one of those days. Jim had noticed that Camelot, the house, needed a plumber and a termite inspection, as we had a toilet running, a leak under the kitchen sink and water damage in the floor at the corner of the kitchen. I also needed to make an appointment with a skin doctor as I had awakened recently with a mole which had changed color and shape on my arm. Growing up as I did in the days before we knew about sun damage, I never used sunscreen and have had any number of suspicious moles removed through my adult years. (My coloring does not help: I was born a strawberry blonde and although my hair has darkened, my skin is a red-head’s, fair and easily burned.)

Gary was on hand working on transcription this morning while Vara was doing the books in the office. The plumber came almost immediately and found that we needed a flapper on the toilet. However he could not solve the problem under the sink as the leaks—three of them—were coming from the reverse-osmosis water filter. So I called Sears, where we bought the filter, to make an appointment for fixing that. Eventually the doctor’s office called me back and I got an appointment. The Orkin man agreed to come out tomorrow.

I began wading through the in-house e-mail and found that Bruce had several concerns to address- videotapes for me to return to him, pictures for him to send down to Camelot for the Avalon needs list creation of text and various thoughts concerning the Avalon winterization project. As well, we had an ongoing discussion concerning acquiring a better recording set-up for our sessions of channeling. Then there was the continuing discussion concerning what equipment we needed to deal with the project of getting the sound feed off of our videotapes of the Wooded Glen conference.

I then worked for quite a while by e-mail with Jeremy on the issue of how to offer our readership the Wooded Glen material we have. So far that is only Jeremy’s and my entries for those days. My entries are short but Jeremy’s are handsome, containing fairly comprehensive notes on the contents of all the speakers’ talks. They are pure gold but have been buried in a forum to which no one is posting. We are working out how to re-post this material on the Camelot Journal. Jeremy and I also talked a bit about the upcoming Archetype Gathering. We’re just beginning talks on that.

In the last few minutes before I had to leave for lunch, I managed to make a start on talking with Parnell concerning several matters in-house. Then it was time to go have a talk with Gary Falk on behalf of the Louisville Jazz Society, for whose Newsletter I do a quarterly column of jazz stories. Gary is an old-time Louisville saxophonist and flutist and was primed to give me some material. Unfortunately for me, he is more of an historian, jazz-wise, than a raconteur. I just know he has tons of stories tucked away in his memory but what he wanted to talk about, and what we did discuss for two hours, was the history of Louisville jazz venues since 1960. Oh well! I think I can write something up out of what he gave me!

When I got home Vara was about through doing the books and we settled in to a good planning session. We went through my agenda items fairly quickly. She has helped me to organize my week’s schedule very well and that goes smoothly, although I never do manage to attack the supposed agenda for the day until late morning or after lunch because of the way work that I have done yesterday generates e-mails in today’s Inbox that need attending to. We agreed there’s nothing wrong with this and it’s just fine for this to occur.

We’re stuck on our T-shirt order, sad to say, and have been for two months now. So I need to write our T-shirt guy and ask a pointed question about the order.

After checking through current commitments and making sure we were on the same page as far as winterizing on Avalon, we tackled items from my planning session last Friday with Bear. She suggested I ask Hana to create a CD label for our use in L/L Research CDs of session and other former tapes we want to convert into CDs. That’s a swell idea! Hana’s images are wonderful.

We had a long talk about equipment, especially a video camera. Vara’s concern was that we NOT get a camera strictly in order to work on the Wooded Glen videocassettes, as the camera we used to take those cassettes was a poor one. We do not want to buy a poor camera just because it works with those tapes! Better to rent equipment, perhaps, to convert the videotapes to usable CDs for sound and then to buy what we really need for our next filming, at our next gathering, in terms of a video camera.

We finished up just as Mick called, “Bath’s ready,” so the day was quite full and well-filled! I felt as though my brain had gone through a cement mixer or perhaps a paint-shaker. There were so many details! Sometimes it becomes startlingly clear that we are not in control! And in the end, that is a blessing, as how else could Spirit enter into our busy lives? So I invoked Jim’s motto, “Relax and enjoy,” and sank into the delights of a Stargate block on the Sci Fi channel. After the Gaia meditation we had an early night.

October 18, 2005

The day started with tulips! I had researched wholesale sources locally and in catalogs and had found Van Engelen to be our best bet for the ordering of the bulbs needed to restore Camelot’s tradition of glorious tulips marching across the Wuthering Heights planting in our front yard as well as across the parking space row and all over the yard, plus the daffodils, crocuses, rock garden irises, bluebells and other smaller bulbs that we like to keep planting so as to naturalize our whole yard to color in swathes in the spring. After twenty years of planting, the naturalizing is coming right along but the tulips do not seem to cooperate. They must be replaced every couple of years. Their beauty makes it all worth it, however.

What a frustrating experience their web site was. The site was going crazy. I never could get more than half my order to the final “shopping cart.” Finally I called and placed the order by telephone. It turns out there’s a feature on their site where each person who orders throws the site into indecision until that order is processed and so many people are ordering right now that the site can’t settle on a doggone thing. I finally got that order made with the help of a marvelously efficient and understanding human at Van Engelen.

I welcomed the Orkin man, John, who after inspecting the area in question assured us that we do not have termites in our back kitchen corner; we have water damage. I sent an e-mail off to Bear on that. If he and the crew cannot find the time to repair this, we shall need to call more conventional builders to repair it for us, as the damage turns out to be extensive under the flooring. Oh joy!

I worked extensively this morning with Jeremy on the Wooded Glen material placement. I think we are on the same page now, and it is so good that we are working this out right now. This is the prime time! The new www.bring4th.org site is just now being launched, chiefly by Jeremy, with Bear aiding a good deal. Getting the WG material up to my preferences sets a pattern to which we shall hew for the placement of material from future gatherings, and so making the needed adjustments for doing it creates a template for future use. We also dealt further with the beginning of planning for the Archetype Gathering this winter at Camelot.

I continued with in-house e-mails of various kinds until lunch. I was excited to see the announcement of the new www.bring4th.org forums in the Inbox. However, LOL, I am once again challenged. I tried and tried to enter using the passwords I knew worked before, but now they do not work. Sigh! I wrote off to Jeremy once again, asking whassup!

Gary left for a visit with Ed A just at noon. He will return this weekend.

After lunch I wrote the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday and posted that, then got my notes from Bruce’s and Vara’s planning sessions, as there are many e-mails to write and things to do that these meetings generated. With all that in mind, I found that I could no longer focus. Something had gone awry in my wee brain. While I was gathering my dim mind and scattered thoughts, I fell asleep. I suppose the many details of the day had drugged me! When I awoke from my nap I was still muddled and weary of mind so I relinquished the need to be useful and decided just to amuse myself with solitaire for the half-hour until Judy’s arrival. I won six games in thirty minutes; sure sign of a good decision!

Judy arrived at 4 PM and offered a wonderful Reiki session. We also had a great girlfriend talk and I arose from the session feeling charged of battery and also with a feeling of much release from the solar plexus. I am most thankful for all the help. She left just when Jim had our bath drawn, so Jim and I sank together into a relaxed evening of Stargate and CSI on the tube, supper and the Gaia meditation before an early bedtime. I also took time out during an episode of CSI we’d seen already to read aloud from Robert A. Johnson’s book, Owning Your Own Shadow. The daily balancing exercises suggested by the Ra make a lot of sense within Johnson’s discussion of the shadow side. Jim and I also talked a bit about the proposed gathering to study the Law of One archetypes from Book IV. Jim likes the idea of the gathering and OK’d having it in late January or early February—both he and Tobey need that midwinter time in order to avoid having to work at their respective lawn services. Midwinter is usually a fairly easy time of year to dedicate some time off, as lawns are asleep, buried under winter’s mulch and sometimes snow as well.

October 19, 2005

What a day! The in-house e-mail traffic was very brisk. I had made an appointment with Tanya at Spring Mill State Park for an L/L visit with Gary and Vara to explore the possibility that we might like to have our next summer gathering there, and I let Vara and Gary know that the date was on. I also let Jeanne at Executive Inn know that Spring Mill had come through and therefore we would not be meeting her that day. I suggested a day in November for us to meet with her. I am hoping that one venue or the other will appeal to my cohorts and the co-producers of the next summer gathering. If not we shall keep looking! I was surprised to find that, at Spring Mill at least, the bookings are such that we had only two choices left for the entire season. I reserved one of them, just in case we like it up there, and that date matches our last summer’s dates nicely.

Bruce had written back about the water damage to Camelot’s kitchen corner and I answered his questions as best I could. I also cancelled the Sears repairman because of the amazingly high cost of that repair. It will be less expensive to find another way to make distilled or filtered water! After pinging Vara on the creation of a new order form I wrote Hana, an artist of considerable skill and great depth, and a fan of the Law of One, who lives in Canada, about the possibility that she might like to create a CD label design for L/L Research. We need CD labels in our future, because we are transferring our audiocassette tapes and reel-to-reel tapes to CD format to preserve them and changing the tapes we have for sale to a CD format as well. I also wrote Jim Kent about his checking out the viability of software designed to create a transcribing function for doing CDs directly from the computer. If this software works, it is freeware and any transcriber can download and use it.

The rest of the morning was spent squaring off on bring4th web site questions. I have the sense that this discussion with Bear and Jeremy is central to the success of redoing the B4 site. There is more there to discuss than meets the eye! What is a niche? What is a forum? What is an L/L Research forum as opposed to one placed by friends of L/L Research? I do not know the answers yet, but we are on the hunt for them together. Deciding this will help us plan the site so it really works.

I had just a smidgen of time after lunch to sort mail and sit down with a letter to Parnell before taking off for the lab at Dr. June’s. I take Methotrexate for rheumatoid symptoms so must be tested for liver damage, as that drug has the known side effect of frying the occasional organ. I have taken it for years with no adverse effects but one must keep checking monthly to be sure. It is always iffy to have techs drill for a vein, as mine are poor and full of scar tissue from my two kidney failures back in the 1950s, when IV needles were made of glass and one had to have one’s arm strapped to a board so one’s needle would not break off in the body. This happened to me three times! So the area of the inner elbows is—to make a weak pun—pretty well shot. But it’s still the best place to find some blood to test. They got lucky on the sixth try! And thank heavens they did find a vein. Otherwise I’d have had to return another day and try again.

Coming back from the doctor’s office I stopped at Garden Ridge to replace our bathroom rugs, which had begun to unravel from long use and were littering the floor with fibers as they disintegrated, and to find a scrapbook in which to place the treasure trove of old photos that Don’s Aunt Tot had preserved as her private stash of family pictures. We are blessed with a fairly comprehensive archive of family pictures from Jim’s, Don’s and my families. I think we probably have five or six dozen albums going back several generations. I kept albums all through Don’s and my years together as well. Lately we’ve gotten sidetracked by buying a digital camera and then not knowing how to work it! So I have some back work to do there one fine day. We’ve taken many pictures but have no access to them!

After putting away the various purchases I tried to work on last Sunday’s channeling session but the “track changes” was not working on my Word software so I spent that last available work time chasing shadows instead of editing! Sometimes one just has to say, “OK!”

After a bath and some news from Democracy Now on Link TV I went to choir practice. It was my first shot at singing French. My previous choral leaders favored German music, especially Bach and Brahms, so I became very adept at German and Latin. French is new to me. I will enjoy learning how to pronounce this beautiful language. I have never taken either it or any other Western language in school, having focused on Latin, Greek and Russian. These days, all of that is pretty much gone. I am lucky to know English!

The latest hurricane, now approaching Florida, signals to me the fact that the inconveniences of which the Ra spoke thirty years ago have not just begun, they are setting in and worsening. With the Avian Flu in the news as well, it is clear that third density on this planet is trammeled and troubled to a great degree. This makes sense to me. Fourth density is firming up and third density’s days are numbered. The times are moving forward inexorably and as souls rotate out of incarnation, many are graduating, while others are finding their new possibilities to lead them to another 3-D planet for another try at learning the ways of love. There will be fewer and fewer souls incarnating for 3-D work here, and those who do incarnate will be of a double-activated nature that allows them to be able to tolerate the 4-D vibes while continuing to make restitution to 3-D Gaia. We have a good deal of planetary clean-up to accomplish as 3-D rides off into the sunset. I like to think of us all as 4-D pioneers.

What I see happening is that the planetary population is beginning to revert to late second density in its ways. The eventual population will be those who incarnate as 2-D great apes, using our body type but having no self-aware soul. They will live in clans and protect their territory as great apes do now. It will not be a great change from the way our American Empire is functioning at present. The planet will become populated with a 4-D planetary population and a 2-D great-ape population. The 3-D members will be no more.

In this time, then, this great transitional period, I see our task as that of living in such a way that we honor and value the ethics of 4-D to such an extent that we are able to continue bearing the increasingly transparent 4-D waves of energy that herald Gaia’s 4-D emergence. And while we do this, we will be keeping the bridge to 4-D open for the remaining 3-D population. It is certainly a delaying tactic, not a permanent solution. Three-dee is done for. But I hope very much that our service and light will offer our tribe a continuing chance to get a grip on the situation for this next few years, whether they be ten, twenty, fifty or a hundred. I wish to help give everyone the chance to decide to choose their polarity and join the last of us who are crossing the bridge to 4-D. How I would love to see the fabled “hundredth monkey effect” happen here! I would love to scoop all of earth’s tribe up and coax all of us into polarizing and making it into 4-D together. This is the lighthouse effect for which I hope. And there are many lighthouses on Earth today. May we all shine forth in freedom and peace. For the great issue here is free will. We need not even to think about controlling or persuading people. All must choose the process of polarization and seeking of unconditional love in complete freedom. What we can do is live as we believe. It is being itself that will inspire people, not what we say or do. It’s how we BE!

October 20, 2005

The day started pleasantly “late” for me and I barely got my ablutions done before time to snuggle in with Mick and wake up to do our Morning Offering. After Jim went off to mow as much as he possibly could, since rain was coming our way in the afternoon, I wrote the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday, communicated with Bruce about his resigning from the web site work and Job Grindstaff about testing the CD transcription software before heading out to Fox Hollow.

This is my last massage at Fox Hollow. It has been a marvelous treat to have this course of rhythmic massage, a Rudolph Steiner technique which is designed to “wake up” and balance the body system as a whole. In addition to this, Judy went over my Steiner exercises, the “OLOROMO” series that Mary Ruud had taught me, with me and corrected some of my movements that had gotten away from what Steiner intended. That series of movements seems very healthful. I have not been able to use it until now because of ill health but I believe I can begin doing that routine now. It was a beautiful ride out to Fox Hollow. The trees are starting to color up en masse now. I saw my first all-over orange maple, no leaves having yet dropped. It was so gorgeous! The redbuds and dogwoods are now a deep purple. And a cold front comes through by tomorrow. I think at last we shall see some real fall color!

On the way back I stopped at Bed Bath and Beyond to snag a new bath pillow as my old one is becoming mildewed and picked up some salad-bar lunch. After a leisurely lunch-and-reading break, I took up Parnell’s thoughtful post and took some time to respond. It is a blessing to begin to get to know this young intern better. Then I took a look at the images Hana had sent as possible candidates for an L/L Research CD label design. I love them both and let her know that. I also sent them on to Vara and asked her to consider them. We shall talk about that at our next planning session.

The remainder of the afternoon was spent in examining the www.lawof1.org web site as it now stands, in analyzing its content to some extent and to writing a detailed e-mail to Jeremy and Vara concerning the various aspects of it. It currently is an amalgam of many things: forums, journals, allied web sites and unallied ones and so forth. When the old bring4th site was hacked down to smithereens, what Bruce could save was moved to the lawof1 web site. In the hacking we lost all of Vara’s text and production as well as our L/L Research logo. We lost Papa’s niche and Hana’s images. Before we can begin to rebuild bring4th we need to organize our thoughts and the contents we currently are supporting in the lawof1 space.

My initial e-mail trying to determine what goes where is a tremendous step forward. We are no longer at the stage where we have to define basic terms. Now we can begin to determine where to place things and how to organize what we have on both the lawof1 site and the B4 site. I will have a good talk with Vara on this topic at our next planning session, which may not be on Monday, since Vara, Gary and I will take Monday morning to visit Spring Mill State Park in Indiana and check that out as a possible venue for next summer’s gathering. I may not hear back from Jeremy until next week, as he is taking in some music this weekend! That sounds like fun!

I squeezed the last possible moment out of the afternoon and sent that long and detailed e-mail off in time for a slightly late bath and some Amy Goodman news time with Jim before we had some supper and then took off for a red had night, visiting the Park Place restaurant and Steve Crews, who plays wonderful jazz piano there. He is so clever. A couple was requesting Walt Disney and other cartoon music and we heard Someday My Prince Will Come combined with Take Five, which was an intellectual workout but great music, and a brilliant version of the Charlie Brown theme from TV mixed in with the theme from 2001, A Space Odyssey. As well, he played a perfectly luscious “Satin Doll” riff that went on and on and soothed my soul.

We did the Gaia meditation holding hands in the restaurant! I prayed that wonderful prayer from the Psalms, “O Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem.” That has special meaning to me as the situation regarding the Middle East slowly worsens. Truly, they will prosper who love the city of peace (salem in Jerusalem means peace in Hebrew, shalom) and who extend that prayer to all of that woebegotten area of the world. How I wish there were a simple solution, but it will take tremendous restraint, tact and cooperation to retrieve ourselves from the middle of that pickle. Amy Goodman had a reporter from Britain, a Mr. Fisk, who spoke eloquently about the depth of the anarchy reigning in Iraq. Even in Baghdad, he said, he dares not spend more than 6 minutes getting groceries, or more than 20 minutes eating in a restaurant. And most reporters, notably those from America, do not leave their hotel enclaves or their armed guards at all, never leaving their rooms. They send Iraqis out to gather intelligence. Outside Baghdad, the country is completely at the mercy of anarchic forces. Fisk offered the sad news that in July, 1,100 people died in the streets of Baghdad alone. Can you imagine what a loss this is, over a year’s time, for the whole country? And Americans never hear these facts. It more than rivals the disasters we are watching unfold before us from the hurricane season! These are the days of that old Chinese curse: Interesting times!

October 21, 2005

A Friday, any Friday, has a wonderful TGIF energy to it. Jim got a late start because of rain, staying here while it dried out and working on creating a grocery list for this week’s cooking. I had begun with recipes in my own day in the “office”—currently I cannot sit up quite straight for long and so Romi has set me up to use Traveller, my laptop, which can access Maggie, my office computer. Those names, by the way, are not without a reason. Traveller is named after Robert E. Lee’s horse, who was a big, headstrong and tireless steed who never wore out under Lee’s constant use of him in long, long days in the saddle. Maggie was named after letters on her view screen, which are MAG. It seemed a natural. I love both my computers but have not been able to spend much time at the desk with Maggie lately. Almost all my work is done resting back in my Mama chair in the Camelot common room using Traveller.

Jim had a yen for chili and I had a new recipe for him, so I got that ready for him, along with a new recipe for soup for me—I tend to eat soup in the evening—and a recipe for homemade applesauce for the Mick, who had requested that to go with pork chops. Jim found recipes in my recipe data base for pork chops, mashed potatoes and corn pudding—the latter two being oft-repeated house favorites. By the time his lawns had dried out enough to cut, Jim had created a good grocery list for Gary to use in shopping later in the day.

Gary was off early to do a shift at Cracker Barrel. He will be focusing hard on earning money and getting his volunteer hours at Camelot completed until the end of this month.

I picked up a couple of e-mails from friends who had waited patiently for weeks to hear from me and then settled down to write Bruce about bring4th issues. I asked for his advice, as Jeremy and I will need to alter things a good bit in starting up Bring4th again. The last time we launched this site, it was quickly and poorly done and we suffered for that! We would like to do the opposite this time! We’d like to take our time and do the work well. Jeremy and I are fortunate in having both Bruce and Vara to ask for advice. They cannot help us directly, as they are both up to their elbows in Avalon construction. This is also true of Parnell, who hopes eventually to be more active in web work. However they are both professional-level computer people and Vara is a designer with flair and experience. Their advice is priceless. At lunchtime I had not finished with this e-mail.

Lunch was luxurious in being shared with Jim. We greatly enjoy it when we get a chance for time together at midday. Then Jim was off to garden for his customers and to crunch leaves, which he says are in perfect shape from the earlier misting rain: dry enough to disintegrate when run over by his Gator Blades while wet enough not to be blown away by the mower’s fans. To each job there are special moments of delight!

It was supposed to be a half-day off for me today, but after an inadvertent, lengthy nap I spent the time it took to finish the e-mail to Bruce, copying Vara. Then I did, indeed, take that time off, first glorying in playing a full octave of solitaire, a Word game I love to play when I am thinking about something and feeling too full of information as it helps me calm down and ruminate, and then getting to Christmas planning for the first time this year except for ordering Christmas cards.

I buy things ahead for Christmas when I see special things and they were stacked on the wrapping table. As well, I had bought gifts for Jim’s Mom’s birthday and they were piled on the table also. Others in the house had kindly brought down to the basement wrap center various gift boxes and gifts that I had accumulated and stacked by the basement door to go down. And all the drawers of wrapping supplies had gotten scrambled as various people used the supplies. So my first go-around with the Christmas Present project had little to do with wrapping Christmas presents! I sorted all our materials into wrap, gift bags, tissue paper, ribbons, gift cards and stickers and so forth. I wrapped Jim’s Mom’s birthday presents and set them aside for our visit to Nebraska for her birthday December 2nd. Then I wrapped exactly one present for Christmas before Mick called bath time!

Hey, it’s a good start! I now have a clear field. I can see all my gift choices and I have my gift list ready to start filling out. I’m doing a happy dance in my heart to have gotten a toehold. I do not like to rush, so “doing” Christmas, both gifts and cards, takes starting early. However it is worth it to me. I absolutely love to remember my friends and companions. A lifetime has made Jim and me rich in those. And new ones are blessedly added every year. Some old names leave the list as well, as folks pass into larger life or from our little world of L/L Research. Honoring and remembering them is one of my chief delights. I adore this time of year, when all hearts tend to open, forgive and love.

It is to be noted that I totally missed doing my scheduled work today as well as yesterday and the day before. In the press of this bring4th effort, new editing, old editing and forum posts went undone. Sometime, events overtake us. I judge this week to be one of those times.

October 22, 2005

While Jim headed for the kitchen and the creation of the remainder of the recipes for this week’s food, the applesauce and the pork chops, Gary headed off for a shift at Cracker Barrel and I spent the morning working on in-house e-mails to Bruce, Vara and Jeremy about various issues, mostly winterizing and web site related. The more I look at the site issues, the more I feel the urge to slow down, get more advice and take things easy. There are many issues to consider.

After a lunch Jim settled in to some football. I started to go back to work but something got in my way… sleeping! Jim promised me I did not snore, but I was probably out cold in my Mama chair with my computer in my lap for most of the afternoon. I awoke in the late afternoon to work with Jeremy more on the web site and talk with Bruce about the access road repairs on Avalon. I talked with Ian J also about the web site issues and about the equipment needed for making CD copies of sessions. Ian recommends a dedicated CD recorder. That advice sounds right to me. Now we need to determine what kind to purchase and set up. I finished up by talking by e-mail with Bruce about generators, a portable one for Avalon and a larger one for Camelot.

Bath time saw us both feeling happy and relaxed, with that Saturday glow which says that tomorrow is also a sleep-late day! We had a good evening and an early night.

October 23, 2005

This was a delightful Sabbath. I awoke early enough to start the puzzles in the paper while it was still dark outside, perhaps 7 AM, so by the time it was time to go snuggle in with Mick I was all done and could address the mail, which was all about the web site and the equipment for recording CDs. I barely got started on digesting a long and detailed e-mail from Ian when it was time to polish off my Sunday treat—Krispy Kreme donuts—and head for the pre-service choir practice.

After a very satisfying church service I got some Taco Bell food for Jim and me and we enjoyed some pro football while we ate it. I particularly enjoyed Tyrell Owens, after making a touchdown, whipping out a small towel, putting it over his arm like a waiter and hoisting the football as though it were on a tray. Now that’s some refined celebrating!

Getting back to the issues in Ian’s letter I did a lot of pondering and puzzling and decided to sleep on all these issues overnight. My feelings are strongly going for slowing up and thinking twice on all fronts. It is easy to do things quickly. It is harder to ponder, ask for advice and ponder again. However I think the results will be better for the pondering time.

Rob and Lynne N came in for the meditation from Lexington and Romi and Tom F came as well, and we had a sweet silent meditation and then Romi made love Tea and spread out some cookies and we had a most pleasant conversation before the group broke up. Romi then spent the evening working on the link that would allow Vara at Avalon to get on the house network here at Camelot. He accomplished about half of what he had hoped to do.

We enjoyed eating with Romi, who stayed for supper and had a good Gaia meditation before settling in to watch game two of the World Series and news reports of Hurricane Wilma’s approach to Florida’s land mass. The house is divided. Jim’s rooting for the Astros and I, born right near Chicago, naturally am rooting for the Sox. We’re both rooting for the people and land of Florida to come through the hurricane as well as possible!

October 23, 2005

Before the dominant activity of the day I had a little time, which I filled by making CJ entries for last weekend and working more to see into the architecture of both the umbrella site—lawof1—and the bring4th site. By departure time for Spring Mill I had the list pretty much done.

Vara and Parnell arrived in good time from Avalon. Parnell had just received his box of possessions which included a small and very powerful computer and so he spent part of his day working to load it with software. However Parnell’s first job here was plumbing! Jim had just discovered we’d sprung yet another leak, so he and Jim were off to Lowe’s to find parts to fix it. Meanwhile Vara, Gary and I took off in Stanley for Spring Mill State Park in Indiana, a place we are thinking about for the next summer gathering.

It was a gorgeous drive up and back, with a sky at first dramatically overcast and then, as we arrived at the park, turning all sunshiny and bright. The fat cumulus clouds remained throughout the trip, some light and fluffy and others true storm clouds, lowering and threatening. It was cold! The temperature topped out in the mid-50s F. Autumn has arrived. Now we will see leaf-fall!

Tanya met us at Spring Mill Inn and took us around to see the meeting room we would be renting, the dining room and the physical plant in general. She gave us the details of rental of rooms and rates for the meeting room and for participants’ food. It is a beautiful place to meet. Both Gary and Vara liked many things about the venue and we have reserved it, tentatively. We will hold off a final decision until after we talk to Jeanne at Executive Inn in November. The choice is between beauty and convenience—Executive Inn nestles up to the airport so there is no hassle whatsoever about getting to them! Whereas Spring Mill is 80 miles up the highway from the airport.

On the way up and back, Vara and I had a very good talk about web site work. Her thinking is paralleling mine. She also would like to see work on the site stop for now. It is a good thing when one has a validating opinion like that. My idea, however, was different than hers, as she simply wanted to shelve the idea of bring4th for now. I, on the other hand, would like Jeremy to keep working on the site structure under the mentoring of Ian. I wrote Ian asking if he would take on the mentoring task and he was most kind to say he would. Jeremy has done a lot of work with his blog and with web sites in general. However, he has expressed some hesitation about undoing work Bruce has done, and I agree that before we change anything on lawof1’s site, we need to know precisely why and what. I am thrilled to get Ian’s OK to the mentoring. I deeply hope Jeremy will also be tickled to have his expertise on which to draw.

Ian called to chat before bedtime. He is thinking seriously about coming down for a weekend this winter. I would so enjoy his company! I invited both him and Jon G to our archetype workshop, and then to stay over a couple of extra days to work on archiving project planning together with me. One can do so much more when working together in person than by e-mail.

It was good to have such a crowd for the Gaia meditation. Gary gave a sweet prayer and we had some conversation before Jim made a move for the upstairs and early bed. I told Gary how ironic this is! When I was in junior high school, 9:30 was my bedtime. I would think, “Just wait until I am grown up and can stay up later.” And I certainly have pulled many a late night throughout my adult life. But at 62, I am back at the old 9:30 bedtime! LOL!

October 24, 2005

October 25, 2005

Vara and Parnell had stayed over, their errands and chores unfinished when last night came, so Vara awoke to do books and Parnell continued working with his computer. Even with Steve F’s new solar panels on line, the current weather’s overcast means no power on Avalon right now. Camelot’s being on the grid has its points!

After Jim left to mow and Gary left to serve at Cracker Barrel I settled in to a day of non-stop communication with Bruce and Ian on web site issues and discussion of equipment. Jim came home for lunch and we enjoyed the fellowship, and then it was back to the ongoing conversation for me. I ended the workday barely getting to Jeremy’s long line of e-mails, so I can predict what I shall start with tomorrow. I hope to clear this conversation and move on soon! However some things need to be given full attention and this seems to me to be such a time.

After lunch and before Vara and Parnell left for Avalon Vara and I sat down for a briefer planning session than usual, having talked most things through in the car going to and from Spring Mill yesterday. I simply brought her up to date with the day’s correspondence with Bruce and Ian. As always, her opinions, as well as those of Parnell, who listened in, were helpful.

At 4 PM Judy C arrived and we had a wonderful Reiki session and a good conversation as well. I lay aside all worldly concerns and floated away on Reiki energy. It is a true blessing!

The evening moved seamlessly through bath time, some news time with Amy Goodman’s remarkable show, Democracy Now, Link TV’s World Music, CSI and lights out.

October 26, 2005

After writing the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday I worked with e-mail all day. Calvin, my neighbor, had written to excuse herself from choir practice, as we had been carpooling, and I sent an acknowledgement. I finished up some details with Vara from yesterday’s planning session. The rest of the morning was spent working with Jeremy’s e-mail.

Mick was able to stop by for lunch, which was a real treat. After that I worked with Sandie S’s needs. She runs an e-zine, Planet Lightworker Magazine, and we just began a series of channeled messages for her zine. She had questions for next month’s channeling which needed rewriting. Two of the questions were good ones while the other two were incomprehensible. There was one hilarious question from someone who wrote that she had read that our “domestic companions” were not as intelligent as we had been given to think that they are. Could the Q’uo comment? Well, the Q’uo would need to know if the companions referred to were spouses, friends, parents, children, pets or machines! We have many companions in our domesticity!

Steve F, Sandie’s mate, had transcribed this month’s Planet Lightworker channeling and he sent that to me so I could edit it. I was extremely glad to have the chance to edit it as I saw fit. The channeling was on vibrations and densities. That is a challenging topic and the Confederation gave the topic their best effort. It was meaty material! Such material is easily mis-transcribed. I believe I found all the mistakes of grammar, paragraphing and words and got it all in good shape.

I had time for just a couple of quick e-mails before my bath and then it was Democracy Now—today studying the sad case of our breaking of the Geneva Conventions in our interrogation techniques in Iran—and I was off to choir practice. The choir is considering going to Scotland on a choir tour and so I sat through a presentation for a trip I shall not participate in. It looked like fun but after the British journey I know what such didoes cost me physically and I am not about to travel any more in this life except to take care of my family and to further the work of L/L Research. Each year, Jim and I travel to Nebraska to visit with his Mom, once before Christmas for her birthday on December 2nd and once at February’s end, before the mowing starts up for the next season. I generally travel to visit with my birth family after Christmas. That’s my family travel unless there is a funeral. These days I have very few relatives to lose to the gates of death! Other than this traveling, nothing is planned. Period. My one hope for purely fun travel yet to come in this lifetime is for Vara and I to travel west. Vara’s California is something I would like to see. Her take on the west is also going to be a treat if I live to enjoy it! And of course wherever I can serve L/L Research by talking about the Law of One, I am determined to go.

After the presentation on Scotland we had a delightful choir practice. We shall be singing Ned Rorem and Faure on Sunday! I am getting better at pronouncing French!

Jim and I had a good talk about the web site work I have done lately and how that seems to be going. I always find his advice excellent. He encourages me to take it easy and let time pass! I can do that just fine.

Jim’s big decision today was not to attach his big leaf-pickup device to Thetis, his ride-on mower. He always loses money on it. His Gator Blades are excellent at making dust out of the leaves. Only two people who are currently his clients ask for leaf pickup after experiencing the gator Blade effect where the leaves just vanish. He cannot recover the cost of putting on and taking back off the leaf catcher. So this year, by golly, if people want their leaves picked up they shall need to pay for his time using a rake and doing it by hand.

Suddenly it is quite cold outside, even at the noonday. I shall need to bring up my warmer clothes!

Gary worked at several chores around the house today, and we had a good talk on future work for his volunteer hours here.

October 27, 2005

Jim’s schedule is a bit more relaxed these days as the mowing season declines, so he got up a bit later and that gave me time to go through my closet before going down to greet him for our morning snuggle. Gary and I had arranged for me to get the summer clothes to be stored out of my closet for him to take down to basement storage racks, switching out the winter duds and bringing them up to my closet for me.

I sent to Ian some corrections Eccles P found needing to be made in the Newcastle speech.

After the aforesaid snuggle, a puzzle time and our Morning Offering, Jim was off to work and I settled into the morning, doing the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday and clearing some e-mail from St. Luke’s. I continued an ongoing conversation with Jeremy about the forum Guidelines for Participation and shared that with Ian as well. Ian is working with Jeremy as Jeremy gets a hold on the forming up of the new www.bring4th.org site.

Jim was able to be at home for lunch and he found Pickwick curled up inside my lap robe. When he sat down to eat, Sedgwick jumped up to join us and we had a love-seat (our Mama and Papa chairs are a love seat) full of warm bodies! It was a sweet moment.

With Jim off once again to beautify St. Luke’s, his Thursday afternoon customer, I settled in to work with Jon G. Jon is extremely helpful in our archiving projects. He has been working on a long project which we have been calling Mr. Inaudible, as when Jon took on listening to the inaudible tapes to see what he could glean from them, he got that nickname. He has recovered a good bit of the channeling on quite a few older tapes, and has plans to work on many more to recover what text he can.

Now, Jon is looking for a shorter project for right now, taking a break from Mr. Inaudible. He suggested that if we can get him the tapes to work with, he proposes to transfer all the 2005 tapes to CDs! This is the beginning of a massive transfer project at the end of which we hope to have CD copies of all our archive tapes, both audiocassettes and reel-to-reel tapes. But it will begin with just this one year being transferred. We should gain a good bit of information from that test run. It also provides Bruce P with the 2005 transcripts he has requested for his audio streaming project on www.lawof1.org.

We also talked about Jon’s visiting here for a few days in order to accomplish some things one can only do in person, like setting L/L Research up with a CD recording set-up for our sessions.

We even talked about a whole new subject, since Jon has a good deal of video editing experience, he told me. This is an amazingly difficult and intricate area and when I looked at getting checked out on the software for video editing, the introductory course they offer for those interested in learning that art takes 80 hours to complete. That tells you just how demanding this specialty is! We have video tape from two sources: May 2005 footage taken by Mark H and the Wooded Glen footage filmed by Jeremy W in August 2005. Jon may be able to help us with working on that! This iss startling, galvanizing and great news for me, since I am eager to see an L/L Research DVD out there for people who want to know more about the Law of One and about us.

I got back to Eccles, who had written to suggest that he come for some time before or after the Archetypes Gathering in midwinter to spend some time seeing if he could suggest ways to better our work here. Eccles has much experience with advising people on their systems. It is most kind of him to make the time to look over our systems and see what he can see. I look forward to our working together.

I found that our T shirt order has been held up by the wedding of our two T shirt volunteers! Mazeltov to Tracy and Jamie B! May your marriage be wonderful and nourishing and fun! Here’s to you! And I must say I am thrilled to know that there was a positive and happy reason for the disconnect, and that we’ll be able to order our t-shirts soon. Jamie assured me of this! I am tickled to hear that. We have a new T-shirt design from Vara for Avalon and I look forward to offering those shirts for Christmas.

It was Jim’s and my red-hat night. We took in a big-band group of eleven at Ken Shapero’s Jazz Factory.

October 28, 2005

Happy is the woman who can look a Friday morning in the eye! My efforts this whole week and last week as well had been devoted to working through the crisis on www.bring4th.org’s renovation. It was the happy task of this morning to finish up the e-mail exchanges that oriented the new renovation team of Jeremy and Ian to looking, thoughtfully and with no hurry at all, at the prospect of re-creating this “spiritual activism” site which had been hacked down this last spring. Thanks again to Bruce for saving large portions of that site over to lawof1’s site when B4 came down.

I cleaned up some general in-house e-mail as well. Especially did I give Vara a whistle as PayPal had indicated we had some “unauthorized traffic” in our account. I tried to log in and work with them but apparently I am not the one they expect to show up to deal with these matters! So I sent the correspondence on to Firefly, who shall undoubtedly know how to deal with it.

I got the Camelot Journal entry written for yesterday and then cooked some bacon and eggs for my lunch. Jim and Gary, who is mowing with Jim today, came in the door just at the right time and we all sat down to lunch together.

When Jim and Gary had left to finish up the week’s work, I started in on editing. By bath time I had edited the last two channeling sessions from our public meetings in October. It was most satisfying to get those sessions in to Ian. We have been sadly behind in keeping the sessions current because of the massive amounts of conversation needed to shift work within the group not only in the B4 renovation but with several matters associated with that work and with the general efforts to modernize our archive. Now I believe I have only the Bath speech and channeling session to transcribe in order to be all caught up, however briefly, with 2005 transcription editing.

Jim came back from his last job for the day just as I was finishing up the second channeling and we went up to Dairy Queen to celebrate TGIF. Jim had a chocolate shake and I had hot chocolate! Do we know how to party or what!

Our usual sources of TV enjoyment having gone missing, we ran Vara’s movie, “Pushing Tin” and enjoyed the craziness! Romi came over and worked for three solid hours trying to establish a remote network connection from Vara’s computer on Avalon and Growler here at Camelot. It was a solid failure and at the end of the evening Ro finally gave up the attempt. He had not given up easily! He has been working on this project for two solid weeks. Good effort, Romi! Some things just are not meant to be. (I have it on authority from a melancholy Dane. Or at least, he felt it was an open question!)

We had the Gaia meditation and Jim caught up on his e-mail before we wandered up for pre-bed snuggling and dimmed the lights for the night. When I shall catch up on MY e-mail only the Creator whom I love more than life itself knows! It was not today! It will not be this weekend! But I shall get there.

October 29, 2005

After working all week on the conversations concerning the renovation of the bring4th site and other Camelot concerns I decided to offer myself an entire Saturday of time off to do what I wished to do. Personal time seemed like a swell idea!

I did check e-mail and wrote the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday and then settled in to a day spent on Christmas. In the morning, besides some luxurious playing of solitaire, I worked on entering my old Christmas Card List into Outlook Contacts. Last year I never could get the old list to print out in Access, and Vara could not save me. So it is time for a new way to get those address labels printed out. I did not get far as I was having increasing trouble seeing. This is weird! My eyes have been seeing double ever since I began taking the medicine for chest pain—fortunately the double images are vertical, so I can drive safely—but lately the computer blurs and nothing I can do with glasses seems to help. I eventually have to give up working on the computer. Either I need new glasses or I am just overusing my eyes. It’s time to make an eye appointment and check this out. By lunch time a tic had started closing one eye, so I took the hint and quit using the computer for the day.

Jim and Gary had been making chili all morning. Gary is a careful eater and made “white chili” with turkey and white beans. Jim, a true carnivore, made chili with beef and kidney beans. Both were most happy at the result and we’re ready for the newly chilly temperatures now. Jim also made up a big batch of pea salad so that they can eat their greens! As for me, I tend to exist on good homemade soup made from homemade broth and Ensure these days, my stomach still giving me a tough way to go.

In the afternoon I went to the basement and squared off with the Christmas presents I currently have. I got them all wrapped and am now ready to acquire the rest of the presents on my list. Then I got a call from Tommy, my youngest brother, who was, synchronistically, thinking about Christmas also. He made sure Jim and I knew we were invited and that our room was reserved at Tommy’s new house. He showed us the room last year and we were touched that he had created this room strictly so Jim and I could visit. It has its own bath, is large enough for a hospital bed if I want to rent one, and has a TV so that Mick can watch his bowl games, as we always go visit around Ne