Carla’s Niche

Camelot Journal

Copyright © 2006 Carla L. Rueckert

Monday, January 2, 2006

Up early, I spent some time deleting from the Inbox and then wrote the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday before turning to working on a letter to Vara as she changes her relationship with L/L Research. Vara has been a valuable part of L/L Research for nearly three years. She and Jim and I will be finding out just how we stay connected as she heads off on her next adventure, living in an old farmhouse on land belonging to Steve F. It is an ancient house in abandoned shape, so her work is well cut out for her. All my prayers are with her as she packs up her room into boxes, the stacks of which are mounting.

We also are saying farewell to Parnell for an unspecified time of visiting with his parents out west. We look forward to his return to Avalon soon. Currently Bruce is by himself on Avalon.

After Jim and I had Morning Offering I read him the letter to Vara and he OK’d it. then I created a letter to Bill H., Jean-Claude K. and Wynn F. concerning Jim’s and my upcoming visit with those gentlemen in Palm Springs. I shared with them the ideas Jim and I had come up with so far on how to publicize the Law of One material. Our ideas include a paid assistant for me, an audio version of TLOO so people can listen to it in their car or whatever, getting the rights to the material back from our publisher, creating a Law of One 101 book, doing seed sessions on LOO concepts, creating an L/L Research DVD and recording an audio version of A Wanderer’s Handbook.

I wrote Bruce about the web site, lawof1.org. The site needs to come down and I wanted to give him plenty of notice. Unfortunately it is not truly an L/L Research site. It temporarily was holding our journals and forums from bring4th. However it was not intended that this site would retain them. As Jeremy W. is able to open B4 back up, the forums and journals will be moved there. What remains we will either place into niches on B4 or Bruce is free to re-do the sites under another domain name. Our accountant, Linda D., has urged us to clean up anything like this where it is not immediately demonstrable to the IRS that an expense is completely L/L Research-related. This is re-arrangement rather than losing any material now on lawof1.org, but it is highly inconvenient for Bruce and I apologized to him for the hoo-ha. It is worth it to safeguard our non-profit status.

I also dropped him a note concerning things needing to be repaired at Camelot as he had wanted to know what sorts of repairs he might be able to make down here in town when weather was too bad at Avalon to work outside there. Jim and I had talked this over on our trip and I had a handy-dandy list to share with him.

Jim had been doing the year-end expenses for L/L Research all morning and we stopped for a lunch together, talking over the morning and enjoying a break. Then I was off to pick up Dr. Steve J. He is my osteopath. We discovered in talking together that he has a lot of experience growing herbs biodynamically and creating tinctures from them. He discovered that we are developing Avalon. We decided he needed to see Avalon, and I agreed to take him up there today. The ride up was sunny and fine. The farm was muddy, six inches of rain having poured down during the morning! Steve and Bruce had a good walk-and-talk while I rested at Sugar Shack, admiring all the recent winterizing work. We started home but the weather seemed very lowering so we stopped for a cup of tea while we assessed the situation. There were tornadoes around! The news was full of warnings. We sat in the little tea shop sipping our hot tea, dry and comfortable and watched storm, wind and driving rain sweep through. I was so very glad we were not on the road!

Eventually the storm passed and we drove home, stunned to be visited by first one perfect rainbow and then another one with a double image on one side. The articulation of the colors was high. One could even see the blue, indigo and violet that usually are lost from rainbows. It was a very special gift. Dr. Steve has several friends who are looking for biodynamic land around us and we both said we hoped the rainbow was an omen favoring our future association.

Home again, I sent Ian a note from a lady who could not open her latest newsletter from us. Ian immediately sent her a response which he copied to me. It is wonderful to have a webmaster be so responsive to our users’ woes. He explained to her about Adobe Reader being used to open our issues, and how it is freeware, easily downloaded and installed from the net. Things I, myself, did not know and was glad to learn.

I also sent on to Ian for evaluation the transcript Wynn F. had kindly sent me of the interview I did on the Don And Wynn Show on the 3rd of December. He liked it and wants to have it on site, so I shall edit that transcript and send it to him in more proper form.

I wrote Wynn a note responding to his questions about the concept of seed sessions. He is preparing for the meeting in Palm Springs also and was uncertain on Jim’s and my ideas there.

I finished off the day’s work by getting Jeff P.’s letter to Trimble County on our access road read to Jim. Jim OK’d the letter, making no changes, and I sent Jeff word that we were ready to sign. The letter was dated over two weeks ago so I asked him to send me an updated letter.

Jim had taken the afternoon off to watch some football. After all, our own U of Louisville was playing. Sadly, the three quarters they did well in were not the fourth quarter and they lost their bowl game.

We had a lovely bath and then visited with Parnell and Romi, who came over to share our evening. It was a great night for junk TV, with Stargate on all night and some CSI as well. Gary came home before the Gaia Meditation and we had that time together, with Gary offering the prayer at the end. It was especially noble of him to pray for world peace and Gaia’s health on a day when he had to spend a goodly sum repairing his car, which needed an alternator and battery. He does report that the car runs fine now! Except for his emergency brake. This apparently is beyond salvage according to the mechanic, who could see on the lift that the cables were dangling. Uh oh! I suppose there are yet more repairs in Gary’s future. It is the way of the world—own something for any length of time and it will need repair. We stayed with the group for more TV and conversation until ten and then went up to bed.

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

After Morning Offering Jim set out to work more on year-end records for L/L Research while I worked on clearing details in the office. There were more than a few! I spent a productive, if invisible, morning doing things like pre-registering at the hospital where I have an MRI and MRA scheduled later in the week—following an aneurism which was discovered last year—and following through with telephone calls to reschedule appointments which I will miss because of being out of town from next Sunday to the following Wednesday. I sent off some essays on biodynamic farming to Bruce and packaged up a tape to Glenda S. I almost cleared that desk! As I left to get my hair cut I reflected on one of my list items for the gathering in Palm Springs- an assistant. It would be wonderful to have someone to do this kind of work and free me up for more editing and creative work. Ah, what a lovely dream that is!

The haircuts for Vara and me and errands on the way home took up a good deal of the afternoon. I got back to the desk after Vara and I got home and cleared away everything remaining except some entries to the booklist for the L/L Research Library. Jim called bath time before I got that done. It was the kind of day I’d call housekeeping day—full of necessary doings but not replete with any sort of sense of accomplishment. Vara has said she feels invisible in terms of the book-keeping she does. I know what she means right now!

Jim and I enjoyed a particularly insightful Amy Goodman news broadcast featuring South American statesmen talking about the spreading of progressive, democratic government and then a thoughtful conversation before joining the household for supper. We had a good Gaia Meditation with Romi offering the ending prayer and then we watched football for a long, long time! The Orange Bowl went on and on, eventually being won by Penn State in triple overtime. Parnell, Vara and Gary cheered everyone on. Jim and I went upstairs around 11 PM and watched until we both dozed off around midnight. Saying good-night somehow roused us both, and in our bedrooms, we ended up seeing the whole game.

Thursday, January 5, 2006

I awoke fairly early, which was a good thing, as I had two medical appointments today, one an MRI, always a joyful experience, the other a colonic therapy session. Before I tackled those appointments, I was able to:

• Write Duff D. about our channeling policy, which is that we will take the odd question from people and try to work it in at a Sunday meditation. However if there are a lot of questions and they constitute a session by themselves, we recommend that people save up until they can afford a private session. The money for the session goes right to L/L Research, never to me. I have never taken a penny personally for this channeling work.
• Thank Paul C. for a whole lot of visualizing on the L/L DVD project and also his charming 2006 “card.”
• Write a letter to the Bring4th forum on www.lawof1.org about closing the Avalon building.
• Thanked Joey K. for his CD on dowsing, which he gave to our Library, and asked him if he wished to create a link on B4 on dowsing—a wonderful kind of information technique.
• Thanked Steve M. for his donation to the Library of several books on Walter Russell, one of the great metaphysical people of the 20th century. I was so tickled to get these books, as our library was thin on Russell, with only one book ABOUT him on our shelves. Now we have most of what he published! It really rounds out the collection in that area. Can ya tell I are a librarian by nature and training?
• Accession those books into the L/L Research Library.

It was mid-afternoon before I cleared the hospital test and enjoyed a late lunch with the Mick. He was just finishing up Inventory for L/L Research when I got home. Parnell was getting ready to leave for a visit to his father in Nevada and he sat down with Jim and me for a good talk, something we had not done in the last week while he was here, due to our press of activities. It was a pleasure to speak with him. He is very enthusiastic about the idea of seed sessions we are taking to Palm Springs, loves the idea of an audio version of TLOO and in general is most dedicated to continuing to work with us after he has cleared matters with his family. He said also that he and Bob Blue Eagle were still most eager to pursue their Ranger web site and hoped to create the possibility of my joining them by conference phone for Ranger sessions with the Q’uo. He was extremely understanding about our need to close the building project for now, feeling that our reasons were impeccable and our attitude without any harsh edges.

Jim took him to the airport and then we had a bath before he went off to Anchorage City Hall, where there was a village meeting about our getting sewers here. We had hoped this could be avoided as we have perfectly good individual septic systems here in the village, but pressures from the city of Louisville, which surrounds us, make it seem inevitable that we shall have to accept the expense and mess of getting the sewer system installed. Oh joy.

I rested for the evening, having come down with a cold. What good timing that is! Picture me drinking lots of teas, soups, juices and water! And staying quiet, warm and peaceful. It is interesting to watch the way psychic greeting works. The meeting in Palm Springs brings some powerful people who have money to put into good works together to examine how to anchor and spread the light which is contained in TLOO teachings. They are businessmen, publicists, salesmen, people used to doing large projects. They could conceivably really increase the light by what they decide to do to help out and for reasons which humble me they have chosen our work to publicize if they can.

What’s the simplest way to subvert that meeting? Knock me out. SO prayers, please! I am certainly praying big-time. “Holly, help!” is my mantra! Well, that and singing hymns. In times of need I am always singing. Thank you, loyal opposition. Always a pleasure meeting you in the light. I think I will be OK. The Spirit is with me. My symptoms have remained pretty mild. Koff-koff!

After the Gaia meditation we went off for early bedtime, as both of us have this cold. It was Vara’s gift from her Christmas stay in Minnesota. Jim is almost over his cold, where I am just two days into cold symptoms. We’ll see what we can do to recover completely before leaving on Sunday.

Friday, January 6, 2006

Snow flurries were drifting from the chilly skies today as Jim and I cleared the Morning Offering and worked in the office together. Jim was finishing up his work on the L/L Research books while I did various things:

• Wrote Ian concerning volunteers—he sent me a note from a new one which I answered.
• Wrote Steve J about Avalon use—his biodynamic friends are looking for land for various uses and I offered the Avalon land as a place to hold retreats.
• Wrote Ian and Jon G enquiring about whether they were still coming to our Midwinter Gathering.
• Sent to Tobey W. the Kroger and Holiday Inn web sites in Shelbyville so he could investigate the catering and housing for participants in midwinter gathering.
• Wrote Tobey concerning other aspects of the midwinter gathering, which he is producing for L/L Research out of the goodness of his heart.
• Opened the P. O. Box mail. Jim sent some books out; I sent Christmas calendars/letters to all of the people who had sent us cards at the box address.
• Thanked Doug P., who generously sent us a large donation, with a note.
• Sent Light/Lines to a new prisoner requesting it.

Lunchtime came all too soon! I ducked out to get my nails done for the Palm Springs meeting and came back with fast food for both of us. Then we headed for the Norton Immediate Care Center. We are considerably under the weather and with this trip coming up we decided it would be helpful to have some strong antibiotic medication so that we could make the trip without infecting the kind supporters who are holding this meeting to help us.

It turned out that both Jim and I have a substantial sinus infection. In addition I managed to contract some sort of stomach flu and bronchitis. We came back with a “mycin” prescription for us both, and I got three other prescriptions to take to help with the stomach virus and the coughing, two sets of pills and an inhaler, which I have never used before. I feel much relieved that this is done. The thought that we might infect our hopeful benefactors out in California was driving me nuts. I believe now we are good to go, at least by Sunday when the medicine will have taken hold. I must remember to eat yogurt for a few days to replace the intestinal flora the antibiotics knock out.

One thing I really enjoyed about this foray to the doctor’s office is that I got some time to sit down with Bruce’s article on the earth’s core. It is a fascinating look at the Larsonian view of cosmic organization and has a whole lot to say about our current situation as regards a magnetic pole shift. I got about half of the very dense material read and partially grokked while waiting our turn to see the doctor.

When we got back with all our orders and medication, Jim packaged up the remaining books to mail out while I sat down and wrote a thoughtful letter to Bruce. Now that the building project has been stopped at Avalon, there remain many things to do, on Avalon as well as at Camelot. I wanted him to know that whatever he wanted to do, whether to stay here or go back west where he has a ranch, we would help him do that.

I wrote Jeremy several e-mails responding to his questions on issues related to the new B4 web site, which he is just opening. I had tried to get on the site by typing in www.bring4th.org and the address did not work. It turns out that he is still working on the home page. He just has the forums up so far, under the address of www.delta.bring4th.org. He assured me he would give the Home Page make-up his first consideration. Meanwhile the forum address is January 6 2006

Jim K had most kindly sent us a credit card number and asked us to charge him for a donation towards the CD recorder we are planning to purchase but he did not give the address to which the charge card was sent so I wrote to ask him for that. We take Visa and MasterCard charges but the merchant service that enables us to do that has a protocol in which, once the number is entered, you also need to enter the numbers from the charger’s street address and their zip code so the service’s computer can verify that we are charging the right person.

I sent a note to Parnell asking him to send me any specifications he could on what we needed if we could ask for a technical assistant. He had proposed that I ask for such an assistant as well as an office assistant. I thought his suggestion was an excellent one. I had told him about all our ideas for Palm Springs, and that I had included a request for an office assistant so I could do less clerical things and more creative ones. Parnell suggested that we also ask for a professional web guy to help create B4, work with its maintenance and create new services on line as we all would like, things like audio streaming and live chat opportunities for people to get together and ask questions of me and otherwise discuss TLOO in a live setting.

Then I turned to getting the lease agreement, between Jim and me as owners of Avalon and L/L Research as those who use the property for non-profit purposes, written up for 2006. However I ran into such a snag! I tried to print out the form that Jeff P. had sent me but there is some problem with that format and the copier, Sam, which is still limping along doing all the printing while our big printer is being fixed, could not read the format and started spitting out nearly blank pages with runes at the top. Oh, good! And me such a technical wizard too! I turned Sam off and then back on, but that quick fix did nothing except offer me a copier which could not recognize the sending computer.

I tried printing out another project, writing my doctor a fax about Jim’s and my visit to the Immediate care Center, our diagnoses and what medicine we had been given. She had wished for me to fax that info in to her, as she is GP for both Jim and me. She could not see us today, which was why we went elsewhere. The fax would not print either. I fiddled and faddled and gave it up.

Vara has a moving truck rented for tomorrow. She has worked so hard, getting her new place ready to move into! She reports having to use a shovel before she could begin more conventional cleaning. I called Tom F. and Romi V. to round up some help for the big move but had no luck whatever. It will be Jim and Vara doing the moving work!

One great thing about talking to Romi, however, was that over the telephone he was able to tell me how to fix the copier. He knows me well. His instructions reflected my need for simple baby steps: Go to the copier. There is a small black box to its right. There are three plugs. Look for the round one. Remove it and count slowly to ten, then replace the connection. It worked! He told me the electrons got stuck! Interrupting whatever I interrupted got them unstuck. Hey! This is technical information I can understand! (Yeah, right!)

Connie M. had sent a wonderful note about the absent healing she does for me constantly from her home in upstate Indiana and I wanted to respond to that so I managed a far too short thank you to her while Jim ran the bath water.

Oh, that whirlpool felt good tonight! The healing effect of the swirling waters for both Jim and me is remarkable.

I had begun working early and was quite weary, as was Jim. We gratefully took our new medicine and went upstairs to my room to rest and watch some TV. It was a great night for TV, with Amy Goodman pursuing current history relentlessly, investigating Sharon’s mortal illness and what that death might mean to Israel. As well, she looked into the situation in corporate America where the big companies are trying to avoid paying into pension funds. The pension is the bulwark of a middle-class lifestyle. I thoroughly believe, myself, both in unions and in the middle class. The policies practiced in latter years by Republicans in office have eroded the middle class situation in their eagerness to create a better climate for big business.

We then watched some Dharma and Greg. Or rather I watched and then napped; Jim stayed awake! Hearing Vara come in, we went downstairs for an update on her day—she had successfully cleaned the place, including booting some huge, heavy carpets down the stairs and out the door. They were all beyond salvage due to 50 years of abandonment and neglect. The place is now ready to receive her chattel.

We dined together and watched Stargate until the Gaia Meditation. Then I went upstairs early and just collapsed thankfully, enjoying lying down and really resting. Jim came up after he had finished shutting down the house for the day and we enjoyed more TV until our bedtime rolled around.

Saturday, January 7, 2006

I awoke by 6 AM and spent some early morning time sorting out toiletries in my travel kit for the trip to Palm Springs. In Jim’s and my trips to visit family we have accumulated a nice supply of little bottles of motel shampoo and other goodies. I skimmed off most of the loot to give to St. John’s Day Center in downtown Louisville, where homeless men and women can come to clean up. It is good to share the bounty of our generous culture.

I cleaned out the spam in my Inbox and wrote the Camelot Journal entry before going down for my morning snuggle with Jim. We had Morning Offering and then Jim and I had a glorious undressing of the Christmas tree, laying the old ornaments away, taking down the lights and packing up all our crèches, angels, Santas, bells, wreaths and banners. There is so much memory in this sweet work! Each ornament brings back the memory of the people who gave the ornaments to us. In our case a lot of our ornaments are from Megan A. She donated them to me while at a workshop at our house back in the mid-80s, when she found that all of my own had been lost in a move. She herself was in full midlife spate and had been empty-nested and divorced. She was ready to lighten up, so she sent me a box filled with home-made ornaments from her kids’ growing up years. We also have many other more elegant and beautiful ornaments friends have given us but none are dearer than Megan’s humble candy canes and lop-sided angels. By the time we had the regalia of Yuletide stripped down and packed and the living room restored to tidiness it was lunchtime.

After lunch Jim and Vara set out to fill her rented truck with all of her household goods. While they went in and out with countless boxes I got to the e-mail. The business of the day included:

• Working on the midwinter gathering. I wrote Bruce P. and Mark H. to ask if they were planning to come, as Tobey is trying to count heads for planning the catering. Chris H., Moderator of the asc2k forum on David Wilcock’s ascension2000.com site, had written to ask about the gathering so she could tell the forum participants more about it, and I wrote her, giving her some details. Then I wrote Tobey, who was wondering if it was OK for people to stay in motels other than the Holiday Inn Jim and I had found. He had located two less expensive places to stay there in Shelbyville. I said that was fine.
• Receiving permission from Joey K. to make a link with his dowsing site.
• Taking down a new address for one of our volunteer transcribers, Merrilyn G.
• Writing Jeremy W. on various web site matters pertaining to moving the Journals back over from lawof1.org to B4
• Writing Mark H., who is interested in coming to the Palm Springs meeting. He lives nearby.
• Asking Doris S. to share information with our tax accountant, Linda D.
• Clearing some general e-mail and recording all the new Christmas card sends, getting the contact information right for next year’s list and clearing away the day’s mail from the desk.
• Responding to a couple of questions from the lawof1 forums which I found interesting.
• Establishing contact with Rob S., who is selling us insurance.

Sometimes when I have been working on e-mail for a long while, I surface as if from a dream. I am dazed, as my whole attention has been flowing through my fingers. It is a very concentrated state of mind. When I find myself in that state I tend to think, ironically, that surely, if I must focus that hard, should it not be on something more life-saving, world-saving or important? But in the end, it is these relationships we tend in e-mail that are the very stuff of life!

I shook off the focus and got up to finish neatening the living room. It had lost not only a Christmas tree but Vara’s couch and love seat. Gary came in from drilling at Fort Knox and remarked that the place felt as though we were just moving in. I re-positioned the furniture we had left so it will work its best until Jim and I get back from this trip and shop for a new couch and love seat. That blew the cobwebs out!

I spent the late afternoon and evening up until about 7:30 plunging into a new deep focus, working on proposal sheets for the Palm Springs meeting. Jim and I had come up with seven suggestions and here they are, right from the proposal:

1. Assistance for Carla.
1. Office Assistant—30 hours per week.
2. Web and Technical Assistant—20 hours per week.
3. Book-keeper—20 hours per month plus 20 hours in January/February to create finished tax information.
2. Get the rights back from Donning/Whitford/Schiffer for the Law of One material.
3. Create an audio version of the Law of One material.
4. Create seed sessions based on seed concepts/quotes from the Law of One material as a teaching tool.
5. Create an L/L Research DVD.
6. Create an audio version of A Wanderer’s Handbook.
7. Create a Law of One 101 book.

I wrote comments on each suggestion and was just printing out copies of the finished work for Mick to check when he and Vara returned home, having triumphed victoriously over the boxes and household goods. Fortunately for them, it was a crystal clear night with a bright half-moon, for Vara has no power out there yet. Allegedly there is service to the house but it needs to be hooked up again. Everything was unloaded, Vara’s cats were happily exploring and the truck was returned. We took Vara out for a farewell dinner, reminiscing and laughing over all that has transpired in the last three years we have spent together. We offered the Gaia meditation at the restaurant and enjoyed the moment thoroughly.

Needless to say, the two were exhausted! Vara drove off for the last time from our Camelot parking area, headed for her new home and new life, and Jim and I blessed her on her way and went thankfully up to bed.

Sunday, January 8, 2006

This was the day Jim and I took Camelot on the road! He and I arose comfortably late and had our puzzle and morning offering. I took care of correspondence with Jon G. regarding the Inaudible Tape Project he has taken on; with Paul Crawford regarding the L/L Research DVD Project and with Tobey W. regarding details of the Midwinter Gathering—I could handle everything except his questions about the schedule. It looked close to perfect but I was concerned about the opening and closing meditations and the lack of time spent on the 22nd archetype, The Fool. I explained to Tobey that I would take that schedule with me and Jim and I would look it over together.

Then it was time to pack up clothes and heating pad, papers and toiletries and head to the airport for a trip to Palm Springs. We had a rough start because of our forgetting our e-ticket and leaving it behind at the ticketing counter. We did not discover our lapse until we were through the ponderous process of security checks and had gotten an electric cart to take me to the gate. Jim went all the way back to the ticketing desk, a serious hike, only to find out that the thoughtful ticketer had noted our leaving the papers behind and kindly sent them up to our gate. Half an hour later Jim reappeared, hot, sweaty, and thoroughly exercised. He was not a happy man!

The flight was broken in Houston for a 3-hour layover. Oh, joy! My knees had completely seized up on me because of the small jet’s cramped seating space and no way to elevate the feet, and though I asked to stay in their members-only lounge so I could put my feet up and get some relief, Continental Airlines had no interest whatever in my comfort. The best they could do was to offer me, for $50.00, a one-day membership. Jim fixed me up a nice ottoman out of our carry-on luggage instead and we did just fine in the public seating. It will be a cold day in Gehenna before I travel Continental again. Their refusal to help me was combined with their overbooking the flight out of Houston and they were giving away a first-class seat, plus $500.00 cash, if someone would please take a later flight. Clearly their priorities and use of money need some attention.

We had left home before noon. We arrived in Palm Springs about 11 PM our time, 8 PM California time. Jean-Claude K. and his niece, Sharon, met us and rented us a car and we found the hotel they had rented for us. It is a spa and resort called Mira Monte. My hospital bed was all set up. They had only forgotten one detail—a bed for Mick. The front desk was called and they quickly rolled us in a rollaway bed which worked just fine. We fell into bed most thankfully!

Monday, January 9, 2006

Jim and I slept like babies, he in his rollaway bed and I in my hospital bed. I awoke at 8 AM Kentucky time—a long and luxurious sleep for me—but that made it 5 AM here. I washed up, wrote the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday and played some solitaire to relax and enjoy myself until Jim awakened.

Jim had brought some pastries in when he brought in our late supper last night, and we enjoyed the continental breakfast of our orange juice and Danish, then had morning offering. We took a shower—this room does not sport a bathtub—dressed, found the place we were to meet the group at 10 AM and had just enough time to stop and get me some cough drops before arriving at Thane International’s offices. We met Wendy, who had lived all around the world. Her experience is in social work and as well, she has created two award-winning documentaries. Rochelle is a channel and has had movie production experience. Elizabeth is an actress and film-maker whose work has been recognized in the industry as excellent. Denise and Bill are the hosts of this gathering and the co-founders of Thane International, a company that produces infomercials. Denise has produced about 90 of these half-hour infomercials over the last 16 years. Bill, President of Thane, is the concept man and the developer of the products of which Denise is the creative executive officer. Wynn is an author and partner with Don N. in a spiritually oriented radio—on-line program, The Don & Wynn Show, on which I was interviewed by them in early December. Don is a wealthy organic cosmetics businessman who devotes most of his time now to service to others with his spiritually oriented on-line radio channel. Sharon is the head of the support group for Parkinson’s disease, directing over 800 volunteers and despite her youth—she was by far the youngest member of this group, being in her younger thirties—she is perhaps the most passionately riveted person in the group when it comes to developing substantial aid for us. Diana is Bill’s admin and Denise’s sister. She was there in a supporting role, seeing to our comfort, but she also contributed several times most helpfully in the day’s discussion. Jean-Claude is a retired businessman who has written a book called Going Deeper which was written using concepts for TLOO. And there is Jim and I to round out the twelve gathered around Bill and Denise’s beautiful conference table.

It was a full day of discussion. We first went around the table introducing ourselves, much as we would do at a Sunday meeting. Then we started in on working with the concepts we wanted to use in creating a vehicle for publicizing TLOO and its core concepts. There were many conversational side roads taken, many stories around the table to listen to and many diversions to irrelevant matters, which is only to be expected at a meeting where 12 strangers come together and there is the natural egoic tap-dance. In fact, I had expected this factor to weigh far more heavily into the day’s work than it did. People would rein themselves back in and get back to the main task, voluntarily. It was, in its own way, a miracle.

We had a prayer to seat the morning’s discussion offered by me, in which I invoked the Holy Spirit and everyone’s extended family of guidance from the unseen realms. We had a lunch ordered in and then I left the group in order to tune, since the group wanted to ask the Q’uo questions about what we had done so far. Naturally, the Q’uo were not about the tell us what to do, which could have been disappointing to the group, but they were listening hard and “got” the Q’uo’s advice: do the work internally to achieve clarity and then share gifts in creating just what we freely chose to create.

After this channeling, I was generously given the chance to make my plea for help. My project suggestions are all sound and people felt that they were all good ideas but at the end of the day, the group feeling was that our first, beginning step should be to create an infomercial so we could begin to “brand” me and TLOO to a mainstream audience. Denise has done this kind of project over and over and knows how to position a product.

I personally feel this is a good idea. To publicize the Law of One, a vehicle of that sort is good and is something she and Bill can do easily as their production facilities are already set up. There were all sorts of signals that Bill and Denise would use me if Jim and I could move to California. I explained that Jim is a landscaper and lawn man and makes the money to pay our bills by this work. He cannot pick up and move house unless he is coming to a situation in which he has work to do that will pay those bills. No one was daunted by this and the group apparently will try to create a structure where we will both draw a salary for doing this work. All the film and TV, radio and general experience in the group seemed to point to me as a spokesperson. To me this remains “pie-in-the-sky.” My basic feeling is that this will occur only in the fullness of time, not at all immediately, and perhaps not at all!

I think I can do a good job of being a spokesperson at this point in my life and look forward to whatever opportunities arise. I will be extraordinarily surprised if this pans out, but if it does occur, I will know for sure that Spirit is guiding our way. There is a huge amount of money involved in creating such an atmosphere and opportunity for Jim and me. We shall see over time if these desires of the group to get me out where I can do production without traveling mature into any solid manifestation. If they come to nothing, Jim and I will have lost nothing and gained the experience of feeling the love and affection of this group for us and for our work.

Jean-Claude and Sharon took Jim and me to a local Mexican restaurant after the day-long meeting where I had the best steak quesadilla of my entire life and a marvelous conversation. Sharon is idealistic and extremely moved by issues of fairness and justice and we had a long talk about how to put that righteous indignation to good ad productive positive use.

Jean-Claude surprised me with a very generous suggestion which was separate from the group discussion. He has just been invited to do a weekly column for UPI, a press service that puts out lots of articles for local newspapers to pick up. He would like, he says, to do this column with me. It is a huge opportunity for me, with my writing skills and experience in the metaphysical, to make contribution writing about spirituality. It is also a great way to get my name out there in the mass media and start the “branding” process. I agreed instantly. Obviously, that’s even one MORE thing for me to do when I am already swamped. However both Bill and Jean-Claude—both very wealthy men—encouraged me to have faith that staff to support my work was on their minds. If THAT comes through, my goodness, what an incredible blessing! To be able to start the day on creative projects and not need to move into clerical, technical or book-keeping work would be a dream come true.

Jean-Claude will bring me the details on the UPI job tomorrow. It sounds simple enough. We would be writing 400-word articles weekly.

Jim and I came back to the resort to find that Jim’s rollaway bed had been replaced with an elegant, spacious king-sized bed on which we can snuggle in great ease, so snuggle we did, watching CSI, talking about the day, and eventually drifting into sleep.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

What a whirlwind of a day! Certainly yesterday’s group meeting was a powerful experience. However the passing of the night seemed to have created in everyone an increase in a dedication to helping the Law of One information be more widely disseminated. Jim and I awoke late, having caught up at last with being in California, and had the sketchiest of Morning Offerings before arriving at Thane’s company offices.

Bill started the morning off by suggesting that we explore ways to get an income stream going for L/L Research. Several different ideas were fielded. Don especially could envision ways to link to products we sell so that his site could funnel business our way. Elizabeth suggested that since she works for Shirley MacLaine, doing work for her web site, reviewing books and so forth, she could suggest that our book be reviewed and that I be interviewed. I told her I welcome that chance if it comes and thanked her for the idea! She will follow through by e-mail. As we went around the table, it seemed that each person had some ideas for ways to spread the news.

It was a productive morning! The only discouraging word on the range was when Elizabeth responded to a question of Bill’s about her friends in her own home neighborhood, which include Shirley MacLaine, Ali McGraw and Marsha Mason. Bill, a businessman, knows about the aid which a well known name gives to a publicity project and so they were talking Big Names. Sharon became most upset, feeling that we had departed from talking about how to help TLOO. She ended up blasting Elizabeth with righteous indignation and walking out on the meeting, after giving me and Jim a big hug.

Fortunately, Elizabeth was on the ball. She asked me why Sharon had blown up at her. I am fresh from three years of watching how the hall-of-mirrors effect works when people group together to serve the light, and said, “She is just so much like you! So you are providing a clear mirror for her and she is having trouble coping with what she sees. It has nothing to do with you—you were fine!” So she took that in and within a couple of minutes had processed it. No longer hurt or angered, she immediately wanted to balance things with Sharon. Synchronistically, Sharon had stalked out forgetting her car keys, so had to come back for them and Elizabeth met her halfway across the parking area. They were, I think, able to rebalance, forgive and come back into harmony, for which I am very grateful. Sharon said on her way out that she would contact me and hopefully visit us here in Kentucky soon. I look forward to her visit. We will further explore how we can work together. She is a powerful and smart woman whose passion is for the good of the planet.

Wynn had asked for a private time with me, so we split up into three groups for lunch. Jim went to huddle with Bill Hay, the rest of the group except for Wynn and I went off together and Wynn and I went to a nearby bistro where I had some really good homemade squash soup and listened to Wynn. Wynn would like to create a series of “Everyman Channelings” with the Q’uo group and make a book which would be, hopefully, a simplified and more easily accessible version of the guiding principles of TLOO.

Meanwhile Bill and Jim agreed that he and Denise would indeed donate funds so that I can hire an administrative assistant for the office and a book-keeper for the lawn service, the household and L/L Research.

Back at the conference table, I shared Wynn’s idea. Jean-Claude suggested that the better way to make such a simplified study aid might be to interview me, being me, no channeling involved. That resonated with me. Since Jean-Claude, Don and Wynn agreed during the course of the day’s conversation to form a marketing committee and have agreed to talk frequently and create suggestions together, I suggested to Jean-Claude, whose life experience and personality type make him that committee’s natural leader, that he work further with Wynn on this and help to refine the idea, one way or another. Were I to have to be the one to choose, I would probably suggest that we go with the me-as-me approach, since I am on Earth and hopefully can speak with more solidity as a person that can the Q’uo. However the energy of channeling has its own unique beauty. I will cooperate with either approach. I would not be surprised to see them come up with a blended approach, using interview and channeling together.

Bill and Denise have a target in mind as they offer me this donation: my writing the LOO 101 book. I have had a working outline for that book since 2002. However I have had no time to create it. You who have read in this journal before know that I have no less than four books, already fully created, that have not gotten out because I have not even been able to find the time to read through and OK them for publication. The prospect of time to myself to create is heady.

In fact the whole two days constitutes a heady experience. It is a wonderful thing to rest in the appreciation of these people. Jim made a speech! It is unusual for him to say anything in a group situation unless directly asked, and when he asked for the talking stick, which happened for this group to be a candy cane. I was most intrigued as to what was on his mind.

My beautiful husband! I was so proud of him when he said, “I just want to thank everyone.” He was so on-target. Gratitude is surely the order of this day!

I carefully copied down the notes Denise had made concerning this project. I had thought that she was focusing down on an infomercial, but even if that is so, the infomercial would undoubtedly be selling this book, so it is important to have her points in mind when starting the writing.

After the meeting was officially over, we had a variety of rich and loving contacts with the people around the table. Wendy came forward to ask if she could introduce us to some friends of hers, and we were glad to oblige, as we had some time between then and the appointment for a debriefing dinner with Bill and Denise. Jim and I just had time to return to the hotel and shower before she and her guests arrived. In the pressure of the day, I cannot remember the names of those whom she introduced to us. Forgive me, Lord. They were a mother and son who were fans of the material and wished us well.

Elizabeth and I promised to forge towards an interview on Shirley MacLaine’s web site, something I know I will enjoy. We gave her the one copy of TLOO which we had with us so she could read it. Amazingly enough, she had never read that material, though she was quite familiar with our web site. I guess she likes the Q’uo channelings the best. She is not alone in that preference. And it makes sense. TLOO of the purest and clearest material of all of ours, but it is dense and takes some work to comprehend fully. The Q’uo channelings are much easier to read.

Wynn, Don and Jean-Claude and I have several irons in the fire. It will be fascinating to see what shall occur.

Denise and Bill will offer us some funding for staffing for the next three months while I create a LOO 101 book. I look forward to this challenge greatly. The expectations of this book, especially in Denise’s mind, are fairly specific. I shall enjoy seeing what I can do to create a story she will enjoy. If she likes it, perhaps so will others.

Rochelle and I? I am not sure. I enjoyed her tremendously. Whether or not we can collaborate, her good will involves linking with our site and talking about the law of one. Where can that go wrong? She left her address with Jim and asked him to mail her the material to read—she is another woman who loves us without having read TLOO!

Sharon will travel to Kentucky further to explore how we might work together. Diana was not there today.

Don will be a white knight for us; this I can feel. We shall see how it turns out but I believe his intentions are golden.

I am thoroughly tickled with this whole exercise. I have received way more than that for which I hoped, for I had no prior expectations. I figured this whole exercise as a 1000-to-1 long shot. We have been most fortunate.

And do not forget, we have had some blessed time to be together away from the usual round of activity. It has been a blast to be in sunny, mild California; La La Land indeed, where the natural climate is desert and where watering creates an artificial paradise. I would prefer the waterworks were turned off and the land allowed to express itself as a desert, but then that’s just me. Meanwhile, seeing the bougainvillea and the palm trees is a kick indeed.

The final experience of the day was a visit for supper with Bill and Denise in their home in a gated community in La Quinta, perhaps some of the most expensive real estate I ever saw. Their home was a true home. It was also a most impressive, vast and unique house, worthy of being the subject of “beautiful homes” type article in the media. It was a pleasure to enjoy their company as well as that of their Siamese cat, a contact Jim and I were glad to make as we miss our own kitties.

I am full of thankfulness as I prepare for bedtime this night. Jim and I are exhausted. But the experience has been so very much worth it. I am so glad we took the leap of faith and came.

And so to bed, at the end of a wonderful time of focus. Thank you, Lord.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

We were awakened by the wake-up call at 5 AM. We figured out later in the day that this was the perfect time to get up in California and come to Kentucky, as our off-season wake-up time is 8 AM. We did the motel-room stumble dance, checking drawers and counters, getting all of our goods packed away and washing up in the spacious bathroom. We set out for Palm Springs, saying good-bye to the Mira Monte resort, which was quite beautiful, and driving through a half-hour of Christmas-lit palm trees and valley flatness, with low-lying mountains all around, to the airport from Indian Wells. The rental car was returned, we located a wheelchair and got through the security routine and were at our gate in good time.

The trip went well. We had a smooth time of it, helped by people making wheel chairs available for my use, which was a real blessing. Any travel is hard on me because of my damaged feet and their propensity for developing stress fractures under normal walking usage. I can walk, but I must tread softly and slowly. In modern travel situations it seems one must navigate miles of corridors to change planes, usually in a rush. Jim found wheel chairs and pushed me along like a champ, while I held the carry-on stuff in my lap. In Houston, we had been concerned for our layover was only 45 minutes long. However Jim managed not only to man the wheelchair and get us to the right gate but also to find a source of delicious hot dogs on which we made our lunch.

It was sunny and chill when we landed in Louisville. The day had melted away under time-change and we got home at 5 PM. Gary had just left this morning for his visit to see Ed in Nashville, leaving us in splendid isolation to greet our dear kitties, Pickwick and Sedgwick, and to be enveloped in the welcoming aura of Camelot. There truly is no place like home!

Jim caught up on telephone calls, receiving his first JLS work of the New Year—the removal of some dead trees from a customer’s property—and I rested back, my sore knees elevated and comfy at last, and Picky and Sedge on or around me. Ah! Exhausted, I alternated between working the puzzles I had missed while gone and sleeping in my chair.

Jim and I sat for a while, soaking up the home vibes, conversing about the experiences we had had at the gathering in Palm Springs. It is wonderful to contemplate being able to hire some dedicated help to free me up for creative work. It has been very good to make these contacts and I want to follow up with them. I know first names and we have e-mail addresses. I would like to fill out that contact information. I have especially to follow up with Jean-Claude. His offer of a co-byline on a weekly UPI column is generous and I want to get squared away on what we shall do and how we shall proceed.

Full of thanksgiving, we came up to bed early and snuggled happily until we both were drowsing, at which time we said good-night.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Waking up in one’s own bed is heavenly! A warm day greeted Jim and me as we finished Morning Offering. Jim did some office work while I got the last four days of the Camelot Journal finished and up on the site. Then I worked with the most necessary of the e-mail. I responded to Linda, our tax accountant. I sent Tim a new request to be added to the “send” list for Light/Lines. I wrote Judy R. regarding her visit, as she is not sure whether to come because of having a cold. I wrote a letter to the B4 forum on the trials of getting used to the new system and also explaining more about our “round table” concept for the B4 site.

Mick and I got together for lunch, resting in each other’s company and finishing with the stretching routine that helps us both keep limber. Then Jim went off to take down a customer’s dead mimosa trees, one large cane of which had done unfortunate things to a neighbor’s fence. I got out the tape measure and measured the spaces into which the furniture we are buying will need to fit. We are looking for a couch and love seat for the living room and office furniture for me. I will take Morris H’s suggestion and create a private office where Vara’s bedroom was upstairs right next to my bedroom. It will mean that I no longer work in the public areas of the house, the downstairs office and living room, into which people always feel free to come and have a chat. I can close the door and settle in to work undisturbed.

Then I tackled the loaded desk. Four days’ mail was processed, and while doing this I enjoyed the thought that one day soon I will not be doing this particular chore. I will be able to focus on editing and writing. Pardon me while I do a happy dance in my head! I got a letter from Papa, merely 36 pages long, which for him is brief! However the printer is no longer working, yet again. I wrote a trouble report to Romi and disposed of all the mail.

I returned telephone calls, took down an order for books and re-made two appointments which I had missed because of being out of town. I had mistaken the date and thought I would be back on the 10th. Not so! I was not back until the evening of the 11th and two MDs were upset with me. I pleaded a senior moment and was kindly forgiven.

I finished the unpacking process, tucking many small things away and finally clearing the last of the Christmas gifts as well. (Now to write the thank-you notes!) It was suddenly bath time. We had a lovely whirlpool and got dressed again to go furniture shopping. We went to a discount furniture store across the Ohio River in southern Indiana and walked it, slowly, thoughtfully, sitting in many a couch, and finally chose a couch and love seat that we feel will complement our rug. We have an Oriental carpet in the living room that has lots of red, beige, dark and light blues and off-white in it. The fabric of the set we chose is beige, a rather robust darker beige. The cushions are beige on one side and a deep red design on the other side, so one can play endlessly with the color scheme by reversing cushions and pillows. It won out over the second choice, which was a beige leather set. The leather set was more practical, since leather is so long-wearing, but we liked the energy and colors of the other set. It will be delivered next Wednesday, so for next Sunday’s meditation we shall be using card-table chairs and office chairs and the occasional pillow!

We stopped at the Jazz Factory for a set with Kays and Walker, and what a treat that was! They are such choice musicians and their arrangements of the old standards are just wonderful. I got a copy of their latest CD to send to Papa for his birthday, which is coming up soon. He’s fond of good jazz.

We got home just in time for the Gaia Meditation. Then we were inspired to do a late work session and I got started on editing the Sunday session we had done on New Year’s Day. It was interesting to read what the Q’uo had to say about fear, regarding 2012 and all that. I got it about halfway done before Jim was ready to go upstairs.

We ended the day snuggling and watching a bit of ER on TV. And so to bed!

Friday, January 13, 2006

The morning began as usual with a snuggle, a puzzle and morning offering offered by Jim and me. Jim toddled off on Jim’s Lawn Service business and I greeted Dottie K, who is interested in doing our book-keeping. We had a long and good conversation. I showed her all around the office and the house and she spent some time on her own looking into the QuickBooks set-up on Growler.

Parenthetically, our computers have names—I am working presently on the laptop, Traveller, which is slaved to Maggie’s desktop at present. Maggie is my computer in the office. Growler is the computer in the office which Jim uses and which also has our QuickBooks on it. Now that Vara’s computer is not tied in to the house network, we have only one other computer on the network, Gary’s. I do not know if he has named his computer!

Dottie left around noon and Jim came in soon thereafter. We enjoyed lunch and stretching together and he went back to finish fixing his customer’s broken fence. I worked with some e-mail, writing Linda D. on taxes for 2005, writing Ian about an older transcript which Gino C. had sent in and letting Gino know the status of other tapes he is holding. Some still need transcribing while others have been done by alternate transcribers.

I finished editing the 1-1-06 transcript and sent that in to Ian, as well as to the others who were at that meeting. After trying to print out that session for Papa and being unable to do so, I let Romi know that the printer would not print again. Later this evening, Gary volunteered to call Romi and troubleshoot and they got the printer going again, though for how long is anyone’s guess. I look at the stack of three broken printer drums waiting by the door for pickup, and the fact that the printer has mostly not worked with this fourth drum, and I rather think we are on shaky printer ground!

The rest of the afternoon was spent editing on the interview with me from the Don and Wynn Show on 12-3-2005. This is an on-line radio interview show on the channel, BBS Radio. Its web site is http://www.bloginservice.com/bbc/index.shtml. I believe you can hear me there. The transcript I received from Wynn is in woeful shape, speaking as an editor. Whoever transcribed it did not grasp the concept of apostrophes. The word, “you’re,” for instance, is always typed as “your.” “It’s” is “its.” And so forth through (which is transcribed as thru) a 30-page manuscript. I kept my head down and still got only about half the thing finished before bath time.

I am trying hard to get the channeling and other editing caught up before I plunge into responding to the Palm Springs meeting, which will take a good while, once I get into it. I had hoped to get the interview finished before Gary got the Palm Springs channeling done, but no such luck! That transcript showed up in my box by dinnertime, thanks to Gary’s hard work. So I shall need to edit the Palm Springs transcript and send that to the group who met there, and then finish the interview editing.

Jim and I were just finished with our whirlpool and getting dressed when Judy R. arrived from Virginia for a weekend’s visit! We last saw Judy about five years ago, when she came with her mother for a similar visit. Judy has been a part of L/L Research for 15 years, coming to many of our workshops through the years and always sending us the most loving of thoughts and correspondence. She is one of the best girlfriends I have on this earth! It is so grand to be in the flesh with her once more. You forget what a positive joy that is until it happens! We have hopes of working on our digital photos, which I have yet to learn to use, this weekend.

We sat down for the luxury of a long conversation and chatted away the time until 8 PM, when Jim’s and my favorite TV show, Stargate, came on with not one but two new episodes, so we turned our attention to the tube and had a pleasant supper. I found myself drowsing even before the Gaia Meditation. By 10 PM, I was a goner! Judy said that she too was weary, having driven all day, so we all retired early.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

I slept so well! I barely awoke before time to snuggle with Mick at 8 AM! It is a rare treat to have a natural sleep that lasts so late. I put it down to the incredibly good vibrations that Judy carries! We had a good Morning Offering and then Jim headed out to do some outdoor work. I got Judy squared away with the photo project, showing her where things were in files and on the computer. She settled down to figure out how to work the camera and computer software, find out where our images were on all three computers and all points in between.

I had a series of e-mails with Kathy G, who will have a channeling session with us on Tuesday. She is trying to get her questions worked out. Often I suggest to clients that they change the wording of a question, as I can see that as asked, the question will not bring forth any information. Kathy’s question was worded, “I think I may be a wanderer.” She then asked for verification. I suggested the re-wording, “I am a wanderer.” Worded that way, it is a firm statement and often the Q’uo can confirm such a statement. However she is not all that sure! So we’re still working with that question.

I got the Camelot Journal entry written for yesterday and then turned to the editing of the session done at Thane during our meeting there on January 9. I had to find a Biblical quote for one footnote, which was fairly easy, and the exact wording of an old hymn for the other footnote, which was not so simple, as my present hymnal no longer contains that song. I found it in an old hymnal I have had since childhood, thank heaven. The session edited itself out well and I sent the editing copy to Ian, who will check all my “tracked changes” and do a final edit before putting it up on site. This technique guarantees the best possible chance of our putting clean material up.

By this time it was nearly lunch time, so I did a general e-mail clean up, cleared my desk of snail mail and found my paperwork for recording all the e-mail addresses from the Thane-Koven meeting. By this time Jim had returned and Judy was ready for a break, so we stopped for a pleasant lunch and then we three stretched. It was fun having someone else join our little routine. We really filled up the living room floor!

Jim went upstairs for some much-deserved off-time, watching a football game, while Judy returned to her explorations of all things photo-related and I sat down to share the channeling from the meeting with each person who was at that meeting. I wrote letters to Sharon, Elizabeth, Rochelle, Don, Wynn, Denise, Bill, Wendy, Jean-Claude and Diana, all the people who had attended the two-day gathering, sending each the channeling in its rough-draft form and thanking them for the time together. I attempted to follow through with whatever signals had been given me by each person and to encourage further interaction.

In the best rhythm for which one could ever ask, I finished the last letter just as Jim called bath time. We had a wonderfully restorative rest in the water, got clean and enjoyed some time together. Then I went back downstairs to check in with Judy, who had developed some questions for me on the photo project. We cleared those and then got ready for Romi’s treat.

Roman, who has also been friends with Judy for over a decade, had decided to treat Judy and me to a supper at the India Palace. (Jim often passes on such evenings out.) It was wonderful food and the best company in the world! We talked over old times, new times, things that have happened to us since we last were together and ideas of all kinds over excellent Indian cuisine and wine. The restaurant itself was elegant and beautifully decorated in a simple way which included heavy wooden chairs with deep, soft cushions and good support, the best of napery and cutlery and so many nice touches, dear to my little heart. The waiter knew Romi and so all was most enjoyable in every way. Thank you, Romi!

Back home, we sat together with Gary and Jim and conversed until our eyes became too droopy and we all wished each other sweet dreams and toddled off to our respective rests.

Monday, January 16, 2006

My goodness, but this was a tough day for me, tough on the nerves! After Morning Offering, Jim departed to spend the day working for a client while Judy and I sat down with the Camelot Journal entry I had made for yesterday with the idea of adding photos to it. Judy had gotten the camera to work again. She had taken several pictures at the meeting Sunday. We had worked with embedding pictures in text. One would have thought we were all ready!

But no. the entire morning was spent trying to get the camera to work, the software to work and even the computers to work. By lunchtime we had achieved nothing except for a big mess. I did send an entry in with pictures in it, but I had to do it from Jim’s computer, as that is where the pictures are stored. That caused some problems. The rest of the problems were caused by the embedded images, which the site on which the journal sits is not geared to receive images by e-mail, I guess.

I ended up having to ask Bruce to take out the entry that had gotten botched and replace it with one free of photos. Sorry, folks! No pictures in the Camelot Journal yet.

Vara came over and we went to lunch. It was a treat indeed to have sashimi with her. We talked over the possibility of her being my admin. She does not feel she can at this time. So I will continue to talk with Gary about his helping me.

I returned home late in the afternoon as we had lingered, talking and just being girlfriends. I felt dazed and ill, so rested for the half-hour or so until Jim came in and called bath time. My right ear has never popped out from the airplane travel on the 13th, and now my left ear is also stopped up. It is odd to “hear” one’s own blood pulsing through and when I speak it echoes! There is a lot of inner noise in the head as well.

I rested and napped through a gentle evening of TV—Stargate, Democracy Now, World Music and the Golden Globes Awards. Hopefully I will feel much better tomorrow!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Jim and I cleared Morning Offering and Jim settled into a morning of office and around-home work, enjoying his off-season. I did the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday, worked repeatedly with Kathy G. throughout the morning to finalize her questions for her channeling session and worked with Tobey on the final version of the Gatherings Newsletter, which will also be the text blurb we put up on our web sites to let people know about the gathering. It seems to me to be shaping up as a very intensive weekend, well thought out by Tobey and created in a beautiful setting, at the home of Steve F and Sandie S in Shelbyville, KY, a short drive from the Louisville airport.

Finishing what I could do on our February 10-12 gathering on the archetypes, I started working again on editing the interview I gave on the Don and Wynn Show on December 3. It was the first one of these shows ever where the hosts sent me a transcript of the show. Someone went to a huge amount of trouble and lovingly took the show off tape and on to a digital form. It was unfortunate that this saintly transcriber did not know a lot about grammar, for it made the transcript a bear to edit.

Jim and I had lunch together, always a true luxury, and then it was time for me to tune for Kathy’s session. She called in right on time and we had a good session, I think. Her questions were about how she was doing with her soul agenda in this incarnation and how to better visualize.

I went back to working on the interview for the remainder of the afternoon. After our bath, Jim and I had intended to go shopping for furniture for my upstairs office, but when we went out to the car our feet were crunching on little ice pellets falling from the skies and we decided this was not the best evening to go driving. We were right- throughout the evening we heard about many fender-benders for those who braved the bad weather. The streets iced up very quickly.

I had a good talk with Gary, who is trying to figure out whether he can help me in the office. He has a good, steady job at Cracker Barrel and would need to cut down on those hours in order to work for me. Yet he would like to help me out. The money is about the same, so he simply needs to find his own best way to do the work. I felt, after our talk, that this would probably work out well for us both

Jim and I decided to use the time for a late work period and I went back to the interview and, at last, finished the editing. The show’s text turned out to be 34 pages long! I went to bed very happy to have gotten that done!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

What a snowy world we woke up to! The icy rain of last evening had turned to snow and we had about 3 inches of pretty white fluff atop about an inch of frozen rain and ice, making the roads pretty bad until the sun came out around 9 AM. Then rapidly, things thawed. By 10 AM all roads were clear and Dottie K. was able to show up for her first day as book-keeper here at L/L Research.

After Jim and I finished our morning offering and before she came, I worked in my chair on Traveller, getting the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday written and sent in and editing as well as I could the interview on the Don and Wynn Show to send to Don and Wynn. It will be a while before Ian gets that finally edited version up on www.llresearch.org and I wanted them to have it ASAP, as Wynn especially had suggested that he wanted it quickly.

I had decided to work in the downstairs office instead of my living room Mama chair today so that whenever Dottie had questions for me, I would be able to answer them. For some questions, my only answer was Vara’s telephone number! She is being most gracious about helping Dottie get acclimated and they had several conversations during Dottie’s time here. Dottie worked from 10:30 to 3:30. I was impressed by her grasp of things! I think once she gets all our little anomalistic ways down she will be wonderful.

I worked on the HP problem with Cornell but came to no good ending. We have three drums waiting to go back to HP, soldiers dead in the service of our printer, which has developed a nasty appetite for drums! I shall add that to the list I am preparing for Gary of things to do.

Jim and I had lunch and stretched. Gary joined us and he and I talked again about scheduling. It looks as though he will be able to assist me! He has to finish his assigned hours until next week, but when he is reassigned hours on Thursday next, he will have asked for fewer hours as a Cracker Barrel server and then be able to help us out.

I caught up with Calvin, my neighbor, who has been ill with bronchitis, as have I. She was concerned about Shadow, whom she calls Talkie, our one remaining outside cat. Apparently while we were in Palm Springs, Shadow disappeared from Calvin’s radar and she was worried that he was not well. He is eminently well, fat as a flawn! He was probably hiding out in the loft of our garage.

I worked a lot during the afternoon on the Midwinter Gathering, talking with Tobey, getting the finished Gathering Newsletter out, and putting the same text up on lawof1 and B4. I tried to get the word out to Ian for the llresearch site but unfortunately I did not make things clear enough to him, so I shall have to compose the thing for Ian so he will be able to insert it whole. I got too fancy! I thought I could revise the home page text without composing it so he’d know exactly what I had in mind. I also sent Ian two old but “new” transcripts as Gino C. finishes out the tapes he got from us to transcribe.

I started in again at the desk, which is cluttered at the station where Growler sits, now that I focus on it, with some of Vara’s old notes and even Melissa’s old notes. In this very polite household, no one has wanted to destroy anyone else’s work. On the other hand, no one has finished out the projects the notes are about. Gary’s list of things to do became longer!

At 4 PM I set out to get my teeth cleaned and when I got back, Jim was ready to go hunt for a recliner for the upstairs office. We went to where the OLD La Z Boy store was. It was not there. We went back home, looked them up, called them for directions and tried again for their NEW store while the sun set gloriously around us. This time we were successful and came home bearing a recliner that feels as though it will do exactly what my Mama chair downstairs does for me: give me some support, being slightly reclined back, so my back and shoulders are better supported than in a vertical, regular office chair at a desk when I type on a laptop on my lap.

I have been repeatedly grateful for being able to work in my recliner, as by doing so I have preserved my ability to get work done on days where I otherwise would have had to rest. I am happy to say that lately, my back has done much better when I sit up all day! But this comes and goes and has for decades, so I am thrilled to get this chair. Jim took the time to set it up for me while I went to choir practice at St. Luke’s. I greatly enjoyed the choir practice. We are doing several new pieces I have not seen before, my favorite thing! We practiced Gounod’s Messe Sollenelle for most of the practice time. That will be uncorked next Easter.

I drove back by the house and gathered up St. James and we had a foray out to listen to Walker and Kays at Clifton’s Pizza to round out the day. We did the Gaia Meditation holding hands in the car on the way! Both the music and the pizza were hot and sweet and we prowled back home in the rich, black night, ready for bed!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Finally, we have a solution to get news about L/L and Bring4th related projects to you! In the coming days you’ll see the (re-)launching of the Camelot journal as well as some more design changes for the site. Stay tuned, and in the meantime, let me know if you have any blogs you’d like me to include on our blogroll!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Dear Friends of L/L Research and The Law of One,

On the weekend of February 10-12, 2006, you are invited to join the group of students of The Law of One who will gather at the lovely and spacious Ferguson-Sedgbeer home in Shelbyville, KY to study the archetypes as discussed by the Ra group in Book IV. The gathering will be an intensive one. The participants will be expected to have delved deeply into Book IV, to have spent time with the cards in meditation, and to be comfortable and familiar with Ra’s division of the cards into three groups: mind, body, and spirit. Tobey Wheelock has prepared a study guide which can be downloaded from http://www.lawofone.info. It will be our curriculum’s heart.

There will be a charge for meals, which we plan to have catered by a local grocery store. Participants will need to make their own lodging plans. Motels in Shelbyville include the Holiday Inn Express at 110 Club House Drive in Shelbyville, KY 40065, telephone number 800-359-2522, and the Best Western at 15 Isaac Shelby Drive, Shelbyville, KY 40065, telephone number 866-270-2849. Other motels can be found at this web site: http://hotel-guides.us/kentucky/shelbyville-ky-hotels.html. We will charge a fee depending on the cost of the food and any other materials needed. There will be no other fee charged by L/L Research. However, we request donations on a free-will basis.

The maximum number of participants that we can handle is about sixteen. At this time, there are nine reservations and several tentatively interested. If you think you would like to join us, please contact Tobey at b4 at lawofone.info (or by PMing me here or just by replying to this thread.)

Our curriculum is one suggested by the Ra group. In Session 88 of the Law of One, Ra said that their plan for teach/learning the archetypical mind to the Egyptian initiates was to introduce the tarot as follows:

“…one, eight, fifteen; two, nine, sixteen; three, ten, seventeen; four, eleven, eighteen; five, twelve, nineteen; six, thirteen, twenty; seven, fourteen, twenty-one; twenty-two. In this way the fundamental relationships between mind, body, and spirit could begin to be discovered, for as one sees, for instance, the Matrix of the Mind in comparison to the Matrices of Body and Spirit one may draw certain tentative conclusions.”

Here is our tentative schedule for this weekend gathering:

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I awoke early enough to write Jeremy about the B4 site, Tobey about the Midwinter Gathering on the archetypes and Cindy F., my dear girlfriend who now lives in Utah. She reports that she will be in town in February and she wants us to get together. I said, “Let’s!”

After Jim and I snuggled, read our paper and offered the Morning Offering, I started in on clearing the office completely of all unknown papers. It was a heady experience to do this! I pulled everything that I did not recognize, every paper and folder and package, out and systematically went through it all. We had three packages I could not identify except that one was for Parnell, one was a wireless mike, if the inside of the package matches the outside, and one was a package of tapes from Mark H. which have finally arrived from his home in California. I wrote Parnell to get his snail mail address, wrote Bruce and Romi to inquire as to where this wireless mike came from and wrote Jon G. to find out if he wanted me to send him the tapes or to keep them until his visit here, which he has been hoping he could schedule soon.

I took some time to write Carmen, who was at the Ranger Gathering last summer, concerning her continuing feelings that she would like to be a part of our little community here. I suggested that she visit here next summer, as she had mentioned, and that we take it slowly as concerns her actually picking up and moving here. I have watched quite a few good volunteers here and on Avalon get spun out of the community earlier than they would perhaps have liked because it IS a spiritually oriented community, which makes it a very clear and probing hall of mirrors, a challenging growth environment.

Jim and I do not think about this at all. We have been together for a quarter century and more. We came together in dedication to living a growth-oriented, spiritual life-style more monastic than social in nature. If we have work to do to restore our enviable harmony, we do it as soon as we physically can. We do so, encouraged by past successes, so we are fearless and straightforward. We both carry that energy of absolute honesty. And we have become aware that this creates a growth environment which most people can only sustain just so long before they begin to crave the peace and quiet of a less intense way of living.

I wrote all that to Carmen and told her I certainly did not want to discourage her entirely. I simply wanted her to know what life is like, as reported by several volunteers, here at Camelot. She has skills I could certainly use! From now on, though, Jim and I will attempt to go forward with much more care and also with more clarity on financial concerns. We need to ask people to be able to take care of their expenses.

I bundled up four snail-mail letters from prisoners and sent them off to our new volunteer for writing prisoners, Jason K. I think it is a wonderful choice for him. He is an invalid, often in bed with tremendous pain from chronic problems. This correspondence is something he can do even from the sickbed and he will be serving the Creator beautifully by being part of the good in the life of these gentlemen, all of whom are living life in very limiting circumstances themselves.

I wrote Brad S., of Beechmont Press, reminding him that we want a price check on all our books. We are trying to create a better, more up-to-date pricing list for our materials.

I took some time to write Jean-Claude K. after typing up the notes from his and my initial telephone conversation back in December of 2005, during which he challenged me to begin using my time better. It is his initiative that has created the meeting in Palm Springs and the subsequent funding of help for me so I can, indeed, focus on creative work.

I am looking to him now for help in focusing down on the work that Wynn Free wants to do with me, of creating a book of “Everyman Channelings” where he, who considers himself a true Everyman, asks the Q’uo questions. He thinks it will make a good book, as do I. However he wants me to do the channeling quickly, and I cannot do that. I feel that for me to do more than three sessions in a week is unadvisable. That means probably no more than one session a month for Wynn, as other sessions are already committed, both public and private.

Jean-Claude had the idea, in Palm Springs, that by having me on the Don and Wynn Show again and perhaps repeatedly for a while, we can gather interview information from me which is as quotable for Wynn’s book as the channeling. I asked him to talk more with Wynn and Don about this.

I sent to Ian Shasta’s last transcript from the old tapes he had. It was great to see the old list become ever closer to being completely finished. I think we still have three tapes out which the people who got them have decided to ignore. I jotted those dates down so that Gary can re-copy those tapes and I can once again send them out to be done. After that, the only tapes still undone will be those which were deemed inaudible by the original transcriber. Jon G. wants those tapes, as he has sensitive equipment that can recover a lot of material the usual equipment cannot. He has already recovered several tapes of material this way.

By the end of the day, I had, by golly, no extraneous papers left to file. There is a stack of notes for Dottie to deal with and a stack for Gary. I was left with various bits and pieces to follow up on, like the name-change thing. I called to get a new insurance card with my full name on it, as it is on my passport: Carla Lisbeth Rueckert-McCarty. I decided about a year ago to use a hyphenated name. Previously I was Carla L. Rueckert professionally and Carla L. McCarty socially. I thought the two-name situation less than good and decided to use the whole name. I changed my passport, so that has the hyphenated name. So do my credit cards.

The Social Security people—I am disabled and Medicare is my primary insurance—said I needed to have my driver’s license changed before they could change my name on the Insurance card. So it’s off to the license bureau tomorrow.

Jim came home from working for a client all afternoon and gathered me up for one last jaunt to supply my office. We visited two big firms and ended up with a really good desk and chair and starter things for office use, like a calculator, a stapler, a tape holder and a wastebasket. It is grand to see the room taking shape. I will hopefully be ready to move up there within the next couple of days, marvelously free at last of all the needs of the downstairs office for further organization or direction. That’s my goal, anyway!

We had a late but delicious supper after the Gaia Meditation and enjoyed conversation and television with Gary until about 10:30, when we all departed the living room bound for bed.

Friday, January 20, 2006

After Morning Offering I went to the License Bureau to get my driver’s license changed but found that I could not do so. In order to change that, I first needed to change my name on my social security card. That was an hour gone out of the day with a gain of information only: I need to get together my passport and my birth certificate and drive way across town to the social security office and do that in person.

I came home and wrote up the last two days of the Camelot Journal. I wrote Vara, asking her if she could stop by Wednesday when Dottie is here so that she can impart to Dottie her invaluable knowledge concerning our QuickBooks system. And I wrote Sandie working with the Planet Light Worker question for the session later today.

Then it was time for a very quick lunch and two doctor’s appointments. The first was with an actual doctor, Michelle A. She is my GP and she asked me to come in because my fever is still high and clearly I have not gotten over The Bug, whatever it may be. She took a look and declared that in addition to whatever else, I have a “nasty” ear infection. She made an appointment for me for next Monday to get a CT scan of my sinuses. Oh joy! More hospital time. I received an Rx for another, stronger, longer-lasting antibiotic and some prednisone for the next ten days. I should feel better soon.

The other appointment was for lab only. My rheumatologist, Dr Lisa J., is concerned about my liver. She feels a prescription she gave me, Methotrexate, may have caused side effects in the liver. I am now off that drug but the liver remains upset. I imagine it will calm down here shortly. Good news- they found my vein on the first try! That’s always a banner day for me.

I drove south and eventually found the social security office. I took a number and waited close to an hour for help but finally received a summons to a window where a very kindly lady got my new information and placed the order for a social security card under my entire and properly hyphenated name. It is a long moniker but I like it!

I stopped at the drug store on the way home to collect my new prescriptions are made it just as Jim had finished filling the tub for our whirlpool bath. In and out of that, I dressed again to find that Sandie had already arrived for the Planet Light Worker channeling session. Steve followed shortly and we talked briefly before I went aside to do my tuning.

We had a good session. The question was concerning the various cycles or generations of people who are responding to the information concerning the end of the age, the dimensional shift and so forth. These “buzz words” have been around as long as I can remember. Certainly when I began studying seriously in the later ‘60s, these concepts were already being batted about freely. I will be interested to read the session. I do not get much of the sense of what is said in the session while I am channeling it as I am so focused on translating the concepts I get into language.

The remainder of the evening, until about 10:30, was spent having a counseling session with Steve F. It felt like a good session. I promised him I would write up my thoughts for him and he dropped me off. Jim and I watched the rest of their TV show and we all said good night at 11 PM.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

I had intended to spend the bulk of this day working on wrangling my e-mail, which is chaotic and huge, to find the best way for Gary to take most of it over. So much for planning! I was overcome with Day-Off-Itis!

After Morning Offering Jim went to the kitchen and began cooking. It is his usual Saturday Morning Gig, nothing unusual there. However it was his first cooking session with the iPod which was his Christmas present from Gary and Romi. It was such fun to hear him occasionally bursting into song out of nowhere. What a nifty little gadget!

I got great news from Bruce on Sugar Shack. One corner of that august, ancient and dilapidated building had started to sink from the relentless rains lately. Bruce found a dry couple of days and took his time propping the Shack up and then digging down under that corner, putting in new rocks to form a more solid footing for the building there and then releasing the props. He said that the buckle in the ceiling had smoothed out and all the doors were now opening and closing well. The roof is even dry, even with all the rain, except for a couple of leaks he cannot trace which affect the porch only. Little mysteries! But still, this is terrific news to hear.

I worked with Ian to create a new start to the home page text on llresearch.org. It includes, first, the news on the Midwinter Gathering on the Book IV archetypes, second, the beginning of an info block on the gathering next summer and then bits and pieces of text on things like the Camelot Journal. It is up already and looks just fine.

I wrote Tobey about two new participants who have signed up for the Midwinter Gathering. When we wrote the blurb, we tried to make it clear that this was an intensive session, but these two new enlisters thought it sounded exciting and fun. I found myself thinking, did we write that blurb properly? It was supposed to sound hard! Of course, when you get people together whose common ground is TLOO, you always have old home week, the feeling of reunion and renewal and all the rich gifts that go with birds of a feather flocking together.

I had just gotten the Camelot Journal entry written for yesterday when Sandie showed up. We had a counseling session over lunch and then she suggested that we both play hooky from our responsibilities and go consignment shopping. I took her up on that with great delight! I spent the Christmas money that Mom McCarty gave me and had such a good time. I majored in black and gray purchases, not that I feel drab but that I tend to build outfits out of black and navy, adding color to that basic background. I am generally colorful in what I wear! But I love basic black pieces as they are so very easy to work with. Naturally that shopping took a while, and I got back home just as Jim was running bath water.

The rest of the evening was sheer leisure. Gary was now in the kitchen cooking his part of the week’s feast, and he also was listening to his iPod, so we had the accompaniment of his occasional outbursts of song while we enjoyed a Star Trek Enterprise show we’d previously missed and then a U of L basketball game. They were playing the U of Connecticut, a better team, but even without their star player the U of L players made a good run of it and we all enjoyed the game, offering the peace/Gaia meditation during a long time out. I sang the Jewish song, “Shalom” as our prayer.

The game took the evening and we bade each other good night after its ending.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Ah, the Sabbath! I do love Sundays. I awoke early enough to write the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday and do some e-mail before snuggling with Mick at 8 AM. I wrote Don N at Bloginservice to talk about the transcript of the Don and Wynn Show interview with me, sent a thank-you note to Chris H, who had made me a gorgeous wreath for our door this Christmas, wrote Tobey about the Midwinter Gathering and Ian about his very good changes on the home page at llresearch and caught up with Dianne S.

The service at St. Luke’s was most comforting. I brought Jim back his favorite fast food from Taco Bell after church and finished some leftovers for my own lunch. We stretched and had our bath and then watched some football and conversed until it was time for the meeting.

It was a silent meditation meeting today, my own favorite kind. Tom F., Judy C., Romi, Jim and I joined to form a circle of seeking. It was a lovely meditation. I always do so much better at staying in the silence when I am part of a group meditation. We were treated to “love tea” and beautifully arranged cookies by Romi and Judy afterwards and had a fine conversation that eventually drifted into supper together and then the Gaia Meditation. We then turned on the TV and watched Seattle and Pittsburgh win the chance to go to the Super Bowl. I am sorry in a way to see this short football season end, as Jim enjoys it so much. He shall have to content himself with basketball for the next couple of months!

I worked at the follow-up report on the counseling sessions with Steve and Sandie off and on all day during the football games. I completed it just before bedtime but I was unable to send it. Hopefully by tomorrow our latest computer problem will have solved itself.

When the games were over, we said goodnight and toddled up to bed.

Monday, January 23, 2006

It was a clear, cold, sunny day, very refreshing to feel as I got the morning paper. After our snuggle, puzzle and newspaper read and the Morning Offering, Jim took off to work for Jim’s Lawn Service and I worked to clear my desk. I corrected the recipe data base using the recipe notes Jim and Gary had made these last two weeks. I wrote our lawyer, Jeff P., to let him know we would be at the Trimble County Fiscal Court meeting on February 6 to find out how the county decides to value our access road—is it a county road or private? We need to know in order to finalize our three-acre plot at Avalon’s edge. We cannot get a deed for it until this issue is settled. Oh yes! We will be there with bells on.

I finally was able to send the report of the two counseling sessions which Steve had requested to him and to Sandie. Our equipment seems to be working today!

I filed and dealt with a number of small desk-clearing details, sweeping contact information into the proper folders, making follow-through calls to change appointments and filing tax and banking information. I greatly look forward to turning this over to Gary! But meanwhile, the house needs to run smoothly. I took all the information from the Thane-Koven meeting and typed it into my digital records, then filed the hard copies. I let my choir mistress, Lisa, know that I would be absent on February 12 because of the Midwinter Gathering and on February 18 because of the trip to Nebraska to visit Mom once more before the mowing season starts. I finalized Pam B’s question for her session.

We had a most relaxed lunch together, Jim fixing his signature oatmeal with fruit. It is so good! We stretched and then I tuned for the channeling session. Pam called in right on time and I think we had a good session, with Jim’s help as third person for the circle. It was a long session and very moving in its own way. I think when I edit it I will find some really interesting material there about what all of us are doing here on planet earth.

I took a break for a few minutes after the session to get my bearings, as it had been a somewhat tiring session for me. Back at the desk, I read through a good bit of material Jean-Claude had given me at that meeting. Some of it was information on how to create an article and send it out to e-mags, in terms of format, material that comes before and after the article and other advice. I took all the information which I understood down for my own digital records and then wrote Jean-Claude about the parts which I did not comprehend. I must learn more about what he calls “tagging.” That made no sense to me yet.

I also read through the material from the UPI where Jean-Claude has been invited to be a contributor on their Spiritual Resources Panel. He offered to share that by-line with me but has so far not followed through with any material. I think I shall endeavor to write a couple of these very short, 400-word articles in rough draft and let him see if he likes my style. That’s on the short list to do, after I manage to corral my e-mail! I am NOT there yet.

I wrote a lawyer whom Bill H had suggested would be helpful in evaluating our contracts with Peter Schiffer and his publishing companies, Louise N, asking her for her help. I also wrote Rho M, web master for Scott M, as Bill had asked that we contact him about aspects of this Law of One 101 book. He has a good contact with Japanese publishers and Bill would like us to get that book published in Japanese as soon as I finish it.

Then I wrote a report to Bill H. on all that I have done so far and all that Jim has attempted as well. He has tried every known means to reach Peter Schiffer, but Peter is not receiving his calls. Peter has been unhappy with us for a number of years.

I was happy with what has been done so far to shift my work and open up creative time. It may seem slow but actually much has been accomplished. We are getting there.

This took me to the end of my office time. Jim was kind enough to escort me to Baptist East Hospital, where I had a late appointment. I was given a CT scan of my sinuses and then we came home and sank gratefully into a warm bath and let the concerns of the day flow away in the healing waters. Gary had been working on putting my upstairs desk together, and he joined us for a gentle evening of TV, supper, conversation and the Gaia Meditation. We said good night fairly early.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

After Morning Offering I took off for the License Bureau and was able to obtain a new license with my entire name on it. I applied for new insurance cards back at home, armed with my new license, which took a bit of doing, writing a fax with a reference number and several other numbers retrieved from a telephone conversation. No one takes paper more seriously than our government and everyone connected with those governmental numbers! Hopefully, record-keeping will be easier now because everyone involved in my health care will have the same name for me. It has been a zoo lately, with some records under Rueckert and some under McCarty.

I had awakened early enough to get the Camelot Journal entry done before coming downstairs. After coming back from the government center I wrote two new transcribers, telling them that I will sit down with L/L Research’s transcription needs next week and offer them a job to do—currently I am focused on other tasks—and writing Pam B., who wants to follow up her channeling session with counseling. I am glad to work with her but suggested that we both wait for about a week, to give us both time to become more aware of what the session actually held. During that time she will get the tape of the session and can re-listen to it. Gary will transcribe the session later this week and I will edit that. Then I can e-mail her the transcript and we can both read the session, a whole different way to grasp and understand material, more linear and open to analysis than listening. We both will be far more ready to move forward with a good conversation after this process. She is most eager, and often it is a good idea to move through that energy before entering counseling follow-up. Feelings of urgency mostly muddy the waters rather than improve clarity.

I wrote Jeff P. to ask whether he wished to ride up to Bedford with us for the Trimble County hearing on our access road in early February, cleared the desk of various notes and reminders, responded to telephone calls, filled my Contacts with new information and broke for a lunch with Mick. That’s always a treat! We had a good stretch together and then he was off to work for a client and I went back to the computer, editing the channeling from our last public meeting on January 15, sending it to Ian in its “track changes” mode and then cleaning it up to make a rough draft and sending it out to those who were at that meeting.

The rest of the afternoon was spent analyzing e-mail. I got about halfway through my Inbox. On the way through it I responded to some people: Bruce, on farm matters; Vara on feelings and musings, responding to four e-mails of hers; Eccles on the outline for the LOO 101 project and Tobey and Jeremy on changes to B4. The forums are developing there now and Tobey is considering aiding Jeremy with moderating those boards. And I sent newbie e-mails to Terry H, Judy C and Lorna Y to answer.

So far I find that most e-mail waiting in my Inbox on Maggie is L/L-Research-oriented and that means there is a good hope that I can develop a protocol for those types of mail so Gary can answer them. There is some mail that is personal and only I can respond, and then there is some mail that is about projects where I also must be the one to respond. So it seems to me that the way to wrangle the e-mail is to remove from the Inbox on Maggie all e-mail which only I can answer, leaving the remainder of the mail in Maggie’s Inbox for Gary to work.

Jim and I had a refreshing bath and whirlpool and watched Democracy Now, then CSI on TV. I began editing Kathy G’s session from January 16, which Gary had miraculously already gotten transcribed. Romi came over for the Gaia Meditation. Afterwards he and I had a great conversation about how to rig the e-mail so that I could separate out my personal mail from the general mail. Romi came up with the idea of creating an account on llresearch’s mail which he could then direct to come in to Traveller’s Inbox. I can then forward my personal mail from Maggie’s Inbox to Traveller’s. That works for me! I wrote Ian to request that he create such an account for me.

We watched CSI for two more episodes, drenching ourselves in crime solving and derring-do, and then hugged Romi good-bye and headed upstairs at 11 PM, content with the work and joy of the day and ready to seek our beds.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I awoke early and settled in for some work as the night sky gave way to the dawning day. I wrote the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday, re-sent a note to Pam B. which had been rejected the first time around and which she really needed to receive, and edited the session which Kathy G. had received on January 16. Sending that off to Ian, I came downstairs for snuggling with Jim, then the paper and our Morning Offering.

After calling the hospital to arrange for Jim to pick up the test results from my MRA—I have an appointment with Dr. Hodes today and he will need that CD—I tackled the mission of the day, which was to analyze my e-mail and figure a way to organize it for Gary. It turns out his first day to work for me will be next Monday. This gives me a bit of time to develop protocols for each type of e-mail. In the process of going through the mail I found many items to delete! That felt good! I also responded to mail from:

• Calvin, our neighbor. She is concerned about our mutual outdoor stray kitty, whom she calls Talkie and we call Shadow.
• Linda Davis on tax needs.
• Jeremy and Gary on shifting work for Jeremy from me to Gary. Jeremy and I have ongoing conversations about the B4 web site which in part I hope for Gary to begin to handle.
• Mel S, who wished to see our tax receipt form. She is starting up a non-profit and does not know how they should look. I found our form needed updating so did that as well.
• 8 newbies, whose letters I forwarded to Terry, Lorna and Judy.
• Gino on transcribing matters.
• Ian to catch up on several matters and to send him older channelings from the Planet Light Worker e-zine which are no longer current and therefore can be archived on our site. We do not put these up on site until the magazine has been out for a month.
• Mr. Stevens on an order question.
• Kathy, sending her the rough draft of her session.

Jim came home for lunch and we had a pleasant time, ending with a stretching routine. I went back to work, answering several letters from Wynn on his Everyman project. He has the idea of writing a book based on his questions to the Q’uo group. I am encouraging him to use material the Q’uo has already channeled. Finishing that bunch of e-letters, I turned to mail from Terry H. Terry is translating TLOO into Chinese and I was answering questions on sessions 72, 73 and 74. Terry has come a long way on this project and is in the midst of Book III! He and a bookseller there in Taiwan have printed the first two volumes. They are very slender compared to the English versions. It is most satisfying to see the material gradually get out there due to the loving efforts of people like Terry to translate the work. We have heard of Turkish and Polish versions as well. Melissa has expressed her plan to translate the books into French and Pupak has expressed her intention of translating them into Farsi. These are tremendous blessings!

Dottie, the book-keeper, was here today, her second week to be working for us. She and Vara met for a good two hours this morning, with Vara walking her through the many oddities of our QuickBooks, and then Dottie carried on with doing books. She did not finish, however, so she will come back Friday and get all the way through the books.

I left in mid-afternoon for my appointment with Dr. Hodes, a specialist who follows a small aneurism I have on the right side of my head. It turned out to be a somewhat ill-fated appointment. The good news is that the aneurism continues to be small and harmless. The bad news was that I slipped in my sock feet getting off the exam table and caught the corner of the steel stepstool intended to help me get down on the very center of my sacrum. It was a flat, hard fall, the stepstool punching through my jeans and panties and piercing the skin over the sacrum and coccyx. I also jammed my right hand, trying to break my fall. Another brilliant move!

Dr. Hodes patched me up, bandaging the wound on my wee butt and sending me next door to Baptist East Hospital to get said butt and hand X-rayed. I managed to get through that by the hardest as it was almost impossible to lie prone. There was a good deal of intense pain from the trauma which lying flat made to skyrocket. It really was an ordeal. I will be interested to hear what the X-rays show. Sad to tell, they were not set up for actually telling the patient that news. I must wait for the hospital to tell Dr. Hodes.

I felt shocky and weak, so decided to get myself home and bypass the stop at the drug store. I welcomed Jim’s assistance on getting the prescription for pain medicine filled. It was wonderful to see Camelot! I gratefully settled into my Mama chair and worked on e-mail again:

• Marcia about our upcoming radio interview. Its date may need to be changed because of the radio station being off air that day.
• Jeff on the drive to Trimble on February 6.
• Wynn again on the Everyman project.
• Jeremy on B4 matters.
• Eccles to thank him for much thoughtful work on the LOO 101 outline. I cannot use his work as of yet, since I have definite ideas about how the project should unfold, but that does not mean his efforts are unappreciated!
• Ian, just catching up with this knight in shining armor who has developed our archive site for the last 15 years and made it a wonder and a joy.

Jim and I took a long bath, filling the tub fuller than usual so I could float, which was THE most comfortable position possible for a lady with a sore derriere. Oh, that felt good! We dedicated the rest of the evening to rest and junk TV and a very early bedtime.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

What a day! It was a tough one throughout. I had taken pain medication through a wakeful night and it ended up making me sick to my stomach, just what I needed on top of an incredibly painful coccyx and a mashed thumb on my right hand. Some of the day was spent on dealing with that sickness. It takes time to lose breakfast and lunch, although, and here’s a handy tip for all those out there who may be dealing with illness, it is still better to eat something and lose it later than to stop eating. That is a true survival tip. The body gets a lot out of the liquid, especially, that you take in, no matter what occurs down the pipes. And the stomach and all the organs get that “business as usual/wellness” signal which is so important subconsciously.

Then there was tons of time lost because I was still fully feeling the effects of the pain medication. It took all day to wear off and made me very slow. Think snail-like! Especially in the morning when I began, it was pitiful, funny but sad! I normally do the Camelot Journal entry in about 15 minutes. It took me an hour and a half today. My right thumb was shaking all morning but in the afternoon it finally accepted that I thought it was OK, and it got steady. I think the thumb will be fine but I am concerned that this little butt may be broken.

I ordered a laptop stand which Romi sent me e-mail regarding for the upstairs office. It lifts and tilts the laptop so that you are looking the monitor in the eye, which is better ergonomically. I have a couple of keyboards to try with it and my external mouse is already in use, so the whole outfit is ready to set up as soon as Gary gets the hutch finished for my desk. I let Romi know it was ordered, then followed through with Vara’s response to yesterday’s e-mail and sent Calvin an update. She is a very loving neighbor! Much more so since I joined St. Luke’s. She has often served as vestryman there and sings in the choir too, so I am now one of her chicks, even if she is younger than I.

There was a discreet pause in the early afternoon while my plumbing went bit nuts. We’ll draw a cover over that! After that interlude I napped for a bit and awoke feeling better. I dealt with an order inquiry and sent Steve and Sandie rough edits of their PLW channeling. I thought it was a good session, the questions being about cycles of people coming across this 2012 information.

I wrote Jeremy answering several e-mails on various aspects of B4. He is most kind to accept Gary’s work in my stead as Gary gets going as my admin. I spent quite some time developing an e-mail responding to three new transcribers. It was sheer pleasure to offer these kind folks a look at our Camelot Needs List on the home page of www.llresearch.org, knowing that one or another of our projects is about to get taken up and manifested. For an archive librarian like myself, this is pure gold.

Then I started in to finalize the results of all the study and analysis I’d done of the work in the office in preparation for Gary’s taking over as admin. I generated four worksheets for him to use when working e-mail. One is an analysis of the e-mail in the L/L Research Inbox. One is a worksheet on how to get into QuickBooks when a seeker has an order question. One has to do with Contact information gathering and the last covers transcriber e-mails. Then I got together all my notes for our first planning session on Monday.

I had just finished that when I got a call from Dr. Hodes. It turns out that the X-ray indeed suggests the coccyx may be broken. He is making me an appointment to get a CAT scan and be sure this next Monday. I believe there is nothing that can be done for this fracture, if indeed I have it, except survive it—no casts or other ways to speed or help healing.

I chatted with Vara, following up her e-mail on the transition she is making and wrote Linda D. back about tax preparation—she says to start the tax prep after February 1. That’s not far off. Sigh! My very favorite. Of course doing tax prep is everyone’s favorite!

Bath time was so welcome. Jim poured me another floater tub and I relaxed and enjoyed. Romi was waiting for us when we emerged and we had a lovely evening together. Romi had brought over his little laptop stand so I could see how it fits the laptop. He looked around and said the office seemed to be developing well! It’s a bit chaotic yet with hutch pieces everywhere on the floor.

Romi and I chatted and watched CSI on TV while Jim did all manner of chores, sorting my pills for next week, filling orders, cleaning and getting recipes ready for tomorrow. He had been working all day and had to use the evening time just to keep up here at home. I usually work along with him when he has an evening work period but I just could not do it tonight. It was a time when I was grateful for light entertainment, distraction and the good company of Romi and Gary to take my mind off the situation at hand or rather in my seat!

Romi said a sweet prayer at the Gaia Meditation tonight. Jim and I said good-night to Romi and Gary at 10 PM and went upstairs for a cuddle and our eventual bedtime around 11.

Friday, January 27, 2006

I was moving very slowly still today but my mind was back to some degree of clarity as I stopped taking the pain medication. Dottie came back to pursue the goal of finishing the books. She spent the day but still had not finished when she was ready to quit so we arranged for her to return Monday. I hope she will gain in speed as she goes. I imagine Gary will take a while to get speedy as admin, as well. It takes time to settle in to new tasks. It may take me a while to get used to my new office—who knows!

That is coming right along now. Gary put the hutch together today so we have the office furniture basically together. I still need to add filing cabinets and put Papa’s archive media drawers in under the front windows. It will be good to get them out of my bedroom closet and the tops of bedroom shelving where no one can get at them.

I went over a few things with Dottie and cleared my desk of mail, filing bills, answering telephone calls and the like, and then came back to my Mama chair, thankfully settling into the softest seat in the house. I got a call from Dr. Hodes’ office setting up a CAT scan for my busted bum. You should see it. There’s a swelling about the size of an orange right above where I fell. It looks strange and feels woeful! And there is really no other way to sit except using those parts. I’ve tried!

I worked with some editing questions from Ian and got the Camelot Journal entry for yesterday written. Then I went back to Terry’s letters and got all of them answered except three. Jim and I had the luxury of eating together. I passed up the stretching! Jim went off again to work—he has been working almost full-time for Jim’s Lawn Service this week in spite of there being no lawns to cut! This afternoon he is off to cut down a dogwood tree that has grown so large it obscures the lady’s view of her house.

I went upstairs after lunch and got all the bags of office supplies I had purchased for the upstairs office unloaded. Jim will open all the packages for me as I am still dealing with a very sore right hand which is in no mood to wrench and tear at modern plastic. Now everything he has to open is out there.

Then I settled back in to working on Gary’s notes for the planning session. Since I have the CAT scan on Monday morning, leaving at 10:30, unless Gary decides to get up very early for him, he will not have me to talk with during his first morning as admin. So my goal was to make these notes very complete for him, in order th