The other day I received a request from a fan of The Law of One. Robert is getting married this weekend. He and his fiancée have looked in vain for the right prayer to bless their marriage, he said, including a search through the material we had on our site, www.llresearch.org. He still was not satisfied. Robert wondered whether I might be able to cobble together such a prayer myself. I took on the task gladly.
As I settled down to write Robert’s wedding prayer, my mind wandered back to my own wedding day, nineteen years ago. I came to that moment utterly exhausted from wedding preparations, dizzy with the intensity of the event and all the practical needs of that day. With my bridesmaids around me, I had not a thought to spare for the sacredness of the occasion until my Dad, clearing his throat a bit suspiciously, came to take my arm.
My feet barely touched the aisle carpet as I walked up the long nave of my parish church. A door opened inside me, somewhere in the vicinity of my heart. Walking through that inner doorway, I entered a spacious, calm chancel of consciousness within myself, as I came to a stop at the stairs of the outer chancel for the rite of marriage.
O infinite Creator, that sacred mystery which has created all that there is, we offer you thanks and praise, that you have given us this abundant life and brought us to each other’s grace this day. We gather here in a circle of celebration and seeking to celebrate this marriage. We seek to express our worship, thankfulness and praise by sending to you all of the love/light and light/love which is ours to share on this happy occasion.
I knew at that moment, as I had not before, the profundity of the promise I was to make. And I knew that the Creator was a part of this ceremony. Paradoxically, this led me to a state of split mind. There was that calm knowingness that all was well and that this decision and promise were perfect.
There was also a panicked, rebellious, dark part of me that wanted to bolt. I was to deal with the shadow side for several years after my wedding day. It was probably a full decade before that dark part of my inner being became fully satisfied with my decision and able to glory in my promise.
This shadowed, panicky state had nothing to do with whether I loved my husband. It had to do with being revealed to him, and to myself, over the period of a lifetime, with no exit if I lost my taste for the work. All of us are such mysterious beings, layered like onions, with so many layers of self, once we start going beneath the smooth, glib outer surface, all containing their own surprises; all bringing us to points of transformation. Did I truly wish to bear the weight of self-knowledge?
The Confederation opinion on marriage is that it is an opportunity to grow in our own personal hall of mirrors. The Q’uo group, channeled through me on May 16th, 2002, put it this way:
“Our model or paradigm concerning how to be a servant of the light within a personal relationship such as a marriage is a simple assumption, but a sweeping one, and that is that all is one, that that entity which is a mate is the projection of the self into the face of an other-self; both entities being the Creator.”
“The efficiency of this method of mirroring and projecting images upon the screens of each other’s field of energy is precisely the purpose for which many entities choose to make commitments and form relationships. The catalyst, indeed, is the prize, not the problem, of the relationship.”
To be a servant of the light within a marriage is to honor the ordeal of marriage, as Joseph Campbell called it. Think of what a stunning achievement it is truly to get to know someone - yourself or someone else. Our comfort zones are well defended! Our trust is not easily given. Our readiness to offer harsh honesty instead of easy nothings for conversation is slight. And yet if we can work with another person without defending ourselves, with trust and with shining truth on our lips, we will find ourselves in a spiritual hothouse that produces amazing rates of growth in our spirits, if we are but willing to do the work of the gardening.
We ask for your blessing upon this couple. Send your angels to guard them and your spirit to guide them. And help them always and everywhere to remember You. Give them the grace and strength to form bonds that temper with time and that wrap both in encouragement and support. Help them to find ways to complement each other. Give them the courage to be each others’ compassionate teachers and the humility to be each others’ willing students, that together, they may knit so strong an armor of light that no negative influence may break the golden mail of their love and trust. Grant them an artist’s eye with each other, that the ever-revealing process of age may bring only more appreciation of each other’s beauty.
In nineteen years, my husband and I have come through many passages with each other. Gradually, we have learned how to communicate openly and still be safe. We have learned trust, the hard way; the right way, pulling together through crises and standing for each other when times are tough. It has been hard work, weeding and burning the storm debris, tending most lovingly the garden of marriage.
The hardest of the work is to remember that my husband and I are one. It is not a matter of him against me. It is both of us tag-teaming our way to a solution, time and again. In those years I have been a heroine to my husband many times, and my husband, a hero to me. Such is the way of a successfully met ordeal. We rejoice together in that ordeal. It has given us a life of surpassing beauty, and a companionship that is indescribably rich.
Help us all, O infinite One, to love and serve You with an open and loving heart and our highest and best wisdom. Please accept, in this moment of silence, our thankfulness and praise on this special day.
I open my arms and embrace your spirit. Whatever wedding memories you may have, I hope they are wonderful and make you smile! May you come to your mate ready to look in the mirror, to see, to learn and to grow. And may you win through in your relationships to the joy of being heart to heart.