As a high school and college student I did not work outside the home. I was chief cook and baby sitter for my two younger brothers in a household where both parents were at work all day and performing at night. I had plenty to do, but I received no salary except an allowance of some $5 a week, out of which my school lunches came. I did not have any money to save or bank!

At the age of 21 I married. I had a job which paid a dollar an hour, working in the university library. I opened a checking account and set up bookkeeping, recording my very modest income deposits and my equally modest expenditures for rent and food. In those days one could rent a nice room for $50.00 a month, and I cooked a meal a day for some fraternity boys who didn't like their frat's food — for enough money to buy groceries for us all. My financial life was simple.

The 60s, 70s and 80s went by with no real change in my bookkeeping routine. I deposited the money I earned and wrote checks to pay my bills. When the bank statement came in the mail, I sat down and reconciled the statement with my ledger, always to the penny. Sometimes I had to spend a half hour or so chasing some missing pennies, but that was the extent of the hassle of having and using legal tender.

My research partners and I had started a non-profit charity in 1970, and then transformed it from a simple partnership to a legal entity in 1980. In the 90s, as our L/L Research projects grew in number and scope, larger amounts of money began to come in as donations to L/L Research — and our expenses were higher. Our tax accountant encouraged us to go to a computerized method of keeping the books. We purchased Intuit's QuickBooks Pro, a leading accounting software for business use. On it, we recorded all the information which had been kept in our paper ledgers.

In 2003, L/L Research entered a phase of building a community here. At first we envisioned the community as being here, where my husband and I live. We spent a good deal of money creating bedrooms for three volunteers in our basement so all of those in our little band could have their own rooms.

As soon as the house project was finished, the band of volunteers wanted to move up to our country farm and create a community there. We said okay, and then had massive bills to pay as they built a utility shed, added solar panels for a source of wilderness electricity and structurally improved the ancient shack that was on the farm. With all the money going out, I as a bookkeeper began to be overwhelmed. A series of helpful volunteers took over the books.

When someone who has not made the charges being recorded handles the charge slips, he does not know which legal entity actually purchased the goods or services. We now had three entities - the household, L/L Research and my husband's business, Jim's Lawn Service. Human errors on the part of a succession of bookkeepers have often, since 2003, utterly confounded us all. Such mysteries have arisen that we find it necessary from time to time to take our bundle of confusion and paperwork to the tax accountant and lay our woes at his desk. For a hefty price, the accountant always solves the mystery and restores the books to order. It feels like a monumental waste of my time and his time.

At such points I wonder what happened to keeping a simple checkbook and reconciling it monthly! Why in this world do we need the seemingly endless complications of QuickBooks?

I put it down to two reasons. Firstly, I believe that excessive paperwork is the darling of the negative polarity here on planet Earth. What is negative polarity? A good example of polarity is the magnet. An iron magnet is polarized. It has a north or positive pole and a south or negative pole. This enables the magnet to do work, as opposed to a non-magnetized lump of iron ore.

We as human beings are also polarized. Our north or positive pole is that within us which intends to be of service to others. Our south or negative pole is that within us which intends to be of service to ourselves.

The extreme of the positive polarity is a crucified savior such as Jesus the Christ, Zoroaster or any of more than a dozen other such figures from the Middle Eastern religions and mythical systems of the historical time of Jesus. Such a figure of positive polarity is compassionate, kind and loving to the extent of giving his life in order to help others live more abundantly.

A more everyday, but equally polarized action of service to others is the woman who saves her child from a burning building while losing her life in the process, or the man I watched, years ago, on television, when an airplane had run into a bridge into Washington DC. Cars full of people had been pitched into the icy Potomac by the collision of the big airplane with the bridge.

Helicopters were hovering, some so that they could rescue swimmers and some so that their cameras could catch the live action, under the general priority of "if it bleeds, it leads."

And so I watched a gentleman jump into the river from the shore and swim to the disaster area, He placed first one flailing swimmer, then another, then yet another, into the harness for being winched up into the rescue 'copters. He kept waving off those who wanted him to stop saving others and save himself. And so he saved one last man and then sank below the surface to die a hero's death.

Service-to-self polarity's extreme is a dictator or emperor such as Nero or Hitler. They assume that what they wish to do is the exact right thing. They then move people, money and power around to achieve their goals without questioning at all whether their cause is a just one.

They rule by fear.

One may gaze at the world scene today and discern, below the level of rhetoric and propaganda, those in power whose mind is bent on empire and service to self. They do not at all mind if they must carpet-bomb civilians with cluster bombs or move into sovereign nations to rearrange their governance systems by force. There are no ethics involved in service to self except the one ethic: I will serve myself and use all of those people and assets around me to do so.

The answer to "why do such horrible things" is "because I can". Naturally, there is a rationale in place that explains why this killing and torture is for the good of (fill in the blank).

Perhaps you are familiar with the parental assertion that something you really do not want to do is "for your own good". Anyone traveling by airplane these days is familiar with the incredible hassle of boarding an airplane. I may not be a terrorist, but in these days of fear and control, I have been mightily scanned and have lost my tiny pocket knife, a sentimental gift to me, as well as a little lighter, my nail scissors, a lipstick and a half-full bottle of drinking water.

The same energy of blatant and substantial fear is behind the QuickBooks phenomenon. When we switched to QuickBooks here, the accountant's reason for the expensive software and the added trouble was that only by achieving this massive structure of numbers and records could they guarantee to keep our non-profit standing with the IRS safe. They feared that they could not defend us in an IRS audit if they did not have this behemoth database behind them.

Mind you, we are honest as the day is long. There is no chicanery to hide. We do not run millions of dollars through our coffers. We are middle-class people. My husband mows lawns for a living and I am a disabled housewife who works, as she can, for L/L Research as a channel and for UPI as a columnist, as well as pursuing writing projects on my own. We are small fry, as far as generating a lot of money. And yet we must fulfill the same requirements in terms of recordkeeping as the largest corporations, for fear of somehow losing our non-profit status.

The Q’uo group said, in a channeling session recorded on April 9, 1992, that, "You do not have to get rid of fear. You only have to recognize that it is there. The fear does not interfere with your being a clear channel, for example, but your relationship with fear interferes with it. If you wish to serve others in any way — serving food in a soup kitchen, working in a homeless shelter, counselling others or whatever ways you may choose to serve — you need not eradicate fear but recognize it and find mercy for this human who sometimes feels fear and, in that way, change your relationship to fear."

I do not need to get rid of QuickBooks. I just need to remove from my mind that fear which is involved in the using of that kind of software.

The other reason I consider a source of this QuickBooks phenomenon is the Wanderer influx. According to my channeling sources, many human beings from what we would consider the heaven worlds, or places advanced far beyond us, have chosen to take up incarnations upon our Earth as Wanderers.

They have come for two reasons: to help shift consciousness on Earth to more of a love and light-filled environment and to work on the balance in their own natures of love and wisdom. In their system, our Earth world is third density, or the Density of Choice. The next density is fourth density or the Density of Love. After that is fifth density, or the Density of Wisdom. And after that is sixth density, the Density of Unity.

Most Wanderers, according to the Confederation sources I channel, are either fifth-density or sixth-density in origin. The Q’uo group says, in a channeling session recorded on April 14, 2006, "Those who have experienced a far more comprehensive course of study in wisdom than in compassion move into third density not only to be of service to the planet and to its people but also to tackle a kind of strenuous metaphysical boot camp, if you will, in which your preincarnative desire is that you shall effect, within the athanor [fiery furnace] of incarnation, a more equitable and just integration of the energies of love and the energies of light or wisdom."

The QuickBooks phenomenon is, I feel, the product of fifth-density and sixth-density Wanderers who are overbalanced towards wisdom. They came here to open their hearts and come into balance as souls. But then they saw the woefully undefended condition of our financial books and in their wisdom, they saw a more secure way to keep records. I wonder whether, when these Wanderers' balance has been achieved and their hearts speak as eloquently as their minds, if all bookkeeping software will become obsolete and gently disappear into the Recycling Bin!!

I open my arms and embrace your spirit. Let us all seek the wisdom of the heart, which keeps no accounts. May our wisdom be touched with love and our love touched with wisdom in all of our decisions and our moments this day.