Group question: The question this afternoon has to deal with the relationship both between males and females and the male and female portion of our brain/mind complex. We would like to know what you could tell us about this dynamic relationship, wherein the subconscious mind—the female portion—seems to be the potentiator, the one which sets into action the male portion of the mind, and in our human relationships, the male and female come together in a relationship and seem to go through the use of catalyst whereby the female undertakes the task, shall we say, of civilizing or training the male so that there is the opportunity for the male to learn the harmonious relationship and communication and sensitivity to emotions that is provided by the female, and the female has the opportunity to learn the abilities of the male to physically accomplish tasks, to go out into the world and, shall we say, “bring home the bacon.”

We are wondering how this process really works at its heart, how it helps each of us, both male and female, to become whole individuals, to add that other portion of ourselves that is exemplified either by the High Priestess, the subconscious, or the Magician, the conscious, for the male and for the female. And we would like for you to give us whatever information you feel is helpful, because most of us are engaged in relationships that provide us with a great deal of catalyst and a great deal of opportunity to learn compassion and to learn communication. These are the qualities that seem to bring us together and to keep us together in relationships. What can you tell us about them, and the male and female relationship in general?

(Carla channeling)

We greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Greetings and many blessings to this group. We are privileged to be with you and to have been called to your gracious selves. We see the determination of those who have much catalyst and much stirring and busyness, to come together as those who seek the truth. And we are grateful that you so choose to lead your incarnation that it becomes possible for us to be of service to you. Blessed are those who remember the true center of being and who continue to seek it out in the hustle and bustle of busy times. This persistence and dedication will serve you well, not only in this illusion but in all illusions to come.

This session of working is to be devoted to consideration of the nature of the so-called battle of the sexes. We would begin by considering the actions of the mind as opposed to the actions of the body complex, seen archetypically. Whereas in the archetypes of the body the potentiator is wisdom, which produces careful choices of action and inaction, within the mind complex it is the feminine principle which regulates, or potentiates action or the manner of inaction. The entity which finds itself to be male shall usually find itself to have a power within the body complex which cannot be explained simply by the size of the physical vehicle compared to the size of the feminine physical vehicle. There is a quality of the essence of power within that bodily strength which the female, biologically speaking, usually does not experience in the same way.

There is an intuition or sixth sense, if you will, which has a quality of power or of truth which the entity born biologically female usually experiences, not simply at a higher level than the male but often in a different quality of energy. The choice-maker for the physical complex can be seen to embody wisdom, whereas the power of the potentiator of the mind has as its power a kind of depth of the wisdom of the heart, or compassion. And it is this compassion, in its many subtleties, to which the mind reaches for a depth of understanding of what the path of the seeker for truth might find helpful.

There is a large portion of an incarnational experience wherein one is not living the archetype, at least not consciously. Yet these same dynamics continue to rest like the pillars holding up the tent of the illusion for both male and female entities. The converse and partnership between male and female is the way in which it is most efficient to discover, experience and learn from catalyst within third density. It is not the only way. However, when the partnership between male and female is not at the head of the organized method for dealing with the relationship central to an experience, the experience will seem quite skewed. The entity, however, who has had a primary relationship which partakes strongly of this male/female partnership may rely upon the lessons of a former partnership and thusly move very nearly as effectually through catalyst, using it wisely, if the partnerships already experienced are continually given the respect which suggest to the deep mind that the lessons learned have been accepted.

Now, let us move closer and gaze at the questions of using the dynamic balance betwixt male and female energies. One way in which it is possible to use the partnership of male and female is that both male and female remain deeply defended, shall we say, in the relationship against contamination from the dynamic other, be it male or female. In this type of dynamic there is very surely a true battle betwixt the sexes, for if the male is not interested in the strengths of the female mind and sees only the inconvenience of dealing with it, it will become more and more distant from the female energy, and less and less able to experience female energy in a positive, or fertile, way. Similarly, the more the female moves further into the intuition, and, shall we say, love for love or romance which marks the female energy, the less able the female will be to understand or experience the strengths of the archetypical male.

Thusly, the battle is joined betwixt two mountains’ populations, shall we say—the mountain of maleness and the mountain of femaleness. When a society moves as a whole in this direction there becomes the coarsening or roughening of the paths of peaceful interaction, and the attempt to enslave the energies and regulate the energies which are seen to be alien and threatening become a part of the societal picture. Insofar as your nation states have as populations tended to differentiate sharply between men and women and have dedicated the judgment of worthy of respect to the archetypical qualities—either of only male or only female—so the society shall show the imbalance of this hostility which creates sexual distancing.

Within the culture which you now enjoy, for instance, the male qualities of power and wisdom are seen to be, shall we say, more than equal to the more archetypical feminine qualities, and to that extent the society is impoverished by losing the close working or partnership of societal male and female. This may be seen to reflect the archetypical choice of conquering the subconscious by strength, no matter how brutally used, rather than by courtship. In a heavily matriarchal society, however, the same imbalance would exist, but those powers of physical and emotional toughness and intellectual strengths, or logical strengths, may be seen to be forced into a prostituted roughness.

Thusly, neither the matriarchal nor the patriarchal model for societal balance is accurate. The appropriate model for third-density illusion, however, may be seen not to matter in society nearly as much as in the individual, for it is the individual which is now choosing how to express love in relationship to others. The reason this query about balance between male and female is central is that it is in wisely, compassionately using this balance that an entity, whether male or female, may wend its way more and more to the “golden mean,” the middle of the path of truth wherein, by becoming more and more whole within, the path becomes more and more telling and interesting as well as more productive.

There is not the necessity so much to overbalance into the opposite sex’s strengths as it is good to trend—we correct this instrument—to tend more and more towards automatic recognition of the assets and willingness to use the assets of the opposite sex’s strengths. For instance, the male begins, when choosing a mate and setting out to live a jointly lived life, to be more and more the archetypical patriarch, the provider, the judge and the decision making leader. However, the decisions made by the male shall become more and more truly wise as the male learns from its partner in learning, not only to appreciate the female strengths and wisdoms but to find sympathetic resonance betwixt those strengths in the female and the deeper portions of its own female side or nature.

Thusly, men do not need to become creatures of intuition and vagaries, however, if the wooing of the physical female partner is then extended, not only to wooing the female’s subconscious or Goddess-like side but also towards courting the same energy within self. Thusly, the male which is alone or the female which is alone becomes, within itself, able to seek, woo and to court the subconscious, or in the female’s case, is able to place intuition and whim which has the authentic ring of true punch in it, not simply into direct practice but may lean upon that portion of the deeper self which is male and may justly and cautiously work with the male energies, the male strengths, which may seat intuition and hunch into a plan of action which is logical and which has the strengths of intellectual structure to enable this compassion and wisdom [be] a more balanced expression.

The male/female partnership of mates is intended to be central. However, the centrality of this relationship is echoed in any male/female relationship where energies are moving freely and without prejudice. Thusly, even those who live in the nunnery, for instance, may work with the male and female balancing because of the many relationships within any life between a father and children, a mother and children, various relatives, friends, teachers and all of those whom one meets in the course of life. Those who are willing to rest in the atmosphere or ambiance of the male or female energy, whichever is dynamically opposite of its own, may move ahead efficiently, although not as potentially quickly as the very powerful central male/female partnership which you often call marriage.

It may be seen that the lack of skill possessed by most at accepting a feeling of vulnerability to another or alien energy creates in both sexes a fear: the fear of the unknown, the fear of the different or alien. This fear is only intensified by the maturing of the physical bodies of male and female if the physical bodies of the entities adjoining in physical—we look for the correct word and find there is not one. We shall begin the sentence again. If female or male carry these fears into their sexual relationships these fears will become deepened and more and more fixed, for the power of sexual attraction is such that both male and female feel at risk and vulnerable at this insistent demand for nearness which the body complex has. Insofar as this nearness disturbs, the intimate experience shall be accounted a dangerous one, and its fruits, to an extent, will be squandered because of the profound fear of, shall we say, losing control, not only of the situation but of the very self.

What entity with this fear has not approached the sexual act feeling more and more, in the midst of pleasure, that it is somehow using a vital energy? This is true of both male and female. It is only in the atmosphere of shared trust that the energies which are indeed put out and lost in that way by both male and female in sexual release are taken in and used to balance both male and female. Fear stops this energy exchange, and in more subtle movements of male/female energy, the same kind of fear limits and distorts the experience and causes imbalance to progress within the entity which has fear.

Now, how can male and female, which have such complex powers over each other, find a way to be fearless in a relationship and therefore begin not only to be able to express the self in its conscious way, but also to begin a more inner balance? We might suggest above all other things any exercise between male and female in which the strengths of each are together used. The male which has been able, for instance, to express an idea in such a way that it is heard because it has listened to those with more intuition speaking about how to approach the matter in communication, has given respect to the female intuition. Likewise, and we realize these are simplistic examples, the female which is able to ask a stronger, more powerful male to aid in some situation, not needing to defend against that difference but being willing to accept it enthusiastically, awakens that portion of the self which is deeply male.

For men and women in a culture, in general, to make fun of the stylized role differences betwixt male and female is an act of fear. Those who are supportive, not in a sense of [pause] but in the sense of true partnership, are winning for themselves that prize which is a growing inner balance, for within your query was a sure sense of the heart of the teaching. The battle between the sexes is only dimly seen as men and women in your culture play out the roles the culture offers them or seek somehow to find roles which are comfortable and sensible for them.

The true treasure lies within each of you as you express the continuing effect of communications with the male and female strengths, each hearing each, so that eventually the male knows and respects without fearing its own deep and excellent intuition. The female in the same way is far more balanced when it has been able to find a comfortable way to express authority, a provider’s way of thinking, logical and sound judgment and reasoning.

Often the true riches for inner balances are not seen by two within what seems to be the perfect match. Because, in the more extremely romantic relationships, it is quite often true that the dynamic betwixt the male and female has been so persuasive as to be seductive, turning the male ever more male, the female ever more female, and each being very archetypically splendid, yet each remaining distant from the other to the extent that the balancing strengths of the opposite polarity in sex are not loved, accepted, assimilated and used within the self.

This only begins to work with this complex of energies and does not constitute a very full coverage of this central query. However, we find this to be a beginning. May we ask if there are queries before we leave this session of working?


We are known to you as those of Q’uo. The mystery remains a mystery, my brothers and sister. In seeking, in questioning, the great work of incarnation is accomplished. If the solutions subtly evade in a maddeningly long stream of half-learned lessons, do not let this apparent situation discourage or cut short the querying, the questing and the desiring, for it is in knowing your own desires and seeking clearly that the lessons of love shall find full sway for the outworking of circumstance in a commendable teaching situation.

We are those of Q’uo, and thank you. We would leave you now, cautioning you that we only offer opinions. We leave you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai. Adonai.