Our question today has to do today with mated relationships. We would like Q’uo to give us some information that might give us a better idea as to the potential of a mated relationship. What difficulties might one expect in entering into a mated relationship? What kind of attitude is most helpful in dealing with the difficulties? Please add anything else that might be of use or interest concerning mated relationships.

(Carla channeling)

We are those of the principle known to you as Q’uo, and we greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator in Whose service we are. We thank you for the great privilege of being called to your circle of seeking this day and we find the beautiful experience of joining your meditation to be a real pleasure. Blessings to each of you and many, many thanks for clearing the time in your schedule to spend time seeking for the truth. Truly those who seek with an open and loving heart shall be answered. Those who knock with empty hands shall find the door opening.

We ask but one thing before we share our opinions with you and that is that you do realize that our thoughts are simply that, opinions. They are fairly settled and we are glad to share them, but we have found that truth is a various thing, a thing that is part of a personal and intimate network of true things for each entity. And we ask each entity to respect their own universe, their own creation, and to be guardians of what goes into that creation and becomes a part of the network and the fabric of living. Examine each thought and, if it pleases you, work with it. This is why we come to you, so that we may share these thoughts. But if they do not please you, we humbly ask you to leave them behind without a second thought, for we would not be a stumbling block to any. With this said, we are most happy to speak upon the most large subject of the mated relationship and its possibilities and challenges.

We found the conversation preceding this time of working most interesting and were pleased to hear the one known as R say that when she was seven years old, she decided that she loved herself and wanted herself and was there for herself and that this was the foundation of her ability to love and to be loved in the rest of her incarnational experience. May we agree with the one known as R that this indeed is the foundation for all relationships. This instrument has often spoke of the first challenge of spiritual seeking [as] being that of falling in love with the self. Not because the self has become perfect. Not because the self has many virtues. Not because of anything except the fact of being. Each entity is a being of a certain kind. That certain kind happens to be a very specialized way of structuring a being. It is multi-leveled. There is a portion of the being that you are that comes from eternity and that dwells in infinity, so that there is no limitation to the circle of self. It is infinite and eternal. Out of that being has come a spark of that soul stream that is you. And you have found a habitation within a temple of flesh and bone. And again, as the one known as R has said, it is as a vehicle that is able to motivate, to move you physically through the many levels of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual catalyst that you have received and that you will continue to receive during your incarnational experience.

This self is at once the most simple of things and a complicated thing. In its simplicity, the self of all beings is that of a spark of the creative or Godhead principle so that each of you is a perfect, unique expression of the Creator, as if the Creator was colored with your particular way of loving, expressing and being. Each is as this note, or to be more precise, chord. As the vibrations of your being, which have their own element or range, find their ways to harmonize the various energies of the various chakras the infinite love and light of the one Creator moves through those chakras that are colored with your special blockages and over-energizings and other distortions from a totally balanced energy center. There is nothing neutral about each of you. And this is a wonderful thing. The vividness of those chords of being that each of you is, is a beautiful, breathtaking thing. Each of you is that entity that is vibrating as a melody, or as the scent of a flower. This is your gift, this very simple, very momentary expression of the essence of self. This is your gift in each moment and in each moment there is a new self, a new registering of coloration of being. It is not that all of the notes change, for indeed in many ways, that with which you move into incarnation is that which you take from incarnation. The bones, shall we say, are the same, coming in and going out. The changes that have been made, that can only be made in third density, the density of experience you now enjoy, are in the way the energies are balanced within each chakra and from chakra to chakra, so that these bones are fleshed out with different garments every day. Some of the changes are very slight, other changes, that you may feel that are very slight, go deeper, and have a more profound energy to them that makes a bigger change than you are aware on what this instrument would call the soul level.

So this is the simple being that you are. You are a vibration of the Logos. You are a sub-sub-Logos, a part of the creative principle. And each of you is that which includes all other beings, not simply upon your planet but within the entire creation of the infinite One. To narrow the focus a bit is to discover, in great profusion, the complexities of these connections [between] that which lives and dies and that which is just visiting the experience of living and dying while it is picking up the lessons that were prepared for this time of incarnation, and attempting to use this particular vibration that you experience for finding the self, finding ways to love, finding the grace to allow the self to be loved. In the explication and exploration of these large subjects come many, many lessons, one after another after another. In the school of life, as this instrument would call it, there are many tests. Some of these tests are never perceived by the student, other of the tests are perceived all too well and become great causes of concern, thereby snarling and sometimes baffling the energies that otherwise would be free to work. It is, as the one known as V would say, a puzzle to be solved, in many cases. The experience of a tangle or a difficulty, as this instrument was speaking of earlier, is an opportunity to gaze upon the self in the mirror of perceived experience and perceived difficulty, looking at the nature of the experience, the nature of the perceived blockage or over-activation within self or within other self and the finding of the way through the maze that does not partake of judgment, that does not partake of the consciousness of sin or error and yet that stays persistently and accurately upon the focus of self so that the maze is followed not from either emotion or intellect but rather from the heart.

The heart itself has a working knowledge of these complexities that create the mazes of a puzzle to be solved. And there is no maze created that does not have a solution. Within these boundaries of self lie not only complexities but complexities of various levels of profundity within the essential self so that there is much skill, when dealing [with] the self up close, in being able to slip from level to level and being able to work the maze, from level to level, so that there is a feeling of movement through time, movement through the spaces of self, movement not linear in nature but rather that movement which may seem to be very tedious and turning back upon itself and winding tortuously. Yet, in terms of the maze of self, such wanderings within the self are skillful and useful and very productive. Therefore, the first work, when gazing upon the mated relationship, is the work of coming into a fuller and fuller awareness of the self, of falling in love with the self, of becoming able to see the self without pride or humility but rather as that which is, that which has met the day, that which will express in honesty and sincerity for that day. When the self can meet the self and smile and go, within the mind, “Oh good, I get to spend time with me today,” then the self is ready to spend time with [an] other self.

The one known as G has not asked about relationship in a vacuum but rather within a situation in which the heart is leaping like a stag, happy and joyful in the rushing energies of honest and deeply felt, unconditional love. Therefore, as we speak we are not dealing with the ins and outs of making the commitment for the mated relationship. We are responding to this query assuming that the relationship is positive, mutually felt to be positive and inclusive of a third entity, that entity being the one infinite Creator.

Mated relationships are a triad. They are not two partners against the world. Rather they are a temple that has been enlarged so that two entities’ lives may be dedicated to that which is larger than themselves, larger than their worldly hopes, constituting that ark which contains those things that one couple wishes to save from the flood of the everyday. Into this ark of mating each may pour their ideals, their hopes, their dreams, their desires, their intentions, and every precious truth and spark of beauty that they have found and loved and made their own. Two entities offering these gifts to each other and to the Creator create a temple with a dome of light that, as that mated couple works through time and through circumstances which try every nerve and every part of the self, [becomes] stronger and stronger. Every time there is a situation met together, and energies are allowed to move between the two and the Creator is included in all discussions, no matter what the outcome of such a situation is, no matter how difficult the catalyst or how long the journey towards a solution seems, the dome of light is being strengthened because the journey is being made heart to heart, hand to hand. And always with the realization that the Creator and the Creator’s love is a huge part of the relationship. Indeed, this instrument can speak for herself, but we gaze into this instrument’s mind to find memories thick as falling leaves in the autumn of precious, well-remembered moments of this entity and the entity known as Jim coming together in tears or in joy or in trouble, offering each other honesty that is painful or wonderful or simply puzzled and again and again, finding in each other the light that had failed for the self, finding, because of the good mirror, information that was needed by the self. This instrument’s memory of self becomes that which is the memory of two selves, as one. And this plinth of shared memory is a substantial platform upon which to build the journey of seeking. This instrument has often said, the mated relationship is the fast track to spiritual evolution. And why is that? If you can think back to the last time that you were alone and had to deal with a situation without help, you can remember those feelings of isolation, even though one is never isolated from the Creator of all things. Nor is one isolated from a guidance system that is strong to help. 1 Yet when one is alone there is a sense of the light failing and the atmosphere becomes close and stuffy because there is simply no air, no mirror, no light, there is not that life that another entity brings into the dealings of self with self. In the interior of self without an entity to serve as an accurate mirror, the mirrors within the self may be very distorted and may not show the truth. There may be too much interference from previous assumption that has not been let go when those assumptions were no longer accurate.

Think back to the last time that you dealt with a situation with a friend, with a mate, with a partner, and that partner, that mate became a mirror or a teacher to you and you had the gift of sight, the sight that is not insight, for it comes by projection and reflection. Yet that sight, perhaps called “outsight,” is as the insight that has been the gift of that entity in the mated relationship whose catalyst it is not and who simply is able to gaze into your eyes, see you in the situation and reflect back that which she sees. The blessing of this shared vision becomes the greater the less clear one’s own vision is. So mated relationships, and indeed close partnerships of all kinds, if based within spiritual parameters, have a wonderful, flexible ability to have two seemingly imperfect and confused people become to each other the knight in shining armor and the lady in shining armor, those who are wiser than they know because love has entered into them and that guidance system that is not working for the other self is able to work through the love within the heart of that entity for the other in ways of creating the opportunity to find a novel and creative way to witness to the truth and the love that is seen in the other self.

The makeup of the human heart is such that as the one known as R has said, when there is the ability to share with another self, that which is a burden to one, by that very sharing, by that very hearing, by that exchange of energy, the sharpness of the pain of living is lightened and the suffering that one perceives [one] to be undergoing is cut in half. All things that can be spoken of can be healed. The great gift of a mated relationship is that all things can be spoken of and may be spoken of. There is permission given from one open heart to live fully as one. Were only two to become one, this is indeed a great thing. Yet, the added gift of the mated relationship is that there is normally some sort of ceremony within which the Creator is invited to join the union and to give life to the union that is so dearly wished. It may be seen simply as a blessing by those who attend the religious service and gaze upon such ritual as a social exercise or indeed a business proposition in which a contract is made with no small print and a long term. The value, however, within the spiritual or metaphysical universe, that universe that does partake of infinity and eternity, is that metaphysical values are specifically brought into the relationship to enhance the pairing so that it becomes a much stronger three-legged entity that can stand on its own and be that house in which two entities may live, the walls of which are made of hopes and dreams and love, but the floor of which is made of real effort, substantial work, and deep sacrifices between each to each.

And we would speak of sacrifice, for there is within the human experience that which can be perceived in many cases as sacrifice, which ensues from the commitment to a relationship. The essence of love in the sense of the love of the infinite Creator is open-hearted giving and open-hearted receiving of energy which passes freely between two people. Within this atmosphere then, two people turn and face living a life together. And as the everyday life moves on from the committed relationship’s start, those energies that have been working through each to create and direct the path of seeking for each become those energies that intertwine in new and original ways because of the proximity of the two and because of the continuing accretion of shared memory and shared catalyst.

There is that figure in the archetypal mind which has the entities upon the wheel of life and as the wheel of life is turning, the entities are turned upside down and all the money in their pockets is falling out and falling upon the fruitful earth. And indeed in marriage, the wheel turns and sometimes one is receiving the gifts of others and sometimes is losing the coins out of one’s pockets, perhaps on purpose, perhaps not. Yet, it may be perceived when one is at the top of the wheel, upside down and serving by giving, that one is being badly used, that one is sacrificing and not simply able, because of that position on the wheel, to offer a certain kind of love and support to the whole. It is well to be able to gaze steadily at the possibility, going into mated relationship, that there will be times of substantial, apparent sacrifice for, as this instrument has said many times, if two people feel that they are sacrificing almost a hundred percent for the relationship, with the other entity doing almost nothing, then it is possible that they are [each] doing their share. It is very difficult from close up to see the self and its efforts in balance with the efforts of the other self. It is sometimes hard to see the efforts of an other self and easy to see the efforts of self, and again there are times when the self is already seen as failing in a certain situation, and therefore the self is seen as not giving enough and the other self is seen as being overbalanced towards the giving.

We do not know and could not say if we did, what the catalysts shall be for any mated pair as they begin to ride this ark of hopes and dreams along that endless ocean of perceived experience within incarnation. It is only possible for those upon the ark that they have made by their mutual love, to shine the wood of it, to polish the brass, to clean the head, to trim the sail, to keep the keel even and steady and to gaze at the stars with sextant in hand, remembering your hopes and dreams and renewing, daily, that pride in being that makes the chores of living as one joyful. We encourage, in the dailiness of a mated relationship, the continual return to the place of marriage where two souls united with the Creator to create the temple of a lifetime of dedicated and committed loving. Move into the silence of that tabernacle which is within the heart. Move into that shared silence in which each may hear the Creator speak. Let love be that which it is but allow a love which you know not to undergird and support that which you know now as love. For love has infinite lessons to offer and the more one is able to open the heart to the infinite consciousness that is love, the more one is able to open even further and even further. So that, as this instrument would say, one comes into one’s bliss, and more and more is at rest and at peace within.

We thank the one known as G for this query and at this time we would open the meeting to any other queries that any might have the desire to ask at this time. We are those of Q’uo.

Hi Q’uo, this is J and I wanted to say hello. I wanted to ask a question about something I read in an interesting article today that stated that there might be beings that aren’t necessarily someone that we know that has a post set up north of Russia and it said these beings protect the Earth from asteroids, maybe from other interferences, and I was just wondering if you could confirm that or speak of it anyway?

We are those of Q’uo, and are aware of your query, my sister. We find that this energy is both true and untrue in terms of that which you have read, and to explicate, we would say that there are many energies within the inner planes which are detailed to work with perceived difficulties that might impinge upon those dwelling within third-density Earth at this time. These energies are not physical and cannot be found in dwelling places and so forth. Yet they are real, they are simply not those within third-density or physical bodies. This entity would call them angelic but this does beg the question of their nature, for we find no real word that lacks emotional energy for beings without bodies, shall we say. These energies, however, are positive, loving and very articulated.

May we answer you further, my sister?

No thank you, that’s good for now, thank you.

We thank you, my sister. Is there another query at this time?

Q’uo, beyond entering or moving through an initiation through the Great Pyramid, is there anything that an entity can do to become an initiated and purified channel of the Law of One that is as substantial and definitive and transformative? Can an intense desire effect the same type of change?

We are those of Q’uo and aware of your query, my brother. We cannot give you a general answer for entities besides yourself. We can say that there is for each self the possibility of creating and sustaining a successful effort towards realization. However, entities are variously blocked with regard to subtler work. There are densities and sub-densities within the inner planes where the structures of realization are promulgated and crafted by guidance systems that wish to aid and serve you in your evolution which must come into play when entities are within a certain frame of mind and when they have experienced a certain preliminary set of necessary…

[Side one of tape ends.]

These experiences may not come at the time that they are useful but like treasures, they are stored away against the proper moment and then, in that moment, entirely unpredictably for the most part, the frame of mind and the moment and those things which have needed to be ingested beforehand, in terms of experience, all come together and an epiphany results. We cannot say that there is one ritual which, when done with integrity and impeccability, will yield the result that you wish. We can only say that energies build to a moment and, in that moment, there is a crystallization of previous experience, and realization that occurs. It is a great gift and a great blessing. And in your case we may say that there are no adhering limitations or blockages which would keep the soul stream that lies beneath your personality shell from coming to that moment with those things which are necessary for realization. We simply suggest that the energy of faith be remembered and centered upon when there is doubt that one is able to become a purified instrument. Each is able to purify the self. That indeed is the very nature of the refinery that is the school of Earth.

May we answer you further, my brother?

No, thank you Q’uo.

May I ask, I seem to be many people in one physical body and there are times that I feel that I am a fraud and I have wondered how this can be because I have thoughts and often desires that seem foreign. I wondered if there is an explanation?

We are those of Q’uo, and are aware of your query, my sister. Indeed, the explanation is fairly simple, my sister. When an entity is honest and has insight and has moved through many experiences, it is natural to feel that one has become wiser and wiser and wiser. However, it is also true that in spite of or around any integrated, conscious, daylight personality there lies that which, culturally speaking, is simply not accepted or admitted among your peoples, and that is the full 360-degree self which contains every shadow, every evil, every darkness that can be imagined by the mind, the heart, or the soul of human beings. All of those things that have ever been imagined, good or bad, according to various people’s lives, are part of that which is R and equally that which is Carla, or Jim or J. There is no lack of evil, so-called, within the heart of any, for all were greatly accepting of and wanting this precise 3-D self that has all of the light and all of the dark. As experiences continue to flow in, there are moments when the integration falters and thoughts are separated out into the shadow side and the positive side. Neither side is a fraud. Both sides are real. The action of the self towards other self expresses that which is the perceived truth of the self. Many, many shadow, dark, evil parts of the self, then, stay within the self, are processed only by the self, there being no need to have the outer mirror of other self in order to be able to see one’s shadow self. The challenge then becomes internal. When the self is perceived as self-inconsistent, then whatever is perceived as the “bad self” is to be taken into the arms of that self which you experience as yourself so that you can rock that unloved portion of self in the arms of true compassion; so that you can say, “I fell in love with you a long time ago.”

Then there is the joy of telling that shadow the story that will charm it and will allow it to find its freedom within the interior portions of self where it can begin to be transformed into that power and grit of self, that, purified of the baser darkness, uses the power of darkness to assist the will of the daylight self.

May we answer you further, my sister?

Thank you.

Is there a further query at this time?

Q’uo, if it’s possible and appropriate, would you be able to touch me with your energies so that I could feel you?


We are those of Q’uo, and we have touched you.

Thank you.

Is there a final query at this time?

A couple of years ago I asked about the nature of the entity I know as Turquoise and I wonder if Q’uo would speak to whether enough has changed in my perception, in my environment, and my incarnation to be able to answer that query?

We make this entity smile, my sister. We are those of Q’uo, and we may say only that you are quite correct, that this matter is upon the cusp at this time and that you are dealing with it in a brilliant manner. We are sorry that we can not speak further at this time but there is that which shall take place within your process before we are able to speak without infringement. We thank you, my sister.

We are those of Q’uo, and we thank you again for the lovely experience of sharing in your meditation. We pray you may go forth from this meeting in joy and in peace. We are always with you by request as you meditate, to strengthen your meditation and to make the room of silence just a bit more sturdy and safe.

We are those of Q’uo. We leave you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai, adonai.

  1. Carla: I believe this phrase comes from my Episcopal/Anglican background, where the prayer book language has the holy spirit as “strong to help,” “strong to save,” etc. It has the same meaning as would the phrase “… that is a strong help.”