(L/Leema, October 27, 1985)

The universe seems to be a vast thing peopled with unimaginable numbers of suns and whirling galaxies that paint the sky with diamond drops. There seem to be an enormous number of individuals even on one small planet that makes it way about an obscure star near the edge of the galaxy it inhabits. There appear in one person’s mind to be many, many thoughts and ideas which range in great complexity from one subject to another. There appear in each idea that there are ramifications and considerations of various levels of thinking, so that one who is more mature in years shall think differently upon the same subject than one who is young. All of these appearances are appearances of separation.

In truth there is one creation, there is one consciousness, and for each density there is one thought. In your density you are seeking to know the thought of love, not intellectually or by any guidebook but rather from the inside out, from the heart outwards, through the mouth, through the ears, through the eyes. One who has the heart of love also has ears that hear with love; one who has a heart of love sees that which passes before its gaze with eyes of love. When it seems apparent that there is a lack of communication between two entities, that there are hurt feelings and insults, one must look to the love in the insult and the love in the hurt feelings, for both of these pains belong to the emotional self and are a distortion of love.

We shall dwell primarily upon the self that is hurt. One who is hurt is experiencing a distortion of love, in that it is not being appreciated for the gifts that it gives. And yet, is the gift any less because it is not appreciated? Is the giving less pleasurable because compliments are not given? One with a heart full enough of love can give without need for compliment, or thank you, or payment of any kind, emotional or financial, physical or spiritual. Therefore, the one who is hurt is working with an illusion which is that of separation, for why is there need for the creation to thank itself? Why is there need for consciousness to thank itself? And why is there the need for the subject of love to thank itself?

We urge those who are in pain because of being hurt by the speech or actions of another to take into meditation the unity of all that there is, and to so strengthen the will and deepen the faith in that unity of love that gifts can be freely given with no expectation of any kind that there may be a return or a reward. Imagine each gift that one gives as the arrow which is sent from the bow. It will find its target more and more purely as the giver gives with less and less expectation of any reward, but, rather, gives for the upwelling joy of the gift’s being given.

As to the case of the one who insults another, again one cannot insult oneself except by insulting another, unless one consciously wishes to insult the self. Normally the illusion calls up for those who insult others a need to find and choose and pick out those things which it finds are lacking in the self. Therefore, in any insult, look to the reflection of that insult upon the giver of revilement and have compassion on a soul that is hurting itself unknowingly and is falling into a vortex from which it is sometimes difficult to emerge unscathed. Feel compassion and blessing and an upwelling of joy in aiding such an insulting and difficult entity, for this entity is in great need of stable, sturdy, calm and constant joy that ever radiates and can never be extinguished.

We realize that this is difficult to accomplish. If there were no challenges, why would one decide to enter into incarnation? Take your challenge up with joy when it comes to you, and attempt to the best of your ability to offer the same constant love to those who wrong you and to those who praise you. Cast a cold eye on the difference between the two. For all things are one and the love in all things must needs be found. This is the heart of the lesson of insult and emotional pain.


Group question: What is guilt?

(L/Leema, November 17, 1985)

I am L/Leema and I greet you, my friends, in the love and in the light of the Infinite Creator, whom we all serve in joy. And indeed it is a great joy to be here with you, to share these moments with you, to be in communion with that which makes each of you who you are. For that is the question that has come before us this evening.

There may seem to be many, many forces which operate upon the personality from without, those things the society would wish you to do, those things those about you would wish you to do, and yet when one asks for comment upon this subject, the comment must turn upon the subject of identity. For whom you listen to and what stress you feel is, in the end, a function of who you are, not what you mean to yourself.

Each of us is unique. This is not a uniqueness that is attempted, that is worked at or that is in any way manipulative. Nor is it anything that can be manipulated, for your identity is one harmonious chord of being, unique in the whole creation, infinite in its beauty and irreplaceable.

And so you sit in circle within a dwelling place in meditation, each chord blending with each chord as the whole group becomes one identity, seeking the One which is not unique but which is limitless. That from which you are derived, shall we say, had no identity until It decided in the vastness of timelessness to experience Itself. And so you sit in meditation, far-flung bits of the Creator who have become unique. You experience each other, and the Creator experiences Itself.

We move now back into the area of illusion from which the question was asked concerning the pressures of “should” and “must” that are given one by those souls around one and by the society itself in its many forms. Perhaps it is easier now to see the illusion for what it is: many things impinging upon that which is unique. You who are unique cannot pluck this or that from you, for you have chosen the pressures, the musts, the shoulds and all of the confusion that follows therefrom in order to develop further your uniqueness, and thereby the Infinite Creator’s experience of Itself.

We realize that there is a need within the illusion to find a way of thinking about or dealing with these pressures. There are as many ways as there are individuals.

One way which we might recommend to you is gentleness with yourself. If you can see yourself as that unique being that is not threatened by extinction by any force from without or from within, then perhaps you can see the possibility of offering to yourself the gift of gentleness. patience, and kindness to the self by the self. Examine, if you wish, a pressure that is causing you anguish, pain, and confusion. Turn it about in your mind. Test it. Allow the uniqueness that is you to impinge upon that illusion, and then with kindness, and thanking the source of the pressure, the seeming pain, the seeming confusion, allow the self to sound its chord.

Perhaps it has been a difficult thing to hear your own beingness. This is understandable, my friends, for you do dwell within a heavy illusion. The heaviness of the illusion is not an error. There is a design which involves your becoming fuller, developing your uniqueness, accentuating certain qualities of being upon which you may have worked for many, many lifetimes. How could you develop without stimulus, even if that stimulus is painful? Look at the world with a kind eye, a gentle eye, a forgiving eye. The world does not mean to hurt. The illusion is doing what it was intended to do, and you may move very quickly and confusedly so that you muddy that beautiful chord which is yourself, or you may stop and become gentled and thank the illusion for its pressures and its anguish and its pain. You shall not be victorious over it. You shall learn from it. And it shall learn from you.

It is well to remember that the undifferentiated terms such as “society” and “family” and “church” are in fact parts of yourself which you have called to yourself in order that you may polish up that beautiful, harmonious, infinitely lovely identity; that you may develop and thrive without regard for life or death as you know it. We know that this may be somewhat difficult to assimilate. For you are entities who dwell within bodies and who are impinged upon by what seem to be marvelously strong outer forces. Know, my friends that all of those outer forces are portions of the creation which you have called to yourself for purposes of development.

Gentleness, patience, and quiet are the balms of the identity as it waits and watches and loves and chooses. Whenever the tangle of experience becomes heavy, take your fingers from the knot and rest. Rest within the infinite, invisible world which is the creation. Rest, knowing that you do not have to be you by expressing or changing or doing anything. In meditation seek quiet; seek silence; seek that which is yourself: the One Infinite Creator. And that which is you shall then have time to interact fully with the experiences you have had. You cannot be puzzled and be active, and find change to be helpful. You can be puzzled and be silent and find that change, development, and love bubble forth in good time and with messages for you that you would never have developed without the seeming pressures that are seeming to be so difficult. We ask you to consider that you live within a house, a spiritual house, which has been constructed of illusion within illusion within illusion. There are many intellectual paths one may take at any time. There are many emotional paths one may take at the same time.

But there is one silence. There is one decision: to turn to meditation in patience, in kindness, and in gentleness and with no stress. For you have nothing to prove. You have nothing to gain or lose. You are as you are. And you will be as you will be because of your patience within the silence, as you digest those things which you may have experienced.

Never fear that you are cut off from yourself. It is in no way necessary that you fear this. For the louder the pressures from without may cry, the quieter you may get, and within silence all becomes love. And that which your higher self has planned for you to experience is experienced in love and without confusion. Can you do this of your own self within the illusion? The answer is, “No.” If you need a quick answer, you may have to deal with the illusion. If you can find the infinite moment of silence, the work will be done infinitely better.

We celebrate you, my friends, each perfection and the perfection of the group. And we thank you for requesting our presence and for allowing us to be a part of those things which you may take into your silence, which you may patiently, gently, and lovingly turn over and gaze at, and find further perfection in the gazing. May each of you have a grand adventure within yourself as you meet the illusion moment by moment.

We are known to you as those of L/Leema and we leave you now, resting, lingering within the beauty of each of you. We leave you in the love and in the light of the One Infinite Creator. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.


(Hatonn, January 13, 1986)

We leave you in the magic of eternity. We are a breath upon the winds and we sigh onward now. How blessed we have been to spend time with you. We leave you in the love and in the light, in the magic of the awareness of the One Infinite Creator in you that each of your friends has. We leave you in infinity. We leave you in all that there is, and yet we leave you within the small, small circle of your body as you sit in meditation. You are the universe. It is magic because you perceive it as such. We are known to you as those of Hatonn. Adonai. Adonai.


Once again may we express our gratitude to everyone who has ordered and patiently awaited the publication of THE CRUCIFIXION OF ESMERELDA SWEETWATER by Don Elkins and Carla Rueckert. After talking with the printer it looks like each of you should receive your copy around the end of April.

Again this Easter we are happy to offer THIS IS THE DAY, a cassette tape done by Carla Rueckert and her brother, Tommy. Like JENNY, this tape is a performance recording, and, therefore, is imperfect. It does, however, offer much to the mystical Christian seeker as well as those who enjoy a good story. It is the story of a little boy and a small tree who grow up together and who are transformed by their shared experience. Songs and narration tell the story.

A special thanks to everyone who has made donations in support of readers of our books who are in prison and who have no money of their own.

And let each of us who seek peace on this weary and noble planet join our prayers and meditations with each of the marchers on the Great Peace March as they walk from Los Angeles to Washington, D. C. Each step is hope. Each breath is life. They walk for us all.