DEALING WITH CHANGE AND SUFFERING
Group question: We would like to know if there is a best way to deal with a balance between the need to do something and waiting to let things happen naturally when we are going through big changes that may be an initiation or transition of a major nature in our lives? What is the balance between the work of the heart and the work of the mind in dealing with these changes?
(Q’uo, March 15, 1998, Sunday Meditation)
We are those known to you as the principle of Q’uo, and we greet each of you in the love and in the light of the One Infinite Creator. May we say how privileged and how humble that we feel to be asked to share our opinions and our thoughts with you at this time. We are aware that this week the concern upon your minds is that of change. There are many ways of looking at this necessary and inevitable process. Perhaps for us we would take a step back from the soul in transition and attempt to describe what we see as the situation against which this drama of change and transformation plays itself out. The one known as Sarah has expressed a love of the concept of the holographic universe, and indeed we also feel that each of you is as the hologram of the creation and of the Creator. This, of course, is not obvious or manifest within your third-density illusion, and yet there is a spot within each awakened soul that lies far below the level of sense and rational thought where the spirit knows self, and that basis or fundament is a kind of knowing of self that does not change with time or space or occasion, but rather is the essence of self, the infinitely subtle and unique patterns of vibration which create that complex perfume of light and color that is the spark which each of you is. It is difficult to express this concept in a language which measures by size, for you as a citizen of eternity are both infinitely large and infinitely small. However, in both views of this basis of self, the spark of self is a reality in the midst of confusion, a feeling deep within that endures beyond all experience. When it rises to consciousness for even a moment the conscious life is transformed for that moment.
And when these moments of clarity occur to each who is upon a shadowed path and feeling the stress of change, we encourage the careful etching into memory of that moment, for the bare memory of the realness of self is a balm and a comfort against the sometimes very difficult emotional and mental experiences of one who is in the process of change. Beyond all other resources, for the one who perceives herself as changing, this basic resource of knowing that holographic self within and remembering the way that feels is a powerful and saving memory.
Let us look now at change using the word, suffering. When the life of flesh is born it immediately begins to change. Within the physical world all things that grow bodies and appear in the illusion as part of the Earth plane change continuously through their time of bloom, ripening, and decay. The source and ending of all these changes for physical flesh is dust and ashes. We do not for a minute suggest that the source and ending of the change within the spiritual seeker is dust and ashes. However, it is well to realize the absolute inevitability of constant and unremitting cycles of alteration and transformation, and within each transformation there is the decay, there is the loss of what is left behind. And there is that time when loss has occurred but new life has not become apparent. Those times, which this instrument has often called the Dark Night of the Soul, are times of gravest pain and bewilderment for many. Certainly the mind grasps the concept of change. And as this instrument was saying earlier, the mind views change as a problem to solve. This is the natural tendency of a brain, and we make this distinction clearly between intellect and consciousness, that the form was created simply to solve problems, to make choices that tend towards the safety and comfort of a physical vehicle.
However, when the spirit awakens from Earth’s pleasant slumber, it beholds not simply the natural processes of a life, not simply the earning of money, the acquisition of needed items and so forth, but far more acutely there is the sense of the mind’s being unable to grapple with or solve the process of spiritual change. So often those in the midst of spiritual change do attempt to use the intellect. It is a natural and a common resource. After all, the mind is consulted continuously, is working continuously, and when it is faced with the subtle nuances of that which is deeper than words, it finds itself uncharacteristically boggled. There are things upon which the intellect cannot work. There are situations which the intellect cannot make into a problem to solve. There is that feeling of being out of control, and intellectually speaking, this feeling is accurate. For there is little that the brain call do to promote peacefulness of heart or that wonderful feeling of grace.
This inability to bring the resources of the mind into play and fire away at the situation is not easily understood by those who have not awakened. They do not see beyond whatever material concerns are at the surface of the change or are happening concurrently with the change that is sensed within, and consequently the spiritual seeker is cut off not only from his own abilities of intellect but also the intellectual resources of those about him. Conversely, those who grasp and fully sympathize with the subtleties of spiritual regeneration cannot bring words to bear upon a process which is far deeper and less personal than words and language in general might offer. The issues involved in spiritual transformation are profoundly impersonal as well as uniquely personal to each seeker. That is, at the same time that the seeker is experiencing unique perceptions because of the unique pattern of distortions for that particular entity, that spark is also melding with and creating dynamics with a greater Self, which process is very difficult to express in language, for this Self is at the same time that spark that is you and all that there is. The layers of self as one moves down the tree of mind are infinite, and as the experiencer moves through and takes part in this process of spiritual change it may at one moment be at one level of mind; at another moment at a bewilderingly different level of mind, skimming and diving deep, coming up and leveling out, and at the same time not knowing that one is in motion. The spiritual sea is three-dimensional, and you can breathe the water.
So there are experiences of being taken to the bottom of self, of becoming the planet, the star, the sun, the creation; at the same time, those infinitely small awarenesses of the self as a thought, as an ether, as an object such as a beautiful butterfly, or a perfectly blooming flower, or given the sardonic nature of certainly this instrument’s mind, a pile of garbage. All of these levels and feelings that the senses cannot process within incarnation are in play and in play with a good deal of freedom while the entity is attempting somehow not simply to survive this process but to embrace it, to make a welcome for it, and to cooperate with it and perhaps accelerate the process. Yet the essence of spiritual change is suffering. There is a shallow suffering to being without a home, keen but not bone deep. There is a deeper degree of suffering in becoming aware of either the depth of suffering of the self or the suffering of the world. And this can crash in upon one with mind-numbing power and intensity and cast one into a great pit of despair.
This is part of the creation. This too is to be embraced, this death, this pain, this limitation, this very pain is to be embraced somehow. The self does not see any possibility of becoming able naturally to embrace suffering. Here is where the heart may become an ever more helpful and useful resource, for while the mind is an excellent tool for the outer world of decisions within the outer world, it is within the heart and the deeper emotions that spiritual change shall take place. And, therefore, it is to the heart that the seeker may reliably and trustfully come; sometimes for comfort, sometimes for encouragement, and sometimes simply for a place to be held and comforted and loved. Whereas the mind must think itself sacred, the innermost heart is already holy ground, and awaiting there is the Creator, that Intelligent Infinity that so curiously loves every spark from which It is learning about Itself. As you sit within this temple and remember the Creator and feel that holiness within, the self may find surcease from pain just for that moment. And, oh, what a relief that moment is!
We would at this time pause and ask for a redirection of the question, for we realize that there were several strands to the information requested this day, and we would like to have further direction. Is there a question at this point that someone would wish to throw in so that we could, shall we say, get our bearings. We are Q’uo.
[new speaker] Virginia
How does the releasing of past traumatic experiences or past programming relate to the progress that can be made and the changes that will be necessary at this time to go further in the ascension
[new speaker] Q’uo
We are those of Q’uo and we thank you for your question, my sister. The past often seems to be a kind of permanent burden, at least the less pleasant portion of that past. There are crystallized nuggets of pain, emotional and spiritual pain, that are locked deeply within the personality and character of each seeker. Any attempt to analyze or therapize them into a new configuration is limited in its success because it is not seen by most therapeutic entities that the issue is forgiveness. The deeply buried programming and crystals of pain are seen as that which need to be taken out, to be pulled up by the roots, seen in other words as weeds in a garden. And yet this approach only tends to build walls thick enough to protect one from those crystallized areas of pain without coming into a balanced awareness of that pain. One cannot give it away. One can only give away what one has forgiven one’s self for feeling, and the triggers for this forgiveness are different for each seeker. The key, however, is forgiveness of self, forgiveness of others, forgiveness of humanity. For truly it is the very nature of the physical world as you know it, this heavy chemical density in which you abide, that almost nothing can
However, when the senses are awakened by that final iota of forgiveness it is as though someone has lifted the burden from the shoulders. As to how to approach that moment of release we can only encourage persistence of desire. It is written in your holy works, “Ask and you shall receive. Knock and it shall be opened unto you.” And this is true. We always say through this instrument, “Be careful for what you wish for.” For truly, all desires will be granted to you. And yet what does a spiritual being wish for? Does it wish for surcease of pain, or does it wish to serve the Creator in whatever way it may serve the Creator? Are not the paths of those spiritual entities which are inspirations to you within your world, those lives which have experienced much pain and suffering? And yet you see in those lives a joy, a delight, a passion that somehow transforms the experience of suffering. This instrument’s path to the Creator is the teacher known to you as Jesus the Christ. This entity deliberately sought its suffering and simply dedicated it to the suffering of all beings, opened its arms to the world and said, “I take all of the pain, all of the suffering because I want there to be less suffering, and this is what I can do.”
In many ways you also may take upon yourself the sorrow of the world, and this is a spiritual practice that many have pursued. We ask you to gaze with a cold eye upon the suffering involved in transformation, for this attitude is a balanced one in our humble opinion. It is to the person who is able to gaze upon the Dark Night of the Soul which this instrument spoke of with an indifferent eye but a full and willing heart, that this process may begin to come easier. By releasing and yielding to your suffering, by welcoming that which must be suffered as a brother and as a sister, by offering the hospitality of your life, your body, your mind, your strength, and your will to this process, the heart is opened as if by magic, and you find that no matter how intensely you hurt, it does not kill but, rather, cleanses, empties, renews, and readies that instrument to be an ever clearer, purer, and brighter channel for the light that must come through into the world or the love that must come through into the world, not from you but through you.
As you embrace this process those emotions of release and humility, humbleness and nothingness become an offering to be lifted up unto the Creator as “all that I have.” “This is all that I have and this I give to you. Do with me what you will. I am a boat. Life is the ocean. Toss me somewhere. I shall attempt to sail.” This kind of abandon, this action of the Fool is powerful. And as you become ridiculous, as you embrace this darkness you embrace also the light that follows. For truly in the Dark Night of the Soul there is a moon setting and a sun rising. And that sun is a glory beyond all space and time signifying a Love that created all that there is. We would encourage that moment of abandon within each of you where you not only say but feel, “Not my will, but Thine.” For you see there is a cyclic nature to manifestation of any kind. As the Creator’s heart beats creations are born and die. The one thing that remains, whether it is perceived or not, is that Intelligent Infinity that we call only call Love in your language, this vibration which is the one great Original Thought or Logos is what you are, with no past or future but simply a moment of being that is infinite.
Move back into this awareness when you have done your work with the mind, with the emotions, always you are the branches reaching down to the roots of the vine, for your roots are those of perfect Love. And as you spiral ever upward, you shall be light and dark and light again and again and again. And that which has become a burden will be sloughed off again and again and again, for you shall mature, not by adding things unto your self, but by allowing them to fall away from the self. In fear, you see, you collect and armor and harden. As Love is able to touch those difficulties that have crystallized within they are subtracted from the already whole, already perfect being that is your reality.
We realize that what we have offered may be slim comfort to those to whom this present moment is a vale of tears, and we would remind each of you that the Creator’s love can only be expressed, that support can only be given, by the hands that are of flesh. You are the Creator to those about you. Your support is the only way the Creator can support within the incarnation, within the illusion. Your hands. Your voice. Your smile. Your eyes. These things are your gifts to your brothers and sisters. Sorrow is essential to this experience that you call third-density life. But your attitude towards this sorrowing, grieving, and changing process can create for you a peace that surpasses all understanding. We encourage each of you to see that heaven, even if it is from afar, to know that the angels and ministers that have always loved you, love you now and are here to help you, though unseen they hover, waiting to comfort, looking for ways to confirm any glimmer of hope within. You are never alone in this process. This is a guarded and protected process, and the haven does abide. May each of you help each other to find your way home.
NOTES TO OUR READERS
(There were no Notes in Light/Lines Number 67.)