[The session is already in progress when recording begins.]

[You say you have been studying this area of research for] four decades?

Four decades altogether, and three decades teaching.

Three decades teaching with L/L Research?

I’ll just say very briefly how Carla and I know each other and I’ll pass the floor on to Carla and I’ll also give an overview of our time tonight.

I read the Ra Material, also known as The Law of One, in 1989 and I thought it was the best thing I’d ever read. I still think it’s the best I’ve ever read. Some of it resonated, at least. It was the greatest knowledge, poetry and science; all of that, all together. And I made a journey to Louisville in 1994, at a time when I was in turmoil in my own life. Carla counseled me for a long time. Now it’s eleven years and she’s still my counsel and teacher. I go to her when I have a question.

I stayed in Louisville for nearly three years and I joined the silent meditations held there. And there I learned about seeking, what you call the self-inquiry, your looking at yourself, asking the questions and sharing that and then giving it up to the higher wisdom. Carla [and the group] would [also hold] channeled [meditations] when I was there. She was the channel. We tonight have this privilege of sharing her knowledge and wisdom as she is looking at our questions and asking about the deep issues and growing that way. I think that’s a priceless pearl that I carry with me.

When I asked Carla to do this talk, I thought that love should be the subject. You know, what else?! And it’s something that I chose as a topic for tonight: love. Carla speaks on quite a spectrum of topics! And then, today, we had this inspiration to make this better [focused, as I put up signs around the village] and I just pulled up this speech template which I found in Carla’s room in our house of her speech and I just pulled up these words [from those notes she had made for the speech.] We made the signs using her notes and phrases. I told her this about four o’clock today, so she quickly revised her talk to correspond with the signs we had made that are up all over Forest Row. So let’s see what happens.

So, I asked Carla to talk for forty-five minutes and then we will have a break. There are cookies, drinks and juices to share. Then we will have the other forty-five minutes to ask questions and to share our own wisdom, and just share whatever that comes between us. We then should leave this place by the closing time of 10 PM.

That should work fine. Okay.

May I just say one thing? It’s quite noisy with the traffic. I didn’t realize it’s as noisy as it is here so that’s just a factor, that we just have to put up with all the traffic. 1

If you can’t hear me, just go like this [Carla raises her hand] and I’ll speak louder.

I honor all of you, and I love each and every one of you with all my heart. It is just such a privilege and a pleasure to be with you all.

I offered a challenging topic this evening. I asked everybody to come and do a little work. Let’s work together. I would like to facilitate all of our being able to become aware, in a deeper way, of who we are, tonight, of the power and the magic of ourselves. Each of us is a magical creature, and we are made of love. So, the question: “What would love do?” which is P’s original request of me, begins with the realization that we are love; that we embody in our flesh, in our frailty, in our humanity, in our mistakes, and in our everyday behavior, the one infinite Creator.

In truth, I don’t believe there are any mistakes. I believe that the buses and the cars going by are a wonderful part of who we are, and really, what they bring in to us is the shadow side of who we are because we have to bring into this sacred space with each other our dailyness, the noise and the rush of everyday life. So, there’s no mistake that, in this fading light of a beautiful summer’s evening, we hear a little traffic noise and we feel a little bit jangled. Because that’s the rush of our life. We sit on the road, even when we rest. We rest by the road of the passion-play of consensus reality. Yet, also, in the present moment, our roots go down to the center of the earth, which is being born anew. And our bloom and our branches go up to heaven, bringing down the sky, welcoming the sun, being part of all that there is. And all that there is is the one infinite Creator.

Can we see it? No. But, I ask you: Does the Creator have hands, that He can reach out into this world? Does the Creator have a sword of truth with which He can speak? Through our mouths is the only way [the Creator can speak.] Through our hands is the only [way the Creator can touch.] Our feet upon this earth, as we walk, are the only way the Creator can have intention within flesh, within our society, within our families and within ourselves.

So often, we forget to give the gift of our self to ourselves. We forget that we are deeper than the surface, that we aspire and dream and hope higher than our eyes can see and that we bring in, through our consciousness, the unseen realms of fairies, gnomes, earth, air, wind and fire. Through our consciousness, we can speak the stories of the animals. Through our hands in the earth, we can offer to the Creator what little we know to help the Creator bring forth our food, and the beauty of the flowers. Through us, the Creator tries to help us to create groups where we can mirror to each other, caring for each other, sharing the earth with each other, offering stewardship and understanding to the earth and the people around us.

Where is the love in this moment? I invoked it, very consciously, by telling you that I love you. I don’t know you. I wish I did. I would love to. I would love to sit down and have girlfriend time with all of you. But, I don’t [have that time.] But what I do know is your very soul. I know who you are because I know who I am. I’m a child of the one infinite Creator. And when I center back to that, my feet are on the ground, my heart is open, and I am ready to do what I came to do.

I think, of all the things that people ask me, the most common question is, “What is my purpose? What is my mission? Why am I here?” And it’s so difficult for me to help them bring themselves back, beyond the doing, beyond the functioning, to being. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to our conscious, rational minds. We’re not trained. Our culture has not trained us to be. Our culture has trained us to function, and we function very well. We do the chores of the daily life. We do the job that we’ve [had] set out to do by someone hiring us, or by our own tasking of ourselves. But what we really came here, as a mission, to do was to be. So let me talk a little bit about being and the fact that we are love.

You may be familiar with the system of chakras that creates the energy body. There are many systems, Yogic and Buddhist and other systems of healing, where there are a certain number of chakras; seven, nine, ten or twelve, depending on to whom you talk. In the system with which I am most familiar, which is the system created by the contact which I’ve often carried in my work, there are seven chakras. These chakras mirror the densities of life in the Creation. So, let me start with Creation and move, then, into ourselves.

The first density of Creation, according to this system, 2 which I find very useful so I’ll share it with you, is the first density and that density includes earth, air, wind and fire. It is the density of the elements and the elementals. There are spirits of air, spirits of fire, and so forth. They have many names in many different mythologies but, basically, the earth, and all that is in it, is alive, intelligent and aware. This is the red-ray, or first density.

The second density, according to this system, is the density of the plants and the animals. It’s a density of growth. The orange-ray density is the plants and animals. The density of elements is as it is, although crystals do grow in certain ways. But the density of growth is the plants that are reaching up towards the light and the animals that are seeking food and using that which the Creator has created in order to grow and to move about. In the first and the second densities there is no separation between elements, plants and animals, and the Creator. Each plant, each animal, each rock, knows who it is and why it’s here. It is here to be. It is here to express its kind, to bloom and to share its fragrance and its beauty as a gift that is just generously given into nothing, into the air. The Creator takes it and loves them back for it. So, every flower knows how much it is loved. Every bush and every tree is perfectly well aware of the Creator.

Then you come to third density, that troublesome density which involves us. The third density, consensus reality, or the yellow-ray density, is us; we humans, two arms, two legs, two consciousnesses. One, the consciousness of our body, is the consciousness that came with the space we’re renting in this incarnation. Our physical vehicle’s consciousness is the consciousness of the great ape. It has many instincts and it expresses after its kind unless we decide to tutor it, develop it and bring it along so that we lift it up into the open heart, that place where we can make choices and [where we can decide] to become aware not only of ourselves, which is the critical characteristic of third density, but to decide that we wish to refine ourselves and to start aiming towards fourth density.

The fourth density becomes not a physical density but a metaphysical density. We are approaching a tremendous shift. Our planet is going through it as we speak. It is shifting and a new heaven and a new earth is being born. In this earth, again, we, as fourth-density pioneers, shall increasingly be able to communicate with the plants, the animals, the elements, love itself, [which is] the great characteristic of fourth density; wisdom, [which is] the great characteristic of fifth density; and to begin to balance wisdom and love, which is the great characteristic of sixth density.

The remaining density of this octave of Creation that is set before us by this material, is the density of foreverness, where we begin, for the very first time in all of these eons of developments, to lose, at last, the burden of identity, and to merge once again with the one infinite Creator.

At the end of this seventh density, we reach the octave. We move again into timelessness. The great heart of the Creator beats, and we begin another creation, the Creator sending out all of the elements, and the spirits, and the sparks of the infinite Creator. Each time the Creator’s heart beats, billions of years have gone by, and the Creator has learned a little bit more about Itself. We are not at the top of the food chain; the Creator is. And we shall be food for the one infinite Creator, because we shall bloom, and bloom again, and bloom again, and each time, we will share everything that we know about who we are with the Creator and He will breathe us in, and thank us. That is actually what we are here to do.

Now, as we work with that, we can take in and integrate these densities into our being, and we do that, according to this system of teaching, by working with the energy body that is the chakra system.

So often, you may have noticed that people that are physically very frail seem very vital, and people that have all kinds of physical energy never seem to be very happy or very prosperous. And often the reason for that is that the body is the creature of the mind. So, if our mind, our thoughts, and that energy that’s coming through us are not, to some extent, disciplined and understood, loved, accepted and just sort of organized for the day, we’re going to have a certain amount of trouble being ourselves through the day. So, I think it’s really helpful to be aware of the kind of body that is actually energizing us and making us vital.

So, picture with me, if you will—and this is really pretty common to most chakra systems—a system of seven chakras, with the octave chakra being white light above our heads. The chakra system begins at the root chakra at the base of the spine, and is like the rainbow: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet at the crown, here.

Now, the red-ray, or first chakra, is the chakra of our elementals. It’s the chakra of survival, sexuality and the basic vitality of life. There are many ways in which our culture, at this time, is dedicated to creating an atmosphere of fear so that we never completely open our red-ray; we never completely say “yes” to life. It is a good thing to open that chakra, to put our feet on the ground and say, “yes.” All of the infinite energy of the one Creator, according to this system, just pours out of the heart of the planet, which is the repository of love and light for our local Creation, and it streams up in an unending and inexhaustible supply into that red-ray chakra. When we say “yes” to life in survival and understanding of our bodies and acceptance of our bodies as they are, then we open our way to accepting that energy and letting it flow up and through. Now, we can do very little with this energy. We can’t give it away. We can’t properly give it away. People do try but it is not possible, really, to give it away in any lasting manner. It fails, immediately.

The second chakra is the gut chakra and it has to do with personal relationships. The orange-ray chakra is that chakra in which we deal, first of all, with ourselves, and after that, with everyone that we meet. So, the first person with whom we need to come into an accepting and compassionate relationship is ourselves and often we leave that till last. We are so good at taking care of the people around us and…

[Carla drops her lecture notes, pauses to pick them up, and replaces them on her lap.]

Apparently I’m not going to refer to these notes so I really ought to leave them on the floor!

Anyway, this dealing with ourselves helps us to open and balance that energy center. Again, we can’t give ourselves away from this level, although people try. It fails. So, what we need to do is to realize that what we’re trying to do in this very powerful gut chakra is to absorb the energies that we feel from other people and to balance [those feelings] according to our understanding of them and of ourselves. The more we are able to balance and understand our own selves, the more success that we have in being able to rest in the energy of other people, and to have personal relationships [with them].

The third energy center is right here.

[Carla indicates the solar plexus area.]

This is often what gets very tight when we’re experiencing getting ready for a family gathering. It gets us right here. That’s because the yellow-ray energy has to do with the way we deal with groups. The group can be the family. It can be the cricket team. It can be the work environment that you go to work in. It can be any group of which you’re a part. If you’re a part of a church or a club, or are trying, on a committee, to do something for the ecology, you’re dealing with yellow-ray energy. This planet is yellow-ray. This planet is third-density. So, really, it resonates tremendously to us to deal with groups.

Actually the Creator arranged it so we couldn’t help it. There’s no way we can avoid dealing with groups. We can try to be a hermit but we find ourselves on the internet ordering something from somebody somewhere else that’s an actual human being who is going to have to get on his computer and move all the paperwork around so we can get our salt and our sugar and the things we can’t grow, or whatever it is that we’re ordering. We are absolutely interconnected and interdependent. We don’t have a choice. That’s the nature and the characteristic of this density.

And why would we not want that to be so? Here we are trying to learn enough about love to graduate into the density of love and understanding. In this chakra, also, we can’t give our energy away, not and have it last. People in the healing professions try so often to give from the yellow-ray center, from their own personal power. You can’t do it. You can give it away for a while but then it just sort of goes away. I don’t know if you’ve ever had one of those healings where you felt great for like twelve hours, or twenty-four hours, and [then it wears off]. It’s because you’re trying to give from that level, the yellow-ray level, and the level of this earth is not the level of giving and taking. It’s just the level where you see the energy, you understand the energy, you balance the energy, you open up your chakra, and you keep the energy moving up into… tah-dah!… the green-ray energy center which is the heart.

Now, the heart is a little bit challenging because you think, “Ah, to get into the open heart, it’ll be wonderful. I’ll just sit here. It’ll be fine. I’ll be perfect.” What you don’t realize is that you need to bring all of yourself into your heart, and that includes all of your shadows. All of the people that you met today that showed you parts of yourself that were undeveloped, that showed you your shadow-self, [though] you may not have realized [it,] were doing you a favor or giving you a gift. They were giving you their distorted perceptions of life or of you, and in doing so, they mirrored to you impatience, anger, greediness or selfishness. You can even get down to the level of the thief, murderer or rapist.

That’s still us. We contain all that there is. The point is, we have the choice, not simply to reject the shadow parts of our self, but to begin, at last, to have compassion for them, to accept them, to open our arms to them and say, “I do see you. I do accept you and I want to redeem you. I want to ask you to share your gifts and your powers with me, as a whole person. I want to bring you into my heart.” So, you tell the anger or the impatience, “I love you. I understand. It’s okay, and here’s what I’d like you to do: I know you’re feeling a bit left out and I’d like to invite you to help me; help me be who I am. Anger, come down into the roots of my being and give me the grit to persevere. Impatience, come down into myself and show me what it is not to give up the truth for anything.

You can lift these things into balance so that they work as part of your whole self; so that you’re no longer fighting yourself. You no longer have enemies within yourself. The wolf is no longer at the door. You have invited the wolf in. You have embraced its shaggy hide. You have kissed it. It has closed its teeth to you, and it is now sitting at your side, ready to be your guard, your companion, and your wisdom. When you have finally balanced, loved and accepted these gifts of self, then the next time that you see that mirror of impatience or that mirror of anger mirroring to you, for all it’s worth, you can actually have compassion and you can say, “I understand. I have one of you at home. I have the dragon. I have the wolf. But, the dragon toasts my toast in the morning, and the wolf guards me from all that might want to harm me.”

When you have done this work, you can, at last, come into the open heart. And who is waiting for you in that native land from which you came, and to which you shall go when you enter the larger gates of death, but the Creator! Do you know that song, “Oh, Jesus, thou art standing outside the fast-closed door”? Well, it’s not from outside that the Creator is knocking. It’s from the inside. The Creator is sitting patiently, waiting for us to get in there, sit down, heave a sigh, and say, “So, here I am, at last. Now I can be myself.”

It’s a wonderful moment when you get there. I try to get there in the morning before I ever start the day. For decades, I’ve been doing this. I read from the Bible and the Law of One. I was doing this before the Law of One, but since the Law of One, I really appreciate that material so I include it every day. I’ve been studying it for twenty years, I guess, since it was given. And I take other books that look to me as though they might have some inspiration to share. I read, maybe, five or six different things, little short bits each day, not a lot. The whole thing doesn’t take more than twenty minutes. But, it’s like planting seeds for the day so that, throughout the day, you’re inviting Spirit to show you ways to bring yourself back to center. You’ve got a seed-thought here and a seed-thought there.

I begin to see a pattern a lot of times, even though I never plan what I’m going to read, and I just read the Bible through, and start over, and read the Ra Material through, and start over, and when I finish one book, I pick up another one. I never know what I’m going to get [in a day’s readings] but they seem to offer themes, I mean, Spirit is so clever. It’ll give you a little pattern, a little template for the day and you can just keep going back and going, “Oh, yes,” and then when you’ve done that, then street signs and people that call you and say just this, or just that, you know, they “ping” that seed again and help it to grow a little bit. They’re helping you with your process so that you’re not just living in the everyday world, ever. You’ve enchanted your day. You’ve brought it into your heart and you’ve invited it to teach you. So, coming into the open heart is a wonderful moment, just a crystalline moment. And if you can start the day like that, I just really recommend it. If you can’t take the time to take all of those seed thoughts, then, thirty seconds lying in bed before your feet hit the floor and the craziness begins, you can just ask for help. Just ask for guidance.

The thing about guidance is that free will is absolutely paramount. You do not have to grow. This is not a necessity. The Creator has no homework for you; no tests; nothing like that. The Creator just wants you to be yourself. So, if you can take just that thirty seconds to get in touch with who you are and why you’re here, you’ll change your day, you’ll change your life and you’ll change the world. Because, what you’re doing by inviting Spirit, by inviting guidance in whatever form you call it, is to invite the power and the peace of the one infinite Creator. Certainly, you don’t have any control, but you do have the choice…

[Out on the street people are cheering. Carla laughs.]

…you do have the absolute choice of what you want to celebrate today!

Once you have come into your open heart [with a morning offering] and you start your day, the next chakra up, the blue-ray chakra, is one you can invoke repeatedly. The blue-ray or throat chakra is the chakra of open communication. Now, I was speaking with O 3 earlier because O and I had had a brangle. He had felt that I had infringed on his free will. And so we sat down and we talked about it. And we looked into each other’s eyes and we shared our souls with each other. I am not saying that O was ever pleased with me, but I am saying that I was very pleased with O because he expressed [himself] to me. He looked into my eyes, and I felt such love welling up, [love] that embraced us both in this sacred attempt that is ever failing, but always succeeding because of the attempt and intention to honor each other, just that much.

Shall I ever agree with President Bush? No. Shall some of us ever agree with each other on certain points? Heavens, no! [That is] not necessary. Shall we even agree with ourselves, sometimes, on certain things about which we feel both this way and that way? No. [It is] not important. It’s not important to get perfect. It’s not important to “improve oneself.” What’s important is that we begin to allow ourselves to breathe and bloom and be.

So, in communicating with each other, all we need is honesty. It can be awkward. It can be unsuccessful, as far as our ears or our eyes can hear. [It] doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter. The intention, the heart of it, is everything. If we can bring our whole self to that moment where we’re trying to offer ourselves to someone else in our truth and we speak our truth to power, we’ve done everything that’s necessary. We have no reproach for ourselves, no matter how awkward our words, how bungling our concepts or how little of our deeper feelings we actually even understand. You know how many times with your mate or with your best friend when you’ve come to a deep place and you say, “I don’t know what I’m trying to say here, but I feel it. I feel that there’s something here. I need you to hear me.” And that’s the great thing about the blue-ray chakra. It’s also the chakra of listening, and as J said to me the other day, of hearing somebody else, really hearing what they have to say, [hearing] what’s behind that [need to communicate.]

The remaining chakra that you can really do anything with is the pineal gland or indigo-ray chakra. It’s the chakra in which we do actual work in consciousness. It’s the chakra of the refining fire. The key to this chakra is silence. We need to stop talking. We need to allow the silence to speak to us. I have always found it helpful to include some silent meditation in my morning offering. I have found it helpful to invoke the silence, invoke the Spirit, before I answer the telephone or the door. I have found it helpful to do that centering work of a moment of silence to come back to myself before meeting the faces that I meet, the masks that I meet in society, and so forth.

The way that you approach silence is completely up to you. I really don’t have a preference. I’ve never developed any understanding that one way is better than another. For myself, I sing a lot, and as I sing, I invoke the silence beyond words because when you sing you really can’t think. And that’s, really, the magic of song and the magic of art. The magic of poetry is that you get beyond the prosaic, the words. You come into that native land of myth and archetype which is concept and you begin to tell yourself stories. You begin to feel yourself as a character in these stories.

So, work in consciousness invokes the silence and then uses that silence to go down into the roots of mind, and that’s really what meditation in the Buddhist, or of other paths, in a sense, does. It simply organizes your silence so that you begin to allow the masks of self to be let go so that you drop all of the accoutrements and you become naked. And being metaphysically naked is an extremely helpful thing to do, to let it fall away, all of the clothing of how we were born, where we were born, what our estate in life is, what we do, what church or temple or faith we go to or abide by. Just drop all of that clothing, that outer clothing! Let it drip off of us and become that “radio station” that we actually are.

Now, I say radio station and that sounds a little strange. But if you think about the energy body, the vesica piscis, or the ka—there are lots of different words for it—that essentially crystalline self that we are, it’s like a radio station in that a radio station is a crystal that receives, gives out, and transmutes energy. So what we do is we take in energy, we give out energy, and if we choose to, we can actually, before we give out the energy, take it and bless it, break it open and give it, so that we’re not just running the energy of the infinite Creator through our crystal. We are offering it the intention of our love of that infinite Creator that’s coming through us so that we share with that our bloom, our color, our fragrance, who we are and we send it out into the world. We don’t actually send it; we radiate it. We are just like lighthouses.

And haven’t you known people that were just like that? When you get into their presence, doggone it, you feel better! You just feel better than you did. There’s just something there. You don’t know what that person has. Maybe that person has absolutely nothing. Maybe that person’s a millionaire. But, whatever the person’s apparent estate in life, the truth of that person is that that person has become aware that he, or she, is the light upon the hill, and he’s taken that Biblical bushel basket off of the light and allowed it to shine. So, you never have to reach out to people. You never have to work at it. You’re already doing the work.

[More cheering outside. Carla refers to those cheering.]

Now, see, there they are, being yellow-ray and celebrating. Is it the end of the school-year? I think so, yes. So, let’s celebrate with them.

[Carla cheers]

Way to go, guys! You made it! You got whatever it is that you came to get and now you can go and do the next thing. Thank God, all the tests are over! Tay, yay, yay! Okay! Let’s face it, I remember those days and that’s cause for rejoicing!

We can’t really do anything with the violet ray. The violet ray is just a readout of who we are. It’s the summation of the six chakras before it. It is the gateway to the one infinite Creator. But it’s always open. So, once we get into the open heart, once we’ve balanced the energies of the three basic centers of survival, self and relationships and group relationships, and come into the open heart, then we can start giving and receiving, breathing in and out, and doing this being that we came to do that is our mission.

Okay. I’ve got about three minutes left here before the break, and I would like to spend that time sharing with you four exercises that the Ra group offered [in the Law of One material] to work on how to do this work in consciousness.

The first exercise is to ask yourself: “Where is the love in this moment?”


Where is the love in this moment? This whole room is bursting with it, isn’t it? I can feel it. This is a good group, and I thank you for the sacred space that you have built with all of your beautiful, crystalline energies blending together. I know it’s an honestation to the Creator, and that the Creator is smiling.

Wherever the love is in the moment, and it might be somewhat difficult to find, see if you can locate it. If you can’t locate it out there in the situation, go within, find the love within yourself, and begin to witness to it in whatever way comes to mind. It might be doing the dishes. It might be taking care of a cranky child. Whatever it is, however it hits you, trust yourself. Know that you are getting the guidance that you need. And, for whatever it’s worth, [I would say, have no concern with whether or not you or the world will see that “it worked.” Go ahead and witness to that love.

Exercise two: Look into the eyes of another person. See the Creator.

Exercise three: Look in your mirror, and I’m talking about the medicine chest or the hall mirror, or your vanity table. Look into the mirror. Look into your eyes, not at your image. Don’t look at your face. Don’t look at the color of your eyes. Look into the darkness at the center of your eyes which lets the light through. That is the gateway to your soul. See the infinite Creator. If you stick with this, you will take yourself on many journeys.

Exercise four: Look into the world of nature. See the Creator. And, the example I like to give is highly simplistic but it’s just so expressive of the nature of the one Creator and our creation and our way here, which is to give and receive love, to keep it flowing. And that is the trees, because the trees breathe, just as we do. And what do they need? Carbon dioxide. And what do we breathe out? Carbon dioxide. And what do we need? Oxygen. And what do they breathe out? Oxygen. How tidy is that? When you start looking into the world of nature, you begin, at last, to realize that you are not alone in any way, shape or form. You are part of an endless orchestra that is singing its song and dancing its dance, and the dance is a dance of love. What would love do? Love would dance! Love would love! And love would open its arms and accept the love that is all around it.

Have a great—I won’t call it a tea break—I’ll call it a juice and cookies break. Everything is prepared by hand, is organic, I’m sure, and is made with love, so help yourself. I’ll just hang here, and, you know, have a bite, and everybody share, and we’ll come back to it when it feels right and create the rest of the evening.


[The session is already in progress when recording begins again.]

I’m feeling a blockage. I’m feeling some discomfort, let’s say. I’ve been aware of it now for a week or so. I’ve done the work with you for a number of years, 4 so I know to ask a question and yet I still don’t get any answer. So when I get a discomfort at the throat chakra, what do I do?

Well, you know, it’s not a one-to-one relationship a lot of times in that you can’t just know the truth and the truth shall make you free. It doesn’t always happen like that. You can’t say, “Oh, I see I’ve been blocking because of…” and then immediately your sore throat goes away.

I guess the thing that happens most often to block communication is that you feel unworthy. There’s some reason where you don’t feel that you can speak your truth or you feel that people won’t listen to you. There’s some way in which the damage that’s been done to you as a small child has come home to roost and somehow you just don’t feel that you have the right to express yourself.

So a lot of times what you have to do is to go back into your day and your recent experience and try to start looking for a pattern. It’s good work to do because you’re, sort of, mining this. You’ve given gifts to yourself every time you’ve been hurt and you haven’t dealt with it very well. It’s like it’s buried treasure. It goes down deep within you and it creates this nugget that can be triggered and it can cause you discomfort.

So, what you do is, you go back through your day and you look at your thoughts. [You say to yourself], “Okay, where did I have a reaction that was out of proportion to the actual occurrence? Where was I triggered?” And you go, “Okay, that’s where I was triggered! And then you start going, “Well, where was the last time before that I was triggered like that?” And you start looking for the pattern. And you get down into your own pattern of damage, your pattern of suffering, and the things that you’re carrying.

And you just take a moment to see that motif because it’s like a song that you’ve been singing all of your life and you haven’t really heard it yet. So you want to bring that song up. You want really to hear it. And so you play it to yourself and you try to trace that pattern back and come back to the heart of your suffering in that way, in that one specific motif, or theme, and try to see the you that had that happen, whatever it was. And, a lot of times, with blue-ray blockage, it’s because your parents could not or would not hear you.

Did you say, “hear you”?

Yes, hear you. They wanted to, maybe. Or maybe they just thought that kids don’t have anything good to say, I mean, different people have different damage. Certainly, in my own life, I was listened to but I was also shown off like a prize dog, “See what she can do? She can read early. She can sing early. She’s a prodigy.” You know, “Wonderful, wonderful!” But on the other hand you’re not valued for yourself. You’re valued because you can play a trick. And all your feelings, all your heart, and all your “childness” are, in some way, unappreciated.

For other people, I think, their parents have expectations of them. If you have something that you want to do and you haven’t been able to do it the way you wanted to, then you feel like you haven’t been heard. And eventually you feel like you’re not worthy of being heard and that, therefore, you should never ask for anything of your own or you should never speak your truth. And so, consequently, if you are blocked in that way, then you need to go back into your childhood [memories] and you need to see the point at which you were too young to defend yourself. You were too small to stand up and really be heard.

And then you have to say, “I’m going to hear you right now.” You have to be your own mother and your own father and value yourself. You’re an adult now. You have the power to change things in yourself. You can dig up that hidden nugget of suffering. And when you see all the suffering that you’ve done, you discover that you’ve compressed it. You’ve crystallized it and you’ve made it into a gem. So, you’ve given yourself this beautiful gemlike gift that you’ve made of this suffering.

And when you’ve done the work with it, then you can place it on the altar of the open heart and it becomes part of you, the worthy you, the you that is being heard because you are hearing and valuing yourself.

How many times have you said to yourself, “Oh, look at what you did, you stupid person!”

Don’t do that. Don’t talk to yourself like that. That’s not a good voice. Say, “Oh, you’re being human again, aren’t you, you goofy person.”


“Well, there it is.” So then you just go on, but you’ve honored yourself. And, I think, as you do that, then you begin to open up. No matter what comes at you, honoring yourself and trusting yourself is really important because there are bullies all around us. Maybe they don’t know they’re being bullies but they want to manipulate your feelings and to hold your attention. And you really do have the choice to say, “No thank you. I will not be bullied. I will not be managed. I will not be false to myself. I will find a way to be loving but I’m going to remain honest.” And, I think, gradually, you begin to open up the metaphysical part of the blue ray. As you do that, then you can begin to experience some healing in the physical.

[This is] certainly not a complete answer or anything but then what do I know?

What’s on everybody’s mind tonight? What would you like to talk about?

Do you use the term, ego?

Ego? Yes.

I was wondering how you look at that, how you experience the ego. [This is] in connection with what you had said, that when one does not feel at home enough in oneself because of different examples that I can give you, then sometimes one’s voice becomes weaker. One feels it. One’s ego does not come through strongly enough. You know what I’m saying?

I think so, and just keep pulling me back if I haven’t got it yet, but I’ll start with it and then we’ll see where we are.

Ego is a Latin word meaning “I.” In terms of the Ra material, the Ra basically look at the ego as the personality shell. It is, as are all things in this illusory density, an illusion in that it is not a true expression of who we are. It is what we chose to pull through into incarnation from a vast resource that I call the soul stream.

We sat down before incarnation and picked our relationships, our gifts, the difficulties that we wanted to face in order to help us to grow, the gifts that we wanted to give in terms of our outer talents, and so forth, and we created what I call a personality shell. It’s a husk, really, and just like the seed husk, it basically needs to break open in order for us to grow.

But, let’s look at the name of the Creator. In the Old Testament, the name of the Creator is, “Yod-He-Vau-Heh” which is “I am that I am,” which is another form of “ego.” [It is] another language, but it’s the same thing. So, basically, what you’re trying to do is to use this incarnative experience to break open the husk of the personality shell so that you can free yourself from its limitation and free the voice within that personality shell to speak with a larger voice. As you are able to come more and more into an awareness of who you are, you become more and more aware that who you are is far beyond this personality.

It’s not that you lose your individuality. Indeed, your individuality is enhanced. A flower, when it has broken its seed and has put down its roots and started reaching towards heaven, hasn’t lost its identity. It’s begun to express its identity. A butterfly is the result of the pupa and the larva going through all of the breaking open and discarding of the husks of the former self in order that the greater self may be expressed.

And, of course, in terms of the butterfly, that only happens after a cocoon is created. It creates for itself a time of gestation. And in that time of gestation, the new being is born, and then the butterfly flaps its wings and flies away with great beauty. It didn’t take any thought for that. It’s not that it sat there and knitted itself or something, but that’s the way it happens. You bless and break your experience before you offer it up into the atmosphere of growth.

So when you feel that, somehow, your energies have waned, in some way, the thing to do is to move into that space where you have real faith that all is well, and that what you need for growth, at that moment, is going to come to you very naturally, effortlessly and everything is attracted to you as it needs to be and you are ready, at the time of the cocooning, to enter into becoming a larger version of yourself. A lot of times, you do have to give yourself the cocoon. You have got to give yourself a little time.

And a lot of people will express this in terms of suffering. They’ll say, “I’m having a dark night of the soul. I’m having a terrible time. I’m feeling depressed,” and so forth. But, what’s happening is that that’s forming a cocoon because you’re withdrawing a little bit and you’re coming into your own essence and asking for comfort, asking for guidance, asking for growth, but not from the outside in: from the inside out.

So, you rest in that small place within yourself where you’re safe and in the lap of the Creator and you can do your work. And you invite the silence, and you say, “Help me to grow.” And then, as you emerge from that place, you can feel the power moving into you and you can feel your authenticity. But, you just have to give yourself that time of transformation.

And you’d be surprised, if you ask for help at that time, what will come in. You’ll pick up the next book you pick up and open it to a page, and there is a seed-thought that is going to help you more than you could have imagined possible. One of the books I wrote, A Wanderer’s Handbook, I wrote with that exact thing in mind. So that people, in a time of crisis, could just take it and crack it open, at random, and go, “Okay, what’s on this page for me today?”

[Inaudible comment.]

It works. I’ve used it myself.


Would you want to talk about that?

Well, [I had just lost my partner, and I used the book like that.] It fell open to page 206 and the quote at the top of page 206 starts out, “Here is how to be joyful…” And that just made the hair stand right up on the back of my neck.

But, it’s what you needed to hear, at that time.

Yes, sometimes we do lose our voice. We lose our authenticity. And is it any surprise that we do, with everything that’s coming at us? It’s a rushing, clanging, banging, ragtag world. And we have no control, really. We don’t know who’s going to call us or who’s going to come to the door or what’s going to come up. And the best we can do is respond.

Sometimes our responses just don’t feel like they have any force but that’s just the beginning. That’s not the way it has to be. That’s the way we perceive it at that moment. And then we just come into that present moment and start to become aware of the earth that is spreading out beneath our feet and the world of nature around us and ourselves, as citizens of eternity, and begin to come into a center where we no longer feel powerless but we feel empowered.

Do you wanna go further with that?

No. The spirit of man is the candle of the Lord.

“The sprit of man is the candle of the Lord.” That’s beautiful! And we have a candle right here.

[Carla indicates the altar decorations.]

If we can move into the flame, if we don’t blink and if we don’t shrink and we move into that flame of transformation, then the light within us will spiral us right up and out of it and we’ll shed that light. It will begin to radiate. And, interestingly enough, physical science shows us that one candle can be seen for something like a mile, just one little candle in the darkness. That’s how powerful that little bit of light is. But in terms of physics and string theory, once the light is out [there], you know, once that moment has passed, once that event has occurred, the light is streaming forever, literally, infinitely. And so, every present moment that we are is like a message to all of Creation that will never go away infinitely.

You promised us, this evening, to learn to love better. Could you explain that a bit, how we can learn to love better?

We all express love because it’s all that there is. We express it, perhaps poorly, perhaps well, but no matter what we express, it is love.

There is an infinite degree to which we can develop our awareness of that love. So, learning to love better is the same thing as beginning to learn to know yourself better.

We were talking, M and I, earlier, about how to love is to understand. His mother used to tell him that you can’t love someone if you don’t understand them. There’s a lot of wisdom in that because when you can bring an understanding or true compassion about another person’s point of view into your consciousness, then when you look them in the eye and you hear them and relate to them, you’re bringing that understanding with you, so that you’re not just one will that’s up against another will [with the attitude of] is it my way or is it your way? You’re understanding that you’re a soul and that that person is a soul and that you’ve walked a long way in your moccasins but you have not walked in their moccasins yet. So, you try to get into their shoes. And you walk with them in understanding how they came to this moment with you. And then, as you understand it, you have real compassion for that person, and so you’re not just trying to get your way anymore. You are a bit of energy and this person is a bit of energy and you’re sharing this space. And you do the best you can to make it an energy exchange.

Think of how many teenagers say, “Oh, mom, you don’t understand me!” Of course a parent makes a huge effort to understand her child that is now a teenager. And they cannot be understood because there are things working or maybe it’s just too difficult. You express it very beautifully, that it becomes an exchange.

Well, let’s go back to O and me. 5 You know, I told him, I said, “O, I know you’re a short person. You’re living in a place where there are a lot of tall people.” Of course, we were coming up to a wedding and there was nobody that had any time for O. O was not what that particular occasion was about and he was getting no attention. He normally gets a great deal of attention. He’s adored by mother, father and stepfather and all the extended family. But on this occasion, mom wanted him to go brush his teeth because we had to get ready. He just wanted to be heard. He wanted some attention and nobody had the time.

And, really, there was no opportunity in that day, in that three-day period, for that matter, for him to get the attention he needed, and really craved, I mean, it was like craving sunlight and it was being denied him. His mother’s sunlight was shining on other people and not on him. It wasn’t about brushing his teeth. It wasn’t about what was apparently happening. It was about him feeling nurtured and nourished and loved.

Well, of course, he was loved.

[Carla addresses O.]

And, in a way, you knew that. You knew that you were being loved. In a way, you were aware that it was a good idea to brush your teeth.

But that wasn’t what you were trying to express, was it? You were just needing a little attention. So, in my part in it, I tried to get his attention and get him to do what his mom wanted and he really needed not to hear anybody, not me, not anybody, and when we talked, the reason I said I loved him but I can’t say that he really was particularly fond of me was because he really couldn’t allow the truth of that deeper situation to penetrate. Because he needed to defend his space. He needed to say, “No, you didn’t ask me to leave. You didn’t ask me to go brush my teeth.” But, basically, of course, I had asked you to brush your teeth. I had asked you to leave. And you really needed not to hear me.

And I understand that because I’ve been a short person and I’ve felt just like you. I mean, gosh, O, I remember, one time, I did a performance. I danced, and I had the star role. I danced anger and I danced joy and it was my own creation. It was a modern dance and I had a special dress and I practiced and practiced and I’d done it.

And on the way home, my parents drove me into the parking lot of a Howard Johnson’s, which is a place where you get ice cream in the United States. I thought, “Oh, they appreciated my performance and they’re going to give me an ice cream!” But, no, they were taking a shortcut home. I was never told I did a good job. I was never told I was beautiful. I was never told that my dancing was lovely. I was simply taken for granted and told to wash my face and brush my teeth and go to bed. I didn’t get any respect whatsoever. I still remember that.

How old were you then?

I was ten. And these things stick with you. But you just have to heal them. Whatever damage I did to you, you’ll have to dig that up when you’re old enough that you’re also a big person and you have the responsibility for yourself. And then you can give yourself the attention you didn’t get that day. But that’s how you love better. You try to bring the other person into the equation and not relate to people by your belief system.

Have you ever known people who are just the best people in the world but they’ve got to save your soul? It is the most distressing thing because they’re sitting there and they’re saying, “I love you. I want you to go to heaven, and therefore you must believe this, and this, and this, and this…”

Try not ever to share information unless you’re asked. Just relate to people from the heart. “How was your day? What’s going on with you? What’s on your mind?” See what you can do to enter into that equation in a loving way. If they don’t want to know what various things that you might have to share, then that’s fine, they don’t need to know. That may not be their truth. It may not be their path. Just share yourself.

Does the chakra of the heart have to be open?


But, it is also the wisdom of the head you need.

Well, I think that they have to play back and forth. You have to use both the consciousness of the great ape, which is analytical and problem-solving, and so forth, and the consciousness of the heart, which is feeling and being and intuition and sensing into the deeper nature…

Do you see the chakra as a bit like the sun with the planets?

Yes, I do. I think each one is like a sun. I’ve [also] seen chakra systems in which each chakra is a different kind of flower which blooms in a certain way. I’ve also seen systems where each chakra is a certain crystal which has certain physical characteristics of reflecting the light, the way it breaks and how many facets it has, the way that it breaks open, and so forth. When you’re looking at these images or structures, you’re not looking at something that is literal, although you can find literal analogs in nature. You’re looking for ways to think that will open to you the mystery of yourself because, really, we begin and end in mystery.

But I do think it’s a mystery of a certain kind. I think the word “love” is so badly overused that there’s no way we can ever redeem it, really. But it’s the only word we’ve got. The Greeks had about thirty-seven words for love and that gave you more of a drawing board and palette of colors to use. But we just have the word love and so what you have to do is just sense deeper and deeper into it, get beyond the first layers of love and start realizing how profound an energy love really is. In the system of the Law of One, love is the energy that created all that there is. The nature of the infinite Creator is unconditional love.

In the beginning…

In the beginning was the Word.

[The Word] is love. God is love.

Right, and when John wrote that gospel, he used the word “Logos.” That’s a word that the Ra group uses. In the beginning was the Logos, and that Thought created light, created infinite energy. And that infinite energy created all of the different degrees of rotation and the different levels of the atoms.

Every cell is the Thought of love with light creating it in a certain way so that it does certain things. Every cell in our body is infinitely aware of the Creator. It is made of love which has been impressed into light, and that light has created energy fields. So, basically, what we are is energy fields. We think we’re sitting on chairs on the floor but we’re not. If you look at one cell, one atom of a cell, you’ve got the nucleus which is like a pea and then you’ve got a very large playing field here, and at the very top bleacher, you’ve got a little grain of sand and that’s the first electron. The rest is space.

So, when I say that we are living in an illusion, I mean it literally. What’s creating the ability for me to sit on the chair without sinking through it and the chair to sit on the floor without the chair sinking through the floor is that each type of structure has agreed upon having this energy field of this certain type so that we are able to have this experience and we are able to move through time in this physical body, use this physical body to gather experience and then use our minds and our hearts and our spirits to work with the harvest that we’ve gathered with these bodies.

And so we basically are creating for ourselves a very subjective version of the infinite Creator living and breathing through our bodies. And the wonderful thing about that is that, when we forgive someone, they are forgiven; when we love someone, they are loved. We have the choice and we have the power and nobody can take it away, no governmental system, nothing from the outside. We can do this in prison. We can do this lying flat in bed when we can’t move because we’re too sick. There’s nothing this side of death that can keep us from being ourselves, from loving, and from being the light of the world.

I had a question yesterday night in Bath. There was this kid that had been born with… what’s the word?

He had cerebral palsy.

Cerebral palsy, and he was unable to move. He was only able to use his eyelids. Interestingly enough, his dad is a very advanced, technically sophisticated scientist, and he has created ways for him to communicate, working with the eyelids. Working with technology, very slowly, he can create words and sentences and write down his thoughts.

This child is eight, right?

The child is eight. And, of course, this man has had to give up his entire life and center his life around taking care of this child because the child can’t move. It has to be moved and fed and bed sores have to be avoided and all kinds of things. But, this child has become a healer, and by his being, he heals those around him.

And he says that’s why he came into the world and he made that choice, very consciously, because his lesson was a lesson of being, pure being. It’s a tough lesson. Most of us get to do more and be less and it’s easier because the lessons of being are very harsh in the way they feel. Because getting to the heart of yourself can feel very harsh. There’s a lot of change and transformation as things fall away and simplify. So, this child was a wonderful example of pure being.

Carla, I feel it’s very clear, how you put it, that the love is always there, but it is our ability to express it, isn’t it?

Yes, it is.

That’s a learning.

It’s endless. I mean, the lessons don’t end. You can’t just come to a realization and say, “Aha! Now, I have it!” You know, the old Buddhist truth is that first there is a mountain, and then there is no mountain. Then there’s a mountain, then there is no mountain. It goes back and forth.

You have your gifts. You have your moments of realization and you go, “I see the perfection. This is a wonderful pattern. Everything is well. This is fine.” But then, you go back into the valley where you live your life and you don’t see that air anymore. You see the mountain, again. So, you climb the mountain again and you might climb that mountain for a long time or the next “Aha” experience might be later that day. It just depends on what’s happening in your life and what your process is like. Sometimes, it’s really slow. Sometimes, it feels like it’s going to go on forever and you’re never, ever gonna have that moment of, “WOW, this is great!” But, it does come. It really does, and it’s like, wait for it, man, wait for it! Patience must be invoked.

Carla, what you were saying earlier about how the gifts of people or situations give by reflecting the mirror? I think, ultimately, the aim is to conquer love and understanding and to get to the top of that mountain and think, okay, I’ve done it, but then there is a continuous revelation somehow, maybe, of the shadow parts revealing themselves. I find that a lot of the time, what really makes us resist love is what we see in a reflection, some shadow aspect which might be revealing itself to us

Well, let me tell you a story that goes along those lines and see if this is where you’re going with it.

We have a community. Spirit sent Don and me to each other back in the 60s and Jim, back in the 70s to make three of us. Then we lost Don in the 80s and it was just Jim and me in spiritual community, very conscious of that, but a very small community, just two people. It looked a lot like a marriage, although we were constantly aiming for transformation in each other’s companionship and that lent that different kind of energy to it.

But in 2003, Spirit began sending Jim and me more people and we ended up with seven people in our house forming, willy-nilly, a spiritual community. And, the question was, how you use this incredibly powerful hall of mirrors to help each other to grow. I quickly came to the conclusion that the best you could hope for was to have honest and loving mirrors around you.

You were going to have to do the work!

About a year ago, we were sent a woman. She was a wonderful part of the community. She made tremendous contributions in terms of physical and mental work, organizing things, re-imagining things and pointing things out to us that needed to be done. She was just tremendous.

But she got to the point where all she could do was talk about how chaotic our life was. She kept saying, “We’ve got to stop this chaos. I can’t live like this. I just can’t live like this.” She’d get up at six in the morning ready to work a twelve-hour day. She wasn’t at all lazy. But, she’d want to organize her day. She’d say, “By eight-o-clock in the morning, my day is blown, and the rest of the day, I can’t even get back to what I wanted to start with, much less to finish the day’s pattern.”

Well, this has been happening to me for the last thirty years so I didn’t care much about it, but she couldn’t take it. So, she mirrored back to me and to everybody in the house silence. She shut down. And for the last two months that she was in the house, she didn’t say a word. I once asked her how she was doing, in fact, and she wouldn’t look at me. She just shut me out completely.

So, I thought about that all night. I cried about it. I realized she needed me not to be there. She needed the mirror to go off. So, I stopped looking at her. I stopped thinking of her as a person. I put cotton batting around myself in a nice armor of light and then I put cotton batting around her in a nice armor of light and we were just these two very slippery, round things that were sliding past each other in this house. And so, instead of her rejection and her shame and her guilt, which was what I was feeling in the mirror, I didn’t get that and she didn’t have to get the truth that I was showing to her. So, the shadows stopped coming and, I think, that her last two months in the house were probably easier because of the work I did.

But, she was showing me a difficult part of myself. I’ve never been damaged the way she was. She had had all kinds of sexual molestation. She was never in a birth home; she was tossed from pillar to post in a variety of foster homes and she’d been abused by different authority figures in her youth before she was old enough to defend herself. So, she came to the group with a tremendous need to control her environment and she could not find it. And so she started mirroring out, by this silence, the damage of her childhood, the molestation, the invasion, the encroachment, the trespass.

And I really came to appreciate that gift because I’ve never been abused. In my life, I’ve certainly been overused! My parents used me tremendously. I was doing things way before I should have been able to do them; baby-sitting at seven, cooking at ten, running the household at fourteen. But I was valued and honored and no man has ever touched me or…

Actually, somebody tried to rape me once when I was eighteen and I just looked at him, I said, “What are you doing?” And he put his head down on the steering wheel of the car in which he had locked me to rape me and he cried. And he kept saying, “I’m so sorry. You’re good. You’re really good.” I was going, “It’s okay, buddy. It’s all right. You’re going to meet somebody. You’re going to have somebody of your own.”

I don’t think that the mirrors go away but you have got to look right in the mirror. You can’t look away and you can’t blink. And what people give you is, a lot of times, really distorted. It’s like being at a carnival and going into the fun house. Do you have those here, where every mirror makes you too big or too small or wonky, crooked, whatever? You just have to say, “Okay. That’s a heck of a mirror. Let’s take it on.” You just enter into that moment fearlessly and let it work on you and let you work on it.

And our time is up, I’m sorry to say.

I’d just like to thank you for your time. We have to return the room at ten o’clock. So, I’d just like to say, for those of us that need to leave, then we should leave if you must go. For the rest of us who still have questions, if you’re willing, Carla…


…that we give ourselves another ten minutes.

There’s not too much to do, actually. It’s about ten minutes of packing up.

Shall we do a last tuning to say goodbye?

All right. How would you like to do that?

I thank you. Thank you for being here.

Oh, well, thank each of you. It’s just been such a pleasure. My heart goes out to you at this moment. I just thank you so much for sharing this time with me and giving me a chance to share my humble thoughts. If you only knew how beautiful you are. Just take that with you, please. Thank you. I honor you.

[A question about an attendee named B.]

B was part of the wedding. My first day here was on the tenth. And on the tenth and the eleventh—the wedding was on the twelfth—I chopped and chopped and chopped and plucked leaves and plucked more leaves and B came over and cooked it all up into this wonderful Iranian herbal dish that we had at the wedding feast, so, that’s B. And she came quite a ways.

What was your question?

Why are we here on this planet? Why aren’t we in another galaxy, on another planet?

That’s a deep ontological question! When we were preparing these boards today, O helped a lot. And the first question was: What is love? As I prepared this, I wanted to do my bit of preparing for you. And O came this morning and O’s first question was: Why are we here? He had these ten questions: What is God? Where is God? And he was finding all these deep ontological questions, really good ones! I thought, wow!

Carla, today, spoke about being. Remember? And she said, one of the things people quite often ask is, “Why are we here? What am I supposed to do?”

And she said, we find out what we’re supposed to do, to be a policeman, or an engineer, or teacher, or whatever. And, also, one of the reasons we’re here, while we’re here, is just to be. You know, like the flower that’s here and its purpose is just to be. The purpose of the rock is to be a rock. And one of the purposes of human beings is just to be, and be who you are, to be.

But, why are we actually on this planet?

Okay. Well, let’s take that on. My perception of that is that, as sparks of the Creator, we went through many densities, many planetary centers of being, and we sifted through and chose the planetary group that we wish to bloom as part of.

And then we dedicated ourselves for a tremendously long length of time.

But, at the very beginning, we didn’t just choose the Creation of the Father, we chose planet Earth. We chose the entity, Gaia. Gaia wants to be born now into fourth density and we were drawn to develop with this earth and to graduate into fourth density with this earth. And so, that’s why we picked this particular center of energy to share our energy with.

I think it was very conscious on our part and it expresses a very deep part of our metaphysical nature which is that we are the co-Creator. According to the Ra group, the organization of the Creation is, first, there’s the Logos: the Thought of love. That Thought has a first distortion, and the first distortion is unconditional free will. The first distortion is free will. You know that phrase, “The wind bloweth where it listeth and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.”

Sorry, what do you mean by distortion? I don’t quite understand the word, distortion, in relation to free will.

In the beginning is sheer infinity, but it’s intelligent and it wants to know itself. So, the first distortion is unconditional free will, total choice, how will I know myself?

But I don’t understand.

Well, infinity contains all things so the first distortion of infinity would be the first law that bounded infinity.

But, why do you use the word, distortion? Isn’t that just a progression?

Well, the reason that they use the word distortion, and the reason I hew to it, is that I think it’s important to realize that perfection is not what we’re after; that everything is a distortion; that the truth is mystery-shrouded so that we stop trying to understand. This is not the density of understanding. The next density is the density of understanding.

Well, I think that the word, distortion, today, is used in a different context. I think it’s just the word distortion that I stumble on a bit. For me, maybe, it’s like a metamorphosis, like a when you go from one aspect of time into another aspect, it’s like natural progression. It’s a natural progression. So, out of that, something new has arisen. I think they use the word, distortion where, in fact, it’s something that is not the same as the origin, but it is an aspect of the origin. It has changed the process.

Well, yes, it’s limited itself in a certain way and shaped itself in a certain way by the choices that it makes. So, free will is the very first thing and, in total free will, infinity chooses how it’s going to shape itself to learn about itself. And the first choice of free will is that concept of unconditional love, or Logos.

And from that creative Thought, everything is created that is created. The light is shaped by that Thought as love shapes light in all of its different ways. And each Creation, according to the Ra group, has developed a little bit more knowledge about itself so that Thought of love is a little bit more informed. And the light is, therefore, a little bit more informed and the Creation is, therefore, different. So, we will come to a different Creation next time, but we’ll still be sparks of that one infinite Thought of love. That’s the way of it.

And we’ve earned the right to be here. We paid dearly for this incarnation and experience. I don’t want to waste a minute because time is short. You only get so many breaths and then it’s done. As long as I’m at the party, man, I want to dress and I want to boogie!

And, after we’re blown up, we’ll have our next adventure. You see, you’re focusing on something that gives you fear. But there’s no truth or reality to it that lasts more than a second and if, indeed, we were blown up, then we’d all be sitting here, going, “So, we have entered into a different environment. Do you recognize where we are?” And we’ll have people that come to us and say, “Well, let me help you,” and, culturally determined, you know, some people think that Jesus is gonna come and he does, you know, or angels are gonna come and they do. But, there’s always guidance. There’s always help, and our consciousness just goes on from age to age, and from moment to moment. But, the important one is not when we get blown up in four billion years. The important one is now.


Have you noticed how often you ask questions to which you are not interested in the answers as much as in the play of the question? So, I would say to you to play with that question. Play with it, and play with it some more, and keep playing with it, and see if you can start getting into the patterns of your own thoughts. Because you are young but you are wise.

I think it’s time to start packing up.

[Evening ends.]

  1. Our venue was the town hall which was on the High Street, the main street of the village, and it happened to be a night when all the new graduates of the secondary school were celebrating their graduation. From time to time the noise level became a factor indeed. 

  2. This system is the body of work known as the Law of One, channeled by those of Ra and those of other groups within the Confederation of Planets in the Service of the Infinite Creator. 

  3. O is P’s son, a nine year old young man. 

  4. P spent three years in Louisville in the mid-1990s, going to school at the University of Louisville and coming to weekly L/L Research meditations. 

  5. O and Carla had had a disagreement on the day of the wedding between P and her groom and O and Carla had then taken some time to have a conversation about that disagreement.