[This L/L Research Reunion and Conference was held at the Wooded Glen Retreat Center in southern Indiana near Louisville, Kentucky, on August 19 through 21, 2005. Carla gave the talk on August 20, Saturday night, after supper, and immediately after Part I of the speech.]

We’ve talked about the densities already a little bit. Very briefly, the octave of densities is:

  • First density which is red ray, elements, chemicals, earth, air, wind and fire;
  • Second density which is plants and animals;
  • Third density, which is us;
  • Fourth density, the density of love and understanding;
  • Fifth density, the density of wisdom;
  • Sixth density, the density of unity, or the balancing of love and wisdom;
  • Seventh density, the Ra call it the density of foreverness, where you start gaining spiritual gravity and begin being pulled back into the Creator as if you’re a black hole. And then of course:
  • The octave for the Creator. The Creator’s heart beats again and we start all over. We have a whole new creation.

I review the densities because I believe they are reflected in our chakras. And I believe that it’s important to realize in working with who we are, exactly what kind of animal we’re working with. We’re not just working with this second-density, great-ape body which has a biocomputer which works to solve problems.

Your mind is not your consciousness. Your consciousness is not your mind. They are two different animals entirely. One is in space/time. The other is in time/space. When you are thinking in terms of solving problems you are not in the metaphysical universe and most of us do not spend enough time there. I certainly don’t.

Our mind controls our body. The body is the creature of the mind. But the energy body, the form-making body, the electrical body, the rainbow body I like to call it sometimes, controls both the mind and the body.

So if you’re trying to work with your mind, it’s like working with lower-level management. You’re not going to get too far. If you want to create changes in consciousness within yourself, you need to start working with the form-maker body, with the form-maker mind, with that energy body, with the rainbow of energies within you. It has the factory specs on your body, your mind, and your spirit. It has the defaults that you want to default back to.

Thinking in terms of the mind and the problem-solving biocomputer pulls you out of your energy body and into folly, every time. So it’s really, really helpful to become aware that the creature that you are is controlled not by your conscious mind but by this incredible energy body that is linked to the cosmos, to every star that was in the sky when we were born, to all of our guidance systems and the extended families of those guidance systems as they go back to the inner planes and the outer planes. This is where our power is. This is where we’re really connected.

And so I want to talk about the chakras. And it’s not because, “Oh, the chakras are really pretty! The chakras are very interesting!” Well, it’s not that. It’s where the magic lies. It’s where the power lies. It’s where we can do the work.

Okay, the basic situation is, we have a system of interpenetrating and hierarchically related shells of energy. Each organ is a shell of energy and it’s made up of cells of a certain specialized type that have all agreed to work together within that organ. So you get something called a kidney. Every cell in the kidney knows exactly what it’s supposed to do. You could take one kidney cell out of a body and it will reproduce other kidney cells and, interestingly enough, eventually will holographically recreate the human body.

There is the knowledge in every cell of what that system is supposed to be like. What is holding those cells and that energy system back is our perception of that energy system and its capabilities. For instance, you know when you’ve seen hypnotized people have a needle run through them and they don’t feel it, they don’t bleed, they don’t have a scar. Their perception has been that because of the skill of the hypnotherapist, there was no needle, there was no hole, and everything’s fine. That’s the way perception works. If you can change your perceptions you can change the way your body works. This is very powerful information.

I think to a certain extent, I’m living proof of that because I was born and the doctor said, “She’s going to die within the first two weeks of life. Her eye’s turned into her head. She’s sustained a tremendous amount of brain damage. Her amygdale is all screwed up. She doesn’t have any link between long-term and short-term memory and in short, you are not going to have a daughter for very long.”

When I was two years old I had rheumatic fever. Every organ in my body including the heart was damaged and my parents were told, “She will not live to go to grade school.”

My kidneys failed when I was thirteen. Then the doctors said, “She won’t finish high school.”

I just turned sixty-two. And I am in better health than I’ve ever been. Thank you, Lord. And why? Because one of the things that happened to me when I died when I was thirteen—probably very formative for me—was that I had a little talk with the Creator, or at least a voiceover that was speaking for the Creator, or some aspect of the Creator. And the conversation went something like this.

“Well, here you are. You didn’t seem to like that lifetime very much. You did take a lot on your plate. And so, we don’t usually do this, but we’ll give you a choice. You can come back and have two lifetimes, because you took way too much on your plate, or you can go back to the life you just left and you can try to do everything all in one lifetime.”

Well, I was thirteen years old. I was not having a good time. I was not a happy camper. And I thought to myself, “Two childhoods? I don’t think so. I’m going to do it in this incarnation or bust.” So I said, “Please, please, I want to be back in my body.”

I was immediately back in my body, the doctors looking over me. I looked up and there’s this ring of concerned faces trying to get my heart started again.

So I think my first incarnational job was done when Don died and the Ra Material was finished. My second job is just starting, and that is that part having to do with L/L Research, in its phase where it becomes a community, and not just a community designed to be a purveyor of information or an organic farm or a political entity that has power or anything else, but simply to be a group of people whose intention is to harmonize the densities, enlarging that point of view to the point where we are actually pioneers.

I am so enthused. I am so excited. I can’t wait to wake up and hit the day. I wake up and go, “I get another day! I get to go to the party! What am I going to wear? Who’s going to be there? Who’s going to write? Who’s going to call?” I’m an enthusiastic, engaged person. I’m so lucky to be sixty-two years old and like a kid with a great, big, beautiful, shiny toy.

And that toy is an idea. I don’t even know what that idea is. I’m totally at sea here. I have no idea what we’re doing. But I do know that it’s something we’ve never thought of yet, and that we have to think of together. This is something, you know, I can only do so much by myself. And everybody in this room—we can do a lot by ourselves—but as a group? Who was it? T1, you did the figure, and it came out billions. If our intentions are pure, and we are not brought to nothing by the level of insincerity in our intention, we as a group have a tremendous ability.

That ability is not to spite things and to change things—that kind of thing. That’s third-density thinking. Fourth-density thinking is more along the lines of what I was talking about with reassuring, calming and sharing compassion, loving, not trying to control but being willing to take the chaos for what it is and just say, “I love it. This is what I came here to love, and I will love this. I will not quit looking at it. I will not turn my face away from anything that I see, but I will try to penetrate the images, the masks, that I see and get to a love in the moment.”

Okay. Red ray issues. It’s time for the Gaia Meditation.

D was telling me about a visualization that she and her dear husband have come across lately. And it’s funny because T2 left for the night because he was so exhausted, he was falling asleep in his chair, so he went home to sleep. But back in, I guess, about 74 or 75, when T2 started with the group, he loved silent meditation. Everybody else loved channeling. Everybody was learning channeling at that time. We had a big channeling group. We were meeting every night because I was learning to channel at that time. But on Tuesday nights there was silent meditation at T2’s house. And we would go over there and that’s where we got that image that I will use for this. So, let us take a moment and I will share this image with you. I think it’s very similar to D’s experience.

[The group stirs around and prepares for meditation.]

I talked before about the energy going around the circle and us forming the temple of light. The difference in this imagery is simply that you start out realizing that we’re all looking at unconditional love that is sitting in a ball of light in the middle of the room. And we’re all sending into that ball of light our love and our light. And we’re receiving from that ball of light our love and our light. And as that light grows, because of all of our great, honest attention to love and our willingness to be loved and to accept love unconditionally as well as to give it, we begin to set an intention about life.

So let us simply look at that symbol of the love and the light of the infinite Creator. And at the end of, say, three or four minutes together, let us release that intention to Gaia, and let her feel the depth and the sincerity and the purity of our thankful, grateful love. Let us find a way to calm and reassure our mother. I will signal that moment of release.

[Silent meditation.]

At this time we release this intention and request that it go back to the Source from which it came, carrying our love, our light, and our hopes for planet Earth and for peace within ourselves and the world.

And that ball just swells in us all, whoosh! Wonderful. Thank you very much for that. How wonderful.

Okay. I was thinking about the fact that, on my fingers, the red-ray finger is the ring finger. 1 And I thought, how appropriate, for a lot of us are wanderers and it’s difficult. The wedding of wanderer and Earth is difficult sometimes because you remember better ways, better times. You blame the planet because it’s not a fifth-density planet or a sixth-density planet and there’s more strife, more chaos, more obvious difficulty here.

We are people of Earth, people. We are not wanderers anymore. “Wanderers” is a passé thing. It’s helpful to know you’re a wanderer in terms of figuring yourself out. Once you’ve figured yourself out you’ve got to realize we married this body. And we’re not getting out of here alive. We’re going to get out of here by walking the steps of light. And we have a test to pass. That test has nothing to do with fifth density or sixth density. It has to do with the ability to love and be loved. That’s it.

So, see if you can find somebody in whose footsteps you can follow, or an idea in whose footsteps you can follow, that speaks to you of unconditional love and of caring for people, not in a way that destroys yourself but in a way that benefits a larger picture other than just you and your immediate tribe.

Supposedly the red ray is about survival. But I think there’s more to it than that. Your vital energy is red ray. That very powerful gatekeeper is red ray. If you don’t like this place, you’ve already blocked red ray. And how much unconditional love are you going to be able to take in through the soles of your feet, coming up through your red-ray chakra and moving up into your energy body? Not a lot.

So basically you’ve got to start loving this Earth, and loving yourself, and loving being human, and getting into your body, getting earthed, getting grounded. I told my husband today while taking a shower, I said it was wonderful doing this transformative work in England. It was great. I knew it was all about getting into this incarnation at last, accepting and embracing my humanity instead of going, “Well, I’m sixth density, you know. This is very difficult for me here.”

Well, pfui! I’m here. This better not be too difficult for me because this is where I am. And I’m going to love it. Well, I think I really made some progress. I think I really did some transforming there. But I no longer smell a little like wildflowers under my arms. I stink. It’s like, “Oh, my God, now I know what everybody’s talking about. Body odor is a terrible thing!”

[The audience chuckles.]

Well, you know, from being this wonderful little wildflower that’s running on sixth-density energy, I’m now running on third-density energy. But the consequences are that I now have an actual physical body. And I’m looking for a really good deodorant.


But I’m so happy with myself. I don’t care if I stink. It’s a success story for me. That’s really what red ray is about. I mean, you can think about it being about sexuality, but really, sexuality is just beginning at red ray. It moves all the way up through. You can take anything and you can lift it by the way you think about it.

So, you know, sexuality isn’t a red-ray thing, down there, basic, and all that. Sexuality can become sacred. Anything can become sacred. It’s all in how you think about it.

I’m going to move on because it’s time to quit for the night and I really want to get these three basic chakras talked about. We’re going this far tonight, I promise, no further.

The social finger is orange ray. And let me tell you, it really is where you get social, a lot. I mean, red ray is at the very base, between your legs, the regenerative organs. The orange ray is in the gut. And if you’ve ever been dumped, you know where you hurt, right? You feel like you’ve been kicked in the gut.

We’ve probably all been there. I certainly have. My first marriage didn’t take. I was left seven times. It didn’t feel that good. I was pretty well dumped right off. That’s planet Earth for you. It wasn’t my fault. On the other hand it wasn’t not my fault. It was what happened. I resolved the issue not from that level but from up here, by putting myself in my first husband’s shoes, seeing things from his perspective and seeing in what kind of pain he was, forgiving him and realizing he meant me absolutely no harm. He certainly harmed me, but he was not intending to.

I’ve been working with my doll, Annsy. She’s a Raggedy Ann doll. I call her Annsy Pansy—Annsy P for short. I take her everywhere. She’s in my [motel] room. I took her to London with me, took her all around. I wanted her to have a good time, to come to my party with me. And my child [self] now feels very loved, and I’m a much better person for it.

I don’t know what you need to do in order to get it out there where you can deal with it, instead of letting that wounded child live in there, crying forever. But work on your orange ray with yourself, because it’s yourself that has to heal first before you can be a healing influence on others.

Yellow ray is up in here. If you’ve ever had power struggles with somebody at work, you know that this is where you get the ulcers, this is where you get the stress. The family dinners! Who was it, one of the speakers, was talking about the agony of family dinners. There is no agony like a family dinner. But on the other hand, somewhere in that family dinner somebody will say something, shared memory will come flooding back in and you’ll remember a perfectly ineffable moment. And you’ll think, just for that one moment, “I understand family and I love my family so much.” And you see all the good of that energy. But it can be a very difficult energy.

Now, the thing about red, orange and yellow-ray energies is, they are not able to be exchanged. You can have these energies. You can work with these energies to understand them and to balance them and to clear the center so the energy of love and light can come streaming through your energy centers. But you can’t give them to anybody else.

Orange ray of course becomes yellow ray when you get married. Orange ray sprouts yellow ray immediately because it’s not just a personal relationship, it is an agreed-upon group relationship. It is a corporate relationship.

Work is yellow ray. Family is yellow ray. Marriage is yellow ray. Army is yellow ray. Patriotism is yellow ray. Loving your football team or soccer team is yellow ray. That’s the difference between orange ray and yellow ray, whether it’s strictly personal or whether there’s a group involved. If there’s a group involved then you’re on planet Earth and you’re doing what you came to planet Earth to do, which is to learn to live and love and be loved in groups, not just on your own but in terms of social interaction.

We as a people cannot exist on our own. That was designed into the density. We have to deal with other people. We don’t know how to make salt. We can’t grow it. If we try to be self-sustaining, we can grow our food but we can’t grow our salt. We can’t grow our sugar, probably, unless we live in a tropical zone. There are things we can’t do. We have to apply for help to other human beings. It might be you’re sitting there in your little cabin but you’re ordering stuff on the internet, or you’re going to the general store to buy your supplies, and then go back to your little safe place.

We need to be able to realize that it’s not a downside thing to deal with other people. It’s what we came here to do. We came here to look in the mirror. We came here to love and to be loved.

What I want to say before I open for questions is that the energy centers can be seen to be like flowers, and I’ve often seen them drawn that way, for instance in Drunvalo Melchisidek’s Flower of Life material. Basically he draws them as different kinds of lotuses or different sacred geometrical shapes, as well as different colors.

But what we need to remember is that there’s a hole in the middle where the love and the light of the infinite Creator flows through. So, you need to think in terms—and I try to do this every day, as Jim was saying in his talk—of ways of clearing the energies of those centers every day by examining the thoughts you had that day. What caught you? What triggered you that day? What pulled you off-center and got you over-activated or blocked, or whatever happened in the energy centers? Where is the hidden pain that that trigger says is there? Did you go after it? Did you try to penetrate it and bring it to the surface? Did you ask it what gifts it has for you?

It’s very important to keep red, orange and yellow energy centers open. You don’t have to solve the problems. And there’s nothing you can do to give this energy away. A lot of healers have tried to give this energy away, yellow-ray healers that say, “Be healed.” Well, you know, you can’t do it that way and have it last. There are people that, by their great gift, are able to affect the change in a person by that way, putting hands on you or by their ability to think, but it will wear off and it’ll have to be done again.

The only way you can really heal, the only way you can really be a healer, is to be able to lift that energy up to the heart center, and then dedicate yourself to being a kind of portable King’s Chamber position in the pyramid where you create the environment where a person can kind of splay out his own energy centers and say, “Oh I see, that’s really distorted there. I think I’ll change that. I think I’ll choose to change the way I’m working with that particular energy center. I’ll make that change.”

And then that person has chosen of his own free will to heal himself. You’re there as a catalyst. You’re there as an environment. You’re not doing anything. So from that standpoint the energy has been exchanged, and it will last. From below that energy center, nothing will last.

So don’t try to work with the red-ray energy, the orange-ray energy or the yellow-ray energy, to do anything but to understand it within yourself, analyze it with your mind, look into it with your intuition, dream about it and write down your dreams, do neurodramas like Jim was talking about, where something’s been on your mind since you were six years old, you finally get somebody to play the mother, and someone to play the father, and you play yourself, and you finally tell your parents off and say, “That wasn’t fair! I should’ve had that drawing paper! I know I’m no good at drawing but I love to draw.” You know, these things stick with you. And they block you.

Do what you can to be able to grin and giggle at your silliness at getting blocked in the first place, and then let it go. It’s no big deal. You’ll have another blockage tomorrow to work through. This is what we came here to do. This is our work. So just go ahead and do it. And get clear so that you can do the wonderful work I’ll talk about tomorrow, which is to get into the open heart.

I thank you all for listening to me so kindly. Are there any questions before we quit?

I just had, not so much a question, but something I’d like you to comment on. This morning when T1 was speaking, L asked E2 if he felt like he was on some special mission, or had some kind of predestined event he was looking for. Then P was talking about activism, the ways of being of service. That resonated with me because early on I really found myself thinking that my life here should’ve been of more substance, should’ve had more definition, should’ve been more active, should’ve found a way to be of greater service. Then I tended to also notice that that would leave me in the lurch when I was just dealing with day-to-day things. I didn’t think, until you crossed my path, that the mundane could be sacred, or would become sacred. I just couldn’t put those two together. It’s just been sitting heavy with me all day, [thinking], “You need to say something, or something needs to come out.”

Still, my favorite line in the whole Ra Material is: “All encounters are encounters of the third kind.” The only thing that makes something sacred, or makes something mundane, is maybe just the ritualistic nature of how you approach it.

I’m just thinking it’s real dangerous for people, especially if they’re a wanderer, or just of an evolved nature, to think there’s something more important to be done at the present. And I’ve never been able to figure that out.

That is so true. And I remember a story about Gandhi and his wife. They were both of the highest caste, upper class, Brahmin caste in India. And this is neither here nor there—what is class anyway but an illusion? Anyway, when you’re raised a certain way, you get used to things getting done a certain way and so when Gandhi started his commune or ashram, everybody needed to take their turn at washing up the bathroom. His wife said to him, “Does that mean me too? Because I’ve never done that in my life. It’s always been done for me. I’m Brahmin.” And he said, “Oh, my wife, I have utter respect for you. I would never ask for you to clean the bathroom. If you wish to join the commune, however, you will clean the bathroom.”

[Audience laughter.]

She started cleaning the bathroom, because she really, truly believed in her husband and she was willing to make that change. I have felt it. I mean, if you wash the toilet and you love the job. I mean, think about what goes into the toilet. You have processed through your body this food that nature has given you in great abundance, and you have taken it in. It tasted good. It’s fed your body and then you excrete by urination and defecation the unneeded parts of this and it’s flushed away by modern convenience so you don’t even need to smell it in the modern bathroom in America, usually, and the only thing left is a little bit here and a little bit there that needs to be spiffed up.

Well, when you invest the cleaning of the toilet with the realization of how grateful you are for the food, and how grateful you are for everything the food has given you, and how grateful you are that we’ve figured out how to remove the substances that we must excrete when we’re done with that, and as you’re spiffing up the little bits of waste that are left that you might be able to see, and you’re washing the dust out of your bathroom and where you’ve spattered the mirror with your toothpaste, and you’re just returning everything to a wonderful, peaceful, spacious cleanliness, well, the bathroom starts to sing to you, “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! I feel so good! I’m just shining! You love me and you’re not scorning me!”

You know, you can turn anything into a spiritual experience. It’s all in the way you think about it. Thanks, E1.

I can’t thank you enough for the realization that that is the Earth watch. I mean, that’s basically all I have. The seminar happens once a year. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’m in a position to do something else that I would consider of greater service to others and to myself. But on a day-to-day basis it is a real struggle to get out of bed and not have pride in my duties. I mean, there was no honor I found in living here. But then, it’s been three years, to slowly turn myself all the way around and now find pleasure in things.

There’s a book called Chop Wood, Carry Water which I read ten years ago, probably, now, but it held a lot of truth just in the title. The idea, of course, is that life is sacred, and the simpler things are, the more sacred they are. If you’ve ever studied shamanistic living, or Native American living, or a lot of different ways of living especially that aboriginal people create, everything is sacred, and everything you do is sacred.

[Thank you’s and good night’s exchanged.]

  1. Carla painted her fingernails the colors of the rainbow for this conference.