[new speaker] Jim
First of all, thank you all for having us here. Gary, and Austin, and I, are very honored to be here. We don’t get a lot of speaking invitations, so this is special for us. What I’d like to do is to share some of the history of L/L Research. I think a case could be made to say that it began back in the mid-40’s when Don Elkins was in junior high school, because at that time he was already asking the big questions of life. How big is the universe? Is there any end to it? How does it work? Why are people on this planet so crazy? [laughter] He figured that out right away. So, about all he could do then was to take the hard sciences in junior high, in high school—biology, physics, chemistry, physical science. So, he did all of that, but nothing satisfied him yet. However, something happened on January 7, 1948, when he was a senior in high school, that was pivotal in his life.
This was when he was taking flying lessons from Capt. Tom Mantell. Capt. Mantell was a captain in the Kentucky Air National Guard. He’d been a pilot in World War II. He flew the P51, and he helped fly cover for the Normandy Invasion on June 6, 1944. So, when he came to Kentucky, he joined the new Kentucky Air National Guard, and he started a flying school at Bowman Field, which was the airport for small craft in Louisville. Actually, he had started that school with a distant relative of Don’s, who was the Elkins in the Elkins-Mantell Flying School. So, Capt. Mantell, even though he was a captain, he was only 25 years old. Don, at the time, was 17.
So, on the afternoon of January 7, 1948, the Kentucky Highway Patrol received at least 30 phone calls from civilians saying there was a very unusual looking craft south of Mayfield, Kentucky, moving in a southeasterly direction.
“What in the world is that?”
So, after they got all these phone calls, they called Godman Tower in Ft. Knox, Kentucky, and said, “Do you have any planes in the area that might be able to check this unidentified flying object out?”
So, at that time Capt. Mantell, and three wingmen, were flying, each, a P-51 from Marietta, Georgia, to Standard Field in Louisville, and they radioed Capt. Mantell to see if he could make a change in his course, and fly an intercept course with this UFO. He said he would do that. One of the wingmen had to continue on to Louisville because he was short of fuel. Mayfield is past Louisville, so they were going to have to extend their flight.
So, within about 40 minutes, Capt. Mantell radioed Godman Tower that he had the UFO in sight. It was huge! It was 300 feet in diameter. It was metallic. It was round and had a cone on top. It looked like an inverted ice cream cone.
He said, “I’m going to try to get a little closer and get a look, I can see that there are portals there, and I’ll see what I can see in that craft.”
And just as he said that, the craft shot straight up at a rapid rate of speed. So, Capt. Mantell said he was going to give chase, and his two wingmen went with him through 18,000 feet, but they peeled off at 18,000 because they didn’t have oxygen. Unfortunately, Capt. Mantell didn’t have oxygen either, and when he went to 20,000 feet he passed out. His brain didn’t have oxygen, and he suffered hypoxia. His plane augered in, and crashed on the Kentucky/Tennessee border, and he was killed.
Now, this did two things right away. Previous to this time, the American public and the government and the military thought UFOs were a figment of someone’s imagination—they were weather balloons, they were something that could be explained. They were poo-pooed, and nobody believed in them. But now, for the first time a member of the U.S. Military had been killed chasing a UFO. The second thing it did was get Don Elkins interested in investigating UFOs, because that was his friend. Capt. Mantell was only 25 years old, and Don was 17 at the time; they were friends.
So, Don started reading whatever he could, and there wasn’t much at that time, in magazines and journals, about UFOs. So, when he got out of high school he went on to the University of Louisville, and by the time 1955 rolled around he had a Bachelor’s and a Master’s in Mechanical Engineering. Again, he was pursuing whatever hard sciences could teach him about the nature of the Universe. He saw life as a puzzle, and he was trying to put together the puzzle pieces, and UFOs, he felt, were a real large part of that. So, he immediately began teaching at the University of Louisville as soon as he was graduated. He taught Introduction to Physics classes to large classes of freshmen. In his spare time he decided to learn how to do regressive hypnosis. He wanted to see if reincarnation really was the way things worked. So, between 1955 and 1960 he did about 200 regressions, and he proved to himself that was, indeed, the way it worked. Almost all of the people had recall of previous lives, of many lives on Earth. So, that was his beginning research into the paranormal.
Then in 1962 he came in contact with some information from Detroit. There was a meditation group in Detroit that was headed by Walt Rogers. A few years earlier Walt had a face-to-face encounter with a supposed UFO entity, and as was the case back in the 50’s, many times the contactees had what was called, “the lingering telepathic contact,” with the UFO entity that they’d seen or met or been abducted by. This entity was part of a planetary group consciousness called Hatonn, and was in contact with Walt Rogers, and [Hatonn] said that if Walt would get together a group of people who wanted to meditate and seek the nature of truth, that Hatonn would transmit information to them—the philosophy of the Confederation of Planets in the Service of the Infinite Creator. It’s a long name for this group that is composed of many, many different planetary consciousnesses. So, Walt Rogers did that.
Hal Price was a member of that group, and he was also employed by Ford Motor Company in Detroit, and he was transferred to Louisville’s Ford Motor Company on Chamberlain Lane. So when he got to town he just sort of asked around if to see if there was anybody interested in UFOs, and he was pointed to Don Elkins at the University of Louisville. So Hal gave Don the information collected in what we’ve now come to call “The Brown Notebook.” This was all the information that Hatonn had channeled about how to form a group that could receive telepathic contacts from UFO entities. So, Don was fascinated.
Being a scientist he thought, “well, this is a good chance to try an experiment to see if we can create a UFO contact.”
But, he did not tell the people in it what he was doing. He invited twelve of his students from the freshman physics class to be members. At this time the Speed scientific school was all male, so these are twelve guys. But, one of them had a girlfriend, and her name was Carla Rueckert.
He asked Don if it would be okay if he brought his girlfriend, and Don said, “Sure, ok.”
So, that’s how Don and Carla met. For the first couple of months, Carla said she had a real hard time not laughing, because there were strange sounds being made by the guys’ mouths. They were receiving what we call “conditioning.” It’s not the way it’s done now, but back then the contacts from the extraterrestrial source would begin by moving your mouth, it would open and shut involuntarily, the tongue would flap around, so those sounds were going on all around the room—12 guys were doing this, and Carla had a hard time not laughing. Incidentally, they all eventually learned to channel, except for Carla. She wasn’t interested in learning to channel at that time. She liked the silent meditations; she thought the messages were beautiful, but just wasn’t interested.
So, what happened was Walt Rogers visited from Detroit, and he channeled Hatonn,
He said Hatonn told him “We have contact with you, if you’ll speak the thoughts in your mind as they come to you, more will be given to you. You’re not speaking them because you’re afraid you’re making them up. Just speak them, don’t analyze, don’t analyze them while they’re happening. That will stop the contact. Analyze them when it’s over.”
So, after that, all the guys learned to channel, and that was the beginning of the Louisville group, that continues to this day.
So, during that time when Carla and Jim D. (her boyfriend) were going to the meditation group, they were also singing together. They were a duet. Jim D. played the guitar and had a really nice double bass voice. Carla had a pretty soprano, and she had found these Child Border Ballads from Scotland and Ireland from the 1800’s, and she and Jim set those to music. So, they had 60 different original pieces of music that they could sing, and they sang around coffee houses and small venues in Louisville. At one of those venues the manager for Peter, Paul and Mary heard them singing. At that time, about 1964-65, Peter, Paul and Mary were just getting started.
They were just getting ready to make their first national tour, and that manager told them, “You know, you guys would be a good opening act. If you want to come to Chicago and audition, and the rest of the management crew agrees with me, you’ll be the opening act for Peter, Paul and Mary.”
So, they were really excited about that, but on the way home when Jim was taking Carla to her apartment, he said, “You know, if we’re going to be traveling around the country, and staying at motels together, we have to get married.”
And Carla said, “What?”
“No, we have to get married, it would be immoral not to be married.”
And she said, “Oh, come on, D., we don’t have to be married.”
“No, we have to be married.”
So, she put him off for a while but a few days later, they’re driving down Shelbyville Road in Louisville; it’s a very busy road, two directions of traffic, two lanes in two directions.
He stops the car in the middle of Shelbyville Road, gets out of the car, goes around to the passenger side, opens the door, gets down on one knee, and says, “Will you marry me? I’m not getting up from this pavement until you tell me you will marry me.”
“Get up, get up, we don’t need to get married.”
“I’m not getting up until you promise you’ll marry me.”
“Oh, D., okay, I’ll marry you.”
So, thus was the marriage begun. They were married about a week later, and a week after that they headed up to Chicago. They got a motel room and went out to eat. Somebody in that restaurant that must have known they were going to be auditioning for Peter, Paul and Mary, came over to the table and asked DeWitt for an autograph.
He gave the autograph; he looked at Carla afterwards, and said “I’m not going to be doing that for the rest of my life. I don’t want to live like that. I don’t want people chasing me down for my autograph.”
So, the next morning he refuses to get out of bed until she promises that he doesn’t have to sing and audition.
And she said, “But D., we came up here for that—we got married for that.”
“I’m not going to live that way. I can’t do that.”
So now they’re married and they’re not singing. He hung up his guitar and never played again.
So, then in the next four years—yeah, there’s more coming. [Laughter] Now, D. had his own charms, but being a faithful husband was not one of them. Over the next four years he left Carla seven times, each time with a lover. But the last time he headed toward Vancouver, B.C., because the Vietnam War was going on, and his draft number was coming up, so he was evading the draft and he took his lover with him.
After a couple of months in Vancouver, he calls Carla and says, “This isn’t going very well out here; we can’t find a job. We haven’t got any money. Could you come out and help us out and get a job, because you’re a librarian?”
She was working at a 13-grade school as a librarian.
“Help us out, we really need the money.”
And Carla said—she went over that marriage agreement--for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, no small print. “Okay.”
So, she quit her job, and she went out to Vancouver, B.C., and she got a job within two weeks at Simon Frasier University, which was just then forming in Burnaby, which was about 30 miles from Vancouver. She had 13 people working for her in the Library, she was making $4,000 a year, promised $13,000 the next year if she stayed, and things seemed to be going fairly well.
But a couple months later D. says, “This marriage just isn’t working out, I really need a divorce.”
Carla says, “Okay.”
Then he says, “But, in order for us to get divorced, we’ve got to go back to Louisville so you can be with your people.”
She said, “But I’ve got a great job here, D., I’m making lots of money and I’m going to make more, and I really love it.”
He said, “No, you’ve got to go back to be with your people.” Carla said, “Okay.”
So, they went back, and they got the divorce. The good thing about going back was she got to go back to the Louisville Group and got together with Don again, and to channel--well, she didn’t channel for a while--but to listen to the channelings, and basically get to know Don better. Her divorce was final in November, 1968, and in December of 1968, Don moved in with her.
In that same month, they began their first project which was writing a book of what they thought was fiction—The Crucifixion of Esmeralda Sweetwater was the name of the book. It was interesting how it was written. They were sitting on the couch, and Carla put her head in Don’s lap and Don had a tape recorder in one hand. They both saw the book mentally, as if it were a movie playing in their minds. Ra said that their commitment to get together and work together, released an energy that was a very powerful energy of service to others. That since they’d gotten together now, the possibility was that they were going to serve. So, this book was a product of that. Don would see the plotline, Carla would see the characters. So, they wrote the book, and they thought it was fiction, but as the years went by, we discovered it was a prophetic book. It prophesied at least ten different things that happened in the L/L Research future, including the Ra contact, and Don’s death.
The only thing that they did not see in the book, was who would die. There were three characters in the book—two men and one female—the three of us. Now, they hadn’t met me yet, but they wrote about a third character—there were just the two of them when they wrote this book. And when they wrote about that third character, Theodore Baer, they described me, my face exactly. Curious. But the only thing they could not write was the ending—who was going to die? Somebody had to die—the title was The Crucifixion of Esmeralda Sweetwater, so they had to manufacture it, they had to write, they had to imagine. They tried ten different endings. So finally, in the book, Esmeralda dies. The character would be Carla’s character.
So, after that, they decided to investigate more about UFOs. In 1970 they formed what was called the L/L Company. L/L stood for love and light, because whenever an entity from the Confederation of Planets in the Service of the One Infinite Creator would contact them, they would say, “We greet you in the love and in the light of the One Infinite Creator.” The love and the light, they felt, were the basic building blocks of the universe, that the Creator’s free will focusing through love, could create what we call light—various vibrations, angles of rotation, speeds of rotation, condensed into what we see as material, as matter. So, they would greet you in the love and the light, and they chose that as the title of L/L Research.
So, over this period of time now, since Don was a pilot, whenever there was a report in the country of a contactee, or an abductee, they would fly there. He was a professor from ’55 to ’65 at the University of Louisville, and then he became a pilot for Eastern Airlines. So, he could rent small planes and go anywhere in the country, and take Carla with him. They would investigate sightings, interview the people that were involved, and collect all of this information, so that by 1976 they were able to write a book called Secrets of the UFO. That was a compilation of Don’s 25 years of research. Now, I got a little bit ahead of myself there. In 1974, all the guys that had learned how to channel were gone. They’d either gotten jobs, or married or both, and had moved out of town, so the only one left that could channel was Don. He looked at Carla and said, “Well, free lunch is over, it’s time you learned how to channel.” [Laughter]
Fortunately, she seemed to have a skill for it, although the first message she ever got from Hatonn was, “I am Hatonn, we are having trouble with this instrument.” [Laughter]
So that was her beginning; that was her first lesson. And, interestingly enough, we just finally got together all of the transcripts. The way Don taught her was not sitting there and telling her how to do it—he channeled how to do it from the Confederation. So, we’ve just now put together the book Voices from the Confederation, which is all of the work that came out of those channeling sessions. That was 1974.
Now, in 1974 I moved to the woods of central Kentucky, and that was part of the back-to-the-land movement. A few of you might be old enough to remember the back-to-the-land movement in the 70’s. Mostly old hippies from the city, well educated, and trying to follow Thoreau’s dictum: “Simplify, simplify, buy your own land, build your own house, raise your own garden, home school your kids.” So, I built a log cabin, and lived there for about 6-1/2 years. On May 30, 1977, I was listening to my little battery-powered radio in my cabin. It was tuned into Station WKQQ, Lexington, Kentucky. They had a special program that night on UFOs. They were investigating and interviewing Don Elkins and Carla Rueckert. This was about an hour-long program, and I thought it was fascinating. I thought it was amazing because they weren’t just talking about what most UFO researchers were talking about—the shape of the craft, the size, the shape of the entities in it, the landing gear, the propulsion and all that stuff—they were talking about the philosophy of those entities. That this was a creation of unity—that there was nothing in this creation but the Creator. Everything was made from the Creator. All is alive (0:19:27.4); all is sacred. I thought, “Wow, that’s pretty far out, that goes right along hippie - lines of peace, love and unity.” [Laughter] So I really wanted to meet them, but it took me awhile.
We had food buying coops in those days, and we’d get together once a month and place our orders with a Federation of Ohio River Co-ops in Columbus, Ohio. We’d get together the next week after the food was delivered, and separate it out, and talk, and have a little lunch, and so forth. I met a couple from the other side of the same county I was living in, Michael and Denise Koepper, and I told them, that I’d heard this—we were talking philosophy and channeling, and so forth—and I said that I’d heard this couple from Louisville last year and I really liked what they had to say.
“Oh, you mean Don Elkins and Carla Rueckert?”
“We’re members of the Louisville Group, we can introduce you.”
So, for the next year I drove up to Louisville from my little homestead every Sunday night and took a friend of mine who lived just a little further down the creek than I did, and we went to the Sunday night meditation, and we got to ask questions and meet Don and Carla. It was just a beautiful time. The messages were just what we needed to hear, and Don and Carla were excellent hosts.
So, when the summer of 1980 rolled around, Don and Carla decided to move from the apartment they were living in on Douglas Boulevard, where they’d lived for 12 years, where they had all these meditations. They decided to move to outside Louisville just a little bit, in Jefferson Town, in the suburbs of Louisville. It was a nice old house, probably built in the ‘40’s or ‘50’s, one story, interestingly enough it was built in the shape of an “L”, and there were bedrooms on both ends and in the middle, so we always had our own bedroom; we had privacy whenever we wanted it. It sat on 6-1/2 acres of land. When you were down at the road, you had to drive up the driveway to get to it, and when you looked up at it, you couldn’t see it; all you could see was a roof because there were so many trees, and flowers, and shrubs and bushes, and vines, that it looked like the roof was just floating in the trees. It had its own orchard, it had a little woods out back; it was a wonderful place.
So, I helped them move there—mostly I helped Carla because Don, as a pilot for Eastern, was gone eight to ten days at a time on trips, and then he’d be home for four or five days, and then I’d get to spend some time with him, too. But, by the end of the summer I’d gotten to know them both quite well, and Don invited me to join them, to become the third member of their group. I loved what they were doing, I loved them, but I’d been on the mailing list of “Cosmic Awareness Communications” for five years at that point, and they were in...the channeling happened in Olympia, Washington, and Paul Shockley, the channel, lived in Yamhill, Oregon, just outside of Portland, and I thought their information was really, really good, so I thanked Don and Carla for inviting me.
But I said “I’m headed out to Oregon to join the folks at Cosmic Awareness Communications.”
So, in October, 1980, I drove 2,500 miles to Yamhill, Oregon, where they also had the Aquarian Church of Universal Service that met on Sundays, and everyone that was interested in the Cosmic Awareness Communication channeling went to church, and everybody in the church that had kids sent their kids to the Windsong School of Awareness, where they were homeschooled. So, I lived at the Windsong School, close to it, in a little trailer, a rusty old trailer that was so rusty it was brown, so I named it “Tootsie Roll.” So, one Sunday at the Aquarian Church I met this fellow from Canada. He gave me a chance to earn a lot of money. He had a mining operation for diatomaceous earth in Southern Canada and Northern United States. He offered me $100,000 to be the manager. I didn’t have anything against money—I didn’t go out there to earn money, or a lot of money, and it confused me.
I thought, “Well, if I take this job, that might compromise my spiritual journey. I might not be able to devote time to it.”
I was really confused; I didn’t know what to do. So, I decided what I would do was take a weekend off, have a meditation, and try to get some inner guidance. So, I told everybody at the Windsong School that that’s what I was going to do, and that I would see them on Monday. So, when Friday rolled around, I had a little something to eat, got in my little easy chair there, and I meditated.
I took about 30 seconds for a comet to shoot across the inner field of my vision, “Go back to Louisville—join Don and Carla.”
I said, “Okay, I’ve got the rest of the weekend for free.” [Laughter]
So, I told the folks at the Windsong School that I was going to head out to Louisville again, go back 2,500 miles, and the kids there at the school gave me a little kitten--Chocolate Bar. The kids made money by pairing up this big, old, tough-looking Siamese with a beautiful female Siamese, and they produced really pretty kitties. They gave me one, that whenever I’d go to school it would climb me and sit on my shoulder, so they gave me Chocolate Bar, and I litter trained her in the truck on the way back. I had a litter box on the floor on the passenger side, and whenever she’d have to go I’d just put her down there.
So, I got back to Louisville on December 23, 1980. We thought the first thing we would do together would be to revise Secrets of the UFO, because it had been 14 years since it was out, and there were a lot more sightings and such during that time. So, I set about reading whatever journals and magazine articles I could find, but three weeks after I got there, the Ra contact started, so that project went by the side. I wasn’t at the first session, interestingly enough. Carla was teaching a Sunday night meditation member how to channel, and Don was sitting in to energize the session, because Carla said we always needed three people to universalize the message, and to provide protection for the channel. I was doing the cooking at that time, so I thought, well, they’ve got three people so I’ll go out and get some groceries. So, I went to Kroger’s just as the Ra session was starting, and I came home and interrupted the first Ra session.
If you look in the first session, it says, “We must pause to deepen this instrument’s state.”
But the reason was I just walked in the front door with groceries in my arms, because that’s how you got in the house. [Laughter] So, I saw there was a session going on so I walked down the hall to the kitchen, and put all the groceries away.
When the session was over, Don said, “This is it! This is the contact we’ve been waiting for, for 20 years. Could you transcribe it immediately?”
I said, “Immediately?”
And he said, “Yes, this is it!”
I said, “Okay,” because Don never got excited, he was a cool dude.
He decided years before that people went up and down with high and low emotions, and he wasn’t going to do that. He was this. [Jim gestures a smooth, level line.] He didn’t use his catalyst at the time. He didn’t know that was not the best choice, but it was a very wise choice, and he did not get excited. He was excited!
So, as I transcribed the session, I thought, “Yeah, this is good stuff. This is like we’ve never seen before.”
So, we were so excited that we kind of overdid it as far as using Carla as an instrument to start with. You’ve noticed the first few weeks we were doing two sessions a day.
We asked Ra, “Is it possible to do two sessions a day?”
Ra said it was possible, but didn’t say it was a good idea. So much of the Ra contact was a product of our free will. They couldn’t tell us certain things that were important for us to know in our total being because it would infringe upon our free will. And that was one of them, so we had to learn that. We had to learn a lot of things the hard way. So, we had 75 sessions the first year. We had to quit on October 31, on Halloween, because Carla had surgery scheduled the next day on her right elbow. The arthritis in her body was causing problems with using that arm. She pre-incarnatively chose to have arthritis, because it would limit what she could do in the world around her. She could not go out into the world and do worldly things. She would have to focus on the inward journey—meditation, prayer, channeling, and it worked. But, there were problems that came with it, and throughout the Ra contact they proved to be a challenge for sure.
If you’re familiar with negative entities of a discarnate nature, offering what most people call “psychic attacks” we called “psychic greetings” because we wanted to de-emphasize the attack nature and the adversarial nature of these entities. But when you are in a spiritual group and you’re producing light that has the ability to change consciousness of those in the group, and around the group, and outside the group, that light is a power. It is seen on the inner planes as a power. And, negatively-oriented entities want that power for themselves--that is their way--they control and manipulate others to use power for themselves.
And there is also a basic balancing mechanism that is in operation for everybody on Planet Earth that does any kind of channeling like that, or any kind of production of power. That is, every time you produce information of a positive nature, there must be an equal opportunity for the negative entities to be heard, so that everybody on Earth has a chance to make a choice. It is not made for you—your free will is of paramount importance. So, during the Ra contact there were numerous times when Carla’s arthritis was accentuated, because any free will choice that you make that is not up to what you could do in the way of harmony, say, if I allowed a disharmonious situation to exist between Don and me for an hour, that was enough to cause an opening in my orange ray energy center, which deals with one-to-one relationships, one person to another person, me and Don. That was energized by our negative friend to give me a kidney problem, nephritis, minimal change syndrome, and within two weeks I gained 30 pounds in water weight. It took a lot of heavy-duty chemicals to get my body back in shape.
So, that was the principle that was in operation, and that was going to continue to operate throughout the entire session, all the sessions. So, the first year we had 75 sessions, the second year we started again February 3, 1982, we had 24 sessions, the third year, 1983, we had four sessions. The psychic greetings were starting to take their toll, because both Don and Carla had physical problems that were being accentuated, and Don and Carla both, especially Don, had mental-emotional problems because his natural tendency towards wisdom, was now turned into worry by his own choice. He was worried Eastern Airlines was failing. Five years later, it did go bankrupt. (Actually it went bankrupt 12 years later.)
He was worried that we weren’t going to be able to continue the Ra contact, because he couldn’t support us any more if he had no job. He was especially worried that the psychic greetings for Carla were going to end her life, and, worse, send her into negative space/time, because that was a possibility. There was a Circle of One that we walked around Carla that Ra gave us as a means of protection. If we made a mistake in that circle, Ra asked us to immediately repeat it, because it would provide an opening for the negative entity to come through, and that happened on a couple of occasions, especially during a Sunday night meditation, before we knew it was even possible. She was asked a question by a member while she was channeling another entity, Latwii, from the Confederation, and it had to do with the Ra contact.
She said to herself mentally, “I don’t know anything about the answer to this,” because Don wasn’t letting her read the sessions for the first twenty-two sessions.
As a scientist, he didn’t want her to know anything about it. Ra finally said she could read after she forced Don to ask.
But, she was channeling, and didn’t know the answer and so she thought to herself, “I wish I was channeling Ra.”
That was enough—because her will was so strong—for her to begin leaving her body without any protection. Latwii realized what was happening, and began to channel nonsense information just to hold on to her spirit. In the next session we had with Ra, we asked Ra what had happened during that session, and they gave us the rundown on how it could happen, that she could be misplaced in negative time/space if she left her body of free will, and was led there by the negative entity, which was something the negative entity would very much like to have done.
So, the entire Ra contact was a process of getting used to having to deal with the psychic greetings. By the time 1983 rolled around, Don was so weary from all his travels as an Eastern Airlines pilot, and from the problems he was having just naturally growing older at the time, but Carla was worried about him. So, that worry was accentuated. Don’s worry was accentuated by our negative friend into what approached paranoia at one point. So, at the end of 1983 we decided that in order to help Don, perhaps the best thing we could do would be to move to Atlanta, because as a pilot for Eastern he was based in Atlanta, so to get to work he had to drive from our house in Louisville to the airport, then fly from Louisville and hour and a half to Atlanta, and then go to work. So, we thought if we moved there we could help him out and save some of that trouble, and maybe he wouldn’t have so many physical problems, maybe he would improve all over.
So, we moved to a house on Lake Lanier. If you’re familiar with Atlanta, that’s on the north side of Atlanta, the Atlanta Airport is on the south side of Atlanta, and if you’ve ever been in Atlanta rush hour traffic—it took as long for Don to get there as it did from Louisville. It was a bad choice, but, we made a few of those at the end.
So, we were able to get ourselves in shape well enough for the last Ra contact there at the Lake Lanier house, Session #106, and in that session, we were able to find out a couple of things that were going on that were causing problems. Number one, both Don and Carla were going through initiation. Ra didn’t say what kind of initiation, but if you’re familiar with the metaphysical principles of initiation, they always involve some form of challenge—a problem that you have to overcome, though it’s not usually easy, all by themselves. Then we discovered that there was an unintended, unimagined, deleterious energy exchange between Carla and Don that caused huge problems. Carla could see the worry that was happening in Don because of everything that was going on with Eastern, his job, it still wasn’t good, the house we were in was terrible, it was a lake house, the ceilings were 17 feet tall in the kitchen, all the heat was up there, this was winter, the pipes broke, the carpets got moldy—things were going poorly right now.
"So, this deleterious energy exchange—Carla tried to help Don out by saying, “Look, why don’t you be like me—be small and foolish, and don’t worry about things. I’ll take over the worry. I’ll do the worrying.”
That simple will of each of them.
Don said, “Okay, yeah, sure, whatever.”
And here the exchange was made. Carla took on his wisdom and worry, and Don took on her totally open heart which caused him to be overwhelmed by feelings that he had never had before. They did not know that was possible to happen because as Ra said, they had been as one since before time.
So, everything became, exponentially, more difficult for both of them, especially for Don. In that session, Ra mentioned that it was very possible for Don to become emotionally and mentally dysfunctional because of what had happened. He needed to focus on praise and thanksgiving. He needed to make positive affirmations major league. At this point, he was past being able to do that. The last great choice he made was to get us back to Louisville, back into the house that Carla and I lived in for 31 years after he passed away, and which I still live in.
So, we got back to the house that we now live in, or I live in, and the next seven months were really hard for Don because every day seemed to be worse than the one before. He knew that he was having problems. He checked himself into the mental hospital in Louisville—Norton’s Hospital, 6th Floor, his psychiatrist was on vacation for the first three weeks he was there, so nothing happened.
The next three weeks he would ask Don, “Do you want to talk today,”
And Don would say, “No.”
So, he never talked to him. But, Don was able to put on the front that made him think that he was better, so he got out. And, he lost a third of his body weight—he was 6’5”, 220 lbs. and he was down to 140 lbs. now. So, he wasn’t able to eat; there was a problem in his colon, and Ra had mentioned in Session #106 that it needed to be attended to. So, things just got really difficult. We were trying everything we could think of to try to help out, but we were in a total state of confusion at that time. We knew at the time that we had the Ra contact, we were on the mountain top, it was a golden time, it was the greatest dreams come true. Things we couldn’t imagine were happening, and now we were experiencing the opposite—it was in the valley of despair. And, unfortunately, Don’s life ended tragically and traumatically.
And if you have questions later on, I’d be glad to go into details, they’re not pleasant, but we never hide them, because that’s what happened. But, what else happened was within the week after his passing, Carla saw him twice in waking visions, and he told her that everything turned out the way it needed to. That we’d never understand that while we were alive. That we, too, would have to go through death’s door before we understood it. So, Carla knows, and I’m still wondering.
So after that, Carla and I decided that we had to keep L/L Research going—it was Don’s life’s work; it was our life’s work, so we continued doing the channelings every Sunday night, 52 weeks a year, and we collected—well, we started channeling a new entity, Q’uo. And we collected 1,500 different sessions with Q’uo.
Q’uo is an interesting entity. If any of you have taken Latin, Q’uo in Latin means “who, what, where,” so they were asking us to ask who they were. So, we finally got smart enough to ask them, and they are apparently a principle made up of three different social memory complexes, Hatonn from the fourth density, Latwii from the fifth density, and Ra from the sixth density. So, we still had a kind of distant, stepped-down vibration of Ra, and still have Q’uo, in that fashion. So, Carla could channel Ra without having to go into trance. It wasn’t the pure Ra that you get in the Ra sessions, but a lot of people like Q’uo better because Q’uo is easier to understand. If you’re familiar with Ra, they use words like an equation in mathematics.
So, also, this harkens back to Esmeralda Sweetwater: who is going to die? Well, they (originally) chose Carla, but it wasn’t Carla, it was Don. And that’s kind of the way it worked out. So, Carla channeled her last session on April 2, 2011. Two weeks later she had lumbar surgery; the arthritis that she had all her life had begun to cause the spine to move, to translate to the right side and put the spinal cord in jeopardy, and she was having a harder and harder time walking. So, she had lumbar surgery and they basically fused the lower vertebrae in place so there could be no more movement.
She had thoracic surgery up on top a year earlier, and it worked and got her arms back in shape, so we tried the lumbar surgery, but this was what you would call “ill-fated.” She had a lot of problems with infections, the first year, seven infections and seven debridements, so she had a large open wound that would never heal.
All through the Ra contact, and afterward, we had our own bedrooms, so now, she was learning a lesson, and I was learning a lesson, by her needing me to take care of her. She was in my room now, in a hospital bed, for the last four years. When she was a child she learned how to give without expectation of return. She was a child prodigy, and her mom and dad thought the way to deal with her incredible intelligence was not to compliment her, but to give her constructive criticism, so she did not get anything back when she gave love. That was a lesson—it was planned to work that way.
But now, at the end of her life, she needed to balance that with learning how to receive the love offerings of others. In order for her to do that she had to unblock her indigo ray that had this blockage of low self-worth. She had to first feel she was worthy of the love offerings of others. So, that’s what she and I, in this bedroom, did. She learned those things. She learned to feel worthy. She learned to receive my love offerings. I learned to give love, and to welcome her into my heart, and symbolically into my room—I’m a practical kind of guy. So, she coming into my room, with her clothes, books, computer, everything—I was making room for her in my room and in my heart. So, that was also exactly the way it needed to turn out.
So, in the last two weeks of her life, a massive infection overtook her wound, and ended her incarnation. So, that was the way that ended, and at this point, on that low note, Gary, you’re up. [Laughter] He’s going to give us a little rundown on the last ten years of what L/L Research has been doing, because he and Austin keep L/L Research going in the office. I’m technologically retarded. These guys do all this work, and do a really good job, so tell us about it, Gary.
[new speaker] Woman
Do we want to take a two-minute pee break?
[new speaker] Jim
Yeah, break time.
[new speaker] Man
Thank you for that, that was amazing.