The question this afternoon is a continuation of last week’s question concerning the harmony that is possible to be generated within a mated relationship, the problems that we have in experiencing disharmony, even though we attempt very much to be clear in communication and compassionate in communication. We are wondering this week if there is some relationship between the various portions of our characters or personalities. We find that there are different aspects of ourselves that have different ways of expressing, and that are perhaps even contradictory from time to time. Is there some way that we can gain a greater understanding about increasing the harmony in a relationship by integrating or becoming more aware of those various portions of ourselves that seem at times to be at odds with themselves?

(Carla channeling)

Greetings in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. I am Q’uo, of the Confederation of Planets in the Service of the One Infinite Creator, and I thank you most humbly for calling us to your circle of seeking, and for giving us the opportunity to talk upon this subject. Indeed, it would be well for all third-density peoples to examine well not only the answers to questions such as this, but the questions themselves, for the seeds of truth lie not within answers, but within questions, and it is the more skillful spiritual student who pays attention to the questions that his incarnational experience generates.

How, indeed, to live in harmony with the self or with another? That is a dilemma for those of your density, locked outside of the knowledge of others’ true resonances, and seeing only that tip of the iceberg which is behavior. How can entities choose most wisely, especially when they require of themselves a choice which must be made, often before the entity is aware of its deeper desires? Consequently, many mates and many behaviors are chosen because of shallow and petty reasons, reasons which will not endure, truths that will not hold.

Let us again begin within the self. What is it that causes an entity to feel that it is self-contradictory? Indeed, it is a fact that entities are self-contradictory. This is a part of the illusion that may be taken as truth for the purposes of learning. Like all other portions of the illusion, there is no permanent or lasting truth connected with this personality that you experience as yourself. Indeed, you have simply taken on a personality, a solidity, an incarnation, in order that your consciousness may experience this very illusion of separatehood. Not only are you within your physical vehicles apparently separate from all other solidified entities, but within yourself you are apparently solidified into various portions, or voices, or personalities within the self which are responding to various stimuli.

Let us use a created example. Let us say that a seeker has a father, a mother, a brother and a sister, and perhaps one other relative which has affected interaction with the seeker at very young ages. There is within the capability of absolutely every behavior possible. That is true not of those who are seemingly evil in their behavior or negative any less than it is true of those who are seemingly very positive in their behavior. Behavior is simply a way of responding in a situation in which it is not safe to be. Consequently, the personalities that do not seem to be congruent as one integrated self are most often those voices that spoke when you were helpless in the years of your incarnation before you gained any maturity or strength. These voices were powerful; you were not.

The voices, however, were not often, in some cases, kind. The voice of the father, perhaps challenging in one way, perhaps refusing to consider any point of view but the father’s own. The mother’s voice, perhaps a particular mother was cowed before the authority of the mate, and did not choose to stand with a child, even if the child might be in some sense correct, if the mate, the father of the child, wished to exercise negative authority. Perhaps the brother, the sister, the aunt, put one in a bullying position, or only bullied the seeker. There are many, many hurts that to a mature and independent entity are only scratches, but before the infant has created for itself a nexus of experience full enough that it attempts to control its environment, it has been compromised into fear by the voices that it hears that have power over it, and so the seeker develops behavior.

It is a role directly at odds with being, because it mimics being, often perfectly. One can behave, although one is under great stress if one does, for all of the entire waking hours of its day. One can choose never to be simply as one is, and instead one may simply respond to each situation with the appropriate voice, the appropriate behavior. This is a life lived in primary fear. The fear is reasonable for the small child. The same fear can be employed by the self as a learning tool if the self is able to decide for itself that its choices will no longer include those drawn from the soil of fear.

Each entity to whom we speak is what you call adult. Within the adult there lies the universe, and this creates in you great treasure, but it cannot be known to you except insofar as you release fear and the behaviors that it brings into being. When, for instance, an entity who has been terrorized by a parent finds itself in a position where it must make a decision, a hard decision with which it must live, it experiences the fear of that voice saying “You, you small child, could not possibly have the wisdom to make the correct choice.”

Let us reexamine this voice, this portion of the personality that you think is your own voice, but in fact is not. That voice speaks fear, but what have you to fear? Shall you be wrong? Mistakes occur. Out of that wrongness, no matter what it is, a desirable and beneficial result will take place, for in the mistakes that are seen in men’s eyes are the happenstances of spiritual evolution as seen in the eyes of a living spirit of love. What is feared? Being wrong, being foolish.

Let us put this in perspective. Do you fear that the wrong decision shall cause your physical death? That is unlikely, and yet perhaps that can be taken as the worst possible outcome. Gaze at that outcome. Do you fear entering larger life? Do you fear leaving behind the pain and the heaviness of third-density illusion and entering into a creation more filled with light, feeling and knowledge? My friends, this is an interesting thing to fear, indeed. Yet, this is the worst that can happen to you.

Let us recall to your minds the basic purpose of third-density incarnation. You are here to make choices. It is imperative that you make choices. If the choices that you make are unskillful, that is acceptable to the infinite Creator. The process of making choices creates in the seeker more and more skill at the process of making choices. Like any other process, choice making improves with practice. If one is able eventually to claim and name all of the portions of the personality, one is then able simply to say, “I know not how these portions of myself fit together, and I lay that before love itself, for I know not what to do, yet love knows that which is the very best for me, and I will allow that love to lead me, and I shall follow.”

We are aware that this seems in some ways very glib, because the tearing and rending of the self, as one develops in maturity, is certainly most painful, and almost impossible to understand while it is going on. It is necessary only to understand that all things within the self, though contradictory, confused, and to whatever extent unenlightened, are acceptable, beloved, and supported by the one infinite Creator, and by that spirit of love that moves with you and is your companion at all times. There is no way that you can move away from love, except by ignoring it because of fear. You see, to the Creator, you are never guilty, you are never unaccepted. To the Creator, you are always in a paradise, but each of you is in an illusion which decries the apparent inaccuracy of our previous statement, and it is only by faith that you may feel that love, that acceptance, that forgiveness, and that support. It is only by faith that you may continue standing when you feel that life has cut you off at the knees. It is only by faith that you can stay alive when you feel that your life is not worth the living.

Feelings of despair are normal portions of the experience of humankind in third density. There is no negative feeling, passive or active, of which you are not fully capable, given the appropriate circumstances. It is vitally important that you are able to see that, scattered as you may be in this illusion, there is within you a center, a core that is the very treasure of all that there is. Within you is a spark of love that whether you wish it or not, unifies you, not within the illusion, for there you must struggle to learn, but within that underlying reality of your spiritual self.

Let us gaze one last time at the struggle of the self with self. Which portions of yourself do you like? Which portions do you not like? You may write these things down about yourself, or you may trick your conscious mind by attempting to write down those things which you like and dislike about an entity whom you truly, seriously, have arguments with, or dislike. When you write down those things which you are willing to give to that entity that are of goodness, and when you write down those entity’s faults with which you are so in a struggle, you will discover that you have written about yourself. This is a useful exercise for learning how each entity within the illusion of third density distorts the love and the light that moves through the universe in a way unique to itself.

It is well to trust that all the personalities within have made their own quite lucid unification. It is equally clear that an entity cannot express at the same time all of that which it feels, thinks and is concerned about in a situation. There you have a window into the process of making choices. Come to know the voices that speak within, not so that you may silence them, necessarily, but so that you may recreate a list of priorities in which those voices and the behaviors that they have caused are of a far lower priority than the self forgiven, accepted and loved in the present moment. Claim this self, for this is who you are. There is no you but you. You are unique, a child of love who has made choices. Whatever you have done to this point, know that this is a new moment, as is each moment, and that all choices are equally open to you at all times. Yes, you must bear the consequences of the choices. One of the beauties of this density in terms of its being an excellent environment for learning is that entities are indeed held responsible for their choices. This enables the spiritually growing self to be aware of the importance of making choices.

Now, let us look at the kind of choice that you wish to make, whether it is for yourself or for another. First of all, if the Creator loves and accepts and forgives, is there a significant rationale for refusing to accept to love and forgive either yourself or another entity for behaving or being in a certain way? Here is another question. Can you see in the behavior of yourself or another the consciousness that lies beyond, beneath, above and around that behavior? Have you any clue as to the nature of that entity’s unique being? Remember that this is a place for positive action. Positive action in third density is not simply in the arena of the body, but in the arena of the mind. If you find yourself judging, belittling, demeaning or engaging in other negative interactions with yourself or portions of yourself, or with the behavior of others, take a breath, stop, rock back on your mental or emotional heels, and ask yourself if you are appreciating and respecting the freedom and the beingness of yourself or another, for it matters not whether you are dealing with yourself or another. Respect for consciousness suggests that you and others are equally worthy of respect, care, attention, service, and above all, love.

Another question that is fruitful to consider is whether you expect an outcome from yourself or another. To ask of yourself this and this and this outcome is, in the way of making plans, simply a sensible process. If the plans that have been made are not possible to fulfill, then it is the wise seeker who does not waste time bemoaning the undesired outcome of some action or thought. Any action or thought done in order to please or palliate or expedite or control situations is also behavior that will likely engender the harsh edges of other entities’ personalities, for when one acts through fear and attempts to control the environment of one’s incarnation, one is also controlling other entities. Usually, there is rationalization given to the controlling of other entities for their own happiness. However, to the one being controlled, any control whatsoever feels like interference, and consequently the fear within that entity comes alive and moves to defend the perimeter of that personality.

Relax the mind now, and see all solidity fly away. You are not solid entities; that is an illusion. You are not your behavior; that is part of the illusion. You are yourself and your choices and the deep biases that they bring. If you attempt to define yourself in permanent terms while in this illusion as anything but a student who is attempting to learn the lessons of this classroom, you have moved into an area which will be confusing and debilitating.

At this time, because of the sleepiness within the circle, we would choose to conserve this instrument’s energy and simply ask if there are any questions that we might answer before we leave this group this evening. Is there a question at this time?


I am known to you as those of Q’uo. We are most pleased at being able to speak with you further upon this interesting subject. There is no immediate end to the number of ways to address this subject, and we are happy to speak more upon various aspects of it as you gaze upon this material and are able to ask further questions, if that is what you would desire. We are most pleased to speak further at another working.

In hopes that you may truly love yourselves and one another with confidence and faith, we leave you in the kingdom of eternity that this basic attitude delivers you into. We thank you for the beauty of your vibrations and for the peace of your seeking. In its persistence and depth there is a beauty not often seen among your people, and we are humble before third-density pilgrims such as you who struggle and weep and survive to hope and have faith and love tomorrow. Move that tomorrow, my friends, into the present moment, and never let it go, and you shall be one, and all shall be well. And when you cannot do this, forgive yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself, for these are the tools with which you learn to love all that there is.

We bid you adonai. We are known to you as those of the principle of Q’uo. We leave you in the love and the light of the one infinite Creator.