The question for our intensive meditation is: Discuss the male and female relationship—why each of us is born with a desire for a committed love relationship with another person, yet why it is so difficult to obtain.

(Carla channeling)

Greetings to each of you this evening in the love and the light of the one infinite Creator of All. We are pleased, as always, to be asked to join this group for the purpose this evening of the exercising of the instrument. As you know, it is our service to work with you and you offer a service to us in allowing us this opportunity. For this, we thank you.

We would, as always, ask each to use the faculties of discrimination to the fullest extent to which they have been developed, in listening to our words this evening and at any other time. Indeed, we urge that this be the approach to all the information encountered by the seeker, as each is responsible only for the self, for the thoughts and words and deeds that proceed from the self and create the world about each. There is no other entity who knows you and your path, no other entity who is capable of judging what is appropriate for you. So you must each do it for yourselves and for no other.

You wish information this evening on what many view as the most central core relationship known to your peoples. We would agree that the relationship between man and woman is important in many ways, but we do not agree that it has the most central importance. The relationship of central importance is that of the self with the self. Information has been given on this and each is urged to consider this relationship first of all and to request additional information at a later time if so desired.

The next most important relationship is that of the self with the Creator, or in a sense, with all that there is. This, also, is a topic for discussion at another time if so desired.

After these two centrally important relationships have been worked with and balanced to some extent, then and only then is each individual ready to consider a relationship of importance in the sense of a committed life partnership relationship between a man and a woman.

Some of the advantages of this type of relationship for the seeker have been related previously. It has been said to this group before that a relationship between male and female is most advantageous in the polarization process and in the seeking process in general. Firstly, because the energy generated by two seeking together far surpasses that of each one’s own; and secondly, because of the complimentary natures of the male and the female. For these reasons, this relationship is deemed to be most efficient in terms of the usefulness to the seeker. This is not to say that this is the only possibility available. It is certainly the most common type of partnership among your peoples. There are other partnerships that may be extremely successful, of between members of the same sex or between groups of more than two. However, in larger numbers, while the energy generated will be greater and if properly focused will be extremely effective in the polarization seeking processes, with greater numbers it is much more difficult to maintain the degree of harmony necessary for such focusing. Therefore, the partnership between one man and one woman is most often chosen, not because it has any particular moral preeminence, shall we say, over any other type of relationship; but because, in many senses, it is the simplest, even with all its many complexities.

The desire that most among your people feel for this type of relationship has its basis in the realization of the deep self that all are one. It is, therefore, a striving for unification. In this relation, you are aware primarily of separation rather than unity. The grossness of the physical bodies makes this unavoidably apparent to you in your lives and daily activities. Thus, the sexual union between male and female may be seen to be the greatest attempt that may be made to overcome this most obvious of barriers; and, as such, is also a symbolic permeating of them. The illusion of separateness evidences itself only in the other levels of the ways each views itself as a mind/body/spirit complex on whatever level of awareness each has, as being separate from an other such mind/body/spirit complex. [Inaudible].

The fact that each person’s thoughts and feelings are not obvious to others except on a fairly surface level, and to a greater or lesser extent, depending on the intent to which such are broadcast and the receptibility of those perceived as such, also serves to perpetuate the illusion of separateness. This barrier, as you are aware, gradually is permeated as the social memory complex forms, and the thoughts of one are available to all as are the resources of all to all.

There are many efforts among your peoples at this time to attempt to share more of the self with others, and again, this is taking place on many levels. The giving of the self merely to another or to many others in the sexual energy sharing is one means by which this is attempted. The progress of your peoples in a technological sense of developing communication networks over your planet’s surface is another way in which this is attempted. And in the sharing of self with self, as it takes place on an individual basis, is the most [inaudible] whereby this is accomplished. There are those among your peoples wherein the process of opening the self to another self seems natural and is fairly easy. For others, it is extremely difficult. There are many reasons for this. There are many wanderers on your planet at this time who know quite well this sense of unity and openness they shared elsewhere and have an innate sense of the appropriateness of this, and, therefore, attempt to manifest it in their lives. Likewise, there are many of third density on this planet who, in reaching toward fourth density characteristics, are becoming aware of this trend, shall we say, also in making the same attempt. These attempts are greeted sometimes with open arms and sometimes with hostility and violence, as there are still many, many of your people who are not open to this openness, shall we say. As each seeker attempts to know the self to a greater extent and to make connections with other selves, each must be aware of the possibilities of infringement in this area.

All these attempts at greater communication stem from that underlying awareness of the oneness of all, which is an [inaudible] for the committed relationship between male and female.

The strong attraction or compulsion when they feel for such a relationship stems from this awareness and also from the magnetic connection possible between male and female as being complimentary energies. The difficulties with this type of relationship are many. The causes stem from sources within the self and within their society’s training process of each. The problems in this type of relationship or any other will stem from expectations which are held by the self which are not being met. Each, in feeling the strong attraction toward those types of relationships, will develop certain biases which are molded by the society to which each belongs; that is, the views of family, friends and culture. The expectations one has are deeply rooted so that one may not even be consciously aware of their existence. However, if at any time a difficulty arises, upon its examination there will always be found an expectation of some sort that is not being met. This is not to suggest that one should have no expectations, it is merely an analysis of how things work, shall we say. And that, therefore, to be aware of the expectations one has in a given situation, is the first step in dealing with whatever difficulties may arise. Once one is aware of one’s expectations, this may be worked with and perhaps adjusted if found to be unsatisfactory.

The great difficulties with the committed relationship between the male and female, we would suggest, therefore, are due to the sometimes extremely stringent expectations placed upon such a relationship by the individual and the culture which the individual functions within. We would urge each to consider these factors and the question at a later time if additional or more specific information is desired. We feel that these thoughts are sufficient for a beginning of ponderance at this time.

We transfer at this time to the one known as Jim. This instrument was to take the [offer,] shall we say, and to continue with the contact we have made. We leave this instrument now in the love and the light and transfer to the one known as Jim. We are those of Q’uo.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo and greet each again in love and in light through this instrument. We would ask if there may be any queries at this time to which we may speak.


I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. We also have observed that this particular session of working has been free of attempts of intrusion by those of negative polarization, and can only surmise that the continued strong desire of this group to seek and to provide itself with those aids to protection that it has learned to use have made this group [inaudible] of lesser interest to those of negative polarization, for if these entities are not able in some degree to control the proceedings of such a working, this lack of ability to control tends to depolarize and reduce the metaphysical power of such entities. Thus, they find the need for retreat and for the regathering of their polarity while keeping, shall we say, an eye on this group for any possible target of opportunity that might present itself and offer an easier entrance into the circle or any entity within it.

Is there another query, my sister?


I am Q’uo, and we would agree that the conflict of which you speak is one situation which has attracted a great deal of interest of those of the negative polarization. For at such a time and in such a situation, entities of negative polarity may find a great many opportunities to enhance their own power by the manipulation of those energies which are already strongly biased in the direction of control and manipulation. However, those entities which have stationed themselves with this group in previous times are utilizing not only that means but others as well to regain the polarity that has been lost by the inability to control, in any sufficient degree, the workings of this group. If there were, present within this circle, an opening that allowed negative entry, this would be attempted, no matter what other conditions prevailed upon the surface of your planet, for negatively-oriented entities are quite willing and able to undertake more than one task, if you will, in any of your diurnal periods and would find it easy to participate in the depolarization of your group if this was possible, as well as utilizing any other avenues for the increasing of the negative polarity.

Is there any further query, my sister?


I am Q’uo. And we are also grateful for this blessing, my sister. Is there another query at this time?


I am Q’uo. And it appears that we have exhausted not only the instrument, but the queries for the nonce. We do not speak of this instrument. We are very happy to have been able to speak through the one known as K, and are aware that our exercising of this instrument may be somewhat wearing upon it as it is already quite fatigued. But we hope that the instrument will take heart and feel the joy of being exercised and working in a manner which continues to impress us with its dedication and its meticulous attention to detail.

The one known as K is working quite efficiently as an instrument and we do not feel it is any longer appropriate to describe her as a new instrument. This one is gaining experience [inaudible].

At this time we shall take our leave of this instrument and group, leaving each, as always, in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Adonai. Adonai.