[This session was preceded by a period of tuning and meditation.]
[new speaker] Aaron
Greetings to you, my dear ones. I am Aaron. Q’uo and I are practicing being polite and each waiting for the other to speak first. Our hearts are full of the loving energy that you send out, full of the joy of your meeting. I wish that you could see with our eyes the radiance growing out of this room.
Barbara, K and I spoke a bit in the car about what subject matter you might wish to discuss tonight, about what direction you might wish this to go. Of course, the questions must come out of the deepest questions of your hearts, but I also want to remind you that what we share is not new. You know that we are not teaching you anything, only reminding you of that which you already know.
For those who might be drawn to read this work at a later time, I feel that the greatest value lies not in our conceptual answers to your questions, but in this shared energy itself. You are approaching a time when Earth will become fourth density, when many who are presently third-density energy will graduate from this plane. You are approaching a time when each of you will be fully telepathic to others, when there will be no holding back and no clinging to another, but just sharing that which is. At that point there still will be an emotional body. You will still feel emotions but there will be equanimity about that which arises, and thus, no need to fling it at another; total compassion toward what you feel from another, no fear or closing, no sense of being attacked by another’s pain but compassion to that pain.
What is it like to be that way? Each of you is approaching that more and more in your life so that now it is possible for five humans and two spirits to just hang out together, to enjoy each other’s energy. The humans have reached a level of consciousness where, when there is some reactivity, it is noticed quickly and worked with, with love. I wonder what inspiration that might give to those who walk this path and aspire to reach that point where they can share so openly with others without the heart closing, without the reactivity that may lead to pain to beings.
Thus, while the content may be of intellectual interest and also help to inspire and teach in some ways, it feels to me that our very working together is of supreme importance. To that end, to whatever degree it is natural, I would suggest as much of a moving dialogue as possible rather than long talks. When two of you converse, you understand when the other is ready to speak. You finish that immediate thought and stop. So, if the principle known as Q’uo finds this appropriate, I would like to see our working together move in that direction as much as is possible.
We tossed many topics around in the car, as I am sure you have here. I feel not only Q’uo ready to speak here, but many of you. What are your thoughts? That is all.
[new speaker] Q’uo
I am Q’uo. We, too, greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator.
We approach this meeting with the greatest of joy and echo the one known as Aaron’s exclamation of delight at the beauty of the energies of this circle of seeking. How much of each of you is brought together in new ways each time there is a meeting, a joining of not only minds and heart, soul and spirit, but seemingly humdrum contraptions you are carried about in! The strong effect of physical nearness is its possibility for spontaneous communication, a combustion of spirits searching, sharing and encouraging each other together.
We pause for enough time to elapse that all may sense and feel the connections of harmonizing energy swirling circularly about this group. Feel the aliveness of this fresh-forged unity. We pause.
[A pause for group meditation.]
In gratitude, we of Q’uo ask for a first query.
[new speaker] R
Would Q’uo suggest a way of looking at turmoil in one’s life that is very emotional, to find a way to balance all that seems to be negative and pressuring, happening seemingly at the same time? Is there a general principle that can be extracted from feelings unique to me that others would enjoy too?
[new speaker] Q’uo
I am Q’uo. The beginning of a more friendly environment is light. When one sits in darkness, one has no perspective, no reference points. The feeling of claustrophobia surrounds the timid soul. So it is with emotional and spiritual feelings that are dark. Like the body itself, the spirit feels overwhelmed by dark emotions. Yet how to lighten the darkness and the burden of concern? We move to Aaron. I am Q’uo.
[new speaker] Aaron
My dear ones, first you must look at the erroneous assumption that the turmoil and darkness are your enemy. When you experience turmoil, that is just turmoil. When you experience fear, that is just fear. Then there is the secondary reaction to that turmoil or fear. It is not fear that closes your heart and sends you into the darkness, but your reaction to that turmoil or fear. Can you see the difference?
It takes a great deal of practice in awareness to begin to notice the process. First is the arising of fear. With that first notice of fear, you are still in neutral about it. You are not frightened of the fear. Then you move to the stage of feeling attacked. At that point, there is a change in the chemical balance of the body and a change in the vibrational frequency of the light body. It is seen by me as a constriction in your energy field so that the light that was moving freely through you and out of you and into you suddenly becomes trapped in this physical vessel, bouncing back and forth, truly in turmoil. It looks a bit like a pinball machine with the ball going bing, bing, bing, bing, bing!
You are not here to get rid of anything in your life. If turmoil or fear is what is experienced—confusion, whatever—you do not need to get rid of it, but to learn how to greet it as a friend, to allow the experience of it with your heart kept as open as it can be; no judgment if it is closing a bit, but consciously making an effort to stay open. Then the aversion to the emotion does not cause closing. Then all the old-mind matters, the remembrances in this body and other bodies of this kind of fear, the projections into the future, none of that becomes part of the issue. You are just here with this moment of fear.
Are you familiar with those sticky burrs that catch on your pants’ legs as you walk through the field? The pants are the material of your fear. The burrs are all the added burdens of the past and the future. As they knot together it becomes an unworkable mass, and that is what closes you into darkness. Being mindful of that pattern in yourself, you find that you can ask yourself to stay in this moment with this very workable and much lighter bit of fear or turmoil or confusion and allow the experience of it. It takes courage. It takes sharp awareness.
When you do this, you come back to your connection with the light. This is not something you have to grasp at or create in yourself. You are not, for example, naturally depressed or frightened. The lightness, the openness, the loving-kindness, the generosity and patience, the energy, the courage. Those are all qualities that are natural to you. They are small seeds within you. But if you take a small seed, put it in a pot and then put it in a dark closet, it cannot grow. It needs light.
Your mindfulness of your reactions to fear is a way of opening the closet door and inviting in light, a statement, “Fear is not who I am. I am experiencing fear at this moment, experiencing confusion, experiencing perhaps the outgrowths of fear as anger or greed, but that is not who I am.” As you learn to do this, you start to see that each of those catalysts is in fact a gift offering you the chance to practice just what you most need to practice, which is how to be with a painful catalyst without pulling the closet door closed behind yourself, without needing to seek that protection; in essence, how to allow yourself to stay open and vulnerable. This is your deepest connection with the light, this deep knowing: “In essence, I am spirit. I am divine and connected with the Divine. The body may be vulnerable, but I cannot be harmed if my heart is open and loving.”
This is the way of opening the door: remembering your connection. Through countless times of practice, you deepen your ability to keep your heart open no matter what comes. When you heart is open, you no longer have the illusion of being in darkness. Rather, the turmoil, the anger or greed is seen more clearly as the illusion that deepens the sense of separation.
I am not suggesting that it is easy, but it is workable. My brother/sister Q’uo wishes to speak. That is all.
[new speaker] Q’uo
I am Q’uo and give thanks to the one known as Aaron.
As you consider the words of excellent advice, you may wonder that you seemingly already knew that which has been addressed. The question then becomes, “Why can I not put these truths into practice?”
Consider that you have two intelligences. Your first intelligence and the one which you largely use is the intelligence which came with your physical vehicle. The second intelligence is of another order. You are one of an infinite number of stations, shall we say, that in computer language runs a metaprogram which you would call a primary distortion of the One who is all: infinite Mind or intelligent Infinity. The answers come from essences bathed in this second environment, this mind with its perfect infinity, its absolute awareness. The hitch lies in running the answer back into the first animal intelligence.
There is an excellent connection between the metamind and the individual idiosyncratic mind, which you carry just for this incarnational experience. It, however, is a connection made deep within the roots of the first mind. This lies in the domain you call the subconscious. This connection has been characterized as the still, small voice. And still it is, silent to a profound level. Small it is, if it is evaluated by intellectual standards; for the metaprogramming, shall we say, of Love that is the Logos, is that which enfolds and becomes one with the listener to this blessed, silent communion.
How often has each sat to meditate and felt no realizable touch of the great Mind. Yet stubbornly, again and again, midst self-implications for being foolish and shallow do doubting seekers such as all here go again to the table of silent heaven’s fare and hold up the self like a dish, saying, “Feed me. However this works, I wish to be one with this bread of heaven that is found when least expected in the course of regular meditation.” The dark feeling from judging and fearing the emotions experienced is not easily lightened by pursuing logical, data-consuming thoughts and opinions. Far more skillful is the seeker which decides to move from the incarnational program into the overarching metaprogram.
Do you see, my brother, that you already are aware of perceptions concerning fear and are stuck, shall we say, more in how to place the truth in a position which will actually affect that dark-feeling mind?
[A pause while Q’uo’s question is considered.]
We gather by the silence of the one known as R that he may not precisely see our query to him. That is all right. We speak to the generality of your condition.
We also have two kinds of mind as we have incarnations also. We share in the wonderment that all our seeming knowledge does not automatically become manifested in our thoughts and actions. It is, however, the more skillful use of the concern about dark-seeming situations to do something like that which we did to begin this session of working: We all sat and felt the spontaneous circulation of harmonizing and encouraging vibrations, each offering love to each, each feeling the love of each.
In times of ghastly turmoil there is the incarnational instinct to cringe, to back away or to explode into defensive action. Remembrance of an essential moment of flowing harmony moves the mind’s eye to gaze and move toward that subconscious linkage into All-Mind, the spontaneous, essential feeling rather than intellectual thought processes which yields a true moment of the joy of Love itself, being placed like the light in the closet which gives you the courage to remain quietly observant, neither running away in the mind nor grasping the problem seen with such constrictive and fearing bonds.
The one known as Aaron would say, “View the situation with neither attachment nor aversion.” Do you wish to query further, my brother?
[new speaker] R
Yes, with my intellectual mind. I would like to thank both of you for offering your thoughts. I wish to give others in the circle a chance to ask questions first. Thank you.
[new speaker] Aaron
This is Aaron. I wish to return to Q’uo’s clear statement that your heart understands and your brain, the human incarnation, cannot follow. It is this precisely that gives you such grief, because in the wisdom of your heart you understand your connection, that this, what Q’uo has called, metaprogram is the reality and that the brain’s frantic fear is illusion. And yet, you find yourself moving to the illusion. At that point anger often arises at the self. At some level there is a knowing: “I am responding to this mindless illusion. I am like a mouse on a treadmill and I cannot get off.” The only way to reconnect yourself with reality is to notice the judgment that is arising and return love to the self, to have love for this being that is running around on a fear-created treadmill so that it cannot hear the deeper wisdom, that small, still voice within.
Simply put, the light is always there. When you find yourself in darkness, you must ask, “Why is it that there is this illusion of darkness? Why have I closed myself in?” You are light. You know that you are light. Yet to fully express that in the human incarnation is a very, very difficult thing. And this is precisely the way it needs to be. If it were easy, what would you be learning? I am not suggesting that your lives need to be difficult or painful, but if you were already perfect you would not be here in the incarnation. If the heart was always open and there was no reverberation to the chords of fear, then you would not need to be here in incarnative state.
When you notice the arising of that fear, if it can become a catalyst to have compassion for this being that is feeling fear, it begins to crack open the door—just a tiny bit of compassion, just a tiny bit of light coming in. It serves as a reminder: “I am stuck in the illusion. This is reality, this tiny sliver of light. Follow it. Trust it.”
As my brother/sister reminded you, you have two intelligences. Habit has dictated to you that you follow the human intelligence while in incarnation, and you become very unused to following the higher intelligence. The physical body has built up the catalysts of so many lifetimes into habitual, unskillful patterns. We talk about this fight-or-flight idea. As my brother/sister said, you cringe at it or strike back defensively. But that is not natural to you, not necessary to you. It is learned behavior. It is precisely that learned behavior that serves as the tool for learning. You cannot simply decree, “I will not run in fear. I will not fight back.” Yes, you can develop a strong degree of self-control, but that does not change the harmony or lack of harmony in the experience. That does not bring in love.
Can you have some compassion for the being who has developed this mindless pattern of fleeing or fighting? Can you begin to understand that your awareness of that pattern is the beginning of the path free of it? The pattern in itself is not a problem. Yes, it leads to unwholesome karma. It leads to hurt for others. In that sense, of course, it is a problem. But when you relate to it as a problem, you relate to it as something to fight against, to get rid of: “I am not going to act this way anymore.” That is just more judgment to yourself, more hatred. You are involved in the resultant fear and not attending to the causes. When instead you see this being whose fearful brain has developed this fight-or-flight mechanism and feel some kindness for the being caught in a very tight place, then you allow yourself the possibility of hearing the deeper voice within, of hearing the deeper wisdom that whispers, “You are safe. Keep the heart open.”
There is something else. When we know something is good for us but we do not do it, it is logical to ask why. When I say that the fight-or-flight mechanism is not natural to you but learned behavior, it was learned so many lifetimes ago when the creature that you were sought to defend itself. To continue to survive and do what is necessary to survive is natural to you, so you learned unskillful behavior in order to allow the continuity of that particular life form. As soon as fear arose, there was a sense of separation and you lost the clarity that you were connected to every other life form. Instead it became a protection of the small ego self. This was part of the distortion of self-awareness.
You have been running with that pattern ever since, each of you. Your work here is not to get rid of anything in yourself, not to change anything in yourself, but to begin to know who you truly are and to allow that reality to penetrate so that you can more fully live it rather than living the illusion. You need the illusion. It is what helps to point out the reality. It is the practice with the illusion that strengthens the reality.
By way of example, if you never knew fear—”My needs might not be met”—a fear that leads to greed, to hoarding and clinging, then what would connection and generosity mean? If you never had the sense, “I could be hurt. My needs might not be met,” then of course giving would be very easy. There would be no sense of self or other, so you would give and give and give. It would be very beautiful, but what have you learned? You are here to grow, so you are constantly handed those catalysts which you need for that growth. The illusion is the catalyst. That is why you have this “veil of forgetting” that separates you from clear seeing of your spiritual reality when you take birth. Otherwise, the incarnative state would be simply a matter of self-control: “How strong can I be in this situation? How determined?” But you are here to learn faith, not self-control; to learn love, not the expression of willpower.
I said that you have learned the behavior long, long ago that you needed that fight-or-flight mechanism to defend the self. Now, when you are in that dark closet seeing only the existence of the egocentric self—”me against them” separateness—when you are in that space, then it is very difficult to see that what you are experiencing is illusion. You stay defended.
So, first there must be the awareness: “This is defended behavior. This is casting me deeper into the illusion of separation.” Then you may notice the judgment arising: “I should not do that.” But, my dear one, if this were a small creature, a squirrel perhaps, and you chased after it with a stick and it turned and ran, would you say, “It should not do that. It should trust me”? If such a small creature attacked you in its fear, would you say, “It should not do that. It should trust me”? Or would your heart reach out to this small creature whose fear was so intense that it had to flee or attack? You would feel compassion for it.
Can you look at yourself with that same compassion, simply seeing the patterns of so many lifetimes and knowing that now you have reached a level of consciousness, a level of growth, where you no longer need to blindly follow those patterns? But the freedom from reactivity cannot grow out of the judgment of the self that has been reactive, only out of compassion to that self. Compassion allows the light in, allows the remembering of the deeper reality of the metaprogram of love. That is all.
[new speaker] Q’uo
I am Q’uo. As the teacher known as Aaron states, you are in incarnation to grow from the inside of the nearly always, somewhat dark interior of the mental and emotional closet. You may question the probability of achieving growth; however, you cannot avoid growing. The illusion works with mechanical force, call it friction, wearing away at the sensibility. All you need be concerned with in terms of growing is that you honor and respect that which is occurring, focusing more and more lucidly on the delineated structure of the present moment. You, in observing the present moment, are doing all you can with the incarnational mind. Once observed, the catalyst will grow acute. There need be no further action except to turn and bless the incarnation with all its meandering, winding destinies and unexpected occurrences. We ask you to cast a warm and loving attention on yourself in the incarnational closet of flesh and limitation of viewpoint.
Into this configuration open the inner memory to the light of companionship, the light of memories which contain joy and the use of affirmative imageries such as the light of the sun dancing upon the water. This is how the metamind thinks. It cannot be termed logical. To this mind sunshine is a song, a poem, a dance, a zephyr of cool air on a hot day. So it is that many find sunshine in the midst of confusion and self-compassion in the midst of judgment by singing, as does this instrument, reading inspired writings, gazing at visual and tactile art created out of those moments of clear visionary sunlight shining through the artist to show what love is, and more, how terribly perfectly unified all is. As the plangent tones of a truly heard piece of music pierce the incarnational mind with sweetness, so can you use these non-logical images and practices to enhance and multiply the effect of silent meditation and communion.
You are light to others. Others are light to you. Beyond all else you are loved. It takes the breath away to, for even an instant, ponder the totality of this love; and it is love of All-Self by All-Self. It merely flows through you. You need not deserve it. You cannot own it. It is your real identity.
May each smile when next each discovers the self sitting in that emotional, closeted darkness. Yes, my friends, smile and reach the finger of attention to flick on the light of non-judgment and compassion.
We are those of Q’uo, and we leave this group at this time, rejoicing in being once again able to share the teaching which teaches us so much. With the master known as Aaron, may we rejoice that each gentle being who is here, has come. How miraculous the alphabet soup of shared life! Love one another and release that terrible need to find the sunshine while holding on to the limited point of view of the incarnational mind. We leave you in love and in light. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Thank you and farewell. Adonai.
[new speaker] Aaron
This is Aaron. I would like to offer a few brief, practical tools for your consideration. As my brother/sister of light said, you may picture yourself in that dark closet and have compassion for this being who is afraid of the dark. It may help to take it further, to think perhaps of a child who is afraid of a dog. You walk down the street holding the child’s hand, and suddenly there is a large dog in your path and the child cowers behind you. If you push that child and say, “Now pat the dog. You must,” the child may conquer his fear enough to pat the dog, but he is never going to enjoy patting the dog. He never will choose to do it if he is not pushed. Or you may say to the child, “I see how afraid you are. I think this looks like a nice dog. He is big. I am going to pat him. We have become friends.” And you pat him, shake his paw perhaps. The child watches with no pressure. It may make take a dozen meetings before the child is ready to come up and pat the dog himself.
You offer patience and compassion to the child. Offer yourself that same patience and compassion. Know how many lifetimes it has taken you to build up these patterns of fear and separation. When you acknowledge your own suffering, your own fear, and greet it with compassion instead of judgment, then you offer yourself a pathway back to the light. It is something that you can practice constantly in all the small catalysts of your life, the moments when somebody says or does something that irritates or offends you, just the brief moments of impatience. You do not need to practice it with the very heavy emotions. You practice with the small things. You would not ask the child to pat an elephant or a tiger before he has learned to pat the dog.
Then, of course, there are ways of bringing more awareness of light into yourself. One that I would suggest as a useful exercise for many people is to plant a garden in your mind, to think of all of those small sprouts: generosity, patience, loving-kindness, so many, many, many more ... Some of them are strong flowers in yourself already and some of them you see as small seeds. Choose one that you can watch in yourself.
Now, it is very hard to measure such a one as loving-kindness, so you might want to choose one that is more easily seen in its physical form, one such as patience or generosity. You notice how often you are impatient, how often you are frightened of giving. Do you notice how often you are patient and generous? I do not speak only of material generosity here, but generosity with your time, with your energy.
Begin to watch just one small sprout in yourself. When there is momentum to be patient or to be generous, for example, and then you hear that small voice that says, “No, I am afraid,” acknowledge it. Not, “You should not be afraid,” but, “I hear your fear. It is okay.” Just the way you do with the small child: “I hear your fear.” And then make the skillful decision, if it is at all possible: “I am going to be patient. I am going to be present with the fear that says, ‘My needs will not be met here,’ or, ‘I could be hurt,’ and I am going to ask myself to be patient or to be generous. And then I am going to watch the results.”
As you move into practicing that on a daily basis, you find that you can change the old-mind patterns, that you can be present with fear and reach for the light switch, that you can keep connected to that deepest truth and beauty that is you.
Another tool that comes to mind: This is an ancient Tibetan meditation practice called Tonglen. It is a very simple meditation. I would ask in closing if you would join me in it. First, simply be aware of yourself sitting in a cylinder of light. Breathe in. Feel the light descending through the crown chakra and down to the heart center. Exhale and release it, just the way it came in. Inhale, light descending to the heart ... exhale, release ... Feel yourself expanding with that light. Open to that light. Notice if there is any resistance to letting it in and soften around that resistance.
With this light filling you, bring to your heart and mind the image of a being who is suffering. It may be someone you know or a stranger across the globe; not a whole world of suffering, just one person or one life-form of whatever sort you choose. Breathing in this time, allow that light and loving energy to move to the heart center; and then, breathing out, direct it to that being who is suffering. Breathe in light and love ... direct it out to the being who is suffering. Inhale light. Exhale to where it is most needed, just allowing that light and loving energy to channel through you ... allowing that being’s suffering to touch your heart with the wish, “You are suffering. May you find peace. May you find an end to your suffering. May you be healed,” allowing yourself to be a channel for that loving energy. Please try it for a moment on your own and then we will go on to the last step.
[A pause while the group meditates.]
That being’s suffering is so heavy. You may begin to see it as a dark cloud of blackness—a heavy, sticky kind of blackness. Your good wishes are felt, but the darkness is so heavy that they can not fully penetrate. We expand the meditation now. Inhale love and light. Exhale, releasing it to that being who is suffering. Now, inhale that darkness that you see, letting that, too, run through your heart, but not holding it in you in any way. You are simply the channel for its release. Exhale and release it to God, to ground of Being, which is far more skilled and able to handle that heaviness than you are. Inhale love and light, and release it to the one who is suffering. Inhale the pain and release it to the Eternal. Inhale light. Direct it to where it is needed. Inhale that suffering in whatever form you envision it. Notice any resistance to letting it touch you, to letting it come into your heart, and soften around that and then release it.
As you practice this meditation, let it bring you back into your connection with all that is, let it remind you that you truly are a channel for love, for light, for healing, and that you are also a channel through which suffering may find its release, that those who are your brothers and sisters may not carry that weight unsupported. I am going to be quiet now for several minutes and ask you just to practice this on your own.
[A pause while the group practices.]
When you feel alone, frightened and in darkness, make the conscious choice to open the door of illusion which holds you confined in darkness, and to bring in light. I know no better way of bringing in light to yourself than to wish to share that light with others. It helps you to know who you are and to remind you of your connection with all that is. The serving of others in that way, the joyous willingness to serve, helps connect you to the light and divinity in yourself. It helps you express that joy that begins to move through you. With that increasing lightness, the clouds that surround you become more and more transparent and the storm begins to blow away.
It has been a joy to share with all of you this evening and, as always, a deep gift to share energy and thought with my brother/sister of Q’uo. I thank you all for your joyous participation in this circle and for the light and love that each of you brings to your search. My love to you all. That is all.