Group question: The question this afternoon has to do with the general concept of how do we deal with loss, in a conscious manner, so that we are able to get the most benefit out of the experience? How do we either exercise our will or move our will aside or find a harmonious way of using a sense of grief of loss, of separation that comes when relationship ends, a relationship that has been emotionally satisfying and nurturing for us? That is the specific question, and, in general, how do we allow the greater will to move through our lives so that our small will, that may or may not be informed, can become a part of the movement of the pattern of our incarnation that brings us eventually to the realization of the unity and acceptance?

(Carla channeling)

Greetings. We are those of Q’uo. We come to you in the love and in the light of the one infinite source and ending of All. How privileged we feel to be called to speak to your group at this occasion and to have the blessing of blending our vibrations with this circle of seeking.

Your query involves the merging of two kinds of illusion. When one is dealing with those deep emotional memories and desires that stem from the roots of the being, one is dealing with the infinite and eternal consciousness that each of you is. When one is asking about the manifestations of these desires in the present illusion one is dealing with the third-density mind of the physical vehicle which offers you the opportunity for incarnation. The first mind is often called the subconscious mind, although more accurate would be the term roots of mind. The latter mind is the—we correct this instrument—in the first mind we find the roots of mind to be the location which you may consider these thoughts and emotions to stem from. However, the higher subconscious and conscious mind are involved in all mergings of these deeper desires and emotions with the moment-by-moment transient mind of new actual experience which is being observed by the entity which you are.

Therefore, we first ask your attention be drawn to the situation whereby most of the feelings which run through the stream of consciousness are dealing with the surface of the passing experience and observations which enable you to use, to control, and to shape the passing experience in a manner which conforms to your preferences. However, like deep melodies which surface again and again, those deeper energies excited and born from the entrance into the conscious mind, of fated or destined persons or events, cause the experience being overtaken by these deep desires which then move into a position of dominance in the mind and which then color for a period of time the passing experience with the deep tapestries of emotions and desires which you have created for this incarnational experience in order to learn the lessons of love which can only be taught by moving through the catalyst of entities or events processing themselves through the day-to-day experience.

As had been discussed previous to this sitting, one of these portions of personal destiny is sometimes the relationship which seems to be over. Now, in this case the relationship is over in the framework of the conscious mind of the entity which lives and dies within the flesh and personality of this incarnation. However, the relationship is anything but over from the standpoint of learning the lessons of love, for which reason both entities within this relationship chose to meet, to exchange desires, and to part, thus only beginning and setting up the conditions under which the lesson may be learned in a way which creates a lasting bias in consciousness which will polarize the consciousness that is infinite within you towards the unity with the love and light which is the Source and Father of all that there is.

Let us look at the experience narrated within your the holy work called the Bible of the one known as Jesus the Christ. When this entity was upon the hard wood of the cross with arms outstretched to welcome its destiny there were two occasions when it is recorded that this entity dealt with relationships. In the first exchange a criminal which wished to turn from its behavior and find a deeper desire asked the teacher known as Jesus to pray for it, and the teacher spoke without hesitation. Dying though it was, it turned in compassion and acceptance and faith and said “This day thou shalt be with me in paradise.” There was no confusion because the teacher was suffering, for this entity has learned hope and desire only to surrender the will to the will of its Father, as it thought of the infinite Creator.

In the second exchange the teacher viewing its own mother pointed with name to a beloved friend and in a brief sentence realigned relationship away from accidents, shall we say, of birth and adjusted this relationship for a loving and compassionate opportunity for both mother and friend, as each then might comfort the other. From the sorrow of the apparent loss in both cases there may be seen to be an absence of fear, of self-pity, and an abundance and acceptance of the way destiny moves.

Let us move back onto the terra firma now, and gaze at the situation of lost love. Now the lover of the past is a memory. Were it a lesson learned, the memory would not come up to disquiet or sadden one. That it haunts one is a good indication that there is a deep and destined lesson of love to learn. There are three ways one might work upon this lesson. Firstly, there is the work of forgiveness. Most seekers are far more willing to forgive the other self in a relationship than to forgive the self, whether the self feels that it could have changed destiny by an action or feels that it could have changed destiny by eschewing an action. The case is that often the lack of forgiveness of the self stems from the belief that things ended wrongly. May we offer our opinion that there are no true accidents or mistakes in the metaphysical life, only opportunities. Therefore, the greater part of the work of acceptance and forgiveness is allowing the self to feel all right, that and no more, simply all right.

The second way of working upon moving into a better framework from which to view and work with deep sorrows in a life path is to focus upon the opportunities for mulling over the treasure gained during this destiny-filled relationship. That which one did not have before one has now, a center of energy, a vortex of power absent before has now been made, allowing the merging of deep life path needs with the day-to-day manifestations of destiny and accident.

You see, the sorrows of the lost love are not a negative quality but rather a praiseworthy, hollowing out and deepening of the capacity to love without expectation of any return. The reason that the lost love haunts the everyday experience is that there is still much work to do in praising and seeing the treasure in the learning of how to love so deeply in the first place. Only in this kind of sorrow does the incarnate spirit become tempered and transparent to infinity. Only in the darkness of seemingly negative emotions of loss and limitation does the deep prayer, the soulful song of love take wing and sweep the incarnate being to a point of view where the breadth of love, once felt for one entity, may be turned at world dying and yearning for your deep love and compassion. Thusly, one does well not to turn from sorrow but to turn towards it, to merge with it, and to carry this loss as a shining ornament which honors the infinite Creator.

The third thing which is skillful to do when dealing with any seeming negativity is simply to, as this instrument would say, “Praise God from whom all blessings flow.” We would change it in this case to say instead “Praise the Creator from whom all sorrows flow.” The turning from the self and the concerns, whether shallow or deep, of the self to the infinite Creator in praise and thanksgiving is an orientation in intelligent infinity, that is, in the Creator, or what this instrument would call Christ consciousness. This consciousness is the essential portion of both the consciousness which is infinite and the incarnate being with the biocomputer which makes so many hasty judgments. Calling forth in the conscious mind the holy, worshipful attitude in which only the Creator exists reestablishes a center within the being which merges unconscious and conscious beings together in a useful and balanced way.

It is not in any way easy to do that which we have suggested. The more intensive the desire has been to find love the more intensive the experience of love, the more the yearning for love, the more it will seem very, very difficult to so center the mind viewpoint that all these acceptances and forgivenesses and reorientations may have their just process. Therefore, we urge each to see that this is the work of not one but many incarnational experiences to deepen the source within during the incarnation. In a star-crossed, shall we say, relationship both entities, whatever the outcome in this experience, have been working with this balance for many incarnations. But allow the normalcy of day-to-day experience to move you until the next occasion when this haunting desire for a known or an unknown person or relationship looms so largely before the conscious mind that it colors all of one’s thought. Then see this occasion as the treasure it is. Let the fears fall, let the heart speak all it wishes until its well of words and threnaldy of pain is fully expressed. Honor and respect the deep emotions and give them full expression. Rather than feeling them as an ending of a real life experience and only a memory allow the feelings to become living. Birth them with your awareness of the beauty of love. You have desired truly, you have loved truly. This you have experienced. It may now be separated from the constraint of belonging to one entity and the self and become that potential for love and for acceptance and compassion which may be universalized by being aware that this love is an energy unto itself.

You are able to accelerate the process of spiritual evolution whereby you are learning from the deep expressions of personal destiny and in all you do. To offer thanks and praise in any moment is your way of moving quickly, instantaneously to the mind or consciousness of unity wherein you may see that there is no loss, there is no lack, there is no separation, even in the case of a loved one which has died or been permanently separated. This love is an entity unto itself, a vortex which may pull forth either a bitterness of a judged loss or a smooth vine of a judged treasure. It is always your choice.

Two things before we open this meeting to other queries. We are error-prone and request that each use any thought each may from that which we say and leave the rest behind. And also, to accelerate the process whereby one is more observant of that merging process between deep emotions and day-to-day experience, it is well to move into silent communion with the one infinite Creator, listening to the silent voice of love unlimited and inexpressible. To spend time wisely, spend some each day with the Creator.

May we ask if there are any additional queries at this time?


We find that there are no queries upon this subject in addition to that which we have said. Therefore we would now ask if there be any queries upon other subject that we may address briefly at this time?

I have one about the trumpet. I would like to know about the functioning, or how to get it to really work.

I am Q’uo, and we may speak in general upon this subject, my sister. We thank you for this opportunity. When one has opened the channel to useful work with entities of the inner planes which move into the energy web of your planet and yourself, one has basically established a way of being of service as a tuned instrument. When an instrument is played it is not the instrument alone which must be excellent. The excellence of the instrument being assured, then there is the allowing of the best possible, shall we say, contracted or focused line or channel between the two and through the instrument so that the most compelling music may be played.

In working with the energies which make the trumpet move, the voices speak, the (sounds like “aports”) appear, and the other materialization phenomena which you are familiar with, the instrument which you are must be activated in a certain way. This is like unto the polishing of the inner surface of a reed, for instance, so that the energy moving through this reed may come forth or materialize in the manifested world with unabated vigor or energy. Any, shall we say, rough spots, any blockings, any ways in which the inner surface is not smooth will baffle and frustrate the energy or breath moving through it and add limit [to] the materialization phenomenon.

There is a kind of energy which allows the materialization phenomena to occur, and this lively energy is one with each is familiar. However, it is not this energy which moves the trumpet. This lively energy is expended in poising the self without let or hindrance, without any reserve in such a way that the spirit moving through you, as the instrument, may use that generated potential for materialization in a crystallized and finely focused way. It is as though your personal, deeply felt commitment and substantive energy given to this liveliness of will may be seen as a broad spectrum potential which the breath of spirit moving through your vortex of self may pick up more and more powerfully the less tightly you personally are holding onto this energy.

We might refer the mind to the Zen parable this instrument has within its experience of the archer who spends his entire concentration upon the focusing perfectly the visualization of the target, but does not at any point while drawing the bow and releasing it open the eyes to look at the physical target. The careful medium’s focus of attention is upon this static, permanent ideal of bow, of the powerful drawing of the bow, and of the releasing of the arrow, not when the personal will suggests but when the breath of spirit creates that choice.

Thusly, we suggest the encouragement of generation of this deep desire and this lively will, and then the utter and focused surrender of this and all gifts and talents to the one infinite Creator, that the breath of spirit may move through you in such a crystallized way that the personal energies become universal. In a way, it is the same objectification of deep emotions of which we spoke in talking of relationships, honoring the ability of the self to become capable of carrying those communications or attitudes which may benefit all people, and then surrendering this to the highest and best spiritual contact which is within your energies and which comes to you from that portion of the Creator, shall we say, which embodies for you your highest service.

May we answer further, my sister?

Do you pick up that I have the ability to do that?

I am Q’uo. It is our opinion that there is within each this potential, and it may be further said that deep desires are there not by mistake. The gifts and talents one has are not false; that which you desire you can do. Yes, my sister, we feel that you have this ability.

May we answer further?

Right, you are saying everybody has that ability or that potential, but … I mean, like everybody has the potential to play music, but again, some people have the talent. Everybody can learn to do something, but some people have certain talents that they learn more quickly in their development of … like music or art, where another person would have to work a lot harder, put a lot more energy into it. I am trying to feel out more in the sense of … I mean, I realize that I have, that everybody has that potential, but I am trying to see, is this something that will happen quickly for me, or is it something that will take years to develop? I am trying to see exactly about my talents or ability in that area of spiritual development.

I am Q’uo. My sister, there is a respect which we have for your free will which inhibits us from describing to you those energies which you ask about. However, perhaps a more general statement might enable you to think further upon this. We would say that when there is, as in your case, a deep desire to serve as a channel, that this desire is true. The manner of manifestation of this desire is not fixed. Destiny does not say, “You shall do this and this,” it says “You shall be put in this situation wherein you may attempt to learn of love and to be of service.” We encourage you to move ahead with the learning while being extremely alert for indications from spirit as to the finer and finer choices which determine the direction of learning and service so that you may find your own unique way of serving and of loving.

Thusly, in the area of channeling, for instance, some channel as healers, some as teachers, some as prophets, some as those channeling this or that spiritual resource of an impersonal nature, some channeling from a source of a more personal or individual nature. So at each juncture be on the lookout for synchronistic occurrences, for those small signs of happenstance which may seem coincidental to others but which are subjectively interesting to you. Notice and remember these occurrences and pay them attention, for it is by these signs that you will change and change again the seeming direction of your quest to serve so that as your personality within this life matures and ripens it may be informed as to its best avenue of service.

This is for all entities a process which has the characteristic of both occurring over a long period of time and of coming to a central crux, at which moment a great deal is made clear within you subjectively as a palpable realization. Therefore, surrender to patience and a complete lack of expectation in a day-to-day search, simply doing your inner work, and when the moment comes wherein you find your true voice as an instrument you will know it with a certainty which is beyond time and space, and it shall feel right for you. When that moment has come, cleave unto it and stand upon this rock and do not look back.

May we answer you further, my sister?

No, thank you very much.

My sister, may we share our great joy in speaking with you. It is a true pleasure, and we are full of love for you and for your devotion.

Is there another query at this time?


We are known to you as Q’uo. Through this instrument’s perceptors we feel the deepening of the evening upon your planet, the world is becoming less busy and more quiet about you as the energies of the day and the light put themselves gently to rest. It is a precious time, that time when the energies of your planet are very quiet, those of the daylight going to their rest, those of the powerful and magical night only just beginning to stir. Into this parentheses in time insert yourself, viewing the light and the darkness as one thing. Feel the unity of all that seems light and dark, sad and joyful, feel with us the perfection of the mystery-filled Creator. We know not this mystery but we rejoice in it.

We leave this instrument and you in this love and this light, this one great original Thought, for that is all that there is. Until we speak with you again, we say to you adonai. Farewell in the Creator’s love and light. We are Q’uo.