[overview] Question from G: How may I be free of my own self-created prison walls and free of the resulting pain that keeps my energies internal and my heart, that wants to connect, so distant from others? How may I be free to love, to love at will, and free to channel love as universally and unconditionally as did the one known as Jesus?
We are those of the principle known to you as Q’uo. We greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator, in whose name we come to you this evening. We thank you for the great privilege of being allowed to share our thoughts with you at this time. To be called to your group is a great privilege, never more so than at this time, as we feel the purity of desire within this group is most gratifying. We are extremely happy to share our thoughts with each of you with the request, as always, that the utmost care be taken to discriminate between those thoughts which may seem fair for a time and yet may not be, and those thoughts with truly do resonate and do seem to be those personal truths that are meant for this time and this circumstance especially.
There is a tremendous skill within each of you, that listening ear and understanding heart that can discern and can know, in that knowing that is beyond proof, that this is for you, that is not for you. That is that judge whom you must trust more so than any other party, for it is a unique thing to be incarnate within this illusion and it is central to the more subtle reaches of understanding, if we may call it that in this density, that the trust be first within the guidance of the self. Only after that primary judge has been accepted as the true arbiter of that which is true for you personally can you rest and enjoy the interesting opinions and concepts of many others who may indeed have part of the truth that is yours, and may not.
We are delighted to share with you upon the subject of true freedom. It is a much overused and misused word. For what is freedom? In the context of third density, it is an illusion to speak of true freedom, in that the circumstance of incarnation, in and of itself, is that which may seem to be as the prison, through the bars of which one may gaze upon eternity without being able to slip the bars of the cage and enter its untrammeled reaches. And yet that too is an illusion. What is true freedom? To examine this, one must examine what is the nature of the self. What is the nature of the self that is free to love?
We ask you to move into a space within your mind in which every stumbling block is removed, all direction is lost, and from which all concept of color or distance or size is missing, so that which you are, that infinite spark of the divine, is able to rest upon the waves of unknowing. These are the underground caves of freedom. These are the dark waters where there is no light, where prayers are true and the delusions and illusions of color and form have no meaning.
What has meaning in these caverns of self that lie beyond limit? Rest and know the strength, the absolute power, the infinity of self. Feel the self that has no need of boundaries, that has no need of bone or flesh or the illusory energy fields of form, texture and color, all of the details so dear to the eye and the ear and the senses. This state is as close as we can come with words at this time to describing the Creator that exists without the need for expression. In this state of absolute freedom from form, there are no boundaries, there are no limits, there is no personality, there is no distraction, there is no imperfection, all is truly one and everything is infinitely possible.
Lift the hand of the mind as if it were reaching for a string of a balloon and tug down to limit, to color, to personality through densities and dimensions, one after the other in a kaleidoscope—down, inward, until you reach the moment before this incarnation, before these details, before these personalities, when you decided, out of all the wisdom you had amassed, out of all the possibilities you could imagine, that this particular planetary sphere, this particular time, these particular relationships and these particular goals of service and learning are the very things out of all of the infinite possibilities available that you would choose at this time for your learning, for your joy, for your evolution. It is this juncture at which you both placed yourself in servitude and opened the doors to a different kind of freedom. For within the trammels of what this instrument would call this Earthly veil, lie the opportunities to love, imperfectly, brokenly, foolishly, again and again feeling the stumbling ways of humanhood, the clumsiness of limitation, the challenges of dwelling in a world where many things seem to be known which do not make sense and few things are known which make any sense.
A boundary is crossed when an entity chooses to enter incarnation. In some ways it is a boundary from great freedom to infinite limitation. Great vistas of awareness are shut down, closed as if they were slats in a Venetian blind which are simply turned and pulled shut to keep out the light of true awareness, of unlimited light, of unlimited knowledge. It is as if the soul coming into incarnation comes in from outdoors and forsakes the illumination of the sun in order to turn on the puny bulbs of 100 watts of artificial light that may or may not be there, depending on whether the power is on, whether the jerry-rigged ways of producing an equivalent light, without the infinite love being the source of that light, have sway.
It is a shock to the system to come into the body and there is, from the moment of entering the physical vehicle, the necessity to breath and to work and to exist through time as a human being. There is a sense of unutterable loss and yet it is that which has been chosen. So, gazed at from that simple perspective of choice, the entrance into the morass of limitations and confusion that is the Earth plane is the entrance into true freedom. The entrance into confusion is that pearl beyond price which has been paid for ahead of time by the soul who risks everything in order to learn and to serve.
There is in any incarnation a sense of sacrifice, a sense of loss, and so the question becomes, for what did I take flesh? For what reason was I called to this path? And this is a key question for each entity. What was the motivation? Was it utterly, purely to serve humankind? Was it to serve humankind in a certain way? Was it to serve humankind in a certain way, with certain people? Precisely how was this arrangement created and blessed? May we suggest that an effort of the intellectual mind to organize detail as in an outline and therefore understand, intellectually, the reasons for incarnation is to allow to slip away the opportunity to move beneath the surface of the intellect and beneath the surface of the acculturated, societally vetted, or accepted version of that which the life is and that which the goals of life are. We do not need to express [more] to you for we are aware that each within this circle is already aware that those things which the mind can come up with are those thing which are not satisfactory as full explanations for the reason for incarnation.
Truly, if you allow the heart to express, the heart itself with every beat, rhythmically, profoundly, simply expresses the truth of incarnation: love, love, love, love, love. The pump that pumps blood through the veins of the physical vehicle moves in waves of love. The second-density body which carries you about has no thought that is not steeped and marinated in love. The second-density vehicle is aware in every cell that it is the Creator and that it has no need of reasons to exist or to learn or to serve or to suffer and die. Is it ignorance or is it freedom that allows every cell of your body to give one hundred percent of itself in every moment for its continued existence and no less for the existence of that whole being of which it senses itself to be an integral part. As an entity, one not yet fully in communion with all other entities within its, shall we say, soul group, you have a great lesson to learn from those simple cells of your body, each of which is instinctual and vital with its identity, its every possibility and its readiness to respond to the stimuli that meet it in any given moment and so does your body, without question, without doubt, respond to that which it perceives. Is it experiencing freedom? Or is it experiencing a mindless, reactionary, slave’s existence?
Let us draw back a step further and gaze at this body that is not you, yet which expresses as a great part of you within the solution. Your body perceives not according to the wisdom of the body alone; rather, the body accepts the information which that entity which you are comes to believe is true. If the entity which is you comes to believe that it cannot feel pain, then it can walk across hot coals or accept the needle in the arm, as has been demonstrated time and again by those who do hypnotism. And each cell of the body is free to ignore as completely unimportant and irrelevant those bodily sensations that otherwise would create great agony.
Similarly, that spirit and soul which you are, which is only imperfectly contained within the lantern of the body that holds the candle that is you and the light that is you, is only limited by its perception of its limits. And when that entity that is, at the soul level, the essence of you, is able to rest in peace, in power, within the temple of flesh that has been prepared for it, without strife and without argument, then that which the soul entity perceives is true. And those confusions and difficulties which may seem to be the case upon the outer plane do not have the necessity to impinge upon the inner essence of being that is you.
Naturally we are not suggesting that, as an entity becomes spiritually more mature, it may then stop listening to those voices that are around it. We do not for a moment suggest that ignoring those precious other-selves about one is in any way a useful exercise for one wishes to know how one may serve, how one may be served, how one may love, how one may be loved. One does not come into incarnation to avoid catalyst, yet at the same time one does not come into incarnation to become a slave to catalyst. One is neither greater than catalyst, nor less than catalyst, but rather, one is one with the catalyst.
The skill that feeds into the concept of freedom is that skill which is able to see the energies, the thought clusters, and the directions that those thought clusters take in their inferences and their suggestions of further thought. In other words, it accepts all of those thoughts as interesting, useful, beautiful, intriguing and equal. And all of the thoughts may be enjoyed, appreciated, respected, honored and followed as one would follow the strengths of a beautiful painting, the motifs of a beautiful piece of music, admiring, appreciating, moving into new places within the mind, within the feelings, because of this catalyst, these works of art that the people around you and their situations offer you in terms of the feeling clusters, the emotional and ethical challenges that are unique to each situation. And as a connoisseur, there is great appreciation in your heart for each offering, whether it may seem to be positive or negative, whether it may seem to be helpful or a hindrance. There is the connoisseur’s appreciation for all the sweet and bitter tastes that make a full palate of experience and always, whether it is full of light or seemingly full of darkness, there is a feeling of privilege and even thanksgiving that one is able to meet this moment, to have these experiences, to accommodate this utterly unique opportunity, to see the Creator within the endless mystery of appearance.
Why did the Creator choose to make creations? Our comment has often tended to be, “The Creator is attempting to gain in knowledge and appreciation of Itself. The Creator wishes to know Itself. Thusly, it sends forth parts of Itself within illusion to see what will happen and to learn from the colors created in the palate of emotion that you have created through many experiences and incarnations, that contains your beauty and is unique to you, so that you can teach the Creator that which no one else in all of Creation is able to [teach]. For you are the only one of you in all of the infinite universe; thusly, it is your gift to the Creator, that comes from you, that is greatly desired. You cannot please the Creator by being someone else but only by being most truly and deeply yourself.”
Is that freedom? If so, within incarnation, you are at your most free. You have the chance to make mistakes, to do things wrongly, to become utterly confused, to bomb out, to make mistake after mistake, according to your best light, and yet you do not have the freedom to make the Creator disappointed in you. You have the freedom only to disappoint yourself. But, to the Creator, all that you explore is new and all that you choose is brand new in that moment of choice.
How may you be free? My brother, your freedom was never in doubt. It is the life itself, the incarnational illusion that is full of doubt. Is it happening? Is it real? Is it a dream? All of these things are true. It is real. It is happening. It is a dream. It is both valid and illusion, real and imagined, full of power and a vain and empty nothingness. And in these paradoxes, in these impossibilities, in these extravagances that we attempt to place in your mind as being irrational and noumenal, lies a resting place for gathering experience. This is what you have chosen.
So perhaps freedom lies in having the most utter faith which is possible for you in the moment. Faith in what? Faith in the self, as limited as that self may seem. Faith in the energies that delivered you to this present moment, as peculiar, odd and unlikely as they must seem. You are indeed, most free to love at will. The life experience may be seen, in one way, to be that environment in which the will itself, that is, that energy of the soul piercing through the illusion of mass and time and space, chooses its light, focuses its love, and opens the door to the great mystery that lies within, that mystery that is love, that is loving, and that is loved.
We thank the one known as G for this query and we transfer this contact to the one known as Jim, realizing full well that we have only begun to utter the first sentence, in the first paragraph, of that which we could say concerning this most deep question. Yet the time wanes, the energy wanes and it is time for us to open the meeting to those questions which the one known as G may continue to have upon his mind. And so we will leave this instrument, thanking it for its service, transferring this contact to the one known as Jim. We leave this instrument in love and in light. We are those known to you as Q’uo.
I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and in light from this instrument. We would ask the one known as G if he has another query to which we may respond.
[new speaker] G
I certainly do. Thank you Ra, Hatonn and Latwii for being such loving guides to me during my own journey. My first question is: can you tell me what the splintering agent is that you mentioned in my last reading and what I can do to heal myself of its effects. Is there anything I can do to heal myself of its effects besides engaging in daily meditation, so that I may become whole again, restoring the vision and restoring the sight?
I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. The splintering effect of which we spoke at our previous meeting is a point of view, shall we say, an attitude, which you have adopted or had adopted for yourself in your past. We find that your current experience is one which has caused you to change much of that point of view. There has been much healing of your fractured viewpoint concerning various aspects of yourself and how you would be able to accept these aspects in your daily round of activities. Thus, our recommendation remains that which it was then: to meditate and to consider carefully your point of view as regards the self and the self’s interactions with others.
Is there another query, my brother?
[new speaker] G
Am I by any chance an indigo child or a wanderer of the type with the dual-activated body, or both?
I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. We would go to the limits of our ability to respond without infringing upon your free will by suggesting that your nature, at its core, is more attuned with the status of one who seeks to serve as a wanderer to distant areas of consciousness. Thus, you are one who has journeyed to a distant point of your own thinking, which is now symbolized by this planetary sphere.
Is there another query my brother?
[new speaker] G
What is the nature of the deep fatigue that comes and goes and what can I do to increase my energy levels?
I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query my brother. The...
[Side one of tape ends.]
I am Q’uo, and am again with this instrument. We shall continue. The fatigue of which you have spoken is a product of the rapid change that has become a part of your daily round of activities, as you have been much involved in the realigning of the physical attributes of this dwelling place. There is a deeper type of change that is symbolized by the rearranging of the physical objects that also is occurring within you at this time. This is the, shall we say, quality of bearing a burden that you have felt as a result of responsibilities, of familial ties. There is the enculturation process that is natural to all third-density beings upon this planet that has, for you, culminated recently in a choice to follow your own lights, shall we say. This choice to move as an independent creature has brought the feeling of a responsibility for your own movement, so that you place a kind of pressure or burden upon your metaphysical shoulders.
This is a somewhat roundabout way of looking at your opportunities for growth. However, we find that each seeker has its own way of approaching the journey that beckons. It is a matter of what is more efficient for you. As you continue upon this journey you will find an ease to your movement which is not now present in its fullest degree, shall we say. As you move more and more freely upon the journey of the change of self that continues until one sees there is a self that does not change, then you shall feel more of this weight removed from your shoulders and your being. It is again a matter of being able to accept yourself and your opportunities for growth.
Is there a further query my brother?
[new speaker] G
Thank you, Q’uo. I have a cluster here. Are my twin soul and I adhering to the preincarnatively chosen plan that we had set before us, for the course of our earthly relationship? Is there anything more I can do to help her to free herself from her own confusion? And is there a higher road of service that I might walk, higher than the one I currently walk now?
I am Q’uo, and am aware of your queries and the concern which generates these avenues of inquiry. We feel that you are well aware that there are no mistakes in any seeker’s journey. There are, however, expectations. Oftentimes, it is more efficient for the seeker to remove expectations and to be able to accept that which occurs as that which is appropriate. However we are aware that catalyst does not usually work as easily as this simplistic description within your illusion. There is oftentimes much angst between the desire to serve and the actual service as perceived by the self.
The path which you and the entity which you call your twin soul have chosen is indeed appropriate for your own movement into service at this time. We are aware that each would, in what each would call an ideal world, wish to serve in another fashion, one which was more proximate, shall we say, each to the other, in more obvious service and types of learning. Again there is the matter of [allowing] catalyst for growth to occur truly. There is, shall we say, a weight or a resistance against which each moves or pushes so that there is an exercising of the spiritual muscles or ability to conceptualize that which is yours to seek and to serve, to give and to receive. There is always a means by which one may serve more efficiently. That is another way of saying there is always growth potential available. It is well to refrain from taking one’s spiritual temperature, judging oneself, attempting to evaluate just exactly where and how one moves upon the path of service to others.
Again we return to that lighthearted feeling which the childlike nature of the true self demonstrates without effort. This childlike nature has taken on an earthly form, with various abilities to express, various difficulties in expressing. Thus, though there are goals towards which each moves, there is the movement, the perception of the movement, and so on, which when examined without too much dedication to an outcome, can give one a hint, a direction, a possibility. But when focused upon too intensively shall we say, when obsessed about, [they] may become a stumbling block upon the journey. Thus do strengths become weaknesses and weaknesses strengths.
Is there another query my brother?
[new speaker] G
Marvelous answer, Q’uo. I have seen enough 1:10’s, 11:10’s, 12:13’s to know that a message is being communicated to me. Can you provide me any sort of insight as to what is trying to be conveyed to me with these one-minute-off “synchronicities”?
I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. And though this query upon its surface appearance seems to be one steeped in innocence, it is with this query that we must be most careful that we do not infringe upon your free will. Thus, we have only a suggestion that you look at the symbolic nature of the numbers involved and how this symbolism resonates to a certain point of view that you hold towards seeking and serving, of being of service, and of how this is offered.
Is there a further query my brother?
[new speaker] G
Thank you Q’uo. Why do I feel like there are holes, that is, missing pieces of identity and memory, in my soul?
I am Q’uo and am aware of your query, my brother. This sensation which you describe as “holes” within the soul of one’s being is a most interesting and perhaps literal way of looking at those portions of the self towards which one moves in the spiritual sense. To regain one’s identity is to fit together many pieces of a great puzzle of many dimensions. When one has a lack of understanding of any portion of this puzzle, there is a hole, shall we say, a gap, a place or way of being that is yet to be discovered. This is the nature of the journey for each seeker of truth—to find the trail of pieces to this puzzle and follow till one is whole, till one is unified, till one feels the unity of self with all other beings. This is a grand journey upon which you travel. Follow that feeling of the whole within until you find that which plugs or fills the hole.
Is there another query my brother?
[new speaker] G
Thank you, Q’uo. Another cluster. Somewhere along the way it seems my memory has been impaired somewhat and I was wondering if you could tell me how that happened? Was it injury done to myself by myself? Or the process of ascension? And, how might I be able to regain it enough so that I can again learn and absorb and synthesize new information?
I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother.
When there has been a forgetting of that which has occurred within the conscious memory, it is either because there was little value to the self in retaining this experience or because there was some difficulty in accepting the experience, so that there was instead of acceptance, rejection. These experiences are critical portions of one’s formative years, shall we say. To explore the primary cause of such rejection, it is often necessary to look within the dream state or the deep meditation, which may uncover these types of traumatic learnings. Thus, we suggest that you take what you can of the current memory, the place where the memory stops, and attempt within your dream state or within your meditative state to take the next step in experience, to open the self to receiving that clue or quality of feeling that will begin to reveal to you that which you have hidden from yourself.
Is there a further query, my brother?
[new speaker] G
Q’uo, you rock. Give me one second, Q’uo.
[new speaker] Carla
Could I ask a question while he is gathering his wits, Q’uo?
I am Q’uo. We would welcome your query, my sister.
[new speaker] Carla
On the question about weariness and food intake and so forth, I’ve been going from the assumption that it might be substances or it might be the quality of love in the food and so I have focused more on putting love into the food than in being really sensitive about certain substances. Could you make any suggestions as to whether this is a basically good way to value and also if there are substances to which this particular soul either has need for or needs not to have? Is there a possibility that you could share those with me?
I am Q’uo, and aware of your query, my sister. We find that the menu is heavily laden toward the quality of love, which is most nutritious to each seeking soul. We are also aware that the one known as G has a quite clear understanding of his own dietary needs. Perhaps there could be the inclusion of more substances which this entity prefers. However, that which has been prepared is prepared with care, concern, love and great affection. Thus, we cavil not at the diet and applaud each in his and her approach to the intake of foodstuffs.
[new speaker] Carla
Is there another query at this time?
[new speaker] G
Thank you, Carla, for the very considerate question. Q’uo, can you tell me how I reacted to this world as a child? I ask you because I don’t recall much of my childhood.
I am Q’uo, and aware of your query, my brother. We examine the life pattern of the one known as G, seeing the innocence of the newborn babe carried through into the childhood, so that there was a freshness of learning that was both comforting to the one known as G and somewhat disturbing to those who were the parents, for there was more ability in abstruse areas of comprehension than was expected. Therefore, there has been a loss of innocence and of the ability to grasp new experiences easily and quickly. This is a portion of that filling in of the hole aspect of which we spoke earlier as well as the beginning exploration of the traumatic learning of which we spoke earlier as well. There has continued to be a great thirst for knowledge and for being of service which both were present from the earliest of ages. This is the sum of that which we feel we may offer without infringement.
Is there a final query at this time?
[new speaker] G
That answer is such a gift, thank you, Q’uo. Am I any closer to the course of dessert? Have I moved on, or am I still on my main course? Or am I almost done?
I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. We find that you are well along the consuming of the main course, which we suggest will be a somewhat lengthy meal within this illusion! From time to time you may find a taste or two of dessert. However, we suggest that prepare yourself for a great feast.
It has been our great privilege to be able to speak to your concerns this evening for we feel that you have a great desire for seeking and serving which needs but little guidance to find its fullest flower within the present environment.
We are those known to you as those of Q’uo. We would take our leave of this instrument of this group at this time. We thank each for inviting our presence this evening. It is a great honor to join you in this circle of seeking.
Adonai my friends. Adonai.