Question from A: After a year of marriage I must admit my wife and I have a serious sexual problem. Without infringing upon the principles concerning free will, could Q’uo please comment on our current sexual difficulty? Could they confirm for me that my current situation has been planned by my higher self for guiding me in the positive direction? Aside from our personal problem, I wish to ask the difference between our spiritual evolution with and without sex. There are many monks or nuns who concentrate on their discipline in chastity. The Bible also has said, “For there are some eunuchs which were so born from their mother’s womb, and there are some eunuchs which were made eunuchs of man, and there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of Heaven’s sake.” He said that is able to receive it, let him receive it, Matthew 9:12. On the other hand, Ra taught us that a healthy sexual intercourse strengthens our vital energy and emotional energy with each other.
Could Q’uo expand on these two concepts and describe their distinct advantages for our seeking journey?
We are those of the principle known to you as Q’uo. We greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator, in Whose service we come to you this day. May we say what a privilege it is to experience your group energy. Its beauty is almost startling and we thank each of you for your great desire to seek the truth and your open hearts that reach out to each other with support and encouragement. We are most happy to offer our thoughts to the one known as A and would ask only that both he and all of those who hear or read these words be very diligent in taking responsibility for those things that you hear and guarding your own thought processes. For every thing that we say this day may not be an opinion that is helpful to you and we would not wish to be a stumbling block before any. So we would ask you please to consider carefully those thoughts that we share this day, realizing that we are not authorities over you in any way but only fellow travelers on the path. If something that we offer resonates to you, by all means use it. But if it does not resonate, please leave it behind without a second thought. In this way we may guard our own polarity and our observances of the free will of those to whom we speak this day. Thank you for that diligence, my friends.
The query of the one known as A is one which seems to be about sexuality. And certainly we shall share some of our thinking concerning sexuality with you. But we would begin by taking the discussion from a somewhat different level. The quest for happiness often seems to include that desire for a sexual partner that is appropriate and desirable and [who is] the one to whom the heart has been given. We have the greatest sympathy for each of you who exist in bodies that seem to be quite separate from the air and the ground and the chair that you’re sitting on and certainly from the other bodies that inhabit this Earth with you. It is a feature of the third-density setup that there is the yearning built into the third-density human person for companionship. Certainly this yearning can become blunted or destroyed by abuse during the early years of incarnation and in many cases, this souring and embittering of the fellow feeling for companionship creates a situation in entities in which they honestly come to feel it is better to experience solitude than to risk the pain of abuse. In many cases, there honestly does not seem to be any way out of experiencing abuse when in relationship. This does not happen with all entities but it is an occurrence that happens to a significant number of those within your culture. Abuse is widespread.
There are all kinds of abuse. Much abuse does not register as abuse, unlike [the experiences of] those who are raped by family members or physically beaten. These entities experience other kinds of more subtle abuse which are just as punishing to the spirit within and which can alienate and separate and isolate that spirit within from the ability to trust others of their breed. If every human to whom you have given your heart seems to have abused you, it is understandable that, over time, there would come to be within you a determination not to be caught again in the snare and trap of love. And we would suggest to the one known as A and to the one known as B that this is a thread of thought that can be taken further in the privacy and the sanctity of the open heart. For with each of these entities there have been experiences in the young years of incarnation which have biased and soured those chords of natural trust and faith in one’s fellow human that each child is born into the world experiencing as a steady state and as a normal way of life, unless, indeed, as some in this room have experienced, there have been abuses even from the womb.
However early in life these abuses begin to occur, they leave a mark. And while a scar is only that which is upon the surface, there are scars that go much deeper than physical scars. Healing from such memories—even unconscious memories of abuse—is greatly facilitated by the ability to talk through such experiences, such half-hidden memories as each may have, so that each can support each, each can comfort each, and each can forgive each. For there is a guilt implicit in the shutting off of human companionship even though it is necessary for the experience of safety to be had. And this crux, this time, for the ones known as A and B, is a time for such examination, such discussion, and such healing. The one known as A asked if this indeed had been a situation planned by his higher self, by the guidance system that was co-planner of this incarnation with the one known as A before incarnation, and we may confirm this. It is not that the situation was set up in order that the one known as A and the one known as B may learn thus and so; rather, it was set up so that the one known as A and the one known as B may learn—and teach each other as they learn from each other. We may say that this is a situation in which both come to the relationship untrammeled by previous karma. There is balanced karma within this relationship. Each is completely free to love and serve the other without regard for previous lessons, previous incarnations, or previous hopes and fears. You may come to the situation knowing that you are fresh and new and hopeful with each other.
Sexuality seems to be a red-ray issue and yet a question such as this one is a sure indication that the entire energy body is involved in sexuality. It cannot be divided or split up into lower chakras and higher chakras; it must be gazed at from the viewpoint of the being as a whole. One is not a sexual being; one is a being that has sexuality as well as many, many other characteristics. Certainly the smooth and enjoyable expression of sexuality between mates has been intended by the creative principle to be a joy, a blessing, and a healing. The physical results of healthy expression of sexuality are well known to your culture and perhaps even overvalued. But there are tremendous benefits, as the one known as A has said, to a sexual companionship that stem from the ability of sexuality to bridge and close the gap between bodies. When one is inserting Tab A into Slot B—in the approved sexual manner—distance disappears and two become one. As bodies penetrate each other, so do hearts, minds, and emotions penetrate each other. The sadnesses are shared, the joys are shared, and there is no aloneness between the two who are truly exchanging energy. It was intended by the Creator to be a delight as well as a very efficient procreative act.
The intentions of the creative principle remain a mystery to us but it has been our observation, as gazing at third density from somewhat further along the path of evolution, that the sexual principle is a powerful and lasting one. It continues to be a unifying and celebratory event as the densities move on. We at sixth density, speaking as those of the group of Ra, still experience sexuality in the shape of fusion. We, speaking as Latwii of fifth density, still experience sexuality as we wish to experience it—choosing our form and our expression; yet our choices continue to be those of finding that one entity with whom we are most suited and enjoying a mated life together in the context of group living. And it is true of those who are of the Hatonn group in fourth density as well. We do not have as much choice, in terms of physical vehicles, yet we do have that continuing desire to be companioned and to share an intimate life with that companion. Sexuality is not going to go away because you leave this density; it is a continuing principle within what you may perhaps visualize, as we do, as a continuing series of illusions. So a query concerning sexuality is in no way a shallow one. Nor is it one that we can dispose of by discussing psychology or ways of encouraging various portions of the mind to alter their biases.
The Creator has more than one reason, however, for setting up sexuality in just such a way as it has within third density. For, within third density, there is a very specific, basic game plan, shall we say, for the school of life in third density and that game plan has to do with becoming able to open the heart and to love unconditionally. Now in this opening of the heart and becoming able to love unconditionally there is a choice to be made and that is the choice that the one known as G was speaking of earlier as between STO and STS—an abbreviation that many entities within this group use for service to self and service to others. It is a significant choice. It is a valid choice. Service to self is a way to evolve closer and closer to the one infinite Creator; service to others is a way also to evolve closer and closer to the one infinite Creator. We believe that the infinite One has a bias in favor of service to others and thusly has made that path somewhat easier. Nevertheless, the greatest difficulty for those who are awakening to their own spiritual destiny upon planet Earth is choosing the manner of evolution. Each within this circle has unconditionally chosen service to others and so have the one known as A and the one known as B. Consequently, we will lift up off of speaking of service to self and concentrate on the service-to-others path.
One of the greatest tools or resources of the service-to-others path is the attraction between sexually compatible people. This instrument has often thought that it was a kind of trick that the Creator played on us all, to make the attraction between the sexes so potent. It was as if the carrot, that carrot of attraction, were being dangled before the donkey’s head; whereas, behind the donkey, the stick was being applied in terms of the results of that attraction. There is many an entity, both male and female, who, having entered the mated state, has quickly begun to feel that it is a terrible cheat for, instead of the continued bliss of the honeymoon, there has come quickly the realization that one is now responsible for that other entity, for paying the bills of that other entity and seeing that that other entity is fed and clothed and housed and, to some extent, happy. These are burdens which can be felt by many. We do not in any way deny the effort that is implied by such attraction. Once one has accepted a relationship, one is indeed in relationship and therefrom depends, if one chooses the mated state, a lifetime of service. And this is the trick that this instrument has noted: that the clever Creator has pulled people into a situation in which they almost cannot avoid being of service, for the society as a whole is quite judgmental concerning those who, in the married state, are not careful to provide for their spouses and mates, their children and other dependants. We look around the entities within this circle and see that several have experienced long, mated relationships, while others have experienced shorter and more ephemeral relationships. We are aware that those who have been mated for long periods of time are fully aware of the duties of the married state and yet at the same time, as we gaze within the minds of those involved, we see the joys and the gratitude that each feels for the benefits of that state. Within your culture, it has often seemed to break down, for the duties and the honors of service-to-others living are a challenge. Loving well is not done briefly. It is done persistently, patiently and with a tremendous amount of understanding and forgiveness required to keep the relationship from souring and becoming bitter.
In the case of the one known as A and the one known as B, the energies moving into the mated relationship were neatly divided betwixt lower chakras and higher chakras. It is unusual indeed for a marriage of choice between two entities to include only those higher chakras. Most often entities are drawn first by the shallow and superficial, the surface aspects of another human being. And those are those things which feed into sexual attraction—the appearance, the physical looks, and so forth. This was not the case with the ones known as A and B. Indeed, this relationship has much more of the energies of relationships within higher densities, where the attraction is that of a soul to another soul. And we do not believe that any love more deeply than the ones known as A and B and so we say to you that you have already achieved a great deal in your choice of each other. It took great courage for the one known as A to choose to marry an entity for whom he did not feel the requisite physical attraction expected of male entities within his culture. And yet, this was a conscious choice, a prayerful and thoughtful choice and we would not in any way suggest that it has been a mistake. Rather we would suggest that it is a unique situation and one in which there will not be a great deal of understanding from others within this society. And we, ourselves, are not those who are psychologists or therapists. We cannot solve the surface of the problem that presents itself, in terms of the lack of desire between these two entities. Yet, at the same time, we may offer some thoughts which may help as the ones known as A and B explore together the ramifications of the choices that they have made.
The one known as A asked concerning how evolution within third density would occur without sexuality as opposed to with sexuality. We’ve looked a little bit at the ways of a sexual mating. The sexually mated pair are set up, as it were, for a life of service to each other. The ones known as A and B have achieved this setup without the prod of sexuality, without the carrot of finding each other so attractive that they become bemused and foolish with each other and cannot think of what to say or how to say it.
Upon the other hand, there have been energies set in motion in the manner of coming together that can fruitfully be explored. The eunuch or monk who chooses to forego sexuality and sexual partners is not choosing to forego sexuality because it is an evil thing as much as they are choosing to place their energies and their service not to one person but to humankind as a whole or to the infinite Creator. We do not say that this is a mistake either; it is a valid choice. It is rather, however, like choosing not to use one of your legs or arms or stopping your ears so that you cannot hear. It is a choice that places one a bit off balance as an entity dwelling in third density. For the body is as much a part of the entity as the mind or the spirit or the emotions. To ask the body to refrain from expressing its natural function is to ask the body to be a bit off balance. To the best of our ability, this would be our estimate of the difference between living without sexuality and living with sexuality. The entity which has expressed its sexuality, whether in the present or in the past, is a whole entity in a way that an entity which has foresworn sexuality cannot be. There is no loss of polarity if one chooses not to express sexuality but there is a greater likelihood of a healthy energy body which has the vitality to persist in seeking if all natural functions are seen as beautiful and holy.
The challenge, then, is to lift up from previous concepts of sexuality as being that which is involved with lower chakras only, so that sexuality may be seen as both natural and sacred. One of the archetypes with which this instrument is familiar is the archetype called The Lovers. In it, the central figure is a male and his hands are crossed so that his right hand is reaching over his left shoulder and his left hand is reaching over his right shoulder. In one hand he is holding the hand of a pure and pristine priestess figure; in the other hand he is holding the hand of a somewhat debased feminine figure which is seen to be prostituted and unclean. The virtuous female figure is veiled and almost hidden whereas the prostituted female figure is far less fully clothed and expresses great attraction. It is obvious that the central male figure is about to make a choice between two types of femininity. The one known as A has made his choice. Profoundly, absolutely, he has chosen the veiled and mysterious priestess for his mate.
And the question then becomes, “What does that archetypal figure do as he walks off into the archetypal sunset with his veiled bride?” And we would suggest to the ones known as A and B that the future lies open and free before them. Sacredness of virtue remains as one walks into that sunset. In a way, it would almost seem to be a debasing thing to introduce such a virtuous entity to sexuality and yet sexuality is not in and of itself that which is prostituted. Let us draw back from the physical—for the one known as A must always draw back from this in his own evolution, in his own habits of thinking, and in his own personality—and gaze at the true meaning, or, shall we say, a deeper meaning of this archetype. The feminine principle is the unconscious. It is that fertile volume in which all truth is written. The male principle is that entity which reaches to know the mystery, which wishes to plumb the depths of the volume of truth. The feminine principle represents the creative principle. When an entity approaches the feminine, an entity is approaching his own deepest self. Penetrating that mystery is the goal of the male principle. Being appreciated, courted, cherished and loved, the feminine principle can at last relax, release the veiling, and allow herself to bloom. And the truth comes bursting from every pore of such content. This is the deeper level of meaning of this archetypal figure.
We would encourage the ones known as A and B to allow whatever will occur to occur. If there comes to be desire between two such loving people, we rejoice with you. If there does not come to be desire between two such loving people, we do mourn with you for we do see the value and the beauty of the sexual relationship. But we ask each to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are doing the work that you came to do; and that as you explore this and other issues with each other, you are helping each other to bloom, you are helping each other to progress, and you are helping each other to heal.
We are aware that the one known as Carla has suggested to you a way in which you may learn all over again to touch each other with love. And we would commend this technique to you and suggest that if you find yourself comfortable in one phase of this four-phase progression, that you remain there as long as you are comfortable there. We would further suggest to you that when it is time to move ahead, then move onto the next phase. And if you spend the rest of your life in phase two or phase three, you will still have found more intimacy and have exchanged more good energy than many entities which have unsatisfactory, though technically perfectly functional, sexual lives. Happiness, the one known as T said earlier, is that which you begin with and then the world becomes a happy place. This is so true to us and we commend this thought to you. Allow yourselves first of all to be happy with each other.
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Allow yourselves to glory in the beauty of each other: the beauty of the mind, the beauty of the emotions, and the beauty of the soul within. This allows everything to settle into its right place and takes the emphasis off of that which is only a part of the whole. We encourage you to be with each other in meditation each day and to allow that unity in seeking to seed the garden of your lives. Who knows what plants shall grow? Know only that you shall grow those things that you both were placed here to grow and that you shall help each other to blossom.
We thank the one known as A for this excellent question and at this time would open this meeting to other queries if there are any. Is there a question at this time?
Q’uo, I have one. Recently in my life I’ve had opportunities for relationship and for sexual energy transfers and I’ve passed those by because, for one reason or another, I have felt that they would not work and therefore, out of consideration for the other person, I haven’t engaged in anything physical that would lead to emotions being evolved or the commitments made of relationships, so I would like to ask you if that activity of waiting for a better opportunity, or for “Ms Right,” is a wise activity? Or if I might wind up the person that has passed up opportunity that has knocked at the door in chasing an illusion, a fiction of my mind of something that is more to aligned to my dream of “her”?
We are those of Q’uo and are aware of your query, my brother. My brother, the density of choice is just that. There are no mistakes. There is as much virtue in one choice as another as long as each choice is made with a full and loving heart. The ways of love are a mystery. This instrument, for example, has memories of waiting for Mr. Right and feeling that she had indeed done precisely the right thing. This entity passed up many opportunities as well and it was her nineteenth year before she chose to offer herself to the entity to whom she had become engaged. It is also true that, in this entity’s life, it was a very quick trip, shall we say, from the first ecstasy of waiting for Mr. Right and then choosing him and embracing him to being left at the altar by this entity. Was it a mistake to wait? This entity would not say so; for she developed, as a being, very naturally because she waited until her heart was completely engaged and her faith and trust were utter. And so her first experience of sexuality was utterly positive.
On the other hand, when an entity embraces thoughtlessly and becomes, as you have said, entangled with another entity without that benefit of utter faith and full choice, yet still, in many an instances, the carrot having been offered and the stick having been applied, the entity learns after the fact how to love because he has been forced into the situation of learning. This is why we cannot say that one way is better than another.
It is a matter of the personality shell of the entity and that nature which he was given at birth. Some entities are robust and relatively insensitive and take their pleasure where they find it. Others are more gentle and sensitive and must feel that they are loved and that they can love in return. They must be able to engage their faith and their trust before the picture comes right and it seems natural to move forward. We believe we speak to the latter type of entity and because of that we would say that you choose well to wait. There is no mistake in having the ideal of “the right person.” We do not say that there is one right person for each entity. We do say, however, that it is well for a sensitive entity to wait very carefully and very thoughtfully and watchfully for the resonance and the depth that come when you make contact with a soul that is truly compatible with you and we encourage you to follow that way as long as it has resonance for you.
May we answer you further, my brother?
No, well done, Q’uo. Thank you very much.
We thank you, my brother. Is there a further query at this time?
Yes Q’uo, I’d like to pose a query. First I’d like to express my appreciation for your wisdom and consideration—how meaningful it is to me. And I would just like to ask about the discipline of the mind. You once suggested to me that the way that you go about setting up a ritual of the mind as used to its fullest potential is to take responsibility for every thought and you asked me to query further if I required more clarification and if you’d be so kind I’d love to hear more thoughts on this and how to discipline the mind.
We are those of Q’uo and are aware of your query, my brother. Indeed your question has many hidden aspects and we smile at the impossibility of responding to all that you ask but we shall do our poor best to share a few thoughts with you, my brother.
What is it to take thought? For some the mind is a fairly easily managed tool. It runs along fairly predictable lines, easily influenced by such outside forces as family, friends, mass media, and the culture itself as it ticks along like an engine. For others, the choice of what to bring through into the personality shell has included the choice of a powerful intellect and, as this entity is well aware, a powerful intellect can hardly ever be shut down. So rather than the experience many have of taking thought, the experience is more of the mind racing along—sometimes in one gait, sometimes in another; sometimes on one level, sometimes on another but seldom, if ever, stopping and often thinking more than one thing at a time.
However, when such an entity chooses, it may slow that engine down by fastening upon one of the thoughts that is passing through. Often, there is a great help in terms of circumstance. The mind becomes focused because a circumstance arises in which there is a relationship that is being exercised and interaction is taking place or a subject has been raised and the mind is drawn to thinking concerning just that subject. We encourage the one known as J to take advantage of such times of natural focus. It is a good place to start to isolate the focus at that time and reflect upon it later. This helps the mind to move itself away from that reckless pony ride that it enjoys and to put the saddle on it, put the bridle on it, and start mastering this horse of a mind that is happily cavorting about the corral of your grey matter. Certainly, this instrument has much fellow feeling for you for this instrument’s mind is such a run-away pony and does a good bit of cavorting. Yet this instrument has learned to take all of that activity very lightly. Its tendency is to wait for the focus in order to do the examination of thoughts and we would suggest this technique to you as well.
When you perceive an ethical situation or a point of consideration that is attractive to you, realize that this thought has been pointed out to you as a thought among thoughts that is worthy of special consideration. If there is a natural instinct to shy away from examining such a thought or such a focus, know then that you are truly on to something and pursue the consideration of that ethical question or that consideration, whatever it might be, with great passion.
Many thoughts that come before your mind and that you wish to examine are those with which you do not know what to do and in those cases where thought has become involved with emotion which has become involved with interaction with another human being or some other tangle like that, the best you can do in considering that particular thought is to sit with it. And this is a technique that is much underrated in your society. Some things are not there for you to solve. Some things are there for you to sit with. They are house guests and the mystery of that tangle is not going to be solved overnight. When it is solved it will be very simple but nature will take its good time allowing you to do the growing that you need to do in order to complete the pattern that is implicit in the tangle. All the tangles have very simple outcomes in terms of your ability, ultimately, to judge the value of thoughts. But there are many thoughts that are company, not to solve, but to sit with.
May we answer you further, my brother?
No, I appreciate your thoughts, thank you.
We thank you, my brother. Is there a final query at this time?
Real quick one for me, Quo. For over two years now I’ve been meditating every single day, or trying to at least, and though I’ve improved, I’m far from where I would like to be, and far from a single-pointed focus during my meditations, sometimes I am just thinking. Any tips, recommendations, suggestions, to improve my meditation? And thank you very much for your answer.
We are those of Q’uo, and are aware of your query, my brother. It is difficult to put into words the value of meditation. Certainly some entities are expert at achieving a one-pointed focus. The vast majority of entities, however, remain forever, to their own judgment, greatly imperfect and incompetent meditators whose thoughts arise again and again and again. And yet, the value [to an] entity of the meditative experience is undiminished by the self-perceived imperfection of the technique.
We would suggest that, without judgment or expectation, you simply seek the silence and listen for the Creator’s footsteps. Wait for the Creator’s arms to embrace you. Listen for the sound of the door to your heart opening wide. The gifts of silence cannot be expressed but the virtue of the attempt to enter the silence is absolute.
May we answer you further, my brother?
No. Gratitude once again. Thank you, Q’uo.
We thank each of you. It has been a wonderful experience for us to share our energy with you. We thank the ones known as A and B and we thank each of you in the circle today. Know that we are always with you if you request our presence. Our love and support are constant.
We leave you in all that there is: the love and the light of the one infinite Creator. We are those known to you as Q’uo. Adonai. Adonai.