Question from N: The question is about this new spiritual path that I am on. I would like to know how I got where I am in this place in time, why it took me so long to get here, and where I need to go now to move forward to make the most of things I’m learning and to fully awaken my spirituality to be most useful in service to others and in fulfilling my own spiritual needs.

(Carla channeling)

We are those known to you as the principle of Q’uo. Greetings in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator, in Whose name we come to you this day. We wish to thank the one known as N for arranging to have a circle of seeking to invite our humble opinions concerning some questions that she has concerning her spiritual development and her situation at this time. It is our honor and our privilege to interact with you at this time and we thank you for this opportunity to be of service. That is a great blessing to us.

As always, however, we would ask both the one known as N and any others who may hear or read this material to take full charge of your powers of discrimination. You may not think that you have an adequate power of discrimination. Yet, my friends, you do. What is right for you now, today, will resonate to you in a certain way. It will not seem simply interesting. It will seem almost as though we were helping you to remember something that you already knew. For insight trembles upon the brink at all times for all entities who are paying attention.

If something does not resonate to you then, please, lay it down and move on to the next thought. And if what we offer does not help you, please move on to the next source of guidance, the next source of inspiration. For truly the Creator has many voices, of which we are only one. That being understood, it will help us to be able to be assured fully that we may offer our opinions without infringing upon the free will of the one known as N or interfering in any way with her sacred spiritual process.

For those who feel that they have come only lately to the spiritual awareness that they have now, there is always a feeling of needing to catch up. And this is a feeling that we would address before moving onwards, for in the anxiety to catch up there lies a lack of rest, quietness and peace of mind and we would not wish for you to lose these. And so we would share with you our opinion that the present moment finds each seeker in the perfect place to receive new information.

There is not a starting load of information that you somehow need to learn, for spiritual growth is not a curriculum in the sense of there being an intellectually satisfying procession of lessons which, when learned, suffice to sustain the spiritual seeker. Indeed, this is not the case.

No matter what spiritually inspiring entity you may bring to mind, we assure you that if you asked that entity, when that entity was alive, if he had been able to achieve full realization, so that nothing more needed to be learned and nothing more needed to be done or undone, that entity, beloved of you, would laugh and say, “I am the least of all the people that I know. I am the most foolish. I lack the most grace.”

In a way, it is the way this instrument experiences working with computers. At one time she had the idea that if she could learn enough, she would be able to do whatever she wished to do on the computer. She went to school and took classes on the computer and at the end of all those classes she finally realized that, because of the way this particular electronic gadget works, there will always be more to learn. There will always be new light and new life coming into the world of computers and computer science.

It is precisely the same with the spiritual life. The moment of awakening finds one both a spiritual infant and a very mature and savvy person with life experience and hard-won knowledge about feelings, situations and relationships. Therefore, we ask you and all those who are still feeling a bit new to spiritual seeking to wake up each morning with the knowledge that this is the day, the one day, the one moment, that is before you now.

The American Indians felt that the dawning of a new day was the dawning of a new life for each and every member of the tribe and we would suggest that this is exquisitely true. You of the tribe of humankind can start anew and afresh every morning of your life. For just as the sun rises with new light and new glory, so do you bring all that has happened to you in this incarnation up to the present moment to the unfolding of today.

And that which you have is sufficient for you to be able to pay attention to the happenings of the day and to pick up on the synchronicities and the themes of the day. For somehow it seems that catalyst comes in patterns, and blessings and beauties also come in patterns. You may see the patterns of your suffering and the patterns of your delight.

The one known as N wonders what took her so long to awaken, as she now has discovered late in life, when she is no longer youthful, those remarkable awarenesses that would have indeed transformed her life had she come upon these awarenesses in her youthful years. And we say to you, my sister, that the one known as Paul caught a piece of the truth when he said that it is a long and winding road that leads you to your home. 1 That road is no less sure for being serpentine. Every bend in your road has taken you to a place where you needed to collect experience, feel deeply felt feelings and undergo catalyst, balancing these feelings, ordering them, coming to understand more about yourself and learning how to love yourself.

If there is one key upon which awakening turns, it is that moment of coming to love yourself enough to feel that you are worthy of being taken seriously by yourself. The culture of your people does not encourage awakening or, upon awakening, the commitment to a rule of life that offers time in every day for silence, prayer and devotion.

Do not think, my friend, that those years in your youth are wasted years. For there is nothing in life that is not sacred. There is no action, feeling or piece of suffering that is not sacred. Indeed, you cannot make a mistake in the spiritual path. For every time that you take a turn that was unexpected by your higher self and you walk into a realm of country that you have not seen before, spiritually speaking, there too the Creator has gone before you to offer you chance after chance after redundant chance to pick up that piece of the puzzle that is your next object of seeking.

The one known as N spoke of feeling anxious to move ahead, to learn what there was to learn and to obtain the riches of knowledge that would lead her to insight. We feel that we understand completely the source of this entity’s anxiety. It is, in fact, an eagerness to grow, to share, and to be. And that is a good thing.

However, the energy of anxiety is an energy that buys into the thought that there is little time left. Yet indeed, my sister, the present moment is infinite. It is well to ponder the difference between the time progression in space/time, as your everyday life experiences the running of time from past to present to future, and metaphysical time or, as this instrument might say, the Creator’s time.

In the metaphysical realm, where thoughts are things and you as a spirit are a citizen of eternity, all time is one; all time is now. Therefore, from that point of view, each spirit or seeker within incarnation exists in two worlds at once. Each soul is an interface between the world of time/space—infinity and eternity—and the world of space/time, which is an illusionary reality much like your television programs, where the Creator has set up for you a school in which you may study the lessons of love.

In this schoolroom, there is a heavy veil between the conscious and the subconscious mind. This means that there is no real awareness in the everyday, waking self of one’s true identity as a spark or a piece of the one infinite Creator that is holographic in nature.

This aliveness is present in every cell of your body. Your very cells’ hearts are love. It is the action of light upon love that has created this illusory, third-density school of souls. And you have entered this refinery, this furnace, because you desired to do at least two things: you desired to learn and you desired to serve.

As you undergo suffering and make choices that reflect your desire to be of service to others or your desire to be of service to yourself, you are working to rebalance and to, shall we say, hopefully improve the balance between love, wisdom and power.

This everyday illusion that you experience is an ongoing gift of third density. It is a gift because only in this veiled illusion, when you are intellectually unaware of the rightness of all things and the unity of all that you see, may you make profoundly heartfelt choices. These choices would not occur to you in such depth of emotion were you fully aware of who you are and why you are here, as are those in other densities of experience.

Many times, there is an agenda built into an incarnation in which incarnational lessons have been set up by you, yourself, before incarnation. They may well involve patterns which do not draw you into the intense phase of spiritual seeking until later in life. This is because, in order for you to complete patterns—as the one known as N has said—existing from prior incarnations, it has been necessary to leave personal spirituality on the back burner, so to speak, while the entity that you are within society and within relationships fulfills the patterns of those relationships and creates closure to those happy tasks that lay before the seeker in her youth.

Indeed, much of spiritual worth has been generated, long before the one known as N came into contact with a series of discoveries and events that brought her to a more conscious awareness of the desirability of the process of seeking the truth in a focused and organized manner.

To any who feel that they have come to this study of how to live well late in life, we would suggest that they are not at all late. They are precisely on time for themselves. They have gently persevered until all patterns have been fulfilled and they are now aware that it is time for this study.

There is an abundance of inspired reading that is available when studying to be wiser and move loving. We assure all those who feel somewhat intimidated by this sheer mass of material that books and words are excellent tools. We use them in speaking through this instrument. There is always a new thought or a new connection between thoughts to make when one is looking at new material or re-looking at old material, for anything spiritually inspiring will be new every time you read it, no matter how many times you read it. This is because as you progress in your own understanding, you always hear those same words in a new and different way because of the advances that you have made in your own soul-growth.

Nevertheless, far more proficient and profound than these poor offerings of words are the gifts of information and inspiration packed into the silence. Let us speak of the silence a bit, for many times entities have a cluster of questions about meditation: what is the best way to meditate, how often to meditate, and so forth. And we say to each that this is a resource that is given to you. It will be for you to choose when in your day you wish to mediate; when in your day you wish to contemplate your thoughts and perhaps try to assign to those thoughts a particular energy, a chakra, or an issue so that you may begin to see into the patterns of your own learning, your own catalyst, and your own growth. These decisions are up to you. But we would ask that you consider creating for yourself a rule of life in which you have made sure to include time for meditation and contemplation.

If we could communicate through this instrument by concept, the words that we have to offer would become pale and sickly in comparison. We offer to this instrument concepts telepathically, but this instrument cannot offer the concept. She must then translate the wholeness of our thought into a linear form of words and sentences. There is always a good deal lost when this translation process occurs. Consequently we would suggest to the one known as N and to all who seek that there is a tremendous advantage to incorporating work in the silence into each and every day, because in the silence your subconscious is entirely open to guidance by concept communication.

Therefore, even though you are not consciously aware of having gained this insight, you will find it working itself into your life and expressing itself to you so that you see that you have indeed gained in insight. You have somehow found a broader and more spacious point of view. How did it happen? My sister, it happened in the silence. It happened when you asked. That is a very important key to working with spiritual guidance. Be sure always to ask for the guidance.

There is an issue of free will here where those entities who love you and wish to help you in an unseen way are forever unable to come into your life until you invite them. If indeed you would wish us to speak with you at any time, know that you have only to ask. We shall not offer you any words. We shall offer a vibration that contains many thoughts, many concepts that are tailored to fit into your subconscious processes. That is the way guidance works. Ask, and you shall receive. But whether you shall be consciously aware of that reception is completely uncertain. For the most part, entities are not truly aware of that moment of insight, but only see its reflection in the life as they live it.

We have said earlier in this session that becoming a self-aware and consciously-polarizing spiritual entity is not a process of accumulating knowledge. Indeed, you may begin reading at any point around the perimeter in any of the religions, spiritual systems, or philosophies that offer insight and you shall find it possible to reach that unified center where all things are one as surely from one path as from another. And you will finally be aware that all in your life is perfectly balanced and that you are an instrument in the hands of the one infinite Creator, ready to play the music that can come through you because of the clusters of your gifts and your desires to serve. This is the situation of all those who seek to serve upon planet Earth.

Your mission is magnetized to you by your intent to undertake it. And many things that at first do not seem to be a part of your mission to serve turn out to be necessary turns in your path: if “A” had not have happened, then “B” would not have happened, and although “B” is unfortunate, you had to get through “B” so that you could move on to “C” and “D” and “E.” How can you see the pattern and the order of things in the moment when you are in the process of transformation? You almost never can see the pattern. Indeed, these experiences of the dark night of the soul are wonderful opportunities for you to invoke your faculty of faith.

We do not use the term “faith” in the way people of religion do. We are not talking about having faith in a certain dogmatic system or of having blind faith in the words of prophets, saints or masters. We are talking about having faith that all is well and that all will be well. This is your gift to yourself, to launch yourself out over the edge of what you know to be, in human terms, a fairly chaotic situation and say, “I know that all is well.” And those words give you wings and you can soar on them into the abyss of mystery, paradox and unknowing.

You do not have to see the pattern. You do not have to be wise. You have only to invoke faith and to ask yourself to keep your heart open so that you may love and so that you may receive the love offerings of others. For when you love, my sister, the resulting response from a very responsive creation is bread on the waters ten-fold, a hundred-fold, and a thousand-fold.

As you love, you shall be loved beyond all imagining. And indeed, all entities are already loved at the soul level by those from the unseen worlds of your own planet and from other entities in other planetary influences who have been drawn to you because of your nature, your beauty, your gifts, and your hope to serve. Know that you are surrounded by a cloud of angelic and positive beings who love you and wish only to help you to wake up, to learn and to serve with deftness, skillfulness and joy.

May we ask if there is a follow-up to that query at this time? We are those of Q’uo.

Yes, I feel that I might be a wanderer and wish that you would be able to confirm that.

We are those of Q’uo, and, my sister, for what it is worth, you are indeed a wanderer, that is that you have chosen to come here from a higher density in order to be of service at this time of the shift of consciousness upon planet Earth that accompanies the planet’s own transition from third density to fourth density.

May we ask if there is a follow-up to this query, my sister?

Yes. I’m concerned that I’ve hurt someone deeply in my patterns of change over the past couple of years and I’m wondering if that hurt that I did by leaving my husband was some type of karmic activity or if in fact there will be more karma involved in my action?

We are those of Q’uo, my sister, and are aware of your query. Let us look at karma itself before we respond more specifically to your query about karma in your life. Entities who come together have planned their relationships before their incarnations began. Perhaps during an entire lifetime, the energies between those two entities have not quite come into balance. When there is imbalance, what is holding the balance up is that there is a lack of forgiveness.

Therefore, when we speak of karma concerning a relationship, we are actually speaking of two different karmas. We are speaking of the karma of your soul path and we are speaking of the karma of the soul path of your mate. Now, given that you came into this incarnation, one of your desires being to work with this entity and to find a better balance of love and of understanding than you were able to find in the last encounter with this entity, you have the continuing challenge of clearing your own energies so that your love of this entity is clean and clear, running like the crystal streams of a beautiful fountain.

In order for you to find that fountain of love and light within yourself concerning this entity, you go through a profound process of forgiveness. Now certainly, the beginning of forgiveness is often obvious. You forgive the entity who has ignored you, abused you, or otherwise not met your needs. This is actually relatively easy to do, especially if you persist in forgiving each time that this cycle of memories which you have about this particular entity is activated or triggered in your own consciousness.

Eventually, you are able to gaze with some equanimity upon this other self that was your mate and say, “I have no bitterness, I have only love. I have only appreciation. I have only honor and respect to give to you. I hope that I may help you, whatever it is that you are doing, and if I cannot help you, then I wish you well.”

With that closure out of the way, then you start on the real work of forgiveness. Each entity’s hardest sell is the self. You can sell almost anyone else upon good ideas, ways to improve the self, and so forth, but when you come to look at your own character, your own secret thoughts and your own tangled and disturbed emotions, you do not know where to start in even grasping the situation entirely, much less forgiving the situation. Yet that is the way you stop the wheel of karma: you forgive.

So we would suggest, my sister, that in order to stop the wheel of karma in your life as it is connected with this entity, it is necessary for you to forgive yourself, again and again and again, every time this trigger is pulled that catapults you back into toxic thoughts concerning your actions. Forgive the thoughts. Forgive the other entity. Forgive the situation. And most of all, forgive yourself.

We do not take lightly the promises that entities make within incarnation. We realize that there is substantial and authentic concern that accumulates around the breaking of a promise such as marriage vows. In another incarnation, in another culture, faced with the same situation, my sister, you might not have had the luxury of freeing yourself from the toxic situation so that you might work out its metaphysical loose ends. You might well have stayed with this entity and your life would have taken a different turning. You still would have found it possible to achieve realization and insight, even in that situation, for entities can learn and can serve anywhere.

Yet, my sister, it is indeed exponentially simpler, when one perceives that one is in an unchangeable and toxic situation and one has done all that one can to no avail, to pack one’s bags and remove oneself from the day-to-day friction of such a relationship. Clearly, when you do leave a relationship like that, there is a great relief felt because you are not being buffeted on the daily basis with the suffering patterns that you have previously undergone.

Yet, you still pack yourself in that bag! So you know in your heart of hearts that, because you are not able to balance the pattern with this entity, there will be other relationships that will sound the same theme, that will pop up in your life and offer you the same work again. It may not be a romantic relationship. It may not even be a personal relationship. There are many, many ways in which you can, once again, receive the catalyst for growth that the mated relationship with your ex-husband represented.

However, the key to proceeding forward is to trust in one’s judgment and to validate one’s own decisions. This is something you felt deeply to do. How could you be wrong? And as we said before, there are no mistakes. For just like the new GPS machines that tell the driver which turn to take, if you miss a turn the GPS resets and then tells you how to get where you want to go from the new location.

You are on solid ground, metaphysically speaking. You have not erred. You have not sinned. You have not done something that somehow needs to be blessed by the other self that is your mate. You need to forgive yourself, the situation, and all aspects of that situation, including your ex-husband. That will stop the wheels of karma between you and this entity in your creation.

The one who is your ex-husband is responsible for doing the same work. You cannot do this work for him. You may never be able to have a satisfactory discussion about this with him, for it is a relatively advanced concept that one may actually move forward and not be trapped for all the life long in the consideration of what one should or should not have done.

So we would suggest to you, my sister, that you do the very serious work of forgiveness and that you then take a deep breath, square your shoulders, and embrace new life.

May we ask if there is a follow-up query at this time? We are those of Q’uo.

I don’t have any other questions. Thank you very much.

Is there a question from any in the circle at this time?

Not from me, Q’uo.

In that case, my dear friends, it is time for us to pack our own bags and leave this instrument and this group, glorying as always in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Adonai. Adonai.

  1. The lyrics to “The Long and Winding Road, by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, are:

    The long and winding road that leads to your door Will never disappear. I’ve seen that road before. It always leads me here—leads me to your door.

    The wild and windy night that the rain washed away has left a pool of tears crying for the day. Why leave me standing here? Let me know the way.

    Many times I’ve been alone and many times I’ve cried. Anyway you’ll never know the many ways I’ve tried, And still they lead me back to the long and winding road You left me standing here a long, long time ago. Don’t leave me waiting here, lead me to your door.