Question from J: The question this evening has to do with the process of seeking. As the seeker tries to integrate everything that it is attempting to learn from previous lives and from this life, Ra said the seeker becomes more and more of that which it lives, more and more as it is. And as it is, [it] is the one infinite Creator. 1 We are wondering if, as we become the one Creator, do we give up our identity? Is this something that we will miss as we become the one Creator? And as we live more and more as the Creator, it seems to have more to do with being than with doing. Could Q’uo speak to us about how the seeker progresses along the line of evolution, the upward spiraling line of evolution to become the Creator? What is gained? What is lost? And how is it done?

(Carla channeling)

We are those known to you as the principle of Q’uo. We greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator, in whose service we come to you this day. Thank you for calling us to your circle of seeking this evening. We are most privileged to join your meditation and to offer our humble opinions at this session of working. To be able to collaborate with this instrument is indeed a pleasure and we thank each of you for taking the time and the energy out of your crowded, busy lives in order to gather together to create a sacred space in which you may seek the truth.

As always, before we begin we would request of each who listens to or reads these words that each listens with care for those thoughts which resonate, leaving all of those thoughts which do not resonate behind. We greatly appreciate your using your faculties of discernment and discrimination. This will enable us to speak freely without being concerned that we might infringe upon your free will or disturb the rhythm of your path of seeking.

The question that you ask this evening is most interesting in that it combines questions about what this instrument might call the little life of one incarnation and the life of the soul stream which lives a larger life within the precincts of eternity, moving through all of the densities of experience from octave to octave, from the timelessness of alpha to the timeless of omega, only to wake at last in the alpha of the next creation. For never doubt, my friends, that you are infinite and eternal. Yes, you are sparks of the Creator and yes, you are the Creator. And once again, in the next creation, you shall again be sparks of the Creator as the Creator chooses once again to know Itself.

If we attempted to speak of one incarnation, in responding to this query, without moving at some point into the consideration of that greater sweep of being that is your soul stream, our response would be simpler to grasp. Yet it would lack the nuances requested by those within this circle. Consequently, we beg your indulgence as we may seem to move from considerations of the little life of one incarnation to considerations of the sweep of the soul stream, from which stream you have chosen very carefully those few elements of what this instrument might call personality in order that you may focus within this little life, with the potential of achieving an infinite degree of clarity that both fulfills your goals of service and learning within this present incarnation and advances the potential of your soul stream as a whole to lessen distortion, and as the one known as Jim has quoted, to live more nearly as you are.

When one begins with the basic statement that all is one, one creates a paradox which can never be explained. If all things are one, then why are entities unique, one from another? Why are they not equally holograms or images of the one infinite Creator? The paradoxes go on from there. If an entity is of the Creator, at what point would an entity not live as the Creator? These two paradoxes are only the beginning, but perhaps they are enough to indicate that when one is speaking of how to pursue the goal of the becoming the Creator, one is dwelling in a land of paradox and mystery in which the known patterns of logic shall not necessarily be of significant aid. On the other hand, if one foregoes the resources of logic and intellect and rests entirely upon naked faith, one becomes rapidly incapable of communicating with the self in a conscious manner and therefore robs the self of all the hard-won advantages of being an incarnated human being.

Therefore, we suggest neither that one rely completely upon the intellect and the use of the logical mind nor that one rely only upon the energies and essences of faith and direct apprehension or gnosis. Rather, we suggest that you become aware of the situation in which you have placed yourself as a stranger in a strange land, and as a native of that land within the body of bone and muscle, that chemical distillery that carries you so well through your physical incarnation.

You seem very limited to yourself. You must breathe to live. You must eat and drink the food and the liquid of your nourishment. You must care for a chemical distillery which eliminates that which is used [up] in a way which seems less than spiritual. In a million small ways, physicality pulls at you to remind you of one limitation or another within which you dwell in order to become yourself.

Contrariwise, contained—as the one known as L showed in her drawing, shown earlier within this circle’s discussion—there lies within this web of limitation, pain and suffering the inimitable sorcerer’s stone of now, a now which echoes from the little life to the soul stream to the one infinite Creator.

Without your physicality, without your location in space/time, without the tremendous sacrifices that you make as a soul stream in order to project yourself into a physical illusion that is space-bound and time-bound, you should not have the capacity to contain the potentiated space in which all of the boundaries between the Logos of absolute and unconditional love and the soul stream unbound by space, yet bound firmly within its own metaphysical limitations, might channel down into this space that you can hold open only within incarnation.

It is as though, within the tiny boundaries of a little life and a seemingly quite limited personality and character, you hold the Creator’s highest hope for knowing Itself, not only now in terms of space/time but now in terms of time/space and now in terms of the entire creation. The power of your position is astounding in many ways. It is as well that an entity awakening from the dream of Earth to a knowledge of its larger self has no idea of the power that it carries.

For you in a way are like puppies and you must grow into your feet and your ears and your tail. As you grow from a spiritually immature thinker to a seeker that is increasingly awake and alert and attentive, your puppy feet begin to take hold. You begin to grow into yourself, shall we say.

The kinds of strategy used by various seekers to grow more and more into a spiritually mature entity vary widely. The one known as J echoes the questions of many upon your sphere at this time who are using their memories of previous incarnations in order to gather more of a sense of who they are, the reasoning being that since there is so little of the personality that the soul stream has gathered which is given in any one incarnation, surely, as one gathers more and more details of other incarnations and is able to integrate these awarenesses into a single concept of the self, one will gain in one’s quality of knowledge about the self.

There are those who, such as the one known as S, have found that there are moments out of time that come upon one without warning or previous planning within which the sense of the self becomes resonant and clear. The intellectual content of this sense of self is almost nil. This path to the awareness of living as one is extends far more along the lines of one whose strength lies in direct apprehension, intuition and gnosis.

In addition to these two paths of grasping more and more detail from the deep memory and allowing a sense of self to come from direct apprehension are [other paths] too numerous to mention. We do not believe that it is necessary for the spiritual seeker to gain a detailed grasp of either path, or of other paths. What we hope to do as we speak to you is to give you more of a sense of your situation. The importance of either direct apprehension or the conscious integration of more and more detail of self fades before the awareness of the potential of your humanity.

You are all that there is. Focus down, through orders of magnitude beyond our ability to express it through this instrument, [into that place] where unimaginable power resides, not simply in you as you see yourself or in you as we see you, but in you as you are beyond any description on any level.

You have asked that, as spiritual awareness is gained, as one is able to live more as one is, what is gained and what is lost. Let us look first at the process that exposes the gain.

You come to know yourself beyond the details of your preferences and into the way it feels, smells and tastes to be you. We are attempting to push you beyond your senses, but use the senses that you understand in order to indicate that each of you is a bloom within eternity that is exquisitely unique, not simply in this little life but in the larger sense of a soul stream of infinite experience and variety. How it is that, as the soul stream builds itself through density after density and experience after experience, it somehow stays true to itself, we have no way of knowing. We only observe that it is so.

What do you gain as you become more aware how it feels to be you? You gain freedom and peace. You have no need to defend. You have no need to protect. You have no need to explain. You are. And who and what you are is a creature of such beauty, truth, worth and life that any container of words or concepts that you might attempt to use to say, “I Am and I hold you, you are the one infinite Creator” [is inadequate]. But that infinity, that Creator-ness is unique to you and is the gift that you give to the infinite One. It is, therefore, beyond price.

What do you lose as you gain in that feeling of your own essence? In a way, it may be said that you lose a great deal, for as you become more comfortable with that deepest self that you are beyond distortion, distortions begin to fall away. Do you value yourself because you are good at telling jokes? Perhaps that quirk of personality falls away and the jokes at which you laugh are not those any longer which cause those about you to join in laughter.

It is as though one asked an old person what he had lost by becoming old. He could say, “I have lost my looks, my teeth, my sense, my ability to go four hours without going to the bathroom,” or he could say, “I have lost my fears, my worries, my anger, my prejudice, and my self-imposed limitations.” There is no question, my friends, that in the process of becoming a more mature entity, spiritually speaking, things shall fall away from you and that which you are shall bear less distortion and more love.

If you value your distortions and say, “I Am who I am because of these distortions, be they physical or emotional or quirks of personality or having to do with particular gifts or particular limitations,” then you shall feel the loss of much as you become closer to congruency with the frequency and vibration of the one infinite Creator, which is Love.

As this instrument, who is a mystical Christian, would put it, as you become aware of your sainthood and your home within the heavenly realms shared by angels and those who have not descended into the vibrations of Earth, you lose the particularity, which may be dear to you, of your rank in society, your outer abilities, and all of those preferences by which you have distinguished yourself from others.

What is gain and what is loss when you are gazing at the opportunity in one small life to hold a channel or space that connects particularity to the infinite and that brings or can bring the infinite love and the light of the One from the very blazing heart of the mystery into sturdy, stable life, a life that moves through you without effort, but with infinite and intense intention? This is your opportunity to be and, in that beingness, offer your channel, your instrument, your essence, hollowed out, empty of the details of gifts and personality, so that your life and the life of your world may be lit from within by love.

You ask, finally, how do we live as we are? My friends, each moment of your life is a moment in which the potential for being, for knowing that you are a being, and for leaning into that knowledge with intention to serve, is held like a gift before you. Shall you take that gift in this moment? You may perhaps be distracted, but another moment shall come immediately, and then another, and then another. And so it is. There is no moment in your life as a third-density entity in incarnation that is not utterly and completely full of the opportunity to know the self, to accept the self, and to become the Creator.

My friends, while we are aware that we have barely scratched the surface of this most interesting query, we feel that it is a good time to pause and ask if there is a follow-up to this question. We are those of Q’uo.

I would like to ask you to comment on a theory I have. On piecing this together properly, I am starting to see that different incarnations, different lives, are like pieces of a puzzle that fit together over time until eventually the whole puzzle is shown. And yet each piece is still in the puzzle so that there is nothing experienced that is lost. There is perpetual gain and growth and [the puzzle is] continually added to, added to what is you, so that you aren’t growing smaller. You are growing bigger. Does this seem to be an adequate way of wording that concept?

We are those of Q’uo, and are aware of your query, my sister, and we would answer in two ways. Firstly, we would say that, indeed, the experiences of one incarnation and another and another and so forth, do, indeed, create an ever more detailed and articulated expression of the self that is the soul stream. In that way, my sister, you are quite correct.

In another way, we would point out that from our standpoint, at least, and as you know, it is our opinion only…

[Side one of tape ends.]

(Carla channeling)

…it is helpful within one incarnation to accept the premise that that which is needed for you to learn and to serve to your highest and best has been offered and, therefore, that there is not the advantage that there may seem to be to gather other incarnational detail. We say this because the process of becoming more and more the self is a process of refinement and distillation of essence. It is not the multiplication of detail that informs the deepest part of the self. Rather, it is the willingness of the self to open the processes of emotion and sensation to distillation and refinement.

The self that you are, both within incarnation and as a soul stream, is a self in which there are many, many layers, moving down through the surface of consciousness, the upper levels of the subconscious, and down into the roots of mind, amongst those roots most importantly being those of the archetypal self.

You, as an instrument of particularity and infinity combined, have the capacity to dwell within the surface of your emotions, responding with impulsivity and vigor to each and every feeling. You also have an infinite capacity to allow emotion to penetrate the conscious self, the dreaming self, the self that walks the corridors of myth and lore, and the self that has gained access to those great waterways of emotion that make up the archetypal mind.

To ask the self to allow emotions to be refined and purified is to ask the self to walk into the fire of suffering. For if one defends against pain of an emotional type or a spiritual type, one ceases to be able to go deeper within those many, many levels of self that move into the archetypal mind. Indeed, it is through repeated experiences with such deeply painful emotions such as grief, anger, jealousy and rage that one, oh so slowly, becomes able to bear the beauty of pure emotion.

As in all things spiritual, the paradox is that as one is able to open oneself to the pain of going deeper within one’s emotional life, one is more and more able to see, to bear, to hold, to accept the emotions of joy, bliss and peace. For as in all of the levels and ways of understanding the one infinite Creator, the essence is always love. Consequently, the river of grief, the river of rage, all rivers whatsoever of purified emotion, lead at last into the ocean of bliss, which is the steady state of infinite love. It is, in a way, terrifying not to defend the self.

We do not encourage being undefended if there is something to defend. We do not encourage you to push past that which you can bear. We ask you to draw careful boundaries when you need to do so, that you may contain in an integrated and healthy way that personality shell with which you came into incarnation. It is well to protect your sanity and your sense of self. It is far better to do this and to move more slowly towards the purification of emotion than to ask the self to move beyond the bounds that it can bear.

But know and be confident in the fact that there is help that is available when emotions that you are processing are difficult, so that perhaps you may open just a hair more and be just one iota less fearful because you can feel the help that is with you, that is sustaining you, and will enable you to bear more.

For as you bear more, as you undergo the suffering at a deeper level, you are burning away distortion. You are purifying the emotions you came in to attempt to purify. And when you are learning in these ways, that activity is highly protected. There is the need to acknowledge the help and to ask for the help, but the help is as near to you as your breathing.

May we answer you further, my sister? We are those of Q’uo.

No, thank you. Your words resonate with me very well.

We are those of Q’uo, and we thank you, my sister. We would ask if there is a final query at this time. We are those of Q’uo.

I have a follow-up to that last. If one is able to manage to integrate all of their reincarnational aspects, would this make the learning of lessons during life more efficient and also would it make polarization more efficient?

We are those of Q’uo, and we believe that we are aware of your query, my brother. The adding of detail from various incarnations to that which is known of the incarnation within which you experience time and space may, in some cases, clarify issues that are puzzling. And it is perhaps because it is time for a clarification of such issues that memories of a previous incarnation would bleed through. Consequently, we may say that there is a positive aspect to working with incarnations besides the one in which you now experience life.

However, my brother, there is a corresponding limitation which is brought about by the valuing of other incarnations’ details. This is due to the fact that each incarnation is a whole in and of itself. The entity that you were in any other incarnation would be unrecognizable to you from the standpoint of a personality, or as this instrument might say, a personality shell. This is to say that in each incarnational opportunity, you have taken from an infinite store of characteristics, gifts and limitations and previous associations a tiny portion of the whole and have created for yourself a persona, an avatar 2, if you will.

For your avatar to play a pure game, it needs nothing but its essence. The power of added details to distract the self within this incarnation from a full amount of respect for its essence when in this incarnation is variable, but in some cases, it may be helpful to release the details of other incarnations—not your knowledge of them—if they have come to you and are justly a part of what you know. Rather, we would suggest that you release them from the stricture of attempting to mold them into one larger being that tells you more than you will discover when, as the one known as S said, you sit in the sunshine and are suddenly aware of yourself.

My friends, it is with sadness that we part from you, for we have greatly enjoyed this conversation and the beauty and courage of your spirits. And the sacred space they have made is awesome.

Thank you. Thank you for calling us. Thanks to this instrument for collaborating with us. Thanks to the one infinite Creator, whom you and we all serve, for this opportunity to be together in His love and in His light. We are known to you as those of the principle of Q’uo. We leave you, as we found you, in the love and the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai.

  1. Ra, Session 73, October 21, 1981. In context, the quote reads:

    It seems to me that the primary thing of importance for those on the service-to-others path is the development of an attitude which I can only describe as a vibration. This attitude would be developed through meditation, ritual, and the developing appreciation for the creation or Creator which results in a state of mind that can only be expressed by me as an increase in vibration or oneness with all. Could you expand and correct that statement?

    I am Ra. We shall not correct this statement but shall expand upon it by suggesting that to those qualities you may add the living day by day and moment by moment, for the true adept lives more and more as it is.

  2. An avatar is defined by as “the descent of a deity to the earth in an incarnate form or some manifest shape; the incarnation of a god.” In use on the internet and in video games, it has come to mean a graphic image that represents a person. Q’uo seems to use both of these meanings to some extent in using this word.