Y: This question is about catalyst. We know from Ra that a catalyst unused mentally and emotionally manifests in the physical body as an ailment. I am experiencing a repeated pattern of pelvic misalignment and lower back pain. I see that the cause of it lies in my difficulty in expressing my true nature, which is love, compassion and appreciation toward other selves. I often have thoughts and intentions of expressing love and appreciation but do not find it comfortable to say or to show that. It produces conflict within; positive energy wants to be expressed but can’t. The pelvic area and lower back is within the second-chakra influence. In the emotional body [the chakra is concerned with] the relationship of self to other self. This is my line of thinking. Would you be able to confirm this line of thinking or am I off here? If you agree with my interpretation would you comment on any spiritual principles involved in this difficulty for me to express positive, loving energy, true self, outwardly?

(Carla channeling)

We are those of the principle known to you as Q’uo. We greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator, in whose service we come to you this evening. Thank you for calling us to your meditation group. It is a privilege to be so called and we are delighted to speak with you concerning catalyst and illness of the physical body.

First, however, as always, we preface our remarks by requesting that each of you who listens to or reads these words will use your discrimination and your powers of discernment to take those things from what we say that seem good to you to work with and leave the rest behind. It is impossible for us to hit the mark for each of you with all of our words so we ask that you choose among them for those that resonate to you. If you will do this, we will feel much more comfortable about sharing our thoughts, without being concerned that we might in some way infringe upon your free will or disturb the rhythm of your spiritual walk. We thank you for this consideration.

Each of you is possessed of a physical body and a body connected with each chakra. This gives you a sensitive and complex set of vehicles which express various levels of your energy. Further, you have access to guidance and help from your higher self, from those angels and inner guides who have been attracted to you because of your spiritual essence, and from spirit as a whole. That is to say that the entire universe vibrates in sympathy with you. And depending upon that which you choose upon which to expend your energy, the creation itself responds to that expenditure of energy with an answer that is in harmony and congruent with your energy.

Consequently, perhaps the first thing that we would say is that when you are looking at the inner action between your thoughts and feelings and a physical illness that is manifesting, it is not a simple model such as psychologists would offer you—the psyche and the soma, the mind and the body, or the emotions and the body. It is a complex system of bodies expressing the levels of your essence from the very top of your personality, the impulsivity, the spontaneity, the moment, down through various levels of your energy expenditure into the very roots of your consciousness, and beyond that, into the energy of your soul stream as a whole.

Therefore, it is improbable, if not impossible, that a simplistic concept shall prove to be the reliable answer when it comes to the connection between mind and body, or emotions and body. We do not discourage you from making, for instance, the assumption that because the portion of the body that is affected is in the orange-ray chakra area, that there is something to do with relationships within the mind and the emotions that is affecting the body. What we do wish to do is encourage you to lift up from literal connections and take upon yourself, in thinking about this relationship betwixt emotions and mind and the physical body, the kind of attitude a storyteller has.

When a storyteller is telling a story, there is a part of it, perhaps the backbone of it, that is literally so. But there are other elements in the story that create of it a tall tale or a yarn, as the saying goes, a tale that has been embroidered to emphasize certain aspects. It is helpful to tell yourself the story of the illness that you seem to be experiencing. It is helpful to relax the mind, imagine the self sitting at the campfire and telling the story of this to someone else in such a way that it catches some of the mystery that is between the lines of mind and body. For that which is inner to you is not simply a mind. It is not simply that which can compute, as this instrument would say when speaking of computers. It is not a tool only for intelligent thought, logical ratiocination, and the use of logic. It is also a mind that has tremendous access to intuition and insight, to poetry, to the melody of your life, not simply the words, but the song of it.

In many cases when there is physical illness that is not simply the basic story of one’s main chakra expression, which in the case of orange ray is relationships with the self and with others. There is also the lifetime that has been spent living that story that is your story; experiencing deep emotions, positive and negative, so-called. There are tears in the story. There is laughter. There is heartbreak. There is suffering. There are all the interior processes that make of you a unique being, responding to the catalyst of the incarnation moment by moment in your own unique way. No one else in the Creation shall respond just as do you. Your energy expenditures are your own choice. And as you mature in the spiritual life, they become more and more distinct, as you shake off the cultural conditioning of what this instrument would call “the buzz” or “the matrix” that engulfs those about you, and you, in its grasp.

Indeed, you may choose consciously not to be a part of the matrix. You may turn off your television. You may stop reading the newspaper. And yet, because of the fact that you are a social animal and your life revolves around relationships, as you go about your daily business and do your errands and purchase that which you need for comfort and the necessities of life, you pick up the buzz and the matrix, it is everywhere. Even if you eschew human society altogether, it shall come to you in the shape of your own issues, your own inner tensions and dynamics. In other words, your own ways of expending energy, psychic energy, intellectual energy, emotional energy, and spiritual energy.

You notice we did not speak of physical energy, although that certainly is a type of energy, because of the fact that your query has to do with the probable or possible effect of inner work upon the physical vehicle and its wellness. In the course of a lifetime, there will be repeating lessons. They repeat not to punish you but because of the way you have shaped your incarnation.

Before the incarnation began, you and your higher self carefully placed within that incarnation relationships, gifts and challenges that were designed to help you reduce distortion within your soul stream. You hoped in this lifetime to discipline your personality by bringing it more into balance with itself among the three energies of love, wisdom and power.

There are many entities whose goal is to open the heart. Before incarnation the assessment was that there was an overbalancing toward wisdom and consequently the challenges of a particular incarnation are set up to offer catalyst that has the result of opening the heart.

Others have an opinion of themselves before incarnation, when there is much more information on the full self available to them. They feel that they have been too much in the heart and have not attempted to learn the ways of wisdom. Often those who are wanderers, that is, [who] come from another density elsewhere in the creation of the Father, will find themselves to be uninterested in wisdom and interested only in the keenest and most compassionate love. Yet this is somewhat of a distorted balance, for compassion and love are balanced by wisdom so that there is compassionate wisdom and wise love.

There are also those who are concerned with that called power, which is created in love and in wisdom by the discipline of the personality. When an entity has become very disciplined, the issue then becomes the right use of power. And that may link either into love or into wisdom or into both. So it is difficult to offer one blanket statement as to how incarnations work because there are these three elements upon which it is possible to base the incarnational lessons of a lifetime.

However you set up your life, the idea was for it to spiral, not, as many feel, repeat. Rather, the image would be that of the spiraling staircase that moves upward, and yet, if you gaze up through the staircase from the bottom, you can see that there is that point in the staircase that repeats in each spiral. It is the same place relative to the center of the spiral, yet every time a lesson repeats, you are at a different place in the evolution of your mind, your body and your spirit.

So you are working on your incarnational lesson. You can think of it as an independent study in the School of Life. And yet when it comes around again, you cannot simply say, “Well that’s the same thing,” for you are at a different place in your development. So when it occurs, it is time to take it into consideration as if it were something new.

The benefit of understanding how incarnational lessons work is that when you see an incarnational lesson coming around again, when you see and hear your theme music playing, you do not have to become despairing or discouraged. You can simply say, “Ah, my incarnational theme has come around again. It is time to spend some heartfelt honor, respect and support upon this situation so that I may open this gift I have been given and appreciate it and cooperate with it.”

We are not saying in any way that an illness such as the one known as Y has asked about is easy to take. What we are saying is that even the challenges of an incarnation are gifts to be opened with thanksgiving.

Now let us look at the premise of this query. There is much about it that is accurate. It is indeed so that catalyst that is not used by the mind and the emotions finds its way towards expression in the physical body. But that statement is not the whole of the picture. That statement is one fundamental truth concerning the relation between the electrical body or the inner self and the physical body or the outer self.

One thing that we find helpful to suggest is that there are many entities who have chosen various ways to change their circumstances if parameters set before the incarnation are not met. Say that the desired incarnational lesson requires a certain amount of inner work of a certain kind. In this instrument, for instances, there are parameters to be met concerning the amount of inner work done to support outer work. Again and again within this incarnation this instrument has come up against a full stop, physically speaking. The balance has always been regained as the instrument was unable to do anything but inner work and consequently the frequency of energy that is non-physical was able to come into balance with the energies of physicality.

Why do people put such roadblocks in their own way? It seems counterproductive to stop the self from activities that seem service-to-others in polarity and a comfort to the self to perform. The reason is the desire of the self before incarnation to work on the balance of love, wisdom and power. There is that hope that such measures as the falling into illness and being unable to do physical activities will create an atmosphere and an environment in which the inner work may better be done. The self can still, through the action of free will, refuse to do that work. Yet the opportunity to do the work is provided by the illness.

We wish the questioner to understand that we are walking around this query with great care for the questioner, not wishing to infringe upon her free will but wishing to offer possible resources for thinking concerning this query. Therefore, if we seem to lift from one subject and come down upon another, it is because we feel that we have exhausted the useful material in a certain area and therefore move on to another consideration and we do that now.

We would look at the complexity of the chakra system for a moment for there are two ways in which to think about the orange-ray chakra that do not immediately come to mind. One interesting aspect of the orange-ray chakra is that while it is entirely concerned with relationships, the relationship of the self to the self is as important as the relationship of the self to other-selves. Frequently, when there is catalyst in the mind and in the heart that is unused by the self, it has to do with the relationship with the self rather than the relationship with another self.

It is tempting and seductive to gaze at an other self that seems to have an effect upon the situation as regards the chakra blockage, yet it is not necessarily accurate to assume that there is another self involved. Quite frequently, it is the self in relation to the self that creates the catalyst that manifests eventually in physical discomfort.

Now, how can this happen? How can a self be in relationship to itself? The answer to that lies in the way you are made up. You see, you feel as though you are a closed system, but in reality, you are an open system. You are part of a soul stream. And echoes and inklings of your whole self are constantly moving through the gateway of intelligent infinity as they find it possible to do so because of your open heart, and offer you expanded awareness in one aspect or another of your seeking.

Certain authors that you read, certain poems that you come across, music that you hear, those who offer wisdom, however you come across such voices, may well be part of a group with which you have had to deal in the past, and those words will be especially resonant to you. Where much energy has been expended in other incarnations, the intensity lingers.

And so, from mystery come feelings and sensibilities that may well not have to do with that which is in your immediate physical environment. You are a mysterious being. Much of you is hidden. And the glory of progressing through an incarnation in such a way that you are able to gain clarity, little by little, as to who you are and why you are here, is that you become able to see yourself in a different way; to see yourself not as a finite entity that has this and this and this characteristic, but rather to see yourself as an infinite being which contains all things so that there are vast number of possibilities for you, not a few but an infinite number.

This may not seem to help you immediately to think about the situation of physical discomfort and how that happened, but it is helpful to win through to a more and more undistorted view of yourself and your potential. There is tremendous health of mind, body and spirit in rejecting fear in all its forms.

As this applies to the orange-ray chakra and to the relationship of self to self, you may see yourself as an entity with many voices within her. There is the voice of your mother, your father, the voice of your teacher and another teacher and yet another; a voice of a friend, a lover, a mate, a child. All these possibilities are valid for you. They feel like your own voices. They feel like your own personality. But you have instead learned them because they were in your ear for long enough for you to begin interiorizing other entities’ concepts of you, other entities’ opinions of you.

It is not a small thing when someone disrespects you. If there is a parent in your ear saying, “You are no good. You’ll never be worth anything. You never get it right,” that will hurt you each and every time you interiorize that voice. Those are voices of fear and they are not accurate.

Each entity has dignity, integrity and selfhood that is excellent. The voices that try to tear away at that concept of self that sees and respects the self and loves the self are deleterious to the wellness of that integrated mind and body and spirit. And this is why we speak of fear and love, for those voices of fear need to be forgiven and allowed to leave, gently but firmly. When a thought as to one’s unworthiness, foolishness or stupidity comes into the mind, remove it, knowing it is not accurate.

There is an activity that we would recommend highly as you work to clarify your understanding of yourself and that is attention paid to the present moment. Watch yourself throughout your day. When you see that something has triggered an impulse in you, pay attention to that trigger. The triggers are a sign of unexpressed pain.

Somewhere towards the end of the day, find yourself a little time and a little space so that you may think over the day and ponder each trigger that moved you. Say you had a reaction of irritation and impatience. This kind of reaction occurs when you strike something that is buried within you that has caused you pain. To each observing soul within incarnation, the rest of the world is as a hall of mirrors. It helps you see yourself. When you react to someone else’s behavior, you are reacting to that because you have not found it within yourself. You have not forgiven it. You have not asked it to work with you for the good, for the light, for the love of the infinite Creator. And so it remains in your shadow, unintegrated and unrecognized.

Therefore, those who irritate you, make you impatient, or make you angry or jealous or any of those seemingly difficult emotions are doing you the favor of bringing to your attention a part of yourself that you have neglected. And why would you not wish to neglect the murderer within you, the adulterer within you and so forth? But we are not suggesting that you act out all of these roles. We are suggesting that you gaze at the type of energy that is expended when you are working with certain emotions.

In many cases, you may see the activity of that emotion as a marker for buried pain. Perhaps the incident that originally caused you to bury this pain was so far back in your childhood that you cannot remember it. Yet it is holding attention within you that is toxic. So the more that you can ponder those triggers, feel them, respect them and pay attention to them, the more you will be able to come into balance within your chakra body, within your inner electrical bodies.

You do not do this by simply paying attention to the irritation and impatience. You move further than that. After you have focused on these feelings and really paid attention to your own pain, you then ask to experience the opposite of that emotion. Just as negative emotions are based in fear, so positive emotions are based in love. You’re asking yourself to allow the dynamic opposite of patience and irritation to be felt by you with the same intensity that you felt the irritation.

You do not cause it to happen, but rather you allow it to happen by setting your intention to feel that and then allowing it to develop naturally. It may take some time at first but soon you will find that you have a knack for this and are able to hold in your mind the feeling of the fear-based emotion of impatience and irritation and the positive, love-based emotions of compassion and serenity. And when you can see both things and know that you are both things, a healing takes place concerning that particular [emotion]…

[Side one of tape ends.]

(Carla channeling)

…and you are able to release the pain and feel the self as being larger than that pain and therefore free of being imprisoned or limited by the experience of that catalyst.

We would say to the questioner that it is well to come into a relationship with the self in which there is no fear, no tension, no judgment, and no tendency towards discouragement. The days of an incarnation are very limited and it is well to win freedom from the judgment towards the self that compromises that relationship of self to self. This instrument has often described the desired result of such work as falling in love with the self. When you are in love with someone, they can do no wrong. They might make an error, but it is a small thing. The essence of that person is so appreciated and seen in such a strong and clear light that there are simply ways to love that entity based on their imperfections as well as their perfections.

It is easier for the thoughtful and sensitive seeker to love another with that kind of romantic glow than it is to love the self with that same aura of deep appreciation and respect and yet, dear one, you deserve it. You have earned it over and over. You are worthy.

When the orange ray is compromised by unworthiness, it reflects upon the indigo ray as well, for the indigo ray is the higher chakra in which the self is steeped in the devotion to the Creator that allows for work in consciousness and for the passage of passive radiation of light.

So you see, there are echoes and inner relationships betwixt the chakra bodies, chakra to chakra to chakra, that are very subtle and impinge upon the situation of how the body manifests unused catalyst.

Finally, we would make observations concerning the tendency of the mind/body/spirit to solidify around the concept of pain. We do not say that pain and discomfort are not real. When the physical body is compromised it must complain. It is the nature of a physical body to do so. Yet there is not the solidity and cement-like quality to this pain that there seems to be on the surface.

Again, you are an open system and you are vulnerable to energy expenditures. Therefore pain can be far more transparent than it may seem. Indeed, there may be occasions when the challenge of moving through a difficult and painful experience physically enables the self to be in an emotional environment that is lifted up into the light to a vastly intensified degree.

This is due to the fact that pain has a remarkable ability to focus the mind and the body. And therefore, in that focused state, the mind and body are vulnerable to work in consciousness where the discomfort has acted as that which collects the self so that if the mind is then turned to spiritual goals, such as the hunger and thirst for the presence of the one infinite Creator, that focus can become an opening into the light. And much balancing work can be done in that heightened, sensitized state that is not likely to be done when the self is comfortable and relatively oblivious and unfocused.

Such are the subtleties of the gifts of discomfort of the physical type or the emotional, mental or spiritual type.

Above all, my sister, we would say to you that there is no punishment involved in physical discomfort, or emotional pain, or mental anguish, or spiritual dark nights of the soul. They are all environments, say, rooms into which you walk in which the energies offer certain gifts. If you take too literally the atmosphere in each room, you will solidify about yourself some version of the truth. We encourage you instead to remain open and fearless and, above all, non-judgmental as to the self. Rather than thinking about what you could have done or what you should do, think about why you are here, who you are and what you truly seek to do, to be, to manifest in this life. You have said that you have difficulty in expressing love. Express love to yourself. Work upon this within yourself. Work until you find yourself moving through an entire day without one single time that you say to yourself, “That was stupid, I didn’t do that right.” Let yourself love yourself. And if you can say to yourself, “I love you, I respect you, I honor you, I support you,” you shall soon be able to say it to others.

We would at this time ask the one known as Y if she has a follow-up to this query. We are those of Q’uo.

Well, originally I did have follow-up but I think you already answered it. I was going to ask if any physical ailment whatsoever, such as a simple cold or a twisted ankle, is a manifestation of unbalanced energy on the mental/emotional level, but what I think you are saying is much more complex than that and there are other things involved.

We are those of Q’uo, and, my sister, we would certainly agree with you that the picture is more complex than that, yet at the same time we would not wish to take away from you the simple, logical understanding of the basic principle which is that when that catalyst that comes to you is not worked through on the mental and emotional level, it will manifest within the body. It is only to say that there are possibilities that become more likely as one is more sensitive and more activated or awake on the spiritual level, which have to do with those reactions which you cannot accomplish in such a way as to use the catalyst emotionally or mentally.

For instance, if there is placed within the physical body an electrical system that is only tangentially compatible with the vibrations of Planet Earth and the environment of Planet Earth, there will be inevitable challenges when the body is wired differently than the planet because of preincarnative choices. So there are inevitable failures of the non-physical to be able to use up the catalyst before it finds a physical manifestation. And in such a situation, you need to give your physical body all the credit that it is due for it is dealing with a challenging situation in dealing with the vibrations of Earth as opposed to the vibrations of a fourth-density, fifth-density or sixth-density environment. And yet that body carries you gallantly, supports you unquestioningly and offers the opportunity to be as you are—as all third-density entities are.

[Planet Earth is] a marvelous place where the infinite can express with infinity; that is to say, where the energies of the metaphysical can have a home and a place to radiate within the physical illusion that is in so many ways so heavy, so dark, and so limited. You are the light of the world. Let that be the comfort that strengthens you to meet the moment of discomfort when it occurs.

We are those of Q’uo, and find the energies of this instrument begin to wane. Consequently we shall take our leave of this instrument and this group, leaving each in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We are known to you as the principle of Q’uo. We thank you with all our hearts for your courage and your determination to seek the truth. We are awed by your beauty. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.