[overview] Our question today is about how we can relate to family, whether it is chosen family or given family, when we find ourselves in conflict in ways that seem irreconcilable and difficult to relate to from the heart.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and am instrument at this time. We thank each of you for your dedication to seeking the truth and joining together to share your journeys, however plentiful or difficult they may be. To share such is to become One in some fashion with each other and to aid each other on this path that each of you travels through the third density illusion.

Your question this day is one which concerns family. Families come in many forms: the birth family that each of you has been raised in with mother and father and siblings, the family of those within your educational environment, your work environment, your special-interests environments, all drawn together by certain types of experience and dedication which offer you the ability to continue on your pre-incarnatively chosen path. We would add at this time that what we are sharing with you is our opinion. And we hope that you will recognize that and take that which is of value and leave behind that which has no value for you at this time.

For what we wish to share this day with you is that you all are together members of many families—the family of humanity being the largest that you know of on this planet. And within all families at this time on your planet, there is a balance, or a type of representation, of disharmony and harmony. Each of you has a choice, the basic choice of this third-density illusion: to be of service to others or service to self. And we would assure you that in most cases, all members of the family would consider themselves in service to others, whether they be sharing an opinion of you that is difficult to consider because it has aspects that are critical and suggest that you are not who you should be in that there are changes that you need to make because of your inability to be that which another thinks you must be. We are aware of how hurtful and demoralizing such opinions can be, especially when they come from those whom you have felt to be the closest members of a family of spiritual seekers or the family of the birth. For these are families are focused upon the foundation of each person's reason for existence: to discover more and more of the nature of the One Infinite Creator within each entity about one, within the creation about you, and within yourself as well.

These are the prime building blocks, shall we say, of a life pattern. So when you are criticized for not living up to the best of what you are able to do, or should be doing in another's eyes, it begins to shake the foundation of one's being, until one must contemplate the basic quality that constitutes one's being. And we would suggest to you, my friends, that you, and your other selves of the family, are portions of the One Infinite Creator that has placed itself in every portion of the universe around you, in every entity that you know, and have ever met, or shall ever meet, or shall never meet, for the Creator is within all things for the very purpose of coming to know more about itself. And you, as representatives of this One Creator, carry out this same mission under the most difficult of circumstances, with the veil of forgetting hiding the basic nature of the creation as being that of unity—hiding it so effectively that you are easily convinced that there is something other than the One Creator that is the foundation of your being, that you are providing the Creator with ways in which it might know itself better with more intensity, and variety, and purity. Whatever your choices that you make, you cannot fail in that responsibility, the ability to respond as the Creator. So, how do you make the most effective response to those criticisms and allegations that suggest that you are less than what you should be—less than the Creator? We would suggest that within each entity's heart, the green-ray energy center, is the ability to tap into the wisdom of the heart, which we would suggest is that type of love and acceptance of others that does not place any condition upon freely giving that love.

How does that translate in your third density illusion? In your meditations, perhaps you may see with more clarity how the heart links you to each other entity so that you are bound by the consciousness of love that is reflected, more or less clearly, at all times within each seeker's experience. We would suggest that perhaps as you consider the criticisms that are leveled upon you that you see that there are preincarnative choices that you have made as a family before the incarnation. The family that you are part of, in the spiritual sense, before incarnation, is a family which gives each member a mission within the incarnation so that each may help each other in ways that may not, at the time of the incarnation, seem most helpful. If you can look through the criticisms and the allegations to see a wider point of view, that there is a play upon the stage, that each of you has a part in this play, and that your part is to give love, without expectation of return.

Wherever there is any question about an action to take, you can look within your own open heart and find the qualities of unconditional love and the compassion that is the consciousness of love, and allow this energy to move through you, from the One Creator, to any that offers opposition, or difficulty, or points of view that seem skewed and misshapen. [You may] aid such an entity and your own self by projecting the open arms of love, compassion, unity, and the light that shines clearly within the soul of each entity; to reveal to all who have eyes to see the quality of unity that binds each entity with a purpose created before the incarnation that is played out within the incarnation so that all may receive the bread of life, shall we say, the food for the growth of the soul, of the spirit, of the consciousness; the opening of the heart that allows you to commune, upon a level perhaps that is unseen and unperceived by another being, but is known, without doubt, by the One Creator within all. For that same creator speaks to you, through you, to all for there is nothing but the One Creator. At this time, we shall transfer our contact to the one known as Austin. We are known to you as those of Q'uo.

(Austin channeling)

I am Q'uo and am now with this instrument. We find within this instrument a certain sensitivity that allows us to refine our message and disclaimer to seekers wishing to utilize the thoughts that we share with you on this day. This sensitivity, we find, is geared towards those who may find our words and find within them the inspiration to take up the mantle of universal love, acceptance, and service to others when approaching such a dynamic as you have described within your query and attempt to relate within a situation that may become harmful, or what might be known as abusive—thus adopting the mantle of a martyr. Further, there may be a situation in which a dynamic within what you describe as a family involves an individual or individuals who have yet to find within themselves the true sovereign power of their beingness as a creator of love, and thus might misuse or misinterpret those ideas that we share with you. And so we offer a refinement to our general disclaimer in that these opinions that we share with you are not intended to apply to each specific scenario, and each specific case. This is a matter of interpretation for each seeker who wishes to find value in our words. We speak generally and desire most to offer thoughts that empower each seeker to discover within them not only their capacity to love and to create, but also their right to express themselves and create for themselves a life and a creation in which they may feel safe and maintain an ability to continue their seeking and to continue to refine their love as an expression of service to others.

We find that within your query the notion of family might be at the heart of this variety of interpretation. And so, we choose to work with a definition in which “family” is a shared and accepted notion among all individuals within the dynamic to which you are speaking. Whether this family is chosen, or whether this family is by circumstance of birth, we find that the notion of family is a shared story among your people and the usefulness of offering acceptance and universal love requires one to examine the shared notion between self and other self. What is the story of this family? Within your query we find that the circumstance described is one in which this must be done primarily by the self, for the notion of irreconcilable differences does not speak to a persisting shared story of family, but rather a breaking of that story. And so, first and foremost, we encourage the seeker choosing love to take this story of family into the heart and into meditation and begin the great work that requires one to sit within the self, and discover the self, and discover the true power that comes when love is realized at the heart of the self.

We encourage you to use this notion of love, service to others, as a cornerstone within this inward journey. When taking the story of family into the heart, begin by acknowledging and meditating upon your desire to love, your desire to create a creation of love, your desire to allow love to reign within all situations in which you have a capacity to influence. Always begin here, but realize that this simple concentration upon the notion of love may not be enough to resolve both internal and external conflict. And so, from this standpoint, we encourage you to begin to examine the story that has been shattered among the family that you are holding within your heart.

This requires the individual to consider the variety of perspective and how such a variety comes to be. For each entity—self and other self—has walked a journey with an infinite number of influences upon the being, and within your third density, these influences are largely unseen and unknown. You cannot know the true journey of the other self. And indeed, my friends, you cannot fully know the true journey of yourself.

It may seem that any attempt to come to an understanding of these disparate journeys is futile, for within your third density, you are veiled to much of the creation. Yet we encourage you to persist through such a paradox that, though it seems futile and it is indeed an impossible task, that the [attempt] is itself a worthy one. For it is in this journey of attempting to understand other self and self and how these divergent paths may have created the tension and disharmony that has shattered the shared story of family, not only will you find practical ways to relate, but we assure you that in persisting in this task, you are declaring to yourself and to the Creator that your desire for love and understanding persists. And such a declaration carries more power than you can fathom from your perspective within third density.

And so as you attempt to examine your own journey, and imagine the journey of the other self, if at any time you feel within yourself the tension, the heat of anger, the despair and the sorrow, for as much as you can, bring these experiences into your heart and realize that this is now the shared story. This may not be as pleasant as the harmony that you desire, but it is indeed just as important and just as crucial to your being. Allow these experiences to express themselves and have their space within your being, always ensuring that you rest upon your cornerstone of the desire to discover love, the desire to serve others, and the desire to create harmony.

Within this examination, while you may have revelations, transformations, and healings that create a practical solution, or result in both an internal and external harmony in your relationship with family, we encourage you to not attach to such an outcome. For we find it is an important aspect of this process for the self to acknowledge that there is no ability to control this situation, there is no ability to change the behavior of another self. There is only the ability to discover new ways to relate so that, if external harmony amongst self and other self cannot be found, an internal harmony may be found and love may flow unimpeded by the new story of sorrow and of the broken family. We do not mean to imply that healing amongst family cannot come from this process, particularly if it is taken upon each within the family in conflict. We only mean to express that this is a process in which the outcome is unknown, and attachment to outcome can hinder the process itself.

This is a very personal journey for the self. Yet it is of utmost importance within the third density, and particularly at this moment upon your planet, for the fourth density beckons, my friends, and the notion of family is one that your planet as a whole and all entities upon it will share together.

This process in which you find tension and disharmony within your individual relationships is but a preparation for that which you know as a social memory complex, for within a social memory complex as it is fully realized within the fourth density, there remains the notion of individuality amongst each member, and, indeed, a social memory complex requires what might be called crystallized individuality among each member. And so, this process that we are encouraging you to undertake as you struggle to find a way to relate to your strained family is one in which you will learn to relate more and more to humanity as a whole. It is a process of discovering the self, understanding the self, and attempting again and again to understand other self, discovering new ways to relate, and learning more and more of the power that you hold within each relationship.

The third density is the density of choice. And more specifically, it is the density in which you choose how to relate to your other selves. This is not a singular choice, this choice is made with each individual, in each situation, and you are not expected within your density to perform perfectly with each choice to relate. You will stumble, families will strain and may break, but each time you feel the failure to relate from the heart is but another opportunity to refine how you choose to relate and to discover that the heart may be opened even more. Have patience, my friends, with yourself and with others selves, and continue to touch upon your cornerstone—that ultimate desire to love and to serve, and to realize the Creator in All. At this time we transfer this contact to the one known as Jim. We are Q'uo.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q'uo and am again with this instrument. We would like to thank each entity gathered here today for inviting our presence to share with you these thoughts of love for all family members, for you are indeed all members of the family of the Creator living on this Earth, sharing love as best you can with each other to help the One know itself in all of you. We are known to you as those of Q'uo. We leave you now in the love and the light of the One Infinite Creator. Move forth in that love and light to the best of your abilities my friends. What more can you do? Adonai vasu borragus.