Group question: Our question today is what’s the difference between service to self and self-care? How does self-care factor into the service-to-self versus service-to-others ratios, when being considered for harvest?

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo and we greet each of you in the love and in the light of the One Infinite Creator. We are most honored once again to be called here to speak with you of spiritual principles that may aid your journey of seeking the one in all. In order to do this most effectively, we ask you our perennial favor, that you consider what we have to say and how we say it with your own discrimination as to what you feel is appropriate and useful for you. And if there is anything we say that is not useful to you in you in your own spiritual journey, that you set it aside. If you would grant us this favor, then we will feel more able to speak openly about those words and concepts which have, we hope, use to you at this time.

Your question this evening is one which is an interesting question in that it has various facets to it. The question of whether one’s care of the self may be considered positive or negative, and if it is one or the other, or perhaps if it is neither, is there some means by which it might aid your movement forward into the fourth density of love and understanding.

One of the facets of this question is the intention that you have when you take care of yourself. Are you in the desire to do so wishing to have the overall effect of this care be that which aids you in serving others? Is this something you are conscious of? Is this a conscious choice? A choice made with the perceived outcome, shall we say, of such a choice? Is this a choice which is made subconsciously without thought given to evaluate the potential of the choice to achieve an end that is helpful to more than yourself? Or is it your self-care that is utilized only for your own benefit in a manner which might affect another person in your circle of friends or people that you meet on the street, shall we say, in a negative way, in that you would not take their needs into consideration? These are a couple of the facets that one might consider in how one approaches the concept of self-care.

The nature of the awareness and the intention of the seeker of truth is what can only be known by the seeker of truth if the seeker of truth is conscious of his own nature, his own intentions, his desires. These must be left to the seeker in order to be able to evaluate the quality and purpose of taking care of the self.

Another facet is, you have the self that is considered the higher self, that can also participate in caring for your worldly self, your mind/body/spirit complex. You have the subconscious self that might also aid in such endeavors. If you are conscious of both of these selves and utilize their desire and ability to aid you in taking care of yourself, then again there is the possibility that this cumulative effect of unconscious and higher self working with your personality shell self, shall we say, could be utilized in a most positive manner. All of these selves, as you are also aware, are portions of the great self, the One Infinite Creator. Again, we suggest that this question, considering the layers or facets of the self, is one which is not easily determined, for much is not always consciously known by the spiritual seeker.

At this time, we shall transfer this contact to the one known as Austin.

(Austin channeling)

I am Q’uo and am now with this instrument. To explore the aspect of this query involving one’s own intention and awareness of the self and one’s own motivations behind taking self-care, or interacting with the self in any way, we feel it would be good to look back at the evolutionary progress made by each seeker and how the orientation of seeking and [orientation] of the choice develops on the spiritual journey of the mind/body/spirit complex to the Creator.

As the entity or the mind/body/spirit complex departs from the second density and enters the third density of self-awareness, the experience of the entity up to that point has been built upon what you could call instinct, or various patterns of activity that unfold in a way of action and reaction, with little contemplation for the intention or the meaning behind the actions of the individual. Once this individual entity enters into the third density, the spark of self-awareness presents itself to the entity and thus allows for the potential of that entity to reflect upon their own actions, and their own patterns, and their own environment around them in a way that allows them to approach these things in a conscious manner.

However, for the new or young third-density entity, this is not an immediate grasping of the thread, you might say. Instead, though the self has gained the spark of self-awareness, the tendency of patterns and unconscious biases continue to unfold within the entity’s own energy fields. And these patterns guide the behavior, and the actions, and most importantly the perceptions of the entity. The process of wielding this self-awareness to then become a conscious entity that interacts with the self, with other-self, and with the environment about the self, develops slowly over a period of many lifetimes, some entities quicker than others, some preferring to take the pace of the tortoise, you may say.

And often this unfolding repeats itself in a microcosm within the singular life experience or incarnation of any given entity, where it is the hope of the entity who incarnates that the previous lessons and the previous orientation of conscious awareness of one’s own being and one’s own patterns develops within a lifetime efficiently, building upon the previous experience of past lifetimes. This is an important backdrop to the question that you have posed for this circle, for it is the awareness of one’s own self and one’s own environment and other-selves, and the conscious relationship with these things, that determine the polarity of an entity. [With] the slow realization of the entity, the patterns present within the self can be realized and transmuted in a conscious fashion in order to choose how one relates to the self and to other-selves and to the creation of the Creator.

The relationship that one forms with all of these things is the heart of one’s polarity of consciousness. It is the meaning behind service to others and service to self, and even the sinkhole of indifference. For as this relationship unfolds, the seeker is confronted with the option of seeing the self in relationship to other-self and in relationship to one’s environment, and determining what these aspects of one’s experience mean to the self and how one relates to them. [The seeker could relate] in a way that either utilizes them and uses them in order to gain more power for the self, more influence, to gain the ability to mold one’s own creation, environment, and other-selves to one’s own liking so that the self can create a universe within one’s own image. Or one can gaze upon the self in relationship to all of these things, and recognize the larger patterns of the Creator unfolding in love and in light, and choose to engage with this dance of the Creator and its various harmonies, and tones, and flavors, and approach one’s own creation not with a sense of individual ownership and sovereignty as a dictator of one’s own cosmic empire, but rather as a family member taking part in a familial and harmonious activity of learning and exploring and sharing in the love and the light of the Creator.

These are depictions of what we, the Confederation of Planets in Service to the One Infinite Creator are referencing when we discuss the notion of polarity of consciousness and of service to self and service to others.

We present this depiction—which is limited, we may say, for the sake of grappling with this question—in order to present a new question for any seeker who is curious about the dynamic addressed within your query. When one cares for the self, is one doing so with the attitude of the dictator, who must preserve the self above all else and use any means necessary of other-self or self in order to prop the self up above all others, so that the universe may be ordered according to the whims of the self more effectively? This is a form of what you could call self-care, for it implies that one cares so much for the self that they are willing to do so at the expense of all else. This is an effective means of exploring the creation and is a valid path of treading the path back to the Creator from which one came.

Or does one care for the self as one cares for the rest of the creation? Does one see the self as the integral aspect of the grand majestic mechanism of the one infinite creation that must be tended to and loved and cared for, in order for this system of intricate energies, interacting and dancing with each other, to operate in harmony, and to recognize and bow to the will of the One Infinite Creator within the self, so that the Creator may shine more brightly thanks to the care one shows for the self? For when we reference the notion of service to others, this is not intended to exclude the self from being worthy of being served, of being loved, and being cared for.

We would, through this instrument, offer a slightly challenging response to everything that we have just shared. And that is that when one may see the self as caring for the self out of a desire of harmony and service to others, we also find (particularly within your third density) that this can be an easy crutch, you might say, to fall back into patterns of indifference, while telling the self that one must care for the self, in order to operate as an agent of the Creator and of service to others. And yet, it is simply because this self-care is comfortable, and is less scary than taking the risk of service to others, of facing potential sacrifice of the self in order to express one’s care for others.

This can be a complicated dynamic and requires a constant revisiting of one’s intentions, which is why we always emphasize the necessity of a regular practice of meditation and contemplation and prayer for the seeker, for with these regular practices in place, one can reserve a space for the self that allows the self to reflect upon these things and question these things regularly. If one is perhaps engaging with patterns of supposed self-care that are, in reality, more indicative of patterns of indifference and hiding behind comfort, one can reveal this reality to the self through this regular practice. And the hope is to adjust one’s perspective consciously and willfully so that the pattern of indifference can shift and the self-care becomes more genuine and in line with the desire of service to others rather than a falling back into the comfort of indifference.

At this time, we would take our leave of this instrument and transfer the content to the one known as Trish, we are Q’uo.

(Trisha channeling)

We are those of Q’uo and we are now with this instrument.

As has been spoken through the previous two instruments, careful consideration of intention and motivation are key to understanding the difference between self-care and service-to-self action. And through this instrument, we would like to explore the other end of the spectrum, if you will: the seeker who wishes to or needs to practice self-care but lacks the [self-worth], or is deceived by a sense of low self-worth. A martyr, if you will, in the journey of service to others—the one who gives and gives and gives and never allows itself the chance to receive.

This instrument is reminded of a story, or a lesson, if you will. This analogy or a metaphor [is] the idea that each soul has a vessel, a vessel of love and attention and care. And as the soul, the entity interacts with other-self, tends to other-self, in service to other-self, that entity gifts a portion of that vessel’s contents, its love, its care to the other-self, to replenish the vessel of that other-self. Without replenishing its own vessel, you can see how that vessel eventually becomes depleted. And when that vessel is depleted, the ability for that self to act in service to others is inhibited. There is a full stop to that service, for the entity has martyred themselves or sacrificed themselves to that service to others. Therefore, we would remind you, that you are worthy of that self-care, you are worthy of replenishing that vessel, whatever that may look like, so long as the intention is ultimately one of service to others, recognizing that the self is an other, is an extension of other.

If one recognizes that one’s intentions are pure, for lack of a better word, if one’s intentions are set on not controlling but loving and accepting others, one can sit in peace, knowing that actions taken to care for self are but merely part of the process in service to others.

If one is on a journey, and that journey involves many stops along the road, to visit with and know and meet various other-selves, one cannot walk that journey nonstop without break, without food, without sustenance, without moments of reflection, without moments of re-coordination. One cannot, in your experience, enter a vehicle and expect it to propel one forward forever, infinitely. One cannot expect to continually pull fruit from the tree without also nourishing the tree. It’s in that recognition that the dynamic, the symbiotic relationship becomes more clear perhaps, that there is a balance between serving others and tending to self.

Dear friends, do not forget to replenish the soil, to tend to the seed, to provide that extra care and comfort or recognize the worthiness of the extension of the Creator that you are. You are so worthy, infinitely so. Cherish yourself as such. Know yourself, accept yourself and become that greater thing. Become the Creator. Allow yourself that freedom. We do not mean this in a—we correct this instrument—we do not mean this in an egotistical or narcissistic kind of way, not in an identity driven sort of pursuit, but rather simply accepting and knowing and fully embodying the truth of the self, the worthiness of the self. Do not devalue your worth, for you are indeed an intentional manifestation within this illusion.

So, once the body begins to feel weakened, the mind not as sharp and the drive not as easily accessible, take stock of yourself and do not hold blame or judgment for yourself. If you need to, take a step aside and tend to yourself, knowing that your intentions are ultimately pure or ultimately good. And if your ultimate goal is one of service to others, and if those actions of self-care are not in conflict with your service-to-others path, do not cause harm to those along the way.

We appreciate this opportunity to speak to this very topic, for we can understand how it is a tricky line to walk. But we assure you that this line of questioning and deep consideration is extremely fruitful. And we hope that from this well, [you] understand that you are enlightened and informed and inspired to deepen this understanding and realize the interconnection and unity that is all, that is this illusion.

At this time, we shall take our leave of this instrument and transfer our contact to the one known as Kathy. We are those of Q’uo.

(Kathy channeling)

We are those of Q’uo and we are now with this instrument. And we wish to continue this very important and worthwhile, we may say, discussion of self-care and service to self and others.

You may begin with the wording “self-care” focusing on the word “care,” which comes from the English language, the old French cœur, meaning “of the heart”. And even today this word “care” is associated with the things of the heart, which of course have to do with love.1

Self-care is most commonly thought of in your illusion as an activity of development, growth, nourishment of the self. And as we have noted through the other instruments, the word “self-care” may also be interpreted in a way that is more akin to the word “focus,” which is more of the mind and less of the heart, and less having to do with love. And those entities which may have a self-focus, which may involve caring about the self and for the self in lieu of caring for others, illustrates the idea that self-care can be seen through the lens of both polarities: service to self and service to others. Self-focus, which is more of the mind, as we have said, involves less of the heart, less love in the true sense of the word love, and leads to mental and physical arrangements of events and parts of life that have to do with control.

And just hearing or reading these words, you may feel the energy of them as colder. The motivation of these words, as one might even say, selfish. Whereas, using the word self-care with its deeper meaning of “of the heart” and “love” may immediately feel a different energy, one that is positive and nurturing, encouraging and helpful to oneself as well as to others.

So, self-care may be seen through two lenses, then. Let us examine further the one lens of self-care having to do with service to others. We spoke previously the idea of martyrdom, a situation in which an entity would care so much for others, that it neglects the self and is therefore not caring for the self. But we emphasize that self-care is most important in the truest sense of the word, involving love and the energy of the heart. For this is how one develops, grows, becomes more enlightened in the truest sense of the word, through one’s own self-care, in loving oneself in a most illuminated way, the most divine way of honoring the self as divinely created. And in this way, the self becomes radiant, glowing, brimming with love for its own being as well as others.

The radiance of love is shared so powerfully, easily, and in such a way as to cause all entities around it to glow and radiate love as well. A simple smile from an entity who has cared for the self with love radiates that love; and another smiles back and then gives that smile, generated then, to another.

Self-care is an important ingredient of being able to serve others, for it is not expected or required that any one entity become 100% service to others. Indeed, the 51% or greater that has been stated will provide a balanced caring for self and caring for others out of that great reservoir of love that was created within the self to radiate outward toward others.

This is the way to know thyself as well. Caring for oneself through true love of oneself as a divine creation helps one to know oneself even better, in a true sense. For there is no pretense and no argument with self when one views oneself through the lens of love. In caring for self that way, only the most helpful and expansive truths about self will be known, adding to the radiance of that self. This also makes it much easier, then, to accept the self.

Love is the great point then, you may say, the great salve of healing. And in accepting oneself there is healing.

And finally, we may say, as the entity journeys toward becoming the Creator, using that great capacity for love will help the entity to understand to be one with the Creator, who is made of light and love, love and light.

Recognizing the love and light in oneself automatically binds the self to that knowing of the Creator, becoming of the Creator. This is the path to pure love that enables the evolution of the self in a most positive direction and assists the self in serving itself in a most positive way, but also in serving others in a loving way. It has less to do with focus on the self and more to do with loving and accepting self.

We appreciate this query and are thankful to contribute to its understanding through these words and those spoken through previous instruments.

We now take our leave of this instrument and transfer our contract to the one known as Gary. We are those of Q’uo.

(Gary channeling)

We are those known to you as the principle of Q’uo and we operate this instrument in an attempt to be of service to this query, which is one that visits the lives of many who are embarked upon the service-to-others path, whatever their particular philosophy, but especially so when one begins studying the Law of One and coming into a sharper realization as to the dynamic of service and the ways of the two paths as this particular philosophy describes them.

Even without the words and thoughts of this channeled message in this channeled body of work, one of the positive polarity would be about the same work of seeking to be sensitive to the needs of others, that they may be of aid in some way, even if not framed precisely in that way. The positive entity seeks to support others, to be interested in the promotion of their well-being and happiness. And as we have spoken, there is a necessity for such a positive entity to tend also and fundamentally to their own being, as self-neglect makes for a less full spectrum of service and power and love and wisdom available, even on the more seemingly mechanical levels of the necessities of diet, sleep, exercise, rest, and the balances therein that sustain and maintain the physical vehicle and a balanced mind complex that make one viable and available for service, so that the light, the energy, may flow through.

This is visible when working with the chakras as well. For neglect paid to the attention of the self’s needs and working processes will dim the light of those lower centers and higher centers, so that the self is less available to be a servant unto others. For one who has a chronic challenge of fully valuing, honoring, and embracing the self, we may suggest fruitfully the steady and repeated practice of contemplating the true nature of the self—which is to say, the Creator.

The other-self which the positive entity seeks to serve is no more Creator than the self which seeks to offer the service. Thus, to care for and listen to the needs of the self is to do so for the Creator as well. Naturally, the positive entity wishes to turn that service outward, feeling a need for connection and communion, feeling a joy in relationship in group, understanding that life is relationship.

But again we would advise the careful and thorough and unending consideration of the relationship first with the self, or not first in a sequence at least to include that thread of thought in one’s relationships with other-selves as well, as this tending to the self also may help to reveal and, through work, heal those blockages which, if untended to, have a tendency to project outward toward those who one wishes to serve, further distorting relationship dynamics and impairing, potentially, the service which one wishes to offer.

We would explore for a moment in this aspect of self-care not only the nurturing side of self—we correct this instrument—but rather self-discovery as an act of self-care. Upon the road of service to others, one is of greater help the more that they come into an awareness of themselves, and the more their self-acceptance grows for themselves, for as you understand and have compassion for your own personality dynamics and uniqueness, the more that you find those places where self-judgment lives lurking in the corners within you. The more that you can heal those negative voices within yourself, the more that you can then consequently show up for others in that way.

Every hard-fought ounce of compassion that you gain for yourself you can amplify outward, welcoming others into that compassion. The more indeed that even without particular outward action or word you inhabit a field of compassion wherein those connecting into that field are invited into a greater space of non-judgmental embrace. This, a fruit of that disciplined work you have performed upon your mind and body and spirit.

Indeed, as we mention spirit, we would highlight as well that that channel or shuttle which opens the gateway to the receiving of, and contact with, intelligent infinity, depends upon this balanced awareness in mind and body free of blockages, to a degree necessary such that the energy is awakened in the manner of kundalini and flows upward, to support the strength of the spirit complex so that the service to others may be upon an even higher level; not to say above others, but in a way which pierces the illusion of self and others such that which is hidden is revealed—an exposure that is not of a negative happening, but of a healing in revealing the true self which was forgotten, buried, lost underneath the great wound of the self which has become separated and understood to be deficient and lacking and miserable.

Each in the center of their hearts yearns to return to that paradise lost, that ground substrate within the self that is free and unbound and of limitless joy, not as a euphoria which is chased, but as reality, as truth. It is waiting and available within each heart. It is calling and can be unlocked.

While there is the illusory journey of a long movement upon a road through space and time. It is not a destination at the end of a long road, per se, but is one’s true nature here and now, eternally, wherever one seems to be within the great illusory play of light and shadow and image and symbol that is the stage of the creation upon which you, as actors, play your part along with every other infinite aspect of the One—up and down the hierarchy of energy.

You do service to others by serving the self. We understand the complicated semantics that arise when using terms—we correct this instrument—by using the same terms that in different contexts have different meanings. When we say service to self we mean not the service to self associated with the negative path—whereby one is abridging the free will of others in order to acquire their power for the self because the self has intentionally blocked their lower energy centers, thus denying the fullness of their truth, their true nature, and the Creator, thus needing always others’ power to augment their own and to attempt to fill that bottomless hole— but, as we have described amply through members of this group, the service of honoring and cherishing the self, not through self-deception, for we would always encourage a stringent honesty with the self, but an honesty that is ever paired with compassion.

That compassion may require a sort of push at times and sort of hard-talking with the self: the facing of that which has been avoided. And at other times it may involve the tenderness of the mother to the infant, particularly in balance to the self which has treated the self harshly, and perhaps even brutally, in the inner monologue and in the ways that that closes down and makes the self small and devalued. And we would add that self-care is not strictly upon an individual basis, for when entities come together in shared mission in group work, there is also a larger self that is formed. And in caring for that larger self, as members of this circle seek to do in the support of one another, also one is continuing both of these threads of other-self service, and self-service, and the group self-service.

As always, whatever the particular focus of service, whatever category it falls into, there is the central energy of love for those upon the positive path and the gradual releasing of conditions upon that love until it grows and grows and becomes more crystallized and manifest and permanent within the beings, such that anything which enters one’s awareness—whatever the particular transitory or cultural or individual values about that thing’s place or meaning or purpose—is loved as not other than the One, not other than the self; where the heart becomes the largest container imaginable, so large that it encompasses all things, that nothing can transpire which is outside of the heart.

Though along the road to that crystallization [the heart] is ever vulnerable to momentary closures, the positive entity is aware of the beauty and necessity of the event as desirous, of simply loving others, loving them in their totality—their strengths and weaknesses, their limitations and their wonders, and falling in love with each entity, holding a curiosity for each entity, amazed that the Creator has shown up in this way, on this day; that the Creator can step Itself down, so to speak, can bend and prism light in just this way to create this unique being before you who has never been before and will never be again. And in that love, there is a wonder and a cherishing and an accepting of this being and of this self.

Imagine my friends receiving this acceptance from someone you love, knowing that whatever you do and whoever you are and however you show up, they love you and you are accepted in their eyes. Imagine the closed and maybe torn, maybe bruised petals of your flower opening, outstretching to receive and to be in the light of that love, and to reflect and radiate outward that love that is within you.

At this time, we take our leave of this instrument and we transfer our contact to the one known as Jim. We are those known to you as Q’uo.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo and am once again with this instrument.

We would like to extend our appreciation to each instrument in being able to channel various facets of replies to your most important query this evening. We are those who also consider such concepts of the self which we are, the self of the Creator, and how this self can manifest in so many ways, most especially within your third-density illusion, where there is little of what you call understanding, but much of what you call experience.

We are grateful for each instrument’s efforts this evening and we would at this time take our leave of this instrument and this group. We leave you all in the love and the light of the One Infinite Creator, for you are the light, the love, the Creator.

We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Adonai vasu borragus.

  1. Clarification: The English word “care” and the French word “cœur” do not share a common root or etymology. The former is descended from Proto-Germanic by way of Old English; the latter from Vulgar Latin by way of Old and then Middle French.