CAVEAT: Warning! These letters have not been edited by Carla. Expect errors.

I feel that what is experienced in meditation is [inaudible] but I can accept that, but I know that there must be some descriptive way of providing a technique.

Physiological technique for choosing that framework?


I can do that.

I try to read things about it and maybe I just haven’t read the right books. I read a lot of books, but maybe one paragraph that tells you something to do.

You see, when you meditate you have to realize that it is a physiological thing. It is happening to the animal as the physical vehicle that carries you around and basically all it is doing quieting the animal, and quieting the intellect, and then just allowing the spirit to soar. Of course, it doesn’t stay quiet usually. You get things that are interesting, images, and you might get a feeling of light or a feeling of bliss. You might feel absolutely nothing and feel it is a lousy meditation.

I can tell you how far I’ve gotten. On two occasions recently, I don’t know what happened during it, but afterwards I know I didn’t go to sleep and I felt real good, and not before it. I felt a pleasant balance. And I felt that was two good times of meditation.

Another time recently, I had a thought that was sort of a mathematical, metaphysical idea that must have kept being amplified for me because the more it happened, the more amplified the idea got. If I can describe it, the thoughts I was having—it was the thought of two circles touching each other, or two spirits touching each other. What is the size of the point of contact? Is there a point of contact? The more I thought about it (and I wasn’t consciously creating the thoughts about it), the thoughts were coming the other way.

How do you measure the point of contact? You could put a very thin piece of material between them and let them both leave a mark on the material, but as the material is not infinitely thin, they crush the material making a spot of finite size and on, and on, and on. Do they really touch and are we talking about molecules touching or the smooth surfaces touching? And can molecules even touch if they are the same molecules?

Do molecules have smooth surfaces?

Right, and it went on for the longest time and it seemed like it went on for a longer time than the physical time that I was there. I felt like that was probably approaching something that you approach in meditation, but I don’t know if I can go deeper, or if I am able to go deep enough, or if that is the way to talk about it so that is where I am at with it.

First of all, I will tell you my prejudices and biases because I would not want to influence you as to my personal opinion because what I’m going to do is teach you how to relax and get into the meditation, which is what you are asking me for. I feel that I have a responsibility to tell you that I don’t think it is necessary.

I think what is necessary is daily persistence, a continuing desire to know and be with God, an intensification of that desire until you have true passion, until it is food to you to be with God. You just have to do it, and if you have a bad meditation and you spend the whole time thinking about some doggone thing like what you are going to do for supper, you just have a bad meditation.

It is the intention of it, the dailiness of it, and your refusal to quit that brings results and not how well you meditate. As a matter of fact, I have seen people shaken and even torn apart by meditating for long periods of time, and as far as I am concerned, you truly cannot physiologically do this to your body. Like if you don’t spend maybe three days in silence and away from responsibilities, instead of the responsibility of camping out, or being at home, but not speaking. Being solitary each to himself and not speaking and coming together for communal things, very monklike.

But I really think that we Westerners are nuts, absolutely nuts, to think that with all of the stress we put on ourselves, that we can have good meditations in some magical way, but I will teach you a way to get silence and I will tell you of some quicker ways that help some people get silence.

I just want you to know that in my opinion, being faithful, remembering God in your remembrance, sitting in tabernacles with God, experiencing the Creator, however you experience the Creator is a valid. Like I said, sometimes it may be totally subliminal. You have to have faith that this is happening because you are sitting there and only because you want that to happen. Your conscious experience can be quite frugal and I have just observed, since I have been meditating since ‘62 and I have watched my life grow in a certain way, I think I have been extremely much influenced by my silent meditation because I am a lousy meditator. Even the best meditations I ever had, I couldn’t get rid of the music.

I was singing sacred song music since I was four. I started singing at two, but they wouldn’t let me in the choir until I was four because I didn’t learn to read notes. I couldn’t read the music. I learned to read when I was about three and a half.

Some hints for quick ways to calm down. One: If you are a visual person, this would probably work well for you. You visualize. Have you ever seen a picture of the anatomy of the lungs? You studied all that in school, right? You know basically that it is sort of like a cauliflower with messy little bronchi, and then little things that come off of those that are even smaller. It is like a bellows actually. Your rib cage gets larger as you breathe and your stomach comes out and anyway you need to picture that in your mind. Then picture the rest of your body as in shadow and then you just picture a blackness of nothingness. You picture the prana coming out of Infinity into your lungs, all white, just as white as can be as you are breathing in, inhaling.

As you breathe out, you picture in your mind all of the darkness from your body, in your emotions and spirit, leaving you with your breath, with your exhale and you breathe all of that darkness out. You breathe in the new fresh. You take three deep breathes doing this and physiologically what this does is calm your blood pressure down, and calm your brain waves down slowly and a lot of things change when you relax. Your respiration slows. Everything calms down. Physiologically that is the state that you need to get into, which is a simple physiological state. I am saying that you don’t have to get into this state in order for meditation to help.

That you intend to is the main thing. But at any rate, a visualization such as that calms and soothes you and makes you feel better and better, lighter and lighter, and finally you can let go of the visualization because you just feel completely free, and Infinitely filled with light. Then you are in the silence and you can meditate.

I know people like the method that the transcendental meditators use, which I think is a perfectly reasonable method of using a mantra. Generally I use the Lord’s Prayer. We always say it before we meditate. It tunes us in a really quick fashion because we have been conditioned to that sucker since we were infants. Before we talked, we heard those words. We were christened. I was christened at two months, I think. They christened you as soon as you could breathe in the Episcopal Church. I guess they want to get you into the Kingdom of Heaven quick.

Another way, and I’ll let you, Jim, have your turn too because I am sure you’ve got some tricks. Another way is when you have your eyelids closed, visualize the inside of the back of your eyelids. Actually a good deal is happening and you’ll begin to see it as if it were projected onto a screen. If you are of a certain type of personality, that works better with me than anything else because my brain bends in the middle at the drop of a hat. I see things all the time.

What do you try to see?

I don’t try. You just look at it. Look at the inside of your eyelids. You look at your closed eyelids.

I have a thing that I found that must be that. Even though my eyes are closed, I just shift the focus inward.

If you turn your eyes up into your head, an interesting thing happens on the alpha. It automatically goes up. It is something that the pressure on the brain or something or the pineal gland.

Even though I am not seeing anything, I see something different if I do that as if there is a whole shift.

What I am saying is, something physiological is occurring. Basically what you are doing is physiologically relaxing yourself and stimulating, rather than rolling up with the eyes, which is a good point, you can stimulate the center. It shifts up into that area in the forehead, which is supposedly the area of your consciousness and that is where you want the energy of the inner plain, which is why you cleared all of your lower energy centers and gotten into the heart. Then it is free to come up into full force into any of the higher chakras. That is why you want to do that.

Let’s see. Are there any other quick ways?

Well, there is sort of a mental mantra visualization that you can use, whatever has meaning to you. Ra suggested you could visualize a rose, or a circle, or a cross, or pyramid or something that would have meaning to you metaphysically.

A simple geometric shape?

Yes, they say the circle can be used as the encompassing ball of unity, oneness. A rose for some is mystical Christian symbolism that is helpful. The cross is the symbol of transformation. You might want to use the Buddha or whatever has meaning, or you might have a theme of a more of a feeling or emotional nature. It might be meditating on love, the concept of love, or compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, mercy, something like that. Or on wisdom, discrimination, etc.. There are different concepts that you can focus on.

And one that I learned a long time ago, it is sort of a way to focus on one point is to see. You look back again towards the eyebrow area, between the eyes and try to find the smallest point of light you can in the center of your inner field of vision. There are usually different shadings or hues or you see color. It is somewhere in there you will see some sort of light, and it seems that the more we reflect on that towards the center, the larger it becomes in your field of vision until it might lose its brightness and break down into its own field, which you will again try to penetrate and to find the center of the point of light in that field of vision. And let that continuing finding the light, having it expand and then looking for the brighter and brighter light in sort of an imaged way to use a mantra, rather than using words.

Mantra is an Indian word. It means prayer. In that case, it means a short phrase in the language of the Hindi (I guess it is Hindi, Hindu), that your teacher or guru/teacher gives you. He gives you this prayer to say and you say it over, and over, and over again until you fade into the silence.

It sounds like [inaudible].

Jim and I use the Lord’s Prayer.

For slightly longer methods: I’ll share with you the one that I use, not because I think that you would make up anything like it, but because it has the essential elements of moving into a higher consciousness. You are in a castle. There isn’t much light. There is a little strong flambeau—torches in the wall or something. Any way it is the Middle Ages, and you are walking towards the lower part of the castle and you walk into a place where there is a natural spring, only the spring is of heavenly light. You step into this light and you are completely cleansed and then you open your mouth and you are completely cleansed from within. When you feel this complete cleansing, you allow this light to clothe you in whatever you think would be pretty, or handsome or nice. I generally wear kind of a robe, only it is prettier, of course. I am vain.

Then when you do feel that you do really have a cleansing, a purification because we all come into this world imperfect. We are terrible people. We are all jerks, let’s face it. We have our bad moments. You just have to let go of that judgment of yourself.

Anyway I picture myself as being washed by the light and also there is a waterfall of it and I step under the waterfall. I am a literalist. And then I walk up the stairs into this wonderful turret kind of a room. I have put a very comfortable chair into it, but other than that, it is legit. It is all stone and it has these long thin windows and I just sit there, and I ask for the presence of the infinite Creator and await It. Sometimes all I see is what looks to me like the Irish countryside. Sometimes I see a mist, a fog. Sometimes I see a light that is very bright. It is so bright; in fact, that I’ve almost had to say it was dark. It is hard to express.

I have no more self. I just feel boneless. That is the beginning of my meditation. I hold this state for maybe two seconds.

So you play the same scenario again and again?

I do because I am a very ritualistic person. You have to be to go to the Episcopal church because all of the worship is pretty much to yourself and the balance of the ritual are words, and I do find that very comforting. I like ritual. Anyway, it moves you in your mind. You are climbing steps. You are going upwards and also from the teeny climb, you are getting energy. Then, of course, getting comfortable is part of my fantasy too and that is the beginning that I use as I go into the meditative period.

And I still can’t hold a meditation for very long sometimes. Jim and I don’t meditate that long—fifteen or twenty minutes and still, I will wander. But you have to have faith in the process.

The real long one is one I am going to have to send you on tape because it is such a C method. Light and light and it was kind of scary for me and I don’t want to have that happen again, so I’ll send the technique, which this is a technique for relaxing.

When you talk about being put out there, you don’t mean asleep?

He was in trance. You see, C is a natural. C already channels. He has a natural, rather pronounced ability to channel. He has a natural gift. And the only thing that holds him back is that he has a problem with going too deep to the point that where he starts to ask the questions, if you will notice, he is basically channeling. He puts himself totally into the process and it is real difficult to stay up there. When he asks the question, he is channeling. You listen to it some time. He talks in phrases just like the people that are channeling because that is the way he gets the questions. He is on the same level. C goes down easy and it is a wonderful skill if he ever wanted to develop it.

The trouble is that in trance I have colossal bad luck. I never understood how I got there. It took a lot out of me. And I wouldn’t dare teach it. I didn’t understand it to teach it to somebody else safely.

In fact, Jim and I were talking today of offering no more intensive teaching channeling per se. That we would offer the people around here channeling and we would offer weeks where I would channel in the evening and they go to work and they’d come to our morning offering in the morning and then in the afternoon, they’d gather and do some work as suggested in the channeling handbook.

But other than that, they would not learn how to channel. Because I just don’t think I can accept any more students unless they come every week. How can you learn really satisfactorily in a week? How can I do that? I thought that I could do that, but then I discovered that when you go through the process of clearing the lower energy centers, if a person really wants to do that, it might take years before you can even start. Because you want the person, if the person is serious about it, to have that work behind them to be stable.

The thing that influenced me most about meditation was something that you wrote in the book that was the Ra material about the importance of meditation and I don’t, I mean I read it and I couldn’t quote anything out of it, but it hit me in a way that nothing else that I ever read hit me. Here are people who are going through very extravagant realms of things and yet saying how important it is to meditate. That is when I started to become serious about it. I don’t know. Have to read it again. I don’t remember what you wrote. I just remember…

I recommend it to people. What I am trying to do is say that if you really want to get down to a certain level, it will take a long time probably. I will send you all a tape. Because what it basically does is take you down to a certain level of relaxing and then takes you on a journey. You are asked to choose your very, very favorite place in the whole world, or you can even make up a favorite place if you don’t have one. But your just very favorite place and then, in your mind, that is your place and that is where you go. Then you choose the place where you are going to do all your meditation, and all of your work, and …

This is a real physical place?

You make it up in your mind. It is a physical piece of land that is your favorite place and you build exactly the place that you want on it. And you visualize it in detail. You spend some time with it. You decide what you need. For instance, if you want to do healing work, prayer work, with your friends, people who are sick, things like that, obviously you are going to want to have maybe medical files, maybe medical books, law books, and reference books of any kind that you think are important. Anything that—you build everything in. The computer knowing everything. It is yours. You can make it up.

If you wanted to be a better musician, you would put music instruments in it?

Right. You give yourself time to practice while you are there. But that is another thing too, I’ll tell you in a minute. The main part of this place is you climb up some stairs to kind of a stage, and this is where you are going to actually do your work. You visualize for yourself the back of the room is like a big screen or a small theater, and you form for yourself just the console you want in front of you and then your nice comfortable chair the way you want it. And it has all of the controls that you need on it—the screen in front of you.

You have three guides, but you only need two more chairs because the guide on your right is a female guide. The guide on your left is the male guide and you can take these as guides, real presences, which on one level I think they are. You can take them as part of yourself, which is apparently on one level they are. You can take them as the Creator, which on one level they seem to be: extra terrestrial types serving the Creator.

The third presence is, shall we say, androgynous and it consists of white light. It surrounds all of you when you get settled, but you will probably want to meet your male guide or angel or your female guide or angel, or UFO contact or whatever, and ask the name, if you want a name. Welcome the person and hug each other and exchange Love and affirm each other, exhort each other to good works and then sit down.

If what you want to do is meditate, you ask the screen to just start radiating white light at you and you just go into meditation with your friends, your guides, and you have this white light, this beautiful highest guide, this highest angel, Holy Spirit, your higher self. “Guidance,” people call it. I get so tired of the things people call it.

Why did you put the female on the right and the male on the left?

It is just the way it is taught in this particular visualization. It is so that you can do something specific, exact. So you can have a detailed visualization so that these people become real to you. They are real anyway. You are not making them up. All you are doing is allowing yourself to see them for the first time. You’ll probably go through a process with these. The presences you might not need anything but the white light. I found the screen helped me for a while. Now I don’t need it.

What I am saying is that this is a real good visualization to get you into a good meditation. It will do it physiologically. Anyway this visualization of the screen means that during meditation, you are able to visualize something specific—a screen radiating white light towards you. You are able to look at something. Your mind is busy and it really does help in the meditation.

Westerners have to face the fact that it is physiologically impossible for mind to stop working in as short a period as we ask it to. We are going to fail unless we give it our full time effort. We are too active. The pace of our lives is stressful. The expectations of most of the people around us are completely over emphasized. It is a very stressful time to be alive and I think the West in general is more stressful than the East. Once you get used to the rules in the East, it is very peaceful to live in because you know the rules. Here we just, we don’t bow to Allah five times a day. We don’t think about God but once a week even if we are devout usually, which is just pitiful.

That is why meditation is so important.

I listen to people in the street when they talk and there is no day when I don’t hear someone saying, “We are getting busier, and busier, and busier, which seems to be the goal to get so busy that you don’t have any time left to think.

I just think it is an escape, maybe because you can be so busy that you don’t have time to think about the real facts of life.

It seems that people are becoming, and I hate to generalize, but anything that, our culture is more and more tuned to the surface of things, and more and more tuned to the new.

With enough back and forth, you can never despair, which means I am watching the fifties all over again. Hey, I’m looking for the nineties. I am telling you, we are going to have some flower children in 2,000. We really are. We are going to have some craziness in 2002. Absolute craziness. There are Christians all over the world that think that this will be it. There are New Agers all over the world that think the New Age will begin at the end of 1999. Right? From the Egyptian pyramid.

Mayan calendar is 2011 or 12.

That is a little more esoteric. Then there are other dates too that I’ve seen like in “The Earthquake Generation.”

1996 is the date.

It is all a little bit off, but it is the same general country.

We have already passed some of those dates.

I am looking for something to happen. Things are changing. It is obvious that the world is building up to an intolerable stress itself.


That is the meditation. That is what I will have to send you. I thought I would tell you ahead of time what I was going to ask you to work on visualizing and decided on so that by the time you get the tape, you’ll be able to use it to actually to have a meditation, but that will show what a meditation feels like, and that will also bring you out of the meditation.

You will do that for yourself after you have heard the tape three or four times, you can do it at will. Actually, I only heard it once.

What it is, is a rip-off of the Silva Mind Control technique, the good part. They have a lot of negative parts to their teaching. A fellow named Jose Silva thought up a process of inner discipline of the mind called “Silva Mind Control” and because of the fact that it was all about control, there were some negative aspects to the teaching. Part of it was control for plenty, control for influence, control for power, control for success, and I really thought that was pretty negative, but I was lucky. So did the teacher who taught what he had learned of value from the Silva Mind Control to be, and it took him I think ten classes to get all the way through it. We spent a whole two-hour class visualizing our place. We wandered the place. We touched every tree. This does take a little time.

But once you have the visualization in place, and it is fun to go to sleep in, just thinking about having a new house, a place to sleep, a place to eat, a place to do your work. It just needs to be a big plan.

If visualization isn’t your thing, I am sure just hanging yourself in space with the stars about you, if you have a feeling for space.

You see what I am saying is that the physiological state of alpha is what people in meditation try to reach.

In other words, this is smoothing that is externally measurable, for instance.

Yes, so it is not actually part of the metaphysical process. It is desired. It is turned to in meditation. When I go to church on Sundays and I come up mighty meditative, I am really into the music and I am really into sermon and really worshipping. I am usually into confession and into the Eucharist. I will admit that you just can’t be spiritual all of the time. It is not the human condition, no matter what. I think some people have achieved it, but it at the cost of every aspect of their personality and that means not just three days to achieve a real physiological body meditation, but you can’t do that most of the time.

We just don’t have the means, we don’t have the opportunity, and we don’t have the calling. It takes a special calling to want to spend a life in spirituality so I think we need to realize that the process of meditation is based in the physical. And we have to have faith that no matter how well or how poorly we do it, as long as we do it on a daily basis, or close to it, spend some time with our guides every single day and hopefully have a little place of our own. It could be your place or it could be your bed. It would still be okay. It should be the same place every day that you would be able to meditate.

You are talking about the creative place?

The place where you go to have this experience.

This place you set aside?

Yes. So the place you go to in C’s case might well be where you want to walk for it will get you away so that nobody could get at you. They wouldn’t know what you were doing or where you were. That could be very important because family is an antithesis to meditation and we simply cannot be meditative in the middle of a bunch of needs that have to be met instantly. You can’t even talk on the phone so people like you all with the kids and everything really do need the protection of physically getting away to your own environment where you have a little bit more control over what is going to happen to you. What is going to impinge on you internally?

We might even try a walking meditation. You might try this while you are walking; if you can’t really handle or find a place where you could sit in meditation outdoors. I have always been able to find a place to meditate indoors.

It is the century [inaudible].

When you talk about going there, are we talking about physically walking there?


Every day, a place where you can go to sit, where you can meditate. You need a place where you can do it regularly and hopefully the place that you always use is quiet and away from other people.

You would be surprised how changed the place is when you do it every day. Can you tell where we meditate every day? There are cracks beginning to appear in the ceiling. Don always swore that the energy was great enough to cause cracks in the ceiling and I told him it was just because we always lived in old places. He said, “No, no, it is the meditation energy.”

One of our problems is that I am trying to find a specific thing to do and I think you have answered one thing for me is that it is important to get a specific routine together that is basically the same every time. I hadn’t gotten that yet because I do it different. I am experimenting so I do it different at different times. It seems like the best meditations that I have had, which seem to mean something, are when I am sitting upright like this. It seems to do real well, but there is another thing that I tried.

Sometimes I try this on the weekend or when I wake up on Saturday morning or something. My wife goes out to exercise class and the kids are far enough away in the house that it is pretty silent and I am lying on my bed. The sun is already up. It is light and it is real bright in our bedroom in the morning and I am lying on my back under the covers and looking up with my eyes closed. I am able to sort of make my whole body go away and it actually becomes numb.

I don’t know where I am going with it and I don’t know if that is the right thing to do, but I am able to do that. I don’t know if that is a good thing to do or not.

Let me tell you what, in my opinion, it is. Of course, I could be wrong. In my opinion, what you are doing is you are in the state between sleep and being awake. Your body, at that point, is merely tied to your spiritual body; let’s call it, your electrical body by what the occultists call the “silver cord.” Normally, so much is happening to you in the physical when you are awake that you stay right with your body. Now in trauma, sometimes people do leave their body so that they are unconscious, but not usually. Usually people stay with their bodies.

When you are asleep, it is not at all uncommon for the spiritual or electrical body or whatever of the individual to go out of the physical body, either for instruction or usually for work of one kind of another that we have been committed to do on that planet as part of this particular experience. This capacity we have when we are awake, but we don’t usually use it. Mediums use it. But we can get out of the body at the hip and [inaudible] point and what happens to people physiologically is that they will start experiencing a loud noise and a kind of vibration if they take it far enough. Their body is trying to leave their physical body. It is a little bit out of sync and that is caused by the fear of the experience.

If you move through that fear, I understand, you come into another realm of consciousness, which is out-of-the-body and that body experience is with your consciousness in it. Robert Monroe has two books on the subject. He is a good researcher and he is the one you want to start with and that will pretty much tell you about that experience.

I distrust the experience so far because of my experiences with trance.

This is sort of a trance state?

The physical body is certainly asleep.

But you know it. That is the experience I get. I know that I am out there, but I cannot tell myself that and I cannot move it. Things become where you keep getting this stuff. I cannot open my eyes. I cannot move my finger.

Yes, you are trying to get out of your body and you are out enough that you can’t work your body, but you can’t get back in. The way that you get out of this is to use your will. Simply use your will. Image that your eyelid is opening and keep on trying, or image that you are going scream and keep on trying.

I have experienced that. I do the same thing that you talk about. At times I have fallen back into my body. I went to the extent one time where I couldn’t move. I was actually where I was, but there were others around watching me. I finally said, I closed my eyes and made myself breathe slowly and I finally got back in. My question to myself is, why am I desiring this?

That is my question about the whole experience. And Monroe probably makes the best case for it of anybody. He links it. I would leave it to him to tell you about it. You can judge for yourself.

I was doing that long before I knew what meditation really was. I was really doing it for the experience.

That is what I am saying. You can look down on your body, can’t you?

I have only had it happen to me once in my life and it was spontaneous because whenever it started to happen, I resisted it and got my eyes back open, or moved a finger or screamed. And one of those screams from a nightmare is so funny. You can’t get the sound out. Since the whole endeavor is questionable, the ability is moot.

To me, when I think of a meditation in sitting, I don’t know what the difference is, but those times seem to be more profitable if that means anything than these other times.

See the meditation is not going to have an end result and is not an end in itself. You are looking at a process that is for the most part going to be tiresome, but pleasant. Not wonderful. Sometimes wonderful, but usually tiresome or pleasant. And the results are going to happen over a period of months or years. The results are also going to be a system of natural laws that become clear to you. Spiritual principles that move over a lot of your life and gradually cause changes in your programming that make a difference in what you were.

Unless a couple does this together, it can tear a couple right apart and I will be real glad when D comes back. I hope she does sometime. She changes so often she is bound to come back some time. I love her. I just know how she is. I totally accept her, but that is D, but she’ll come around again. She has a genuine love of this stuff and she’ll come around again, I am sure. And I will be glad when she does because then both you and she will be experiencing the accelerated process of the spiritual change together.

I am in the midst of this problem you are describing right now very much.

It hurts and what you have to remember is that you are the odd one, not your mate. Your mate is a fine, earth normal person whose time has not yet come for this material and you can’t push a person into paradise. You just have to love them.

I know I have put her through a lot of grief and I refused to accept sometimes that I have put her through a lot of grief and I know I have. My change that I’ve made to help with that is to not ever push my ideas on anyone.

That is wonderful because that follows the spiritual principle of free will.

You see you know so well about what you really need to do now in this situation with this particular source of information, because it is not just a bottom line religion of your God. It gives you an ethic. There are tools and resources on how to live a daily life and I really appreciate that about this system of philosophy. I guess it is best expressed by Ra, but Jim has been trying to convince me because I was a little down last week. I was thinking, “Am I worth the upkeep because the Ra material is over and I will probably never channel anything that good again. I was wondering, well, in the world am I doing anything?”

Jim said, “Yes, I think the material that is being channeled now is good in its own way.”

A lot of things were sacrificed to put us in this situation. We lost one of our group and I am pretty sure that it was related to the process of channeling through the process of psychic greeting.

What do you mean by that?

When people work with spiritual energy, even as you might work, meditating every day makes enough of a light to be known because not enough people are serious enough about it to keep on doing it after the first three days. You attract the loyal opposition. It knows it is the light. Its job is to douse the fires. You know the thousand points of light—well you are one of them. And I think it is literally true the sense of mass physical light prime that we do create when we move into by intention, or in a room of prayer, and offer meditation, listening to the Creator, spending time with the Creator, paying attention to the Creator, not putting our thoughts out, but waiting, and listening, and being with the Creator.

There is a certain light put out and it is seen by those upon the negative side. The first thing that they will do is they will offer you temptation. The first temptation for most people is physiological since the physiological state is not consonant with the state you achieve mentally. In other words, your blood pressure isn’t really down; your heart isn’t really down. The physiological state of alpha has not really been achieved. Your body wants to get up and move around. So it is uncomfortable and it starts throwing up the quickest, highest part of your subconscious and that in visual form is the monsters of your various beings or angels, the things that cause you to do the good things that you do and the things that cause you to do the bad things you do.

They are pictures. Some people see monsters, some people get sick to their stomach, and some people get headaches. It depends on whether a person is visual, whether a person acts out in his body as to what happens to a person. But usually there will be some problems and, of course, every time I meditate for me it has always been the music. I can’t get rid of the music.


About six months of meditation and you go to the light, if you don’t quit.

You go through that, in their words.

You go through that. Then your next temptation, it might be to make a questionable, ethical decision not to report things that were definitely containments for something like, it is okay not to report gifts, but if you receive the money in some way, you should report it. We know that it is unfair, but the law is the law. So that kind of ethical consideration is a nice temptation.

You are saying that things might happen completely outside of the meditative state?

That will tempt you to stop doing that and you will be very tempted to stop doing that. You simply have to persevere, realizing that from time-to-time you will be tempted.

I am facing one right now.

I think the reason why Sundays are uncomfortable in the family. I go to the church in the morning. And the kids noticed it and they told me, maybe you should try once not to go to church to see the difference.

I don’t think there is anything you can do. I think you are living with a person that is disturbed right now. I think what you need to do is do what feeds you and do the best to be the best person you can and treat him as well as you can and wit for him to get out of this phase and into a more productive mode.

I need to be frank with you. I don’t see a lot of interesting possibilities for the USA after the road race. I studied and followed road racing for about four years because my first husband was fascinated with road racing and I really thought it was one of the most useless and foolish ways of risking death I have ever seen. Very expensive and I just feel that the kind of energy that he has, if the Africans were behind it and he was just representing them to be American, he would be firm ground.

But to try to have to sell something like this to both sides, it seems to me a project

That has an unnecessary conclusion of failure and I don’t need any time to figure that out. So in my foolishness, I privately and personally feel, that it is time for him to leave it, but right now he is real excited about it. You know, he could bring it off and be a great man.

I lived with a great man who was absolutely lost and I didn’t approve of the things he did always. I will admit he made a good living, but I just tried to help him. The only thing is, I really hope that your man does manage to get a job because somebody needs to make money in the family. I am not real into making money as long as he is working hard. I like idealists. I like praising people.

Yes, I was married to the Sunday. The other days are okay, but Sundays, as soon as I come back from church, it is always the same scenario that M is mad at someone or something.

Sunday is a day that is out of schedule for a lot of people.

And it is so awful that I wonder if it is not over. If it is not temptation for me because I quit church for the same reason. Every Sunday was such a nightmare that I quit church and it was getting better, but I went back. And since I went back, I think maybe it has nothing to do with M. That M is just the instrument, which is fighting me of the emotion I had, which is …

It is not M, and it is not the devil or Satan. It is an obsession M has about needing people around him that will be supportive towards him in some way and people whom he really loves. And the way he shows his love is to tell you exactly how to be perfect since you are so nearly perfect anyway. He doesn’t express the fact that he thinks you are almost perfect. He only points out your imperfections and that is very frustrating.

I lived with a fighter like this for many years. Called him up on the phone today and he is going into the hospital tomorrow for an operation, after which he will be very groggy and unable to defend himself against crazy nurses, which abound in this part of creation. I offered to sit with him. He told me I talk too much. I take a book and read. I know about hospitals. If you just are going to stay more than five minutes, you take a book and read. You just can’t make a sick person be a hostess or host, but he said, “Your mother is more silent than you. She doesn’t talk nearly as much. She is much more adaptable.” And that was his way of thanking me for calling him in concern.

You see, I lived with that for years and years, but what I heard since I spent a lot of time living with him, 45 years, is, “I am liking your mother more and more. I used to prefer your company, but I think now, I really trust her enough that I want to be with her all of the time.” This is wonderful.

I went through a pouting period while I realized that my father is really dumping on me. And it is a shame. It hurts, but then I realized that there was really a hidden message. M is just barking at you because he loves you. I don’t know if he will change, but I know that if he backs off of his USA African deal and gets a job and learns how to relax a little bit more, he’ll ease up.

But he is not looking for a job. I don’t think he trusts himself to find a job. He looks for taking jobs taking pictures.

This isn’t the part of the country for that. Chicago would be the place to go.

I think he feels he can’t find jobs here, but he will never fit. I don’t know. I cannot put words in his mouth, but since I tell him every day, I want to leave, I don’t want to stay here. the more I say that, the more he wants to stay here.

Join the Bunko Club and the Baptist Ladies Social and make him total the bill. He’ll leave. Do offensives local things.

The thing is to convince him in the process that I have to stay here. I am just good enough for here. I am not good enough to do the things in Washington.

This is nonsense. Absolute nonsense.

The choices are so limited.

Yes, can he cut tobacco? He has really been trained for that.

He convinces me because since when I said something just the opposite, just to be able to survive it, I let him convince me.

I have fiber in my character that you wouldn’t believe. I have always argued back to my father and I discovered in my teenage years that it was a form of debate and that there were two ways to handle him. One, which I only understood two years ago, which I simply used. I talked back to him. I used logic. I used calmness. I used my circuitry of thinking and I retained his respect at all times because I just thought and talked to him in a certain way and wouldn’t take it from him.

It cost me several dinners, which I threw up. And many sleepless nights, realizing that there was going to have to be a confrontation, but I was free of him before I left his house. He no longer felt to me as though he were attacking me. He felt to me as though he were engaging me in a debate. And if I thought that he was taking a cheap shot, I told him so and walked away from him and sort of learned to protect myself from him. Unfortunately, I think I did gain the bad habit of sort of swatting away people who bother me. I have a nasty tongue. I can say something that is sort of subliminally. I can sometimes say things that infer all kinds of … I just swat people if they bother me.

Why don’t you finish the part you were talking about on the second reading. And see if there are any questions before we get into channeling.

Go ahead and finish because I am talking too long. Jim talks more quietly and he knows quickly the same material I do.

You were talking about temptations and you had a line of thought going there that I thought was good. Did you have anything else you wanted to add to it?

If you don’t work with these temptations, the other way by the way is simply to be a good Christian. I have watched my sister-in-law handle my father like no one else in the family has ever been able to do because when he says something rallying or insulting in a teasing way, but insulting to her, she will simply look back at him and decline an answer and ignore him and go on in a sweet way with whatever was happening before. Because it is truly beneath her notice. She is too polite to say so. It is very Christian and it totally works. It just absolutely disarms him. He can’t go any further.

Those two ways are ways of handling the behavior, but the way to truly handle the behavior, I think, is to realize that you are okay by yourself and that you have your choices completely open to you to leave him or you can stay. You are a survivor. But that is just part of the temptations that occur.

You have gone, I think, half the point in the mental temptation. Your temptations are now more heavy like, “Do I want to break my marriage contract?” You have to reckon with who you are and what you think is right and live your life that way. Or I think you do a lot of violence to your deepest self. You need to feel, at least as much you need to think. That is where the meditation comes in. That is where the bridge between feeling and God is. You have passed both of these as part of your true mind, the feeling and God. They are both informative. It is simply that feeling, faith, etc., have not been given credence for several centuries.

In the eighteenth century, the rational mind began to reassert its dominance in an intellectual way over the Age of Faith that had produced the Renaissance, which was a very balanced time when a faith was the subject used by artists and poets, musicians, etc. The things that were important to man spiritually included just about everything that man could do physically. It was a really beautiful age where we are now in an age, which is completely without faith, puts no value on it. It takes no objective reference. Love has no objective reference. Truth has no objective reference.

We are of the earth, but not in it. After these temptations have been offered to you, if you are not able to avoid these temptations, then you start doing something that will move you away from a meditative spot. That is fine. But if you succeed in this temptation, you may be given a more difficult one. The cue to you is that you are being tempted to stop your meditations. It is as simple as that.

What is happening to me right now is that I am in a business that I have developed through a lot of hard work over a five-year period and in just the last couple of years it began to be something that I didn’t have to worry about every micro-second and this year has been kind of tough. I lost a key employee at a bad time and there has sort of been a struggle that way, but now in recent times it is like the business just flows in. It is more than you can deal with.

How do you make it?

I don’t make anything. I am in the computer business. We do programming; we do training, all of this kind of stuff. Now I am wondering about hiring more programmers and all of this kind of stuff because the business is there. The thought came to me, maybe it was today or maybe it was a couple of days ago, how did I ever get onto this metaphysical stuff? How did this intrude into my life? Why am I spending my time with it? Wouldn’t I just enjoy getting into the nature of doing this work and seeing everything happen real efficiently, make a lot of money etc. And that has got to be a temptation because that was saying, as my wife has said many times, “Quit bothering with this stuff. Quit putting all of this unnecessary stuff into your life.” That was a temptation to me.

I can see that. I have seen it in many cases.

The word I got tonight. I can see that. In other words, you have got plenty in this business to occupy your time in a way that feels creative, because I have to feel creative, and it is not just doing the same old thing every day. You can go out there, and you can pick and choose among the interesting projects that are offered to you and choose to do the interesting projects. If you want to, you can do the ones that aren’t interesting and hire some more people and let them do it, and make a lot of money, and I really don’t want to do that. I hope I have learned enough from the two years of whatever that has been internally or introspectively

to realize that comes and goes. That seems like a temptation and I hadn’t thought of it as such except for tonight.

Now you see, part of the large picture, “For thine is the kingdom,” and remember Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world.” And at another time, “Store not up treasures on earth, where moth and [inaudible] do corrupt, but store up your treasures in heaven.” I think that what you are saying is you have enough. You have provided for your family adequately, but you can knock that one off your list. You don’t have to have more acquisition. You need more of the time to center yourself.

To me, if I make music, it is worth more than making money. I have a hard time with anybody understanding that, but I understand it.

This is a century, I think, is going to come to the end in about one hundred years. It has got to. Maybe two hundred years of people being driven by the compulsion to succeed and do better, and do more, and have more and never wondering why.

It is like success is the success. It is like being in the process is what the process is all about and a lot of people live that way and I do understand how they live, but at some point they have almost got to turn around and look over their shoulder and say, “Here I am in the flow of the process and there it is right behind me. I have not left anything along behind.”

We say this about meditation. It is helpful whenever you do it. You can’t do this, but it is most helpful if you are able to do it a lot of times. It is just to let it be a part of your day, if you have to get up at 3:30 a.m. to meditate for fifteen or twenty minutes by yourself and nobody else in the household is into it. It is worth your time. You will feel that worth. You will feel more centered. You will think about things from the larger point of view. You’ll be able to kind of check back into that consciousness if you need it, and we all need it, and then you will be successful all of the time. But you will have a resource that you didn’t have before and that is that you have recently spent time with the Creator. You may not know it in your conscious mind. You may have had a bad meditation, but you have been there. You just haven’t hooked in enough with your feeling to know it.

Allow the process to take a long, long time and then look back at your life and see if it has got more honest, more clarified, simpler, easier to make decisions about, and you will began to see yourself centering down into a life that is a lot more fun to live where you don’t have to agonize so much about big decisions. You basically know what the right thing is to do and the rest is learning how to have a ball doing it because that is a very important part of the spiritual path. And I think meditation helps in all of this process.

With that, we have about five minutes before we go into meditation. Why don’t you all ask questions and think about the questions that come out of all of this even if you want to just ask the same question.

Whoever channels focus around the concept of meditation, which is what we have been talking about unless somebody has a specific way of wanting to ask the question.

To me just information about it is good. Can I give you a piece of music to play? Something that is prearranged. I brought it from home and found it on the dashboard of my car and listened to it on my way here and I noticed that it might be nice for our meditation.

[Music plays.]