CAVEAT: Warning! These letters have not been edited by Carla. Expect errors.

Dear M,

I am lazing on my bed because I have an afternoon off here. There was a very pretty church conference Saturday in Canuga and I just woke up. I just spent three and half days here working on dimensions of commitment as part of my Christian walk. It is a fascinating and excellent thing for me to do. On the other hand, I think it is really funny that when I have some time off, I am off on another commitment, which is to what I would call “uncharged Christians.” This I believe is descriptive of most New Age people who were at one time brought up in the culture of Jesus, and who became unable to enjoy church because they couldn’t believe in everything literally, or because they were judged or were given a bad time.

So much for commitment. Commitment to me is a lot more than the obvious things that one does for Christ. The work I do for New Age people is the reason, but without any intentions of proselytizing or evangelizing unless it be by the simple accident that something that I say strikes such a cord that the Christian model and myth become possible to consider again. If that happens, then that person will let me know and ask for more.

Thank you for the hydrogen peroxide stuff. I will talk to my druggist about it. I never shun on trying something out and you certainly gave me a lot of different sources of information that recommend it and, of course, the extra oxygen atom functions, I suppose, as a negative ion.

You were asking me some questions. “The Jehovah Witnesses during both spiritual crises in my life, they figured heartily in helping me.”

If you are somewhat alone at all, which I can see as that being your self-perception, I can understand how somebody like a Jehovah Witness would be the one to comfort you in a time of distress because you would not be calling your girlfriends and saying, “help,” because maybe you would be too far away; you wouldn’t want to bother them; or something like that, but Jehovah Witnesses reach out. That is the one thing that you cannot blame them for doing. They have their story and are willing to tell their stories and they really are committed. They do hit people that really need some attention. They give it to them and they give them much more than whatever they are trying to teach them. They are giving them love, unconditional love.

Love doesn’t usually go away on their finding out that you are not going to be a Jehovah Witness. They care about you anyway. They are nice people.

My complaints about Jehovah Witnesses are not in what is good about Jehovah Witnesses, which is their wonderful community, and they have very high ideals. My criticism of them is that children who come up in a Jehovah Witness environment are not allowed to make many choices at all during the time that they are in a Jehovah Witness house unless it would be by sheer rebellion. I mean movies, cards, simple things like that.

Everything is wrong. It is known and people can tell you why. It is structured and this is what appeals to people who want to have what they are calling at this conference, “easy grace.” That is, if you follow the rules, you are going to get it easy.

That isn’t what happens. What happens is it costs you to follow a spiritual path. The times when you are the loneliest may also be the times when you are doing the most effective spiritual work and polarizing towards service-to-others. My guess would be that Jehovah Witnesses would not be for you because they do really require you to believe an unusual amount of facts, figures, rather a soft feel like, common sense and all of that. It is not a mystical, mysterious religion. It is a religion in which they think they know. I do think that is dangerous.

In the wars of our planet, people have usually fought for what they knew was right. It is a bad attitude. It is much better to be very cautious of your judgment. I am a peacemaker, if you may notice.

“The experience you had with the white light.”

You must truly have been praying with all of your heart. I have seen that light. As a matter of fact, that light is so incredible, it is difficult to describe it. You did fine. But bright doesn’t do it for me. It was a little more than that. It was alive. But it was sort alive with love. I am really glad that you had that experience.

Yes, I can see that you are open-minded, not so much gullible as just ready to listen, especially since the people that are talking to you are helping you at this point and aren’t demanding that you believe as they do.

I would never try to convince somebody that my way was better than theirs because it may not be, only different.

“They have a tendency to feel that theirs is superior to others.”

Yes, I think any group that talks about an elite, and we are talking to Judeo Christians, all of the sects and certainly the Indians, not American Indian but Indian religion, is very class conscious. There are the elite; there are the elect; and this poisonous idea that there is some mysterious way that some of us are more noble, more worthy than others, comes down through the centuries prompted perhaps mostly by man’s vanity and his desire to feel that he is better than someone else. We can go through life looking for somebody else to be better than, a belief to feel smug about that it is better than somebody else’s belief.

It doesn’t seem to me that it is very interesting to go through life relative to other people. I guess I am not as tainted as some to feel superior to others. I don’t know why because I am bright enough and sometimes I am so much quicker than other people. I have the right to say things like, “I am smarter than you” and things like that. I guess it is because I suffer from low self-esteem anyway and always have. I was brought up with parents who were never, ever satisfied with whatever I did, like if I got two B’s in school. Never satisfied and I had a functional alcoholic mother for a long part of my time when I was cook and housekeeper for quite a few years into my teens, and babysitter.

I graduated into adulthood with a keen sense of my limitations with feet of clay because there was no denying that no matter how well I did in keeping the house all together, it was quite obvious to me that I was not at all perfect in keeping my feelings about the situation coming directly from the heart.

In other words, I simply think I did the things around the house because I wanted to, and I wanted to do it for the love of God. I was thinking mean thoughts about my mother and feeling that I should get paid. Maybe that is why I am so prone to avoid that elitism and why I can see so clearly that it is negative. I am fairly immune to it because I never felt superior to anybody as a child and at the same time, we were so different from anybody else. I just know how poisonous it is to be excluded for one reason or another. There isn’t any decent reason that human beings should give considering any other human beings anything but equals because we all are children of God.

That elitism is a poison that starts to burn down into a judgment and it takes out a lot of New Agers and puts them into the New Age without choosing Christ. To me, this is the sad part that many of the churches, Protestant and Catholic, and Jehovah Witnesses included, run their churches as though they were depositories of what was light. As if they could prove everything.

Nothing can be proven, not down to the last detail because everything that happens has some element in it that nobody understands like: Why is the speed of light the speed of light? Or how does electricity work?

Everything in our illusion is specifically and exactly an illusion. The only thing that is real in all of this universe of electro-magnetic fields of energy is consciousness. The consciousness is not that other thoughts have weight or mass, but I think that the light body has a mass of about two ounces because it seems that three ounces go when he or she leaves this life. I imagine that is the cutting of the silver cord and the light body going on, but the consciousness that it contains, I don’t believe, has anything to do with this illusion. So here we are, all of us in this illusion, an absolute democracy of my physical soul is to gather, and that we can act in so many fateful and exclusive ways to each other is a pity.

You continue to talk about Jehovah Witnesses.

I would try to be kind to them and let them feel superior to other people. That would be my tendency because I guess it is patronization. Maybe I wouldn’t be telling the honest truth and maybe I should be more confrontational with people. But it seems to me that if they are working a path, and it is working for them, and they are thinking about God (I am talking about sheer time here, sheer service, how much of your life are you ready to give up and change), you cannot fault the Jehovah Witnesses. They work very hard and they are in that sect because it tells them exactly what to think.

Some people like the Armed Forces for much the same reason. You have your orders. You always have your orders, even when you are off duty, there are certain things that you are supposed to do when you are off duty.

It is like—it is the great variety of human nature. Some people cannot abide conforming, or being like or knowing everybody is in one sort of great machine mind, call it Army or something. Other people find it a very, very satisfying life. That means women as well as men because they are never going to lose their job.

But I would leave them their tendency to feel superior and I would not chide them, or if I did chide them because it is something they said to me and it hurt, and it was time for me to be assertive and defend myself, I think I would be gentle if possible in saying that I had been hurt.

You say, “I find their life style terribly holy.”

I think that is what I am trying to say to you is that here are these people who have made a tremendous commitment because they need a solution. They need a dependable solution to the world’s questions, which are mostly, “Who am I? Who is God? What is my relationship with God and what happens after I get off this rock?”

They do worship the Creator, which means, of course, that they have an extremely effective way of approaching a life in faith. The problems are with needing a life you may not recall to live because the life you have described in this letter is very much monklike. TV, books, movies, etc. I gather they can find appropriate. Other than that, it does seem to be a very strict discipline to life and I agree with you, I think most people don’t want to do that really, but I tell you, a lot of people get hooked into Jehovah Witnesses and feel awfully guilty about it.

That is what I am for, you see. Because that person is injured. Has been tossed drifting into the New Age as the only thing left since supposedly Christ has failed her, and Christ has not failed her. The Jehovah Witnesses’ interpretation of Christ/teachings has failed her. She is an unchurched Christian. I think there should be a church called “unchurched Christians” or mystical Christians where you don’t take anything literally, but you work on the story of Jesus Christ. The story of the perils of his ministry, his passion, his death, his resurrection, his ascension and his coming again into your life daily as ways of thinking about who you are; what God is; what your relationship is to God. What happens when you get off this rock?

The questions that face the Jehovah Witness are the same questions that face John Doe, are the same questions that face Harry Hinkleman, are the same questions that face Demetrius Kosakovich. All around the world, any place you want to name, any culture, people have the same question and the answers to them are mysterious because the answer is a mystery itself. The answer is Love.

“Are you feeling better?”

No. I am not. I don’t think it is real funny. It is just sometimes light. Right now I am struggling a little bit. I am not ready to stop me as you can see. My back continues to hurt and continues to shoot pain into my head. Jim came down to North Carolina just so he could help me go to the conference, which I am utterly grateful for.

Mentally I am feeling better because I got on some medication that I felt that I was hanging out there too far with my tail in the breeze. I felt pretty crazy and I was just having an unworthiness attack. It was just because of another thing that I couldn’t do and because of that, Jim was having to do something else for me. It hit me critical mass that I didn’t want anybody to have to do anything for me. I wanted to do something for people. I spend my life saying, “Thank you,” while people do everything for me. Basically my hands are utterly useless. The most I can do is press down the play on this tape recorder and half the time they screw up there because I have an anomalistic feeling about the type recorder.

Anyway I have moved to giving myself a nap every day, which for a lady 46 years old is absolutely shameful, but I have been told to do that or even take two naps a day for the last decade because of the intensity of the juvenile arthritis and the degree of stress that it has caused me. It is very tiring. It is tiring to deal with it—the constant discomfort. I am not feeling better, but I have absolutely no doubt that this too shall pass. I just don’t know when.

One time it took three years; another time it took nine weeks. I have got probably somewhere—it may be three years this time because this is the fourth time I have injured my back in the same place.

As to having a tape that was halfway somebody else’s, I probably was using an old tape to write to you, but that you got the last of the conversation to somebody else.

L isn’t at all like you. L is absolutely sure of herself in so many different ways. I just have to laugh at L, all the time. She is a real go-getter; a real stirrer-upper; a very dynamic principle and isn’t a bit afraid to be a catalyst in other people’s lives. She tickles me to death and I love her energy. I can’t imagine where she gets it all. If I was talking to L about moving to Atlanta, that was definitely not meant for you. Talking to L is like saying, “L, I think maybe … Maybe your friend’s husband … Maybe your friend might appreciate it if you weren’t sleeping with him.” She does everything for the best reason in the world, though. She is just a gypsy.

Then you add, “Yahweh returned as Jesus. Where did you hear that?”

Yahweh did not return to Jesus. Yahweh returned as an energy, which would herd Isaiah the prophet to use “Emanuel.” In other words, he is coming. That is what Emanuel means: he is coming. And they did that by changing the JHVH, which is Yahweh or Jehovah. They added an “s” and became a positive principle once again to try to patch up the damage that they had done as to “wah.”

Now where did I get this? I don’t know. Either from the Ra material or from some channeling that I have done. It has that feeling of being one of those things that made such complete sense to me when I heard it, but it is probably the Ra material, which is a very clear book in that when something hits home, it hits home with a lot of clarity and depth. It is just my opinion.

[Inaudible. Carla reading M’s letter.]

Actually, it is very easy to understand the nature of the sacrifice Jesus chose to make, planned with God and managed to carry out in this illusion, which I think is a heavy task. It is because he is a nice Jewish boy.

In the Jewish religion, there was a whole tribe, one of the twelve tribes, which was a tribe of priests. They were the sons of Levi. There were other priestly tribes that are mentioned because it is in Jesus’ family history somewhere.

A priestly job was to butcher the animals, not to bind them on the altar, not to eat them. They got meal offerings; they got peace offerings, which were birds and stuff, and they got all kinds of animals. They got a lot of food. This basically is talking money to the church. I guess you can say that the church has always had its hand out for money. The concept of payment for sin was worse in the Jewish community at that time so you contributed a certain amount to cover a certain sin. It was cheap grace. You were able to buy your way to heaven basically.

Judaism is a very ethical religion and basically when you listen to some of the Judaic arguments back and forth over the centuries, you find yourself thinking that God is sitting in a courtroom or in a debating chamber, a political, logical puzzle because it is all rather tangled up in logic.

Jesus had to express that to the Jewish people once and for all because he was God’s creature, because he had given himself completely to the channel of the Father in him. He was enough sacrifice for everybody. The priests weren’t going to get rich. There were not going to be any sacrifices necessary. People would get together, and break bread, and drink wine in the remembrance of Him is all he suggested.

I don’t care what the Presbyterians or the Jehovah Witnesses say, that is all the man suggested. He didn’t really have a lot of what I would call organizational rules. So the problems of the churches are basically manmade. Jesus did not make the church. Man has made the church and I believe that if the church would finally turn once again to the living Christ within and pray, they would know God’s wishes and have the strength to carry them out when they are recognized. I think this would be an entirely different country, an entirely different planet.

I do think that Jesus’ myth is the most wonderful story to tell to make someone feel the holiness of the actuality of his condition; feel the indwelling of light; to feel the indwelling of the living Christ; feel the spirit within. I cannot think of a more rich tapestry and condition to move from than the one our culture gives to us than that of Jesus the Christ.

It is the insistence on literal interpretations of various points that put people in boxes that are too small philosophically for them to grow. Therefore, the church stops growing, and merely defends itself and a bunch of younger people are having a New Age.

“Will there be animals in fourth density earth?”

Sure, why not. There are animals in third density.

[Inaudible. Carla reading M’s letter.]

“Maybe all my searching is just my way of trying to find the faith or feel it as others so intensely do. Is it something that just comes or do you have to search for it?”

Faith is a gift like playing the piano incredibly well. There are few people who are naturals and who can do it because they were born to do it. There is no secret to that. You can’t get there. Forget that part. Faith is hard work. One of the things that we were talking about this week here at Canuga ever since Sunday has been what it costs a person to be living a life of faith. What does it cost him?

For the Christians who are attending this conference, it costs money, time, lifetime commitment, a lot of responsibility. There are things that we have all taken on ourselves in our parishes, and in our provinces and the national organization, which is the church, and I am one of the little fish here. I am just a parish parochial. There are people here from all over for the national church too and they are here to tell us how you can follow the cross, and they are telling us that it is going to cost us everything we have.

Something, I didn’t know already, but faith is costly. Grace is costly. There is nothing cheap about a real faith because faith is that which abides with no evidence to support it. Faith is that experience of leaping into thin air with nothing below you, above you, or around you to hold you, but knowing in that space is the dearest thing in the world. When you leap into that, you find that it only looks like thin air. You find that it holds you and so you simply trust, simply trust and forget fear.

Faith does not have to have content, except as I have said before, perhaps faith in the kindliness of the Creator. Faith in the nature of the Creator of Love. I think that is pretty much a given. You have to have faith that this all does mean something, not in the way of the illusion, but in a deep way, in an imperishable way. But you don’t have to have belief in this creed or believe in that fact. What you need is an attitude and this attitude means that when something faces you, you think about it. Ask who you are spiritually. And you respond, drawing on spiritual principles that you grasp.

If your response has been not what was expected, and often a Christian or spiritual response is not what is expected, you can really run out of communication room fast and just have to shrug your head and say, “Gee, I’m sorry. I can’t help you.”

Faith is looking at Don Elkins’ suicide and saying, which I did right then and there, “I know that something happened that caused him to die an honorable death and I don’t understand it.” That is faith.

What do I believe in to have that faith? Nothing but Love. It is an indescribable essence of the self. It is a feeling you have in physical orgasms. It is feeling you have of pleasure when you learn something that is really fascinating. It is emotionally, spiritually—it is that bursting forth of calmness, consciousness and quietness because you are faithful and you will abide. Whatever happens will happen, but you will be you, and you and God together will take care of the situation.

It is really important, I think, in a life of faith of any kind to have a good communication going, have an inner conversation with a good prayer going with whoever is the communicator in your myth of meeting in mind and it can be Jesus Christ. I talk to Jesus a lot. I get mad at Jesus. I say, “Now you promised you would be here for me and I am not feeling good at all.” I am serious about this. There is something down home and personal about faith. It requires of you that you live your life from the inside out, from eternity into the present so that you live with God while functioning in the world.

It doesn’t matter which view of God. It is the faith, not the viewpoint that creates love, the ability to channel, the ability to heal, all of those wonderful things simply because faith is an allowing of loving. An allowing that consciousness of loving, consciousness of a loving environment, a loving Creator, regardless of any illusion for that is the illusion. We are talking about reality. That we rest in a ground being that is Love.

It is simply depending on the God within and feeling that you are not alone and that all of the people in the world are allied to you in a most primitive and unifying way. We are all one. That is the faith of which I speak, and it is not a faith that I have found to be engendered by believing that Christ rose from the dead; that the sacrifice was then turned into glory, and that is why I have this wonderful joyful effect.

No. I don’t know if that happened or not. I am using it as a myth, but I’m a doubter. I see no reason not to be a doubter. There is no proof. But I don’t worship with my mind. I put my mind off on some shelf and reserve it for things like Bible baseball and Sunday school discussions where I can make points that are cute, technical, profound, show-off. Truly, I hate theology. I very much dislike the use of the intellectual mind and I very much trust the deeper consciousnesses of our intuitive and sub-conscious selves.

The faith that I speak of is costly. It is the result of jumping into that thin air and experiencing all of the terror of Jonah in the whale, or any of the other images from the Bible, which you basically have to take with a leap into faith. Sometimes the journey gets very hard, very hard, and because you have a life in faith, you can’t simply collapse and say, “I have a very hard life.”

You simply have to say, “I have a very challenging life. There is a reason for it. I am able to have fun with this. There are choices for me to make here, which have to do with love and service-to-others, and loving myself, loving the Creator. There are those lessons? How do I work on them?”

Faith is living from the inside out. Faith is being God’s presence in the world. Seeking is bringing your presence, human presence in search of the Creator. Faith is allowing the Creator within to speak or simply abiding in the Love of the Creator that is at the core of your being.

There is no proof that there is a Christ-self or a Creator-self or a God-self, an imperishable-self. No sure proof that anyone can give you that will satisfy anyone except you for faith. There cannot be because we must, within this illusion, make choices to be those people who give love, or those people who absorb other people’s love.

The person that gives love may find themselves receiving a lot of love too. That is okay. That is just bread cast on the waters. You recognize a manipulator when you run into one because the person wants you to do this and wants you to do that and it boils down to his power that you do these things because he says so, so you can really tell.

I am afraid I cannot instill in you faith. All I can encourage you to do is feel less frantic and settle down within yourself, and love yourself enough to realize that in the very heart and core of your being is the light and the Love; that is all that there is: the reality, consciousnesses, imperishable loving consciousness, and we simply study the mind of Christ if we are Christians, or whatever anybody else wants to do. Any other path is okay with me in order to learn how better to be and to serve while in this illusion. Simply think about the mind of Christ. What would He do? That sort of thing. I find that very helpful.

That is the end of your questions and I can’t think of anything really fascinating. We are going to have a channeling intensive this year, but it will be a totally different kind. I’ve decided not to teach anyone else to channel who does not live within striking distance of me to travel once a week because it is so frustrating to the people who come for a week, and really do learn the basic skills, but they need to practice, practice, practice. It is one of those things like chop sticks. Even a gifted person simply cannot go too far too fast.

A normal grunt, such as you or I, is going to have to face that there is a lot of practice in doing any kind of justice to the thoughts that this particular class of entities that I choose to channel is sending out.

So instead we decided that what we would do is we would get the intensity done; we would get the teaching done; and everybody would hear lots of channeling, but we wouldn’t teach anybody to channel. What we would be doing would be preparing people the way we prepare people to learn to channel, which is to work on the lower energy centers: the red, orange and yellow energy centers, which are basically the way you feel about yourself, the way you feel about other people, the way you feel about groups, and how well you are doing with them.

Most people’s problems of both sexes are in orange ray where their relationship problems are, although I find in the case of most women that they also have, to some extent, red ray blockage since they are not taught to claim their passion. They feel basically guilty if they are out of control in passion because one is taught that it is the woman who is responsible in a sexual situation, etc. So women are taught from the very beginning to say, “No” to protect their virginity so that they can get married and have kids properly, but they are not taught to change the no to a yes after they marry a man who is suppose to give them this nice marriage and children.

I do remember that one, especially in the context of couples where the husband has absolutely no idea of how to treat a lady and tends to slap her on the rump when he comes in the kitchen. That can be a real problem for a sensitive soul. But I think that we will work on questions also. I think Jim is also going to be working with hypnotic regression when he thinks it is necessary and working with dreams, just everything to try to identify and pull out the roots of those problems that are blocking energy in the lower energy centers.

You have to get a heart chakra that is full and over-flowing in order to begin to do any kind of work like healing, or channeling, or anything that is physical because work in consciousness takes a completely open heart center. Either that or you are going to start damaging yourself by living something that you do not believe, if you see what I mean. You have to be real about this thing.

But I think that the people will enjoy it and I think it would be intense because of the fact that groups of people who work hard to come together are always ready for a new type of experience. So that ought to be fun. I think that is the end of June or beginning of July and that is happening.

Transition Publishers, I think it was, wrote us and for the second time said that they were very interested. Jim sent the more of the channeling of the Holy Spirit. They had only received that one newsletter and they wrote that on the basis of that one, they couldn’t print our book so Jim sent them I don’t know, maybe fifty or sixty channeling and said, “This is more like a representation of what it is like.”

They wrote back and said, “Yeah, we want to publish it.” We have to find out how much it will cost us to get copies of books ourselves because the most expensive book that we sell is the book The Ra Material, which we allow Dawning to publish. They charge us exactly what they charge any other wholesaler. It doesn’t matter to them that we are the author. We have to pay full price for the book and it is often more than the person who is trying to figure out to pay for the book will say, “Huh,” which unfortunately is the truth.

And that will be the truth about the first printing of any book. Our printers gave us a cost of $10,000 for printing a thousand copies of that book. It is just $10 a book. There are the mailing charges and everything else. You just have to face the fact that costs have gone up. I don’t know if that book is going to be published or not and I really don’t have any connection to it. Luckily when you channel, you don’t feel that these things are your children. I don’t have any feeling of connectedness. I was privileged to be there when it happened and to lend myself to the effort, but the material is not mine. If you see what I mean. The material is that of L/L Research and it is a L/L Research problem and luckily, Jim has to work with most of that; figure out who is going to publish the Book of Days.

I think it would really be nice to have one pocket you could start the day out with every day and we certainly have plenty of them around the house. Jim has been taping my little morning channeling for years.

We go off on vacation ourselves in August. Both sets of brothers and sisters-in-law in my family, Jim is an only child, will be here some time this summer and my father who is in the middle of his last illness, will be left alone for two and half months while my mother goes off to dancing camp.

One has to have faith in a situation like that because one cannot do anything. I asked my father if he would like to come visit me for that two and half months and he said, “You are crazy.” He can’t breathe without the oxygen, but he is the only one in the house and if the oxygen machine goes down, he is going to call 911. No problem.

“Okay, pop, fine.” But that is the way things are. You do have to give people their free will, but I am at the place that things will happen as they will. I just have to. I just simply…that is the costly thing about faith. That you can’t choose a time when you don’t have any. You really have to say, “This is a time when I am out in a desert and am completely unaware that I at any time ever had any experience of union with the one Infinite Creator. I have no recollection. I have no memory. I must simply hold onto that experience that I had that was true for me and be faithful to that experiential God within.”

Just like when the light filled all around you when you were seeking. That was a subjective experience of Christ light and it is yours, and that is the kind of thing that you go back to. The space of mind that you have achieved before in prayer or in contemplation, and you verify that is the existence that you would wish to lead, that physical existence caught up in eternity, and then you simply try your best. Of course, we all fail terribly, but that is okay too. It was programmed in us to fail over and over again until we learn. It is part of the process of learning.

It just simply behooves us to pay attention is all, but faith precedes all of that as far as our source in living because it is with naked faith that one must face the final phase in life, the endings and the beginnings. It is scary to either have children or to watch someone die without knowing who is in charge, what the nature of the real creation is without having faith in the kindliness of God.

I think basically that instead of putting off all thinking about the hereafter until just before you enter it, faith is the enclosed constant intersection of the imperishable and the divine with time in one’s life so that one does not go through time to God, but one goes with God through time. So you are not only talking to God and learning from God, but God with you is living your life. You are spending time with God and moving from that center when you do something so that your intention always is service-to-others. This, I think, is a really blessed thought and a really blessed way of living and I simply call it living a life of faith.

Perhaps that is enough about that.

Abiding is simply abiding. Faith is blind. There is no proof. You will never have proof that anyone else can accept, but once you quit worrying about it, you will have constant proofs; you’ll find that you start recognizing. They are only your signs. They aren’t anybody else’s. Everybody has got something. For me, it is hawks.

You’ll have signs that tell you, you are on the track or that say watch out. You’ll get to know them. They will be subjective. That is the nature of the spiritual quest. Utterly subjective. It is a good impression in my mind as to whether we are not an utterly subjective people in that in fact, this illusion is truly one among many illusions, but there is no actual mass at all. The truth is simply that we are consciousness. This is a real hard one to buy, but perhaps that space and time will pass. But sometimes I honestly believe that.

I will send this off to you with lots of love and hope that you are doing better and continuing to learn from whomever you are talking to, including Jehovah Witnesses. They certainly are perfectly nice people. Like I said, just think the equivalent in religious terms of being in the Army where you are just told exactly what to do all of the time. And a lot of people like that structure. I wouldn’t take it away from them for anything and I don’t wish to cause any offense by suggesting that there are other paths because I accept that path too for other people on whom it works. It certainly wouldn’t work on me.

Cheerio, Love and light,