Dear B,

[Carla begins this letter speaking of her medical condition and resultant lifestyle changes as reported in other letters around this time.]

…and I am at the point of waiting and watching with great interest to see what further lessons this release of energy from doing various things will teach me. I feel as if vistas are opening before me and I’m not afraid of change. It’s possible I’m simply to learn more and more to be. This sometimes is the most help a person can be—not in the doing but in the being.

I don’t know—I am waiting, I don’t ever feel that I know for sure—I’m just here on loan (laughs)—I’m a parentheses in eternity, a whisper in the wind, and I’d be a fool to say I understood the mystery of life—either the life within this body or the life eternal.

So, my neck is painful and just about everything else on my body hurts, and I am joyful and happy and thrilled to be alive and very happy to be doing this work for L/L which does continue, though I do choose to be obscure. I’ve gotten a couple of well-known authors writing me to work with me or write about me in a mass-market type book and I always respond that I would prefer obscurity.

I hardly see how a person can be of service who has thrived in obscurity and a certain kind of reclusiveness from the world and certainly from fame or fortune. If suddenly renown fame and fortune is thrust upon her, she is no longer the same person. Perhaps what I have to say would be very interesting to a great many people, but I would stop being who I was and start being what the new circumstances caused me to be

Because of the fact that I do not feel that I have at all exhausted the possibilities of this environment and that this environment is the best for me—I feel that, I don’t think that—I remain unknown, hopefully. If I ever get to be known I hope it’s after I myself have gone, so that people cannot focus upon me as some guru that has all the answers. I am clay, just like the rest of us, I just have a better channel.

I did not know that Ra and my name and Don’s was in Billy Meyer’s book, but it’s a small community those who work with UFO entities so I’m really not surprised—it’s all right with me (laughs), the name isn’t copyrighted, and our books are right out there to see if they want to see what we have to say.

Now I have not read the Meyer books. I have read evaluations of Meyer by those I trust and I believe that something real is occurring, but I am not at all solid in my trusting of the positivity of the contacts. I refrain from judgment—I don’t think anybody can judge but there seems to be a positive channel that is receiving some negative information that is bent so as to appear positive enough to allow the channel to go ahead and speak it without triggering that channel’s alarms that something is wrong.

One of these is the condemnation of religion and The Ra material for instance, although it is a thoroughgoing cosmology, not at all a religion, it does place upon personal paths of belief and service, i.e., religions, or ways of expressing worship of some kind, a central and necessary place. It is from the choice made firmly here in this density, that the next many, many millions of years depends.

Ra calls religions distortions of the truth. I believe that to be a cosmologically sound way of saying, all religions distort the truth in some way, because they cannot explicate the mystery which is greater than any system of following that great mystery could possibly encompass or comprehend. Any religion will be some distortion.

This does not mean that Ra was against religions. As a matter of fact, Ra went to infinite pains to put me completely at my ease with my beloved bible open to my favorite gospel and my favorite chapter—he gave me the candle, the incense, the chalice, all those things that I found to be comforting as a Christian. He was ever guarding my distortion because it was my path of service, it worked for me. He never judged it, he simply said it was a distortion—and it was a distortion.

Religions are basically stories—they can be taken at the level of myth and be used quite effectively if the myth is chosen and chosen with all one’s heart. As if one has had an immediate and personal experience of the godhead in one or another of the accepted religious forms.

It’s important to see that the terms myth and personal religion are not self-contradictory or different. What harms personal faith and the paths of personal faith is not faith—that is absolutely essential. It’s dogma and doctrine that says this, this, this is true and everything else is not true.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not, but there are some people who really enjoy being in the armed forces. They know what to do, when to do it, what’s right, what’s wrong, when they’re off duty, what to wear, where their next meal is coming from, what to gripe about—they live a structured life and they’re comfortable. They don’t have to think about it.

You’ll find other people engaged in marriages in which one partner is extremely authoritarian, the other partner simply rests back in the comfort of that structure. And you’ll find religions in which there is a wealth of structure—this, this and this is true—believe it and you’ll be saved. Ha! Belief! You just find out what it is you’re supposed to believe, and what it is you’re supposed to approve of and do those things and you’ve got it by the tail. You have no more problems in life; you’re ready for death—you’re saved!

I don’t deny these paths to the Creator. I don’t deny people who need their structure. Any path that turns people into servants and makes them want to help each other even more than helping themselves, is a path that is going to polarize people towards service to others and its going to be able to turn them more and more into light, wonderful beings, and many are the inerrantist fundamentalist narrow-minded Christians who will be blessed and in paradise just as much as those that are seeking without the benefit of the structure.

The majority of people in our culture at this time do not want this structure. They live in a Christian culture (or whatever culture they live in, but here in America we definitely live in a Judeo-Christian culture) but they can’t swallow the doctrine and the dogma that this is absolutely true and that is absolutely bad, plain and simple. It doesn’t jibe with personal experience. So they become seekers. Prodigal sons and daughters wandering far from their source and wanting very much to know the truth of who they are, what their nature is, what their relationship is to their Creator, what their purpose is here, and where they are going.

To those people, channels of responsibility, channels who see their channeling as a ministry and a way of life to be undertaken in all seriousness—I don’t mean we aren’t merry and don’t have a lot of fun here at L/L, I mean simply that we dead serious about our care, and how we go about setting up channelings, how we go about preparing ourselves, how we go about living a daily life that is basically priestly. We are putting material out to those who basically cannot deal with the structure of doctrine.

The statement of Meyers that everything is emphatically wrong about religion is an overstatement. Doctrine and dogma tend to stifle thought and stifle personal growth. Most people actually cannot really buy it anyway, especially the young people, so it isn’t really a problem. Basically, the problem is living in a Christian culture, desperately wishing to feel faith, to live a life of faith and service, to worship the Creator with great intensity and passion, and not to have any tools or resources that give one a real handle on how to conduct a personal spiritual life, is the reason that vocal channels are here.

I think it’s been the reason for prophets all along. Always coming to get the people’s attention away from idols, away from this, this and this, and to turn one’s head to one God, one universe, one people, everyone being, in his/her own way, a priest, everyone being in their own way a potentially holy person.

So, the Ra Material definitely does not go along with Meyer or anyone else that refuses religion its place. Personal spiritual beliefs, or rather, paths of faith and service, are quite essential in Ra’s cosmology, because the choices we make here resound throughout the next few densities.

Now, unlike Meyer, Ra does not claim to be infallible, and does not intend to take what he has to say or what they have to say at face value or authority, but merely the best that they know. They themselves bow before the mystery and say so very clearly. They call themselves, not Commander Ra, or Lord Ra, not a great title, but humble messengers of the Law of One.

When you find humility, or refusing to be considered infallible, then you’ve found a channel that has some possibilities. When you hear someone declaiming and orating and prophesying and recommending and being specific and giving glory to themselves as contacts, and glory to their channels, you know right away that you’re not dealing with very positive channels. It’s fairly simple.

The statement that you were puzzled by: “That I did not believe that at the present time there are any extraterrestrials in our universe because of the vibration” was correct. I would be glad to clarify it further, although if you will read—I think it’s in Volume I, a clarification in one of the sessions, having to do with positive and negative entities, you will see that it isn’t that positive contacts are not being made, it is that the positive contacts are being made in thought-form.

This is indistinguishable to the human eye in this illusion, from reality; from something with nuts and bolts and tripod marks. The difference, as in the “Andresen Affair”, is the emotions invoked. In Betty’s case, the emotions invoked were wonderful, joyful, phoenix rising from the ashes. She felt great inspiration and she continued to express it. And I have heard of other positive contacts that have had that same effect of making the person start seeking and really getting on with a spiritual search for the truth. Or, to put it in another way, the pilgrims’ search for the Holy Grail, the mystery.

I am not at all interested in phenomena—it is the mystery to which the phenomena all point, that interests me. However, I do believe it is true that the actual physical space type UFO vehicles coming through at windows of opportunity are those that are negative and that what they leave behind is terror and fear, reluctant fascination, almost a slavish feeling, and these are signs of the negativity even as in Whitley Strieber’s case, the person itself that is being contact or abducted is very positive in nature and tries to make the best of it.

Usually what catches spiritually positive entities into a negative contact is overuse of the little gray cells—in my opinion—the intellect. In my opinion the intellect is dangerous and should be seen as a packhorse that you ride. We need it to stay alive—it filters out those things which are completely unimportant—if we took in everything our five senses tell us all the time we would be awash in a sea of sensation, which would make no sense.

We make millions of choices a second as to what to perceive. We stay away from fire, we avoid various dangers to our life, we should be thankful to this packhorse of an intellect, but we should not be ridden by it and so many people are. They are fascinated with thought processes, with logic, with induction and deduction, and intellectual ponderings and transient thoughts.

It’s a snare—it’s an illusion. To try to think of something whose hallmarks are paradox and mystery in intellectual matter, is quite simply to put oneself in an untenable intellectual position from which one removes oneself of necessity by rationalization. There’s no need to rationalize anything. It’s a mystery. And if we find paradoxes then we know we’ve found spiritual seeking. These are the hallmarks.

You asked about how long extra-terrestrials have been here? I would say a long time—thousands of years. There’s no need for me to go into it further than that—I know that you are extremely well-read and aware of the basic literature of many of the ancient contacts as well as the ones that are taking place now. And there’s no sense in my going over them with you.

I’m glad that my discussion about apples helps. It does tend to comfort people who have felt like misfits for so long to find that perhaps there is a reason which one can even consider benign.

It is also a challenge to realize that one may well be a little tougher than people that were born into this density and know only this density. Why did we come back here? If we weren’t tough enough to take a really rough lifetime and do with it with grace, with humor with faith and with the world to serve what we can, lots of times we just wait. That’s the hardest time.

When change comes, when loss seems to appear—these are the hard times, but they are also the most exciting times because it means that energy is being released for something new—some new direction of the path of service, some new lesson. So always be in the moment and let go of fear and expectation.

We’re held safely in the arms of the Creator—just as safely as everyone else. The secret is to remember that when the storm is raging so that you have a calm center. It’s the hardest work you’ll ever do and the most important.

On to your [inaudible] sessions—note number one, a couple of people there for a session may not be enough for you—I find that three universalizes the message for me satisfactorily. Two is not enough, but three is. But then I’ve been doing this since 1974. Perhaps you need four or five. Perhaps you should refuse to channel unless you have that many in the group because of your own standards. Experiment and see if asking for universality with three present will underscore for you the universality that the three does bring. I did the whole Ra contact with three people and that was pretty universal, I would say, so for me I found that three was fine. For you, it may not be—each of us is different.

I would caution you greatly against sitting in meditation if you have been rushed and have not taken the time to prepare.

What do I mean by preparation? I’ll be specific. The preparation that I make begins with a physical cleansing. I usually do not have the time, energy, ability, to get someone in with me to take a bath because I can’t give myself one. So I do it symbolically, and as I wash, I pray. I brush my teeth and pray that I may be cleansing from my mouth any words that are not of the Christ consciousness—that I wish to speak in the name of Jesus Christ. Now I’m a Christian so that’s the way I tune.

You must decide what principle you believe in so strongly that before you would deny it you would gladly die to this mortal life and enter the larger life. There must be that kind of passion to make you the most effective channel that you can be. You must find your own spiritual passion, your own foolish ideal, your own hologram. For me, the symbol is Jesus Christ. Jim challenges in service to others and Christ consciousness and it works for him.

I don’t know of too many other ways of tuning oneself that are not simply idiosyncratic, having to do with the personality of the person involved. I don’t pretend to be able to recommend one for you—that is something you must feel and place your complete faith in and place your metaphysical beingness on, so that in essence, this is who you are as a metaphysical being.

After I’ve finished brushing my teeth, I empty my bladder and whatever else needs emptying, praying that I may cleanse from myself all those human things, opinion, the basic junk, the waste material of a civilized life that the words that come through me may be pure and truthful and only from the one Creator. I then wash my hands very, very carefully, scrubbing my nails, praying all the while to be clean, to be cleansed, to be the best and highest instrument that I can be.

It is a seeking of my focus, a seeking of the intensification of the passion of my being to its highest degree, so that when I come in and hear the question that is going to be the subject of channeling for the night, I can simply rest back and continue my tuning process.

The next thing we do as a group is listen to some music—nobody likes to chant any more—I’ve given up trying to teach my group chants, so we just listen to music that seems to be very inspirational to me or to Jim or to both of us, and we say the Lord’s Prayer together and I ask people to envision a globe of bright white light that starts in the center of the room and gradually enfolds each of us.

Meanwhile, I, myself, am quickly checking my energies, color by color, to make sure they’re clear—that I’m getting energy clear through to the heart chakra and up into the throat chakra and into the indigo chakra. When I find that any of these are less than clear I simply ask that they be clear for the time of the working. When I’m satisfied with that—that usually takes only about ten seconds or so—I visualize the violet of the crown chakra which is more or less the temperature of our balance, and the red of the red ray chakra, and blending the two colors, I coat my body in imagination as if it were a capsule of the red-violet (cerise) color. This is the body’s protection of itself.

I then ask for the full armor of light and visualize the light covering me just as the red/violet covers me, so that I myself have strong protection. I then ask for visualization of that shared vision of the light around the whole group. I then asked for the protection of the archangels—again, I’m a Christian and that has meaning for me—I repeat their names and visualize them—before me Rafael, behind me Gabriel, on my right side Michael, on my left side Ariel.

I feel the protection of the group and of the room where I am working strengthen, coalesce and at that point I may get on with my personal tuning and may say whatever prayer comes to mind about being cleansed, being a channel for the Creator’s truth only, carrying the highest and best contact that I may (soundly?) carry, and I then repeat this prayer of St. Francis to myself and I then ask, “Who comes in the Name of Jesus Christ.”

Obviously, each person must challenge in whatever symbolizes for that person the holy grail, but the focus of passion of faith of the will to serve for that person—that’s who that person is, metaphysically. One has no metaphysical reality without knowing who one is.

You’ve never yet met a spirit who didn’t know who he was, or was having an identity crisis, it doesn’t happen.

The spirit world is completely democratic—we’re all equal—we’re all made of the same stuff: God and freewill. But we have to know who we are or we have no room to challenge, no room to choose our contact, no room to maneuver, and after we have accepted the contact—that’s the end of it. Our responsibility is over—our ability to control things is completely over unless we decide to stop channeling.

So you need to be satisfied that you’re in good shape no matter how long the group has to wait for you to get there (laughs) because otherwise, you’re not doing them or you any kind of service at all. Never tune or prepare hastily. Give it your best shot, and you’ll find that is very inspirational. You’ll find after while that you won’t want to have a session without being able to have that time of peace, even if it means that the group sits in silent meditation for ten minutes visualizing the group as one circle of light. That in and of itself is not bad as a preparation to hear channeling.

Now as to your responsibility in who comes to your sessions, you can ask that people be familiar with your work—you can ask that people have read your material, you can ask that people have talked to you beforehand. You can try to find some way to winnow out the curiosity seekers and the crazies. But you will never be able, if you continue to have open sessions, to have a whole lot of control over who shows up. This is not bad or good—it’s just the truth.

Now you don’t have any responsibility for this. What is is. Your being part of what is, their being part of what is, if you know a person is unstable, you certainly don’t want to put that person under the influence of such strong energies as those generated by spiritual contact. If you don’t know about it, there’s nothing you can do about it and it’s out of your hands and you simply have to trust that the contact is much more aware than you of the relative safety and usefulness of what that person can hear.

I have many times seen people go to sleep as soon as a channeling begins. They weren’t tired, they just weren’t ready to hear the contact. Try not to give in to sadness or embarrassment or any feeling whatsoever when people ask specific questions.

[Side one of tape ends.]

Remember, when people lionize you, they aren’t lionizing you, they are lionizing the contact. You are just a bozo. Know this in your own heart and you will be spared a great deal of tedious explanation as to the fact that you are just a bozo. Just smile and say “thank you” and just let it go. Some people have the need for a guru—they’ll get over it, if they spend any time with you whatsoever they’re going to discover the clay in your feet—at least they certainly discover mine—(laughs)—it stretches somewhere north of my ears.

Not to worry. Not to worry if you have specific questions that either get no answers at all or get general answers. I encourage you to finish the book or books of the Pisces material in the form that you think they should be published and then allow with minimum effort on your part, the rhythm of things, to get them published at the right time.

Releasing things like that is very helpful to getting them done. We had one experience with a publisher, that was the people that published “The Ra Material”—they changed the name from “The Law of One—Book One” to “The Ra Material”; they changed the author from Ra, a humble messenger of the Law of One, to Don Elkins, Carla Rueckert, and James Allen McCarty—they did not change the book, but they insisted on pictures, which actually was probably a fairly good idea to let people see who we were, it sort of grounded the book, I think, and they asked for an introduction which was probably also a good idea, although it took us about two years to get the thing in print because of all the things they kept asking for—one after the other.

I simply used the outline from “The Secrets of the UFO” and research material that had not been in “The Secrets of the UFO” but rather had happened since that book was published and expanded on the same categories of information.

So it did turn out to be a pretty good book, but the problem with this publisher was that it was very laggardly in keeping the book in stock and basically only had it in stock when we ordered from them. They were acting as a sort of vanity press and we were not able ever to get the price down below their wholesale price, so it has remained our most expensive book to resell, which is ironic.

We keep hoping they will miss a royalty payment or in some way go out of contract with us and on the day that they do so we will claim the copyright to that book and begin printing it ourselves again under its rightful name, its rightful author, and the form in which it was originally printed before they took it away from us.

So, I’m not all that crazy about publishers. I definitely advise against vanity presses, so-called—presses that promise to do pre-publication publicity and so forth. It’s a rip-off. Look for a small printer in your area—as around for prices—get a good publisher that charges a reasonable price—we use Palmer Publications in Amherst—I think it’s Wisconsin, it could be Michigan, I get the two mixed up.

Anyway Palmer Publications is an excellent small press and we’ve done business with them for years and they keep the prices down just as much as they possibly can, which helps us a lot because we give away a lot of free books—to prisoners, to old people, to high school students that don’t have the money, and since we depend completely on donations we’re really lucky just to be breaking even which is about what we’re doing now.

We used to, when the postal system was charging about one third of what it is charging now, to send the books, and paper cost about half of what it costs now for the republication of the books to keep them in print, to be able to do a new project once in a while, but for the last couple of years, forget it—it’s just been totally impossible in spite of the fact that we can do our own typesetting, our next projects was going to cost us four times the advanced subscription that our readers sent us, and we had set our goal, fairly realistically I think, at getting half of the book paid for by subscription before we ordered it and we would take the other half on faith that people would be sending money in once they knew for sure that it was being printed. But 25% wasn’t enough—we wanted to pay our bills so we simply have not been able to do anything but maintain the reprinting of the books that we have out and the Light Lines Newsletters.

And the cost of sending out one of those varies from about $400 to $800, depending on how long it’s been since we cleaned out our mailing list.

So, that’s my little feeling on publishing. You’re going to have to decide for yourself how public you want to be—how you can handle it—how much of yourself you might lose—some people can handle it pretty well, some people find that their work is slipping.

Watch yourself—like you said, take it one step at a time. You have had some stability in your life besides employment and relationship or you would not have been able to continue channeling high quality material, so I congratulate you on having an inner feeling of spiritual stability, but I do warn you that when you are in new relationships and your life is in transit, you must be particularly careful about the basic peacefulness and stability of your own soul so that you may continue to channel without overstraining your own abilities. Problems like that usually result in some blockages of energy in the lower energy centers. Hurt, disappointment, oh my God, what am I going to do, that kind of thing. The more peaceful and stable your life is the better chance you have of working to be a quality channel.

And, of course, at the same time, one must learn to let go. But the one thing you do not let go of is faith.

As to the silent question which you answered, I have found that to be a real trap—it’s not that they won’t answer the question—they can hear the question and give you the answer, that’s no problem. The problem is that it’s an ego trip. That it causes the person to ask himself, if the person is ecstatic about it, “Why was that person so ecstatic about it—it doesn’t look like that great a news to me.” Or “Look how great I am I answered a question telepathically received”—it depends on the personality of the channel as to what the reaction is, but I think in any event it constitutes a temptation. Just like specific questions and a desire to satisfy the very human desire for specific answers—it’s a temptation.

Simply refrain from accepting unspoken questions because really you’re producing material that later will be used in publications for the benefit of many. A mentally asked question with a vocalized answer, is of use only to the person who mentally asked. It makes no sense to anybody else.

It’s like Paul said, “I’d rather talk about my beliefs, inspire you guys for a little while, than speaking in tongues, because speaking in tongues satisfies me but it doesn’t do you a bit of good.” You do realize that’s not an exact quote. (Laughs)

As for the Vermont project, I wish you well with it. I find that one does not plan for these things as much as place them in the universe as a goal, and wait for them to manifest step after logical step, after logical step. If it doesn’t happen, that’s fine. If it does, that’s fine. The way it happens—it’s real important to let it happen naturally, not to push, not to shove.

Spiritual coincidence always plays a big part in high minded and idealistic goals, such as this one. This is a very pragmatic world—don’t let it get you down. Remember Don Quixote. He saw, what to the rest of the world was absolute illusion, but to him, the world that everybody else saw was illusion, and he saw issues of great moral right/wrong, beauty, faith, chivalry, ideals.

It’s important to be able to be considered foolish. It’s important to be able to move on faith alone. It’s important to be able to be hit over the head by the two by four and say, “Well, I’ve been hit by the two by four—I guess I’ll do this now,” (laughs) when you have absolutely no idea why.

Take it as it comes—don’t push it, don’t pull it, don’t probe it—keep putting it out to the universe this is something you’d like to do if it’s your path of service it will come to you.

I know a lot of people with great ambitions have started a lot of ambitious places like this and have seemingly done a great deal of good work, but I question the quality of the services they offer.

Flow, allow, and keep the faith and the will pure of expectation. Ask only to do the will of the Creator—you don’t know what it is until it is asked of you and then you say “Here I am Lord, send me.”

You said something at the very end of your letter about a sciatic nerve problem and I say back to you I have one too and have you ever tried a donut pillow? They’re great.

Glad your Rhode Island session went well. If you feel totally exhausted after these sessions, you are being vampirized by people who want to suck belief, faith, energy, vitality and passion out of you, and have you be their guru. Un-guru-ize things by stating clearly that you’re not a guru, that you’re just a channel. You don’t have to repeat it, you don’t have to be tiresome about it—simply establish that everyone has personal truths and when something is heard that resonates to that person that is that person’s spiritual truth. Everything else can be dropped and it is not up to any teacher as to what information is a student’s personal truth. You’re just laying it out there.

Okay, we wind down to the end here, B.

I’m glad you’re rethinking and pondering the ambitious public sessions. I think you’re absolutely correct in landing a job as being your first priority even though it is mundane, because, as I said, it is the peaceful and stable channel who has the luxury to do work in consciousness, as opposed to figuring out how to get the next meal, or how to pay the rent or how to fix the water pipes or whatever. It is good to have those things taken care of. It is especially a blessing to have friends whom one trusts at a very high level of trust, or to find a mate or what they so fondly call “significant others” with whom you have a very high degree of trust.

It is a very great blessing to have companions like that along the way, but remember that if all you have is yourself and the Creator, you have a wonderful companion—you are never alone and you can have ultimate trust in the spirit of that Creator that can be called down by you into yourself as a source of inspiration, consolation, refreshment, renewal, revitalization, and the word for today—the message that is needed for now. You are not dependant upon another soul—it is simply a wonderful luxury to have friends that you trust.

We’re lucky to have each other and I want you to take care of yourself my sister. Taking, as you said, one step at a time. Stay in contact and mindfulness of the one infinite Creator. Live in faith, that things are as they should be, and if you can’t figure out why the heck they are the way they are, live in faith, that your mind is open and vulnerable to the discomfort and glory and challenge of change and new paths, new ways to be of service. There are no mistakes—you are not alone. Carry on, old chap!

Thanks for your “notes from the road.” Things here are fairly blissful. As I said, my health problems are perfectly, ridiculously accentuated at the moment. I am in a state of basic uncaring about them, because I accept them and appreciate them. They are teaching me many things. I am in a state of strong change at this point. What the lessons are—what the energy that has been released by my dropping so many things that I was doing, I have yet partially to discover and I look forward to it. Yes, it has been uncomfortable but I am very excited about it and I feel the challenge and I feel like a racehorse saying “I’m ready, anytime, send me.”

I hope you have a very joyful spring. May your work and your dear self be blessed.

Lots of Love,