The question this evening has to do with the means by which those who are in mated relationships might use the mated relationship to further, not only the relationship, but also the metaphysical or spiritual growth that each wishes to accomplish within the incarnation.

(Carla channeling)

I am Q’uo. Greetings to each of you. [Inaudible] of the one infinite Creator. [Inaudible] bask in the beauty of each unique [inaudible] unique spirit within this dwelling place. The beauty and the [inaudible] within this heavy [illusion] is very moving to us.

We would like to remind each that we are but those brothers and sisters on the path that you are following. Our [inaudible] are perhaps a bit dustier, our experience is perhaps richer and fuller, but we are not infallible, we are not authorities, we speak our opinions and some of our opinions may not be those truths which may personally pertain to you in the conditioning that your [inaudible] at this time. Therefore we ask you to beware of relying upon our authority, or any authority. But rather, when you hear truth that is your personal truth, you will feel as though you are remembering it rather than learning it for the first time. And you will resonate as an instrument does, a harp when touched by the wind, and you shall be inspirited and in your inspiration lies the removal of the fate of this planet. So listen in faith, but accept only those things that seem so to you as being helpful and allow the rest to pass away from your memory as not being part of your personal truth at this time. For there are many, many levels of learning upon this path of seeking and each entity moves at a different pace and in a different creation. In a creation as unique as that person is. Which brings us to the subject which was requested this evening.

Each entity of the mated relationship is a unique being. There will always be an “I” and a “thou.” One may gaze at this as a centrifugal force, a dynamic which swings each within the union away from the center of that union into those specialized environments which are made for the path of service that each has chosen. No two entities have the same path of service. No two entities can do everything together and if they were to do everything together they would be far more poorer than their relationship because of their slavishness to behavior. A mated relationship is not strengthened at the level of behavior, but, rather, is nourished by deeper and more dynamic forces from within.

Thus, the first thing that will aid the mated relationship is the constant respect of the free will of the other self. That other self may do things which are not understandable to the self. It is not necessary that each understand the other. For yours are not the lessons of reason, yours are the lessons of love. And so you attempt, in freeing each other, to move outwards from the center of the relationship, to encourage that self to be that self, to nourish and enrich that self, knowing that the self is accepted unconditionally as it is, with no desire for any change or variation. In this way, the mirror one holds up to the other becomes clear and still and accurate.

Because each is unique, there is sometimes a frightening realization that honest disagreements of a fairly deep nature exist. In the atmosphere of honest disagreement, there needs to be a realization of that which is beyond the surface, intellectual and emotional thinking. That awareness is a centripetal force that brings the couple back to the center to become “one.” This becoming one does not diminish either self, but is rather a different entity which you may call “us.” [Each us] is an unique blend of perspectives, biases and viewpoints, just as each are unique in self. This us-self is the beginning of what has been called a social memory complex. Total acceptance of another, without the need to understand, creates an atmosphere in which understanding becomes possible. Intellectually, one can only be hagridden 1 by attempts to understand and rationalize the behavior of another.

To attempt to live as a couple, moving from the mind and not from the heart, is to imprison both in the very narrow room of logic [pause] and sacred or cherished belief systems. We urge each in a mated relationship to remember that the most precious thing they possess is invisible and is an entity that is created by both selves, working together in service to the one Creator.

Thus, there is the self, the other self, and the Creator. That is the “us,” for which you may strive with all good health and faith.

The degree of purity and honesty between two entities is the key to clarity within mated relationships. To allow one misunderstanding is to set the plumb line and lay the first brick in a wall that can never be broken down completely. When the occasion occurs wherein the mated pair feels that there is an antagonistic relationship, both entities need to step back and gaze at that stumbling block. Are two mated entities adversaries if they pull the same cart, carry the same hopes, and strain with every fiber of their being toward the passion of mystery? Certainly not! So when there is antagonism, objectify, acknowledge and accept this momentary antagonism. Discuss it, dissolve it, forgive it, and move on. Do not allow the first brick to be laid in a wall of separation.

This is an enormous challenge. We put you to it, for you have asked us how you may best use the mated relationship. It is hard work. We may mention also that the “us” of each in the relationship is enhanced greatly by that great enhancer of the unique individual. That is, meditation on a daily basis.

Meditation together is possible. Quiet times, reading times, inspiration times. It could be only five minutes long, it could be only ten minutes. If it be just a few seconds with the meeting of the eyes, in the understanding that each is on the other side, that each is in there pitching for the other and is never over against the other, then have you won through to a level of trust that will enable each to mirror to the other that which the self is actually manifesting in an objective sense. For subjectively it is entirely probable that the self shall be the own—we correct this instrument—shall be its own best stumbling block, fooling itself with rationalizations about the self.

In a mated relationship, each is the teacher to the other. In the complete and utter equality of children of the one infinite Creator, each is equally equipped to serve as a mirror to the other self. Each is perfectly equipped by that within, that we may call the Creator-self, for each of you is a mixture of the Creator and free will. When two entities come together, they come together willfully, their wills are variant, and the road is bumpy indeed, nor does it ever smooth out entirely, for there is no end to the lessons one may learn, no end to the refinement of those lessons.

Thus, do not fool yourselves if you feel you are smarter, more intuitive, an older soul, or in anyway elite or other than completely equal as a metaphysical being to the mate. This mutual respect and recognition offers to each the potential for great works in faith.

Before we close we would wish to address the subject of the paths of service that each has. Each has certain environments, peculiar to that person alone and not shared by the other. These environments begin quite subjectively within the mind and the heart of the individual. Two entities may stay in the same room gazing at the same scenery through an entire incarnation and learn completely different lessons. But more than that, each entity shall move out into the world, hoping to aid it, to serve it, to be one with that which makes things better, more unified, more peaceful, more beautiful, more of a gift to the infinite Creator. The path of service that is most often overlooked is the path of service called parenthood. There is no more difficult path of service. It is an extremely sacrificial, daily and devotional path of service.

Those who realize that they are dealing with imperishable spirits, that they are nourishing metaphysical entities in small physical bodies, may aid those entities as they grow by paying attention to those questions that are asked and answering them in all seriousness when the question is a serious one. It is a path of service that shall either separate a mated couple or bring it forcefully together, joyfully together, so that each [offers] the other consolation as they gaze in constant bewilderment at the chaos which is inherent in the process of rapid growth, the rapid growth of each child. You may best be of service to that entity by being a steady influence. For instance, if there is no formal worship within the family group, no sense of wonder or mystery explored, no time set aside for the beauty and the love and the peace of the infinite One, then the guidance that each intends to give to the young ones who have been given into your care is greatly [diminished]. Allow and expect your little ones to participate in some ritualistic recognition of the great mystery of the one infinite Creator. Talk about faith and abiding, talk of peace and consolation and forgiveness. Talk of those principles and ideas which are worn so shabbily and made so ragged by consensus reality, which is indeed an extremely skewed and distorted perception of that which truly is.

Do not abandon your little ones in your path of service. If they are entrusted to you, it is up to you to allow them to know the joy and the healing peace of worship of the infinite. Nothing is known, nothing can be known, we offer to you no doctrine, no dogma, but simply posit a theory which we have found so far to be correct in practice and that is that each is a child of the one infinite Creator. Each is a being of love. Each has choices to make about how to use that love. For each is a powerful person, able to give and to receive.

Share with your little ones the awe and the wonder of summer nights, the smell of burning wood, and the sweet smiles on otherwise sour faces when your Christmas tides are opening up. Share in a little piece of each day and spend some ritualistic time in respective silence or in vocal praise, in whatever way the mated pair feels comfortable with the little ones, that as they grow they may know that they have been created, that they have been loved not only by the parents but by the universe itself. Then they are at home in the universe, for the universe loves them. This is the most precious gift that this particular path of service offers. The creation of the biases within the incarnational experience of the small ones, that they are accepted, forgiven and loved unconditionally by that great mystery which is love itself, the great moving force of creation, and indeed the Creator Itself.

We suggest to each that a very strong lesson in the armament of fighting through to togetherness and comfort together is the sense of humor. It is not well to take things too seriously. For situations constantly change and that which yesterday was a mountain, today is the mole hill. Attempt to remain within the present moment.

Let us make an analogy. Each of you is a aware of how animated cartoons are made. Each slide is drawn slightly differently, that a movement may seem to take place when those slides are run past the eye in rapid sequence. In reality, all of the incarnational experience is those slides of the present moment resting upon one another in one pile of presence. There is only the present moment. You are heaping up the present moment. The path is a dream within a dream. The future? The same. Your link with eternity? Truth, reality and love is the realization that now is a resonant and sanctified moment. We ask you to become intense in your appreciation of this present moment, of the beauty within you and all about you.

We are being told by this instrument that we must be short, so we shall at this time end this most pleasant conversation with you, hoping that we have said some few things that may be of help to each. For truly, two learn better together than one by themselves. For does one have a mirror to gaze into? No. The only true mirror you shall ever have is the mirror of your friends and especially that of your mate, who knows all your secrets and has seen all your imperfections, and who has forgiven them, accepted them, and now simply reflects that which is given. This is the heart of accelerating spiritual grown by using the mated relationship. Follow your paths of service as they diverge. Fling yourselves into your environments with joy. They will be different and you shall learn different lessons and so shall you teach each other. But above all treasure the “us” which is created in the mated bond and which includes, as a third partner, the Creator Itself, the great original Thought, which is love, love impersonal and impassable.

May you share laughter and tears, And may you remember that such relationships and such learning are the work not of a week, nor a year or a decade, but of a lifetime. You may feel you are making no progress. But look back ten years and see the value of shared experience. Above all, refuse to become adversaries. Always attempt to put the self in the place of the other self. And to give that other self every consideration, as their freedom, every ounce of love within your being. Release and surrender your mate to the love of the one infinite Creator. And allow your mate to release you. For each of you is strong, independent and able. Your differences are the dynamics which make your “us”-ness strong. So do not fear disagreement. Simply recognize that there will be honest disagreement and that this is acceptable. May you live in faith, faith that that which is happening is that which is supposed to be happening. Faith that there is love in the moment, if one looks hard enough for it. Faith in the difficulties, that the difficulties is a challenge which shall bear fruit. And faith that recognizes and rejoices in those times which are easy and warm and loving. Remember always to give thanks and praise for such moments. For if you may give sufficient praise and include the Creator in these special moments, then you need not so much suffer disagreements. For you are doing your work of becoming more and more a strong union. While in good humor, the more you may do in a conscious work. While in a good humor, the less need you will have for the challenge and the learning inherent in trauma. Yet trauma there shall be, for as you meditate, as you learn together each shall change, not once but many times. And there is a continuous need for acceptance, forgiveness and for encouragement, one to the other.

We leave you in each other’s hands. May you cherish each other as if each were the Creator, for in truth that is what you are. You are just a very young creator with much to learn, as are we.

I am Q’uo, and we thank this instrument for its effort at this time with the one known as Jim McCarty. We would at this time leave this instrument in love and light and transfer to the one known as Jim.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and greet each in love and light through this instrument at this time. [Inaudible] to offer ourselves in the attempt to speak to any further queries [inaudible] may find value in the asking. Is there a query at this time?

[Long pause.]

I am Q’uo, and as it appears that we have, for the nonce, spoken to those concerns which each has for this evening, we would again extend our great gratitude to this circle of seeking for offering itself in service this evening by asking for our presence and enabling us to speak to your concerns. We rejoice at each opportunity to blend our vibrations with yours and would remind each that we are with you in your meditations upon your simple request that we join you there in order that we may aid your meditation by deepening your concentration. We do not speak at these times, nor vocalize in any manner, but simply lend our vibrations to yours, that your desire to know more of that which you call the truth might be enhanced.

At this time we shall take our leave of this group, leaving each, as always, in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.

  1. hagridden: to be afflicted by worries.