[overview] We all have questions about fear. Barbara has fear of responsibility she is not able to meet, fear of the unknown, and fear of going beyond her prior limits. Carla and J fear being unable to measure up to their own standards, ability and potential. K does not wish to rely on outer authority but fears she is not equal to the task of establishing her own inner authority. Would you please speak to these fears, or fear itself?
[new speaker] Aaron
I am Aaron. I think it would be useful for each of us to speak for some time, and then to relax from that rigidity a bit so that we can speak back and forth. This is almost a ritual form of communication. I do not wish to impose this on Q’uo. If that is acceptable to Q’uo it is acceptable to me. That is all.
[A pause while Aaron waits for any objection. There is none.]
I am Aaron. You are asking about fear, and I do prefer this idea of a dialogue to individual monologue. So, rather than trying to give you a half-hour, comprehensive view of the subject, I’m going to talk a bit about what seems to me to be your deepest issues, and then pass it on and let it return to me again. I feel we will learn more that way.
Each of you has different understandings about fear and questions that come from a different need, a different place, so that we start with a very basic question, “What is fear?” Not even, “How does it arise?” or, “Where does it come from?” but, “What is it?” Essentially it is an emotion that also touches on the physical and mental bodies, not just the emotional body; and finally it affects the spiritual body. So it is a feeling that totally enfolds you.
Fear is rather paralyzing to many of you. It distorts your way of seeing. It creates confusion and chaos within you. Because of the turbulence that it creates within you, it easily moves out of control. It is even harder than anger to step back from to get some perspective, because of the ways it paralyzes you. As with any emotion, it is not fear that is the problem but your reaction to it. Fear in itself is just a mind/body experience, but it does lead to all these reactions within the physical body and in the spiritual body as well.
I have left out the mental body in talking about reactions to fear, because fear does not provoke a reaction in the mental body so much as it grows out of both the emotional and mental bodies. The emotional body feels the fear. The mental body in a sense creates the fear, unless it is a purely physical fear in response to a physical stimulus, such as a fear of falling as you feel yourself falling.
The mental body originates the fear. It is then picked up by the emotional body. For example, when you are in a car about to crash, at that moment you are safe; but you move from that present moment to an image of what you perceive will happen in the future. You feel yourself skidding, and suddenly you envision yourself folded against that tree beside the road—an image which comes from the mental body—or you move back to the past, to your past experiences with a similar situation. Again, fear arises from the mental body; so the mind creates that situation where fear may enter by moving out of the present and into the past or future. Then the emotional body picks up on that fear. It then moves on to the physical body, this being such a quick process that I would not expect you to be able to break it down. But there is immediate physical tension, and at that moment the fear enters. Fear cannot coexist with love. Along with love I also place those experiences of faith and trust. At that moment when fear is that strong, the spiritual body loses all sense of trust that this will be okay.
Let us speak about this more specifically. Firstly, fear is never in this present moment, but always in the past or the future. Think about this. Put yourself again in that skidding car. It’s just skidding. You may be fine. Can you see your mind moving to that tree and the collision with it, or your mind moving backwards to the last time you skidded? Can you see how you have moved out of the present moment?
Let’s take a purely emotional situation. Somebody is walking toward you and his face looks very angry. The last time that you had an encounter with that person, he raged and snarled at you; he led you to feel small and humiliated, and so both anger and fear arise. The fear is not based on this present moment, but only on your past experience.
Let us move from this to both Carla’s, J’s and K’s questions. Looking at K’s question of fear of her own inner authority versus an outer authority, of trusting herself, I remind you again that there is no fear in the present moment. K, when you are feeling this, can you take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Where is this fear?” Begin to gain that perspective that allows you to know that you are creating an outcome if you act in a certain way or remembering an outcome when you did act in a certain way; but that each moment is fresh, and you are not the same being who was in that situation before. You have learned not to trust your own inner authority, and now you are trying to learn to trust. And yet there is a sense of wanting to know that you are right before you claim that authority; there is that in you which says, “Maybe I’m not right,” and gets caught up in those fears and angers. Then it moves to resentment of that other being who feels more self-assurance that it is right. So you have fear and anger mixed together here: anger that you don’t have that same self-assurance, resentment against that being for its assurance, and a fear that maybe you’re not right. The fear itself diminishes the sense of inner knowing.
Carla, when you spoke about your concern that your work would be adversely affected by pain medicine tonight, you were not remembering that it is not the medicine that prevents clear channeling but a fear that the medicine might prevent clear channeling. Can you see that difference? You are perfectly capable of repeating the concepts you receive under almost any circumstance down to near unconsciousness, because you have trained yourself so well to do this. But you are capable of allowing it to flow through you only when there is love. Again, love and fear can’t coexist. As soon as fear enters, and sense of doubt, of, “Can I do this?” it diminishes the ability to do it.
Here we come back to your question, Carla and J. (I know I have not answered the other question in depth, but I do want to avoid a long monologue here and would prefer that all six of us speak. I will gladly speak more on this upon request.) You fear you are not measuring up to your potential. Can you see how fear itself invites such perceived failure? I believe you understand; and the question is, How do you work with that fear? There is nothing special you need to do. You can’t take that fear and fling it away from you. But you can notice it and reach out to it with love. This fear is the child that comes to you, saying, “There’s a big dog outside and I’m afraid.” And you open the door and pat the dog and see that it’s friendly. You might reassure the child, saying, “The dog is friendly,” but you don’t belittle the child’s fear; you don’t say, “It’s stupid to be afraid.” But that’s what you do to yourselves; and as soon as you do that, the fear solidifies.
When you embarrass the child into going back out, it may finally reach out and pat the dog, but it will not get over its fear. When you hug the child and say, “I see how afraid you are. It’s okay to be afraid of big dogs. Would you like me to walk outside with you?”—this is not pushing the child to pat the dog or do anything special, just reassuring it with your love. The child will feel that calmness and begin to touch its own fear with love. As fear falls away enough, the child can naturally reach out and pat the dog.
Can you apply that to yourselves? Your dog here is your potential and all the ideas that you have for yourselves. As with the big dog, it may feel overwhelming! You are truly, each, unlimited; and there is no way that in human form you can achieve all that is possible for you. Can you accept that? You are not asked to be perfect, just to do the best you can do. But when you relate to that fear with criticism, saying, “I shouldn’t feel afraid. I should know my unlimitedness. I should be able to do anything,” you can see how that solidifies the fear and prevents you from acting.
You know this. You know that love is the answer, and yet in a sense it becomes an intellectual mantra: “Love is always the answer.” But what does it mean to say that love is the answer when the heart is feeling fear? How much more lovingly can you relate to the fear?
There is much more that I could say about fear here. I would prefer that others speak and come back to me. If you have specific questions about what I have said, I would be glad to answer them. If Q’uo wishes to speak now, that is fine with me; or if any of you wish to share your own ideas about fear, that would also be appropriate. That is all.
[new speaker] Q’uo
I am Q’uo. It is with joy at the insights of the one known as Aaron, as well as in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator, that we, known as Q’uo, greet you.
Let us look at fear from the perspective of deep generalization. This does not mean that the generalization always applies, but it may be a tool which the seeker may use. Fear is an intensification based on the illusion of separation. Were all beings aware that they were one, the motives and circumstances of behavior would be plain to see. If the Akashic Records were known, people might well choose to enjoy themselves more, being courageous enough to accept death as an ending to an incarnation. Although death is inevitable, most entities do not reckon with this.
Much fear is caused by a need to control the environment in a way helpful to the physical animal which houses the consciousness of each of you. This animal has a need to survive, which predisposes consciousness in manifestation toward control over the environment in order to obtain comfort, relaxation, and a feeling of security. Thus, fear is a perfect example of that which we would call a negatively polarizing thought. It assumes separation and usually hinges upon gaining or keeping control of that situation.
Let us examine this instrument; for though it is not aware of fear, yet it acts in fear. The red-ray center of this instrument’s body is very strong. However, the instrument feared it would not remember to be kind to its animal, as this instrument is always energetic emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Thus, through fear of a possible outcome, through fear of losing control of a vital piece of paraphernalia, this instrument restrained itself. This can be called good judgment, or it can be seen to be the fear of losing control of a detail of behavior which is supposed or presumed to be a life-or-death matter. Consciously the instrument feels no fear, yet there is enough respect for probable outcomes that the entity does indeed fear, and reacts in as loving and helpful a way as possible to the animal which honors it by serving as its manifestation in form.
Look at fear and ask, “What am I trying to control?” It is well to know that it is only an illusion that we ever are in control of anything. Not that entities are not free to make choices, but that the reality which eludes the illusion you enjoy is that all are parts of one flowing fountainhead of an active, creative, beautiful and living ocean of light. All flow into each other, through each other, through the self; and always, whatever condition the flow experiences, it is experienced not only as harmonious or aesthetically beautiful, but perfect. Each of you, as a spark, perceives the self as imperfect and at risk. That stops your spark of light from joining in shared heart as one. The only control entities have is not in circumstances, but in choosing skillful actions to deal with the catalyst which has been given. Thusly, if you see, hear and analyze mentally where the being is attempting to control and in what way, the start is made. However, it must be continually grounded in constant reaffirmation of faith and an awareness that one has no control except when one dedicates oneself to that highest and best occupation one may personally offer. We feel that we reach out to each other; but in reality we reach in to free ourselves from the fear of an unknown, only partially manifested other self or from a condition or substance with which one has experienced loss of control previously. The true freedom is that of the devoted and absolutely faithful seeker.
We are those of Q’uo, and open the sextalogue once again. We leave this instrument in love and in light.
[new speaker] Aaron
I am Aaron. I find it wonderful to talk like this in that Q’uo’s thoughts expand my own, and I would assume the reciprocal is true.
There are two things that Q’uo has spoken of that I’d like to take to a different space. One is the relationship between fear and separation. There is never fear in the spiritual body of a self in relation to that self. The fear is always of a perceived other self.
There are two kinds of separation that occur here. One is the illusion of being separate so that there is a self and an other, and one is the separation from the self. Let us address these separately. Let us firstly come back to that being approaching you with an angry face, and the sense of fear that perhaps that being will attack or harm you in some way. There is, of course, the need to protect the self. As Q’uo has pointed out, this physical body desires to continue itself; yet that being approaching you is not an other, it is just an aspect of the one heart and mind as you are, an aspect of the Creator as you are. Then this slips into fear because one perceives another about to harm it. One way to approach it in a more skillful and creative way would be to remind the self that this is an angry aspect of yourself and to treat that angry aspect that approaches you as you would treat your own anger. If you have learned to deal more skillfully with your own anger; [you know] that just as your own anger cannot harm you, another being’s anger cannot harm you. It is the illusion of separation that creates the defensiveness that escalates the anger into a spectre of harm.
We come back here to the visualization I asked you to make yesterday morning of love as these concentric circles, of fear and anger as sharp points emerging. When you can see those sharp points emerging and know that this is not an other but simply an aspect of yourself, that it is not that being’s anger or fear but just anger or fear, you can remain enfolded by those concentric circles and send them out to that angry being. Each sharp point hits these softening circles that you send out. As soon as you pull back and begin that sense of separation that allows you to feel attacked, then you begin to send out your own sharp points. From my point of view, I simply see a sword fight of light—sharp points are stabbing at each other and nothing exists to soften them.
Secondly, what about the separation from the self? The self, the deepest Self, is love. The pure spirit body can feel nothing other than love. When fear arises there is always a separation within the self. Here I am simply explaining more deeply what I introduced earlier in this evening’s session—that separation from one’s self creates a fragmentation, with the spirit body sending out love and the emotional and mental bodies feeling need. The feeling, then, is one of great distress to that self, because that of itself that knows oneness and knows love as the deepest truth is imprisoned in a way, torn out and separated. The being is cut asunder from its spiritual body. When you are separated from that sense of love, such strong doubt arises in you that it becomes very hard to get back to that love. You know what is happening within you, but it is so hard to stop it.
This, above any other time, is where the being must cherish itself. As soon as fear is noted, the first step must be to enfold that frightened being with love, thus reducing fragmentation so that the being can come back into the center of itself and begin to feel again its connection with the Creator and with all things, and know that it cannot be harmed.
Often you think of fear as being a useful emotion in that it protects you. You are crossing a street and suddenly see a truck coming toward you. There is that instant of terror, of, “What if it hits me?” And you move quickly. It’s true that the physical body responds to that fear in a chemical manner that allows a fast reaction. But fear is not necessary and in fact works counter to the most appropriate reaction. Let me explain: While it is true that the being does move out of the way of the truck and that you would not want to stand there in the middle of the street and send love to that fear when the appropriate action is to move, the movement does not grow out of fear but out of love that respects the physical body enough to preserve it. Fear is paralyzing and love is enabling. You cannot take the time to analyze danger. The physical being must act to preserve itself in a certain way. But this does not need to be a matter of fear, simply a matter of wisdom; and here again, wisdom grows out of love.
Q’uo spoke of Carla’s fear and the sense of separation. The attempt to preserve the physical body through a sense of separation enhances the separation. Will you look at this carefully, each of you, in some example that suits your own needs and see that it is not necessary to respond with fear to preserve the body? When you know your oneness with all things, truly know that there is no separate self, then each time that you see separation emerging, you can remind yourself that this is the voice of fear and allow that illusion of separateness to fall away. It is not expected that the incarnate entity will always be able to keep that in its mind; and yet the closer you can come to that, the less paralyzing your fear will be and the more freedom you will find.
There is one more thing that I would add, which is that fear can be balanced by loving-kindness to oneself and others. This is a quality in the self that can be nurtured. It is helpful to remind oneself each time one feels fear, that one is fearing a delusion when one sees part of the self as a separate self. You may acknowledge that delusion, and then send love not only to the self that is fearing but to that which is feared. Beyond that, begin to notice all the times one does not feel fear. When one is in a situation that is in some way threatening, often one responds with love to that situation. Truly, each of you do that far more than you respond with fear or anger or separation. And you don’t notice that response; it goes by. But it is a small, tender sprout, that of loving-kindness; and it must be nurtured. Can you begin to bring your attention to each time you respond in a loving way to a situation that might goad you toward separation? You do this not to pat yourself pridefully on the back for that loving response but to nurture that sprout of love within you and encourage it to blossom.
There is more that I could say about fear, but would prefer to end here to allow Q’uo or any of the others of you to speak with either questions or comments, as you feel appropriate. That is all.
[new speaker] Q’uo
I am Q’uo, and greet each once again in joy, love and light.
And how shall seekers learn to bloom into adventurous and fearless citizens of the universe? One good resource is one’s own imperfect memory; for fears upon the catalyst of an outer happenstance are merely the top layer, in most cases, of what could be seven or seventy times seven layers of similar and repetitive situations which ended in a perceptive judgment that this situation is frightening. The lines of genealogy of fear go back like the long listings of who sired whom in your holy works. The most recent fear can be worked with helpfully by assessing gracefully and accurately the present fear and all it connotes, and comparing it to previous similar experiences. The pile of repetitive experiences may eventually begin to be seen as a repeating pattern; and as one peels away the onionskin layers of memory, one comes at last to the initial occasion of fear.
We may not be able to forgive the self for its present fear; however, we surely may be able to gaze upon the helpless infant and see with compassion the utter and complete dependence of this helpless consciousness. The infants have chosen parents which shall offer them the fears; that is, the unmet desires which will not be met. Talking is out of the question. Writing is out of the question. Even independent movement is unthinkable to the newly born. It routinely experiences areas of sheer terror. Since the infant is in a very small universe within the illusion, the fear is deeply rooted because of the absoluteness of its lack of ability to control situations in order that it may be clean, full of nutrition, and comfortable.
We do not encourage the exercise of moving backwards to discover the root of a present fear as any kind of parlor game or diversion. When each fear is followed to its root, that root is as strong as a lifetime of distortion in recurrent patterns can make it.
When one has found the root of that fear, one is then able to become aware of the portion of the identity that has been lost. However, like wearing an old shoe that never fit, entities tend to accept fear stoically. There is far more use in full and clear communication of the self. Each self has an observer that is a portion of the self and integrated with it. It is an art to avoid doing violence to the beingness of the self when one is rooting out a portion of that identity. Thusly, it must be done courteously and honorably, as the one known as Aaron has said, as the gentle stripping away of any minuscule portion of the blockage which is no longer needed. Thusly, one is able to have spiritual cleansing without attendant violence to the integrated mind, body and spirit.
Perhaps the greatest anguish of all to each self is the inevitable iniquity which is part of the experience of being in what you call human manifestation.
I am Q’uo, and once again we leave this instrument in love and in light, that all others may feel free to collaborate upon this most important topic.
[new speaker] Aaron
With thanks to my spirit friend and brother/sister self, I would like to speak to this idea Q’uo has raised about the infant and the terror that it feels. It would seem that a sense of terror is inbuilt into the human experience, and one must then ask, “Why?” If one cannot avoid the experience of fear as a human, then one must assume there is a reason why that is given; and perhaps looking deeper into that reason will help one to accept fear in a more loving way. Come back here to the thought that it is not the fear that’s the problem, but your relationship to the fear. The infant’s relationship to fear is necessarily one of aversion. It has needs, and if those needs are not met immediately, as Q’uo pointed out, it has no way of expressing this pain beyond its crying. And so it learns to fear and also to perceive itself as separate, because as long as it is nurtured and never feels the rising of a need, there is no separation from the mother. But each time that need arises and is not met instantly, it begins to perceive itself in this illusion as a separate self; and that self solidifies.
Of course, my dear ones, this is necessary to the human experience or it wouldn’t be given. If you incarnated and this veil that screens you out of full spiritual knowing did not drop into place, if this illusion of separation did not happen, then you wouldn’t learn on this earthly plane. There would be no difference between this plane and the spirit plane except that you would be in a body. But to be here in a body with no illusion of separation and with full spiritual awareness would mean that you could not learn the lessons that this incarnation is meant to teach you. Can you see that?
So I would ask you to begin to embrace fear as a gift that is meant to teach you. When it arises, rather than struggling with it and hating it, say a small “Thank you” to it. Let your fear talk to you of oneness and not of separation. Let it be a reminder to come back to that core where you are part of the one heart and the one mind, rather than experiencing fear as a sword that severs you from your heart and mind. Treat your fear with love and gratitude for its teaching.
Are there specific questions that any of you have related to anything that has been said or has not been said? That is all.
[new speaker] Carla
Aaron, I see myself as a perfectionist, and see the fear that comes from not being able to live up to my own ideal. That would seem to suggest that being a perfectionist is not wise; however, I have found that unless one aims for the ideal, one never begins to approach it. I don’t mean this in the sense of brutally urging myself to do what I obviously cannot. It is more an existential question, apart from any situation, as to the value of the perfectionism that is at once my greatest helper in living a godly life and certainly my most devastating vice: self-judgment. I see I am not flowing in the stream by asking continually to be my best, for I am always watching myself; yet this attitude has helped me tremendously in that in disciplining myself I seem to have been able to become accepting at a deeper and deeper level of compassion. Would you wish to comment upon this, Aaron? I would be glad to hear it. Thank you.
[new speaker] Aaron
My dear one, this quality that you call perfectionism can come from two different places. It can be a voice of fear or of love. As you have pointed out, it helps you to realize your ideal, to be all of what you can be, to hold that in front of you. What you are holding in front of you is the soul, which is unlimited and perfect. You see the image of that perfection and know that while the physical manifestation cannot reach that full perfection, yet in the true sense it has already reached it. You are already all that you will ever be, and always have been. Here we get into a question of simultaneous time, and I will not go deeply into that now. You are all familiar with the general concept of which I speak. But the self that holds that ideal in front of you is no different than the self that kneels down in prayer before an image of the Christ, understanding the depth of that being’s love and compassion and ability to forgive, and knowing that one has the potential in oneself and can achieve that potential as it works at it through many lifetimes, to reach eventually—not in this density but further along the way—that level of pure, unconditional love.
Then there is that perfectionism that comes from the voice of fear. This doesn’t hold an image up as our ideal, but rather, it is a derogatory voice. It speaks of non-acceptance. It speaks of the history of the being, both in that incarnation and in other incarnations where so many times there has been defeat, so many times there has been non-acceptance by the self and by perceived other selves.
A voice of perfection speaks of eventual success because it knows, fully knows, that it is already perfect. The other voice speaks of failure, because it sees all the places where the physical manifestation is limited. So, as with anything else in your life, it is not the quality of perfectionism that’s the problem but where that is coming from, which voice is speaking.
This is not true just of perfectionism, but of any quality in your life. A desire to serve comes to mind here. We have spoken of the concept in the past few days that this desire can come from a voice of love or a voice of fear. It is the voice of fear that distorts the ability and fragments the self, and further enhances the sense of helplessness and limitedness. It is the voice of love that opens the self, that inspires, leading the being to be all it can be and touching the deep sense of acceptance and compassion when that human can do no more because it is human.
Would you have me speak further on this, or have I answered your question?
[new speaker] Carla
No, thank you, Aaron. This is sufficient.
[new speaker] Aaron
My friends, you each contain a great deal of wisdom within you. I understand that when there are these channeling sessions you are anxious to hear our thoughts, and yet your own thinking would prompt you to a greater depth as well. So, it is not only questions but also comments that are appropriate. That is all.
[new speaker] Q’uo
I am Q’uo. We dwell in love and light, and would sculpt the final thought of this extremely enjoyable session of working.
The ones known as Barbara and Carla this day were speaking about the concept of prayer pills. This concept was visualized as a simple recognition and respect for conditions perceived, the particular condition being the one known as Barbara’s clear awareness of outer-plane contact which is unlike inner-plane contact, which is the privilege of only those teachers that have incarnated upon this planet at one time and which cannot harm the self, as it is within the energy web of that particular consciousness’ field. At some level [inner-planes contact] has been accepted personally by the self or it would not come into manifestation.
There are many outer-plane influences upon entities. For instance, the astrology which many use is a way to become more aware of circumstances, although, because the exact moment when the soul enters the physical vehicle must remain unknown, astrology will remain inaccurate specifically and is only helpful in mapping out the topology or neighborhood where catalyst is now occurring.
No matter what the personal situation may be, the tools of prayer—contemplation, meditation, inspiration and all of those intuitional qualities—are of much aid. The outer-plane confluences are from stars, galaxies and in truth any external consciousness which has been perceived. When affirming and praying, one is able to experience fearlessness, for one is involved in worship; and all else may be put aside for that moment of worship. It has been suggested to pray without ceasing. This is excellent advice, for the outer-plane entities which speak through instruments such as this one are cosmic energies which influence the self. A continual “medication” of meditation in ceaseless remembrance, love and praise of the infinite One places one’s conscious awareness in a state far more resonant with unity than an unprayerful state would be, in relation to its ability skillfully to perceive.
Respect and honor the need for heavenly food of the self. If positive and negative outer-plane entities rain upon all alike, like the cosmic influences that they are, and if free will is to be maintained, the self must be independent and thoughtful; for above all, fear is uninteresting.
May you each find the gentleness and tenderness to re-create and re-experience that helpless and brutalized infant whose space has been invaded again and again, whose needs are not often adequately met in some area or another. Be gentle with this and patient, and remember to remember the one infinite Creator, whose nature is limitless love and whose every manifestation is light. We greet you and offer benediction in all that there is—the love and the light of the one infinite Creator.
May we of Q’uo speak for the one known as Aaron in thanking each for the passionate love of the Creator and of service to others that has called us here and given us an incredible opportunity to triangulate upon a central question. We find working with Aaron a delight, and are humble before this entity. [We offer] our blessings and our love, our peace and our joy, our love, our light. All that there is, is that condition in which we leave you, never truly leaving, but merely receding so that the raindrops of our positivity may not fall upon the unprepared heart. Adonai. Adonai. I am Q’uo.