Special Meditation for R and S in the area of long-term serious life-threatening illness. What does a person who is very much consciously aware of the necessity of maintaining balance in the life, of working out lessons, of facing the lessons, what does such a person do when there is an illness that continues to come back with various manifestations that puzzle doctors, that puzzle the person, that puzzle friends and family? What does such a person do in the way of realigning the thinking, the attitude, the being when everything has been exhausted, it would seem, in attempting to deal with the illness and the distortions of mind or emotions that have caused it? When all of the research into the childhood, the experiences of a traumatic nature during a life, and the lessons that one feels that are spiritually set before one have been explored in-depth and have been gone over very carefully? Is there a surrender and acceptance? Is it possible to push away the healing and the wholeness that we seek, by seeking too much? What would you say to such a person who is in need of the peace and the healing that comes with finding the wholeness and the integrity of the life pattern and how does such a person go about healing the mind/body/spirit complex?

(Carla channeling)

We are those of Q’uo. Greetings to each of you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. It is a great privilege to be called to this group and we thank you for the intensity of your seeking and the harmony of your meditation. Both are great blessings to us and great teachers of us.

You ask concerning health and ill health. This is indeed a subject to which many approaches may be taken. If it is acceptable to each of you, we would find a somewhat different approach to be useful as long as it is acceptable to each that the material offered herein not be offered to other entities. 1 We will pause, while each considers this and if there is an objection, we shall speak in a more desired way. I am Q’uo.

No objection here, Q’uo. Continue.

I am Q’uo. Very well. We ask each to gaze upon that which has been accepted by each as a subjectively known truth. That is, that the experience of this particular density is not an experience which is the experience of a native of this density. It is, rather, the experience of one who moves into an incarnational experience in which the very vibrations of the entire culture are somewhat, shall we say, distressing subjectively to each. In other words, we are speaking to those whom the Confederation has often called “wanderers.”

Each of you knows a good deal about the transparency of third density illusion. To the various reflections, illuminations, and resources of the deep mind. Of the help available to and through the deep mind and of the continuing urgent necessity of being self-forgiven and self-accepting, being able to gaze, not only on all the world, in forgiveness and acceptance but upon the self. Because each of you has found this incarnational experience challenging, the aforementioned resources have been used to a great extent and we may simply go forward from there.

When a wanderer makes a decision to serve by moving into an incarnational experience amongst the people which it hopes to serve, it carries with it that desire for service which is beyond the description of normal desire. It is so deeply heartfelt that it is more of an instinct than a desire. Because this sort of service takes a very balanced structure or fundament, each within the group has agreed to have companions along the way, most especially, the companions called mates.

Thus, although each is equally sensitive, equally loving and equally willing, as the incarnational vibrations begin to wear away at the very fabric of the physical vehicle, this erosion is mirrored more by one than the other of the entities in the mated pair. It may be seen, for instance, that in the work that was the life desire of the one known as Don, the one who now acts as instrument acted not as the one who sacrificed, but as the strong right arm that could enable this wanderer to move through that ministry, that witness that unspoken evidence of love which each of you is not only capable of showing, but indeed does show. Without speech, without indication, without expression.

This entity, then, became polarized towards being that one which bore the vibrational difficulties in a more obvious way, and as the mated relationship with the one known as Jim occurred, there was more and more the polarization of the one who seems to serve physically and in a mundane way, and the one who seems to serve in a more directly communicative way. This may be seen also to be the case where, in the one known as R, there is the capacity for and the opportunity for much communication, while the one known as S balances this gift with the gift of sacrificial, physical, mundane responsibility. The more that is hoped for by the spirit that each of you is, the more intense will be this polarization so that each of the mated pair may experience as much of an extreme of difficulty as is possible while retaining an unbiased observational viewpoint whose nature is love.

It is to be reckoned with, with wanderers such as yourselves—and we are only able to say this to you because each of you has reckoned with and accepted that classification—that there is an additional burden that may be carried and that is carried by those who are able for as long as they are able and that is a far less personal, a far more planetary distress. Each entity in this room is an equal partner in a healing, not of one person, but in attempts to heal the planetary vibrations of those whom you came to serve. It is a great privilege, greatly treasured by each before this incarnation, to be offered the opportunity to carry not only a personal suffering, but also a deep, pure sorrow that is the pain of the planetary sphere which you came to love and to serve. It is well for each to realize that the one seems to be well and the other ill. This is, in fact, illusory and is an artifact of the masks which each chose to wear during this particular portion of the incarnational experience in order that a situation where there was love evidenced amidst difficulty could occur. Without the balancing mate, the vibrations of healing for the planet could in no way be carried by the one who has offered to take this part of the experiential catalyst which is, as we said, as artifact of each entities own high hopes and love as each gazed at this very difficult birthing upon the planet which you call Earth.

We are attempting to move each entity’s mind from the concept of illness to the concept of suffering impersonally. We are aware that each questions how much suffering should be allowed; how much should it be fought; at what point shall it be completely accepted. To give each entity specific information would cross that fine line and move us into direct confrontation with the law of free will.

Therefore, there are those things which we cannot offer you. What we can offer you is a careful view of the situation which you are experiencing from the point of view of one who is not incarnate and not moving through the extreme physical experiences which are shaping and honing the faith and the will of those who came to aid planet Earth in the most direct and loving way possible. You may easily gaze upon the crucifixion scene and see not simply the two that seem ill, but the four to whom we speak upon the cross, gazing at the planet. Gazing upon the people. Seeing weddings and funerals and families from the perspective of the cross. Seeing with compassion the imperfections and iniquities of all entities in third density including that third-density self, which each of you must somehow manage to engineer a way through the incarnation for.

Yet, to grasp the nature of your situation it is necessary to move beyond the curtains of space and time. Move deeply within and touch the heart this is you. Find the I AM within the center of your being. Ask I AM, “How much shall I hurt?” and listen to the I AM for your I AM is true and that I AM says to you, “Sit. Feel. Listen.” Become aware of the love that is the I AM. Know because you feel it, because you can touch it, that whether the physical body lives, dies, or does something in between, this I AM within you has only one ambition and that is to carry as much sacrificial love as is possible.

In order that the energies of the planet may be stabilized during what is indeed a fairly intense period of sorting out those who are harvestable, both positively and negatively, it should be no surprise to any that there are many very negative seeming events occurring at this time. There is also a negative harvest and there are those attempting to gain that harvestability.

We are aware that each wishes very much to ameliorate the illness, to become physically strong again, fit and seemingly far more ready to be a spiritual warrior. But the spirit has ever used those who seem weak in body, for the seeming weakness of body is instead a strength of spirit that does not wish to end the incarnation, that wishes always and in every place to give thanks for the opportunity to serve and like a true servant, hopes, no matter what the situation seems to be, to multiply the gifts and the talents of communication to those of this planet. To add a voice of compassion and humor and love and to subtract from this illusion as much judgment, prejudice and narrowness of view as possible, by picking that up too and carrying it into the light that wanderers are so aware of and feel with such reality.

My brothers and sisters, we are aware that this may not give you comfort, for we are not speaking of healing your bodies, but we ask you to look at this situation of healing. Gaze, not at the physical for a moment, but turn your gaze to the degree of “I AM” that has been expressed and experienced by each mate from the other.

Ask yourself how important that wholeness is? And how many entities of whom you are aware that have a whole, healed mated relationship? You see, each of you moves into relationship with a knowing. A knowing that is beyond explanation. A knowing that it is that natural way to grow and learn. This you cannot share with entities. This you can only celebrate with the mate. This is the spiritual health, the wholeness, this relationship, for with it you stand, yoked and pulling together and the ordeal of pulling this wagon of love and concern and care and treasuring and nurturing is pulled uphill and the more that it becomes steep, the more is the spirit fed with ever more refined fire, until there is actually a burning away of physical substance, the desire to help, to sacrifice, and to love is so very strong. An entity cannot do this alone. An entity can do many things alone but it cannot pull that wagon within which the Creator is the passenger. Thus, we ask each to respect the incarnational experience, which seems so hopeless. For each of you is indeed a living hope, a kind of sigil, the stamp of something far greater than you shall ever know that you are able to share.

We would say just one more introductory thing before we open to questions. The cooperation or lack of cooperation with an illness that is manifesting within the body is always a concern for those who wish to liven an impeccable life. We are able to say that at the point at which all speak to us this evening with their hopes and thoughts it is an acceptable and appropriate time to gaze at a cooperation with a destiny which you came to fulfill. Where is there fear? Examine that fear. Is there fear of loss? Move into your heart and sense what lies beyond fear and loss. Is there fear that one is not doing all that one could to work for health? Move into your heart. Touch that self and discover true weariness, true acceptance, and a readiness to be a consolation that is unspoken. This is not resignation. This is not giving up. This is not choosing death over life. This is choosing a present moment and determining that insofar as each is able, each shall appreciate, explore and care about the present moments that are the link betwixt the illusory bodies that your spirits now use and the eternity to which your spirits belong. Oh, how you yearn for the light of home, for the rest of eternity, for the peace of infinity, for the simple joy of living in truth when all about you in this incarnational experience is illusion upon illusion, all of it telling lie after lie after lie.

Be respectful of the duty you chose to shoulder in this incarnation. Realize that very few wanderers awaken to the extent that those present have awakened and then see that the illusion is going to seem for those who are this much awake ever less harmonious, ever more deleterious to the sensitized, physical vehicle.

Why this and not that mate? Why the illness here and not there? Think not upon that, for the mated entity, the “I AM” of the two, have this illness. It is manifesting partially by one entity seeming weak, partially by one entity seeming strong; by one entity seeming to be unable and the other seeming to be able. But we ask each who seems to be so able, how able do you feel? And at the same time, we ask each who seems to be so weak, how weak is your spirit, now?

We ask you simply to gaze upon the remainder of this incarnation in peace. The only thing you need ask of yourself is to work on harmony with the mate as first priority among all things. To ask of the self, not what the world would ask of you, but to touch the “I AM” within you and move in accordance with that wisdom, no matter where it seems to lead you. For your strength as wanderers is knowing, accepting and rejoicing in the opportunity for servanthood upon a planet that is dark and much in need of the light and the love that you convey beyond all words and actions.

We are aware we have not settled anyone’s problems, but we cannot without infringing upon free will. We may say, however, that although we seldom experience an emotion, we do experience an emotion at this time and that is sympathy. Each of you has been very greedy. When you came to this incarnation, each of you chose to fill the plate full with every problem and difficulty you could imagine, because you wished to be a witness to the light and to the love that is the true reality, that is the infinite creative Thought. Now you are here and you are doing this. Sometimes better, sometimes subjectively, but so much better.

We ask you to cease judging and simply live in the moment without concern. When the incarnations of each are over, each will be so unbelievably pleased that the opportunity to express this kind of love and to communicate it in light and gentle ways has been taken and has been used. You will be saying, “What fun we had! What a wonderful time! Yes, it was tough. But, oh! What a time we had!”

For you see, you are warriors—old, old warriors. Not against anything, but for love, and the love that you offer in this incarnation is the love which this density needs to understand; that is, sacrificial love.

Gladly split yourself open and bless the splitting. Worry not [about] the outcome of this or that and insofar as you can, remain aware of the reason you came. Of the joy of service. Of the great sympathy you deserve from yourself as the animal, which has given itself as your vehicle, suffers because of the mismatch of spiritual vibrations betwixt the wanderer self, and the third-density vehicle.

We salute you, my brothers and sisters, and we do indeed express sympathy. May you encourage each other. May you express your love and faith for each other and in each other and may you bring each other ever more close to that awareness of the “I AM” that is the center of all that there is. That place that is closer to you than your heart or your mind. That temple within which your spirit sits, while upon the physical plane all sorts of things are happening. Rest there in peace. We bless each and we thank this instrument for the care it took in challenging and for the trust it showed when it was asked to channel that which was not to be offered to others.

At this time, we would transfer this contact to the one known as Jim. I am Q’uo, and leave this instrument in love and in light.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and light through this instrument. At this time, we would offer ourselves to those present in the capacity of attempting to speak to any queries which may be upon the minds. Is there a query at this time?

Yes, Q’uo. First off, for the message. There doesn’t seem to be much left to say that you haven’t said. I have one question. I’m wondering if my recent urge or compulsion to just let it go and let it happen, is it more a feeling of helplessness, or am I finally just realizing that I’m just here for the ride and then stop trying to control it, just let it happen. It’s going to happen either way, whether I try to effect the outcome or not.

I’m just curious. I’ve recently been feeling almost lighter with the realization that I should just stop and let it happen. I’m sure you know what I’m trying to say, but I am having a hard time verbalizing it.

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. The ability to live one’s incarnation in the present moment in the face of great discomfort is an ability which works its way to the conscious awareness by a circuitous path in many which find themselves in a situation such as that one which you now experience. Deep within one’s subconscious mind and memory of that which encompasses this life pattern is the sure knowledge that all is well. As one lives the life and encounters the catalyst, this sure knowledge that all is well makes itself available in those ways which the entity is able…

[Side one of tape ends.]

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and am again with this instrument. The efforts that you make, seemingly in your own behalf, then, are those that extend in their effect to that environment which is this planet’s third-density illusion. Thus, it is well to be of a light and accepting frame of mind and to offer oneself as that entity which gives light and love in whatever form is available to it.

Is there a further query, my brother?

I don’t think so, Thank you, Q’uo.

I am Q’uo, and we thank you, my brother. Is there another query?

I’d sure like to follow up on that one. Then the thing to do is to go ahead and accept whatever and to realize the healing is taking place simply because of our love of the planet. Is that a fair paraphrase of which your [inaudible]?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. We would agree that this is a relatively accurate interpretation of our intentions. We do not wish to place your feet for you upon your path or to choose those actions in which you shall engage or those actions in which you shall engage, or those actions which you shall not take part in. These choices are those which are of most importance to each entity.

However, the attitude in which any attitude—we correct this instrument—in which any action is taken, is that attitude of acceptance and that placement of the attention within the moment that is before one, allowing that moment and its own urgencies to direct the feet upon the path rather than placing the feet according to a future or past determination or approximation.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Yes. I have a couple of things I wanted to ask and I think they’ll probably be pretty brief. One thing I’ve wanted to ask for a long time that I haven’t felt the vibration [inaudible], is that when Don Elkins died, I felt as if it would [inaudible]… but that was part of what we traded. I was learning wisdom and he was learning compassion and compassion killed him, and he didn’t heal in this density.

It has been my feeling that’s gotten surer, since I have been able to heal that [inaudible] been able to forgive myself for somehow not being able to keep him alive. That as I heal that mental image in myself, that [inaudible]. Could you confirm that?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. Because of the nature of your own surety in this area of your own investigation we may confirm that the exchange of energies that occurred between the two of you, prior to the death, as you would call it, of the one known as Don, that the one known as Don transferred a portion of his personality to you so that it became necessary for you in your own evolution and attempt at balancing the lessons of your life pattern, to undergo the same manifestations of the mental complex as did the one known as Don. Because this entity’s personality resided in some part within your own mental complex, this then was a necessity, if you were to find your own mental balance once again. Thus, that which you have surmised is in the large part correct.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Yes, I have one more. When… well, Jim and I have been calling it “ill spouse/well spouse.” When the ill spouse is feeling rotten, it’s not too difficult for the well spouse to do something to comfort. To touch, a cool washcloth, some words of encouragement, but I am puzzled about what the ill spouse can do to somehow ease the burden of the one who has to deal with [inaudible]. Is there a word? Is there a sentence? [inaudible]

I am Q’uo, and aware of your query, my sister. As you have correctly determined in your own query, a word, a touch, an expression of that love which is truly felt with the heart has a great transformative ability so that there need be no great display of gratitude other than the heartfelt offering of that love which truly resides within your heart.

Love is the great healer and enabler in all illusion. Call upon that quality of love that wells up from within you. Give it whatever form is possible.

Is there another query, my sister?

I do have one final one. I know that my systems are weak enough now that just about any illness could be fatal to me [inaudible] and it tears at me that I would be leaving somebody who would be [inaudible] quite devastated and devastated for the rest of the incarnation. How can I forgive myself for putting him in this position? I have no choice.

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. You can do only that which you can do, my sister. You cannot take another’s burden, in most cases. You have borne much in your incarnation. Worry not about that which is projected from the present moment into that which shall be a future moment. Do and be in this moment and allow each succeeding moment to be created from the harmony of this moment. It is natural for entities within your third-density illusion to move from the present moment and to reminisce about those previous experiences and to project those that may occur in your future, for the present moment is that which is the most illusory and difficult to comfortably place oneself within, for all of one’s life, then, is contained within that immediacy of experience which the present moment surrounds. And for most entities who have not consciously considered the purpose of the life pattern, the present moment is that which shall be escaped from. Thus, we would recommend that you share your love at each present moment when it is felt and allow the moment to be enough unto itself.

Is there a further query, my sister?

No, my brother, I thank you very much. And I guess we’ll just [inaudible] memorial statement. [Inaudible].

I am Q’uo, and we again thank you, my sister. Is there another query at this time?

Yes, Q’uo, I have a question. We’ve been doing a lot of discussing about the childhood and working those things out. And it seems that problems in the childhood that aren’t worked out sometimes tend to contaminate the present moment and working things out, apparently, is going to be a very difficult and very painful process. My question is, is the clearing out and balancing of all of these painful experiences and feelings and dusting out cobwebs beneficial to allowing the present moment to be experienced with more purity or perhaps more clarity?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. We feel that you have a good grasp of this concept, for it is the early experiences within each entity’s incarnation that prepare the entity for those lessons that shall be laid out and those trails that shall be followed in order that an overall balance within the mind/body/spirit complex might be obtained. The clarity of vision of which you spoke is increased as one is able to see those factors and forces that have shaped one’s attitudes and which yet echo within the present moment of each entity. A portion of one’s efforts is well spent when one attempts to understand the formative years and their effect upon the perceptions and life pattern. The ability to enjoy each passing moment is enhanced, as one is able to balance the distortions that have been borne for these many years. This is not an escape into the past as one is attempting to enhance one’s ability to express the truest nature of one’s personality as the clearing of these early imprints is completed.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Not really. This was something I was concerned about and was having a hard time getting [inaudible] in the proper way. I would like to ask if there is anything that I can do help R better, to support him better to make this less difficult for him.

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. We realize that each entity present would wish to improve in the effort that is offered in service to others, especially to those that are the mated entities in the relationships and we look upon those efforts which are being made and see that there is little left for suggested improvements for each gives with an whole heart and would give any more that was asked, if only it could be described. We commend you, each of you, for your whole-hearted giving and receiving of love. It is important not only to give the love which you feel, but to receive the love which is offered as well. We would make one general suggestion to each entity in this regard and that is that when the effort has been made, that the worry that attends intensive opportunities for learning be discarded and that whatever efforts are made, be made with as light a heart as is possible, for the worrying, as you call it, the overconcern for any situation, tends to debilitate the offering of service and to drag, as it were, the air speed, if we may utilize the terminology for flight, for each present is indeed an entity that attempts to soar ever higher in the realms of love and service, therefore, be of good cheer, looking at the moment as that opportunity to share the love that is within, freely and creatively.

Is there a further query, my sister?

No, thank you very much.

I am Q’uo, and again we thank you, my sister. As we assess the energies of this gathering, we feel that we have spoken to those concerns which were the focus of this group and for the time being, would suggest the pondering of that which we have been honored to share with you. Take those thoughts that are of value to you and leave those that are not.

We should be happy to speak with you again upon your request. At this time, we shall take our leave of this group leaving each, as always, in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.

  1. We are grateful that S has granted permission to share this transcript with others.