[overview] This is a continuation of the session from last week in which we were discussing the query of how to proceed on the path of, shall we say, perfecting the self: working to the point where we’re able to accept the self and the distortion—whatever feeling one has—whether it be anger, jealousy, depression, covetousness, greediness, laziness, overachieving... We’ll stop there, and proceed into the area of a certain attitude or perception that Q’uo talked about last week, where we see the world around us as a blessing, as a means by which we learn what we need to learn. How do we now proceed when we’ve begun to accept ourselves and the distortions that we feel? What is the next step in order that we can more easily and fully achieve the balancing of all of these distortions, so that the light moves through us in a way that allows us to radiate it to others, rather than hold it in the distorted form in one particular energy center?
I am of the principle known to you as Q’uo. Greetings, love, light and blessings to each of you. We have gently aided this instrument’s physical vehicle into a far more relaxed configuration than it was able to achieve consciously, and so we shall be somewhat measured in our speaking; however, we are pleased to be aware that this does not create any difficulty for this blessed group of seekers after the truth.
The central question of consciousness is its definition, and the central concern of those who wish to work in consciousness is to be enough aware of that definition that the quest becomes centered and focused. When we spoke last concerning the spiritual path, and moved seemingly backwards into underlying material concerning the processes of perception, our intention was to begin a dialogue in which each [seeker] may gaze at the mechanical, as well as metaphysical, means of prosecuting a plan of development as a seeker in the most lucid way possible. Consequently, we felt that we needed to stress to each seeker the enormous subtlety of the process by which each gathers the information which is then put to use in grasping where this consciousness moves, where it lives, where it is exultant and alive beneath, above and beyond all perceived limitations.
It is common for those who are seeking to assume that their role in the seeking has some intended emotional bias that would appear as noticeably metaphysical or spiritual. However, we pin you to the spot where you may gaze at the mechanical process of perception; for, if consciousness is, but is not perceived, this consciousness is infinite and intelligent, but without any form.
Each seeker senses an enormous framework of form and substance, not only about each organ and bone and muscle of your physical vehicles, but also of each tender sprout of new thought, each seemingly larger truth. It is well for serious seekers to begin squarely gazing at the impossibility of, in any final way, becoming able to control perception. If spiritual seekers or any who experience third density, put within their intelligence the estimate that intelligence will deliver correct answers, this entity has made a fundamental error. Each seeker perceives poorly. Each seeker planned to perceive poorly.
Thusly, as we begin this day, we ask that you see yourself in compassion. For every truth that you may feel you know, there are a thousand biases that have moved into the web of your energies and become solidified, in some way that only dimly reflects the actual consciousness that each seeker is. You are not shoddy materials. The improvement of the spiritual quest is not particularly dependent upon the accuracy of the perceptions noted, since all perceptions will be, to a very linear and mechanically seen extent, biased and imperfect. Thusly, as one works consciously to form an ever more authentic and true life experience, one must move into an authentic humility concerning the nature of this particular classroom which you now enjoy.
Let us rest in peace and in self-compassion, in the truth that is most nearly true; that being, that there is no intention or necessity for becoming wiser, more mature, more special, as your harvest and bounty of lessons learned is brought in. You do, indeed, have harvest each day in your experience. You do, indeed, store it and work with it. But start from this point: that you are aware that the work that you can do will be done as well as each can do it, and it will be imperfect perception.
A choice fundamental to the third-density experience is the decision to become individual in an apparent and gross fashion. When two hands meet, they do not join organically to form a being with four hands and two bodies. No individual touches another in the deepest sense; yet, all individuals are you, so that as you perceive others’ paths you are then at your most skillful in ascertaining your own spiritual sensibility. The third-density entity cannot perceive, because it is imperceptible that there is only one being and that each of you is the “I AM.” So you gaze at the dark mirror of yourself, and find the need to refresh the self as one sees one’s self in the endless series of distorted and flawed mirrors which one may find in a carnival. You may see yourself tall or short, fat or thin, strange or lovely; but all the mirrors of the self are flawed. That flaw continues as the entity gazes at others. However, as the seeker gazes at pilgrims upon the same road, the artificial separation creates a spurious but helpful clarity, in seeing in another a far less distorted mirror. Consequently, a tool that can be used at any time to center and focus the self upon learning is to gaze at that seemingly separate self with your more impersonal viewpoint, and thusly, see yourself.
What have you said about others today? What have you thought about your companions? Whatever it may be, it was only apparently a consideration of an other self. It was, far more deeply, an examination of the self in the mirror which another self has offered you. This leads us to suggest that, although persistence and determination are absolutely fundamental to working within spiritual consciousness, there is far, far more that moves into the equations of learning. Take the self, then, off of the barb, away from the hook of one’s own judgment. You did not come here to memorize lessons. You came to this arena of choice to be a choice, not simply to espouse a point of view. The espousal of a point of view is cerebral. The beingness or essence or vitality of the self is without words. It simply is.
It, of course, is a difficult task to learn anything, and doubly difficult when all the books are open but there is no illumination by which one may read the simple, generous and lovely answers from the textbook. You can only hold that Book of Truth that is your heart’s wisdom in a trusting awareness, and so give up yourself to yourself by your self-compassion, that this beloved wisdom begins to soften that which is you, not that which you think or that which you feel or that which you do, but that which is. You are a verb, not a noun. You are not a thing. You are. The simplicity of this beingness eludes the mind, and refuses to obey any particular form of behavior. As the seeker moves along this self-perceived path, it acts and thinks and talks and believes that it is those activities, there being no evidence to the contrary; but, as you turn and face the inevitable distortions involved in the process of perception itself, it is easier to see that the path of the seeker is not going to fall along any planned or consciously desired outcome, unless that happens to be a natural fruit of your particular being.
We ask all seekers to remove from themselves the request to have more or less comfort, more or less perceived awareness, or more or less of any valued quality, for each of you is now infinite, and in this moment is all things.
Imagine this all-ness of you. Your consciousness is attempting to pack the baggage that you may carry along this path of seeking. Can it put in the sky, the moon, the stars, the universe, the question, the mystery? Can any suitcase of selfhood hold the burden of imperishability? No, my friends. This classroom will continue, while each is willing to put one’s self to the task to offer falsehood after falsehood and trouble upon woe, in addition to all joyful things; for, the suitcase you carry is a suitcase full of your masks, but you are not in the suitcase. You simply carry about in this classroom a collection of personas, of masks, of behaviors that have seemed helpful and hopeful in past choices.
When one enters the first grade, one expects to have some difficulty learning the alphabet, the handwriting, the simple mathematics of your childhood days. It is, within the scholastic system of your peoples, recognized that as each entity moves towards the study leading to the getting of a diploma indicating a skill in study—more and more complex, difficult, challenging and interesting lessons—perhaps the graduate student cavils at the increasing difficulty at producing what seems to be excellence; yet, the graduate student does not feel betrayed because higher learning is harder than memorizing sums or the spelling of words. The incarnation, as it moves forward, sideways, in a circle or whatever model your truth tells you you’re moving, will be constantly offering puzzlement, difficulties and many, many unanswered questions. The hope of one who hopes to know the truth is simply that.
Within your third-density illusion, it seems that if one becomes wise, in just such measure will one become more comfortable; yet, true learning has as its hallmark, discomfort. Look gently at the body that bears you. Feel the points of pressure as you sit. Feel the breathing, the musculature, the saliva in the mouth, the noise in the ears, all the many, myriad sensations of this particular environment. Feel the weight of the thoughts that do not go away, even in the most interesting discussion. Feel the self wishing to delimit itself, to make boundaries, to define differences, to express uniqueness. See the uneasiness that this will cause consciousness, for, insofar as each perceives itself as unique, so does it perceive itself with distortion.
We wish to give you tools that you may use in order, more nearly, to love the Love that is you—that is all other things whatsoever that, indeed, is. You are as a small vase, perhaps beautifully made, perhaps made with some clumsiness, but a good watertight vase. You see the vase. You are the flower. You will never see yourself in flower. You will see the vase, the tending of the vase, the watering, the cleaning, the movement towards the light...
Thus, the first tool we would offer when an entity perceives discomfort and agony, is to suggest that the entity drop all known facts about the self, that the entity allow that structure, that vase, to be just that: that which holds an ineffable, singular consciousness, and holds it in common with all the creation.
You may, without spiritually defaming yourself, be critical of the vase. You may choose in this non-physical vase of which we speak, to beautify in your own unique way that vase. You may hallow and honor the privilege of being the container of self-perceived consciousness. But to know the flower that is your consciousness is not part of your choice-making experience; for, if you knew beyond any doubt that you were the flower, why would you need the vase? Why would you ever have cut this flower away from the root of all that there is? Why, but to regard not your flower—for you are blind, “inly”—but the flower that is all other entities, that is you.
Look again at all you have seen this day. Do you see the vase? Do you judge the vase? Do you notice the bloom, the flower, that which is in each face that you see? This choice-making density is intended to move as quickly as the seeker wishes through the various lessons of learning to love the flower of consciousness, and to embrace consciousness...
[Side one of tape ends.]
You are the beholder and you are beheld. When emotions run high and spiritual exhaustion is deep, you may wish that you were not this vase and you do not have to be the vase that you are. The flower is unchangeable, immutable and everlasting; and you are learning how to value that flower, not because it is you, not because it is something that you have called the Creator, not because of anything, but because that is all that there is. And in these choice-making lifetimes, you are shaping that gift to yourself that is the most beautiful receptacle for love that you may create.
Each hardship, each disappointment, each perceived difficulty is, in its own way, true. Vases crack, break, must be made again, must be scrapped and started over, must be retouched; but you are not working on love, you are working on how to honor love. Let this be your first tool when your emotional vase seems crazed and twisted and altogether out of round: know that you can throw that pot back into the wet, soft clay, take the slip cut, and re-cut and re-cut your pot anew. Line it as you will, paint it, enamel it, fire it, stud it with jewels, or be unassuming, knowing that love needs no decoration. But you are safe; these things are occurring to the vase, to the vehicle that carries the blossom of ineffable and perfect consciousness. Vases may bump together, and clang and crash and nestle in so many, many configurations. The blossom is always the blossom.
Do not fear loss, for you have only clay to lose. You are the blossom. Rest, beautiful, beautiful blossom; rest.
We are glad to continue as you wish, at a later time of working, and we are honored, as always, to be called to you for such discussion. As always, we ask that you remain within yourself, feeling the thoughts we give you, to know if they may be for you or not for you. Retain your powers of discrimination, but remember that you can only discriminate about the vessel of infinite consciousness.
We would now leave this instrument and conclude through another channel. We are those of Q’uo, and we transfer now.
I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and in light through this instrument. At this time, we would ask if we may aid any entity present by attempting to speak to those remaining queries that may have value to each. Is there a query at this time?
[new speaker] Carla
[Difficult to hear.] I would like to express a situation, if you could comment about... not without saying that I truly do wish to preserve free will. I have had a puzzle lately. My body doesn’t seem to want to work, and it’s painful. My spirit seems to be fairly heavy, and I don’t know, frankly, why I’m having all of this difficulty, unless it happens to be dealing with my life. I feel that a dream that I had recently expressed for me the reality that I’ve experienced for about seven years, of basically becoming a person again after the death of Don Elkins; and I am very interested in knowing any way in which I can use the realization that I did, indeed, die in a very literal sense, as far as my personality goes... and have been building it since... how I can use this knowledge to aid myself in being more centered and less crazy with the pain of... I would like very much to use this as a tool, and I don’t know precisely how to go about it. If there are any comments which you could make, I would greatly appreciate it.
I am Q’uo. We look upon this query with an eye that is set toward the preservation of that free will, which we see you also hold in great esteem, for the query is one which explores fundamental qualities of your incarnation, which are most valuable to the seeker when they have been discovered as a result of the personal efforts upon a continued basis. We shall speak upon some points of your query and your observations.
Your difficulty within your digestive system is one which has been echoing through your incarnation, dating from the time of the psychic greeting. Some of your years ago that was possible due to your creating an opening that, though quickly and effectively healed, provided a target of opportunity for your friend of the negative polarity. This situation is one which has continued to present you with great difficulties of the physical vehicle, and the attending concern of the mental and emotional complexes. It is a situation which we find you are attending to with all due care and respect—one which we find has continued to provide you with catalyst that suggests to you the need to place accomplishment upon a physical level above the appreciation of your beingness. For, this is a central theme, shall we say, not only of your incarnation, but of almost all entities who inhabit this illusion; for, within this illusion, it is seemingly the case that one’s mastery of manifestation and accomplishment of details is most important for the gaining of value and the storing of the wealth of this value.
The dream, as you have remembered it and utilized your understanding of it, is indeed an experience that has summarized your healing process in relation to the one known as Don, so that there is, upon that level of your experience, a completion that will free further energies for your use in whatever manner you choose to utilize these energies. The application of that message from your subconscious mind to your current abdominal distress is an area where we find that we may not tread, due to the joint desire to maintain free will.
[new speaker] Carla
Is that... [inaudible]?
I am Q’uo, and we slipped that one past this instrument for your pleasure. To conclude our remarks upon this query, we would suggest that your straightest and strongest course at this time is that course which you have followed faithfully, and that is the attempt to see and experience the love of each moment no matter what the challenge before you, to pursue the understanding of your beingness with faith, with will exercised by, as you call it, an happy heart. No entity may know the end of the story, for the future is indeed mazed to all eyes, including our own. We recommend to you that you continue this journey with the joy of the seeker who walks with the Creator in the garden of the creation, experiencing the delights of the moment and keeping the eye inwardly ever upon eternity, for all within your illusion live a life that is but fleeting no matter how the measure of your years may quantify it, and yet, live a life that is eternal in its choice of what we find you have called “the attitude”—the attitude that sees the illusion before one and feels the Creator within one. And though there may be little of understanding the illusion before one or the Creator within one, yet, there is the sure faith that the Creator may be known in all illusion, and that one is never alone or without purpose and guidance. Always are you cradled within the hands of the infinite One.
Is there another query, my sister?
[new speaker] Carla
I would like to thank you for the beauty of that answer. Yes, I have another question on another thing. I had an experience this week which I did not know precisely how to deal with. It was a situation in which I was put in a position by students who needed to have somebody to admire. Not being an admirable person or guru or teacher, people sat at my feet and I was afraid they smelled... no, they just were worshipping my feet; and nothing that I could do or say could sway these people. Now, this isn’t the problem—I know that’s their problem, not mine. My problem is, they take something from me that I don’t know how to give so that I am still comfortable. When these people leave, I am always feeling as if I have been sucked on by a vampire, and I know they don’t want to do this to me. I know they have no intention of doing it to me. I know that there is something about myself that is giving too much, and giving heedlessly, which is not at all what I intended as a teacher. If you could comment on that in any way, I would appreciate it.
I am Q’uo, and we may comment by confirming your conclusion that you are of a nature which gives without stint, in many cases giving to the point of bankrupting your own energies, for at this time and for some time as we have previously spoken, you have been in deficit. As an entity which seeks the fullest expression of love, you have little of the what we find have been called “boundaries of the self,” which are utilized by most third-density entities in an automatic holding or confining of the personal energies that may flow to another at the request of the other for assistance. You perceive requests for assistance that are both spoken and unspoken, conscious and unconscious, on the part of the entities that join you.
In the fashion in which those of whom you speak joined you in the previous week, we are not aware of a strong possibility that this central feature of your personality can be altered significantly without altering your concept of service, and are further unsure as to whether or not this would be the most efficacious choice—we correct this instrument—even if it were possible. However, leaving this choice to you, we can suggest that before you are joined by such a grouping of entities again, or before you join such a grouping of entities again, that you construct about you a sheathing of light that allows the energies of your mind/body/spirit complex to circulate freely within this field created by the sheathing, and that there is a transparency to the sheathing that allows radiance of light to be emitted, but that retains the energies for your complex as necessary to maintain mind, body and spirit at a basic or fundamental level of functioning.
This sheathing of light is created mentally, much as you create that circle about you across which no thoughtform may move, as you bring your hands from the touching position in front of your body in an arc so that they complete a circle, touching behind your body. This may be done mentally, and may be reinforced at any time that you feel that there is a significant draining of energies from you by those who call both consciously and unconsciously for that which you have to give.
Is there a further query, my sister?
[new speaker] Carla
I know precisely the prayer and the practice that you speak of, and I thank you for that. My only other question is of curiosity. There is a similarity in a part of the gospel, an alleged story about Jesus the Christ, where a woman who has had a hemorrhage for twelve years—crawling along the way—finally manages to grab Jesus’ robe, and he says, “Who is getting healed, because I perceive virtue is going out of me?” Obviously, he didn’t have his shields up either, and I just wondered if there was a similarity. It seems like there is quite a bit of similarity, and also a similar weakness, in that he wasn’t very much on limits either.
I am Q’uo, and this description of the one known as Jesus is a central feature of your personality structure, and is the feature to which we referred in our previous query, as a feature which we feel is unlikely to be altered to a great extent upon your part, due to your feeling that this is of great importance, that is, the serving without stint.
[new speaker] Carla
Thank you so much, Q’uo. I have no more questions.
I am Q’uo, and we thank you, my sister. Is there another query at this time?
[new speaker] Carla
I am Q’uo, and we are most grateful to those who sit within this circle of seeking, once again, for inviting our presence which we share as fully as is possible for us, and through this sharing do we take great joy, for it is the means by which we may be allowed to know and serve another facet of the one Creator, and thereby enrich the experience of ourselves, of the Creator, and we do hope, of those we serve as well. We shall take our leave of this group at this time, leaving each, as always, in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.