[overview] The question we will deal with this morning has to do with anger. Where does anger come from? How can we use it and how can we heal from it? There is a feeling of being out of control that people who are sensitive to other people’s feelings fear. There’s the fear of the injury that would be caused by the anger. There’s the fear of the actual feeling of the anger, the feeling of not being able to control it, that there would be some damage done. There’s the great unknown of where does it come from within ourselves. Is there a value to anger? Can we use it constructively after the anger has passed? How can we use it to heal up whatever wounds were caused before or during the anger?
I greet each of you this day in the love and in the light of the infinite Creator. We bring greetings to this group also from our brothers and sisters of Hatonn who are called to be with this group this morning and yet prefer not to speak, but simply to aid in the meditation process of those present.
You request information this morning about anger. Each in this group has given much thought to this subject and has done work in this area and there have been queries upon this subject both directed to ourselves and to the one known as Aaron who has also worked with this group in this area.
We are pleased to see that this working continues, that the interest of those present in such matters is not simply a shallow and passing interest but that answers to questions upon such subjects provoke further thought and introspection and further experience which again generates more material for thought and reflection. This is the nature of the process of knowing the self and it is this process upon which all seekers are embarked.
There may be consternation experienced by the seeker when a subject such as anger is studied in that depth of the self hitherto unknown well plumbed. The resultant knowledge is not always experienced as either pleasant or comfortable to the one who seeks, either because the information thus uncovered is judged to be of an unacceptable quality to the seeker or simply because it is unfamiliar to the seeker as being part of the self and thus the immediate response is one of rejection and judging it unacceptable.
This process of discovery of the self and of accepting the unacceptable is known to each in this group as part of the seeker’s lot. However, it is always disconcerting to discover these things close to home, shall we say, rather than dealing with perhaps the same subject in what you perceive of as an other self at what may seem to be a safer distance. The reality is that there is no distance and whether anger or any other uncomfortable or undesirable emotion is discovered in an other self or in the depths of the self is no different. It is always the self that is being explored and experienced.
We know you are [aware] of this and that it is a function of the nature of the illusion to foster such differences and indeed to aid in the learning process. For it is for the beginning seeker often far easier to deal with these matters in a manner that is perceived as being more distant and somewhat less contiguous with the self. As the seeker continues in the journey the awareness of the unity of all becomes more apparent and more felt and experienced within the life. Therefore, more and more frequently the seeker will discover directly in the self what is needed to be learned, rather than needing mirrors of other selves for this process.
Each seeker is also unique as to the biases that have been accumulated over the distillation of many lifetimes and the processes which are most helpful to each will differ. Therefore the experience of each will differ accordingly.
You wish to know about the source of anger. The source of anger or any other emotion which the service-to-others seeker may be tempted to judge as negative or unacceptable lies in the misperception of the separateness of entities. For in order to feel the emotion of anger there must needs be an object of the anger and this object is necessarily seen as being separate from the self. Therefore a very simplistic answer would be that if all things were realized in their true unified form there would be no anger for there would be no separate objects.
This is a gross oversimplification of metaphor. It would also serve to disintegrate the entire illusion in which you dwell and other emotions which are judged as positive or helpful would also be dissolved for they too require an object in order to be elicited.
However, if anger or other such disquieting emotions is the subject of discomfort at the time then we may suggest that meditations on the true nature of each, that is, the unity beyond the illusion, may be helpful in both the understanding and the dissolving of the same. The dissolving not being a process of elimination or eradication but of absorption and acceptance of the existence within the self and the other self and the acknowledgement that there is a place for this within the self that does not of necessity bring harm. It is the concentration of such matter that may be used in what is perceived to be a harmful manner.
In a similar way that a concentration of what you may view as a harmful chemical that may exist harmoniously in nature is brought into a concentrated form and as such is considered to be what your peoples would call a toxin and may then be used to bring harm to different types of entities, this is a same type of process that operates with emotions such as anger.
The uses of purposes of anger and of other such emotions may be varied according to the desire of the one experiencing them. Their primary use to the seeker is of course to foster further investigation of a knowledge of the self. The uses of the outward expression of such anger may be used also variously. So the expression of such usually takes place in a concentrated form as we spoke of. They are most often utilized by those on the negative path for they are very useful in affecting a greater separation in situations of manipulation and control. So [anger is] that which the negative path uses.
For the positive entity we would suggest that the deliberate and intentional use of such anger would be most probably realized by the positive entity to be not of a helpful nature and therefore would not be likely to be chosen as a manner of expression but more likely would occur as a spontaneous expression of that which is felt within the self in an overwhelming manner. We would suggest that the most likely cause of such a concentration and eruption of this substance, shall we say, would be the lack of awareness of its existence within the self in its more quiet and nontoxic form, shall we say, and that a greater awareness and acceptance of the existence of this emotion in its more natural and absorbed, shall we say, state would be most helpful in the work of the seeker that has concern about the possibility of the uncontrolled expression of such.
The question of control is another issue altogether and quite separate from the process of anger or other emotions. We are aware that control is one of the primary tools of the negative path. Yet to the positive seeker chaos is surely not the desired state. Therefore this is an issue also that will certainly be investigated by any who delve deep enough into the self. We would suggest that the issue for the positive seeker is not so much one of control but one of choice. That choice is only possible when there is awareness and that therefore the path to the availability of choices lies once again through the ever-deepening knowledge of the self and the subsequent awareness and acceptance of what is found in the self.
When the seeker has reached a point of awareness of, to use the current example, the anger that exists within the self and has accepted that as being a part of the self even as the various chemical components run through your various strata of rock then the seeker will have also a greater awareness of the process of concentration of these substances. These processes then may be observed and the choice will be available as to the continuation of the process and the various means of expressing the same.
You ask also about a process of cooling what damage may be caused when such an eruption may occur. The healing of each entity is again another subject which may be plumbed in depth and we shall comment but briefly at this time. Each entity serves as catalyst for the other and the process of knowing itself. When entities, especially those such as are in this group which are embarked upon the conscious efforts of knowing the self, act as catalyst upon each other the results are never, shall we say, completely unasked for. That is to say, the entity receiving the catalyst is aware of the need for such although this may not be a conscious awareness and is thus given the opportunity for greater knowledge of and acceptance of the self. This is not to attempt to foster any sense of irresponsibility but we feel no danger with that with those of this group for each here is most conscientious about such matters.
The healing process, in essence, lies with each individual. The one who feels they have caused harm have need of healing and the one who feels they have received harm have need of healing also. Ultimately each entity must do the work of healing the self. It may be possible for entities who work together in harmony to extend to the other the open heart, the understanding mind, the statement of loving intent that may facilitate such self-work in healing. But ultimately the responsibility is with the self.
The popular, shall we say, concept of healing seems to imply a reversal of whatever action has taken place so that the effect is as if it never happened. We would suggest to you that the true nature of healing is rather the process of absorption, acceptance and ingestion, shall we say, into the self of whatever concept is being offered. This dissolution and acceptance into the self then is the nature of the process of healing rather than the eradication of the perceived harm. We realize this concept is somewhat at variance with those concepts commonly held within your society and would suggest that each look within the self for the verification of such, as always.
We urge each to take from our words only that which rings true to the self and to set aside all else, perhaps for another time, perhaps never. We would at this time transfer the contact to the one known as Jim and will be happy to continue with any further questions upon this subject or any other. We thank this instrument and this group and leave this instrument now in love and light. We are those of Q’uo.
I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and in light. At this time we would ask if we may further speak upon any topic if there is a query yet remaining upon the mind.
[new speaker] Questioner
First of all, thank you. There is an aspect that especially interests me because I’m used to being very honest, even to the point of bluntness and I discovered that when the anger hit me that I had two choices, either to sulk and pout and be silent and repress it. I mean I couldn’t keep it in check. There was no way I could do that [inaudible] but I wanted to say things because I wanted to express my opinion on it. I wanted to hurt somebody else. It’s a real foreign feeling for me. And there was nothing true that I could say that would do this for me so the only thing that I could do was to think things that I virtually knew at the time were untrue and I played the victim but it was a means of taking this thing that felt like a real poison and getting it out of my system. When the communication is definitely not going to be true in terms of the [inaudible] it seems like it’s better to say false things than to say nothing and let it go on longer. What is the best way not to tell the truth if you don’t have any choices but to tell a falsehood if you’re angry because whatever your trying [inaudible] true. Is that still better? It seems to be still better than being silent and sulking and not being able to [inaudible]. But why is there a need to say lying hurtful things when the anger is there? Why doesn’t the truth, which is just that a person’s upset, why doesn’t that satisfy the [inaudible]?
I am Q’uo, and are aware of your query, my sister. The emotions that culminated in the expression of anger for you yesterday are emotions that have taken some time to find their fullest flower, shall we say. It was not just the experience of just a moment but the experience of a lifetime of feeling that you had been abandoned and that there was no other entity that could give you the comfort that you sought.
When one feels emotions that are of such a deep nature and which have been worked upon in a conscious fashion for a significant portion of the incarnation and when there is a trigger that is seemingly unrelated it is well to go, shall we say, with the flow of the emotions and to speak in a spontaneous fashion so that whether what is said makes sense or not, it is said with the true feelings that generate the words. This allows a beginning, an entry, into the deeper emotions which are more to the point or the heart of the experience.
It is well of course in such situations that one have at one’s disposal or at one’s service an other self which is willing to work with the self in this matter. The great fear of each of your experiences of anger is that there will be a further enraging of the experience, not only for the self but for the other self, and a further confusing of the catalyst that has brought the both of you together in this culmination of emotion. It is very, very helpful to be able to express freely to another self that which is upon the mind or of one’s heart, shall we say, and to explore the ramifications. For in almost every instance your conversation and thought processes proceed upon a symbolic or surface level so that what is really the genesis of the feelings may be hidden both to the one who speaks and to the one who listens. This is the great value of communication and dedication: perseverance of communication.
This will allow you to uncover other areas of your experience that are more fundamental that have been sown with a certain seed that has not been fully exposed to the light of the sun that it might grow in a natural way and produce a fruit that is obvious and easy to appreciate. The emotions that are deeper and which are often the true cause of an outburst of anger are those seeds which have not received the full light of the sun, the full light of one’s conscious attention and recognition of the kind of seed that has been planted. Who has planted the seed and who has tended the seed as the gardener? Thus, we do not recommend the repressing any emotional experience, even that of anger unless the entity with whom one is expressing these energies is, because of being a stranger or being too young to understand, unable to partake in the experience without suffering on its part great confusion or misapprehension of a gross nature.
We find that the experience of the anger is fortunately in this case that which is experienced with those that are more closely known to and aligned with the self as the self and other selves seek to relate in a manner which is intimate and compassionate and is so on a stable basis. Thus, we would recommend that the spontaneous expression of all emotions is that which is most helpful in what you call the long run so that these expressions of emotion become the point at which you begin to delve more deeply into the experience with an other self that is compassionate and understanding concerning your needs and your fears.
Is there a further query my sister?
[new speaker] Questioner
[Inaudible]. Would doing something like saying, “I know these are all lies,” [inaudible].
I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. We find that in your illusion it is difficult in the great coloration of emotion called anger to operate at such a rational level as to be able to discern that which is true and that which is not true in the moment that the anger is experienced. Or if one were able to do this, the great energy of the anger would be blunted insofar as the realization of what was being said was untrue. Whether what is felt and said is true or not is relatively unimportant in the moment of the expression of the anger. It is well to express that which is, shall we say, on the tip of the tongue and that which wishes to rush from the mouth and from the heart. Then the process of sorting and evaluation may begin by looking at all that was said, even those areas of expression which one later determines to be untrue. For that moment of anger in that particular experience may yet hold some value for the self as one relates these speakings to earlier experiences or other experiences within the incarnation, so that there may be a kind of following of a trail of that which was spoken so that there might be a possibility of gaining greater understanding as this trail is followed and discussed and shared in open fashion with the other self.
Is there another query, my sister?
[new speaker] Questioner
No, I really thank you [inaudible].
I am Q’uo, and we also thank you, my sister, for your query and for your dedication. Is there another query at this time?
[No further queries.]
I am Q’uo, and we are once again most grateful for your invitation to us to join your group and to work with the instruments that are present. We find that the one known as K is becoming more flexible in her ability to receive and to transmit our thoughts, doing so in a manner which suggests that the confidence in this process is building even upon the subconscious levels in spite of any conscious doubts. This is due to the basic trust in...