[overview] Question from T: I would like to receive information about the awakening and unfolding metamorphoses of self and its effects on myself and my family. How may one avoid trauma to one’s family who may hold other views and to oneself as one tries to uphold the continuing duties and responsibilities of material life?
We are those known to you as the principle of Q’uo, and we greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator, in Whose name we come to you this day and in Whose power and peace we serve. We thank the one known as T for calling us to this circle of seeking this day and we thank those who sit in this circle in his name and for his service.
It is a great privilege to speak with each of you and we would simply ask, as always, that you clear the way for us to feel completely free of any constraints concerned with the free will of any of you by guarding your own integrity and your powers of discrimination so that any thought which we offer that you take in be taken in quite consciously and with the knowledge that we are fallible beings such as yourselves, pilgrims along a very long path. We are perhaps a step or two ahead of you, but many steps away from becoming one once again with the infinite Creator. We all are part of that circle, that great Celtic knot of evolution that begins and ends in the mystery and unity of the one infinite Creator.
This day there is a query concerning the shape of change in a person’s life and how that shape can be experienced, not only be the self but by those about the self, with a minimum of difficulty and with an absence of trauma. My brother, were we the wisest of all advice givers, we would not have the solution to coming through transformation without suffering. And although we cannot say that any of your own processes properly can be considered to be the cause of trauma to others, we may also say that insofar as entities are unskilled at gazing in the mirrors which such change projects from your process into others, that too is a process that is likely not to be trouble-free or smooth. Certainly we can share some thoughts with you concerning how to visualize and work with these very laudable and appropriate desires to minimize the difficulty and trauma for the self and for other selves in the process of initiation. Yet at the same time, we wish to begin by stating firmly that we do not know a way for entities to move the way they think and their point of view from one system to another without creating considerable perceived chaos and pain. It is well to take this in and to realize the cost of transformation. It is always costly to attempt to stand closer to the light. It is always expensive to gain insight. It is always dislocating to widen one’s point of view.
Now, with that said, let us turn to a more positive tack and sail our little boat of thought and words into the wind of change and see what we can find to suggest to you as you set your direction and work with the ocean upon which you now sail to bring you as handily as possible into the next port, and the next, and the next. Know always that you are in an archipelago rather than a deep, uninhabited ocean when you are working with yourself and helping yourself cooperate with your destiny. You are not alone for long. There is always a place to stop and provender yourself, make sure of your direction and check your bearings, your equipment, and your own self for wellness and for trimness.
First, let us look at this little barque that you sail at this time. Its sails have been the rising, the yearning of your own soul and heart for truth. Not for change in and of itself, but simply for a higher way, for a truer path. And when this kind of dedication of self is made, the door opens, the questions are asked, and the answers come pouring in. What is in your little boat? You have the sail of your desire and this is well set. What have you stashed in the hold for yourself? Have you kept for yourself a game or two, a chessboard, draughts, a deck of cards, something to pass the time, something to rest with, something light and meaningless? Have you packed some fun? Have you packed a box of taking things lightly? That would be good to pack away. If you have not done so, find yourself the pastimes that truly rest your mind and help your heart to stop racing, and keep them aboard. For there are times when only waiting will work and only unknowing will be the fruitful attitude. And in those times, it is well not to brood; it is well not to think too much; it is well to take things lightly and know that all is well and that there is time simply to have fun. If the fun is music, be sure and play it; if the fun is walking out of doors or working in the garden, be sure and pack that in, be sure and have that with you. This is a great tool to have when one is going through a process of intense change.
Have you packed sufficient inspiration for your journey? There are times when silence itself becomes too wearying and too intense. It is very helpful to have chosen a few written-down things that you may pick up and read, things that you may count on to give you food. In a metaphysical voyage, the food is ideas. Your food will be concepts that enable you to rest or to become restless but asking, and looking, and seeing a bit further.
Have you packed sufficient humility? There is a good deal of that needed on long voyages such as you have undertaken. In a way, the choice to seek is, in itself, prideful, or so it may seem from one point of view. It is a coming into oneself in such a bold and complete way that it startles and sometimes frightens the self or other selves who gaze upon such a one. And the thought is, perhaps, that such a bold move is not called for, is not necessary. It is impossible to explain to another self why must one set out upon metaphysical voyages. The self cannot even be explained to, if there are inner voices in the self that create resistance within the inner workings of the self. There may be a voice within the one known as T that is still saying, “You are not worthy of making such a bold and drastic change. You do not deserve to release the shoreline of previous ideas and to set forward in search of a new truth that is more all-encompassing, that seems to have more integrity.” True humility, however, is that which allows all of the voices of oneself and of other selves to speak their piece to you without the need to defend. What is there to defend, after all? A sailor must set sail. Stays he upon land, he shall drown in the dry dirt. A sailor must take to the water, whatever the voyage, when it is called, when it is time. He simply has to set sail. That is the way with spiritual evolution for most people: when it comes, it is as the wake-up call and there is no going back to sleep. And so the sailor rigs out his boat, sets sail, and just hopes for the best. This is appropriate.
This is not a prideful act. The only prideful act connected with moving through transformation is the act of attempting to defend or justify to the self or to another self the reasons or the rightness of such a voyage. We do not say that there is no possibility of the one known as T choosing wrongly. We simply say that when there is the call for movement, there is no avoiding movement. It might be done awkwardly or smoothly; it might be done slowly or more quickly; it might be done with great joy or in great trepidation. But when the movement has come from the inside out, as the one known as T has expressed, then one is simply forced to sail, for better or for worse.
We ask the one known as T, therefore, to pack sufficient humility that he may rest from blame and rest from avenging those who would blame. It is perfectly understandable for inner voices and for outer voices to object to change. Change will always be uncomfortable. The status quo will always seem more comfortable, more sensible, more sane. It is to those who have been inspired in a certain way that the courage to enter into that zone of discomfort is given. Pack much of this humility, and along with it, my brother, pack much patience. Indeed, put a whole locker full of patience in. For your journey is not only a long journey, your journey is an everlasting journey, one that you have been on all the while and only at a certain point became aware of.
At the point at which you became aware, you also became able to affect the rate of change of your spiritual evolution. You became able to decide consciously to accelerate the pace of this change, to lean into the wind by asking, by seeking, by looking. Those things are as the powers that raise the winds in metaphysical waters: every focus of meditation, every focus of visualization, every focus of affirmation, and every moment of disciplining the personality, bring up the wind. And as you have set your sail by your desire, so the wind moves you in such and such a way. Consequently, check your desire, check the alignment of your sail, if you will, and see that it is working with the wind. When you get into port and have a moment, sit in silence and check, shall we say, in inner dry dock, the health of your vehicle. Are you creating wellness in your body? Are you creating enough rest for your emotional body? Are you creating enough lack of tension, enough balance between motion and stillness, seeking and resting, wisdom and love, attention paid to the self and attention paid to the milieu about one? This is what we would share with you upon working with yourself.
We come to a more difficult part of your question when we begin to look at the other selves about you. It is rare, indeed, on such a voyage, that one is able to take other selves with him. Most general is the case that you experience, where other selves that are dearly beloved to you and are part of your family are not able to take this voyage with you but must remain upon the shore which you have left. This simple separation of attitude and the direction of hopes for the future between mates and between family members has the strong and understandable tendency to create strife and discomfort on both the side of the self and the sides of other selves involved. Even if there are no hard feelings, the dislocation is felt and it must be dealt with by the other selves about you.
Certainly there are many things that you can do to lessen the apparent impact of your voyage. For your voyage is inner. It is not necessary for you to change your geographical location. It is not necessary for you to change the way that you earn money or the way that you participate in your community in order to sail far, far away in terms of the inner voyage of a self seeking the truth. However, as the voyage continues and as the sea miles pile up and the life experiences of these inner voyages begin to accumulate, there is an increasing distance in point of view from the old self. Those other selves who were fond of the old self and who miss the old self will begin missing that old self more and more.
It is rare to find mates, especially, but other selves in general, that are able to lift away from previously assumed knowledge of a person and replace that knowledge with the knowledge of the brand-new fledgling entity that is beginning to show himself. Certainly some are able to do it but for most—and for the one known as T—he will find that it is very difficult for those about him to embrace the changes that have already taken place and to embrace the continuing desire for further change. And so it is as though the other selves are acting as a drag upon the system, wanting always to regain what they consider to be lost ground, and being completely unable to do so because of the nature of metaphysical change. It is like a chemical reaction: it cannot reverse itself. Once started, it must play itself out. And, unfortunately for the peace of mind of those about the one known as T, this means that, insofar as this creates catalyst for those about the one known as T, they also will need to move through the processes of dealing with and finding ways to balance the perceived reality of these changes.
It is very helpful in such a case for the entity who is changing to refrain from attempting to explain or justify his journey, and indeed to refrain from speaking, unless asked, of the journey itself. It is very helpful to remember that beneath all of the chances and changes of living, the self is as a serene and unchanging stream, changing in surface ways, certainly, as things flow through, but unchanging in the sense of being a citizen of eternity with a certain vibratory nexus that is the pure essence of who you are. That vibration may change a very small bit because of hard work done throughout an incarnation, but you are truly an eternal being, and the magical energy of yourself is only partially brought into incarnation. It is connected through the silver cord into that well of self from which you came and in which you have tremendous power, wisdom and awareness. This is who you are, only seen through a cloud within incarnation. It is the quest of an entire incarnation simply to penetrate one’s own personality shell so that one is able more and more to rest in the fuller expression of self that this instrument would call Christ consciousness. This is your essence. This is the kind of creature that you are. This is the facet of the Creator which you express.
What a blessing it is to be able to rest back in the essence of who you are. Rest in that essence as much as you can with your family. Stay at the soul level with them, relating to them as wonderful, unique sparks of the Creator, just as are you. So much is veiled, so much is unknown, and yet you can always love, you can always console, you can always lift up and support and encourage and offer hope. You can refuse to shut down, you can refuse to stop being vulnerable, you can refuse to close your heart against anyone or anything. You can endure whatever pain will help those about you as you listen to them express their difficulties and as you work endlessly and patiently, insofar as you can see a way to help them through what they are experiencing as they experience the catalyst of your change.
Be aware that what they say to you is a projection of what about themselves has the ability to confuse them. Each entity will react to what you are going through not in terms of you or anything to do with your journey but in terms of themselves and their own processes. Entities, for all that they think that they are working with other people, for the most part never get beyond their own heads. You will constantly be working to get outside of your own limitations into the broader vistas of a wider perspective. You cannot do this for others. What you can do with and for them is to be yourself, to stay as cheerful and positive as possible, to find patience where no patience seems to be and to find forgiveness for what seem to be unfair or unjust slings and arrows. This instrument has often said that it is a blessing when entities are unfair and unjust because it gives the self a perfect chance to work with that catalyst and to see that nothing needs to be taken personally and that all things are subject for prayer. When you can perceive no other way to serve your family, then remove yourself, sit in silence, and pray for their good, for their improvement of mind, for their healing of spirit, giving thanks, always, for every harsh word, every misunderstanding, every injustice, knowing that these are the things that refine one in the fire. These are the tempering agents that make one strong but flexible.
This instrument was talking to one of those within this circle earlier about the reason for continued tempering and continued testing in the fire. “Why,” this instrument was asked, “would that be necessary on a continuing basis? What is the purpose for such a sharp edge when the desire is to love and to bring love to the planet?” And we say to this one, to this instrument and to the one known as T that the continued tempering is that which brings one into the present moment. It is not yesterday’s tempering that will keep one flexible in the catalyst of the day. As each lesson is learned, a new vista opens and when the student is eager, those new vistas demand further tempering, further work, further catalyst, further opportunities for learning. Why is there no end to it? For the same reason that there is no end to spirit. When there is oneness, there is infinity. There are no markers, there are no stops, there are no categories, and that infinity becomes that great Celtic knot that moves from Creator to Creator with an octave of learning between.
It is a long, long road. It is a road that also is awash with joy and that is an experience that the one known as T has come into time and again, that sun-washed, light-filled experience of bliss and joy in the knowledge that one is in the right place, at the right time, and on the right journey. Bless and remember those times. That act of remembrance will be very helpful, and especially when one may be downhearted. Because one does see that one cannot make the proverbial omelet without breaking the eggs.
It is very helpful to remember that this experience is surrounded by supernal and infinite life. It is a blessed journey and even the pain of those about you is a blessing as you work in humility with the awareness of yourself as part of a pattern over which you have no control. Your only control is the choice to love and that choice of loving is endlessly subtle and always in the present moment.
At this time we would pause, for there are two questions this day. May we ask for the second question from T. We are those of Q’uo.
[new speaker] T
In this age of materialism, it seems our children often suffer greatly from a feeling of inadequacy and poor self-worth as they constantly compare themselves to the symbols of materialism. I would like to receive information on how parents of young children can best assist and guide the children in remembering and awakening to who they really are as they mature in this age of transition where materialism still has a strong influence.
We are those of Q’uo, and we are aware of your query, my brother. What a good query we find this! It is most appropriate to consider the raising of your young beings for, at this time, not only your being [and] those whom you have welcomed into your home and family, but also virtually all those coming into the world through incarnation’s door as new to it are those who have, to some extent, opened their fourth-density bodies and so, are beings that are quite different than those who have come into incarnation with only the yellow-ray activated body. When a person has a dual-activated body, certain things have changed for this entity. It may not be that these changes are consciously known by those who may be called Indigo Children, for a general term, but these changes are there. They include a thinner veiling, so that it is easier to remember preincarnative data, the ability to access psychic gifts largely because of the lighter veiling, the tendency to be impatient with third-density structures, especially those that seem to stand in their way, and some difficulty in cooperating with the strictures that make the least sense to them. Indeed, in some part, these have always been the characteristics of youth, but when there is a memory that is closer to the surface of a higher way and when the culture is mired in teachings that are directly counter to those sensings and half memories, it becomes fiendishly difficult for entities to make sense of their surroundings.
It may be considered unfortunate by the one known as T that such children do not come into incarnation equipped with what might be called maturity or common sense. Such children are children. They do not have an instinct for maturity. They do not have an instinct for right behavior. They are, as [are] all of the very young, self-involved, ever-questing, ever-impatient, and very inquisitive of knowledge, of ideas, of ways to be, of masks of all kinds. They are experimenters looking for ways to express that feel right to them. They are tremendously influenced by what is going on about them. And this is not simply the parents and the family but also contains the world of school and peers and the fads of a culture. If you add in the mass media and the tremendous amount of propaganda of mind-entraining material that exists within the programs and the commercials of television, the sum becomes a huge and unmanageable bundle of strictly third-density input for such children. There is nothing that the parents can do about this except keep them home, turn off the television set, and studiously home school. Some have put a great deal of time aside and actually done this. And yet those children will move out into the world of peers and fads and mass media because it is there in such abundant quantity. Consequently, we do not recommend such withdrawal from the society at large. We recommend, rather, some of that endless patience that you have taken with you on the journey. For you shall, as a parent, need to deal with situations one, by one, by one; and we are talking of hundreds and thousands and millions of situations in twenty years of raising a child. And in each of these situations, you will need to be creative and listen and find ways to offer positive suggestion and positive counsel when what you would really like to do is tear down structures that you feel are harmful for your children.
We recommend, most of all, that you yourself live in a way that you may endlessly explain and defend. This is painstaking work. If you would like them not to watch television, turn yours off, not once but as a habit. If you would like them to respect the rights of others, be sure that your converse and your comments constantly express the deepest love that you can find for every entity and every situation. Whatever it is that you are hoping for your children, rather than telling them, sit in counsel with yourself until you can find ways to live the life that you wish to embody for them. Be a living example to them, not by what you say, alone, but by how you are, by how you live your day. Do you, for instance, make a point of spending time with yourself and the Creator in silence, every day? If your children see you living a religiously or spiritually oriented life, they will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that is of value to you and because you loom large in their small lives, that will have every reason to be considered as a value to them.
You may ask yourself, too, if you spend time with them where you do nothing but listen to them. If you can spend just a bit of time...
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...finding out what their process has been like this day, what their walk has led them to see and think about, what their dreams have told them, not with any view to commenting or improving upon their thoughts but simply to knowing them, they will feel worthy in a way that you cannot create by any other means. If you think that their small affairs are important, so will they know that they have a right to be and that what they do is worthwhile. These things cannot be taught. They have to be picked up from the attitude with which people hold them. As a parent you have tremendous ability to give them this kind of nourishment of self. As they talk themselves over with you, they begin to get their own bearings and the feeling that they have their own reality and their own process. As you give them credit for being people, even at a very young age, they are able to begin to grasp more of this double-activated nature. As you live a loving, radiant life, you are basically living in the fourth-density energy for which they so hunger since they are prepared to take it in and since your surface environment is so lacking in fuller light. See what you can do to be an unconscious but ever-present radiance in their life.
Again, it is nothing that you say that will mean as much in teaching children as how you are. How do you treat everything and everyone about you? How do you think of that world about you? In what way do you discuss the issues to which entities with double-activated bodies would be so sensitive? Damage to the environment, damage to other selves, lack of human rights, injustice and unfairness: these things will nag like thorns at a double-activated child. Do what you can to discover for yourself ways to talk about these shortcomings that can be perceived in outer society in such a way that hope is found and positive movement on a personal level is discussed. Never let children become cynical if you can possibly help it. And yet, at the same time, encourage good, straight, hard looks by these young children at what seem to you to be perhaps too adult areas or issues of consideration. For these children, things happen quickly. Ideas develop quickly, questions come up quickly. Expect this process to occur, when it does, with some speed and just see what you can do to maintain your own humor, patience and humility. You are not an authority figure to a double-activated entity, you are an advisor. You are, if you have been careful, considered to be a good one and you will be listened to, for there are deep threads of honor and respect that run through a double-activated child.
They can easily be distorted by disappointment and the typical disappointed, double-activated Indigo child can be a tough cookie. So we would just offer you the encouragement to stay within your own integrity, offer what encouragement that you can, and by all means do not assume that your child, being double-activated, has no need of guidance. Such children, like any children, do need persistent and firm limits. We simply say, make those limits loving, understandable, simple and then be willing to explain them, to stand by them, and to take insults and disagreement when it is inconvenient for other selves to observe those boundaries. Do not let that faze you, but keep the boundaries that you feel are important, not combatively but persistently, quietly and firmly.
Above all, find ways to express your own belief system in the tiny things of everyday. This way there is no preaching involved. There is no discussion of dogma or the lack of same, but only the expression in everyday life at the smallest level of thoughtfulness, desire to help the family system, and those other values that feed into a harmonious and loving family life. If you have not investigated fully the joys of doing laundry, scrubbing the toilet bowl, doing the dishes, or any of the other thousand and one things that a household takes to keep going, dig into it and investigate to the best of your ability all of the above and anything else that you can see that will help the family move more smoothly through the day. When entities are not afraid of cleaning a toilet with great love and great thoroughness and a delight in the result, then the entities around him can begin to see that all things are holy and that there is no unjust labor, or work to be scorned. In living a spiritually oriented life, this is a key concept and it cannot be gotten at with words. Those about you must see you participating in every way. This will enable them to find that same perspective within themselves gradually becoming more and more understandable.
Most of all, my brother, see to your own self. In the midst of all this concern for others, remember that you must tend to your own stability, wellness of mind, heart, body and soul, your own financial wellness, your own staying beforehand with the requirements of the world. What does it take to keep you grounded and balanced and ready for the new day? In most cases, there is that need for daily meditation, daily contemplation, a time that is sacred to oneself, a time spent in the temple of the inner heart, resting with the one infinite Creator. If you have to get up early, my brother, to do this, then set your alarm and give yourself a half hour to stare at a candle, to think over the day ahead, to make to-do lists, to do whatever it serves you to do to rise from your night ready for a new day, seeing into a new land filled with infinite possibility.
It has been a delight and a privilege to speak with you this day, my brother. And we thank those in the support group who have made this session of seeking possible. We are those of Q’uo, and we leave you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai. Adonai.