[overview] About parenting and discipline in particular. Question asked by C. Focus upon the proper relationship of the parent to the child and how best to establish that relationship.
I am Q’uo. I greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. It is a great privilege for me and my brother Hatonn to be with you this evening. Hatonn has been called to strengthen the meditative vibrations of those present, while we have been called to share our thoughts with you upon the subject upon how best to come into relationship with those young selves which have been entrusted to your care. Indeed, it is far more appropriate to speak of not only the actions of the parents to the children, but those intentions the children have towards the parent. We shall explain this.
Those who become parents are entities like any other, and those who become children are entities like any other, yet each is unique as only a self-conscious, self-aware entity can be. Indeed, each of you has chosen those entities whom you wish to teach or be taught by, and indeed these roles move back and forth throughout the relationship of parent and child.
Firstly, we shall gaze at the cultural and physical situation in which the young self is unable by itself to support the self with food and shelter and to learn those things which its culture requires that it learn before it may become a productive, grown entity within that culture. Thus, it is a basic and necessary duty and honor which each parent feels in feeding and clothing those young selves with whom it has come into relationship by birth in teaching those things which are asked in fulfilling the curiosity that questions and questions, insofar as it is possible. This is the nurturing and domestic, shall we say, portion of the relationship betwixt the parent and the child, or to put it a more clear way, a somewhat more experienced soul within this illusion and the soul with small experience within this illusion.
It is to be realized that each soul which comes into manifestation within this illusion of Earth is already an old soul, having had many experiences in lives past, and having developed from those experiences certain biases, beliefs, characteristics and behaviors which are not taught within the present incarnation, but which are brought to the incarnation. These biases are those which it is desired by both the parent and the young soul to be those things which shall be worked upon and learned from within this life experience. Therefore, it is for both parent and child to realize that when situations become complex and disturbing, parent may help child and child may help parent by linking their wills together and taking the backward step to ask the question, “What do we wish from each other? How are we trying to teach each other?”
As the parent goes about your culture’s rather complex business of creating the means whereby to purchase those things which are necessary within your culture for survival and comfort, the entity may perhaps become overly concerned with those things of the material world, for it is always seemingly difficult to, as you say, make the ends meet. By being concerned with these things, the parent is teaching the child the nature of the need for money, the need for power, the need for self-aggrandizement within the illusion. These lessons are helpful within the framework of the mundane world.
However, it is well that the parent also be concerned enough about itself and about its responsibility to that young self which has come into relationship with it to create and maintain a daily, loving, persistent and genuine search for that spiritual truth which cannot be found in the hustle and bustle of the busy world of the market place and your televisions. For children, as you call these souls with small experience, learn that which is offered to them, and will learn gladly from the television. We do not say there is anything inimical to a child’s growth in this pursuit, we only suggest that if the child does not see the parents engaged in earnest and sincere and persistent spiritual seeking, the child shall be vulnerable to any charismatic entity teaching whatever distortion of the laws of love and service in whatever highly distorted manner.
In short, the key to the relationship of the more experienced soul and the less experienced soul within this illusion is a recognition of the fact that the lesser experienced soul shall learn from imitation, and though talk may aid to some extent, the actions are always the key to what the less experienced soul shall learn from the parent.
You ask about the best ways to discipline a child. This is a somewhat difficult subject upon which to speak, for we find in higher densities that the vibrations affecting and radiating from the self are such that the entity disciplines the self, no matter how young. If a young entity feels in a state of alienation and wishes to strike out, that individual will find itself in an environment which allows it to do just such things in an harmless manner and for as long as it wishes.
With higher density’s more relaxed and capacious time dimensions, it is acceptable to allow a young soul to play and avoid learning what needs to be learned, for whatever time it may take for that entity to become curious, fascinated, hungry for knowledge. At that time the small entity moves to a teacher, asking to learn. The teacher teaches and would be considered a hard taskmaster. But because the pupil is ready now to learn by its own decision, this difficulty of study and learning is accepted by the student itself. Not all young entities desire to learn the same things. And thus the concept of the school to us is a concept of teachers which wait the desire of the young entity to learn. Each learning shall be different. Each entity is accepted as different.
And now we come to you, parents and children of third-density illusion. Your culture believes most thoroughly in the numbers. It assumes that all those that have been upon your planet for six trips about your sun are ready, willing and eager to learn that which is taught in first grade. And so forth, through each year, each grade, and often each mismatch of student and teacher. The regimentation of the schooling creates a great difficulty for the young soul, for the young soul knows that true knowledge is not boring, but exciting, and will learn fast and eagerly and with joy when subjects arise in which that young soul has an interest. Yet, with a sigh, the young soul must put that idea apart and away, for your culture’s schooling is regimented. Thus, a large portion of the young soul’s experience throughout what is known as childhood is a highly regimented scholastic situation in which all are required to learn bodies of information which may fascinate one and leave another completely indifferent.
Now let us look at the question of discipline. The keynote to discipline between parent and child or elder soul and younger soul is that the elder soul shall not take away the worth of the younger, but express only those corrections which may normalize, one might say, that younger soul’s relationship to the culture in which it must live after it grows into a more elderly status. Often elder and younger souls of the same family are placed together to continue working upon the question of how to love, how truly to love, for this entire illusion is designed as an environment in which people go about that one learning activity from their earliest remembrances until, at long last in the fullness of age, that soul shuts its eyes and departs this small shadow of life. Many of those things which the young soul may do which seem mischievous are those expressions which indicate the young soul’s inability to express the pain through which it is going. And many of the punishments offered by those older souls called parents are ways of expressing the frustration and pain of knowing no way to aid the younger soul. Thusly, each soul is in distress and each has closed itself from communication, for it feels it cannot communicate.
One very positive way of communicating those behaviors which are acceptable in that which is called your society to a young soul is to behave as the older soul in the way in which the teaching would point that the parent is doing. Thusly, the young soul learns from imitation. There are many occasions when the young soul cannot at first see the wisdom of one or another behavior that has been chosen by the culture to be appropriate rather than another. These public behaviors are often appropriate simply to allow others which share that public space their own measure of quiet and relaxation. Thusly, within the social situation the discussion may be had prior to the public outing that certain behaviors are appropriate within the culture within which both souls live. This does not make behaviors right or wrong in any fundamental sense, but rather behavior of certain kind appropriate. The discipline for a younger soul which begins acting in an inappropriate manner for being within the public society would be to remove the self and the beloved younger soul from the public environment so that it is clear that there are some behaviors which cannot be acceptable within the public experience.
Similarly, there are those behaviors in dealing with others within the family which are appropriate in that they cause the family of souls which care for each other to become uncomfortable and strained, jarring and unhappy. The young soul, which at first is rebellious, may perhaps be allowed its point of view, spoken, listened to and understood by the elder entity. Yet then, if the parent considers that the young soul under his tutelage is acting in ways which are not appropriate for dealing with other selves, then it is that these behaviors must be changed by means of the explanation of inappropriateness or the simple removal of the young soul from the immediate environment of the distress which has been caused. It is to be realized that in any interaction of this kind, the discipline must needs be honest, sincere and compassionate, for though a child’s soul is young in this illusion, it is the equal of any, and recognizes clearly any half truth or slanted or biased way of expressing thought.
As we gaze upon your culture and at the shifting, changing, turbulent relationships betwixt what you might call adult souls within your culture, we find it an expectable characteristic that those young souls which must come into this culture of uncertainty and materialistic eagerness to acquire things should be aggressive and disturbing in [their] behavior. Thus, after the process of living has been going on for the young soul for ten years, shall we say, we find that within your highly mobile...
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...culture the effect is that of, perhaps, twice that much of your time, nay perhaps more than that, in terms of the experience of a vicarious nature which the young soul has accumulated through the watching of information sources such as your television, the listening to your radio devices and your tape machines.
Perhaps to sum up our encouragement of the parent who wishes to know about discipline, we should suggest, number one, that they would live as they would suggest their children to live; number two, that they be honest in their dealings with those souls given into their care, meaning what they say and saying what they mean. And thirdly, when discipline is to be accomplished, allow that discipline to be such a one as may perhaps sting the pride of the young soul in a private way, but not in such a way that others might know that this soul is being disciplined, and that by this much loved parent.
Thus, we move the focus of discipline of children into two areas. Firstly, the arena of the parent, in which the parent is encouraged to think deeply about stressing the spiritual, the just, and the lovely, and second, the arena of the child, in which the child may learn to trust the honesty of the parent and may learn by imitation those things which are to be learned. We know that parents and children and all entities whatever shall fall and clamber up again many times. Mistakes are made upon top of mistakes, yet there is one deep and fathomless thing which binds parent to child, and that is love, for the parent cannot help but love the child, nor can the child help but love the parent. Let this love be communicated. Let this love be celebrated. Never let this love be taken for granted. Love each other, for you are both pilgrims upon the road, parent and child. The parent must do a good deal of guiding, suggesting and, yes, disciplining, for the best road to learn has its limits, its right side and its left side, and beyond that road lie desolate deserts of experience which are not helpful in the sense of learning of love.
My friends, we know that in an environment where alienation between all peoples is so common, we may sound impossibly idealistic, but we say to you that if a parent can trust a child, if a parent can keep its word to a child, both in good and in bad, if a parent may respect the young soul, the young soul shall reflect and imitate this behavior.
May you love each other. May you feel the harmony of the plans you have made together. May you trust even in hard times that this is part of the outworking of an harmonious plan, at the end of which you shall know more about how to love, the greatest lesson that this density has to teach.
At this time we would transfer this contact to the one known as Jim. I am Q’uo.
I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and light through this instrument. At this time it is our privilege to offer ourselves in the attempt to speak to any further queries which those present may have for us. Again we remind each that we give that which is our opinion, and we offer it joyfully and freely, asking that any words that do not ring true be left behind without a second thought. Is there a query to which we may speak?
[new speaker] C
Not a question, but a statement. The question that I did have has been well answered in your message tonight. It has shown me reinforcing things that I knew but did not implement, so I want to say thank you for your words.
I am Q’uo, and, my brother, we thank you, for without such queries we would have no means of being of service that would speak as directly to the heart of the needs. Is there a further query at this time?
[new speaker] Carla
I have been feeling uneasy about the possibility of channeling with only two people in the group, and I got a telephone call from a sister whom I believe to be on the watchtower, praying for me constantly. She felt that there was some negative influence that had become alerted to our presence for some reason. And I wondered if you could comment on the practice of two entities tuning, challenging and channeling with only two present?
I am Q’uo, and we feel that it is not a practice which is generally recommended, for there are, as you are aware, those who would wish to cause mischief in such a setting where the protective wall of light has not been added unto a sufficient manner. However, there are instances of entities who are so harmoniously prepared to work in tandem that this difficulty does not necessarily hold sway. We therefore can give only a limited recommendation to such efforts and can further suggest that if this be found to be necessary, that those presently partaking in such efforts redouble the desire to be of service through such vocal channeling and find the most clear and purified tuning together and within that is possible to achieve, in order that the desire to serve might be reflected not only in the protection, but in the inner preparation that allows such contact to occur. We are aware that those who presently partake in this activity are unable to fully grasp the means by which the protection is offered in any such gathering, and are therefore somewhat concerned that this means of carrying out such service be done in a manner which is stable and secured, and we commend the diligence that requires this question to be asked.
May we speak in any further fashion, my sister?
[new speaker] Carla
No, thank you.
I am Q’uo and we thank you, my sister. Is there another query?
I am Q’uo, and it appears that we have exhausted the queries for this evening. We would thank each for inviting our presence, and especially greet and thank the one known as A for allowing our presence and for being a part of this circle of seeking this evening. It has been our great privilege and honor to speak to each, and we shall be with you upon your mental requests in the future to aid your meditations and to speak when asked upon those topics that have meaning to you. We are known to you as those of Q’uo, and at this time we shall take our leave of this instrument and this group, leaving each, as always, in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.