[overview] How can we really know what is happening in our relationships with others in this illusion? How do we know how to conduct a relationship, by planning or by intuition? Should we be true to ourselves even if it seems to hurt another? If we are always changing, so do relationships. Could you give us some clarity on relationships?
We are those of Q’uo. We greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We of Q’uo wish to bless and thank each within this circle for allowing us to have the opportunity to share our thoughts upon the broad subject of relationships at this time, and we are most happy to do so and simply request, as always, that our words and all words be evaluated by you, for you have the ability to recognize your truth. And if our words have not your truth, then we ask you to pass them by, for we would not wish to make you stumble but only to offer our thoughts.
When speaking of relationships, it is well to begin with the self as it comes to relationship. The one known as B was speaking earlier of knowing who you are and what your situation is as being a foundation for spiritual work and spiritual evolution. This is indeed so. Each who comes to relationship comes first to relationship with the self. Indeed, it can, we feel, be said that each and every relationship which you experience upon the Earth plane is in an important and basic way a projection of a relationship you are having with yourself.
The question mentioned that there was a good deal of mystery left to the detective wishing to know the self more completely. This is inevitable, for the self which your culture and your Earth world sees is actually a shell of flesh together with a metaphysical shell of personality. The incarnate human upon Earth is experiencing in a conscious way only the shadow of what is actually transpiring as each self walks through the moments of space and time that contain those precious moments of incarnation betwixt the date of birth and the date of death.
We notice that among your peoples that these dates are placed after the name of one who has gone on, and find it interesting to note that the whole of the human experience is expressed by the dash between the two dates. It is a little precious gem of a life and within this gem-like construction in which you experience incarnation your personal goal, that with which you arrived into life in the physical body, is to experience more and more truly that which is occurring. Thusly, the one who wishes to know the self becomes an entity who pays attention to the movement of energy within the body, the thoughts and the emotions.
These tides of expression within mental, emotional and spiritual bring with them gifts which cannot be gazed at over a long period of your time, but rather your moments pass with blinding speed. And suddenly, all too soon, your time of learning and growing within the Earth plane and its school of learning lessons of love is all done. And yes, it is a summer vacation when the death arrives, yet it also closes that precious door within which there was confusion and movement and passion and life such as you cannot know outside of the chemical distillery which moves you about and which you call your body.
So, in the beginning of attempting to perceive more accurately relationships one must attempt to move ever more deeply into the business of choosing what you will pay attention to and how fearless you can be in maintaining responsibility for that which you perceive. Now, as you go through these few moments of life an enormous amount of information comes at the self through all the senses of the physical body and the finer bodies as well. Consequently, the choice of what to heed and what to pass over is on a continual basis crucial and the chances and changes of your mortal life occur with great speed. It is more than any entity can do to know the self. However, the attempt needs to be made.
Now, we would say a few words concerning knowledge itself, for it feels to you within incarnation as though you wish to know, to be sure, to pin it down. And we must say that in our opinion that which is called knowledge is, itself, an illusion. We ask you to consider, for instance, those within your culture who are absolutely sure that they know the spiritual facts of life. They then cling to that knowledge and often in such a way that it precludes loving all of those with whom you might be in relationship, for some might not agree that the way that you know is right is for them also right.
The entity who wishes knowledge will penetrate illusion after illusion, and yet each penetration shall uncover another illusion. Knowledge—may we say that which will help you in your quest for the balanced, the loving, the simple, the pure in relationship, and we know that is what you crave, the truth which lies behind that which binds any two entities together—knowledge will fail you. However, we ask you to step back to the beginning, to that impulse which brought each of you to this point, that great overwhelming of being awake for the first time, and feeling for the first time the craving for truth, the hunger and the thirst for love, for that which is true and that which is love are congruent and identical. And the truth which cannot be got at by knowledge can be attained through love, for each of you is love. Each of you is created as love, in love, for love.
That which is you, that which is most deeply yourself, is that portion of self that is love. That ground of being for each of you is the same. There is only one life. There is only one being. There is only unity which expresses and manifests in distortion within your density, within each succeeding density, though each succeeding density is more densely filled with light and the lessons become finer tuned, yet still we move from illusion to illusion, growing and learning. And as we grow, giving and evolving until finally the last realization occurs, not to just one, but to all, and there then becomes that time of resting between creations in an infinite progression of awareness and experience and harvest and coming to breathe inward again the wonderful sweet water of duality and illusion and motion and life and experience.
These times, then, are very precious and [are] art. And you hoped when you came to this illusion to become more able to stand firmly upon the ground of your person, upon that being that is at the bottom of it all and be able to love and be loved with the least possible distortion.
Now, let us ask you this: What do you have in common with everyone whom you meet? We are aware that we have given you the answer. What you have in common is love. Yet, you cannot relate to another by saying to yourself “I am love. She is love. We are love.” You simply have conjugated the sentence. You have not got to love yet. But when you realize that the ground of your being is love, you can turn to love itself and know not the being but the love. The love is that which holds you and another together. You can depend upon the love. You can know that that love is true, that this is the truth of any relationship. It comes to you through love, or it comes not to stay.
We feel that entities who face each other without the awareness that what is between them is love find it of varying efficacy to relate, and because of the nature of illusion even the most earnest attempts to connect with another shall often fail in any human sense. However, if you can remain aware that the connection is not between one and one but between one and one with another one so that there is the go-between, there is the middle man, and that middle man is love. That entity between is the truth, distortions move into that, shall we say, globe of metaphysical light and love that speaks as the entity that is the two is relationship.
When you can envision that which is between you and the other as standing not between you and you but between each and that us which is in love, which is in the Creator, then you give yourself and the other the space, the time, the patience, the permission to relate imperfectly, to misunderstand and work things through very slowly. It is inevitable that the illusion will fool all of its children again and again. This does not change the truth of love. And love will express through distortion. It is not fazed by imperfection. It is simply a matter of your being able to keep a constant awareness of love, for there lies truth.
In all else it is as though life were sometimes effervescent with trouble, as a bubbling glass of your liquid that storms and rages and blows bubbles into its being until they burst forth from the charged water and reach into the atmosphere and explode and then are gone. That is the experiencing, that is the catalyst, that is the movement. That is the life. And when the bubbles are gone, still the drink is what it was. It has simply bled out all of its charged water. The bubbles have popped. There was that experience and that experience. There were trouble bubbles. There were joy bubbles, and they are gone and then there are no more bubbles. There is simply the essence that is you.
We are aware that casting life as a soft drink may not be the most exhaustive analogy. However, we wish you to grasp that each of you is the soft drink. Each of you is a delicious, delectable mixture of all that you have experienced and all the distortions that you have chosen and all of those attempts that you have made and think that have failed and those [you] have made and you think have succeeded. One is almost never accurate within the illusion, but as we have said, the illusion is not about being accurate. It is not about knowing. It is about loving.
When those entities to which we have referred to before within your religions have judged all others because of whether they believe as you do or not, have they loved all entities? When you choose to separate yourself from someone behaving poorly, are you still acting in love? You see it may be that to love most clearly and most purely it is the time to sustain a painful relationship, giving yourself the opportunity to remember love as the true bond betwixt, or it may be exactly the opposite and it is not in knowledge, it is not in thinking, it is not in planning that one can come into a sense of whether it is time to stay or time to go. Rather, it is in that moment when you can let yourself be bubble-free, when you can stop the effervescing, get into your essence, become aware of that silent voice that speaks with thunder to those who can listen with the heart open, that the truth will come out and you will feel it, not think it. It will be that feeling within that feels just right, that feels loving, that feels peaceful. And you may come to that feeling about relationship in a moment, or a month, or a year. And so much of wisdom lies in waiting, in not attempting to make decisions but rather attempting to flow in cooperation with the energies that you sense from moment to moment.
You see, getting at the true nature of relationships through the mind is not efficacious. Moving from heart, moving from the open heart, is far more efficient.
There is more to say upon this interesting subject. However, we feel that there is sufficient material here for this particular time of working, and so we would transfer the contact to the one known as Jim. We hope that you may by your queries fine-tune our responses and that if you wish to move into more information upon this topic that you consider these things before you query again upon the same subject.
We thank this instrument and would leave it in love and in light. We are those of Q’uo.